Wife Coming Home Today

 Mistress comes home today.  As soon as I get up I have my final chores to complete.  I keep my nighty on and spray some perfume on my chest to keep my head spinning with feminine overtones.  One of my tasks in our female-led relationship is that I have to change the sheets weekly.  I strip the bed and put new sheets on the bed.  They have a very strong feminine scent from their last wash.  The scent is a laundry detergent that we jokingly call 'whore juice' due to its powerful smell.

After making the bed, I put the dirty sheets in the wash.  I then fold and put away all of the feminine clothes I wore during the week.  I just happened to wash those in whore juice as well.

Now all I have to do is wait for the time lock app on my phone to reveal the code to the safe so I can take off my chastity device.  If it were up to me, I'd stay locked until Mistress noticed I was locked and told me to unlock, but I don't want to be a pushy bottom.

The code is revealed to me a little after 10AM so I remove my device, and clean and dry it.  I take off my collar and wait for Mitress's plane to arrive so I can pick her up.

It was a good week.  I got to experience some bondage that ended up being more challenging than planned.  Being locked in chastity for 8 days, plugged, feminized, and my nipples raw and sore made for a very horny slave.  Doing chores while in this state, made the work mentally easier and exciting.

Wife Away Day 6

I am my horniest between the hours of 3 A.M and 9 A.M, with the peak being around 6 or 7.  While I woke up really ramped up, my libido waned later in the day, likely because of my unplanned orgasm the other night.

Besides wearing feminine clothes all day, I went through our 2 bins of toys and implements.  I went through dozens of chastity devices eliminating the ones I haven't touched in years.  I put all of the insertables and silicone items in for a quick spin in the dishwasher.  I put everything in a dedicated plastic bag to keep it clean.

while going through all of the toys I ran across our strap-on harness. Mistress had this toy before we met and it's only been used on me.  I got curious if I could use it on her while I was locked in chastity.  I've seen lots of videos where the guy is fucking his Mistress hard while his cock swings safely locked up.  Most of us chastity slaves can't last very long so this seems to be the ideal way to give Mistress a cock that satisfies her need for penetration.  It's also a major mindfuck for the slave.  He is going through all of the motions of intercourse.  He is thrusting, and he can see "his" cock go into his Mistress, he feels all the physical sensation of fucking, but his cock feels absolutely nothing.  A win/win proposition if you ask me. 

This is me

I ended my evening my going to bed wearing another nighty.

Wife Away Day 5

 It's Monday and while I work, I work a desk job at home.  Much less physical labor than I had this weekend so I was a little more rested.

I am going through all of my feminine clothes.  My goal is to wear everything at least once.  I spent most of the day in a padded lace bralette and pink panties.  I also painted my fingernails and toenails in 2 coats of shiny clear polish.  I wanted to do pink on my toenails but will be wearing flip-flops all week.  I can't wait for cooler weather to be able to look down and see hot pink toenails.  

Today was also a chastity check.  The app that held the code to the safe was revealed to me.  I removed the cage of my device and left the base ring on.  Everything looked good so I went to plan B.  A quick tease and lock up.  I set up a metronome app with a very slow 60 beats per minute.  I set a time for 5 minutes.  I put a nitrile glove on my right and I then lubed up my cock and hand so everything was super slippery.  Once I was hard, I started the timer and stood in front of the full-length wardrobe mirror.   On the mirror, I attached a suction cup dildo about 8 inches in length and 2 inches in diameter at the height of my mouth.  I began to stroke my cock, one second up, one second down, one second up, one second down.  As I did this I sucked the dildo at the same pace.  One second in one second out, one second in, one second out.  

What I wished was happening

I foolishly assumed that 60 beats a minute would be far too slow and would just tease me.  I was very wrong.  By the 3-minute mark, I was going deeper on the silicone cock and between the stroking and the cock hitting my gag reflex, I was on the edge.  I stopped and adjusted the metronome to 40 beats per minute.  This allowed me to last another 90 seconds before I was on the edge again.  I stopped stroking my cock but kept the rhythm with the cock in my mouth.  

Once the time went off, I cleaned the excess lube off of my cock.  I tossed the glove and put the cage back on my chastity device.  I went into the app and had to give me a new code.  I then read several random 4-digit codes and forgot the number I put in within 15 seconds.  I'm locked until the day Mistress gets home, 4 days from now.

At bedtime, I decided to use my non-vibrating prostate massager to see if I could cum with anal stimulation alone.  I never got to where I thought I could cum, so I grabbed my cage and pushed it back and forth.  I instantly believed that the motion in combination with the prostate massager could give me an orgasm.  I was right.  Within 60 seconds I could feel an orgasm coming.  It wasn't because of any friction on my cock.  My device doesn't allow for that.  I believe my brain confused the motion of the cage with actual stroking.  Combining that with the anal stimulation and the fact I haven't released a drop of cum in 90+ days, I managed to have a mini-orgasm with a little bit of cum release.  It was enough of a release that I had a post-orgasm letdown.  If I had access to the key on my chastity device I would have let myself out for the night. I skipped wearing a nighty which I should not have done.

By 5 A.M. I was back to normal thanks to my cock still being locked.  It's impossible for me to lose my horny edge for very long when I am locked up and don't have access to the key.  Enforced chastity keeps me on my toes.

Mistress is set to return in a few days.  My focus is going to shift from playing games with myself to doing the chores I have promised to do, with a few kinks added along the way.  As I type, this I am wearing black pantyhose and my legs are belted tightly together.  I am in this position until a loan of towels is ready to be moved from the washer to the dryer.       

