Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Zap and some comments on breaking.

I have been extra difficult to deal with lately.  Mistress and I are starting to do some work together and we are butting heads.  I tend to get speak in a manner that sounds shirt and harsh.  It's certainly not my intention. Last night was one of these times where we got into a more heated back and forth and Mistress told me to put on my shocking collar.  I didn't say no, but I also didn't put it on.  She didn't press the issue, so I didn't put it on.  Had she insisted, I like to think that I would have obeyed, but she didn't so we didn't test that theory.  I was not ready to put it on just for the sake of getting shocked.  The horse had already left the barn so to speak.

That being said, I am working from home today.  I have put the shocking collar around my balls and locked it with a padlock.  I cannot remove it, and it's installed before we have any issues.  I can see me having to wear this whenever I am home, especially during working hours.  I have such a powerful fear of electricity that I am already aware of any potential tone issues I may have later today.

The other night a comment was left on this blog in response to my request for feedback from readers.  It was from a Mistress that mentioned that she would like to see me post as a broken slave.  I have been thinking of what it would look like for Mistress to break me.  While certain parts of it I can fantasize about, the other thoughts I have are reluctance as I know it would suck on many levels.  I tend to agree with her take however that if somehow Mistress was able to get me to the breaking point, I would likely be at a whole different level of submission.  The thought of enduring whatever Mistress decided to put me through, just to show my devotion as her slave is something that I find extremely hot.  That's definitely one of those 'be careful what you wish for' scenarios. 

Monday, December 11, 2017

Used and put away

Last night at bedtime Mistress decided she needed to have an orgasm.  She has me unlock myself and told me I would need to be locked up first thing this morning.  I advised her that may not be a good idea and that it would be best for me to be locked back up immediately after she was done using me.

Mistress just started her period and was a bit insecure about it.  I assured her that I am fine with that and it's easy to clean off if there is an issue.  It felt amazing to be inside Mistress again after more than 2 weeks.  She warned me not to cum.  I assured her I didn't have any intention of cumming.  I was able to hold off from cumming more than I thought I would be able to, but Mistress made it difficult.  She was pinching my nipples nice and hard, hard enough I can still feel it this morning and it makes my cock throb.  She also added some commentary that nearly pushed me over the edge a few times.  I am not sure of the order of her comments, but the few I remember are as follows.

  • This morning I was to put on the shocking dog collar around my balls.  The cage is a great deterrent, but it makes it so she can't use me.  With the shocking collar on my balls she can punish me and keep me close and useful.  

  • I was to start handling the dry cleaning as she no longer wants to do that particular chore.  She also told me that she would be delegating more and more things to me.  

  • She was considering not letting me sleep in our bed at some point in the future.  My head just spun writing that sentence.
  • She is considering having me move the cage into the living room.   
  • My life is about to get tougher. I assured her that is what I am asking for.  

As I kept getting closer to cumming, Mistress didn't want me to have an accident, so she had me use my fingers.  I can make her cum hard and fast using my fingers.  I was in heaven.  Pleasing my Mistress while my cock was being totally ignored.  Making her cum was my only priority, as it should be.

I was able to get her off a couple times and she let me put my cock inside her.  After a short while she told me to get off of her, clean up and lock myself back up.  It was perfect.  I wouldn't have changed a thing.

As I awoke this morning I realized how lucky I was to be locked up again.  Mistress got up before me and the temptation to touch myself would have been too much.  I know I would have tried to edge myself.  I wouldn't have tried to orgasm, as I love the amount of sexual chemicals running through my veins.  I fear that I wouldn't stop edging soon enough and I would have an accident that I would be to embarrassed and scared to admit to Mistress.  Being locked up gave me that extra bit of help I needed.

I love being owned and locked by my Mistress.


Sunday, December 10, 2017

The 99.25% Confession

I was reviewing my chastity log to see where I am at in the grand scheme of things.  I am on my 15th day of continuous lockup.  I thought I was close to a record, and I'm not even close.  Here is where things stack up.

Current - 16 days
Sept 27 - Oct 13 - 16 days
August 29 - Sept 14 - 16 days
Dec 18th 2015 - January 16th, 2016 - 29 days.  This occurred after Mistress sent me an email saying we needed to recalibrate our dynamic. -

It appears it will be New Years Eve before I break my old record.  Now to be fair, my previous records were not 100% continuous.  The 16 day periods this year were with me swapping out devices and being free at least once for a few days.  The 29 day period during our re-calibration period had me out overnight once for a party we went to and for sex another time.  As best as I can tell by going back to old posts, I likely stayed locked for 21 days straight at the end of 2015 and into 2016.

What's interesting from back then is that after I was unlocked in January, I was not locked back up until June. For some reason we skipped a whole four and a half months.

