Early Submissive Thoughts - Very Early

It's quite common for our sexuality and kinks to have some sort of beginning in our youth, long before we know what sex is.  I am no exception.  My earliest memories are from the age around 4-5 when I loved playing cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, and any other childhood games that involved one party having control over the other.  While I would have no problem playing the cop or the robber, I preferred the robber so that handcuffs could be placed on me and I would be taken to jail.  

My friends had older sisters that could easily overpower me, especially when they worked together.  When they did it was intoxicating.  It wasn't sexual, at least I don't think it was.  It was something psychologically powerful to be controlled by these girls.

A large part of kids tying each other up is what happens once you are tied up.  It's human nature to mess with the one you have helpless.  To tease, tickle, or do things to them to get a reaction.

I remember my friend's twin sisters tying me and him up and putting makeup on us against our wishes.  I don't remember if I liked it then but it's one of my kinks now.

As I got older and discovered masturbation I found what pushed my sexual buttons.  One of my strongest memories from when I was around 11 or 12 is quite kinky for such a young age.  I was a late bloomer, so I was one of the smallest kids in my class.  I was shorter than 99% of my class including the girls.  One of the girls in my class was the tallest.  She was blonde, her parents had a large ranch and they had more money than my family.  I imagined she would be having a weekend slumber party with a bunch of girls from my class.  I would be the only boy invited to the party.  As soon as there were no parents around they would surround me and restrain me.  They would put me underneath the outhouse so when any of them had to pee, they would pee on me and laugh about it.  They would make me clean the barn and have turns spanking me.  I have no idea why this was a thing so early on in life.

When I was around 13, I discovered a dirty magazine in my Grandfather's bathroom.  There was one article that I remember, and it's because it's disgusting, but also mesmerizing.  The article involved a switch couple that liked piss play.  They would each pee into a bucket to have supplies for their games.  They would take turns tying each other up with restraints, gags, and blindfolds soaked in their piss so that whichever one was the bottom for that scene was covered in piss.  Again, no idea why this one thing sticks in my mind.  I am not into piss play so it's interesting that I still recall this.

Some other things that spoke to me when I was a kid even though I had no idea what kink was.

Wonder Woman and her Lasso of Truth along with her amazing outfit made me appreciate a strong and powerful woman.

The movie 9-5 where (I was 11) when the boss is tied up and kept hostage by 3 women in his office.  

Any movie or TV show with a woman tied up and gagged.  I wish there had been more men tied up in those shows, but that was the way the world was back then.

Penthouse Forum.  My dad had a couple of Penthouse magazines as did my friend’s dads.  My friends spent all their time looking at the naked women.  I did as well, but focused my attention on the Forum letters, especially with ones that involved some sort of bondage and/or power exchange.

Big hair, lots of makeup, tight clothes, high heels and short skirts were part of the popular culture of my youth. All of those things play a huge part in my fetishes. 

I was into being tied up and tied myself up a lot as a child and young adult.

I lost my virginity to a girl younger than me with a lot more experience than me.  She pretty much took it from me and I was very ok with that  

By the time I hit 18, my sexuality was pretty much set as someone who likes strong females who know what they want, know how to get it, and don't mind controlling men.  

It’s amazing to me how much our youth factors into our sexuality as an adult.

What are your earlier or more vivid memories of your childhood in relation to your sexuality now?

Thinking The Unthinkable - continued

Forced-Bi

Gotcha!  Forced Bi is still a hard limit for me.  I love playing with butt plugs and dildos.  I love having my ass penetrated and I love the humiliation of sucking on them. However, the rest of the male body and male attitude does nothing for me (not even my own).  While I am not into guys, I am super impressed with how creative and mean gay Masters can be.  I don’t ever fantasize about it a bisexual encounter, but it’s so common in the Femdom kink world I do consider how quite a few men end up in forced-bi situations.  Due to how I was brought up I believe I would have a hard time dealing with it if it did happen. That being said, I do believe that this is a hard limit that could be exceeded with the right circumstances.  I don't like the term 'forced'.  I prefer the term coerced.  Every one of my limits has been expanded with practice and being coerced to go just a little bit further than my perceived limit.  I don't see why this would be any different with enough time and patience and persistence.

I’m a huge believer in conditioning of the mind especially when it aligns with existing kinks. I don’t see it as a stretch that if Mistress wanted to me see with a man and was set on making it happen, it would, with the right training and conditioning.  Normalizing the concept in my head.

It would start with chastity. The longer I go without cumming the more my defenses get lowered. Mistress would make sure I watched lots BDSM porn that pushes my buttons but instead of Femdom it would be gay BDSM, trans or forced-bi BDSM.  

Mistress would make sure I spent hours almost every day with something in my ass, and have me practice giving head to dildos. Both sweet soft blowjobs to deep-throating without gagging. 

Mistress would often blindfold me and tie me to the bed. She would tease and deny me to keep me ramped up. She would tell me what her plans were for me and tease me about how much she would love it. She would make me repeat her plans for me so many times they become my words. She would force a dildo down my throat while stroking my cock or use the Hitachi on my cock cage. 

Mistress would use her strap-on with me. She would make me kneel and give her head as long as she wanted before making me bend over and making me beg to have her fuck me in the ass.  I could no longer call her Mistress but would have to call her Sir. 

Mistress would also make me post on gay online forums asking for advice and finding a gay Dom to assist in my training. Who better than a gay male Dom to know what to do?

After several months I imagine that my mind would be slowly accepting my fate. During our tease and denial sessions, Mistress would make me tell her stories and my thoughts. She’d make me say things like “I wish I could have a real cock in my mouth Mistress”. “Please Mistress, bring me a real cock” just to be able to have some stimulation.

