Saturday, April 20, 2019


Mistress and I recently went out of town.  I was unlocked on Saturday, April 6th so that I could shave my entire body and safely travel through the airport.  Mistress and I had sex on Sunday morning and I had my first orgasm in 76 days.  It was pretty awesome.

Sunday night I locked myself in chastity so that I wouldn't be tempted to cheat and masturbate.

Monday night, Mistress was in bed, so I snuck off and masturbated into the toilet.  Bad boy!

Tuesday morning I edged myself, a lot.  Tuesday night I behaved.

Wednesday morning I edged again, and again, and again.

Wednesday night Mistress had me fuck her and give her a nice squirty couple of orgasms and didn't allow me to cum.  I begged to be put into chastity and she said 'no'.  I was too horny to obey and snuck off to masturbate again.

Thursday night we were in a new city and a new hotel.  I behaved.

Friday night I behaved

Saturday night Mistress and I started to have sex, we miscommunicated and didn't end up having sex.  I snuck off again.

We have been home for the last 6 days and I haven't edged or masturbated.  Something about our routine that keeps me chaste.  Traveling and being in new places makes me very, very horny and I can't help myself.  I wish Mistress would keep me locked up while traveling.

This is NOT me

Friday, April 5, 2019

A 'Time Out' Fantasy

I recently read a post from one of my favorite blogs “Strict Julie Spanks”

The post is part of longer series of posts where her husband has been sentenced to a week of “panty training”. In addition to the daily wearing of panties, he is subjected a nightly time-out in the corner followed by a spanking or strapping, followed by being taken with a strap-on and ending with him hand washing his panties every night.  Hmmmmmm.

After dinner I told him to strip to his panties and go to the timeout wall. Timeout is deliberately in a more public part of the house: the living room near an exterior window.

My husband complained, "can't we skip that today?" he whined. He really disliked "boring" timeout.

"No. Timeout. Now. Go."

"How long?" he asked with a moan in his voice.

"Longer now," I told him, shaking my head.

He went to timeout as he was told and glued his nose to the wall. I did not start the timer yet. I needed to nip this disobedience in the bud. I was not to be trifled with. I decided his timeout would be both longer and more uncomfortable as a result of his backtalk.

I went upstairs to fetch the same restraints. The velcro wrist straps with the buckles to fasten his hands behind his back, the belt to fasten his ankles together, and I added a ball gag and his bra and silicone falsies. I brought all that downstairs.

I pulled him away from the wall, had him kneel, and put the ball gag tightly on him. I then stood him up, put his bra on him, and put in his inserts to fill him out to a nice cup size (technically DD, but given his large frame, more the appearance of a C-cup on a normal sized lady). I pushed him back up against the wall, mashing his tits. Then I put him into his wrist restraints, brought his wrists behind his back, and fastened them together. Finally I knelt down at his feet and tied his ankles together tightly with the belt. I made him hop back a few paces. I retrieved a packing box with some stuff in it and placed it against the wall. I made him hop so that his toes were against the box. I took a large coin and put it against the wall and told him to hold it there with his nose. Quite similar to the image below.

If the coin dropped, I warned him, I would give him a spanking, and then he would restart his timeout from the beginning, and he would still have his real spanking coming. He knows I'm serious about that from previous experience.

With his feet away from the wall, his nose against the wall, and no use of his hands, he was in a very awkward situation with his butt stuck far out, his back arched, and his weight pushing into his nose. With the ball-gag combined with his nose pushed so into the wall, his breathing was laboured. This was a real punishment timeout!

"I'm setting the timer for 20 minutes this time, David, five more minutes than yesterday, starting now. As you're standing there I want you to compare today's timeout to yesterday's, and ask yourself why today's is so different. You think on that, and then depending on your decisions tomorrow we can either go back to the old way or continue doing it this way. Entirely your choice, sweetheart."

