9 to 5

Last night found me tied down to the bed with a blindfold on.  My Mistress alternating between stroking my cock, smacking me in the balls or hitting me with various implements on my inner thigh (no bruises today though).  We chatted about my post from yesterday and she commented that me in a sub role would be her preference.  Mainly to show her friend the power a woman can wield with a man and the rush she gets.  MBB then told me she was going to ruin my orgasm.  I begged her not to.  I would rather have a full one or none at all.  I did get a little lucky though. She waited until cum actually started shooting out.  By then I was half way into my orgasm, so I got to have some of that awesome orgasm feeling.  My horniness went from a 9 to a 5.  Darn-it!

This morning's self edging had me thinking about what her and her friend would do to me if they could...

MBB's Friend

I wanted to thank Miss Bossy Bitch for bossing me around lately.  Yesterday I painted my toenails pink, my fingernails clear.  My mind had a little bit of a submissive buzz while painting my nails.  I also had to sleep in a nighty last night.  The nighty was a total mind fuck, because part of the night I couldn't sleep, but I could certainly feel the fabric of the nighty surround me as well as the padded cups giving me breasts.  Add that to the morning edging and I am getting to be quite a mess.  Thank you again MBB!

Mistress Bossy Bitch also happened to mention that she and a friend of hers have recently spoken and intend to meet up.  The only reason this even comes up is that this friend, (I'll call her Miss J) knows about our lifestyle and has expressed some interest in trying some submissive type activities   MBB even offered to let me crop Miss J a while back although nothing came of that.  Now I don't think anything would ever happen, but it doesn't mean my teased and denied brain doesn't have a mind of it's own.  While edging this morning, I thought of a few things.

With me as a submissive...

• Serving MBB and Miss J wine and dinner while I wore a suit or some other "uniform".  I would not be allowed to drink or eat with them as my role would be purely to serve.

• Being made to watch MBB and Miss J be sexual with each other while tied up or locked in a cage.

• MBB using me to teach Miss J how to Domme her husband.

• Miss J would push MBB to be more strict and demanding of me by giving her moral support.

• MBB would have Miss J hold the key to my chastity device.

• Having Miss J meet Sophia (the name MBB has given me when I cross-dress).  I imagine this would horrify me even though it was in my thoughts this morning.

• Be made to Chauffeur MBB and Miss J to dinner, drinks clubs, etc.  I would have to stay in the car.

• Forced cum eating.

• Double penetrated with strapons.

With me and MBB as Dom and Domme (while I mostly like to bottom I think I am a  pretty good Top, but MBB doesn't like to switch)...

• Crop, Cane and Single Tail Miss J.

• Put Miss J in some difficult predicament positions.

• Forced Orgasms - no stopping.

• Electricity!

To reiterate, I have no illusions (or real desire) of any of the above happening and Miss J isn't my type at all.  Things I wouldn't normally consider become easy to think of in my current state of mind.        

Helpless

I must start with a thank you to my Mistress for giving me an order this morning.  I was instructed to paint my toenails pink and my fingernails with clear polish.  At first I thought I was to paint my fingernails pink too.  My heart skipped a beat knowing I would be looking an pink fingernails all day.  I clarified that it was to only be clear nail polish.  Either way, I was slightly humiliated at the thought, and instantly got hard thinking about it.  I'm not sure how I acted after she told me to do this.  I have a hunch it might have come across as indifferent or something less than enthusiastic, but I want to ensure that she knows it means the world to me that she gave me a task to do.  I am very excited to do as told.

This morning's edging had to do with being helpless.  We have been catching up on episodes of the TV show Dexter.  Every time he has a victim on his table I can;t help but think of my kink.  Being plastic wrapped to a table, naked, head immobile, I can think of so many better (naughtier) things to do other than kill the person. This morning I imagined MBB wrapping me up and causing major discomfort, breath control, CBT, etc.  The helplessness of it all gets me all hot and bothered.

Tease and Denial

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Erotic Humilation

Let me start by thanking MBB for making me wear a nighty to bed last night.  There is no way to sleep in a nighty and not think about kinky things.  Every time I moved positions I had to adjust the nighty and that would remind me of my place and my mindset.  The nighty is what made today's edging fantasy very easy to come up with.  Erotic Humiliation, here are things that while mild to very humiliating, I find very hot.