Wife Away Day One

 I took Mistress to the airport early.  On my way home I ran a couple of errands.  I picked up some super cheap vanilla body spray as well as a pack of cheap but comfortable panties that work well with my chastity device.  

As soon as I got home I gave myself 10 hard whacks on each ass cheek with the heavy rubber "ugly stick".  A little punishment for being such a bad boy.  With a red ass, I jumped into the shower to shave my chest, cock, and balls so that I could go into chastity.  When I got out of the shower I put on my device.  I then took all of the extra chastity keys and the Hitachi vibrator and put them in the safe.  It's not a fancy safe, it's one like you get in a hotel room.  Once I shut the door I went into the Chaster app (look it up if you don't know what it is).  I created a lock that was to last just shy of 4 days.  Mistress is gone for 8 days, but I wanted to have a safety net halfway through if something goes wrong.  I have no backup plan other than to drill out the lock. If all is going well I will add antoher 4 days. I didn't make the lock public or add any embellishments.  I just need to be locked.  I put the code into the safe and then scrambled my brain with a ton of other 4 digit codes.  I had forgotten the code in less than 30 seconds.  I really hope I put in the right code.  I then put a handcuff key in a container, filled it with water, and put it in the freezer.  I was going to test an ice lock for self-bondage later that night.

I worked for the rest of the day as I had a lot to do.  After work, I plugged my ass with my large butt plug.  It's been over a year since I had that beast inside me.  I am out of practice.  I left it in for a couple of hours while getting dinner ready and feeding the dog.  It was during this time I practiced with the ice lock.  I hung a string with the frozen block with the key in it directly above where my hands would be cuffed above my head.  I then took another string and tied it away from the bed.  This block was also attached to the ice.  The plan is that when the ice melts almost completely the key will be released and will swing so that I can reach it and uncuff myself. While timing the ice, I painted my fingernails and toenails clear.  I wanted to paint my toenails pink but I will be barefoot in a couple of days with some people of influence.  After Sunday I will repaint them if I can. 

Similar to what I did. 

Thank goodness I tested it.  The ice was about 2 inches by 3 inches and it took almost 5 hours to release the key.  I would have been miserable had I not tested it.  I practiced tying myself the way I would eventually do this.  My ankles were tied in pink leather cuffs, spread wide apart. I had my panties on over my chastity device and a white camisole pushed down over my nipples so that I could add some clover nipple clamps.  I actually did cuff my hands above my head and if I didn't have keys with me I would have spent 90+ minutes tied like that.  I also discovered a way to free myself that I vowed to eliminate when I do this for real.  I wish I had my Hitachi hooked up to the timer.  One for one minute, off for 2-3.  Edging over and over again until the ice melted.  I locked it up because I knew at some point I would edge too much and lose this incredible feeling I have of being denied.

Since I could like and untie myself at will I practiced other variables while I timed the ice lock.  I put my prostate massager in and retired myself.  I kept flexing my Kegels and thought for sure I was going to cum.  I was so sure I untied myself and manually used the massager, but I didn't quite get there.  

At this point it was late, I was exhausted from all of the different ways of testing so I put on my sluttiest nighty and went to bed.  Note to self, smaller ice blocks moving forward.

Mistress Going Out Of Town

 Mistress is going out of town soon to handle some family matters at the end of the week and she'll be gone for a week. Not only do we live together, but we also work together, so we are together 24/7 day in and day out.  The most time we spend apart is an hour here and there.  So her being gone, will be an unusual amount of time apart.

When Mistress does leave, I have some time to do some playing by myself.  This includes some additional feminization, playing with some toys I rarely ever play with, self-bondage, lots of edging, and because I can't control myself, I end up overstimulating myself and have a few unauthorized orgasms. It's been over 12 weeks since my last orgasm and I don't want to ruin my orgasm-free streak.  Being orgasm free has helped me stay in service mode. While I want to play, I also need to take some precautions to make sure I can't accidentally cum while Mistress is away.  

Here is what I have planned so far and am open to any ideas from my audience.

• Locking myself in chastity if Mistress doesn't lock me up. 
• Locking the keys in a small safe and using an app to hide the combination for a week
• Locking the Hitachi vibrator in the safe as well.  I can cum in chastity with the Hitachi 
• Toenails painted - debating between pink or blue
• Fingernails painted clear
• Something in my ass for a minimum of an hour a day. Plug, dildo, prostate massager, ginger root
• Lot's of time wearing nipple clamps
• Feminine attire in the house the entire time
• At least one several-hour self-bondage session
• At least one predicament self-bondage session
• At least one deep-throat practice session
• Daily line writing
• Attempt to have an anal orgasm since I won't be able to cum normally
• One self-spanking session - day one or 2 as I intend to leave marks on my body
• Chores. When Mistress returns home, the house will sparkle from top to bottom.  My goal is to show her how clean I can keep the house if she keeps encouraging me.
• Collared the entire time
• Daily update of my activities here on my blog

Thank you to everyone who has been leaving comments on my blog.  It helps motivate me to keep posting.

The Submissive Paradox

I have learned a lot about my submissive side over the last 10 months.  Here is where I have failed over the last 30+ years of being a submissive. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.  That's a problem if one wants to be in a true female-led relationship  The only one that should be able to have cake and eat it, is Mistress. The slave gets only what Mistress wants the slave to have.  I tried to make it about me more than her.

This leads me to what Mistress Scarlet https://msscarletuk.wordpress.com/ calls the Submissive Paradox.  Here is the absolute best explanation that I have finally (after 35 years) come to understand and accept.  I underlined the sections that really speak to me

‘If you love your submissive and you wish to be kind to your submissive and have him sleep the most sound and contented sleep they can ever know, then the saying -‘you have to be cruel to be kind’, is the mantra by which you must live. 

