The Submissive Paradox

I have learned a lot about my submissive side over the last 10 months.  Here is where I have failed over the last 30+ years of being a submissive. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.  That's a problem if one wants to be in a true female-led relationship  The only one that should be able to have cake and eat it, is Mistress. The slave gets only what Mistress wants the slave to have.  I tried to make it about me more than her.

This leads me to what Mistress Scarlet https://msscarletuk.wordpress.com/ calls the Submissive Paradox.  Here is the absolute best explanation that I have finally (after 35 years) come to understand and accept.  I underlined the sections that really speak to me

‘If you love your submissive and you wish to be kind to your submissive and have him sleep the most sound and contented sleep they can ever know, then the saying -‘you have to be cruel to be kind’, is the mantra by which you must live. 

The deeply submissive is a paradox. They need to feel helplessly in the control of another. That entails feeling that they are treated unfairly when it comes to things like the allocation of chores and leisure time. It means they have to be genuinely very fearful and frightened of the punishments that are given in response to infractions. It also means they have to be subjected to pain and humiliation that they do not enjoy. It is only when they are genuinely fearful of punishment for infractions and when they suffer pain and humiliation and unfairness they genuinely would rather not experience, that they feel truly controlled and in the helpless power of another. And without feeling truly controlled and in the helpless power of another, they can NEVER be wholly content with their lives. 

So real love and kindness for a true submissive does not mean going easy on them in any way, or being fair with them – that causes discontent and unhappiness and is not being kind.

In turn, the dominant woman is hooked on the addictive and arousing drug of using and abusing real power, over her male.

That's the paradox. Being cruel is being nice.  That doesn't mean 24/7 whip-wielding. Mistress can be nice, kind, and helpful when she wants to be, but also needs to be truly cruel for the submissive to feel loved and contented. Also, being cruel in a way the submissive wants is counter-productive.  This has been my problem for years. Wanting to be dominated my way and not realizing it didn't work for Mistress means it really wasn't working for me.  Here are some day-to-day examples of the paradox when I think of how it affects me.

Orgasm Control - I want to cum when I want to cum. When Mistress controls and denies my orgasms, I don't really like it. Unfortunately, that's when I get immensely turned on.  Being submissive means that the more my orgasms are controlled the more I am in awe of Mistress.  Orgasm control doesn't necessarily mean denial, it just means that I don't have a say in it.  On the flip side, being forced to orgasm multiple times until it's impossible to cum is another form of control.

Chastity - Chastity isn't just about orgasm control, it's about total control.  Being locked and having Mistress mostly ignore it shouldn't be arousing, but it is.  This is especially true now with my new perspective and I can see being locked 99.9% of the time for the rest of my life.  If I ever ask or beg to be unlocked, denying that request seems cruel but it's not. It’s kind based on the Submissive Paradox.  I am pretty good on the honor system, but not good enough.  

Chores - Chores have to be done.  That's what happens in relationships. Many would say that equal distribution of chores is necessary for a healthy relationship.  The Submissive Paradox says otherwise. The more unequal the chores are, the better it is for the Mistress/Slave dynamic.  Don't misunderstand this.  I don't want to do more chores and I don't enjoy them, but something happens inside my brain when Mistress makes me do chores. The idea of an endless list of chores is overwhelming and therefore powerful. Making the chores more difficult or humiliating makes them worse and therefore makes it better.   

Personal Service - In this relationship, Mistress should think of herself as a ruler of her kingdom (like Cleopatra) and me as just one of her lowly slaves. Waking Mistress up as she wishes to be woken.  Coffee service in the morning (me handing it to her).  Holding doors. Pedicures at her feet. Turning down her bed in the evening. Serving her drinks during the day. Fetching things for her that she could easily get for herself, but increases the dynamic.  The list of personal services is never-ending and I should be doing as many as Mistress wishes.

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Feminization - The only hair on my body are my eyebrows.  I wear a nighty every night. Most nights I am good with it, but some nights I feel silly and not manly.  It's these nights where the nighty is the most powerful.  Wearing panties is the same story.  I used to occasionally wear female deodorant and now it's all I ever wear.  Nail polish is one of those things that can’t be removed easily and is a constant reminder. All of these things create some level of humiliation which again, explains the Submissive Paradox.  Mistress recently threatened me with feminization while I clean and that makes me blush with shame but also makes me in awe of her for making me endure it.  The more feminization I endure the less in control I am and the more  I want to obey. 

