Tuesday, August 29, 2023

Early Submissive Thoughts - Very Early

It's quite common for our sexuality and kinks to have some sort of beginning in our youth, long before we know what sex is.  I am no exception.  My earliest memories are from the age around 4-5 when I loved playing cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, and any other childhood games that involved one party having control over the other.  While I would have no problem playing the cop or the robber, I preferred the robber so that handcuffs could be placed on me and I would be taken to jail.  


My friends had older sisters that could easily overpower me, especially when they worked together.  When they did it was intoxicating.  It wasn't sexual, at least I don't think it was.  It was something psychologically powerful to be controlled by these girls.

A large part of kids tying each other up is what happens once you are tied up.  It's human nature to mess with the one you have helpless.  To tease, tickle, or do things to them to get a reaction.

I remember my friend's twin sisters tying me and him up and putting makeup on us against our wishes.  I don't remember if I liked it then but it's one of my kinks now.

As I got older and discovered masturbation I found what pushed my sexual buttons.  One of my strongest memories from when I was around 11 or 12 is quite kinky for such a young age.  I was a late bloomer, so I was one of the smallest kids in my class.  I was shorter than 99% of my class including the girls.  One of the girls in my class was the tallest.  She was blonde, her parents had a large ranch and they had more money than my family.  I imagined she would be having a weekend slumber party with a bunch of girls from my class.  I would be the only boy invited to the party.  As soon as there were no parents around they would surround me and restrain me.  They would put me underneath the outhouse so when any of them had to pee, they would pee on me and laugh about it.  They would make me clean the barn and have turns spanking me.  I have no idea why this was a thing so early on in life.

When I was around 13, I discovered a dirty magazine in my Grandfather's bathroom.  There was one article that I remember, and it's because it's disgusting, but also mesmerizing.  The article involved a switch couple that liked piss play.  They would each pee into a bucket to have supplies for their games.  They would take turns tying each other up with restraints, gags, and blindfolds soaked in their piss so that whichever one was the bottom for that scene was covered in piss.  Again, no idea why this one thing sticks in my mind.  I am not into piss play so it's interesting that I still recall this.

Some other things that spoke to me when I was a kid even though I had no idea what kink was.

Wonder Woman and her Lasso of Truth along with her amazing outfit made me appreciate a strong and powerful woman.


The movie 9-5 where (I was 11) when the boss is tied up and kept hostage by 3 women in his office.  




Any movie or TV show with a woman tied up and gagged.  I wish there had been more men tied up in those shows, but that was the way the world was back then.

Penthouse Forum.  My dad had a couple of Penthouse magazines as did my friend’s dads.  My friends spent all their time looking at the naked women.  I did as well, but focused my attention on the Forum letters, especially with ones that involved some sort of bondage and/or power exchange.

Big hair, lots of makeup, tight clothes, high heels and short skirts were part of the popular culture of my youth. All of those things play a huge part in my fetishes. 

I was into being tied up and tied myself up a lot as a child and young adult.

I lost my virginity to a girl younger than me with a lot more experience than me.  She pretty much took it from me and I was very ok with that  

By the time I hit 18, my sexuality was pretty much set as someone who likes strong females who know what they want, know how to get it, and don't mind controlling men.  

It’s amazing to me how much our youth factors into our sexuality as an adult.

What are your earlier or more vivid memories of your childhood in relation to your sexuality now?




4 comments:

  1. Ah yes, the whole nature versus nurture debate...always thought provoking. :)

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    1. Obviously it's a combination of both. Thanks for the comment.

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  2. There's much in here that resonates with me too I recall being chased, pinned down and smothered by two girls when I was about 10 years old. That triggered a lifetime of loving being sat on my this way. My first bisexuality experience occurred about tge age of 11 when over-nighting with a friend. My interest in piss was triggered by an article I found in a porn stash around the same age and I started streaking in our street early in the morning aged about 12.

    Yep, a happy mis-spent youth that led on to many future fetishis! I also grew up in an essentially female-led household which in turn also affected my attitude towards women for the better.

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    1. Interesting. I grew up with a domineering father and a passive mother. I think being smaller than all the girls for many years must have been a bigger influence than I thought.

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