Now that it's my goal to stay locked in chastity 24/7/365 (and I yearn for it) it's time for a confession.  If I am not locked up, I am on the honor system for orgasm control.  Restricting my orgasms is is a fetish for me as well as I believe that it's good for our dynamic.  It's something I want badly.  But I am human and not perfect and I surrender to temptation occasionally.  Just doing the math, I am around 99.25% successful on the honor system.  That sounds pretty impressive until you realize that means I
have 2-3 unauthorized orgasms per year.  This number is lower now that Mistress works from home, but it still occasionally happens.  Another way to look at this number is that if I am permitted to cum 20-30 times a year and I add 2-3 extra orgasms, I have a 10% fail rate.

The first way this happens is when I try to edge myself and get carried away.  These generally don't result in a full orgasm as I really do try to stop in time, but far too much cum is released for it not to affect my libido.  The 2nd way this happens is outright cheating.  I purposefully stroke and have have an orgasm, making it quick and satisfying.  When I do this, it's after Mistress has given me an orgasm and my submissive libido is down.  It's more likely to happen after a ruined or less than a fully satisfying orgasm.  I get a taste of what an orgasm is like and I can't handle thinking I won't have one for a long time again.

While I'm at it, I should add that no time is safe.  In fact, more of my cheats have happened while we are on a vacation somewhere.  Mistress and I tend to have sex on vacation (so my submissiveness drops a bit) and when I can't sleep I sneak off to masturbate so I can fall asleep.  Moving forward, going on vacation shouldn't mean a vacation from chastity, especially at night.

I am not proud of my cheating.  I have promised Mistress that 100% of my orgasms are hers to control.  As much as I believe in the honor system, I can't promise that I won't fail in the future.  I am weaker than I thought and apparently need help with control. 



Friday, December 8, 2017

Posts and/or Quotes that speak to me.

Mistress recently told me that if I link to another page, she generally doesn't go to the link.  So I went though many of the links I have done in the past and put them below.  Some are basic one liners that make my cock hard, others are more in depth and go deeper into my psyche.

He wants you to be his QUEEN, so go ahead and be one.

Do things without particular reason, use your sub in ways you never thought about before. Feel the power, let him feel the loss of it.

Make sure you are served well whenever you feel like being served.

If you are just indulging in your husbands fantasies, and not really taking control by pushing your man into doing uncomfortable things, then you are really again, just being controlled by him.

In order for female dominance to become real, you must make it real, by forcing him to do things that he does not want to do. You will either be done with all of this, or you will have the breakthrough, where you truly have brought your man to his knees in full servitude to you for the rest of your life.

Consider it like breaking a horse or training a dog. Men are no different. They can be trained to submit to your will on all matters but you do have to “break him”.

Take him, break him, mold him, and have a relationship with him, that few ever get to experience.  A relationship that puts you on a pedestal, with him serving you as you wish.  Imagine a relationship, where chores are the mans job, (unless you want to help), orgasms are an obligation for the men to give, and a privilege for him to be granted rarely for exceptional servitude.

This is your world now. You are dominant, and your man is your submissive. He asked for this, but he didn’t realize what it meant. Too bad.

You are now the dominant goddess of the house. What you say goes, is what goes. There are no exceptions. What you want is what you get… Be disciplined with yourself, and do not do things that contradict your dominance.

How nice is it to have an unpaid servant who’s glad to serve you? That is the premise and the promise of a Femdom relationship.

When it comes to chastity, you are not punishing your man - you are protecting him from his perfectly normal lack of self-control.  You are not denying him sexual pleasure. In fact, when you do release him from his male chastity belt, sex will feel better for him and his orgasms will become much more intense.  You are not denying yourself the sex life you deserve. While he’s locked up he’ll use his mouth and fingers to provide you with sexual satisfaction on a regular basis. And, there are ways that you have satisfying penetrative sex while he is still under lock and key…

When done correctly, your man will feel more loved by you than he did before male chastity became a part of your life. In fact, most men eventually thank their wives for insisting on the lifestyle.  While at first you’ll only keep him locked up for a few days at a time, eventually he should be restricted to eight to 12 orgasms a year. This is more than enough.  Over time he’ll start to feel like more of a man, because he’ll know that all of his sexual energy is going towards pleasing you. He’ll like the fact that he no longer feels like a little boy who can’t control himself when you are not looking. Instead, he will be saving himself for you…

Punishments are a very effective tool in a FLR. In fact, I would say a punishment is very powerful when done right. Punishing your husband is essential for keeping the FLR strong. When you administer a punishment, it lets him know there are consequences for bad behavior and it also brings a fierce reality to his submission to you. When he faces the consequences doled out by you, it sends a clear message that this is not all fantasy and that you have authority over him. In my opinion, when you punish your husband and he accepts it, it has a real effect on his psyche which elevates your authority over him and pushes him deeper into submission to you. The ultimate outcome is a husband that is obedient and doing everything possible to make you happy.

