Spontaneous Orgasm - Ruined

 I have been locked in Chastity since Friday afternoon.  Self Locked.  It's been at least a couple of weeks since I have had an orgasm so I am feeling like I am due.  I have been working on my morning routine to make it less about me and more about service and learning.  I am getting up as soon as I wake up and am not going back to sleep.  I am putting on deodorant and a spray of perfume.  My perfume instantly goes to my brain and takes my submission several degrees deeper. The perfume sticks with me all day as a reminder and I truly think it helps keep my male ego down a few pegs.

I have now added a writing task to my morning.  https://writeforme.org/task/64d8c1f1953bc100370270a8

It's 80 lines that I am committed to typing every morning before I do anything else.  Yesterday when I set it up I had it set to add a line for every mistake.  I was making more mistakes than I was getting correct lines.  As I typed and watched my lines increase.  I felt an arousal but for no reason.  I realized I was cumming.  But how?  My cock hasn't had stimulation for days.  I was not hard. In reality, I wasn't even turned on but I was cumming.  What was happening?  It wasn't a little cum either.  I oozed through the holes in my chastity cage and messed the front of my panties.  How pathetic!

As best as I can figure out, as I watched my task get worse and worse the longer I went, I saw the hopelessness in what I was doing.  I imagined if this was truly a part of my life and not me doing this to myself how fucked I would be.  I would be writing for hours.  I truly felt helpless and being helpless in a Female Led relationship is absolutely what I yearn for.  Somehow it gave me an orgasm.  An orgasm with zero physical stimulation. An orgasm caused just by the “thought” of being given a hopeless task. A messy unfulfilling ruined orgasm that did nothing to take the edge off of my horniness.

Have you ever had an orgasm with literally zero physical stimulation?  If so, please tell me more.  I am fascinated by it.

For those that are commenting.  Thank you!  It makes my heart skip a beat knowing real people are reading about this side of my life.

 

Orgasm Overload

When I was being denied orgasms for nearly the last 3 months I was really enjoying the neediness, desperation, and submissiveness that was created.

Now that I’ve cum a couple times I am craving more and more orgasms.  Instead of no orgasms, I’m wanting to be forced to orgasm until I’m begging to not cum. Since I came a couple weeks ago I can’t get this fantasy out of my mind.  I envision a couple different ways this would happen.

Mistress picks a weekend to indulge me and gives me a set of instructions. I am to be in our bed at the top of every even hour, naked and have 3 of my limbs self-restrained. We would have our Hitachi vibrator, Venus 2000 masturbation machine and a couple of masturbation sleeves available. Just before 8 am on a Saturday I head upstairs and restrain myself to the bed. Mistress comes in and pulls a blindfold over my eyes and restrains my untied arm and then walks around the bed tightening all of the remaining limbs.

She climbs onto the bed and lubes up my cock with coconut oil and stokes my cock until I get hard. She then mounts my cock and fucks me while I am tied down. She proceeds to tell me that she is going to take the whole weekend to milk me dry and unable to cum. She says she won’t be satisfied until I’m begging her to stop with tears in my eyes.  She tells me that we will start with the ways to make me cum. Her pussy. Her hand a masturbation sleeve. Once those no longer work she will move on to the heavy machinery of the Venus 2000 and the Hitachi. She says she’ll be adding certain elements such as nipple clamps, cock straps, butt plugs and other items that she knows pushes my buttons and gets me to orgasm faster. She also tells me to expect lots of post orgasm torture.

In no time I am at the edge and I ask for permission to cum. She tells me that this weekend I do not have to ask permission to cum but I do have to tell her when I am about to cum. I tell her that I am cumming and I quickly fill her pussy with a lot of cum. Mistress climbs off my cock and sits on my face and orders me to lick her clean. She then informs me that I will be eating as much of my cum as possible.  As soon as we are done Mistress releases my limbs, tells me to leave the wrist and ankle cuffs on and tells me to cook us breakfast.  We finish breakfast a bit before 9 o’clock and I work on straightening up my office.

My 10 o’clock orgasm is delivered by a very well lubricated hand and she doesn’t stop when I cum. I thrash in the bed until I’m exhausted and then Mistress feeds me a combination of cum and coconut oil from her fingers.  After each orgasm I am released and given something to do or we catch up on one of our TV shows.

At 12 o’clock I’m tied back in bed. Mistress uses her had again. It takes longer but I cum and eat it up again.  I’m sent off to run some errands with panties on under my clothes.

2pm - Mistress uses a masturbation sleeve. It takes me a while to get hard so Mistress applies nipple clamps. The pain makes my cock throb and Mistress forces another orgasm out of me.

4 PM - I’m having a hard time cumming so a cock strap and nipple clamps are added.  Mistress uses the Hitachi and is able to make me cum. She keeps it buzzing long after I cum and I am begging her to stop. 

