What I did

Mistress was out of town for a couple of days but is coming back this evening.  I had some alone time for the first time in over a year.  So what did I do?

First I wore my feminine outfit until I had to get ready to leave the house.  When I did leave the house I wore a vinyl thong with a built-in cock ring.  When I got home that night I put on my pink lounge clothes. 

When it was time to go to bed, I had one thing to try.  I have been wanting to see if it's possible for me to have an anal orgasm with no stimulation on my cock.  I have tried this before without success, but this time I had success.  I used my Aneros prostate massager as well as the Hitachi.  It took me quite a while to find the right combination of D/s items and vibration, but eventually, I did it!  I needed some extra stimulation so I used a spider gag to imaging being fore fed my cum.  I wore nipple clamps as well as a cock and ball strap.  Of course, I had to wear something feminine since I was trying to cum like a girl.

The next morning I had to run some errands and decided to dress up under my clothes. These look like grandma panties, but in reality, they are a thong in the back so my ass cheeks stick out.  Perfect spanking panties as the ass is framed perfectly for aiming a spanking implement.

When I got home I decided to play with my Venus 2000.  I ended up tease torturing myself, not allowing me to get close to the edge.  I wasn't able to do this very long as I wanted to cum very badly, which I did.  It was amazing!  If only I was tied up and Mistress kept me going like this for hours without cumming.

As I was getting the toys out of the storage area, I ran across a bullwhip I bought Mistress years ago.  I playfully smacked myself with it about 15 times.  Just enough to make it sting, but nothing I consider very hard.  Imagine my surprise when I see that I am marked by these fairly light flicks of the whip.  This really, really wants me to experiment more with the whip

Bummed it's out of focus

Well, that's it for playtime.  I have to put everything up and clean up the house before Mistress gets home.  I may have to wear something naughty to go pick her up at the airport.  I sure did miss her.  This kind of play is so much more fun with Mistress.

  

  

Out Of Chastity - For Now

I've been too busy to post and am going to make this one short as I really don't have time now.

I am currently unlocked.  After 77 days (my 2nd longest lock up ever), we went on a trip, on a plane.  Mistress doesn't like me locked up on planes or in hotels as she likes easy access to my cock.  So far this year I have been locked for 171 days which is 2 days longer than last year, and we still have 4 months left in the year.

One thing that happened over the last 77 days is that my cock now seems to have a permanent upwards hook on the tip of my cock.  Best as I can tell, when I would get hard in the cage and my cock wasn't in the best position to get hard, it would bunch up at the end of the cage with the tip pointing up.  We're still doing some research, but it's likely this hook will reach Mistress G-spot even better.

So far I have had 2 orgasms since I have been unlocked.  The first one I was too excited in Mistress and I didn't have permission to cum.  I stopped long before I thought I was at the edge and my cock pumped months worth of cum inside Mistress.  While the orgasm was unfulfilling, being inside of her was indescribably amazing!  It had been so long.  The 2nd orgasm was much more fulfilling and I am looking forward to my next one.

I have also been able to edge again.  In the 12 days since I have been unlocked, I have edged 9 of these days a minimum of 8-10 edges each time.  If I had time right now I would be edging and possibly decide to go over the edge.

I have now had 9 orgasms, but only 5 authorized.  I absolutely love not having control of my orgasms.  I'm out of time and have to run.

  

Reflecting on Chastity

Today is my 60th straight day in chastity. If Mistress keeps me locked for another 15 days, I will have spent more time in chastity this year then I did all of last year.  If she keeps me locked up for another 33 days, it will break my old record of 92 days of being locked up.

Last July I had 3 orgasms, one of which was unauthorized when we went on a trip around our state. This July, zero. 

I’ve had 8 orgasms this year of which 4 were unauthorized and those unauthorized orgasms are why I’m locked right now. I don’t deserve to have access to my cock as I can’t be trusted.

Last night I managed to get Mistress to tell me that she has had at least a few orgasms while I’ve been locked up. I wish she would tell me when she does this because I absolutely love the mind fuck aspect of her being able to masturbate while I can’t. And that she can cum as much as she wants and I can’t cum at all. It’s a chastity slave’s biggest turn on.