I watched his full twenty-minute timeout.  After the first five minutes, his knees were shaking and his ass was wiggling, but the coin stayed up. "Fifteen more minutes," I told him. I heard a groan-like sound through his ball gag. "Ten more minutes." For the last ten minutes, he was sweating badly and shaking. "Five more minutes." he was groaning and moaning. "And time," I said as the alarm went off. I had him drop the coin into my waiting hand and I helped him to stand straight and turn to face away from the wall.

He looked very pathetic standing there, sweating, wriggling in pain, facing me in his skimpy little panty jammed up his crack and with his balls hanging out, hands bound behind his back, ankles bound tightly together, and ball-gagged.

For all you discipline freaks out there, a timeout like this is nasty and is an excellent "for real" behavioral deterrent in an otherwise kinky relationship. I knew he would go right into timeout, lickety-split, when told to for the rest of the week. Kinky punishment can be fun and sexy, but this was something apart that he had no desire to experience again!

When I was done I unfastened his wrists so that he could stand. I then took off his ball-gag and told him to sit on the floor and remove the belt from around his ankles.

He stood in front of me. His penis and testicles both hanging out of his panty.

"It was extremely unpleasant for me to have to give you timeout like that, david. Do you understand why I did it?"

"Yes ma'am," he said.

"Why did I have to do it?" I asked.

"Because I back-talked you, ma'am," he answered correctly.

"Yes. For your information, while you're being panty trained I have zero tolerance for backtalk, do you get that?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Will you be back-talking me tomorrow when I tell you to go into timeout?"

"No, Ma'am!"

"Good. Now go upstairs and hand wash your panties...

While her entire story is pretty hot, I can’t get the previous portion out of my mind. The helplessness and humiliation he feels must be tremendous.  Knowing that his talking back is causing him more discomfort than if he just obeyed. The added bra and inserts to add even more humiliation.  He has to suck it up and accept his fate or be subjected to an even crueler beating than the one he knows he will still be getting.  For her, it takes almost no effort. He is essentially punishing himself.  She doesn’t even have to be in the room as the coin against the wall will tell her if he cheated or not. I can only imagine what’s going through his mind.   And this is just the beginning of his nightly ordeal for the week. And he has more nights ahead as well. 

A very Heaven and Hell scenario and I’m jealous.

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Short break and locked again

Mistress and I spent the weekend away with some friends. There was a small chance of my chastity being seen so Mistress granted me a couple days of freedom. As much as I want to cum I didn’t have the opportunity to cum with her or the ability to sneak an orgasm. We got home on Sunday and Mistress has me wear a pink camisole and pink yoga pants for lounging around the house that evening. I absolutely love it when she picks out feminine things for me to wear. There was no indication from Mistress to lock back up. To be fair she may not have been thinking it. When Sunday night came around Mistress fell asleep before me. I had a dilemma. Stay free and risk my morning horniness or lock myself back up.  I chose to lock back up.  I left the keys on her vanity. When morning came around I was awake long before Mistress. I was lying on the couch in my camisole and yoga pants and I swear if I wasn’t locked up I would have at least edged myself and possibly more. Instead, I lay there frustrated unable to do anything about my growing frustration.  When Mistress awoke the next morning the keys that I placed on her vanity we’re gone, hidden away somewhere. My cock twitched when I saw this.

It’s now a few days later and no mention has been made of my chastity. We are back on my long term denial program. In another week I will have had only one orgasm in the first quarter of 2019.

I forgot to mention. I recently bought 4 new chastity devices on eBay. One was $8 and the rest averaged $5.50. The $8 device is a short version of my favorite device. So far shorter is better. It’s more comfortable under my clothes and requires less adjusting due to the back and forth of erections and softening.  When I had a bit of freedom on Friday morning I tried all of the devices on. What kind of guy tries on different chastity devices when he has a bit of unsupervised time unlocked?  A chastity slave that’s who.

I’ve got to run now and take the dog to the dog park. I think I’ll wear something feminine under my clothes while I’m there.

Update. On my way to the dog park.  The only shirt I am wearing is a gray satin camisole tank top. Have a fleece over it, but no other male clothes to cover it.

Today's mood...