Punishment - It's been a very long time since I have been punished.  Also, I don't know that I have ever been truly punished by Mistress (other than stopping D/s activities).  Without the Submissive Paradox, a true and proper beating seems abusive.  With the Submissive Paradox, a beating where I am truly begging for it to end and fearing it ever being repeated would be deeply effective and arousing.  I don’t want to be punished but I want to truly fear Mistress so that I have no choice but to obey. Punishment doesn’t have to be a beating either. Removal of privileges. Punishments you’d give a child or teenager.  The list is extensive.

Mind-Fuckery - The Submissive Paradox really shines here. Fucking with a slaves mind just for the sake of it. Taking something that they find pleasurable and making it unpleasurable. Pushing them slighly further than they think they can take. Punishing for absolutely no reason. Turning a funishment into a punishment.  Making him do a chore over that he just did. Creating a task that serves no purpose other than to fuck with the submissive. Leaving a mess just to have the slave clean it up. I think of it as bullying. Having to suck it up while being treated unfairly would suck, but it would also push all sorts of buttons inside me.  Again, it’s the Submissive Paradox.

I’d love your opinion on this post.  As a submissive do you feel the same way?  As a dominant, does it make sense?  If you’re vanilla and somehow reading this, what are your thoughts?e

Sissy Service

It was a Tuesday night and we were watching TV like we usually do when Mistress hit the pause button. 

She said “I have a surprise for you this Saturday and you know I can’t keep a surprise to myself, so I’m going to tell you now.  But before I do I want you to go put your chastity device.  Once you know what the surprise is you won’t be able to keep your hands off your little cock.”

I was shocked. It’s been along time since mistress talked to me this way. There was no way I wasn’t going to obey. I went and grabbed my most secure chastity device and put it on. I came back to the sofa and handed mistress the key.

She said, “wow, you’re really a desperate little slut aren’t you?”  I blushed and said “yes, Mistress”.

“This Saturday, we’re going to get up and walk the dog like we normally do. When we get back I’m going to go get ready while you make the dog’s breakfast. You will not be eating breakfast or lunch today. Once I’m ready I’m going to Starbucks for breakfast and to read. At 11 o’clock I have a pedicure and manicure appointment. After that I’m going to lunch and have a couple glasses of wine.  I’ll be gone 4-5 hours.”

“While I’m gone you will put your prostate massager in your tight ass. You’ll then put on your heavy steel collar. Then I want you to put on one of your bodysuits.  After that, spray 2 sprays of your slutty perfume on your chest, neck and wrists so the scent is penetrating your brain all day.”

“Once you are all prepared in your sissy uniform you will clean the entire house from top to bottom.  I want the floors vacuumed and scrubbed. I want the sinks and toilet so clean you can eat off them. I want the shower glass and all the mirrors spotless.  Every surface in the house better sparks. I don’t want to find one speck of dust.”

“If you do a good job I’ll let you kneel on the floor and use lotion to massage my newly manicured feet while I read. If you do a poor job you’ll stand nose against the wall holding up a pair of your dirty panties with your nose for an hour and then you’ll correct your mistakes while I supervise.”

“While I’m gone I want you to think about what you’ve become. So desperate for attention that you’ll do absolutely anything I say just to be my sissy servant while I go out and pamper myself.  This isn’t going to be a one time thing either.  We both know you NEED to be treated this way.  This is a great way for me to have more me time, for your submissive brain to be fed and for us to have a clean home.”  

“Well sissy, tell me what you think”. 

I reply, “Mistress you are absolutely correct. I do need this. The more strict you are with me, the more I am under your spell. I hate to admit it but this, but your cruelty and harshness soothes my soul in a way I can’t describe. I can’t wait for this Saturday to come.  Not because I want to spend the day cleaning, but because I don’t want to do that and you’re making me do it. I want to not only make you proud of my cleaning but my willingness to serve you without question.  My goal is to earn more and more harsh treatment.”

I spend the rest of the week straining in my chastity cage. Sleep is difficult because of all of the thoughts that are running through my head.  Mistress teases me and keeps reminding me of Sissy Saturday. Will mistress actually do this to me? I shudder thinking about the possibilities. It truly is the paradox of the submissive male  

The Cuckold Threat

 It’s been nearly a year since I’ve posted anything. Between running a company and traveling extensively there hasn’t been any D/S in my life in quite some time. It’s only very occasional where I lock myself in chastity, wear my steel cock ring, wear panties or put clothes pins on my nipples.  That being said I had a dream the other night that won’t leave my brain. I wanted to preserve it here as it’s still got me worked up. The dream wasn’t as elaborate as what I’m about to write but I’ve since had time to embellish it.  Here we go.

