Mask Mischief

The whole coronavirus mask thing creates conflict in my brain. I don’t like wearing a mask but I understand it’s importance. Where the conflict arises is what happens in my brain. 

When I must do something I don’t want to do, I try to sexualize it in some way. Chores around the house, I sexualize it. Doctor and dentist appointments, I sexualize it. Wearing a mask is no different.  Here are some of the ways I envision turning mask wearing into a sexual event. 

Ball gag under a mask. I imagine wearing one of those neck gaiters so that the back of my head is covered.  It would be interesting to buy something at a store and not be able to converse with the clerk.

Here is another version.  A large penis shaped plug forced into the mouth, taped in and covered.  This one can be scarier since you can make the plug as large as you want.  The sheer terror of someone finding out.

My last fantasy has several variations.  The first it Mistress wearing my mask inside her panties for several hours.  Whenever we go out she pull my mask from her panties and makes me wear it. There would be her musky smell and traces of urine in the mask.  I would be in sub-space in no time.  

Other variation include having to wear my own mask in my pants and wear it so that I have to smell myself.  I also imagine Mistress taking a couple pairs of her dirty underwear and making me put one pair in my mouth and another pair over my nose before putting my mask on over my face.  Again my head would be spinning.  The final variation would be Mistress making me cum inside my mask or cleaning up after sex with my mask and having to wear it for several days.

All of these ideas makes wearing my mask a slightly more  tolerable.  Now if I just had the guts to tell her.  

Smothered Fantasies

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Perfume and Orgasm Denial

I am consistently amazed at what a spray of perfume can do to me.  This morning I woke up, not really in a mood for femininity.  That changed within a few seconds of me putting on my morning perfume.  I went from trying to figure out the least feminine thing I could get away with wearing to getting dressed up in something classy and sexy.  I had initially gone without a bra, but I went back upstairs to put one on.  As I was putting my bra on I fantasized about Mistress adding items to my attire on particular days.  Something to up the stakes and make me much more aware of my situation.  Deodorant, perfume, panties, bra, inserts, heels, stockings, corset, anklet, bracelet, wig, clip on earrings, feminine ring, mascara, lipstick, nail polish, temporary fake nails, choker, etc.  There is something very hot about being given specific instructions.

I made sure to do the dishes this morning, as I like the way I look and feel when I am doing chores while I am dressed up.

The other day we had a spill in the refrigerator and I had to clean it up before it spread.  It was certainly harder being fully dressed and in heels.  Add to that, Mistress was in the next room working on something, so it totally made me feel like a slave.

As this post started I am amazed at how well the perfume works.  I can smell it almost all day as it drifts from my chest into my nostrils.  Every time it does it scrambles my brain a bit.  It's certainly more potent in the morning when it mixes with the testosterone that has built up all night.  Just thinking of how powerful it is made me fantasize of being tied to the bed and having Mistress spray perfume into a cloth or a pair of panties and secure it over my nose for an extended period of time.  Or adding a spray of perfume into a plastic bag before some breath play.  Or having my clothes in the drawers and in the closet sprayed with perfume.  I can also imagine other scents being used for this type of domination.

Lastly, my last orgasm was 3.5 weeks away.  I am loving the build up of desire.  I want to make Mistress cum, and cum, and cum, all while I am teased and denied.  I want her to be absolutely spent and worn out.  My fear is Mistress will make me cum too soon and I have to start all over again.  I am so pliable when I am this way.  So needy.  So willing to do anything.  It's a great place to be.    

  

The power of scent

One of the biggest surprises I have had in recent years is understanding the power of a scent.  I knew that smells can bring back memories of a long time ago.  Every time I smell leaves in the fall, I am immediately reminded of walking home from school back in junior high over 30 years ago.  Fresh cut cedar takes me back to my first job also 30+ years ago.