I’m really, really wanting to pleasure Mistress with my mouth, my fingers and any toys we have.  I want to be close and intimate, give her pleasure and make her cum.  However, I also want to be needy, desperate, denied, locked, tortured, willing to do anything and addicted to my situation.  I fantasize about making out with Mistress, my hands all over her body, my fingers inside her, making her cum over and over.  My cock is completely ignored while Mistress pinches my nipples while telling me she has no intention of unlocking me any time soon.  The frustration of being so intimate and sexual with Mistress while I am completely denied makes my head spin.

So that’s where I am today. Locked, denied, frustrated, and loving it. 

Some captions that make me squirm...

Addicted to Denial

As I approach 7 straight weeks of being locked in chastity I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my chastity journey. I got my first device almost 20 years ago. For many years I hated chastity because my partner(s) we’re not overly involved with it. I also disliked it because I never really found a device that fit and was comfortable for long term wear including a super expensive custom device.  Here is what is running through my mind.

A shorter/smaller device is better. A lot of guys get a device thinking that it has to accommodate an erection. It does not. 99% of the time a guy is not hard.  A larger device just gets in the way of normal day to day life.  My current device cost less than $30 and is the best device I own for comfort and long term wear. For the last 7 weeks I have ridden my bike, been camping, gone hiking,  worked on vehicles and worked in the yard in 95-degree heat all without any issues.  I actually have a much, much smaller device that I want to endure for a few days but haven’t had the guts. Chastity doesn’t always have to be comfortable 😈

I was going back through my chastity logs. It turns out I am rarely in chastity in the summer months. This has likely been due to me not really having the right device. Trying to ride a bike or working around the house in the summer heat was always a challenge. Now my device is so comfortable and I’m so conditioned to wearing it that I often forget it’s there. I’ve worn my device so much this year that when I was unlocked it felt unnatural. I kept reaching into my pants to make adjustments and realized I wasn’t wearing it.

Much like one gets used to wearing glasses, a nightguard, a retainer a knee brace or some other device on their body I have gotten used to this.  I’ve worn a night guard for many years and wish I didn’t have to, but if I want to keep my teeth I have to. The same with chastity.  I want to give Mistress 100% control of not only my orgasms but also any pleasure I might receive.  I want to her to have absolute control over my cock and a device is the only way to do that.

Reading some other chastity aficionado's websites it seems that long term chastity and denial increases the same drugs in the brain as falling in love.  Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins increase and swim around in my brain giving me a sensual all-day buzz.  I’ve become addicted to these chemicals and really fear accidentally cumming or being forced to cum and losing the buzz. That’s why I’m dedicated to pleasuring Mistress while I stay frustrated and denied.

That’s enough for today. I have to get to work.

Not me, but a picture of the same device I have but haven't worn, it's about 1 inch long.

Another microdevice getting good reviews called "the nub"

Getting stimulation where I can

I am now 7 weeks without an orgasm and almost 7 weeks locked in chastity with no stimulation whatsoever to my cock.  My dopamine levels are off the charts.  I am consumed by submissive and desperate thoughts.  Mistress has been getting up before me lately which used to be my prime time for edging myself and possibly cheating and cumming, especially when I am denied this long.  I told her as much and she suggested that maybe we need to make my chastity forever to which my heart skipped a beat and my brain turned to mush.  Maybe we do...

This morning would have been an extra easy day to masturbate.  Mistress had an early meeting which would have given me ample time to get myself off in my home office.  But since I am locked, I cannot do that.  Because of this lack of stimulation to my cock, I have been craving other stimulation.  However, since Mistress and I work from home together, I can't really do much without her instructions or her permission.

After my shower this morning I put on a bit of extra perfume and lilac deodorant.  I then went to my feminine dresser drawers as my feminine closet in the extra room is currently inaccessible.  I put on a woman's pair of blingy Bermuda length jean shorts and a white tank top with lace around the collar and armholes.