6 PM - Mistress tells me to go insert a butt plug and head upstairs. Now she starts using the Venus 2000. This device can suck an orgasm out of guys that have erectile dysfunction and can’t get hard. It takes a while but a very uncomfortable orgasm rips from my body. This is starting to feel like torture.  I am instructed to leave the plug in.

8 PM - as I am about to head upstairs Mistress announces that I am done for the day. I am to remove my plug and we will start again at 8 am on Sunday.

I sleep very well, but also concerned about the next day.

I’d like to keep going but I also want to leave it a mental mystery. I do imagine there is a point where I can’t cum anymore.  I also imagine there is a point where I am having an orgasm, but since I can’t cum, the orgasm keeps going and doesn’t stop. I’m in heaven and hell at the same time. I’m pulling against my restraints because it feels so good, too good.  Cumming until I can’t cum anymore and still being forced to is an amazing fantasy of mine.

One other variation of my fantasy is not just orgasm overload but total overload.  Blindfold, earphones with white noise or porn playing in my ears. A gag. A heavy leather collar. Nipple clamps. A tightly laced corset.  Stockings and high heels. The e-stim plug in my ass.  I’m tied to the bed with the plug pulsing in my ass, the Venus stroking my cock and the Hitachi adding vibration wherever Mistress wants it.  For the next 4-5 hours, Mistress keeps the machines running.  Turning off and on. Changing the speed of the stimulation. Nipple clamps are removed and added back. The earphones are occasionally removed so that Mistress can fill my mind with things she knows pushes my buttons. After each orgasm, the machines relentlessly keep going. Making me scream in agony until the agony turns to pleasure again.

A boy can dream, right?

Now that I’ve got myself all worked up. I should stroke my cock through my panties to orgasm, but I won’t. I’ll post this and get to work.

Out Of Chastity - For Now

I've been too busy to post and am going to make this one short as I really don't have time now.

I am currently unlocked.  After 77 days (my 2nd longest lock up ever), we went on a trip, on a plane.  Mistress doesn't like me locked up on planes or in hotels as she likes easy access to my cock.  So far this year I have been locked for 171 days which is 2 days longer than last year, and we still have 4 months left in the year.

One thing that happened over the last 77 days is that my cock now seems to have a permanent upwards hook on the tip of my cock.  Best as I can tell, when I would get hard in the cage and my cock wasn't in the best position to get hard, it would bunch up at the end of the cage with the tip pointing up.  We're still doing some research, but it's likely this hook will reach Mistress G-spot even better.

So far I have had 2 orgasms since I have been unlocked.  The first one I was too excited in Mistress and I didn't have permission to cum.  I stopped long before I thought I was at the edge and my cock pumped months worth of cum inside Mistress.  While the orgasm was unfulfilling, being inside of her was indescribably amazing!  It had been so long.  The 2nd orgasm was much more fulfilling and I am looking forward to my next one.

I have also been able to edge again.  In the 12 days since I have been unlocked, I have edged 9 of these days a minimum of 8-10 edges each time.  If I had time right now I would be edging and possibly decide to go over the edge.

I have now had 9 orgasms, but only 5 authorized.  I absolutely love not having control of my orgasms.  I'm out of time and have to run.

  

Ruined

Mistress and I went away for the weekend.  I was given the key to release myself from chastity on Friday morning so that Mistress could have access to my cock.  It was nice to be able to shave everything without being blocked by a device.  On Friday night Mistress was getting tired and I asked if she had any intention of using me at that time.  She said no so I locked up so I wouldn't be tempted.  That was a good idea. 

You can see my device peeking out through the lace

Being drunk in a hotel with Mistress asleep in the next room is my 'go to' time for masturbating.  Not so on this trip  The next morning Mistress didn't say anything about the device so I was locked up all day and night, including the hot tubs at the hotel.

Sunday morning Mistress told me to unlock myself.  I went into the bathroom, raised my tight pink nighty and removed my device.  I sprayed a bit of my perfume on me and went back to bed.  Mistress teased my cock with her hands and it felt amazing.  It had been so long since my cock had felt anything in week so I was in heaven.  After about 10 minutes Mistress had me put my cock inside her.  The feeling was indescribable.  Her previous teasing was probably not a good idea.  After about 20 slow strokes I was ready to cum.  I had to stop.  Mistress flexed her vaginal muscles and that was enough to keep me on the edge.  She reached up under my nighty to pinch my nipples.  I was so close to exploding.  And then she started talking.  She said I needed to start dressing feminine at home again.  Skirts and heels, etc.  I had to pull out.  Her fucking words put me over the edge.  I leaked a bit. 

At this point my cock was worthless.  I was so hyper-sensitive that it served no sexual purpose for Mistress.  I felt bad about it, but also was surprised how my of a sissy chastity slave I have become.  This is when it hit me that my mouth and fingers were better than my cock as far as being able to take care of Mistress needs.  Talk about a mind-fuck. 