That brings me to current time.  Mistress bought me some perfume before Christmas so that I could add it to my daily feminization.  Out of all the feminine things I do, wearing perfume has the strongest, most immediate impact on me.  I can have pretty much zero femme thoughts when I wake up, but one spray of perfume on my chest and my brain goes into feminine overdrive.  It makes me WANT to be more and more feminine.  It pretty much removes any desire I have of resisting feminization.  When I pick out my feminine clothes for the day, the perfume makes me want to choose sexier, sluttier or classier clothes.  No jeans and t-shirts, but skirts, dresses and uncomfortable high heels become my choice of attire.

I had been planning on writing this post for some time, but what triggered it today is a post and caption I saw online.

It wouldn’t take many nights like this, only being allowed to cum or even touch himself without the smell of her filling his nose, before the scent of her would become pleasure.

I often fantasize about Mistress doing this to me.  I love the idea of the panties being worn by her all day ending up on my face any time my cock received attention.  I love the idea of training my brain to make her worn panties an aphrodisiac.  To train me in such a way that I can't get off without her scent.  Some duct tape to keep me from breathing through my mouth and some worn panties or pantyhose stretched over my nostrils.  I would be in submissive heaven.

Or even worse, my own worn or cum stained panties or pantyhose.

Just thinking of being tied down, blindfolded, teased, denied, and tortured.  Having Mistress' scent fill my nostrils and my brain.  Just thinking of it makes my cock hard.

Writing this I am reminded of a blog where a Mistress used her dirty socks in this manner.  Even more devious, she made her slave get turned on whenever she took off her shoes.  http://wedlocked-femdom.com/2014/11/22/training-the-slave-to-become-aroused-by-a-smell/

In closing, scent is very powerful.  Much more powerful than I ever imagined it could be.  I am starting to fantasize about all the ways we can use different scents in a D/s way.  From adding perfume to my nightime routine or adding a pair of worn panties to my nostrils next time I am locked in the dog cage.  The idea of having shoes taped to my face or being forced to smell Mistress' socks to condition me, it's all very erotic to me.

    

Staying Submissive

It's been a couple weeks since my last post.  Last week Mistress and I went on vacation.  We had a great time but as the week wore on, and since our return, I have had a hard time staying in a submissive frame of mind.  My plans to wear panties every day changed as the heat and humidity made it less than desirable.  I spent most of the week in my male underwear.  I started out the week waking up in the morning and then going into the sitting room of our hotel in my nighty until Mistress got up.  Later in the week I was sick for a couple days.  I managed to wear my nighty until I got sick when Mistress gave me a reprieve for one night so I could focus on getting better.  The next night I purposely didn't wear a nighty as I was having a hard time staying in a submissive frame of mind.  The following morning Mistress called me on it.  As we were on vacation she didn't feel she could punish me at the time.  I feel fortunate that I didn't get punished at the time but I imagine there will be some payback coming soon enough.  I deserve it for sure.  My last couple nights I wore the nighty again as I didn't want to risk additional punishment.

On vacation we managed to have sex at least a few times.  Enough times that I forget how many times we did have sex.  I do remember being allowed to orgasm on the 31st.  What a way to end the year.  I also remember not being allowed to orgasm on the 1st, which I thought was a perfect start to the new year.  I was allowed a couple more orgams over the week which may be why I lost my submissive edge.  Too many orgasms.

This week we are back to our normal routines at home and work.  After over a week of not having to dress in women's clothes, I have had a hard time getting back into it.  I have slowly been ramping back up to where I was before we left.  Monday I was in capri jeans and a casual shirt with no shoes.  Tuesday a jean skirt, sweater and boots.  Yesterday, yoga pants and a pink pullover.  Finally, this morning I was ramped up and horny enough to dress much more feminine.  I am in a animal print blouse, black bra, black pencil skirt and my highest heels that I can walk in.  It's amazing how the more obviously feminine I dress, the more submissive I feel.  I am in quite the mood this morning.