At some point, I’d be tied to the bed. Mistress would have me teased to a frenzy. I’d be begging for a real cock and Mistress leaves the room. After a while, an attractive, naked man with a slightly above-average cock walks into the room and sits in a chair. I’m in shock. Mistress comes back to the bed. She’s now stroking my cock and asking me if I want a real cock. I look at the man and shake my head “No”, my eyes pleading. She tells me she won’t make me do anything.  I’m going to have to ask for it.  

She keeps me on the edge driving me crazy. I keep begging to cum, but she says I’ll have to ask for his cock before she’ll let me cum. 

I refuse. She then offers, how about I meet you in the middle?  If you’re not ready to suck his cock, how about I let him suck your cock until you cum?  Then he’ll leave. That seems like a fair trade doesn’t it?  

At this point I am so worked up and am relieved I won’t have to suck this guy's cock. I reluctantly agree. The guy gets up and comes over to me. He places his naked body in between my legs and starts expertly stroking my cock. I moan. He alternates between stroking my cock and sucking on it. Mistress sits on one side of the bed by my face and looks into my eyes with a devious smile. I ask her to let me cum. She says it’s not up to her. It’s up to my new gay Master.

He then tells me he’s an expert at edging and can break me. He keeps me on the edge and asks if I want him to stop. I do want him to stop but want to cum even more.  I ask him to please keep stroking me and to let me cum. He maneuvers his body around so that his mouth is over my cock and his cock is over my head a few inches from my mouth. He tells me he will let me cum if I just kiss his cock as brings me to the edge again. At this point, I’m a mess. I’m this far in and it’s just a quick kiss to get an orgasm. I give his cock a quick peck. He says “See, that wasn’t so bad” and he takes my cock in his mouth again. As I feel an orgasm starting he stops. He says “I’ve changed my mind. I want you to reach up and hold my cock in your mouth while I get you off.”  I relent. I lift my head to place his cock in my mouth.  He says, “Good job my little sissy”  I look over and see Mistress smiling, knowing that her training has paid off.

He again starts sucking my cock again. As he brings me to the edge he stops again. He tells me that he will now get me off if I want, but he will time the strokes of his mouth to the strokes of my mouth. If I want him to go faster on my cock I’ll have to go faster on his cock. 

At this point, I’m too far gone. I go to town on his cock. He lowers his hips so that I am taking him deeper into my mouth and I speed up my pace sucking his cock. He speeds up his pace sucking on my cock. I was so close to the edge that I should be cumming by now but I’m not, I’m still riding on the edge. I notice that the faster he goes, the less stimulation he gives me. He’s edging me and not letting me cum!  

I moan in frustration at my predicament. He raises his hips and takes his cock out of my mouth. He says, “Have something to say sissy?” I reply, “Please let me cum.”  He says “Please let me cum, what?”  I say “Please let me cum, Sir”.  He says "Beg for my cock in your mouth and I’ll finish what I started." He starts sucking my cock again keeps pushing me to the edge and stopping each time he senses me getting too close to an orgasm.  

I give up in desperation. “Please Sir! Please put your cock in my mouth!” He tells me to repeat it until he’s convinced I really want it. 

“Please Sir! Please put your cock in my mouth!”

“Please Sir! Please put your cock in my mouth!”

“Please Sir! Please put your cock in my mouth!”

He looks over at Mistress and tells her “I told you I could get him to beg for my cock”. She laughs and tells me “Open your mouth you little slut”. 

As I open my mouth, he lowers his cock into my mouth and presses his hips against my face. His cock goes to the back of my throat. If Mistress hadn’t spent months with my deep throat training I’d be choking right now. Instead, I relax my throat and focus on not choking and the amazing blow job I am getting. My eyes are watering as he puts additional suction on my cock. I feel the orgasm starting to erupt after months of denial. I try to scream out as I can feel my prostate release but my scream is blocked by his cock. As my body shudders and cum starts shooting out of my cock, he pulls his cock out of my mouth.  I gasp for air and scream in ecstasy.  Then I realize he's not stopping.  He's still sucking my dick and I start screaming due to the over-stimulation. Fuck!  Post-orgasm torture. I squirm and beg while he says "I am in control sissy.  Next time you shouldn't fight it so hard".  All I can think at this point is at least he didn’t make me swallow his load.

He finally stops and I catch my breath.  I'm not prepared for what happens next.  The man walks over to Mistress and tells her to kneel.  She drops to the floor and kneels in front of his cock.  He tells her to suck it and make him cum.  I am in shock.  Mistress would never let me talk to her like that.  While she goes to town on his cock he tells me that he is the guy she has been fucking on her dates.  He tells me that occasionally she likes to give up control, but she wants a dominant man and not a submissive sissy pretending to be dominant with her.  

He grabs her hair and forces her head deeper onto his cock.  I'm even more in shock. She seems to be liking this treatment.  His eyes roll back into his head as he starts to cum.  Mistress eagerly sucks every drop from his cock just like he did to me.  He releases his hold on her and as she dries her lips with her hands, she looks at me like the cat that ate the canary.  She says, "I told you I would get you to take a cock without forcing you to do it".  

Thinking the Unthinkable

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Spontaneous Orgasm - Ruined

 I have been locked in Chastity since Friday afternoon.  Self Locked.  It's been at least a couple of weeks since I have had an orgasm so I am feeling like I am due.  I have been working on my morning routine to make it less about me and more about service and learning.  I am getting up as soon as I wake up and am not going back to sleep.  I am putting on deodorant and a spray of perfume.  My perfume instantly goes to my brain and takes my submission several degrees deeper. The perfume sticks with me all day as a reminder and I truly think it helps keep my male ego down a few pegs.