The deeply submissive is a paradox. They need to feel helplessly in the control of another. That entails feeling that they are treated unfairly when it comes to things like the allocation of chores and leisure time. It means they have to be genuinely very fearful and frightened of the punishments that are given in response to infractions. It also means they have to be subjected to pain and humiliation that they do not enjoy. It is only when they are genuinely fearful of punishment for infractions and when they suffer pain and humiliation and unfairness they genuinely would rather not experience, that they feel truly controlled and in the helpless power of another. And without feeling truly controlled and in the helpless power of another, they can NEVER be wholly content with their lives. 

So real love and kindness for a true submissive does not mean going easy on them in any way, or being fair with them – that causes discontent and unhappiness and is not being kind.

In turn, the dominant woman is hooked on the addictive and arousing drug of using and abusing real power, over her male.

That's the paradox. Being cruel is being nice.  That doesn't mean 24/7 whip-wielding. Mistress can be nice, kind, and helpful when she wants to be, but also needs to be truly cruel for the submissive to feel loved and contented. Also, being cruel in a way the submissive wants is counter-productive.  This has been my problem for years. Wanting to be dominated my way and not realizing it didn't work for Mistress means it really wasn't working for me.  Here are some day-to-day examples of the paradox when I think of how it affects me.

Orgasm Control - I want to cum when I want to cum. When Mistress controls and denies my orgasms, I don't really like it. Unfortunately, that's when I get immensely turned on.  Being submissive means that the more my orgasms are controlled the more I am in awe of Mistress.  Orgasm control doesn't necessarily mean denial, it just means that I don't have a say in it.  On the flip side, being forced to orgasm multiple times until it's impossible to cum is another form of control.

Chastity - Chastity isn't just about orgasm control, it's about total control.  Being locked and having Mistress mostly ignore it shouldn't be arousing, but it is.  This is especially true now with my new perspective and I can see being locked 99.9% of the time for the rest of my life.  If I ever ask or beg to be unlocked, denying that request seems cruel but it's not. It’s kind based on the Submissive Paradox.  I am pretty good on the honor system, but not good enough.  

Chores - Chores have to be done.  That's what happens in relationships. Many would say that equal distribution of chores is necessary for a healthy relationship.  The Submissive Paradox says otherwise. The more unequal the chores are, the better it is for the Mistress/Slave dynamic.  Don't misunderstand this.  I don't want to do more chores and I don't enjoy them, but something happens inside my brain when Mistress makes me do chores. The idea of an endless list of chores is overwhelming and therefore powerful. Making the chores more difficult or humiliating makes them worse and therefore makes it better.   

Personal Service - In this relationship, Mistress should think of herself as a ruler of her kingdom (like Cleopatra) and me as just one of her lowly slaves. Waking Mistress up as she wishes to be woken.  Coffee service in the morning (me handing it to her).  Holding doors. Pedicures at her feet. Turning down her bed in the evening. Serving her drinks during the day. Fetching things for her that she could easily get for herself, but increases the dynamic.  The list of personal services is never-ending and I should be doing as many as Mistress wishes.

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Feminization - The only hair on my body are my eyebrows.  I wear a nighty every night. Most nights I am good with it, but some nights I feel silly and not manly.  It's these nights where the nighty is the most powerful.  Wearing panties is the same story.  I used to occasionally wear female deodorant and now it's all I ever wear.  Nail polish is one of those things that can’t be removed easily and is a constant reminder. All of these things create some level of humiliation which again, explains the Submissive Paradox.  Mistress recently threatened me with feminization while I clean and that makes me blush with shame but also makes me in awe of her for making me endure it.  The more feminization I endure the less in control I am and the more  I want to obey. 

Punishment - It's been a very long time since I have been punished.  Also, I don't know that I have ever been truly punished by Mistress (other than stopping D/s activities).  Without the Submissive Paradox, a true and proper beating seems abusive.  With the Submissive Paradox, a beating where I am truly begging for it to end and fearing it ever being repeated would be deeply effective and arousing.  I don’t want to be punished but I want to truly fear Mistress so that I have no choice but to obey. Punishment doesn’t have to be a beating either. Removal of privileges. Punishments you’d give a child or teenager.  The list is extensive.

Mind-Fuckery - The Submissive Paradox really shines here. Fucking with a slaves mind just for the sake of it. Taking something that they find pleasurable and making it unpleasurable. Pushing them slighly further than they think they can take. Punishing for absolutely no reason. Turning a funishment into a punishment.  Making him do a chore over that he just did. Creating a task that serves no purpose other than to fuck with the submissive. Leaving a mess just to have the slave clean it up. I think of it as bullying. Having to suck it up while being treated unfairly would suck, but it would also push all sorts of buttons inside me.  Again, it’s the Submissive Paradox.

I’d love your opinion on this post.  As a submissive do you feel the same way?  As a dominant, does it make sense?  If you’re vanilla and somehow reading this, what are your thoughts?e

New Take On Chastity

I got my first chastity device for Christmas in 1999.  It was a CB-2000.  What a terrible device it was, but what an opening it was into this world.  A few years later I 'upgraded' to the CB-6000, which was marginally better.  A few years later I was fortunate enough to get a custom device from Steelwerx in Canada.  It's a piece of art and priced like a piece of fine art.  I got a Prince Albert Piercing to make the device more secure.  That was my most comfortable device for the longest time, but looking back it was far too large.  It's not the fault of the designer, it's what chastity devices were back in the 2005-2010 era.  After 20+ years of chastity, most chastity connoisseurs seem to agree that the smaller the device the better.  There is less room for things to adjust and get pinched.  Smaller devices are more secure.  With my piercing, I need a small device to keep my piercing from getting pulled on when bending over and my penis tries to pull back.