Once I gained my composure, I entered Mistress again.  In no time I was on the edge again.  Mistress spoke about improving my treatment of her.  We brainstormed on ideas to improve my behavior in a D/s context.  Keeping the cane out so I can be beaten immediately upon was one idea.  Another was to keep a pair of my highest heels out so that I can be placed in the corner for time out until I can learn to behave.  Again, a combination of words and stimulation brought me over the edge.  I had to pull out again.  This time I did everything I could to not cum.  I clamped down with my kegel muscles to try and stop from leaking.  I tried so hard that I felt nothing.  No orgasm and no leaking although it was a apparent that I leaked. 

As soon as I regained my composure, I was able to enter Mistress and fuck her properly.  My leaking took my arousal down enough to allow me to fuck her and not cum.  I was finally able to give her an orgasm with my cock which is the first time I had been able to do so in over 2 months.  Mistress kept egging me on with promises of making me dress feminine and keeping my discipline up.  I was so worked up, but also frustrated.  I really tried to cum at this point, but my previous leakage left me exhausted and I pulled out unsatisfied.

Mistress had me stay unlocked the rest of the day.  That night I should have gone back into chastity, but Mistress didn't reverse her previous stance that I stay unlocked.  I went to bed in my nighty and woke up with something I hadn't had in nearly 2 months: an unrestricted hard-on.  Lying next to Mistress I stroked my cock many times.  It felt amazing.  It was weird to have my cock feel my own hand.  It was like it had been disconnected for all of this time.  I got out of bed and went downstairs.  Mistress got up before I could get myself any further stimulation.

Last night before bed I put on my nighty and went to bed.  Mistress said "you're forgetting something".  I pretended to not know what she was talking about.  She told me to lock myself back up which I did happily.  I LOVE it when she "makes" me do things.  I also confessed that I had cheated and touched myself. 

This morning I woke up, back into my submissive extremely horny state with feminization and torture over taking my thoughts.

      

I got tied up last night!!!

Last night I got tied up!  It was a reward for a gift that I recently gave her.  The last time Mistress had restrained me was on January 29th, when she strapped me face down to the bed to give me a quick caning before a business trip.  208 days (nearly 7 months) without being tied up and I sure did miss it.

Mistress had put our session on the calendar the day before.  I made sure to have my body fully shaved, a nice spray of the perfume she bought for me and I even wore panties, although I don't know if she noticed.

Mistress had me put on my restraints while she pulled implements of pain out of the night stand drawer.  Once I was secure to the bed and blind folded, she used some liquid coconut oil to stroke and tease my cock.  Mistress alternated between causing me pain and teasing me to the edge.  To cause pain she used rubber bands on my inner thighs (cheap and effective) and other instruments on my inner thighs and on my balls.

From last night's session

I went back and forth from extreme ecstasy and extreme pain.  The endorphins built up quickly and I was high off of them.  Mistress kept me on the edge very well and the frustration was maddening.  When I get high like that, I can't control myself from talking too much.  I begged Mistress to lock me in chastity afterward.  Not because I wanted to be locked up, but because I tend to cheat and masturbate after an orgasm or a ruined orgasm.  Mistress mentioned that my toenails would soon be painted 24/7.  That prompted me to ask for night-time feminization which she readily agreed to.  She also mentioned that I should be tanning in a g-sting before our upcoming vacation.

The back is much smaller and gives naughty tan lines

As Mistress kept torturing me, she made sure to mention that her coffee needs to be ready to go before we go to bed at night.  My desperate mind made me yell out "and the dishes too".

As we progressed I thanked her for being mean and implored her to increase her control over me.

Mistress said we had 2 minutes let to play and that instantly got me to the edge.  I'm pretty sure Mistress knew it but she stroked a few strokes longer than what I thought she would.  That did it.  I leaked an unknown amount (I was blindfolded) but I soon found cum covered fingers in my mouth feeding my cum to me.  I didn't even come close to an orgasm but Mistress was done with me.  She untied me and told me to get cleaned up and into chastity.  

At bed time I was torn on what to do.  I wanted to be told to put on my nighty, but I also wanted her to know how desperate I am to do anything she tells me to do so I put it on.  

I had a rough night of sleep.  I hadn't been overnight in chastity in 6 months.  My mind was racing with erotic thoughts.  I had a dream that Mistress hired a personal coach to help her push me even further.  I also dreamed that I was serving a ladies group in a cocktail outfit.  

This morning I woke up so very horny.  My inner thighs hurting.  Still in chastity.  I put on a bit too much perfume and went about my day.  My head is spinning due to the smell and the left over libido I have.  It's all I can do to keep from begging Mistress to torture me some more. 