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Well denied

I’ve been locked in Chastity for 83 of the last 85 days. 80 of those days have been in 2019. Last year I was locked 169 days so I am already locked close to half of what I was last year.  My last orgasm was over 8 weeks ago. I’ve only had one orgasm this year. Last year I was at 3 at this time of the year. 

Mistress had been surprisingly good with me being locked. We have been so busy that there hasn’t been a lot of time for any sort of physical intimacy so this chastity period is kind of convenient in a way.  My new attitude of if I’m unlocked that must mean I’m allowed to masturbate might also play into Mistress’s decision to keep me locked up.

Between work and our dog, one of us gets up way before the other.  Most days Mistress is up and I am left in bed. I used to be able to edge during these times and sometimes my edging would be a bit too much and I would leak quite a bit. There is no edging now.  The closest I get is getting super hard in my cage, over and over while I fantasize about Mistress tease torturing me.

I want to cum, but I really don’t want to cum.  If I were unlocked right now I would be in my home office.  I would be looking at some sort of porn where a guy is tied helplessly tight and edged over and over and over.  I’d get close enough to orgasm to leak, and I would lick up the small amounts. And I’m in enough of a mood that I would stroke myself to orgasm right into my office trash can. I wouldn’t consume that cum, even though I should. Being locked in chastity keeps me from having an occasional unauthorized orgasm, accidentally or on purpose.  It keeps me under control which is what I really crave. 

What I really crave is Mistress using me sexually without letting me have pleasure. I yearn to use my mouth and fingers to bring her to orgasm. I fantasize about fucking her with a strap on while my cock stays locked up. Fucking her for as hard and long as she wants as there is no over stimulation on my part. I fantasize about Mistress cumming every single day with my help or on her own while I stay denied. When she does masturbate she lets me know about it as it’s a great mindfuck.  I know that being used for her pleasure while I stay denied would really, really make me unbearably horny.  I want to be so desperate that I am nearly in tears...

Today's mood...

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

More and More Desperate - And Loving It

Every morning, I am sexually desperate.  A combination of testosterone, mixed with nightly feminization mixed with full-time chastity is driving me sexually mad.  Each day as my body slowly starts to wake up, my mind stirs with disturbing thoughts. My cock gets hard and strains against my chastity cage. I fantasize about having painful, humiliating or disgusting things done to me.  I yearn to be treated harshly and to be made to do things that challenge me. I fantasize about the idea of cumming and at the same time hoping that I remain denied. I fantasize and cringe at the same time about electric play.  Electric devices scare me but fascinated me at the same time. I also have fantasies I wish I didn’t have. Ones that I don’t want to happen but my mind still goes there.

Some mornings I am so desperate to feel more naughty that I will wear a feminine item under my male clothes.  A feminine tank top or camisole rubs against my chest as I take the dog for a walk.  Making me even hornier.  I’m erotically ashamed of this behavior and hide it from Mistress.

As the day goes on my horniness drops. I’m too busy to be hyper-sexualized. That doesn’t mean my desperation goes away, it’s just reduced. I have constant reminders of my situation. Chasity is always there. I occasionally get a whiff of the intoxicating perfume I wear.  Whenever I am barefoot, my pink painted toenails make my brain twitch a bit.

Each night the cycle starts over as I slip into a nighty before climbing into bed. Occasionally I try to skip the nighty but Mistress catches this and makes sure I obey. I love her for doing this to /for me.  Some nights I have dreams.  A recent one had Mistress reverse sitting on my face with the threat of me not breathing unless I licked her furiously.  Another had me going to a private executive suite dressed in my male clothes with instructions to change into my feminine attire once I arrived. Mistress would use a webcam to give me humiliating tasks and to ensure I stayed dressed in this busy office.

When I dream like this I am even more ramped up and desperate the next day. Thanks to chastity and orgasm denial I don’t see my frustration ever ending. That makes me horny, happy and eager to serve my Mistress in any way possible.