I have now added a writing task to my morning.  https://writeforme.org/task/64d8c1f1953bc100370270a8

It's 80 lines that I am committed to typing every morning before I do anything else.  Yesterday when I set it up I had it set to add a line for every mistake.  I was making more mistakes than I was getting correct lines.  As I typed and watched my lines increase.  I felt an arousal but for no reason.  I realized I was cumming.  But how?  My cock hasn't had stimulation for days.  I was not hard. In reality, I wasn't even turned on but I was cumming.  What was happening?  It wasn't a little cum either.  I oozed through the holes in my chastity cage and messed the front of my panties.  How pathetic!

As best as I can figure out, as I watched my task get worse and worse the longer I went, I saw the hopelessness in what I was doing.  I imagined if this was truly a part of my life and not me doing this to myself how fucked I would be.  I would be writing for hours.  I truly felt helpless and being helpless in a Female Led relationship is absolutely what I yearn for.  Somehow it gave me an orgasm.  An orgasm with zero physical stimulation. An orgasm caused just by the “thought” of being given a hopeless task. A messy unfulfilling ruined orgasm that did nothing to take the edge off of my horniness.

Have you ever had an orgasm with literally zero physical stimulation?  If so, please tell me more.  I am fascinated by it.

For those that are commenting.  Thank you!  It makes my heart skip a beat knowing real people are reading about this side of my life.

 

Morning Ritual

 I was recently reading a post about a male slave's morning ritual.  In the post, he was required to get up 90 minutes before his Mistress. Once up, he would spend 20 minutes getting ready, 20 minutes deep-throating a dildo (om video), 20 minutes typing his slave mantra and sending it to her, and 20 minutes cleaning her bathroom and making it sparkle.  He would then prepare her tea and breakfast and take it to her.  He would be repeating his mantra (about serving and obeying her) to wake her up.  He would then rub her feet while she ate her breakfast.  If she was in the mood he would be allowed to orally service her and if not he would be forced to stand face to the wall while repeating his mantra while she took care of herself.

I am typically up 1-2 hours before my Mistress.  In the past, I would get up, get fully dressed in a feminine outfit (skirt, blouse, bra, silicone inserts, heels, and a wig), and then I would go prepare Mistress's coffee and take it to her in the bathroom while she got ready for work.  I would then prepare her lunch before sending her off.  The first hour of every day was spent in a fog of feminization and servitude.  I loved it and looking back realize that it started my day on the right foot.

Our lives have changed so I no longer have my full wardrobe, but I would like to start my day with a ritual of some sort.  If you have your own ritual or have some ideas of how I can get my day going without it requiring any effort of my Mistress, please leave a comment.

One of my many morning outfits

Sissy Service

It was a Tuesday night and we were watching TV like we usually do when Mistress hit the pause button. 

She said “I have a surprise for you this Saturday and you know I can’t keep a surprise to myself, so I’m going to tell you now.  But before I do I want you to go put your chastity device.  Once you know what the surprise is you won’t be able to keep your hands off your little cock.”

I was shocked. It’s been along time since mistress talked to me this way. There was no way I wasn’t going to obey. I went and grabbed my most secure chastity device and put it on. I came back to the sofa and handed mistress the key.

She said, “wow, you’re really a desperate little slut aren’t you?”  I blushed and said “yes, Mistress”.

“This Saturday, we’re going to get up and walk the dog like we normally do. When we get back I’m going to go get ready while you make the dog’s breakfast. You will not be eating breakfast or lunch today. Once I’m ready I’m going to Starbucks for breakfast and to read. At 11 o’clock I have a pedicure and manicure appointment. After that I’m going to lunch and have a couple glasses of wine.  I’ll be gone 4-5 hours.”

“While I’m gone you will put your prostate massager in your tight ass. You’ll then put on your heavy steel collar. Then I want you to put on one of your bodysuits.  After that, spray 2 sprays of your slutty perfume on your chest, neck and wrists so the scent is penetrating your brain all day.”

“Once you are all prepared in your sissy uniform you will clean the entire house from top to bottom.  I want the floors vacuumed and scrubbed. I want the sinks and toilet so clean you can eat off them. I want the shower glass and all the mirrors spotless.  Every surface in the house better sparks. I don’t want to find one speck of dust.”

“If you do a good job I’ll let you kneel on the floor and use lotion to massage my newly manicured feet while I read. If you do a poor job you’ll stand nose against the wall holding up a pair of your dirty panties with your nose for an hour and then you’ll correct your mistakes while I supervise.”

“While I’m gone I want you to think about what you’ve become. So desperate for attention that you’ll do absolutely anything I say just to be my sissy servant while I go out and pamper myself.  This isn’t going to be a one time thing either.  We both know you NEED to be treated this way.  This is a great way for me to have more me time, for your submissive brain to be fed and for us to have a clean home.”  

“Well sissy, tell me what you think”. 

I reply, “Mistress you are absolutely correct. I do need this. The more strict you are with me, the more I am under your spell. I hate to admit it but this, but your cruelty and harshness soothes my soul in a way I can’t describe. I can’t wait for this Saturday to come.  Not because I want to spend the day cleaning, but because I don’t want to do that and you’re making me do it. I want to not only make you proud of my cleaning but my willingness to serve you without question.  My goal is to earn more and more harsh treatment.”

I spend the rest of the week straining in my chastity cage. Sleep is difficult because of all of the thoughts that are running through my head.  Mistress teases me and keeps reminding me of Sissy Saturday. Will mistress actually do this to me? I shudder thinking about the possibilities. It truly is the paradox of the submissive male  

Watch Your Tone!

 I was raised by a father with a quick temper, the belief he was never wrong and a propensity to talk down to people. 

I do my best to avoid these terrible behaviors, but I sometimes end up exhibiting these less than desirable traits. 

As a submissive male there is no place for me to act this way.  I blame my male lizard brain and decades of conditioning. 