As I write this, I am back in chastity and I am wearing my most comfortable device.  It's a Chinese knockoff of the amazing design from Rigid Chastity. It has a hook that keeps my piercing secure so that I can’t pull out the back of the device. I wish it were about a half-inch shorter, but I don't want to go through the hassle and expense of another device.  Other than the common lock it's inescapable. It's been well over a month since I had an orgasm which is the longest I have gone in the last several years.

I am treating chastity differently for the first time in my life.  In the past I made it about me and if I was locked I demanded attentions to it. If Mistress wasn't actively involved in my lock up or in D/s I became resentful.  I am now taking this lockup period as a symbol of my servitude. As penance for my last 13 years of pushy bottom behavior.  In other words I deserve to be locked indefinitely.  Over the last several years I have snuck off into the bathroom to rub one out while Mistress slept or masturbated while in the shower. This is not conducive for a submissive who wants his Mistress to take on a more dominant role.  My orgasms are not mine to have on a whim.  They are up to Mistress to allow me to have them or not.  I am pretty good on the honor system but even then I fail 1%-2% of the time.  I get drunk and horny and wait until Mistress goes to bed so I can cum.  I wake up horny every single morning and occasionally it's too much for me and I will rub one out before Mistress wakes up.  Other times I feel "owed" and will cum in the shower without Mistress knowing.  While I am chaste 98% of the time on the honor system, I need 100% chastity to make sure I don't fail 2% of the time.  This time around I go out of my way to make sure my chastity is not a burden on Mistress.  I don't complain, I don't beg, I don't make it about me, I make it about servitude. In turn, she barely acknowledges my situation which makes it harder and hotter.  Sometimes I think she forgets that I am locked up as she is so nonchalant about it.  In the past, this would have really bothered me, but with the servitude and control I am yearning for.  If I wasn’t locked these past 11 days I would have snuck off at least once and had an unauthorized orgasm. The I would be less horny and start slacking in my duties. Chasity works!

Doing chores, locked up in chastity, Mistress ignoring my situation.  It's amazing how something that would have angered me in the past is now turning me on.  It's true what they say about changing your midset.  

I am learning to enjoy the fact that I am locked up solely for control and not for some kinky fantasy.  It is my intention to make my chastity as easy for Mistress to enforce as possible.  It's my hope that she gets aroused knowing that I am 100% chaste for as long as she chooses.  That being said I would love to cum in her terms. Whether it’s a full on orgasm with her, a ruined orgasm from her or a humiliating show she would make me put on, an occasional orgasm give a little bit of hope to keep me motivated.  I guess a tease, edge and denial would do the same thing. 

 

Progress better than expected

I’m a few days shy of 2 weeks in servant mode.  My 1st inclination is to feel that things aren’t going as well as I’d like l, which is true, but I must admit they are going far better than they could be going. In reality Mistress could have rejected my servitude outright. Here’s where we stand now. 

If I wake early enough I weigh myself, put on feminine deodorant and a small spray of perfume. Mistress shouldn’t have to smell my body odor and the scent goes straight to my brain as a submissive trigger.  I immediately do a quick 15 minute workout in whatever nighty I wore to bed to get the blood pumping. After that I set down and type a morning mantra for about 20 minutes. This weeks was “My only purpose is to serve and obey Mistress” 80 times with lines added for mistakes. I then check this blog for comments and then I take a bit of time to find motivation in servitude.

As soon as Mistress arises I start her coffee.  I prepare it the night before in case she gets up before me.  As she enjoys her coffee I make the bed  one day a week I must change the sheets and wash the dirty ones. Sheets used to be one of Mistress’s chores that she has happily placed on me.  I don’t like doing it, but for that reason I love that she is making me do it.  Last week and today I will be cleaning the shower and vanity.

Also in the morning I take the dog for a short walk and then feed him while Mistress is still lounging in her chair with her coffee.  Having her sit while I toil pushes all of my submissive buttons.  A normal guy would be resentful.  I worship this kind of behavior.

A short time later we go on a long walk together with the dog for our morning exercise.  Upon our return Mistress had me prepare her breakfast before I prepare mine. This too is new for us and I like it. While I’m cooking I look over at her on her phone playing games or scrolling Facebook ignoring me completely.  What a rush  

After breakfast I make sure all the dishes are done and then I go take a shower and shave my body.  

The rest of the day is work.  We both work from home so I can wait on her as needed. More often than not, Mistress makes lunch but I clean up. 

In the evenings one or both of us cooks dinner and I do the dishes.  I used to do the dishes when I wanted to but now I do them immediately after we eat to show my desire to keep serving in this capacity.  My fear is that if I wait too long to do a chore, Mistress will just do it herself which defeats the purpose.  My goal is to make me doing chores so much a part of our lives that when I drop the ball Mistress will call me out on it and hold me accountable.  

At bed time I go walk the dog one last time while Mistress gets ready for bed.  I brush my teeth and put on one of my nighties.  Mistress has reinstated the rule that I wear a nighty every night.  I don’t have to per se, but failure to do so indicates to her that my servitude is not sincere.  Sometimes it’s really hard to put on the nighty because the rest of our D/s life isn’t the way I want it.  I want to be told to do it.  This is why this reset is so important.  This is no longer exclusively how I want it.  Mistress’s needs and desires come before mine.

One new twist is that I got a little condescending with Mistress.  She told me to put on my chastity device which I did immediately.  I’ve now been locked since Tuesday and honestly hope to stay locked for a few months at a minimum.  If I wasn’t locked I would have seriously considered sneaking off and masturbating a couple of nights ago as well as this morning.  Being locked in chastity while being in non-sexual servitude mode is a real mind fuck.  Sleeping in chastity and a nighty definitely keeps my male ego in check.