I dreamt that Mistress and I were in bed having standard missionary type sex. My cock buried deep inside her pussy while I try to get her to cum while keeping myself far enough from the edge to make sure she cums before I do. 

Usually during this time Mistress will say that she knows will push my buttons while twists my nipples, this make it VERY difficult for me to not get too close to the edge of cumming.  In my dream Mistress and I are having our usual hot talk when she says, “I’m going to start reinstating the rules, tasks and requirement I used to have for you”.  I lived for the days when I had a list of expectations that had to be followed so this quickly got my attention.

She continued, “This time however, I am going to ensure that you have real consequences for not meeting my demands”.  Oh my goodness. This is sounding like way more than our normal pillow talk.  She adds “In the past you’d weasel your way out of doing things you didn’t like in the hope of me punishing you in a way you wanted to be punished. This just created extra work for me to meet your kinky desires and didn’t benefit me in any way.”  

Now this has me even closer to the edge. This is some serious talk. I’ve always wanted our kinky life to get pushed past games and take on a more serious and lasting dynamic.  These comments got me nervously closer to the edge. 

Mistress proceeded to pick up her phone and show me a screen with a grid of pictures of men.  “Moving forward, when you don’t meet my expectations or do what you’ve agreed to do, I am going to use this dating app to find a man in whatever location we are in to go out on a date.”  I stop moving my hips. We’ve never talked about an open relationship and I have a hard limit of her seeing other men. 

Mistress then drops the phone and grabs my nipples. She wraps her legs around me and clenches her pussy against my cock that is already close to the edge. She says, “if you agree to my terms I want you to cum now”. My mind is spinning. No, I don’t want this. I want my kink, my way. I can be jealous and insecure. However, the control aspect is incredibly arousing, and to think we’d be moving back to a more Female Led Relationship has my curiosity peaked. 

Before I know it, I realize I’m cumming. I haven’t moved a muscle.  Mistress expertly twists my nipples and uses her pussy to take me over the edge. I start loudly mumbling, “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooooo” as I pump loads of cum into Mistress I realize I’m having a ruined orgasm and that my fate is sealed. I argue that my orgasm was a mistake and that I didn’t intend to agree to her terms. She said, “some part of your subconscious wanted you to cum and we both know we need to feed your subconscious little brain what it needs.  Now rule number one is that every time you cum, you need to eat all of your cum. Get to work cleaning me up or I’ll be going on a date tonight.”  Mistress releases her legs from their lock on my hips and I slowly move my face down her body to clean up my disgusting cum.

The dream ended at this point but my lizard brain hasn’t stopped there. I keep thinking about how this would look in reality. I imagine a list of rules. 

1. Clean up your cum every time you cum. 

2. You must initiate sex at least once a week. If I say, no, you will ask for permission to cum. If I say that you may you will proceed to strip and masturbate onto a plate. See rule #1.  

3.  You will go back to wearing feminine attire at night in bed.

4.  You will have my coffee ready to go the night before.

5.  You will get up with the dog every day. 

6.  You will be plugged 7 hours a week.  You decide how the 7 hours work (all at once or an hour a day, etc)

7.  You will do all dishes.

8.  You will request permission for every alcoholic beverage you wish to drink.  Expect to have this heavily controlled.

9.  You will request permission for any snack food you wish. 

10. You will wear panties every non travel day.  You will not wear them when we will see people we know. 

11.  Fingernails and toenails will be polished clear at all times unless another color is assigned.

12. You will wear your collar 24/7

13. You will go into chastity after every orgasm until I release you. I know how much you hate this, but it does get your mind in the right space faster. 

14.  You will address me as Mistress, Goddess, Queen, etc in private.

15.  You will never ask about my dates.

16.  You will drop me off and pick me up from my dates.

17.  You may not sleep when I am on a date. I want you to contemplate your station in life every time I’m out.

18.

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If you’ve made it this far I’d love it if you’d add additional rules that you think should be included. Extra points for rules that benefit Mistress without hitting my kink buttons.  Comments are always appreciated. 