I’d like to break the cycle. It’s not conducive to a healthy relationship and find the more I get away with it, the more I do it. 

My Mistress will tell me to “watch your tone”. When she does this I argue that I didn’t have a bad tone (never wrong) and then I talk down to her in a way that is belittling to her feelings.  This isn’t intentional, it’s years and years of acting this way that normalizes it and makes me not realize it’s happening. 

I’d like to change my behavior with the use of corporal punishment. Here’s how it plays out in my head. 

During the normal course of the day Mistress says something to me that cause me to act out in an unacceptable manner. All Mistress has to do is say “tone”. There is no warning. When she says “tone” I am to immediately to into the bedroom, set out the ugly stick. I would then lower my pants and panties to my ankles. I would stuff a pair of my dirty panties deep into my mouth to keep the screams down. I would then lay face down on the bed with my arms crossed under my chest. My body weight would keep me from from using my hands to protect my ass. Mistress would then enter the bedroom, grab the ugly stick and sit on the back of my legs to keep me from kicking. She would then beat my ass quickly and fiercely.  I imagine no less than 10 brutal strokes delivered in 10-15 seconds and as many strokes as it takes to satisfy Mistress that my lesson has been learned.  At this point there would be a small lecture about my behavior, a reminder that this was my idea and a question as to whether she should keep going. 

I’d like to think that after a few especially brutal episodes that I would be able to control my temper better, admit to being incorrect and to watch my tone and attitude.  A bad attitude deserves a bruised ass. 

A story with some reality

Below is a story of which many of the things written occurred and a few of them are completely fabricated.  I hope you like it. 

Mistress left town on a short trip.  She's only going to be gone for about 40 hours.  She flew out first thing in the morning which means we had to get up at 5am.  Mistress got up before me to start getting ready.  When I got up I immediately noticed my micro chastity device on the bathroom counter.

"Put it on," she said.  You're going to be so busy that you won't have time to touch yourself.  I'll be taking the keys with me."

I was in shock.  It's been years since we have had real D/S and even longer since I had been locked up by her.

I struggled to get into my smallest device with my hard-on but managed to stuff it in and hand the keys to Mistress.

We headed off to the airport.  On the way, we had small talk about everything that we had going on in our vanilla lives.  I pulled up to the terminal and Mistress told me she left instructions on the kitchen counter. She said the future of our Female Led Relationship would be determined by how well I followed instructions.  Before getting out of the car she gave me a deep kiss and patted my chastity device through my pants while giving a look that made my cock swell.

I rushed home to see what was in store for me.  After feeding the dog I found the letter left for me.

#1. Spray your perfume on (heavy).  I know your mind gets weak when you wear that slutty stuff.  I want your mind open and ready.

#2. Put on your heavy cable collar.  You're going to be wearing this a lot more.

#3.  Paint your pinky fingernails with my teal polish.  It will be enough to make you aware but not too much to go out.

#4. Put on some naughty women's underwear and one of your feminine tops that is not obvious and take the dog for a walk.  When this is done go to page 2.

I completed all of the tasks.  At first, I was paranoid about the top I had to wear but it was early and passable so it was no big deal.  

Here are the panty and top that I chose to wear.

On page 2, I read the following.

#4. When you get back, make yourself scrambled eggs for breakfast.  Put them on a plate and set the plate on the floor in front of a mirror.  Put on your pink cuffs and attach your hands behind your back and start eating.  Be careful.  If any egg falls on the floor you must lick it off the floor.  I am doing this to let you see how pathetic you are.  A 50+ year old man that will do this shows me just how much you will do to be treated harshly.  

#5.  After breakfast, I want you to snap your balls 6 times with the large rubber bands.  I will be inspecting for bruises when I get back so make it good. I managed to complete this.  It hurt, but not as bad as I had expected.  I was bruising easier than usual.

#6. Using your pink cuffs and handcuffs I want you to hog-tie yourself in a way that you can get out.  Put the key 15 feet away so you have to squirm to the keys.  Be sure your nipples are clamped for this.  I want your nipples raw.   After putting clover clamps on my nipples,I dropped the keys at one end of the room and locked my ankles together with one pair of cuffs.  I laid on my stomach and locked one cuff on one wrist and looped it through my ankles and closed the other cuff on the other wrist.  I was stuck.  I quickly realized that squirming on my belly wasn't going to work so I rolled onto my side and eventually to my back where I kept my butt raised and inched to the cuffs.  I was unlocked in about 5 minutes, but my thighs were stressed from my keeping my back off the tile.

#6.  Get to work.  You can't play all day.  While inside you will wear only women's clothes. Take out the dog as needed and put on male clothes over your feminine attire.  When you come back fronm waking the dog you have to put on something new and feminine.

#7.  At the top of every even hour (8, 10, 12, 2, 4) set a 5-minute timer and put on one nipple clamp.  After the 5 minutes are up, switch the clamp to the other nipple.  Do this until the top of the hour and take an hour off.

#8. After work go to the store for your shopping list and your dinner.  Wear your body stocking under your clothes.  When you get back, feed the dog and start your blog post.  Once you have the blog post updated get into something skimpy and scrub the bathroom top to bottom.  It had better sparkle or I will make you do it all over and will blister your ass. I don't care how long it takes.

#9.  When you are done, strip put some cuckold porn in your AirPods, tie yourself spreadeagle to the bed.  Set a timer and lie there for 2 hours listening to women getting fucked by men that are not their husbands.  Imagine this happening to you!

#10.  Add some perfume to your skin and go to bed.  Have Sweet Chasity Dreams.  I will text you all further instructions tomorrow.