I stared this post saying things aren’t going as well as I had hoped.  That’s true, but only because I tend to try to do too much too fast. I realize this now. We have started with a good foundation. Mistress is doing better than I expected with me doing chores while she lounges. She’s held me to a task a few times but not every time. I’m sure it’s hard to be extra bossy with your spouse when he’s pushed back for 13 years as I have. I have to prove myself. 

That being said I’m going to encourage Mistress to keep adding tasks to my daily routine. To put me to work when she sees me with free time as I spend far too much time on my phone. To slowly take away my freedoms. To punish me as necessary.  To take more control and to truly make me regret what I’ve requested.  I want her to feel empowered and turned on by making me do whatever she wishes. 

I can see a pushy bottom aspect to the previous paragraph which I why it’s purposely vague.  I want to be controlled but I can’t have a say in what that ultimately looks like.

Thinking the Unthinkable

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Spontaneous Orgasm - Ruined

 I have been locked in Chastity since Friday afternoon.  Self Locked.  It's been at least a couple of weeks since I have had an orgasm so I am feeling like I am due.  I have been working on my morning routine to make it less about me and more about service and learning.  I am getting up as soon as I wake up and am not going back to sleep.  I am putting on deodorant and a spray of perfume.  My perfume instantly goes to my brain and takes my submission several degrees deeper. The perfume sticks with me all day as a reminder and I truly think it helps keep my male ego down a few pegs.

I have now added a writing task to my morning.  https://writeforme.org/task/64d8c1f1953bc100370270a8

It's 80 lines that I am committed to typing every morning before I do anything else.  Yesterday when I set it up I had it set to add a line for every mistake.  I was making more mistakes than I was getting correct lines.  As I typed and watched my lines increase.  I felt an arousal but for no reason.  I realized I was cumming.  But how?  My cock hasn't had stimulation for days.  I was not hard. In reality, I wasn't even turned on but I was cumming.  What was happening?  It wasn't a little cum either.  I oozed through the holes in my chastity cage and messed the front of my panties.  How pathetic!

As best as I can figure out, as I watched my task get worse and worse the longer I went, I saw the hopelessness in what I was doing.  I imagined if this was truly a part of my life and not me doing this to myself how fucked I would be.  I would be writing for hours.  I truly felt helpless and being helpless in a Female Led relationship is absolutely what I yearn for.  Somehow it gave me an orgasm.  An orgasm with zero physical stimulation. An orgasm caused just by the “thought” of being given a hopeless task. A messy unfulfilling ruined orgasm that did nothing to take the edge off of my horniness.

Have you ever had an orgasm with literally zero physical stimulation?  If so, please tell me more.  I am fascinated by it.

For those that are commenting.  Thank you!  It makes my heart skip a beat knowing real people are reading about this side of my life.

 

Sissy Service

It was a Tuesday night and we were watching TV like we usually do when Mistress hit the pause button. 

She said “I have a surprise for you this Saturday and you know I can’t keep a surprise to myself, so I’m going to tell you now.  But before I do I want you to go put your chastity device.  Once you know what the surprise is you won’t be able to keep your hands off your little cock.”

I was shocked. It’s been along time since mistress talked to me this way. There was no way I wasn’t going to obey. I went and grabbed my most secure chastity device and put it on. I came back to the sofa and handed mistress the key.

She said, “wow, you’re really a desperate little slut aren’t you?”  I blushed and said “yes, Mistress”.

“This Saturday, we’re going to get up and walk the dog like we normally do. When we get back I’m going to go get ready while you make the dog’s breakfast. You will not be eating breakfast or lunch today. Once I’m ready I’m going to Starbucks for breakfast and to read. At 11 o’clock I have a pedicure and manicure appointment. After that I’m going to lunch and have a couple glasses of wine.  I’ll be gone 4-5 hours.”

“While I’m gone you will put your prostate massager in your tight ass. You’ll then put on your heavy steel collar. Then I want you to put on one of your bodysuits.  After that, spray 2 sprays of your slutty perfume on your chest, neck and wrists so the scent is penetrating your brain all day.”

“Once you are all prepared in your sissy uniform you will clean the entire house from top to bottom.  I want the floors vacuumed and scrubbed. I want the sinks and toilet so clean you can eat off them. I want the shower glass and all the mirrors spotless.  Every surface in the house better sparks. I don’t want to find one speck of dust.”

“If you do a good job I’ll let you kneel on the floor and use lotion to massage my newly manicured feet while I read. If you do a poor job you’ll stand nose against the wall holding up a pair of your dirty panties with your nose for an hour and then you’ll correct your mistakes while I supervise.”

“While I’m gone I want you to think about what you’ve become. So desperate for attention that you’ll do absolutely anything I say just to be my sissy servant while I go out and pamper myself.  This isn’t going to be a one time thing either.  We both know you NEED to be treated this way.  This is a great way for me to have more me time, for your submissive brain to be fed and for us to have a clean home.”  

“Well sissy, tell me what you think”. 

I reply, “Mistress you are absolutely correct. I do need this. The more strict you are with me, the more I am under your spell. I hate to admit it but this, but your cruelty and harshness soothes my soul in a way I can’t describe. I can’t wait for this Saturday to come.  Not because I want to spend the day cleaning, but because I don’t want to do that and you’re making me do it. I want to not only make you proud of my cleaning but my willingness to serve you without question.  My goal is to earn more and more harsh treatment.”