Nectar of my Goddess

Lately I’ve been fantasizing a lot about Mistress and her piss.  There is no reason for this as I think piss is disgusting. Or maybe that is the reason. It’s not about her piss, it’s about her doing something so degrading and taboo to me.  We just stayed in a hotel that had a large in-room bath tub. It had a safety handle on the side that would have been perfect to have my ankles tied to so that I couldn’t jump up to save myself from her pungent onslaught. I imagine my hands being tied to my side or behind my back.  I imagined a ring gag or some other way to force my mouth to stay open.  Mistress would either stand or squat over my open mouth and start verbally teasing me.  Asking me how much I wanted this. I’d tell her I didn’t as much as I could through the gag.  She’s ask why my cock was so hard then. She’d tease me about making this a regular occurrence unless I shaped up. Eventually she would release large gushes of urine over my face, stopping several times to prolong my humiliation.  Her smelly piss would go into my nostrils, eyes and ears.  I’d end up drinking about half of her piss and the rest would pool coldly around my body as she closed the tub drain before we started. Mistress would then proceed to get dressed and walk out of the hotel room tell me me she’ll be back when it’s time for her to relieve herself again. “You’re going to be my piss whore for the day or longer if you’re lucky” she’d say as the door slammed behind there.  

I’d sit there in my humiliation, with my hard cock straining, wishing I wasn’t such a submissive slut willing to endure more and more humiliation just to satisfy a very secret part of my soul. 

Reflection

This morning I woke up, fantasizing about getting a birthday beating. I started thinking about how much it’s going to hurt. I realize that if done the way I am begging for,  I’ll have bruises for a week, it will hurt to sit down for several days and it will take me past my limit.

I’ve also been fantasizing a great deal about Mistress getting stricter with me. Making sure I always have something feminine about me.  Punishing me for talking back,  being disrespectful or failing at tasks that need to be done. Pushing my submissive buttons to manipulate my behavior in a way that favors her.

Why do I want to be hurt?  Why do I want to wear uncomfortable panties and other clothes, or nighties that are difficult to sleep in?  Why do I year to suffer at the hands of my Mistress? 

I truly believe that I need to have control taken away from me. Being tied down and beaten harder than ever isn’t about being beaten.  While I am certainly sexualizing it, I know that the eroticism will quickly go away and I’ll have to deal with non-erotic pain. It’s deeper than a sexual fantasy, it’s psychologically driven. It’s about relinquishing all control to the woman I love with all of my heart.  It’s about me making myself vulnerable to her. Being tied down will force me to remain vulnerable while I try to stop the inevitable.  Being physically hurt will break down my domineering and controlling walls.  I need to be taken down a peg.  I need to be less in control. I’m not good at it. I need to serve my Wife and my Mistress. She’s my everything and me trying to be the boss or have things my way just doesn’t work very well.

Rarely do I give much thought to the why of my fantasies. For the last few weeks I’ve been fantasizing about the sexual aspects of this, but usually, that fades away. The fact I am still so focused on it has made me examine where this need is coming from.  I’m surprised by the results of my self-examination.  I want to serve.

Last night

Mistress and I had a very busy and stressful week.  Something happened this week that in the past, I would have been asked to be let out of chastity.  It seems a little silly to be wearing a chastity device when life gets super serious and you have to deal with it.  I didn't ask to be released.  I wanted to prove to myself that I am committed to being in a chastity device 24/7/365.  Staying locked up when things seemed to be too difficult to handle has made me a stronger submissive.  I was able to remove a potential excuse from future discussions.  If I could stay locked up this week, I can stay locked up through almost anything. I am proud of myself for toughing it out.

Last night Mistress unlocked me so that we could have sex.  It's the first time since Jan 18th that Mistress has used me for her pleasure.  It's the first time in a month that Mistress has allowed my her cock to enter her wonderful pussy.  I wasn't as sensitive as I would have guessed, but I was still far too sensitive to be able to give Mistress an orgasm with my her cock.  I had to use my fingers to give her a few nice squirting orgasms in between me edging myself inside of her.  During one of these edges I got a bit too close to the edge of cumming.  I pulled out and Mistress felt a bit of cum squirt on her.  I think it was around a teaspoon and she thinks it was more.  Nonetheless, Mistress had me clean what little bit of cum I had released with my tongue.  The fact that I woke up with painful blue balls this morning tells me that whatever cum leaked out was not enough to give me any satisfaction.  It was not enough to take even a hint of desperation out of me.