   

A lot of sneaky edging

The last few days I have been edging quite a bit.  Mistress has been running errands and when she leaves I edge a few times.  Yesterday, before I could even get to an edge I was leaking.  I have never been a leaker.  I managed to lick up most of it, but apparently I didn't get it all.

I was edging to poor guys getting ruined orgasm after ruined orgasm when they are tied up and not able to move a muscle. 

The woman in the video below has a very good torturous technique.  It's so firm yet so slow.  When she ruins his orgasm at the end, I know his exact response as I have felt that same way.  The swear words can't come out enough.



  

Chastity. Device vs. No Device

I have been locked in chastity now for 36 days.  Out of those 36 days I have been out of chastity for about a total of 1 hour for Mistress to use her cock.  That's 864 hours that I have been locked with one hour of freedom.  This is a record for me as far as continuous wearing of a device.

It's been 38 days since I have had an orgasm.  That's my 4th longest orgasm free period in my life and a bit more than half way to a new record of denial.

This recent experience has reshaped my ideas on chastity devices.  Here is a synopsis.

Chasity without a device.  I have gone long periods of denial without a device.  As I have stated previously, I am pretty reliable when it comes to the honor system.  But even 99% reliable is still for 3-4 unauthorized orgasms a year or a 25% failure rate if allowed to orgasm 12 times a year.  Without a device, denial without some sort of constant reminder, becomes easy to forget.  It's easy to feel asexual instead of hyper sexual.  Without a device I am occasionally tempted to touch myself, especially when I am in bed alone after Mistress has already gotten up or when Mistress leaves the house for work.  While I do my best to avoid an unauthorized orgasm I sometimes go too far and end up with a ruined orgasm.  I know for a fact that I would have edged myself on at least 4 different occasions over the last 36 days if I were not locked up.  I would also be highly tempted to masturbate as soon as possible after a long denial period or a ruined orgasm.  One benefit of not wearing a device is that my wardrobe choices are unlimited.  Sexual spontaneity is another plus for not wearing a device.

Chastity with a device.  Now that I have fully submitted to the idea of wearing a device I can be a lot more candid about it.  First off, a device makes me hyper sexual.  I cannot stop thinking about my situation.  From the second I wake up, to using the rest room, to bathing, to dressing, to sitting, to standing, to driving, to shopping, to going out with friends, to staying at home and watching TV, to sleeping, there is barely a minute that goes by that I don't feel sexually submissive.  The accommodations I have to make, makes it certain that I cannot forget that I am a chastity slave.  I cannot absentmindedly touch myself, therefore any sensation my cock gets, can only be because Mistress allows it.  Just yesterday morning, Mistress was out of bed before me.  Without thinking, I reached down to give my cock a little squeeze.  Instead of the feeling I was expecting, my hand grabbed my device.  My brain was confused for a split second as the expected sensation wasn't there.  Instead of a physical sexual response, I ended up with a mental submissive/slave response.  I groaned in frustration while at the same time being highly satisfied that I was locked up and under Mistress' control.

I can also not discount the mind-fuck aspect of being locked in chastity.  Last weekend Mistress and I were out and we ran into a woman that we knew from our circle of friends.  We were chatting and she joked and asked us if we wanted a threesome with her.  It may not have been a joke, as we strongly believe that she has been in a couple of threesomes with other couples we know.  While I might fantasize about being in a threesome, the biggest thrill I got out of it was being propositioned for a threesome while being locked in chastity.  If she only knew.

Another mind-fuck aspect is being locked when Mistress and I are not getting along.  It's hard to have the upper hand in an argument when she holds the hey to your cock.

I cannot be trusted on the honor system if total control is what Mistress wants.  While I strive for denial and can achieve it, I don't have enough self control.  While edging on my own and having an accident can likely be forgiven, my biggest chastity crime cannot.  When I am granted an orgasm after long denial periods, Mistress feels generous and will let me stay unlocked for a period of time.  Overnight or even a few days.  This is actually the most dangerous time to let me out.  After a long denial period and especially after a ruined orgasm I am at my most disobedient.  I will sometime purposely give myself a quick, full, satisfying orgasm.  Being locked up immediately after an orgasm does 2 things.  It keeps me from cheating and it gets me ramped back up much faster.     

For those Mistresses that want to completely own their slave, I am of the opinion that a device is necessary.  Even if your slave is 100% honest and chaste, a device makes being chaste a 110% situation.  You can always unlock your slave every day for teasing or for pleasing, and lock him right back up. 

Here's a question for those reading this post.  How do you feel about chastity devices and what other aspects of being chaste can you expand on?         

  

Harsh Treatment - Yay!

Mistress and I recently had an anniversary.  Last night Mistress gave me a very memorable anniversary scene.