I spend the rest of the week straining in my chastity cage. Sleep is difficult because of all of the thoughts that are running through my head.  Mistress teases me and keeps reminding me of Sissy Saturday. Will mistress actually do this to me? I shudder thinking about the possibilities. It truly is the paradox of the submissive male  

A story with some reality

Below is a story of which many of the things written occurred and a few of them are completely fabricated.  I hope you like it. 

Mistress left town on a short trip.  She's only going to be gone for about 40 hours.  She flew out first thing in the morning which means we had to get up at 5am.  Mistress got up before me to start getting ready.  When I got up I immediately noticed my micro chastity device on the bathroom counter.

"Put it on," she said.  You're going to be so busy that you won't have time to touch yourself.  I'll be taking the keys with me."

I was in shock.  It's been years since we have had real D/S and even longer since I had been locked up by her.

I struggled to get into my smallest device with my hard-on but managed to stuff it in and hand the keys to Mistress.

We headed off to the airport.  On the way, we had small talk about everything that we had going on in our vanilla lives.  I pulled up to the terminal and Mistress told me she left instructions on the kitchen counter. She said the future of our Female Led Relationship would be determined by how well I followed instructions.  Before getting out of the car she gave me a deep kiss and patted my chastity device through my pants while giving a look that made my cock swell.

I rushed home to see what was in store for me.  After feeding the dog I found the letter left for me.

#1. Spray your perfume on (heavy).  I know your mind gets weak when you wear that slutty stuff.  I want your mind open and ready.

#2. Put on your heavy cable collar.  You're going to be wearing this a lot more.

#3.  Paint your pinky fingernails with my teal polish.  It will be enough to make you aware but not too much to go out.

#4. Put on some naughty women's underwear and one of your feminine tops that is not obvious and take the dog for a walk.  When this is done go to page 2.

I completed all of the tasks.  At first, I was paranoid about the top I had to wear but it was early and passable so it was no big deal.  

Here are the panty and top that I chose to wear.

On page 2, I read the following.

#4. When you get back, make yourself scrambled eggs for breakfast.  Put them on a plate and set the plate on the floor in front of a mirror.  Put on your pink cuffs and attach your hands behind your back and start eating.  Be careful.  If any egg falls on the floor you must lick it off the floor.  I am doing this to let you see how pathetic you are.  A 50+ year old man that will do this shows me just how much you will do to be treated harshly.  

#5.  After breakfast, I want you to snap your balls 6 times with the large rubber bands.  I will be inspecting for bruises when I get back so make it good. I managed to complete this.  It hurt, but not as bad as I had expected.  I was bruising easier than usual.

#6. Using your pink cuffs and handcuffs I want you to hog-tie yourself in a way that you can get out.  Put the key 15 feet away so you have to squirm to the keys.  Be sure your nipples are clamped for this.  I want your nipples raw.   After putting clover clamps on my nipples,I dropped the keys at one end of the room and locked my ankles together with one pair of cuffs.  I laid on my stomach and locked one cuff on one wrist and looped it through my ankles and closed the other cuff on the other wrist.  I was stuck.  I quickly realized that squirming on my belly wasn't going to work so I rolled onto my side and eventually to my back where I kept my butt raised and inched to the cuffs.  I was unlocked in about 5 minutes, but my thighs were stressed from my keeping my back off the tile.

#6.  Get to work.  You can't play all day.  While inside you will wear only women's clothes. Take out the dog as needed and put on male clothes over your feminine attire.  When you come back fronm waking the dog you have to put on something new and feminine.

#7.  At the top of every even hour (8, 10, 12, 2, 4) set a 5-minute timer and put on one nipple clamp.  After the 5 minutes are up, switch the clamp to the other nipple.  Do this until the top of the hour and take an hour off.

#8. After work go to the store for your shopping list and your dinner.  Wear your body stocking under your clothes.  When you get back, feed the dog and start your blog post.  Once you have the blog post updated get into something skimpy and scrub the bathroom top to bottom.  It had better sparkle or I will make you do it all over and will blister your ass. I don't care how long it takes.

#9.  When you are done, strip put some cuckold porn in your AirPods, tie yourself spreadeagle to the bed.  Set a timer and lie there for 2 hours listening to women getting fucked by men that are not their husbands.  Imagine this happening to you!

#10.  Add some perfume to your skin and go to bed.  Have Sweet Chasity Dreams.  I will text you all further instructions tomorrow.

The Cuckold Threat

 It’s been nearly a year since I’ve posted anything. Between running a company and traveling extensively there hasn’t been any D/S in my life in quite some time. It’s only very occasional where I lock myself in chastity, wear my steel cock ring, wear panties or put clothes pins on my nipples.  That being said I had a dream the other night that won’t leave my brain. I wanted to preserve it here as it’s still got me worked up. The dream wasn’t as elaborate as what I’m about to write but I’ve since had time to embellish it.  Here we go.

I dreamt that Mistress and I were in bed having standard missionary type sex. My cock buried deep inside her pussy while I try to get her to cum while keeping myself far enough from the edge to make sure she cums before I do. 

Usually during this time Mistress will say that she knows will push my buttons while twists my nipples, this make it VERY difficult for me to not get too close to the edge of cumming.  In my dream Mistress and I are having our usual hot talk when she says, “I’m going to start reinstating the rules, tasks and requirement I used to have for you”.  I lived for the days when I had a list of expectations that had to be followed so this quickly got my attention.

She continued, “This time however, I am going to ensure that you have real consequences for not meeting my demands”.  Oh my goodness. This is sounding like way more than our normal pillow talk.  She adds “In the past you’d weasel your way out of doing things you didn’t like in the hope of me punishing you in a way you wanted to be punished. This just created extra work for me to meet your kinky desires and didn’t benefit me in any way.”  