Panties
Wearing a bra any time but particularly in public
Wearing pantyhose
Wearing lip gloss or tinted lip balm in public
Clear mascara
Clear nail polish
Colored nail polish , I can actually feel it on my nails, but seeing it is extra humiliating
Fake nails - typing all day would be a mind fuck
Collar

Masturbating in front of MBB
Wearing anything feminine in front of MBB
Feminine jewelry - toe ring, anklet, piercing items

 

Wearing Pantyhose with shorts in the summer.  Being made to get out of the car (ATM, Gas)
MBB taking Sophia for a drive
Going on a trip together and finding only toys and femme clothes in my luggage
Anything to do with my cum, especially more humiliating after orgasm
Fucking myself in the ass with a toy in front of MBB
Femme fake tattoo on lower back - have temp tramp stamp in nightstand drawer
Temp Tattoo anything, anywhere

Using Sharpie Pen to write on my body - lot's of ideas come to mind here

Femme deodorant, perfume, etc.
Being outed
Dog cage

Sucking strap on
Shocking dog collar - because I am such a wimp when it's on me
Bikini sun bathing
Sleep in bondage
Webcam exhibitionism











Milking myself with anal toy
Shopping for embarrassing items
Standing in corner
Made to watch MBB masturbate while in chastity
Hogtied inches away from MBB pussy and can only watch
Fucked in the ass while in chastity

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_humiliation

Wow.  It's amazing what a little edging does to me.

Today's Fantasy - A Good Beating

This morning while edging I was thinking about how long it has been since I had a good beating.  I'm not big into pain, but there is something very cathartic about having to endure such a thing.  The endorphin release, the loss of control, and enduring such a thing does something.  Not to mention the marks that are left afterward.

I was imagining being tied face down to start.  MBB would start with medium smacks across my ass with a leather strap and an occasional harder hit.  From there she would start at my feet, smacking the soles until I yelped in pain.  Then she would move up and hit my calves and thighs and then my upper back.  A few well placed smacks to my cock and balls would also be added.  Once I was sufficiently warmed up, she would use a cane on me.  I imagined her hitting me hard enough to get me struggling and breathing nicely and then she would back off.  Alternating implements she would go from my feet to my ass.  I also imagined her telling me she wanted me to safe word 3 times before the beating would stop.  By now I would have so many endorphin's rushing through me that  I would do my best not to safe word no matter what.

I also thought about tortures other than beatings, electricity, ball busting, hot candle wax, clothespin zipper.  All things that would have me begging her to stop and a couple would put terror in my eyes.

Now I haven't done much recently to deserve such treatment.  As I said catharsis would be one good aspect of it, but if my Mistress didn't want to beat me just for the sake of beating me (or becuase it turns her on) then I know there have been a couple transgressions over the last year I still haven't paid for :-)

Today's Fantasy - Servicing Mistress

For this morning's edging exercise I fantasized about being Mistress' tool.  I got very hot and bothered about being made to service herr in any way she desired without any though of my own pleasure.  Different ways I thought of were...

• I awaken to her touching me to wake me up.  As soon as she can tell I am awake, she tells me she wants my cock inside her and to help her get wet.  She has me fuck her until she cums and tells me she is done with me.
• Before bed she tells me to pull out her glass dildo and use it on her while we make out. After she orgasms as much as she wants she tells me to cleanup her toy and get to bed, again denying me.
• On her way home from work I get a text to have the blind fold and dildo gag out by the time she gets home from work.  She calls me when she is close to home and tells me to be on the bed wearing my clothes as well as the gag and blindfold.  I hear her come home, come up the stairs, and get undressed and lie on the bed.  She then has me fuck her until she is done using me.
• She makes me lie in bed next to her with my eyes closed while she masturbates herself before bed at night.
• She has me go down on her while she watches one of her shows.
• She has me use my fingers to make her cum and cum, all the while teasing me about not getting any myself.
• Doing all of these while locked in chastity made it even more hot in my mind.

That's what got me going early this morning!

Starting Up Again

I have decided to start doing a daily posting again.  I also started my daily edging again.

