Other thoughts

I have completed 3 days of uninterrupted chastity and am starting on my 4th day.  I have added a counter to the blog so that everyone that reads this blog will know my current situation.

Last night Mistress was understandably upset with me about something in our real life, so she made me wear a nighty again and didn't roll a dice to see if I would be let out for the night.  In reality I wasn't at all upset that she wasn't going to roll the dice as I have totally accepted the fact that I will be locked up for a minimum of 7 days straight.  In fact it's a mental goal I have.  If I can do a week with no issues after being unlocked for almost a year, I can likely do any amount of time. The idea of being released for even a few hours is more of a mind fuck.  It's like the warden telling the prisoner he's about to get paroled just to fuck with him.

While I wasn't upset about being unlocked, I was upset that I didn't treat Mistress better last night.  She had a tough day and I didn't pick up on how tough it was.  So I was mad at myself for disappointing her.  I try to serve her in many ways and one of those being her sounding board when she's had a tough day.  I can do better.

The fact I was upset with myself made the nighty and another night in chastity a fitting punishment in my mind while I drifted off to sleep.  The many times I awoke during the night reinforced my mental state as her slave.  As such, I woke in an extremely submissive, horny and feminine mood.

Obviously chastity is at the top of my mind, but that doesn't mean I don't have other thoughts.  Mistress and I just got a new bathtub.  We're having some issues with it, but when it's repaired I fantasize about something like this.  Very, very hot.

Now I am off to shave my body and re-do my nail polish.  Today toenails will be pink and fingernails with a tiny bit of color (not clear).

Difficulty in a good way.

As I write this my current time in lock up is 2 days 1 hour and 20 minutes, but who's counting?  Going back to last year my longest continuous lock up was 7.5 days which surprisingly was Oct 7-14th or almost the same week a year earlier.  I was locked up 5 times and only one time was less than 2.5 days.

I mention it because I had a chance to get released for about 8 hours last night.  Apparently Mistress liked a few ideas in yesterday's post.  One was wearing a nighty in addition to chastity.  As predicted it added another layer of difficulty to my night of sleep.  When I say difficulty, I don't mean that as a complaint, I mean that as it was difficult in just the right way.  First off I picked a nighty that was too restrictive.  But instead of whining or trying to get out of it I sucked it up and did my best to deal with it.  I actually tried to find a way to ask Mistress to let me change into another one, but I also feared she might let me, and I wanted to endure it.  I went to bed frustrated and a little angry at myself for putting myself in such an uncomfortable position.  However during the night that difficulty worked its magic.  Every time I woke up to change positions I not only had to adjust my chastity device I had to adjust my nighty.  Every time I did that, it went straight to my brain.  It reinforced the idea that I am a submissive that craves to be treated this way.  I would end up with thoughts of Mistress making me sleep in far less comfortable circumstances and making my current situation seem like a walk in the park.  I fantasized about sleeping in restraints, or a cage, or the strait jacket or pantyhose and bra, etc.  That in turn got me super hard and uncomfortable in my chastity device.  I just stewed in my own thoughts until my brain was submissively mushy.

Mistress also seemed to like the dice game.  As mentioned above, I had the opportunity to be out of my device over night.  Mistress asked me to pick a number and if she rolled that number I would be released for the night.  I picked a 3 and she rolled a 4.  It was a mind-fuck thinking I would get out and I had a 17% chance of it happening.  Had she actually rolled a 3 I would have been happy on one side but disappointed on the other.  I am embracing being in chastity and am wearing my time locked up with a sense of pride.  Getting out (even for a short while) would be such a catch-22.  As such I woke up this morning with a little bit of shame for being such a slut, but also with a ton of pride that I endured a night in chastity and a very restrictive nighty.  I look forward to enduring increasingly challenging situations.

I have actually been fantasizing about being locked in chastity for weeks on end, but also am very aware of the challenges and work it would take on both of our parts to due it successfully.  We have too much going on these days to make that work positively for both of us, but a guy can fantasize.

When researching some dice ideas there were a few more that came up.  

• Assigning the # of a roll to a task or punishment 
• Rolling dice to calculate a number of spankings
• Rolling dice to calculate a number of edges
• Rolling dice to calculate # of orgasms Mistress gets before I get one.

In the interest of not topping from the bottom, a quick google search of "chastity dice ideas" with or without the word dice "femdom dice ideas" or "bdsm dice ideas" has a lot of interesting games although some seem very convoluted.  