Make sex more devotional with less penetrative intercourse. Use his tongue a lot. Just watch how his balls get bigger and bigger. Regularly, leave him frustrated. He’ll be more assertive, more attentive, more eager to please.

Intensifying - whichever action you take, request or carry out, each time you repeat it, intensify it a little bit.

He confesses that he feels humiliated on occasion as I use him for my pleasure leaving him with an engorged penis and my secretions covering his face as I just walk away.  But this dynamic makes him even harder, so I discount it.

Submissive men have a need to serve, they want to be trained, held accountable and punished for their mistakes. This is all part of having a female authority in their lives. And they need the relationship to be real, not some game, something she does just to please him. But men and women think differently and women have a hard time, especially in the beginning, understanding the needs of a submissive man. They tend project their own feelings and their way of thinking into the situation.  Too many women see themselves as mean, selfish, arrogant and cruel. So they struggle to take on the role of the female authority in a femdom marriage …Know this, we are not being mean or selfish or cruel, instead we are giving our men the gift of servitude. Which just happens to be exactly what they want and need.

Your Control over him - It comes in waves, it comes slowly. The best part of it is seeing your sub accepting it, adapting to it and finally handing it over, completely. Even better is seeing him starting to anticipate everything, your wishes, your needs, etc. Even better then that is hearing no complaints, no cry-outs for what he is lacking. And even better then that is the sense of rush hitting your brain every time you realize he will obey anything.

The best way to dominate your man is to make him do things you know he doesn’t want to do, both  in and out of the bedroom.

Male orgasm denial has numerous benefits, but do you know the chemical reasoning behind them? Endorphins, hormones, neurotransmitters, and neurochemicals (neurochemistry) affect how we ALL think and feel. By controlling your mans orgasms, you can control their brain chemicals and can condition (train) them.

Orgasm control is a powerful psychological aspect for a submissive man, and you too will learn to enjoy your teasing and control. It is another important power exchange with you controlling the single physical aspect of maleness that is maleness alone, a hard cock and orgasm at will.

You should orgasm much more than he does. That goes without question, his submissiveness definitely translates into you cumming more. You need to teach him how to orally please you better, and as often as you like.

The more I feminize him, the more submissive and pliable he becomes.  I love watching him do a long list of chores in his maid outfit while I watch my programs.

All I have to do is threaten taking my husband out in his feminine attire and his behavior dramatically gets better.

His smooth muscular chest was covered in a lace corset. His tan athletic shoulders were looming over his constricted waist. All of the places that I held him were covered and pinched. I hadn't realized how much I loved his male body until he dressed as a woman.

Then I pointed to a pink bra on the bed and told him to put it on. He looked at me surprised.  I told him firmly to put it on and not ask questions.

Making him wear panties while caged, was one of the hottest ideas we came up with. You have no idea how extinguishing for his male ego this is, it’s not just a good idea, it’s bullseye.

Back rubs, foot rubs, leg rubs, body massages, anything you think you might like you should try, and then do as much as you like. He loves every minutes of doing anything for you, especially if he is physically close to you.

The only thing standing in your way of having everything you dreamed is your own head. Take your man, boss him around, hurt him, be a bitch. Don’t think about it. Just do it. You will see what happens. He will become more obedient. He will automatically start doing the chores. He will ask you what you need.  He loves you, and wants you to own him. Deep down, he needs to feel loved, wanted, and being your sex toy for some reason, shows him this more than anything else you could do. Because truthfully, a true sub with a woman doesn’t care about the specifics if you do this right, or that you do that right. He cares about you telling him what to do, and him having to comply…

If you want roses, you get them…
If you want back rubs, you get them…
If you want an orgasm, you get it…
If you want to come home to a clean house, you get it…

You may want to put him through a number of tests to ensure he can serve you properly and in all ways. You could include both domestic and intimate tasks. These would test his abilities to maintain the home or bedroom, as well as making sure he can anticipate and satisfy you every need and desire.
You could see if he can provide sexual pleasure for extended periods neither seeking pleasure for himself nor succumbing to his own lust spontaneously, particularly if he has been placed in chastity.

Don’t be afraid to adjust the rules to meet current needs. As people grow, things change. A rule that once made sense, may no longer be required, or perhaps something that was once strict needs to become more lenient (or vice versa).