I also put in my prostate massager, and the stimulation is amazing.  I did some chores around the house ensuring that my prostate got plenty of attention.  I am now sitting on it while I type this as well as wearing a clothespin on one nipple that I switch every few minutes when it the pain dulls.

I have allowed myself this indulgence for another 20 minutes while I work before going back to my male mode.  The stimulation is nice but it really isn't helping like I thought it would.  It is making my desperation even worse.  Ugh.

I don't normally like drawings, but this one made me a bit jealous of his situation as well as the outfit she is wearing to go to sleep :-)

  

Sex while locked

Thursday night I stayed up working late. Mistress was exhausted and went to bed while I stayed up and finished working on a problem deal we have in our business. When I wrapped up what I was working on I was too energized to sleep.  Being as horny as I am, I decided to surf some porn.  I turned to my old Tumblr feed https://mbbsboy.bdsmlr.com/

I hadn’t been on Tumblr since they decided to no longer allow posts of adult sexual content. Boy was I wrong. Apparently, they have not had much success getting rid of this content. Within a couple minutes, I came across a video of a couple. The guy was lying on his back and he was locked in chastity. He was wearing a strap-on with a dildo that I’m guessing was about twice as large as he was. He was locked so there is no way of knowing for sure.  His Mistress proceeded to climb on top of his fake cock in the same way I have seen Mistress climb on top of my cock many times. She proceeded to make love with her man and his substitute cock. For about 12 minutes she rode him hard, having multiple orgasms. She never stopped moving her hips.  If she was riding his real cock the same way I can’t imagine him not coming in just a few minutes, ending her fun. During and after this scene she kept telling him how much she loved this new cock and how much she was loving a proper fucking. The other thing I noticed is that it looked like they were having real sex. His hands caressed her body like nothing was different. He was moaning, but I’m sure it was out frustration and not stimulation. As I sat there watching this I was extremely turned on. I was on my 2nd glass of wine after Mistress went to bed and was wishing I could drop my pants and stroke my cock and cum into the trash can beside my desk. But there is no more sneaking orgasms any more for me.  I am owned. 

Since I saw that video my mind has been racing with ways for Mistress and me to have sex while still denying me.  The scene above is one way. The nice thing about a strap on is that all sex is still possible (for Mistress) and we can still hold each other and be close. The other nice thing is that a strap-on can last longer than me. As long as I’ve been locked I’d be lucky to last more than 4-5 minutes and I would have to keep stopping to last that long. Another option is our cock sheath. It’s thick enough that I shouldn’t be too stimulated, but the risk is that I could be because I am just so sensitive right now. Lastly, we always have the fucking machine.  I don’t have any cuckold fantasies other than watching this machine fuck Mistress while I stay locked.  That would be such a mindfuck. 

Going back to my last post, the ladies lounge pant that Mistress bought me and the tank I was wearing has really gotten me going. Yesterday we had to get up early and get the house ready for the cleaning people. Instead of putting in my make clothes when I woke up, I put on my new outfit and got to cleaning. I fantasized that our new routine would be that on the night before the cleaning people come, I am to wear something feminine and clean up the downstairs while Mistress goes to bed without me. There is something about starting my day dressed in something feminine. 

Today is my 45th day in a row of being locked up. I have been locked 139 days YTD which means I have only been unlocked for 55 days all year. 30 more days and I will have surpassed my most locked up year ever. The best part is that Mistress really does seem to be enjoying my situation and she’s done an amazing job of reminding me of her control over me and that by days of cumming without permission are over.  Her enjoyment of my predicament is a dream come true for a guy like me.

Chastity and Orgasm Update

I have been tracking the amount of time I spend in chastity for almost 5 years.  I have also been tracking my orgasms for almost 7 years.  My chastity tracking is pretty accurate as that was never a secret with Mistress.  My orgasm tracking, on the other hand, didn't become accurate until last year when I started tracking the times I have cum without permission.  I wasn't about to put in writing all of the times I came without permission to avoid punishment. 