Notes for a deep conversation

I recently told Mistress how much I needed to have her control me.  The conversation was good and I am doing things to make her life easier, but we still aren't hitting on all cylinders.  Below are my notes and things that spoke to me when I had this conversation.  They are here in case Mistress wants to see them.  Many of these notes are copied verbatim from different blogs, mostly Miss Christine.  Her way of dominating is something I strive to experience.

 For the purposes of this blog, a submissive is someone who cannot be truly content both sexually, and as a whole, unless they feel helplessly in the power of another.

IT IS A SEXUALITY; in the same way being a gay male is a sexuality. It is not a choice. A submissive will usually discover he or she is a submissive before they reach puberty. Most often between the ages of 7 and 11.

The submissive mind is at first difficult to understand and seemingly paradoxical. The submissive MUST be coerced to endure things they do not like in order for them to feel truly dominated; validation that they are not in control. If a man consents to everything you do to him, then he is really the one that is in control, and he will feel discontented and ill at ease being the one in control.

I will tell my husband that I will not be dominating him that evening or weekend of vanilla activity and I will be using him for his vanilla company. He will not act submissively and I will enjoy his company.

Even when there is a great deal of vanilla time and vanilla interaction in the relationship overall, BUT, when it is domination/submission time, there is no ambiguity that the dominant is truly in charge, wielding real power, (and enjoying doing so). 

It is important you get to feel what true power is like. That decadent, naughty feeling of being in charge. Almost ironically, the seat of your power comes from one simple fact. Your submissive NEEDS you to be dominant from time to time and he knows that. So you can utilise that in two ways. 

First, if he does not obey, you can say, ‘Obey, or I will not dominate you.’ [He will be in awe of you just for saying that, AND MEANING IT.]

Second, if you want him to do a boring housework chore, and he moans, you can say, ‘Doing chores is part of being my submissive. If you don’t do the chores I tell you to do, there will be no domination of any kind.‘ [He will be in awe of you just for saying that, AND MEANING IT.]

So many women initially say to me, ‘…but I love him so much, I can’t be mean to him.’ Well the fact is, while never being mean to him or dominant, you truly hurt him – every single day. He is a submissive and you could so easily bring him and you, an amazing life of joint contentment, but you not being mean or dominant ever, hurts him every single day. This is an unarguable fact. A truth. You may think you should feel guilty for being mean to him, but the simple truth is, you should feel guilty for not ever being mean to him. 

 I dominate you my way or not at all. Again. This is paramount. I dominate you my way or not at all. This brings me to the bathroom needing a proper clean. I’m going to relax while you go and give the bathroom a proper clean. Come back to me here when its done.‘  He is most likely to look at you as though you are a sex goddess and be in awe of you. He may show nothing, but be feeling these things. He may however try to get out of it because this is real and not fantasy and his male pride becomes an unexpected problem for him. If he procrastinates or objects just keep saying,

‘I dominate you my way or not at all. You give the bathroom a proper clean or I stop dominating you, including in the bedroom.’

Once he is cleaning the bathroom while you relax, you will again be feeling real power. Revel in it. It feels wonderful! He will also be thinking he is the luckiest man in the world.

DO NOT ask if he liked having to clean the bathroom. For him, it is not about liking how you dominate him, it is about whether you made him feel submissive. So do not care if he likes it, but, did it make him feel submissive.  He will confess wholeheartedly this fact.  

Because a submissive needs things to happen to them they don’t really like in order to feel they are truly under the control of another,  when you are seeking feedback, don’t ever ask, ‘Did you like that?’ or, ‘Do you like that?‘ Always ask, with words to the effect of; ‘Does that make you feel submissive?‘, or, ‘Did that make you feel submissive?’ 

It is critical to be able to provide an INTENSELY (brutal) emotional event from time to time. Intensely emotional for both the submissive and the dominant. Now and again, I will push one of my submissives well past what they think they can cope with. A LONG, LONG WAY PAST! The result of this level of cruelty is usually very considerable arousal for me and, once the event is over, the submissive holds me in awe and feels a compelling need to worship me. Perfect symbiosis. And they probably sleep more soundly than ever in submissive contentment.

The problem for sissy when I treat him this way is that, despite the terrible nightmare he endures during the event; when it is all over; he is even more in awe of me. Poor submissives really have no hope of escaping either their suffering or their addiction to their Mistresses do they?

Being waited on hand and foot.

Do not say please when giving the submissive an instruction. Do not say thank you when the instructed action has taken place. You may find this difficult if you already have the subconscious habit of saying please and thank you automatically. If so, practice makes perfect. (You can omit those words 24/7/365 if you wish and not just when you are dominating him.) Some dominants go one step further and have the submissive say thank you when the submissive has carried out an instruction of service. Below is an example exchange.

                ‘Get me a glass of white wine slave.’

                ‘Yes Madame.’ The slave returns and, with both hands, passes the glass of white wine to the Mistress. The Mistress looks expectantly at the slave, who then responds as he has been trained to do.

                ‘Thank you for the opportunity to serve you Mistress.’

                ‘You are a lucky slave aren’t you, now get back to your chores.’

I have also included in this exchange a default rule that I impose on my submissives. If passing me something, they must always do so holding the thing in both hands. This is a very respectful mode of behaviour, (Japanese in origin). Try it.

You can start taking advantage of your submissive’s needs by having them do some housework, or, chores of another kind.

If it is not going too far early on, a plain apron, a frilly one, or even more feminine attire (such a maids outfit) enhances the submissive’s feeling of serving a dominant during undertaking chores. Chores are a huge area of win/win in the dominant female / submissive male symbiotic relationship. Both parties get something out of him doing the chores. In a vanilla relationship, no one wants to do chores and they are a bind. In your new style relationship, you get freed up of any chores you do not want to do and your submissive gets a strong shot of contentment from being made to do them.