Once he has had a taste of bliss serving you, and if you work with him, and spend some time training him, and fulfill his needs, all of your dreams will come true.  Dream it, ask it, order him to make it come true, and watch him scramble to make it happen.

You might also wish to assert your Dominance of him by choosing his clothes and other attire. This can include another less obvious collar which could be worn under clothing, cock rings, and chastity devices.

Tell him what to do, and expect him to obey immediately, without question. Remember, if you want him to treat you like a Queen, you have to act like a Queen.

You give him his dream, you receive what most women dream about, unconditional surrender, attention, time and being placed at an invisible pedestal.

I am now thoroughly convinced that no man can be so devoted to a woman as a submissive man can. And lets face it, most women want just that, devotion.

Never take a NO for an answer, never tolerate excuses. Be on top of things all the time. Step by step, disallow whatever you see fit. Train him into unquestionable obedience and humility.

As a service-oriented submissive it is your duty to strive to make the dominants life less stressful and more enjoyable.

In a FLR, discipline is a very important part. Disciplining your male sub, whether it’s about physical or mental, should definitely be presented on daily basis. Real submissive men learn they roles quickly and practically, they do not need discipline to keep them in line. However, levels of submission highly depend on discipline, more precisely the type of discipline.

I therefore suggest, if you are a dominant, you make absolutely clear the pleasure you get from each and every slice of adversity to which you subject your submissive. You can’t be shy about being cruel, about being a sadist. You must be bold about this. Make sure some adversity is simply for your pleasure and nothing more. Your submissive will be further in awe of you if you do. Your submissive will feel even more helplessly under your power.

I highly recommend some type of daily  ritual where the sub is required to do something in a D/s context.  This ritual will help the submissive mentally transition into a true submissive role in the relationship.

A nice benefit of rituals is once a ritual is established, the submissive knows exactly what to do. The Dominant partner does not have to worry about giving commands (unless they are part of the ritual) or telling the submissive what to do.  We have a bath ritual that I just love.    I just have to whisper to him, "get my bath ready."

Kink is certainly are a part of the FLR for many people, including myself, but they are only a small piece of the overall FLR.  The FLR is more about a lifestyle decision to accept the woman as the lead.  It is about the male embracing his obedience to his wife and striving to please her.  Life does get in the way sometimes but in a healthy FLR the underlying dynamic of the FLR remains intact during those busy times. 

I find that regular sessions in our female led marriage keep him from becoming lazy or forgetting his chores and responsibilities.  If I wait too long between sessions, he tends to slack off a bit or become lazy.  It's like maintenance on your car.  You have to take your car in for regular maintenance in order to keep it running in top condition.  You could always skip maintenance but your car will not perform at its best and overtime a break down will occur.  Discipline sessions are what keep your husband serving you at his best and prevent a break down in the relationship from occurring.  With regular discipline you should have less need for punishment.

Once you have established a female led relationship based on previous lessons, body worship is the next step.  Body worship is not a sexual act.  Anything from massage to masturbation or from giving her a bath and washing her hair to painting her nails or helping her shave.  It's about her.

Free Time: how he spends his free time is up to you. If he has been obedient and done all his tasks, you can treat him to a limited time where he gets to do an activity. Make sure he negotiates with you and gives you options. You ultimately decide how he spends his free time. It is important that free time is revoked when he has not been 100% obedient or dutiful. Instead of free time he has then earned corner time when he’s not working for you.

Your husband wants an FLR. But he won’t be able to keep to it at first. It is hard to change habits and develop new habits. You will need something to exert absolute control over him.
In my experience, the best way to control your husband is to take control over his finances. Instruct him to have his paycheck paid into an account you and only you control. Next, have him hand over control of all his accounts bar one. Every month, you can write him a check he can deposit into this account. That way, the worse he performs, the less money he gets and the more he feels his dependency on you.

Rigorously adhering to a schedule of weekly discipline session for a submissive partner is very important.  At a scheduled time each week, you and your partner know that you will have him over your lap, over the back of a chair, or over the edge of the bed for an extended session with the cane or what ever tool you select. This is the session that will fix that laziness and it provides the opportunity for you to vent your frustration – like a discharge of built-up electrical power. When the frustration and irritation is gone the spanking ends, and not before. Whats important here is that this is not ’ play time’ and this is not for his pleasure. Spankings are meant to hurt as your partner is supposed to actually learn from  the lessons you try to teach him.

Man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please Women… 

Yes.  I have Rules.  And Yes, you will obey them.
And Yes, you will love me for it.
Oh, Yes.

Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)

Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face.

He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. 

For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for additional humiliation. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.

Thursday, December 7, 2017


Mistress and I have a fairly equal relationship.  We do a good job of sharing chores around the house.  We outsource cleaning to a cleaning service.  We have our own bank accounts and bills. 