Today's edging had me fantasizing about being tied on my back.  MBB is fucking me in my ass with her strap-on and at the same time a large dildo is in my mouth.  MBB would push down on the dildo occasionally, while verbally teasing me about taking two cocks.  When she wasn't pushing on the dildo in my mouth, she was expecting me to push it out and then suck it back in.  She would then stroke my cock in rhythm with my sucking of the cock.  She tells me that if I want to cum I had better go faster as she will not stroke me any faster than I suck. She also tells me not to give up, because if I don't suck enough to get an orgasm I will go into chastity for a week without being let out.  After I orgasm she teases me about "sucking cock just to get an orgasm".

Here are a couple pictures that are part of the equation.

In my head

Wow.  Last night was a huge surprise that I can't get out of my head.  I absolutely loved the lack of control and the vulnerability I experienced.  I didn't like the smacks inside the thighs or on my cock and balls, but I kept my legs open to receive them.  I have marks today I love and wish I had more of.  I didn't like sleeping in a nighty or in chastity, but I wanted to endure it.  A side benefit was all the thoughts that ran through my head each time I woke up with a hard on that had no where to go.  Even though you forced me to have an orgasm, I am on 10 today because of how you treated me.  

I'm sorry I get pushy.  I love being abused (in both good and bad ways) by you and don't appreciate that enough.  Just thinking about it has me all sub spacey right now.  Thank you for hurting me.  I love you!

Your slave, whenever you want.

Christmas Shaming (a story)

An excerpt from this hot story... link here  A Massage Parlour Shaming for Xmas

I told David I was taking him out for his early Christmas present today, and that he needed to dress appropriately. Maybe he was thinking a Christmas recital or something? I doubt it! I told him that "appropriately" meant in his pretty frilly pink panties underneath. He knew now that I had something kinky and humiliating up my sleeve for him, but he did not know what. Good thing is that he's always game, so he groaned a bit (he wasn't serious) and did as he was told.

It's tough to stay updated

With colds, work, travel, and everything else in life it can be hard to keep a blog or diary updated.  It's especially difficult when D/s thoughts are not at the forefront of the brain.  Today is an exception to that as I woke up in mood.

MBB got up very early today to get things done at work.  That was part of the reason I couldn't sleep, but the main reason was all the naughty stuff going through my mind.  It was like a switch flipped this morning for some reason.  I am thinking that since I started working out again and started eating more/better, my testosterone must be rising.  Apparently not working out and eating very little or crappy causes testosterone to drop quite a bit.  It probably also has something to do with my last orgasm being 13 days ago as listed on the right side of this blog page.

Here is some of the stuff that was running through my mind.

Last week I traveled out of town.  I had been fantasizing that MBB would have tied me down (or up), and gave me a good beating on my ass.  That way my entire trip I would remember it every time I sat down, especially in an airplane seat.  I had also fantasized about her packing my underwear for the trip.  MBB and I had talked in the past about using panties as cum towel that would eventually find it's way in my mouth as a gag. This morning I replayed what that would have looked like in my mind and wished I had the balls to ask for that before I left.

A recurring fantasy has also been about being tied up in uncomfortable, stressful ways.  Ways that would make me wish I wasn't tied up (if that's at all possible).  Being put in the stocks in heels keeps running through my mind, and for some reason this morning I thought about having the ring gag in my mouth at the same time, drooling all over embarrassingly.  I also think about predicament bondage where I get to choose what happens, and both options suck.  When MBB and I first met, I put her in a predicament position with the legs in the air tied to a string above her with clothespins on her nipples.  She had to choose when her legs hurt enough to pull the clamps.  It was hot!

I have also been thinking about a long teasing session where every time I tell MBB I am about to cum she causes some sort of pain to me.  A hit to the balls, removing a nipple clamp, a rubber band snapping my skin.  Something that would bring me back from the edge and frustrate me that I couldn't cum either.

And as always, femme ideas some into my mind whenever I go this long without cumming.  There is something about wearing taboo items that escalates the process.

Back to work...

    

Girl on Girl

I think I found my new favorite site.  There is something so hot about 2 women together, especially in a D/s way.

http://mistressanastasia.tumblr.com/

Fits and Starts and CBT

For the last month my MBB and I have been sick.  We have sex a couple times, but very little D/s.  D/s takes some work and effort, and I don't think either one of us has been up for that (as you can tell by my missing posts).