Nowadays, I am to the point of wanting very strict orgasm control.  Notice that I don't say orgasm denial, but orgasm control.  Do I want to be denied?  Absolutely.  I want to be more denied than I ever have, but that's not up to me.  I want Mistress to control my pleasure or preferably my lack of pleasure 100%.  I was fairly good on the honor system, but not good enough.  Chastity is keeping the control portion of my desires intact. 

So we are almost half way through 2019.  Here is where things stand. 

Orgasms

  

By this time last year, I only had 5 orgasms.  None of them unauthorized.

Feb 20th - Full 

March 3rd - Full 

March 24th - Full 

April 23rd - Full 

May 28th - Ruined/full 

So far this year I have had 7 orgasms, with Mistress only giving me permission to cum 3 times.

Jan 22nd - Full  

April 7th - Full 

April 8th - Full - Unauthorized 

April 10th - Full - Unauthorized 

April 13th - Full - Unauthorized 

May 22nd - Full 

May 28th - Full -  Unauthorized 

3 of my 4 unauthorized orgasms happened on a trip we were on.  Once I had that orgasm (with permission) on April 7th, I was unable to control myself.  Hotel rooms make it extremely difficult for me to want to be denied without being locked up.  Mistress likes having easy access to my cock when we travel, apparently, so do I. 

Last year I had a total of 14 orgasms, so I am on track to have more orgasms this year than I did last year unless Mistress helps me with my cheating. 

Chasity 

At this time last year, I was locked in chastity for 55 days. 

This year so far, I have been locked up 124 days, which 69 days more than last year at the same time. 

If I stay locked for at least another 45 days through the end of the year, I will break my annual chastity record.  If I remained locked for the rest of the year, I would spend over 10 months in chastity. 

Now all of this is clearly fantasy land for me.  Mistress indulges me when I really wish she forced it on me.  I love the idea of being locked while Mistress uses me.  I want to give her orgasms every single day.  I want to use my fingers on her G-spot and use her favorite glass dildo, and the Hitachi, and the fucking machine.  I want to wear a thick cock sleeve so I can fuck her properly with no chance of me cumming.  I want to use a strap-on with her while my cock is helplessly locked away. 

Mistress has done a great job lately, of keeping me aroused while locked in chastity.  She grabs at my cage, she pinches my nipples a few times during the day, and she will make comments on either me being locked up or about something feminine.  I fantasize about her ramping up the teasing and flirting all while I am locked up.  I dream of scenes where my cock is ignored completely or I am teased until I have tears in my eyes with frustration.  The goal is to make me so sexually frustrated that I want this chastity game to end - and it doesn't...

  

Quick Post

Mistress and I have been phenomenally busy.  So much so, that physical intimacy and my libido have been on the back burner.  Add in 2.5 weeks of me being sick and not much has happened so it's been 5+ weeks since my last post.

I don't have much time to post today other than to say Mistress and I finally had sex after a 5-week hiatus and as is becoming my new norm, I sneak off and masturbate not too long after an authorized orgasm.  Maybe that is why I'm having chastity fantasies again.  If I am going to not cum, I want it to be enforced with a device.  Badly.  So bad I have secretly been wearing a device a couple times during the day.

I have also been starting to fantasize about some feminization.  Not full-on, but more than just panties.

That's enough for now.  Here are some recent images I recently saved.  The tiny cage is hot!

Well denied

I’ve been locked in Chastity for 83 of the last 85 days. 80 of those days have been in 2019. Last year I was locked 169 days so I am already locked close to half of what I was last year.  My last orgasm was over 8 weeks ago. I’ve only had one orgasm this year. Last year I was at 3 at this time of the year. 

Mistress had been surprisingly good with me being locked. We have been so busy that there hasn’t been a lot of time for any sort of physical intimacy so this chastity period is kind of convenient in a way.  My new attitude of if I’m unlocked that must mean I’m allowed to masturbate might also play into Mistress’s decision to keep me locked up.