You can go a step further by inspecting completed work and having shoddy work done again, possibly with a punishment thrown in. What were mundane, boring chores become an enhancement to your lives! You can also immediately mess up the room and make him do it again.  It’s not about the results, it’s about the control.

A Golden Rule

As I have mentioned, submissives absolutely need to feel they are truly helpless in the power of another. Not a game being played they can be in total control of. This brings us to a golden rule to ensure you achieve this. Go just a tiny bit further than they think they can cope with. Whether nipple pinching or spanking or edging, do not stop until there is a whimper or much better still some genuine begging.

This is a tricky area because you must not go so far, that the discomfort stops them feeling submissive. If you stop the first moment they indicate they want you to, they are in control, so they will not feel helplessly in your power afterwards, so you will not get the worship and awe you want, and he will not get what he needs. Do not stop too soon!

At his initial request I keep him on a strict diet. 24/7 during both non-vanilla and vanilla times. As I said, I discovered a dominant streak I never knew I possessed. But controlling his diet has also brought out some wickedness in me which has him in awe of me. I adore contrast; wine for me, water for him, fish for me, lettuce for him, dessert for me, fruit for him. I don’t starve him, of course. He gets his full share of calories, greens, protein and vitamins. But my job was to get his weight down and to keep it there. Whereas he now makes me feel really good about myself and my appearance, regardless of what I eat, drink or how much exercise I do.

In return I’m critical of him because that’s what HE needs. He is turned on by my control. He needs me to decide things for him. And he needs some of my decisions to be tough. That keeps his submissive soul contented. He’s 12 pounds lighter. He feels great about that too.

HERE ARE THINGS I TOLD MISTRESS I WOULD ENDEAVOR FOR.

What you can expect.

No dishes, no laundry, no vacuuming, no cleaning, anything that you think needs to be done should be assigned to me. Obedience.  No talking back (need to end this once and for all).   

How does a typical day look?

Wake up - no phone allowed.  Work on betterment

As soon as you get up I feed the cat, the dog and prepare your tea.

Phone allowed for a minimum amount of time

Walk dog

Prepare and serve breakfast for you

Workout

Prepare my own breakfast

Do dishes

Work

Prepare and serve lunch

Dishes, laundry

Work

Prepare and serve dinner

Dishes, fold and put away any laundry

Chores (clean bathroom, clean fridge, clean Jeep, reorganize cabinets, etc) TV only allowed when Mistress wants my company.  I should be at service at all other times.

Weekends. Bigger projects and chores unless vanilla time.   

The Cuckold Threat

 It’s been nearly a year since I’ve posted anything. Between running a company and traveling extensively there hasn’t been any D/S in my life in quite some time. It’s only very occasional where I lock myself in chastity, wear my steel cock ring, wear panties or put clothes pins on my nipples.  That being said I had a dream the other night that won’t leave my brain. I wanted to preserve it here as it’s still got me worked up. The dream wasn’t as elaborate as what I’m about to write but I’ve since had time to embellish it.  Here we go.

I dreamt that Mistress and I were in bed having standard missionary type sex. My cock buried deep inside her pussy while I try to get her to cum while keeping myself far enough from the edge to make sure she cums before I do. 

Usually during this time Mistress will say that she knows will push my buttons while twists my nipples, this make it VERY difficult for me to not get too close to the edge of cumming.  In my dream Mistress and I are having our usual hot talk when she says, “I’m going to start reinstating the rules, tasks and requirement I used to have for you”.  I lived for the days when I had a list of expectations that had to be followed so this quickly got my attention.

She continued, “This time however, I am going to ensure that you have real consequences for not meeting my demands”.  Oh my goodness. This is sounding like way more than our normal pillow talk.  She adds “In the past you’d weasel your way out of doing things you didn’t like in the hope of me punishing you in a way you wanted to be punished. This just created extra work for me to meet your kinky desires and didn’t benefit me in any way.”  

Now this has me even closer to the edge. This is some serious talk. I’ve always wanted our kinky life to get pushed past games and take on a more serious and lasting dynamic.  These comments got me nervously closer to the edge. 

Mistress proceeded to pick up her phone and show me a screen with a grid of pictures of men.  “Moving forward, when you don’t meet my expectations or do what you’ve agreed to do, I am going to use this dating app to find a man in whatever location we are in to go out on a date.”  I stop moving my hips. We’ve never talked about an open relationship and I have a hard limit of her seeing other men. 

Mistress then drops the phone and grabs my nipples. She wraps her legs around me and clenches her pussy against my cock that is already close to the edge. She says, “if you agree to my terms I want you to cum now”. My mind is spinning. No, I don’t want this. I want my kink, my way. I can be jealous and insecure. However, the control aspect is incredibly arousing, and to think we’d be moving back to a more Female Led Relationship has my curiosity peaked. 

Before I know it, I realize I’m cumming. I haven’t moved a muscle.  Mistress expertly twists my nipples and uses her pussy to take me over the edge. I start loudly mumbling, “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooooo” as I pump loads of cum into Mistress I realize I’m having a ruined orgasm and that my fate is sealed. I argue that my orgasm was a mistake and that I didn’t intend to agree to her terms. She said, “some part of your subconscious wanted you to cum and we both know we need to feed your subconscious little brain what it needs.  Now rule number one is that every time you cum, you need to eat all of your cum. Get to work cleaning me up or I’ll be going on a date tonight.”  Mistress releases her legs from their lock on my hips and I slowly move my face down her body to clean up my disgusting cum.

The dream ended at this point but my lizard brain hasn’t stopped there. I keep thinking about how this would look in reality. I imagine a list of rules. 

1. Clean up your cum every time you cum. 

2. You must initiate sex at least once a week. If I say, no, you will ask for permission to cum. If I say that you may you will proceed to strip and masturbate onto a plate. See rule #1.  