When Mistress was working in a office 50+ hours a week, I worked from home.  I took on much more of the household responsibilities.  I made her coffee most mornings, I made her lunch and I did my best to keep dishes done and dinners planned and prepared.  I was definitely in service mode and most of our friends knew I was the house husband.  Even though it was practical, I was able to twist this into me being her slave, and these were my slave duties. 

For a little more than a year Mistress has been working from home and for the last 6 months I have had to go into the office.  The roles have flipped quite a bit.  Because it's practical.  I still try to make her coffee.  I don't make her lunch and she has been cooking a ton. 

In our day-to-day routine, Mistress treats me well.  Occasionally Mistress will require me to fetch her a drink.  But other than that she doesn't order me around much. 

If I were wired like a typical guy this would all be normal if not expected.  But I'm not wired that way.  Even before puberty, I had fantasies of girls that used me.  When I was younger I would let girls copy my homework.  The girl I lost my virginity to used me in a way that fulfilled my submissive nature.  She was younger than me and more sexually experienced.  She would use me as her chauffeur, for companionship when she got bored and for sex, long after we were no longer dating.  In my early adult years I dated a couple women that would use me for companionship (no sex as much as I tried) and to pick them up if they were out drinking too much and didn't want to drive home.  All of these occurrences made me feel like I was being friend zoned or pussy whipped, but in reality it fed my submissive tendencies.  To be of use and to serve a woman was what was actually happening.  It turns out the women that I dated that treated me well, likely treated me too well.  They didn't use me and therefore it didn't fill that part of me.  I ended up treating them worse than I treated the women that treated me poorly.

That brings me to this part of my life.  I am mature enough to know that being treated well is rare and I am lucky to have it.  Mistress treats we well, but she also doesn't let me get away with treating her poorly.  She can be demanding which obviously fills a need for me.  She can be very nice as well which fills a need for my non-kinky side.

All of that being said, I yearn to be more of a slave to Mistress.  This past weekend Mistress thought we should have some drinks.  I didn't realize it and she went into the kitchen to make them.  When I noticed, I said "don't you think I should be making you a drink?  What good is having a slave if you don't use him?"  She realized that I was right and came back to the sofa to let me serve her.  As it should be. 

Last night I tried to peel some shrimp we were having for dinner.  She wouldn't let me.  We have some stuff going on in our lives that makes me think she is trying to serve me, to show appreciation for some sacrifices I am making for the 2 of us.  While I appreciate the gesture, I would rather she not serve me.  I would rather she make me serve her.

Even though I am older and more mature and I appreciate the balance we have in our relationship, I still want to be used.  It fulfills something deep inside of me.  I want to be used to make her life easier and I even want to be used in ways that tests my willingness to serve.  I am going to list a bunch of ideas down below along with my 'I'm not topping from the bottom' disclaimer.  It's important to note that some of these things seem mean or even bully-ish, but that's if you aren't wired the way I am.  It's like opposite world, nice is mean and mean is nice.

Ideas below - not topping from the bottom.

I started a list of specific things.  I deleted it.  There is no need for a detailed list.  If Mistress needs ideas there are plenty in this blog, there are plenty in communications we have had over the years, and there are plenty of ideas with a quick search of the internet. 

This is a good synopsis of what I am hoping to communicate with this post.

Chastity - you rule the penis, you rule the man

Power - accept (and use) your power over your slave

Delegate - whatever it is your are doing, decide if your slave should be doing it. Remember, this fulfills him even if he doesn't like the task at hand.

Sexual Satisfaction - make sure you are sexually satisfied, that will satisfy your slave.

Discipline - regular discipline to reinforce your dynamic, daily or weekly as necessary.

Humiliation - can be a fun and effective way to keep the male ego in check

Feminization - keep your slave in a certain state of mind

Subspace - making sure your slave goes into sub-space frequently keeps him grounded

Rituals - set a tone of submission for him



Sunday, December 3, 2017

Chastity and Orgasm Update - Squirting - A Request

With my recent vow of chastity, I was wondering how this year has stacked up against other years.

I'll start with chastity. 

Year to date - 75 days and a month still left in the year.
Last Year - 70 days
2015 - 36 days
2014 - 15 days

That means even if I stopped today, this would be the longest I've been in chastity in any year of my life.

Now we can go to the number of orgasms.  Up until I took orgasm control seriously about 10 years ago, I would cum at least once a day and likely more, so let's call it 300+ orgasms a year.  My how things have changed.

Year to date - 21 orgasms
Last Year - 31 orgasms
2015 - 37 orgasms
2014 - didn't track, but was on target for 48 orgasms
2013 - 34 orgasms
2012 - 14 in the last quarter alone.  Didn't track before that.