This week is also the first time I have had to wear my new perfume to work.  Since Mistress bought it for me I have worn it every day.  It definitely has had an effect on me and I have grown to desire the scent.  It triggers my brain way more than I expected.  Wearing perfume at work is a new dynamic.  I am very, very aware of it.  It seems stronger than normal even though I am wearing the same amount.  It is definitely a mind fuck.  In my mind everyone knows I am wearing it and it's very feminine.  In reality, it's probably not as strong as I think it is and it's more unisex than I think it is.

In closing, it's good to be back.  Being in this state of mind is certainly my happy place.  While I can go quite a while as a much more dominant male, I am not as happy as I am as when I am submitting to my Mistress and her desire to see me feminized.  I love being under her control!                  

Waking Up Horny

I don't know if this is the same for other men or other submissive men, but when I wake up in the morning, I am at my peak horniess.  Studies show testosterone peaks in the morning which is what I believe causes me to be so worked up.  It's one of the reasons I like to write in the morning.  If I waited until late afternoon or evening, my posts would be much less explicit.

To add to my already aroused state Mistress said something that made my libido increase even more.  Tonight we have a planned date night.  She told me that before we leave on our date that I need to get the bedroom ready for a D/s session so that when we get home, everything is ready for her to have her way with me.  Needless to say I was instantly aroused.  Every time I woke up during the night my mind tried to guess what would happen to me.  I am very much looking forward to whatever she has planned.  Just thinking about it makes my cock struggle against my cock cage.  It's all I can to not write about all the thoughts running through my brain.

As I was falling asleep, I was planning my outfit for today.  I had planned on a casual skirt and an easy to wear blouse with flat boots.  Instead, I find myself in a red cocktail dress and black platform pumps.  My increased libido isn't letting me be casual, instead it's making me be more suggestive, to flaunt myself and to make my legs feel sexy even if my feet hurt a bit.  I feel so worked up and by having to dress feminine every day, my acceptance of it is increasing.

Lastly Mistress and I went perfume shopping yesterday.  Mistress tested several brands but kept going back to one she liked.  I was mortified shopping with her, thinking everyone in the store knew it was for me.  It's insane that I would think that, but that's what my brain does when I do things in public.  The concept of public play excites me, but it also terrifies me.  She picked out an expensive name brand perfume.  She sprayed one squirt on my neck yesterday after we left the store.  The scent stayed with me all night until bedtime.  First thing this morning I put on another squirt before getting dressed.  Mistress and I agreed that I need to wear this for the next 4-5 days if not indefinitely.  As I sit here writing this post, I can smell the perfume.  I believe that very soon this scent will trigger a sexual response whenever I smell it as it will be tied to me dressing feminine and/or tied to D/s experiences.  I imagine this scent in all of the drawers where my feminine clothes are kept, my closet as well the sheets on my side of the bed, so I can't escape it.  I imagine forgetting to wear it one day and being punished for it.  I am now one step deeper into my feminization and many steps further than I ever thought I would go.        

Controlling

Mornings are usually when I am at my horniest.  Science says there is a surge of testosterone in the morning.  While I am sure that's true, I also think sleeping in something in something that focuses on my submissive side helps.  So does having ideas running through your mind.  In the hour or so before I got out of bed at 6 this morning, I had tons of thoughts going through my head.  1st, I knew as soon as I got up I would be locking myself in chastity per Mistress's orders.  Then I would replay scenarios in my head.  The one that ruled my morning was different ways of removing control from a submissive.  As a "grown ass man" with free will and such, it's very powerful to take things away from me or to force coerce me to do things other men don't have to do.

Things I currently do.

• Shave my entire body, including my armpits.  The armpit is still a tough one for me especially in the summer.  That being said, I certainly feel owned and feminized by it.
• Wear nighties or other feminine attire every night.  I used to let this slide, but Mistress's threats of caging me have changed that.
• Chastity
• Painted toenails in the winter months.
• Cum Eating occasionally
• Orgasm Denial
• Make appointments for Mistress
• Cage Time
• Strapon
• Mistress knows my location at all times due to GPS tracking

Things I read about online that I am sure are powerful.