In the interest of getting started again I was going to write about the idea of doing some breath play, but with my cough, it doesn't sound very fun.  As a back up, I have been thinking about this for some time, but haven't had the guts to post it.

MBB and I have some fun with teasing and orgasm denial.  Part of the deal is, if I cum without permission we don't play or I get punished.  I am also to tell her anytime I am close to cumming.  This allows her to decide what to do with me.  Recently she started ruining my orgasms by stopping them just as they start.  I really do believe they are worse than no orgasm or an orgasm that goes too far.  I have been thinking about MBB tell me to prepare myself on the bed y restraining myself.  As an added touch, I would either put on my neoprene ball stretcher witch put my ball in a tight little package (ripe for abuse) or to tie my balls with a thin rope to the foot board nice and tight so they stay in one place, or a combination of the stretcher and the rope.  MBB would then finish restraining me.  In my mind I would be blindfolded and gagged.  MBB would then tell me that I had to tell her when I was about to cum while she stroked my cock.  She would get me to the edge several times.  One of these times she would stop stroking and start smacking my balls.  I start screaming and struggling.  She would scold me saying I must not have been very close since I didn't cum, and then she explaina to me that the only way I can cum is from my balls being smacked.  She advises me to tell her when I am a little closer but if I cum without her smacking my balls, she will still smack them but not until after I am all sensitive.  I beg her to stop (gagged or not) and she starts stroking me again nice and slow.  The next time I tell her I am close she stops to make sure I didn't already start cumming.  The next time I tell her I am cumming, she strokes until she knows it's a sure thing.  She stops stroking my cock and starts smacking my balls.  The pain is intense, but it pushes me over the edge.  The orgasm is amazing, but so is the pain.  She doesn't stop smacking until the cum stops and I am screaming and almost in tears.  She has done it.  She has given me an orgasm, but made it terrible at the same time.

The above excites me but scares me too.  The excitement is more exciting than the fear though.

Delayed post

Due to recent colds, and life happening, I haven't posted in a little over a week.  Although D/s isn't big in our life right now, it still exists in small ways.  Sunday I was tied to the bed and had a ruined orgasm.  Yesterday I had to update my toenail polish.  Today found me wearing crotch-less fishnet pantyhose with no panties when I did a presentation at one of my customer's offices.  In the next hour or so I will be wearing my butt plug until my Mistress gets home and tells me it's ok to remove my plug. Considering my cold, I am surprised how horny I am. I am certainly in a mood.  It's nice to not have any say in what MBB wants from me.  It's actually kind of freeing.  I am so in love with her.

Dungeon equipment - suspension

MBB have a dungeon in our basement.  It's small, but has lots of items.  A winch suspended from the ceiling is one of these items.  Here are some things that can be done with a winch.

Weekly Post

I am very glad MBB and I discussed getting our Female Led Relationship back on track.  We have been ramping back up nicely.  It seems to me that MBB is getting more comfortable bossing me around.  As her confidence increases, she will be demanding more and more of me as her submissive.  We have had sex 3 times in the last week, and only one of those times have I had an orgasm.  I can easily see us having sex 4-6 times a week with no release for me.  I like the idea of being her tool for pleasure.  There is nothing hotter than being told to take off my pants and to fuck her as long as she wants.  It reminds me of our first 6 months of dating where she would tell me "when we get home, go upstairs, get naked, and get the ropes out."  While ropes would be nice, I have committed to pleasing Mistress on her terms.  It turns me on immensely to see what her idea of a D/s relationship is without her being too influenced by what I want.  The more I think about doing it her way and how it might be much different than a fantasy I have built up in my head, the more real it seems.  Submitting to her on my terms is play.  Submitting to her on her terms will be a great way to get deep into my soul.

This week also brings something new.  Every day, I am to have my butt plug in before Mistress gets home from work.  Normally she will have me plug myself during the day, which is fine, but to be plugged in her presence will definitely be more interesting.  My head is spinning just a tad at the thought of preparing myself for her in this way.  My mind quickly starts thinking about the future and other things she may have me do before she gets home from work.  It's very easy to deny wearing women's clothes, wearing butt plugs or any other task she has me do when I am by myself.  It's a whole other level for me to do these things in front of her and impossible to deny.  I think it's more mentally effective for me to do these things in her presence.