I love the idea of ending the year with over 100 days in chastity and 21 or 22 orgasms (less than 2 a month).  Then I love the idea of breaking the record next year.  300+ days in Chasity, 18 orgasms or less. 

I would really like to add a new page of Mistress' orgasms.  Having to log them all including the ones I am not a part of.  What a mind fuck.  Me getting 12-18 orgasms (if that) and Mistress have several hundred.  That idea make my head spin.


When I was searching for images for my Hitachi post yesterday, I came across this one. 

Mistress and I both have a fantasy of me being tied down on the floor and Mistress up in a chair or on a bench.  She would either be using the fucking machine or another toy that makes her squirt.  I would be just under her getting soaked in her juices.  I'd like to add a gag that keeps my mouth open as well so I can drown in her juices, or better yet a funnel gag.  That inspired me to find these.

We have a box that would work perfectly for this


Lastly, a request. 

According to my stats there are 50-100 people that read every post I make.  Would you please make a comment?  Anonymously is OK, if you want to maintain your privacy.  Make a comment, even if it's just to say 'hi'.  If you are inclined to do more, I would love to know what you like or don't like about my blog.  I would love to know what you would like me to post more of or less of.  My Mistress reads this blog as well, so any comments you make will be seen by her.  Maybe you can give her some ideas???

To all that read this blog, Thank You!

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Orgasms for Mistress

Now that I truly believe that I can be locked in chastity 24/7/365, my mind has shifted a bit.  Instead of thinking about being released, I am actually spending a lot of time thinking about how I can make sure Mistress is satisfied even if I am locked up.

Of course, being locked up, should only affect me.  It's her cock, she has the key, she can do with it what she wants.  I do like the idea that it's locked up unless she is using her cock for her pleasure or for my torture.  But what if I can get her to warm to the idea of not unlocking me?  How can I keep her sexually satisfied.

First is my hands.  

I can easily make Mistress cum with my fingers.

  I can make her cum over and over until the sheets are soaked.  I can do this for as long as she likes and there is no way I will have an accident and cum too soon.  The best part is I can stay locked.

Next is my mouth.

Mistress isn't too big on me performing oral sex on her, which is a shame.  I like being so close to that part of her.  Although she is more ok if I use my fingers too.


When we first met, Mistress favorite toy was her glass dildo.  I haven't seen it in some time.

The Dildo Gag

I love the mind-fuck of being so close to Mistress and not being able to taste her.  Her scent going deep into the recesses of my brain to make me so desperate.

The Hitachi

Notice how it's all about her?

The fucking machine - Now this is the one idea that intrigues me the most with me being locked up.

I can totally envision having the fucking machine set up in our bedroom.  Mistress would have me set it up whenever she wanted to use it and clean it all up when she was down. It would sit in the corner of the room, taunting me about what I can't have.  I am going on a business trip tomorrow.  I love to think of Mistress home all by herself with the machine while I'm in chastity on the road.  I would come home to a pile of dirty towels and a machine that needs to be put in the corner.

Last is me wearing a strap on while I am locked up.  I get all of the simulation of sex with none of the stimulation.  Mistress gets multiple orgasms while I don't even get to the edge.

I absolutely love the idea of being a chaste, locked up slave whose sole purpose is to make Mistress orgasm over and over again.  The idea makes my head spin.  I am dying for the reality of it.    


Friday, December 1, 2017

Feminine Photo Shoot

I don't dream very often and when I do, it's very rarely sexual or D/s related.  Last night that was not the case.  Recently, Mistress and I had some professional photographs taken for work.  Mistress had makeup and hair done professionally and got started without me. I showed up while they finished with her solo pics and then I joined in for a bit.  Everything was very well done and professional.

Last night's dream was a variation on this experience.  When I showed up to get my pictures taken, the makeup girl said "oh great, you're here!  Put this on" and she handed me a white slip. 

Once I put the slip on she had me sit in her makeup chair.  She put a blonde wig on me and started doing my makeup.  She told me "I am going to go very, very heavy on the makeup, but it will still look very professional.  We just want you to feel the makeup so you can feel the shame."

While I was getting my makeup done Mistress was getting her pictures done, just like it happened in real life.  When I was done, the photographer had me get into a very sissy like outfit. 

The rest of the photo shoot was done very professionally.  Mistress wore her professional outfits and I wore something like the above picture.  Just like the picture above, my chastity device was visible.  The photographer had me lift my skirt to show it off for a couple pics.  For other pics, Mistress had me on a leash.  And a for few pics my arms were tied behind my back and my ankles tide together white I was sitting on a tall stool.  The dream was not at all sexual.  It was very erotically humiliating (in a good way) especially when Mistress kept telling me how good these pictures were going to look on the website.  Just recollecting this dream has my cock straining against my chastity device.  