Today’s mood.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Making Chastity More Challenging and Frustrating

The last couple of days, I have woken up, extremely frustrated and horny.  Mistress was out of bed before me and I yearned for the days when I could edge myself and cum whenever I wanted.  It's been 3 weeks since my last orgasm and the need to cum is back up, but I can also see where I am yet again getting used to not cumming.  I was reminded of my recent post about how I believe that occasional orgasms "remind" me of what it is like to have one and that makes the denial more real.

As I was laying in bed this morning I started to wonder if it would be possible to increase frustration and desperation without the occasional orgasm.  Of course my early morning, testosterone-fueled libido took over and my mind took over.  Here is what I came up with.

  • Occasionally being required to take viagra while locked up
  • Having to send Mistress pictures of myself locked up
  • Verbal teasing and taunting of me being a chastity slave
  • Going down on Mistress while staying locked up
  • Using my mouth and fingers on Mistress as much as she wants while staying locked up
  • Mistress masturbating herself and telling me how many times she cums every day without me
  • Using a strap-on to fuck Mistress while my chastity device smacks helplessly against Mistress
  • Unlocking and being tied down to endure a long teasing session and locking back up afterward
  • Frequent anal stimulation (plugs or strap on) to ensure only pleasure is anal
  • prostate stimulation while locked
  • Bedtime teasing through my cage
  • Being released and made to fuck without cumming.  This is the riskiest as I almost always leak too much.
  • Rough BDSM scene while locked the entire time.
  • Feminine attire to enforce the emasculating effect of chastity.
All in all, I think there could be a lot of ways to increase the frustration of chastity while still keeping me denied.  The best part is Mistress should have all of the orgasms she can handle and we can still be intimate and make sure she is pleased.  

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

The Ten Commandments

Every morning as I am starting to wake up, my mind typically goes to a kinky place.  As I drift in and out of sleep, my mind wanders.  It almost feels like a dream, but I have some control where my mind wanders. 

This morning Mistress was out of bed before me.  If I wasn't locked in chastity I would have edged a few dozen times and then I would have proceeded to give myself an orgasm.  I would have logged it in the orgasm log and in a few days confessed that I came without permission.  Not to be disobedient, but because the honor system is imperfect.  As I fantasized about having an orgasm I fantasized about the rules I have to follow.  I came up with the idea of the Ten Commandments although I don't have 10.

  1. Thou shalt be locked in chastity at all times.
  2. Thou shalt wear a nighty every night.
  3. Thou shalt keep body shaved at all times.
  4. Thou shalt wear perfume and women's deodorant every day.
  5. Thou shalt keep toenails painted at all times.
  6. Thou shalt prepare and/or serve Mistress coffee every morning.
  7. .
  8. .
  9. .
  10. .
I am in need of 4 more commandments.  I love the idea of having to have these memorized and be able to recite each one by number.  I love the idea of being punished (severely) any time a commandment is broken.  If my toenails are not kept up, or Mistress has to prepare her own coffee, I would be dealt with harshly.

Additional commandments I fantasize about.  Collars, feminine attire requirements, chores, tasks, toys etc.  A commandment doesn't have to be necessarily a daily one, but something such as every week thou shalt do X task.  

No more time to post for today.  If you wouldn't mind suggesting commandments in the comments section that you think are appropriate, I would be very appreciative.    

Also an obligatory picture for this post.  Here is my mood today.

Saturday, January 26, 2019

Ramped Up!!!!

I am a huge fan of orgasm denial.  That doesn't mean I don't like orgasms.  In fact, I would love to cum every day if not a couple times a day.  In my previous marriage, I would cum at least once a day and 3-4 times a day if I was traveling.  Unfortunately, 99% of those orgasms were solo and left me unaroused.

The reason I love orgasm denial is precisely because I want to cum so badly all of the time.  I love the mind fuck aspect of not being allowed to cum.  While I am not a fan of having to wear a chastity device, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being forced to wear a chastity device.  I am tired of the honor system, where I willfully don't cum.  I was pretty good at it, but still had accidents.  I was able to edge.  I didn't feel like I was being controlled, which is what I really crave.  I am now of the mindset that if Mistress leaves my cock unlocked for any period of time it signifies permission to do as I please with my cock.