• Speech restrictions - sub not allowed to speak unless spoken to.  Sometimes enforced with a gag.  Sometimes used during arguments to establish full control.
• Eye contact restrictions.
• Clothing being chosen.  Having clothes picked out for me to wear (even my day to day male clothes) would definitely show control.  It's so basic to decide what to wear, having that taken away is a huge mind fuck.
• Forced nudity
• Having to ask permission to use bathroom, go anywhere, buy things, is very controlling.
• Having food chosen.  Going out to a restaurant and having my food and drink chosen for me.  Like Mistress ordering me a salad and water while she has a steak and wine.  A good power move.
• Having access to my bank accounts, email, computer etc.
• Being restrained during non-play times i.e shackled during the day.
• Having pictures and videos taken of me in compromising situations
• Scheduled chores
• Sleeping in bondage
• Scent training
• Corner time
• Writing lines

As I write some of those things, I cringe as I know it would suck.  However, at the same time I know it's a great way to establish control as well as test my ability to agree to anything (with consequences for failure to comply).

As I said above, that's how my morning started.  I am now locked in chastity and my mind is a fog on submissive thoughts.  I am a lucky slave.  

Choices made for me

Last night Mistress and I went out to dinner.  When we came home we had to do some quick chores before relaxing on the couch.  I asked Mistress to grab something comfortable for me to wear when she went upstairs to change clothes.  She came down with a pair of women's yoga/lounge pants.  The pants are subtle, but certainly feminine.  There is no place for my cock and balls so they are fairly prominent.  I didn't think much of it last night, but I realized this morning that it had been some time since Mistress picked out something for me to wear.  There is something very powerful about picking out another person's clothes.  It goes perfectly with my desire to have control taken from me.  As I was lying in bed waking up this morning my mind raced about other things being chosen for me.

• Men's clothes.  I love it when Mistress chooses what she wants me to wear, especially if I have already chosen something else and she makes me change.
• Toys.  Wearing a butt plug or cock and ball toy gets me very hot.
• Panties.  I love it when Mistress picks out panties for me to wear, especially when I am not expecting it (like getting out of the shower).
• For a total mind fuck add a bra.
• Being told to wear pantyhose, stockings or any other feminine undergarment.  Especially when together.
• Women's trouser socks instead of mail socks.  Depending on the sock, it could be very feminine and I would be afraid of being found out no matter how unlikely. 
• Finding a nighty on the bed when I least expect it is a rush.
• Being told to paint my nails is also a rush.  Especially my fingernails.  I got hard thinking of wearing pink nail polish on my fingernails for a day or 2 on a weekend.
• Women's deodorant.  Having Mistress pick out a feminine deodorant for me to wear and her telling me when to wear it, is very hot to me.
• Women's perfume.  I fantasize about Mistress making me wear perfume at certain times.  I imagine her spraying my underwear drawer with a slutty scent.  I imagine having to wear it to bed so that I can't get it out of my mind.
• Chastity.  Being told to go in chastity is the ultimate forced item to wear. 

OMG!

It has now been a little over 2 weeks since I have had an orgasm, and 8 days I have been in chastity.  I am riding a wave of sexual energy that has me on cloud-9.  When I think of chastity and orgasm denial this is what it is about.

I have to give Mistress a lot of credit.  Her "recalibration" email was done perfectly at the perfect time.  I have gone back and read emails from 5 years ago after we first met.  Had I not been so difficult, we would be much deeper into D/s than we currently are.  Reading those emails has me committed to doing what it takes to make it happen.  Looking back, Mistress had all the right ideas.  She had rules, protocols, she asked lots of questions and would remind me of what I had asked for.  That being said, I am committing to getting us to where we should be.  It was me that messed it up so it's me that needs to fix it.  I need to submit like I never have and do things without question.  