3.  You will go back to wearing feminine attire at night in bed.

4.  You will have my coffee ready to go the night before.

5.  You will get up with the dog every day. 

6.  You will be plugged 7 hours a week.  You decide how the 7 hours work (all at once or an hour a day, etc)

7.  You will do all dishes.

8.  You will request permission for every alcoholic beverage you wish to drink.  Expect to have this heavily controlled.

9.  You will request permission for any snack food you wish. 

10. You will wear panties every non travel day.  You will not wear them when we will see people we know. 

11.  Fingernails and toenails will be polished clear at all times unless another color is assigned.

12. You will wear your collar 24/7

13. You will go into chastity after every orgasm until I release you. I know how much you hate this, but it does get your mind in the right space faster. 

14.  You will address me as Mistress, Goddess, Queen, etc in private.

15.  You will never ask about my dates.

16.  You will drop me off and pick me up from my dates.

17.  You may not sleep when I am on a date. I want you to contemplate your station in life every time I’m out.

18.

19.

20.

If you’ve made it this far I’d love it if you’d add additional rules that you think should be included. Extra points for rules that benefit Mistress without hitting my kink buttons.  Comments are always appreciated. 

A few days of self play

 Mistress is going out of town for a few days, so I plan to make the best of my time alone.  Here are some of my goals over the next few days.

• Pink painted toenails
• Clear painted fingernail
• deep ass fucking with my new 8" suction cup mounted dildo
• lots of deep throat practice with the same dildo
• mascara in public
• self-bondage with key frozen in ice.  I'll be restrained until it melts.
• wearing shorts with pantyhose in public 
• several orgasms, wth a twist
• 1st orgasm earned after 100 deep-throats
• that same 1st orgasm will be with my ring gag in and my cock pointed at my open mouth
• one orgasm with the hitachi tied to my cock and me in self bondage with the hitachi giving me seious post orgasms tortue.
• orgasm while deep throating and with plug in ass
• butt plug in for an hour at a time 4 times a day
• sleep in a new pink body suit all night
• wear a new teal bralette out of the house one day
• some time in chastity

any ideas before Thursday?

Dildo training

Last night I took a shower before bed. I had used the restroom before and wanted to make sure my butt was clean so I soaped up couple of fingers and worked them inside my asshole about 20-30 times to make sure I was cleaned out.  As I did this I imagined Mistress starting me on a daily ass training session. I’d get a long and not too thick (yet) dildo with a suction cup base in it. Every time I’d take a shower I’d ask Mistress how many strokes I can have. I imagine a minimum number being around 100 stokes (about 2 minutes is all) up to 5 minutes for extra measure. 

I  also imagine having a second one for my mouth. Whenever I get mouthy Mistress would sentence me to several minutes of cock sucking as a way to deal with my attitude. Our shower is small enough I can imagine being forced to suck on one cock while taking another in the ass. Mistress would taunt me by telling me she is breaking me in for the real thing or making me tell her how much I loved cock between my ass and my throat getting impaled. She’d threaten bigger and bigger cocks so that I would be ready when she decided it was time for me to have real cocks. The mindfuck would be amazing. 

Nectar of my Goddess

Lately I’ve been fantasizing a lot about Mistress and her piss.  There is no reason for this as I think piss is disgusting. Or maybe that is the reason. It’s not about her piss, it’s about her doing something so degrading and taboo to me.  We just stayed in a hotel that had a large in-room bath tub. It had a safety handle on the side that would have been perfect to have my ankles tied to so that I couldn’t jump up to save myself from her pungent onslaught. I imagine my hands being tied to my side or behind my back.  I imagined a ring gag or some other way to force my mouth to stay open.  Mistress would either stand or squat over my open mouth and start verbally teasing me.  Asking me how much I wanted this. I’d tell her I didn’t as much as I could through the gag.  She’s ask why my cock was so hard then. She’d tease me about making this a regular occurrence unless I shaped up. Eventually she would release large gushes of urine over my face, stopping several times to prolong my humiliation.  Her smelly piss would go into my nostrils, eyes and ears.  I’d end up drinking about half of her piss and the rest would pool coldly around my body as she closed the tub drain before we started. Mistress would then proceed to get dressed and walk out of the hotel room tell me me she’ll be back when it’s time for her to relieve herself again. “You’re going to be my piss whore for the day or longer if you’re lucky” she’d say as the door slammed behind there.  

I’d sit there in my humiliation, with my hard cock straining, wishing I wasn’t such a submissive slut willing to endure more and more humiliation just to satisfy a very secret part of my soul. 

Mask Mischief

The whole coronavirus mask thing creates conflict in my brain. I don’t like wearing a mask but I understand it’s importance. Where the conflict arises is what happens in my brain. 

When I must do something I don’t want to do, I try to sexualize it in some way. Chores around the house, I sexualize it. Doctor and dentist appointments, I sexualize it. Wearing a mask is no different.  Here are some of the ways I envision turning mask wearing into a sexual event. 

Ball gag under a mask. I imagine wearing one of those neck gaiters so that the back of my head is covered.  It would be interesting to buy something at a store and not be able to converse with the clerk.

Here is another version.  A large penis shaped plug forced into the mouth, taped in and covered.  This one can be scarier since you can make the plug as large as you want.  The sheer terror of someone finding out.

My last fantasy has several variations.  The first it Mistress wearing my mask inside her panties for several hours.  Whenever we go out she pull my mask from her panties and makes me wear it. There would be her musky smell and traces of urine in the mask.  I would be in sub-space in no time.  

Other variation include having to wear my own mask in my pants and wear it so that I have to smell myself.  I also imagine Mistress taking a couple pairs of her dirty underwear and making me put one pair in my mouth and another pair over my nose before putting my mask on over my face.  Again my head would be spinning.  The final variation would be Mistress making me cum inside my mask or cleaning up after sex with my mask and having to wear it for several days.