Now this has me even closer to the edge. This is some serious talk. I’ve always wanted our kinky life to get pushed past games and take on a more serious and lasting dynamic.  These comments got me nervously closer to the edge. 

Mistress proceeded to pick up her phone and show me a screen with a grid of pictures of men.  “Moving forward, when you don’t meet my expectations or do what you’ve agreed to do, I am going to use this dating app to find a man in whatever location we are in to go out on a date.”  I stop moving my hips. We’ve never talked about an open relationship and I have a hard limit of her seeing other men. 

Mistress then drops the phone and grabs my nipples. She wraps her legs around me and clenches her pussy against my cock that is already close to the edge. She says, “if you agree to my terms I want you to cum now”. My mind is spinning. No, I don’t want this. I want my kink, my way. I can be jealous and insecure. However, the control aspect is incredibly arousing, and to think we’d be moving back to a more Female Led Relationship has my curiosity peaked. 

Before I know it, I realize I’m cumming. I haven’t moved a muscle.  Mistress expertly twists my nipples and uses her pussy to take me over the edge. I start loudly mumbling, “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooooo” as I pump loads of cum into Mistress I realize I’m having a ruined orgasm and that my fate is sealed. I argue that my orgasm was a mistake and that I didn’t intend to agree to her terms. She said, “some part of your subconscious wanted you to cum and we both know we need to feed your subconscious little brain what it needs.  Now rule number one is that every time you cum, you need to eat all of your cum. Get to work cleaning me up or I’ll be going on a date tonight.”  Mistress releases her legs from their lock on my hips and I slowly move my face down her body to clean up my disgusting cum.

The dream ended at this point but my lizard brain hasn’t stopped there. I keep thinking about how this would look in reality. I imagine a list of rules. 

1. Clean up your cum every time you cum. 

2. You must initiate sex at least once a week. If I say, no, you will ask for permission to cum. If I say that you may you will proceed to strip and masturbate onto a plate. See rule #1.  

3.  You will go back to wearing feminine attire at night in bed.

4.  You will have my coffee ready to go the night before.

5.  You will get up with the dog every day. 

6.  You will be plugged 7 hours a week.  You decide how the 7 hours work (all at once or an hour a day, etc)

7.  You will do all dishes.

8.  You will request permission for every alcoholic beverage you wish to drink.  Expect to have this heavily controlled.

9.  You will request permission for any snack food you wish. 

10. You will wear panties every non travel day.  You will not wear them when we will see people we know. 

11.  Fingernails and toenails will be polished clear at all times unless another color is assigned.

12. You will wear your collar 24/7

13. You will go into chastity after every orgasm until I release you. I know how much you hate this, but it does get your mind in the right space faster. 

14.  You will address me as Mistress, Goddess, Queen, etc in private.

15.  You will never ask about my dates.

16.  You will drop me off and pick me up from my dates.

17.  You may not sleep when I am on a date. I want you to contemplate your station in life every time I’m out.

18.

19.

20.

If you’ve made it this far I’d love it if you’d add additional rules that you think should be included. Extra points for rules that benefit Mistress without hitting my kink buttons.  Comments are always appreciated. 

Back for now

Mistress and I have had a ton going on.  We started a business a little over a year ago and we have been busier than our wildest dreams.  It's been stressful so we have had more arguments than usual.  Nothing serious, but enough that we haven't engaged in kink in quite some time.

We also went on an extended road trip without any toys, feminine items, etc. 

Lastly, my extended time in small chastity devices appears to have caused my penis permanent damage.  I now have a medium upward curve to my penis from something called Peyronie's disease LINK. It doesn't affect much, but it means extended chastity is more or less off the plate.

Mistress and I have been home for a couple of weeks but I don't think it's appropriate to ask for D/s if she's not feeling it.  Because of that, I've been secretly doing things to myself.  I wear a silicone cock ring almost all day.  I have been locking myself into chastity for short periods of time (it's so addicting).  I have actually slept in chastity twice in the last week.  Mistress has fallen asleep on the couch and I've been a little drunk and extremely horny and that's how I have handled it.  I have worn panties almost every day since I have been home (I missed them more than I thought).  I wore a women's body shaper out of the house under my clothes to take the dog to the dog park and on the way home I exposed myself for the 5 mile drive through town.  I have never done anything like this before.  Scary but exhilarating!

As I type this I have my prostate massager in my ass.  It's the first time I have had anything in my ass for at least 6 months.  I missed this too.

My current fantasies are running through my head.

• Giving Mistress multiple orgasms while I have none.  
• Being locked in the dog kennel overnight.  Mistress has threatened this over the years, but I would hate/love to be forced to do.
• Long-term chastity.  Being locked regardless of the consequences.  Mistress likes my fingers more than my cock anyway.
• Public crossdressing. Now that the streets are so empty due to the coronavirus, I'd love to be forced to walk down a street dressed up.
• Secretary attire every day since we are sheltering in place.
• Fucking Machine Punishment
• Being tied down while the Venus 2000 penis pump gives me an orgasm, and then keeps going no matter how sensitive I am and keeps pumping until I cum again, no matter how long it takes.
• Crossdressing in a video chat room.

Have a great rest of your week.  Stay safe!

Orgasm Overload

When I was being denied orgasms for nearly the last 3 months I was really enjoying the neediness, desperation, and submissiveness that was created.

Now that I’ve cum a couple times I am craving more and more orgasms.  Instead of no orgasms, I’m wanting to be forced to orgasm until I’m begging to not cum. Since I came a couple weeks ago I can’t get this fantasy out of my mind.  I envision a couple different ways this would happen.