Thursday, November 30, 2017

Chastity Reality

Mistress hasn't said so, but seems to be more than willing to let me stay locked in chastity indefinitely.  This excites me more than it frightens me.  My head spins with the thought that I may never touch my cock again or know pleasure without it being approved by Mistress.  No more touching myself absentmindedly.  No more edging myself.  No more 'just a couple strokes'.  No more rubbing my cock into the sheets (that's not touching myself, right?). 

Most mornings I reach down and give my cock a feel.  I think it is instinct at this point.  At 5 in the morning a touch will usually give me a nice 'morning wood' hard on.  I would usually push down on my cock and feel it strain, and it would be a nice erotic feeling.  Some mornings I might do this longer than not.  Other mornings, if Mistress is already up, I might edge myself.  This morning this reality hit me.  I was coming out of my slumber and I reached down to feel my cock.  All I could feel is warm steel on my hands and my cock felt nothing whatsoever.  My head spun.  I am an official chastity slave.  My cock got hard just thinking about the control I have relinquished.  In my entire life I never thought I would get to this point, but here I am.  I am in heaven knowing Mistress has 100% control over my cock.

That being said I want to make sure Mistress knows that me being locked should not stop her from being pleased in any way she wants.  I have fingers, a mouth, a tongue and of course a cock for Mistress to use for her pleasure.  We also have many toys and a fucking machine.  There is no reason Mistress can't be 100% satisfied even while I go without.  In reality, me being locked in chastity doesn't have to limit my orgasms either.  It just means that anytime Mistress isn't using my cock, it's locked up.  I do love the idea of serving Mistress sexually as a true sex slave.   

I am going on a business trip soon.  Normally this would mean Mistress would let me out of chastity.  In some cases Mistress would give me a mind blowing orgasm prior to me leaving to make sure I am not horny on the road.  Other times she would give me orders to orgasm while I am on the road for the same purpose.  I am asking Mistress to keep me locked up on this trip.  I have imagined that I would switch into my CB-6000 on Sunday before heading to the airport.  I would put a ring in my piercing that requires a special tool to open.  I would secure the ring inside the device, so that I cannot pull out.  I would have to send Mistress a picture or two a day of me in my device or in some other compromising position.  I imagine taking my prostate massage toy to see if I am able to make myself come anally or video myself milking my prostate. That may be me asking for too much pleasure.

So that sums up my feelings of being locked 24/7/365.  I love falling deeper and deeper into submission.  I love my Mistress.         


Wednesday, November 29, 2017


Over the last few years I have acquired a good selection of BDSM videos that are on my hard drive.  A good number of them were from when I was a member of the family of websites.  Now my preference is Femdom videos, but I also saved a good portion of Male Dom, Female to Female, and even some transexual and gay BDSM porn as Mistress sometimes likes to watch those types of videos.

I don't watch these videos often.  Maybe if I or we are traveling, and very rarely at home.  Yesterday was one of those rare days.  I have a Roku video streamer and there is a channel on it that is connected these videos so we can watch them on any of our large screen TV's.  Mistress stepped out to get her nails done and run a couple errands. I was working from home doing some tedious online class for work, so I decided to have some entertainment playing in the background waiting for the online class to progress.  I went into the "all videos" section and decided on the letter P, hoping to find some predicament bondage.

I first watched a couple girls Domme a guy.  It was a lot of boring spanking and ass fucking, so I fast forwarded through much of the video until they made him cum and then made him eat his cum.

Then I watched a very short one where a guy was tied up in a jail cell.  The woman came in and stroked him to orgasm and then kept on stroking until he was begging her to stop.

The next one was a guy locked in chastity.  The only stimulation he gets is his Mistress kneads his balls until he has an orgasm.  After he cums she makes him fuck himself in the ass with a dildo to show his obedience after an orgasm.  That's devious.  

The next one I stumbled across was called Point of No Return.  It's from the's Device Bondage.  Now this one is Male Dom which doesn't do it for me as much as Femdom does.  However in this case it did an awful lot for me.  Mainly because of how jealous I was of what this woman had to endure.  Just to be clear, most of what this woman goes through rides a fine line of being too much.  In every scene there are tears, screams, yelling in frustration, hopelessness, fear, pain, humiliation, exposure, degradation and for her, many, many orgasms. 

The first scene is my favorite, mainly because this one would be the easiest for us to duplicate at home.  The scene starts with the woman fully dressed and bent over in a stockade type restraint.  We have one of these in the basement, not exact, but close enough.  She is in heels, a dress, and panties.  I imagine she has been left in this position for some time, to wear her down both physically and mentally.  In this position she is to high to kneel and too low to get any relief for her lower back.  I am certain the heels are adding to her discomfort.  And now I am jealous wishing I could trade places.    