We came home after a couple drinks at a local bar.  We both had the right amount of buzz in us.  Mistress said she wanted to tie me up and I was more than happy to oblige.  Looking back through the blog, the last time I was tied up was March 28th.  I ran upstairs to take a shower and Mistress got out some champagne.  After my shower I got our bed ready for our adventure.  I pulled the restraints out from under the mattress, and put towels on the bed.  I pulled out all of the toys and laid them on the dresser.  I put on 2 ankle and 2 wrist restraints.  I put a large rubber band around each thigh as well as a blindfold over my eyes.  I proceeded to tie 3 of my limbs so Mistress would only have to restrain one.

Mistress came upstairs.  She finished tying me up.  It was then that I realized I had forgotten to put my perfume on.  I mentioned it to Mistress and she grabbed a pair of panties out of my panty drawer.  She sprayed a bit on the pair of panties and then put them around my head and over my nose.  I was instantly in a trance.  I can't explain it, but that perfume does that to me.

Mistress also added extra rubber bands to my thighs before tying me back down.  I don't remember the exact order of events, as it is now a blur, but I was well used.  Before the scene was over Mistress had massaged my prostate with her fingers.  She had inserted a dildo in my ass (unfortunately she wasn't wearing it).  I had clothespins on my balls and my nipples (my favorite).  She managed to hit me in the balls more times than I can count all while stroking my cock with a well lubed hand and a Hitachi vibrator.  I have multiple bruises on my thighs of where the rubber bands inflicted their excruciating pain.

Mistress had me so worked up that I was running at the mouth with confessions of how badly I wanted to be treated.  Everything ended with Mistress making me cum against my wishes.  Even though I came hard it was also a ruined orgasm.  She stopped or slowed down a bit when I started cumming so I lost that complete drain that can happen and then she kept stroking me to where I was laughing hysterically.  I was spent.  Or so I thought.  I woke up early this morning completely on 10 again.  I wanted to wake Mistress up and have sex but also want her to sleep.  My mind is racing with thoughts and I can't stop it.  Here are some of the thoughts I had while being tortured and some follow up thoughts.

• Feminization.  I begged for more and more feminization and I believe Mistress will enforce it.  Failure to either follow instructions or self feminize myself will be dealt with harshly.  I hope.
• This post https://missbossybitchsboy.blogspot.com/2017/08/enroute.html caused Mistress to comment on it last night.  I imagine coming home to an outfit by the door as soon as I enter the house.  Or a butt plug, chastity device, restraints, or certain notes.  I can't even enter the house without following the instructions first.  So hot!
• Harsher treatment.  Mistress was pretty mean last night with her actions as well as her comments.  I would like to be able to say I was scared or taken back by it, but I wasn't.  I am absolutely enthralled by it.  I begged to be treated as harshly as possible.  The thought of actually safe-wording or begging for less harsh treatment makes my cock hard.  If Mistress can get me to dread something in the D/s realm, she will have done something I didn't think could be accomplished.
• Scent training.  My perfume is working well.  I also begged Mistress to scent train me in other ways.  I imagine being restrained and having her socks or panties after she works out being put into my mouth and over my nose.  I can't explain why, but the idea turns me on so much.
• Order.  Being ordered to do things.  Being made to wake up to make Mistress her coffee.  Being made to change outfits throughout the day.  Being told to fetch items upstairs, not because Mistress is lazy, but to keep me obeying without question.
• The cage.  I get the feeling I will be experiencing the cage again soon.  Mistress seems to like it and I can't argue with its effectiveness, especially when combined with other items (straight jacket, heels, bondage, etc.)
• Chastity - More of it.
• Shocking collar.  I mentioned using it and Mistress seemed to agree in another context.  The thought makes me shudder.
• Challenges.  I am dreaming of Mistress making me do things with the sole intent of trying to get me to say 'no' and then punishing me for saying no.  

  In closing, Mistress has me so worked up with how she treated me last night and her comments make me hope for most of what she said to come true.  That would be heavenly.

On the road

I'm currently on the road for work.  Mistress made sure to keep me in check.  I have my toenails painted pink and I am in a nighty.  She also gave me permission to edge, but not cum.

Before I left home I downloaded some videos to a flash drive to play on my personal PC. I picked out a video figuring I would edge a bit before going to bed.  What I found was that the text on the video got me so wound up that I wanted to cheat and cum.  Instead I decided to divert my energy to a blog post and use it to keep me wanting to be a horny little slut that purposely denies my own orgasms.

Here are some screen captures of the video and the words that got me so wound up.

True...

She took a good long time to milk his prostate with a prostate toy.  This technique definitely works, you just have to be patient.  There is no joy in it from the submissive's perspective.  He is drained without even coming close to orgasm.

I clearly have the feminization trigger. 

Nothing like sucking on a big dildo. Check out those eyelashes.

I love the last sentence.  I so want to be degraded in a way that would make Mistress happy.

A high heel in the ass.