Between work and our dog, one of us gets up way before the other.  Most days Mistress is up and I am left in bed. I used to be able to edge during these times and sometimes my edging would be a bit too much and I would leak quite a bit. There is no edging now.  The closest I get is getting super hard in my cage, over and over while I fantasize about Mistress tease torturing me.

I want to cum, but I really don’t want to cum.  If I were unlocked right now I would be in my home office.  I would be looking at some sort of porn where a guy is tied helplessly tight and edged over and over and over.  I’d get close enough to orgasm to leak, and I would lick up the small amounts. And I’m in enough of a mood that I would stroke myself to orgasm right into my office trash can. I wouldn’t consume that cum, even though I should. Being locked in chastity keeps me from having an occasional unauthorized orgasm, accidentally or on purpose.  It keeps me under control which is what I really crave. 

What I really crave is Mistress using me sexually without letting me have pleasure. I yearn to use my mouth and fingers to bring her to orgasm. I fantasize about fucking her with a strap on while my cock stays locked up. Fucking her for as hard and long as she wants as there is no over stimulation on my part. I fantasize about Mistress cumming every single day with my help or on her own while I stay denied. When she does masturbate she lets me know about it as it’s a great mindfuck.  I know that being used for her pleasure while I stay denied would really, really make me unbearably horny.  I want to be so desperate that I am nearly in tears...

Today's mood...

More and More Desperate - And Loving It

Every morning, I am sexually desperate.  A combination of testosterone, mixed with nightly feminization mixed with full-time chastity is driving me sexually mad.  Each day as my body slowly starts to wake up, my mind stirs with disturbing thoughts. My cock gets hard and strains against my chastity cage. I fantasize about having painful, humiliating or disgusting things done to me.  I yearn to be treated harshly and to be made to do things that challenge me. I fantasize about the idea of cumming and at the same time hoping that I remain denied. I fantasize and cringe at the same time about electric play.  Electric devices scare me but fascinated me at the same time. I also have fantasies I wish I didn’t have. Ones that I don’t want to happen but my mind still goes there.

Some mornings I am so desperate to feel more naughty that I will wear a feminine item under my male clothes.  A feminine tank top or camisole rubs against my chest as I take the dog for a walk.  Making me even hornier.  I’m erotically ashamed of this behavior and hide it from Mistress.

As the day goes on my horniness drops. I’m too busy to be hyper-sexualized. That doesn’t mean my desperation goes away, it’s just reduced. I have constant reminders of my situation. Chasity is always there. I occasionally get a whiff of the intoxicating perfume I wear.  Whenever I am barefoot, my pink painted toenails make my brain twitch a bit.

Each night the cycle starts over as I slip into a nighty before climbing into bed. Occasionally I try to skip the nighty but Mistress catches this and makes sure I obey. I love her for doing this to /for me.  Some nights I have dreams.  A recent one had Mistress reverse sitting on my face with the threat of me not breathing unless I licked her furiously.  Another had me going to a private executive suite dressed in my male clothes with instructions to change into my feminine attire once I arrived. Mistress would use a webcam to give me humiliating tasks and to ensure I stayed dressed in this busy office.

When I dream like this I am even more ramped up and desperate the next day. Thanks to chastity and orgasm denial I don’t see my frustration ever ending. That makes me horny, happy and eager to serve my Mistress in any way possible.

Today’s mood.

Making Chastity More Challenging and Frustrating

The last couple of days, I have woken up, extremely frustrated and horny.  Mistress was out of bed before me and I yearned for the days when I could edge myself and cum whenever I wanted.  It's been 3 weeks since my last orgasm and the need to cum is back up, but I can also see where I am yet again getting used to not cumming.  I was reminded of my recent post about how I believe that occasional orgasms "remind" me of what it is like to have one and that makes the denial more real.

As I was laying in bed this morning I started to wonder if it would be possible to increase frustration and desperation without the occasional orgasm.  Of course my early morning, testosterone-fueled libido took over and my mind took over.  Here is what I came up with.