Picture of the stockade in our basement.  
The Dom comes in the room and fondles her for a bit to show her how helpless she really is.  He whips her enough to get her dancing in pain.  He then removes her panties and keeps whipping her.  Not too hard, but certainly not too soft.  After a bit he uses scissors to cut her dress off of her leaving her completely exposed.  Next come the clover style nipple clamps.  But he is extra mean and uses 3 sets of them.  While I would absolutely hate 3 sets, I am again jealous.  

After the clamps are on, he takes a string and ties it from the center of one pair of the nipple clamps and then has her bend her knees.  He then ties the ends of the string to each of her knees.

He then whips her a bit trying to get her to straighten her legs and pull the clamps off.  She resists and keeps her knees bent, so he steps it up.  He grabs a cattle prod and walks behind her.  She can't see it but she can hear it charging.  He tells her to straighten her legs.  She starts crying saying she can't.  He keeps telling her to do it, and gets more and more scared and frustrated.  Since she won't do it herself he tells her she is going to get shocked.  He makes her choose a leg.  

By now, her left leg is shaking uncontrollably.  I am sure there is some fear about it, but mostly being in this position for so long and not being able to change leg position.  Now at this point I am starting to feel real empathy for her.  I hate electricity.  I hate the thought of electric shock.  Even something mild compared to a cattle prod would have me reacting the same way she is reacting.  Electricity is one thing that puts true fear in my heart.  As much as it scares me and I would fight it, I am again jealous of this poor girl.

She eventually picks the right leg and he shocks her hard.  She jumps and one of the clamps gets pulled off of her nipples. She is in agony.  He backs off a bit and lets her regain her composure.  Her legs are still shaking while he strokes her skin.  After a short bit he starts back up and tells her she still needs to straighten her legs.  He tells her if she doesn't, she will get the left leg with the cattle prod.  Of course she begs him not to and he ignores her request.  He zaps her and she pulls the other clamp off.  He immediately puts a Hitachi on her pussy and in no time she has rebounded from the pain and fear.  As he rubs the hitachi on her pussy he takes off and puts back on the clamps, creating a pleasure/pain battle.  She is begging to cum, her legs are shaking, and I am certain her mind is an absolute mess.  What an amazing predicament bondage scenario.  All of that and I am super jealous of her.  

The next scene has her tied like this.

He puts suction devices on her nipple, pussy and clit until they are filled with blood and sensitive.  He uses a cane on her body as she screams in pain with tears in her eyes.  Then he gives her the Hitachi treatment again.  She is drooling all over herself while begging to cum.  Eventually he puts a clothespin zipper on her, from her armpits to her toes, while the Hitachi is buzzing her.  He makes her choose decide if she wants the zipper pulled before or after she comes.  She wisely chooses before.  As much as I would hate the zipper, I am jealous of her.

The last scene starts like like this.

She is tied to Sybian vibrating saddle.  She has a corset on. Her arms are bound behind her in a leather arm binder.  She has a very tight posture collar on around her neck.  Her hair is tied to the ceiling keeping her upright and from falling off.  Her feet are tied up and back so that she cannot use her legs to escape from the vibration.  For the next 30+ minutes he vibrates her pussy and clit while alternately whipping her, torturing her nipples and using a plastic sheet to cut off her air supply.  

Through all of this, she has countless orgasms.  Since he doesn't turn off the saddle, she goes from one orgasm to being too sensitive and into another orgasm again and again.  Not being able to have multiple orgasms makes me even more jealous.  All of this was fairly boring to watch, I had to fast forward through a lot of it, but I am certain it was not boring to have to endure.  You can see the look on her face several times as though she is in another world or having an out of body experience.  In the post scene interview he said he stopped the scene because he didn't think she would or could.  Hot!  

I imagine the next day she hurt from dead to toe.  Her feet from her shoes and from being whipped.  Her legs from trying to endure so many strenuous positions.  Her back from being bent over.  Her nipples from being clamped and whipped.  Her pussy and clit from all of the orgasms and vibrations. I also bet every time she thinks of this event she will get very wet and aroused.

Having to endure even one of these scenes let alone 3 on top of each other seems very difficult.  I am extremely turned on imagining myself having to go through something similar and so intense.  Being pushed in such a way that I would seriously consider using my safe-word (during electricity) and either not using it or not being allowed to have one.  Riding the line between torture and ecstasy would be such a mind fuck.  My cock strains against my device just thinking about it.  That made me pretty jealous of this woman and many like her.