All of these ideas makes wearing my mask a slightly more  tolerable.  Now if I just had the guts to tell her.  

Cock Rings & Panties at the pool

 Mistress and I are on a quick vacation. We’ve both been reading erotica and I’ve gotten myself so worked up that I’ve been trying to be secretly naughty. 

The last couple of days I’ve been wearing panties and a cock ring under my swimsuit. The panties are tight and the cock ring keeps my cock hard when the erotica turns me on. 

I’m big into FemDom but the best story I’ve read all week has been a Male Dom story. It makes me realize that although I skew submissive I have a very creative Dom side. Here is the 1st of the series. 

https://www.literotica.com/s/change-of-control-ch-01

Now I’m off to mentally torture myself some more. 

Dream about cum

 Last night I had a dream that I very much want to share with Mistress and at the same time scared to do so. Scared because it might happen. Excited because it might happen even though I don’t want it to. 

Recently I got Invisalign braces. I have pretty straight teeth in the front but my bite is no longer straight.  I thought Invisalign was an elegant solution, but in reality they glue a bunch of attachment points to your Terry to quicken the correction and to hold the trays in place on both your upper and lower teeth.  There is no way to remove them without them with my tongue and they are locked in until intentionally removed.  

In my dream, Mistress has me take out my Invisalign and tells me to get naked. She then ties me down spread-eagle and naked to our bed. She is naked as well and stroking my cock. After a but she mounts my cock and puts me inside her. As she rides up and down on my she tells me she is tired of me begging for sex all the time. How she’s tired of me egging her on to do bad things to me. She says I need to bite my tongue more often and watch my mouth.

Mistress continues to ride my cock and she gives herself a couple of her squiring orgasms using my cock. She then starts pinching and biting my nipples which she knows will push me over the edge. I ask for permission to cum and she grants it allowing my to fill her pussy with a couple weeks worth of cum. 

As I come down from my orgasm Mistress mistress proceeds to pull my Invisalign braces from behind her back. Mistress scoops my cum out of her drenched pussy and starts filling the trays with our mixed bodily fluids. I figure out that these nasty trays are going in my mouth and I force my lips closed. Mistress tells me to open my mouth and I shake my head “no”.  Mistress wastes no time punching my balls quickly 3 times while telling me to open my mouth. I gasp in pain willing to do anything to avoid another smack to my balls. Mistress snaps the the tops one in first and while snapping in the second she tells me this will be my new normal as long as my mouth pisses her off.

She proceeds to explain that she’s going to leave me tied up to contemplate my situation.  Moving forward, every time we have sex I will be expected to fill my trays with our cum and wear them until my next meal.  She further explains that doesn’t necessarily mean we are going to have more sex.  If I piss her off she will make me take out the trays, and masturbate in front of her, in my hand and fill the trays with my cum only.  She knows how much I hate my cum after an orgasm.  She says she’ll make me wear cum filled trays in public as an added punishment.  

I thought for sure that this dream was unique, but a quick internet search proves this was thought of a long time ago. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/IsThatCUM/comments/f55jfy/cum_in_invisalign_braces/

P.S.  I have been driving myself mad this week with reading erotica.  So mad, I couldn’t fall asleep, so I decided I would masturbate as I really needed to sleep.  I wanted to cum quickly, so I was thinking about this dream  I snapped one of my Invisalign out of my teeth and proceeded to masturbate into it.  Half way through my orgasm I knew there was no way I could put my cum filled tray in my mouth.  I truly need to be restrained or seriously coerced into doing this until I get used to it.  Be careful of what you wish for.   

Sleepwear

Last night I wore a nighty. It’s been months since I wore a nighty.  When Mistress asked, “where’s your nighty?” as I was crawling into bed, I got instantly aroused. I happened to be wearing panties at the time so l left them on as well.   I’ve never slept in both a nighty and panties before. The panties had an added effect on me. I had forgotten what it’s like to sleep in a nighty.  Normally I sleep naked. Wearing the nighty was a constant reminder of my feminine/submissive side. The straps digging into my shoulders. The satin rubbing my freshly shaved body as well as my nipples, arousing me further.  The restriction of my movement, all working together to turn me on more than I already was.

Adding the panties even pushed my buttons more. The panties restricting my normally free cock. Slightly riding up into the crack of my ass. The panty and nighty combo were certainly more powerful than either one by itself.

It’s 4AM and I can’t sleep.  I am sooooo horny. I don’t know the last time I had an orgasm, but it’s been weeks.  I want to edge myself so badly but I am afraid I’ll have an accident.  I’ve been obsessed with my eventual birthday beating, watching videos of guys and girls getting brutalized far harder than I would ever want with canes, whips, etc. It horrifies me as much as it arouses me.

The last couple of mornings, under my male clothes, I wore the swimsuit that I stole from Mistress’s donation pile. The swimsuit is very tight and restricting  The bra strap on it dug into my skin.  My cock and balls were severely confined. The bottoms rode up in the back. The front of the swimsuit is full coverage. The back of it is just the bottoms and the bra strap which left my back completely exposed. The thighs were cut high enough that I could see the skin of my hips over the top of the waistband of my shorts. In addition to wearing it around the house, I also wore it when I took the dog for a walk and while running errands. I was VERY self-conscious.  I felt like everyone could tell I was wearing it under my clothes.  I was very careful to not let it be seen while getting stuff done around the house. It was fairly uncomfortable, which in my mind was what it should be. Essentially being punished for being so desperate and horny that I was wearing a woman’s swimsuit under my clothes.  I’m always amazed by how much of my feminine side is awakened the longer I go without an orgasm.

That’s enough for now.  I’m going to try and drift off to sleep in my panties and nighty.