As we had sex we chatted.  Mistress told me to not even think about cumming.  Then later she told me she thought it was time to make me cum and lick it all up.  I begged and begged to not be made to cum.  As best as I can tell, Mistress is truly enjoying my lack of orgasms.  I think she likes that I am in such a state of submissiveness that I am begging to not cum vs begging for an orgasm. 

As we continued, I assured Mistress that I appreciate how she has gotten stricter with me.  I applauded her efforts of attempting to be meaner with me.  I told her how much I love being locked up in her presence.  How much I love the erotic humiliation of being dressed feminine in the house.  How badly I crave to be her little sissy bitch to be used however she wishes. In fact, I begged her to be as harsh with me as she can.  I want her to push me so hard, with the sole intent of making me lash out, so she has the perfect reason to punish me even more harshly.  I want to occasionally regret going down this path.  I want to have my fetishes used against me as a real mind fuck.  I want to truly suffer and question myself, but in a way that makes Mistress get off on my suffering. 

Regarding chastity, I know Mistress would rather have easy access to my cock, but we both know that 24/7 chastity is the only way I can fully resist temptation.  If she didn't re-lock me immediately after using me last night, I would be stroking my cock and edging myself as I write this.  I likely would have an accident that I wouldn't admit to.  I would have unintentionally cheated.  I know that chastity is a barrier, but I truly believe that it's a barrier that keeps our dynamic strong.

     
     

Adopting A Corporate Mindset

Last night Mistress expressed some insecurity about being more forceful and domineering.  Our professional lives keep changing and the breadwinner has recently been me.  I have been making some sacrifices recently that I know Mistress greatly appreciates, however it's making her try to accommodate me instead of making me serve her even more.  I get why it's happening and I hope things change so that she can feel confident in being cruel regardless of who is the breadwinner.  For many, many years Mistress has been the breadwinner and she was fine bossing me around.  Now I think she feels like she owes me something.  If anything I still owe her for making my life easier.

Mistress is a good manger and understands how important structure is in the professional world. She understands constant improvement, goal setting, measuring results, holding people accountable, rewarding good behavior and disciplining when appropriate.  I realized last night that it might help if we adopted those same principals to our D/s lifestyle.  It might help override her concerns about being more domineering over me.  Here's how.

An employee slave manual.

Job Description.

A D/s version of a business plan.

Dress code.

Weekly one-on-ones.

Daily huddle/caning.

Performance reviews - monthly and quarterly.

Being on call.

Reports.

Performance Improvement Plan.

Special Projects.

Thinking about many of these, I can see a way that formalizes what we both know I need and makes it matter-of-fact and necessary to my growth.  I'd like to think that this will make it easy for Mistress to realize it's my job to sacrifice and make her life easier, not the other way around.

 

   

Heading in the right direction

After many years of fits and starts I truly believe we are heading in a direction that will put me further and further under Mistress' control.  I'm very excited.

Since we both work from home now Mistress truly has the ability to control me 24/7 if she so chooses.  Gone are the days where she would head off to work and I would be able to do whatever I wanted.  I am incredibly excited about the direction this can go and hope that there is no turning back.

Last night as Mistress and I were about to get into bed, Mistress threw something on the bed.  I looked down and it was a pair of keys.  Mistress told me to remove my chastity device as she wanted to use her cock.  I went into the bathroom and removed my device and used a wet wash cloth to clean any scent from her cock.  I went back into the bedroom and Mistress was lying on a couple of towels and was playing with herself.  Almost as soon as I climbed back into bed, I got very hard and I was inside of Mistress almost instantly.  I thought for sure that I would be in the edge in no time, but I was able to go longer than I expected.  Even though I went longer than expected it still wasn't long enough to get Mistress off.  When I stopped to keep myself from cumming, Mistress had me use my fingers on her G-spot.  I teased and edged her a couple times before giving her an orgasm. 