I think prostate milking is even worse since there is no pleasure.  At least with a ruined orgasm you get close to orgasm.

As soon as she gets a bit of cum to come out, she stops edging him and then twists and squeezes his balls draining them of cum.  The pain looks terrible, but effective.  He wishes he didn't leak.

Me wanting to cum so bad, but wanting to deny myself even more.  I love having my toenails painted.  I have to be very careful this time of year to not get caught.

Thoughts of torturous orgasms

For a guy that is trying to set a personal orgasm free record I am surprised on today's fascination with ruined orgasms along with post orgasm torture.  One down side to long term denial is the eventual orgasm isn't as good as one every few days.  

There are several ways that I find arousing.  The best one is a long slow tease.  Without even getting close to the edge.  Going mad because even the feeling of orgasm is so far away.  After a sufficient amount of time, some edging.  

I can't say for sure as I don't remember, but it seems the best torture is to be edged close enough to the edge but with zero intention of allowing an orgasms.  Working my cock time and again until I end up dripping several seconds after Mistress stops stimulating my cock.  The goal being that I leak several times with never approaching orgasm until I am completely drained.  

The next worst would be similar to above, but eventually allowing an orgasm, but with us both knowing that when I do orgasms, the stimulation will not stop, no matter how much I scream and beg.  I love to think that Mistress could force a 2nd orgasm to torture me again.

Now I know I would hate either one of these.  The first I would hate the most as I wouldn't even get the pleasure of an orgasm.  I am guessing it's also the way I would be ramped up the soonest afterward.  

Having zero control over how Mistress would drain me is the only reason I find this concept so hot.  Knowing that my orgasm would suck would be such a mind fuck.  

I also believe that either option would necessitate the use of a chastity device for a few days afterward.  I don't think I could resist the desire for a real orgasm until my libido got built back up.  In addition to removing the desire to cheat, it would also make me hornier faster.

Here are some videos of ruined and tortured orgasms.

Maitresse Madeline Compilation

https://xhamster.com/movies/7376911/handjob_ruination.html

The best one ever

https://xhamster.com/movies/2775417/amber_rayne_femdom_handjob_ruined_orgasm.html

https://hcbdsm.com/video/ruined-orgasm-with-post-orgasm-torture-6881.html

http://www.xtube.com/video-watch/Absboi-intense-edging-and-cum-explosion-27289371

https://xhamster.com/movies/2737244/milked_from_behind.html

https://xhamster.com/movies/2644448/heavy_tied_in_plastic_to_post_orgasm_hj.html

https://hcbdsm.com/video/post-orgasm-torture-8712.html

https://xhamster.com/movies/6710740/5_orgasms_from_handjob_post_orgasm_torture.html

https://xhamster.com/movies/2635591/heavy_tied_9_mn_post_orgasm_handjob.html

https://xhamster.com/movies/3390799/handjob_on_tied_guy_with_post_orgasm_torture.html

Mindfuck

mindfuck - mind·fuck: noun
An experience that causes intense and usually disturbing emotion, such as shock, confusion, or fear.

Lately I have been thinking about the mental aspect of what we do.  While a lot of what we do is physical, the brain is where the real action happens.

I have been spending a lot of time recently thinking of all the ways the mind is affected by the activities we participate in.  I believe the definition above can be expanded.  It doesn't have to be "intense" as you can have different degrees of it.  It can also include embarrassment and humiliation.  Here are some of the things I consider to be mindfuck material.

• Dressing up in feminine clothes.  Even though I am getting somewhat used to it, having to pick out an outfit everyday and then wear it for hours at a time definitely messes with my mind.  Thinking about how society in general would react to what I am doing is where my mind spends most of the time thinking about it.  Being dressed in front of Mistress ramps up the mindfuck aspect.

• Wearing perfume.  This has had a much greater effect on me than I expected.  Many mornings I am barely in a mood to be feminine, and within seconds of putting on my perfume, my mind switches.  The smell hits something in my brain and I instantly want to be more feminine.

• Nail polish.  Seeing my toenails painted is just a constant reminder of my place.  Wearing clear polish on my nails is more of a mindfuck as I am afraid someone will notice.  I am also amazed that I can feel the polish.  So it's not only visual, I can feel it too.  I am very aware of my hands when I am talking to others. 

• Chastity.  Having my cock locked is certainly a mindfuck, but it doesn't meet the definition above.  There is no shock, confusion, fear or embarrassment.  I'm not sure what the definition would be in a word or two.  Not being able to access one of the most pleasurable parts on my body and to give that access to another person is a huge mindfuck.  Going about my day to day and having to endure with no end in sight is very much a mindfuck.

• The cage.  Being a grown man, reduced to being locked in a cage is unreal.  The helplessness and boredom are mentally draining. There is simply no denying that I have become a desperate slave to my Mistress.  I realize I am willing to do anything to feel under her control.