Also, I am back to my morning schedule of 10 minutes of edging before getting out of bed.  It's an effective way of getting my head back in the game after my orgasm a couple days ago.  I was also instructed to move the webcam in my office so it shows me and my monitors.  There is a certain mind fuck about knowing I can be watched at any time without my knowledge.  Lastly, I have been told that today is a no porn day.  MBB thought it would be tough for me to edge without porn, it's not.  All I have to do is replay some of our scenes in my head, or imagine things MBB may have me do in the future.  My brain is pretty good about making it's own porn.

I am a very lucky man indeed.

Blogs that I look forward to reading...

Here are a few blogs that I can identify with.  They are inspirational of how a Female Led Relationship could work. The thing I like most is they seem to be based on relationships or concepts that work in real relationships, not some fantasy world that is too hard to maintain.

#1 A Lazy Domme's Guide -  I chose "Lazy Domme" not because I don't enjoy topping, but because I have to fit my play into a busy life.

http://lazydomme.blogspot.com/

Posts of Interest (that I haven't already shared)
http://lazydomme.blogspot.com/2011/07/classical-conditioning.html
http://lazydomme.blogspot.com/2011/04/punishments-done-right.html
http://lazydomme.blogspot.com/2011/06/erotic-blackmail.html
http://lazydomme.blogspot.com/2011/07/humiliation-in-private.html

#2 Becoming a Mistress - A Blog for the Average Woman by Mistress Ivey

http://mistressivey.blogspot.com/

Posts of interest
http://mistressivey.blogspot.com/2011/12/what-about-your-fantasies.html
http://mistressivey.blogspot.com/2011/09/it-about-you.html
http://mistressivey.blogspot.com/2011/10/pushing-envelope.html
http://mistressivey.blogspot.com/2012/09/teasing-with-tenga.html

#3 Strict Julie Spanks - One day my husband came to me and asked to be spanked. I tried it, and liked it! Now he may be getting more than he bargained for! 

Posts of Interest

http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2012/04/strict-ball-gagging.html

http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2012/07/i-spanked-trina.html

http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2012/07/good-little-cock-sucker.html

http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2012/07/husband-taught-his-place-in-front-of.html

#4 Miss Marie – Her Blog has been removed.

I really liked her and her subs dynamic.  Too bad she gone…

Some Eye Candy For Mistress

More than a few times MBB has told me she would love to see me with a man.  She likes gay porn and even TS porn.  I can see the appeal of it for her, but try and try as I might, I can't reconcile actually doing it in my brain.  I am not gay or bi, so it doesn't do anything for me.  I can see the fantasy part of it, (especially how brutal some of the gay BDSM porn I have seen can be) but if I was actually in that situation I would freak out badly  That being said, I am all for strapons, and anything a guy can do to another guy, I would be ok with MBB doing it to me with a strap on.  It's also pretty hot when she teases me about making me be with a man.

The pics below are situations I think MBB would love to see me in...

Fitting - found online

He felt so conflicted; at once excited by the novelty of her ‘little game’, and at the same time apprehensive as to how far it might go.

The week of self denial had been easier than he expected. It had been harder when she had teased him earlier in the week, but mercifully she had refrained for the last couple of days. This evening however, as she stroked and teased, he realized how easily she had used his frustration. How smoothly he had been maneuvered into apparently playful bondage. As her touch made him involuntarily strain against the wrist straps he was startled at how securely he was held, how helpless she made him feel.

Most embarrassing were the questions, and his involuntary responses. She was peeling away the secret layers of his soul, and each new revelation was being used against him. It was no use denying his desire to be humiliated. She had almost made him explode when she started to tease him about dressing him up and letting her friends come over and have him serve them drinks and snacks. And now, even as she quickened her pace again, she was suggesting that he didn't deserve to cum this week, and as his excitement grew he found himself agreeing.  How far will she go?

today's thought process

Last week, Mistress told me this weeks scene would not be pleasurable for me.  It would entail pain and most likely some bruising on my part.  Last night she indicated to me that my full balls were on her list of targets as well.  That has had me nervously thinking about what will happen.  These pictures came to mind.