• Occasionally being required to take viagra while locked up
• Having to send Mistress pictures of myself locked up
• Verbal teasing and taunting of me being a chastity slave
• Going down on Mistress while staying locked up
• Using my mouth and fingers on Mistress as much as she wants while staying locked up
• Mistress masturbating herself and telling me how many times she cums every day without me
• Using a strap-on to fuck Mistress while my chastity device smacks helplessly against Mistress
  
        
• Unlocking and being tied down to endure a long teasing session and locking back up afterward
• Frequent anal stimulation (plugs or strap on) to ensure only pleasure is anal
• prostate stimulation while locked
• Bedtime teasing through my cage
• Being released and made to fuck without cumming.  This is the riskiest as I almost always leak too much.
• Rough BDSM scene while locked the entire time.
• Feminine attire to enforce the emasculating effect of chastity.

All in all, I think there could be a lot of ways to increase the frustration of chastity while still keeping me denied.  The best part is Mistress should have all of the orgasms she can handle and we can still be intimate and make sure she is pleased.  

  

Ramped Up!!!!

I am a huge fan of orgasm denial.  That doesn't mean I don't like orgasms.  In fact, I would love to cum every day if not a couple times a day.  In my previous marriage, I would cum at least once a day and 3-4 times a day if I was traveling.  Unfortunately, 99% of those orgasms were solo and left me unaroused.

The reason I love orgasm denial is precisely because I want to cum so badly all of the time.  I love the mind fuck aspect of not being allowed to cum.  While I am not a fan of having to wear a chastity device, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being forced to wear a chastity device.  I am tired of the honor system, where I willfully don't cum.  I was pretty good at it, but still had accidents.  I was able to edge.  I didn't feel like I was being controlled, which is what I really crave.  I am now of the mindset that if Mistress leaves my cock unlocked for any period of time it signifies permission to do as I please with my cock.

While I am a fan of orgasm denial and my fantasy is 100% denial, I realize occasional orgasms are essential in making the denial more frustrating.  I came 4 days ago.  In the couple of weeks before I came, I got used to the idea of not cumming.  Not that I have had an orgasm, I can't get the thought of having an orgasm again.  It's a delicious mind fuck.  In fact the few days after I have an orgasm are the hardest for me.  It's when I would cheat the most in the past.  Mistress would leave me unlocked and I would generally have an extra one or 2 unauthorized orgasms.  I was too weak to resist the siren call of another orgasm.  That's what happened to me the day after my last orgasm, I needed another one and I wasn't locked.  I fought it, but won't fight it the next time the situation happens.  I'll admit it and deal with any punishment Mistress deems appropriate.  That's why chastity is such a great tool to enforce control over my orgasms.

Last night was a night on the couch watching TV.  Mistress will grab me something comfortable to wear while we lounge around.  Sometimes its men's PJ bottoms and a t-shirt.  Other times it's something feminine.  I'm torn when she does this.  In the evening my libido is lower than in the morning.  When she brings me male clothes I am released, but also missing the forced feminization.  When she brings me female clothes, my anxiety peaks, I get mildly humiliated, but I also get incredibly aroused.  It's another mindfuck, which I love.  Last night Mistress picked out pink yoga pants and a thin white camisole with spaghetti straps.  I can see my nipples outlined very well in the top and I feel super exposed in the cold air.  I absolutely love how slutty it makes me feel.  The other side benefit to wearing feminine attire in the evening is that it ends up on the floor next to the bed which is what I will put on in the morning.

All of these things added up have me in quite a state.  Last night I dreamt that Mistress started making me wear body suits under my clothes during the day and at bedtime.  Some of them were so high cut on the side that they went above my pants.  I had a see-through black one, a see-through striped one a white see through one and assorted others in a drawer.  Mistress would make me show her friends what I was wearing by lifting up my shirt and the body suit would show when I bent over.  I was humiliated and that humiliation made me super horny.

So this morning I woke up with my hornniess at a level 10.  I put on my perfume, my pink yoga pants, and my white slutty camisole.   My head is spinning with ideas of how much I like being treated like a slutty nympho that is not allowed to cum.  I'm in heaven!