• Electricity.  Whether it's the shocking dog collar, the Tazapper, or the TENS unit, I am scared of electricity.  It is easily my biggest fear.  When I watch videos of people playing with cattle prods, I get nervously aroused.  The arousal is from the amount of control being lost, but the fear is very real due to the electricity part of it.  It triggers a fight or flight response in me.

• Public Play.  If electricity is my biggest fear, playing in public is my next biggest fear.  I used to be terrible.  When younger I would go with my ex to a sex shop to buy something D/s related.   I was pretty much in a fight or flight response the entire time.  I was always worried what someone would think of me.  Even going to fetish events, I am sooo out of my comfort zone.  Now to be fair, I spend a good deal of time fantasizing about being dressed in public.  THe thought of being forced to walk across a parking lot, going through a drive through or pumping gas while dressed as a woman is a huge turn on.  In reality I would be so freaked out I don't know how I would respond.  Yes, this is a huge mindfuck.

• Pain.  Taking pain in all of it's many forms is certainly a mindfuck.  Having a safeword and choosing not to use it is on form.  I still think of using my safeword and having it ignored for a period of time.

• Orgasm denial.  When Mistress uses me just for her pleasure has to be one of my favorte mind fucks.  My body and brain thinks I am going to get to cum, and when she tells me she is done with me and I haven't cum, my mind and body revolt a bit.  When Mistress has me tied down and edges me over and over I am overwhelmed with desire.  

• Ruined orgasms.  Even more effective with orgasm denial.  When I'm finally allowed to cum, but Mistress stops just when the ejaculation starts, but the orgasm never quite gets there.  It's maddening.  The plus side is I keep me from having post orgasm drop.

• Mistress talking about including others in our play.  I much prefer the thought of a woman, but when Mistress talks about including a man (with her or me), it truly messes with my mind.  

• Sensory deprivation.  Being blindfolded makes the other senses increase to compensate.  Add the fear factor of not knowing what is going on and you have a good minsfuck to work with.  Add some earphones with white noise and you have taken away another sense.  Being tied up and not only helpless, but blind to what will happen really raises the stakes.

• Cum eating.  It doesn't matter how it's done.  When I have to eat my own cum I really have to dig deep and overcome the disgust I feel for it.  It is a mindfuck every time Mistress makes me do it.  That being said, I constantly dream up ways to make it more disgusting for me.  I'm a bit sick in the head.

• Breath Play.  This is a true mindfuck even if you like it because the brain is directly affected by lack of oxygen.  If breath play is taken far enough, your natural instincts kick in and you will react whether you want to or not.  I like all forms of breath play, but I like a plastic bag over the head the most.  Dragging out the feeling over a longer period of time is so hot to me.  Having the fight or flight response kick in is a huge turn on.

• My favorite mindfuck?  Predicament bondage.  Having to decide between to different painful or difficult situations is pure and total mental abuse.  You have to decide your own fate.  Time is your enemy.  Here are just a few examples.

In closing, while I like the physical aspects of bondage, the real effect is what happens in my submissive little brain.  

Used the way I should be

Yesterday Mistress finally used her sex slave the way he should be used.  The focus was on her and her orgasms.  We started with me on top inside of Mistress.  It had been 4 weeks since I had been inside her so I was ready to cum after about 90 seconds when Mistress had her first orgasm.  For Mistress' next orgasm I had to use my fingers inside her.  Mistress had me kneel by her side so she could stroke my cock while I fingered her.

Mistress had a couple more orgasms and she could barely stroke me 10 or so times before I was pulling away from her expert hand.  I put my cock back inside her and begged her not to let make me orgasm.  I told her how I want to denied orgsms for so long that I agree to do the most debased things she can think of.  How I want to be overwhelmed with desire and be used and abused.

Mistress had me get the Hitachi and she started playing with herself.  She told me to stop touching her and to stroke my cock.  I was warned that any cum that escapes my cock needed to be licked up.  Well that did it and I had a couple teaspoons drip out.  I quickly scooped them up with my fingers and went back to stroking.  I could only manage about 6 strokes each time before I had to stop myself.  Mistress alternated between giving herself orgams and having me do it.  Then Mistress started talking about bringing another woman into the bedroom.  I moaned.  She tentatively started to mention bringing a man in and I told her I was now at a place in our relationship where she could start teasing and talking about bringing a man into our world.  Mistress mentioned a guy sucking my cock, and then having me suck him off instead. This is still a hard limit for me, but I see no harm in bringing the discussion into our world if for no other reason than to push buttons.   Maybe someday my stance will change.