Mistress picks a weekend to indulge me and gives me a set of instructions. I am to be in our bed at the top of every even hour, naked and have 3 of my limbs self-restrained. We would have our Hitachi vibrator, Venus 2000 masturbation machine and a couple of masturbation sleeves available. Just before 8 am on a Saturday I head upstairs and restrain myself to the bed. Mistress comes in and pulls a blindfold over my eyes and restrains my untied arm and then walks around the bed tightening all of the remaining limbs.

She climbs onto the bed and lubes up my cock with coconut oil and stokes my cock until I get hard. She then mounts my cock and fucks me while I am tied down. She proceeds to tell me that she is going to take the whole weekend to milk me dry and unable to cum. She says she won’t be satisfied until I’m begging her to stop with tears in my eyes.  She tells me that we will start with the ways to make me cum. Her pussy. Her hand a masturbation sleeve. Once those no longer work she will move on to the heavy machinery of the Venus 2000 and the Hitachi. She says she’ll be adding certain elements such as nipple clamps, cock straps, butt plugs and other items that she knows pushes my buttons and gets me to orgasm faster. She also tells me to expect lots of post orgasm torture.

In no time I am at the edge and I ask for permission to cum. She tells me that this weekend I do not have to ask permission to cum but I do have to tell her when I am about to cum. I tell her that I am cumming and I quickly fill her pussy with a lot of cum. Mistress climbs off my cock and sits on my face and orders me to lick her clean. She then informs me that I will be eating as much of my cum as possible.  As soon as we are done Mistress releases my limbs, tells me to leave the wrist and ankle cuffs on and tells me to cook us breakfast.  We finish breakfast a bit before 9 o’clock and I work on straightening up my office.

My 10 o’clock orgasm is delivered by a very well lubricated hand and she doesn’t stop when I cum. I thrash in the bed until I’m exhausted and then Mistress feeds me a combination of cum and coconut oil from her fingers.  After each orgasm I am released and given something to do or we catch up on one of our TV shows.

At 12 o’clock I’m tied back in bed. Mistress uses her had again. It takes longer but I cum and eat it up again.  I’m sent off to run some errands with panties on under my clothes.

2pm - Mistress uses a masturbation sleeve. It takes me a while to get hard so Mistress applies nipple clamps. The pain makes my cock throb and Mistress forces another orgasm out of me.

4 PM - I’m having a hard time cumming so a cock strap and nipple clamps are added.  Mistress uses the Hitachi and is able to make me cum. She keeps it buzzing long after I cum and I am begging her to stop. 

6 PM - Mistress tells me to go insert a butt plug and head upstairs. Now she starts using the Venus 2000. This device can suck an orgasm out of guys that have erectile dysfunction and can’t get hard. It takes a while but a very uncomfortable orgasm rips from my body. This is starting to feel like torture.  I am instructed to leave the plug in.

8 PM - as I am about to head upstairs Mistress announces that I am done for the day. I am to remove my plug and we will start again at 8 am on Sunday.

I sleep very well, but also concerned about the next day.

I’d like to keep going but I also want to leave it a mental mystery. I do imagine there is a point where I can’t cum anymore.  I also imagine there is a point where I am having an orgasm, but since I can’t cum, the orgasm keeps going and doesn’t stop. I’m in heaven and hell at the same time. I’m pulling against my restraints because it feels so good, too good.  Cumming until I can’t cum anymore and still being forced to is an amazing fantasy of mine.

One other variation of my fantasy is not just orgasm overload but total overload.  Blindfold, earphones with white noise or porn playing in my ears. A gag. A heavy leather collar. Nipple clamps. A tightly laced corset.  Stockings and high heels. The e-stim plug in my ass.  I’m tied to the bed with the plug pulsing in my ass, the Venus stroking my cock and the Hitachi adding vibration wherever Mistress wants it.  For the next 4-5 hours, Mistress keeps the machines running.  Turning off and on. Changing the speed of the stimulation. Nipple clamps are removed and added back. The earphones are occasionally removed so that Mistress can fill my mind with things she knows pushes my buttons. After each orgasm, the machines relentlessly keep going. Making me scream in agony until the agony turns to pleasure again.

A boy can dream, right?

Now that I’ve got myself all worked up. I should stroke my cock through my panties to orgasm, but I won’t. I’ll post this and get to work.

Out Of Chastity - For Now

I've been too busy to post and am going to make this one short as I really don't have time now.

I am currently unlocked.  After 77 days (my 2nd longest lock up ever), we went on a trip, on a plane.  Mistress doesn't like me locked up on planes or in hotels as she likes easy access to my cock.  So far this year I have been locked for 171 days which is 2 days longer than last year, and we still have 4 months left in the year.

One thing that happened over the last 77 days is that my cock now seems to have a permanent upwards hook on the tip of my cock.  Best as I can tell, when I would get hard in the cage and my cock wasn't in the best position to get hard, it would bunch up at the end of the cage with the tip pointing up.  We're still doing some research, but it's likely this hook will reach Mistress G-spot even better.

So far I have had 2 orgasms since I have been unlocked.  The first one I was too excited in Mistress and I didn't have permission to cum.  I stopped long before I thought I was at the edge and my cock pumped months worth of cum inside Mistress.  While the orgasm was unfulfilling, being inside of her was indescribably amazing!  It had been so long.  The 2nd orgasm was much more fulfilling and I am looking forward to my next one.

I have also been able to edge again.  In the 12 days since I have been unlocked, I have edged 9 of these days a minimum of 8-10 edges each time.  If I had time right now I would be edging and possibly decide to go over the edge.

I have now had 9 orgasms, but only 5 authorized.  I absolutely love not having control of my orgasms.  I'm out of time and have to run.