After her orgasm she told me to put my cock inside her.  I did and as I got closer to the edge, Mistress asked me when my last orgasm was.  I told her that it was November 22nd or 8 weeks and 1 day.  I added that I was in chastity the entire time less 2 days.  Mistress told me that she felt it was time for me to have an orgasm.  I pathetically begged her to not make me cum and that I would to anything to avoid that fate.  I then told her flat out that I was going to refuse her order and accept any punishment she decided to dish out.  After a few minutes of her telling me to cum with my cock inside of her and me refusing, Mistress  told me to giver her another orgasm with my fingers.  This time I got her off in less than 30 seconds.  I then put my cock inside Mistress and after a few strokes she told me to stop.  I didn't.  She commanded me to stop a few more times before I relented.  She told me she was done with me and to lock myself back up.  I offered to give her another orgasm but she refused.

I went into the bathroom, washed my cock off again and locked myself back into chastity under Mistress' supervision.  Mistress hid the keys as I went back to bed.  When Mistress got back into bed, she teased my balls and told me to put the cane on her bathroom vanity when I got up in the morning.  She plans on caning me and she also plans on restraining me for it.  I asked her to not restrain me and see how much I am able to take, but she refused saying she didn't want to have to deal with me being unrestrained.

To be fair, her concern is warranted.  I believe that a proper beating requires restraints.  A fight or flight response will happen if she beats me the way I need to be beaten.  I need to be pushed past that point and the only way is with restraints.  There will be a point where I will get mad and if I am tied up there is nothing I can do about it.  I need to stay tied up until I have recovered from the anger and frustration and am back into my submissive mindset.  I'm not big on aftercare, but some tenderness and discussion while I am still tied up and recovering is the way I imagine being the most beneficial.  Being given a verbal reminder that I have asked for this a long time and I am finally getting the cruelty I have begged for, for so long.

As we drifted off to sleep I thanks Mistress for not making me cum.  I didn't want to be the guy that I am after an orgasm  I also assured Mistress again that I am very excited about where we are headed and that no matter what, I am hers to do with as she pleases.  I let her know that she doesn't need to worry about pushing me to hard or being too cruel.  No matter what she does to me I will take it.  I am here to serve, be her domestic slave, her sex slave, her sissy slave and do whatever she wishes.

Side note.  For whatever reason I can't think about a spanking without thinking of a pair of panties I have like these.  It seems like the perfect target as the butt is framed and exposed.  However, I have been reading about how important the spot where the thighs meet the butt is such a good punishment spot and these cover that spot. 

          

Used by Mistress

Last night, Mistress and I were lying in bed, chatting before falling asleep.  Mistress was teasing her cock in it's chastity device when she asked when I was last inside her.  I told her it was 4 weeks prior.  She continued to tease me while commenting on how she thinks it is best if I don't have an orgasm at least once a quarter.  If I went a whole year without an orgasm, would it make that much of a difference?  I mentioned how it might be hot to orgasm once a quarter, but when I am allowed to orgasm, I will be forced to orgasm many, many times.  Until I can't cum again.  Until I am squirming with tears in my eyes and begging to be locked be back up.  And then we would start the whole process over.

Found this hot quote

Mistress then told me to get a towel.  This usually means we are going to have sex and the towel is because she is a squirter.  I got 2 towels to be safe.  As I was getting the towels, Mistress made no moves to go get the key to my chastity device.  That's when I realized that this was going to be different.  I placed the towels underneath Mistress and she was now naked.  She told me to make her cum with my fingers.  I put my middle finger in Mistress' already wet pussy.  I quickly found her G-spot.  I slowly teased her as I didn't want her cumming too soon.  As I stroked her G-spot we continued to chat.  Mistress mentioned how I probably needed to spend some time in the cage, and as much as I dislike it, I told her she was right.  She told me that I have been a good boy and that's why I haven't been in the cage.  I suggested that an hour a week would be beneficial for us as it would reinforce the rules as well as our dynamic.  An hour a week to maintain my good-boy behavior.

I continued to stroke her G-spot, now with the intention of making her cum.  After a short while Mistress came with a mild squirt.  I thought for sure that she would have me continue, but she told me she was done with me.

This is the first time Mistress has done this and I found it to be incredibly hot.  Mistress had zero concern about my pleasure.  Not only did I continue to stay locked, I even kept my boxer briefs on.  Mistress didn't have to get the chastity key.  She didn't have to deal with me being on the edge too soon.  She didn't have to worry about me having an accidental release.  She didn't have to have my laying on top of her.  She was selfish and used me and I absolutely love it.  I am thrilled with where this can take us.  I love that my only job is to make sure she is pleased.  I love that I am here, only for her pleasure.  I love that Mistress can be sexually selfish.  I am in heaven this morning.