I pulled my hand away from my cock to avoid getting too close to the edge.  Within seconds I felt a pulse and before I know it my cock was dripping cum.  Then cum was boiling out of my cock and down the shaft.  A lot of cum.  I reached down and started scooping the cum into my mouth.  It took several attempts to get it all.  Overall it wasn't too bad but a couple globs made me think twice about what I was doing.  I think I can be safe saying that it's the most cum I have ever eaten - so far.  After I cooled down a bit I put my cock back inside Mistress and fucked her trying to get myself close to orgasm.  At this point my body and subconscious mind wanted an orgasm even if my submissive mind didn't want one.  But it didn't happen. I came too much to have an orgasm.  I could have kept fucking Mistress, but our room got too hot and Mistress was worn out from many gushing orgasms.  At the time I denied it, but now I can say for sure I had a ruined orgasm.  I don't think I could have made it any more ruined if I tried.

I got up and got dressed in some women's clothes.  For the next few hours I had that common let down from cumming.  I was feeling insecure and felt "off".  However it didn't last long.  Being forced back into my feminine role immediately was the best thing I could have done.  By bedtime I was getting my desperation back.  I picked out a nighty I never pick for myself as it has padded inserts.  I was ready to be back to a sissy slut.  I fell asleep replaying the day in my mind.  I relished the idea of Mistress using me the way she did with no guilt.  I thought about us doing this more frequently so that I can be trained to please her better and trained to hold back better.  I smiled as I thought about how eagerly I cleaned up my cum and how good it made me feel obey her unconditionally.

By morning I woke up with a massive hard on.  Whatever drop I had last night is long gone.  I was excited to get up and put on my feminine work out clothes.  I am working from home today and am feeling particularly naughty.  As I play back yesterday in my mind, I wouldn't change a thing except maybe not ruining my orgasm. I get turned on thinking about how I am a cum swallowing, sissy slave for my Mistress.  A slut to be used and abused for her pleasure.  I am in my happy place.  

I thought it would never stop

A different take on "ruined orgasms"

Here is the 2nd post I saw that intrigued the heck out of me.  The term "ruined orgasm" is always something I have taken to mean as less pleasurable.  I have posted in the past about how there is a good reason to use a ruined orgasms to keep the post orgasm let down to a minimum so that the male submissive is aroused sooner.  This woman takes the concept to the next level.  She uses ruined orgasms to immediately use her man.  Here is a good synopsis in her words.

Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to go limp and enter what doctors call the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated to have sex.

But that’s not all.  It also relaxes the urgent release channels, in his brain, temporarily raising his tolerance for sexual pleasure and increasing his stamina.  Simply put… a man who’s been ruined once or twice (or more!) in a single night can fuck you harder and longer than you ever thought possible.  He can fuck (or get fucked) continuously, relentlessly, at full intensity until you’ve had as many orgasms as you want and you’re both thoroughly exhausted.  Go ahead, get sweaty!  Let him wreck you!  Flip him and ride him to your heart’s content!  He will stay rock-hard the entire time, and he won’t cum!  Or, if he does cum, it will only be after a long, intense lovemaking session, far beyond his normal, natural physical capacity.  It’s fucking AWESOME!  Some of the best sex you will ever have!

I have experienced this myself a few times.  It usually when I am inside Mistress and I leak a bit.  The need to cum is reduced and I can then go forever.  It feels good (not as good as a full orgasm) and when I do eventually go over the top it's stronger.  It's hard to stop at just the right time.  The other time I experience it is when I am edging.  Sometimes I stop and 30 seconds later cum oozes out. I lick up my own cum because I haven't had a full orgasm and the horniness is still there.  If I went over the edge, I can't imagine freely eating my own cum.  I then stop as I don't trust myself to be able to stop like that again.  There is a huge benefit being tied up as Mistress can more effectively stop than I can.  I would define this as a minimized orgasm in order to have a fuller orgasm.  It's the closest a guy can be to multi-orgasmic.

There is much, much more to her technique which can be read here   http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com/post/145637171302/the-ruined-orgasm

Breaking him erotically

I ran across a Tumblr blog that had a couple really good posts.  The first one is about a Mistress breaking her slave, but instead of doing it with pain, she did it with weeks of teasing and denial.  To quote her "A month and a half ago, my amazing, sexy husband agreed to three months of constant tease and denial, without release.  Since then, almost every night, 7 nights a week (and sometimes in the morning, too!), we work together to make me cum as much as I want, then I edge him intensely, over and over again, to my heart’s content."   

The thought of being mercilessly tied, teased and denied for days and weeks on end turns me on and it also scares me.  I can only imagine the things I would be willing to do just for the chance to cum.  The idea of giving Mistress dozens if not hundreds of orgasms while at the same time I would get none is something that excites me greatly. As much as it disappoints me, there is something very powerful when Mistress tells me "no" when I ask to cum.

The entire post can be seen here http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com/post/144465521427/break-him-carefully-halfway-there-a-month-and-a

After I wrote that, I found another couple doing it http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com/post/142086842407/saw-you-post-and-note-about-three-months-of

Post Orgasm Torture

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