While I am a fan of orgasm denial and my fantasy is 100% denial, I realize occasional orgasms are essential in making the denial more frustrating.  I came 4 days ago.  In the couple of weeks before I came, I got used to the idea of not cumming.  Not that I have had an orgasm, I can't get the thought of having an orgasm again.  It's a delicious mind fuck.  In fact the few days after I have an orgasm are the hardest for me.  It's when I would cheat the most in the past.  Mistress would leave me unlocked and I would generally have an extra one or 2 unauthorized orgasms.  I was too weak to resist the siren call of another orgasm.  That's what happened to me the day after my last orgasm, I needed another one and I wasn't locked.  I fought it, but won't fight it the next time the situation happens.  I'll admit it and deal with any punishment Mistress deems appropriate.  That's why chastity is such a great tool to enforce control over my orgasms.

Last night was a night on the couch watching TV.  Mistress will grab me something comfortable to wear while we lounge around.  Sometimes its men's PJ bottoms and a t-shirt.  Other times it's something feminine.  I'm torn when she does this.  In the evening my libido is lower than in the morning.  When she brings me male clothes I am released, but also missing the forced feminization.  When she brings me female clothes, my anxiety peaks, I get mildly humiliated, but I also get incredibly aroused.  It's another mindfuck, which I love.  Last night Mistress picked out pink yoga pants and a thin white camisole with spaghetti straps.  I can see my nipples outlined very well in the top and I feel super exposed in the cold air.  I absolutely love how slutty it makes me feel.  The other side benefit to wearing feminine attire in the evening is that it ends up on the floor next to the bed which is what I will put on in the morning.

All of these things added up have me in quite a state.  Last night I dreamt that Mistress started making me wear body suits under my clothes during the day and at bedtime.  Some of them were so high cut on the side that they went above my pants.  I had a see-through black one, a see-through striped one a white see through one and assorted others in a drawer.  Mistress would make me show her friends what I was wearing by lifting up my shirt and the body suit would show when I bent over.  I was humiliated and that humiliation made me super horny.

So this morning I woke up with my hornniess at a level 10.  I put on my perfume, my pink yoga pants, and my white slutty camisole.   My head is spinning with ideas of how much I like being treated like a slutty nympho that is not allowed to cum.  I'm in heaven!


Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Full Orgasm

Just a quick post here.  I finally had a full orgasm yesterday.  It was my first non-ruined one since December 5th (48 days).  I was also released from chastity after 27 days.  I was not let out once.  Not to change devices, not to clean, not to shave.  I got so used to it that I keep trying to adjust it and realize I'm not wearing it.

Speaking of chastity I spent 169 days in chastity in 2018.  That is 5.6 months or nearly half the year.  It's also a full 66 days more than I spent locked in 2017.  I also had only 14 orgasms.  A true 14, no cheating.  In previous years I had 21-37 reported orgasms but didn't keep track of my secret ones. 

The last 4 weeks I have been particularly interested in feminization.  Both fully dressed at home as well as having to wear items under my male clothes 24/7.  I can't explain it, but I have been yearning for it.  I believe it has something to do with chastity and my horniness needing to have another outlet besides my cock.  It also likely has something to do with Mistress enforcing a strict nighty and painted toenail policy.

This morning was interesting.  It was the first morning I could touch my cock in 4 weeks.  I took full advantage.  Well, almost full advantage.  I edged myself about a dozen times.  My brain kept telling me to go ahead and cum.  Mistress will never know.  She will just think it's part of my normal post orgasm drop.  I'll "confess" it on my Orgasm Tracker (Orgasm Tracker) but other than that, I was going to keep it a secret until I got horny enough to confess in a scene.  The only reason I didn't give myself an orgasm was that my dog was scratching at the door to get in.  Dog blocked.

Now I am sitting here and Mistress just left for an hour or 2.  Whatever will I do?  Below are pictures of my current mood.