Mistress and I recently spent a couple nights away from home.  We had a couple days to talk about where things are headed.  I confessed that I thought Mistress has been far to kind with allowing me to orgasm.  Going back through a lot of those emails, I realized some of our best sex was when I didn't cum.  It took a long time to convince her back then that I didn't need to cum.  I remember her trying to make me cum and me refusing.  We had a ton of great sex we were both satisfied.  My favorite was to give her multiple orgasms and then to have her push me off and tell me she was done with me.  To me that was the epitome of a female led relationship.

I communicated that while wearing my chastity device was somewhat difficult, I am committed to being locked up for as long as possible.  While I am pretty good at being chaste without a device, the device enforces the D/s aspect of our relationship.  Also, now that I have changed my mindset regarding a device, it is easier to wear.  I confessed to Mistress that I can imagine my cock being locked for the rest of my life, only to be let out for her pleasure.  I can imagine being unlocked almost daily, just long enough to make love to Mistress and when she has had her fill of orgasms I would be immediately locked up.  I can imagine never touching my cock again.  All of my pleasure would come from Mistress.  I wouldn't become one of the chastity slaves that cum when the wind blows.  I would be a chastity slave can make Mistress cum again and again while holding my own orgasm back.

All of this talk got Mistress and I worked up.  We headed back to our room and proceeded to get naked.  I begged Mistress to not unlock me as I wanted to make sure I pleased her and I also didn't want to accidentally cum.  Much to my surprise Mistress let me go down on her.  Oral sex is something Mistress rarely lets me do.  Some guy in her past fucked it up for her and that is a shame.  As a submissive male, giving oral sex huge.  Giving oral sex and using my fingers while my cock is locked up is priceless.  To me, kissing and licking her pussy should be a frequent occurrence. She has some concerns about the scent.  Scent is an incredibly powerful trigger for me.  Scent has a way of getting to the brain more than any other stimuli. For me, the smell of leaves on the ground in the fall takes me back to junior high.  Scent is one thing you see me posting about frequently.  Thinking of having a pair of Mistress dirty panties or tights stretched over my nose while my mouth is taped closed makes my head spin.  Spending hours between Mistress legs does the same for me.  

Mistress did order me to unlock and put my cock inside her.  For the most part I was able to pleasure her with my cock, but frequently had to stop so that I didn't cum.  I was so happy she didn't order me to orgasm.  I managed to give Mistress many orgasms, mostly with my fingers.  She came so hard and squirted so much that it reminded me of the old days.  I love watching her cum.  I love making love to her.  I love pleasing her sexually.  As we "recalibrate" I would like to spend much more time pleasuring Mistress.  I want to re-learn her body.  I want to make her cum and cum and cum.  Since I am committed to not having an orgasm for quite some time, I want to focus that energy on her.

When Mistress was fulfilled, she ordered me to clean off and to lock myself back in chastity.  I was happy to do so.  Even though I didn't cum, I was incredibly satisfied with the sex.  I felt fulfilled as a submissive and by not cumming I am still as turned on without any let down.

While Mistress and I were getting ready for dinner she asked me my thoughts on playing with a 3rd person.  We have spoken about this many times in the past so it wasn't a surprise.  I will post about that in another post as I want this post to be about pleasing Mistress.  

  

 

In a mood

This morning I woke up not feeling so well.  That tends to make me go to my happy place which is normally easy for me to think of things.  For some reason today I had no specific thoughts.  That was until I came across a post on Tumblr.  This one post and 5 pics got me going.

After I saw those 5 pics my mind was off and running.  I dreamt of Mistress gagging me and making me smell her panties or even worse, smelling my own panties.  I thought about other things like having Mistress dirty tights gagging me and her crotch tied right under my nose.  The only way to breathe would be through my nose so I would be engulfed in her scent.  I can imagine the endorphin rush just from that.  Then my mind drifted off to being gagged with panties crusty with my cum (and Mistress cum too).  I was surprised how many pics there are of women gagged with panties, but hardly any guys.  Stupid internet.