Lastly, I was being a little snarky last night.  Mistress advised me that I had better watch myself.  She said she had a punishment that I would not enjoy and that if I didn't watch myself she would use it.

Now I have no idea what it is, and I am sure I wouldn't like it, at least not while it was happening, afterward is another story :-)  That being said, I find it super, super hot that she is thinking of ways to not only punish me but also make sure the punishment is harsh.  I sense a "be careful what you wish for" scenario coming up.  I am a lucky, lucky man.

Locked with markings still showing from Saturday's scene

  

        

So it begins

I have now been locked up over 24 hours and as much as I hate to admit it, it is going better than I expected.  By changing my mindset from dreading it to embracing it I am better prepared to handle the challenges of chastity.  By accepting that the reason I am in chastity is 100% my fault and allows me to deal with it.

My first day in chastity reminded me of some of the difficulty of being in chastity, but with every pinch, pain or frustration I had, I told myself, this is how you make Mistress feel by your actions.  I'm owning how I have acted and how that has affected her.  I am accepting (dare I say enjoying) my fate.

Wearing my device with pride, and bruises.

As soon as my head hit the pillow last night my mind started racing.  I thought about how the next week will be, how Mistress will likely be in my head and fuck with me, keeping me on my toes.  I thought about her leaving my key in her desk at work.  I thought about how I'm lucky I wasn't in a nighty too.  Talk about a night filled with images...

Last night I made dinner using a spice called cumin.  We made a couple jokes about how lately I have loved cumin in recipes and the joke quickly got to how I love cumming.  Mistress mentioned that she is intending on making me cum in the next couple days and locking me back up immediately.  I told her that was mean and she said, "I know that.  You said you wanted me to be meaner".  To which I confessed I truly did want her to be meaner and thought to myself "much meaner".

All of that being said, I am feeling a little oversexed right now.  Chastity is the ultimate mind fuck.  When I am unlocked, I can forget about my cock, and therefore forget about touching myself, forget about sex, forget about porn, etc.  I can pretty much delegate sexual thoughts out of my mind, even though I have full access to my cock.

When I am locked and I want to push thoughts to the back of my mind, I cannot.  All I can do is think about my cock, which makes me want to touch it, makes me want to cum, makes me want to fuck Mistress, and makes me a sexual mess.  There is no pushing sexual thoughts out for more than a few minutes at a time.

That being said, now that I am locked up, I can make up a "scene idea" for chastity.  The reason I didn't do it sooner was I was afraid Mistress would take that as I wanted to be locked up.    

Here are some chastity ideas.    # 13 (unlucky # 13 ) Chastity

Thank you Mistress for locking me up and telling me you plan on being meaner.  I'm in heaven!

Penance

pen•ance (ˈpɛn əns)

Noun

"A punishment for a sinful act or wrongdoing. It may be intended to serve as reparation for the act."

This morning I got out of bed to find Mistress had placed my chastity device on my bathroom vanity.  As required, I reminded Mistress that I was to start my week of chastity punishment this morning.  I wasn't 100% sure if she was going to go through with it.  Physically I would have been thrilled if she didn't go through with it, but mentally and emotionally I would have been sad.  It's a real conundrum to hate something so much, but at the same time need it at my very core.

The last time I was was locked up was last November, so apparently I had been pretty good up until now.  I keep a log of my time in chastity on this blog  Chastity Tracker and it appears my attitude might be seasonal.  From Sept 8th to November 7th 2014 I was locked up for a total of 14.5 days.  I went back and read some of the posts from last year.  They were very similar to my recent posts about wanting my limits pushed and for Mistress to be meaner to me.  There was even a post about Mistress extending my release date because I forgot to do something I was told to do.  As it should be.

As a reminder, I am in chastity because I have been a shit.  I have been snapping at Mistress and I have been short with her.  I needed a reminder of my place in our relationship, a place I crave to be. Since chastity is 24/7 and by it's very design, there is no way to forget about it.  I am constantly reminded of being locked, having no access and feel somewhat emasculated.  For as long as Mistress keeps me locked up, I will remind myself of my wrongs and how to be a better slave.  I will remind  myself that she didn't do this to me, I did it to myself.  I will embrace this punishment because I would much rather Mistress correct me with D/s than with no D/s whatsoever.  Being locked up, being beaten badly, being forced to stand in a corner with my pants around my ankles are all preferable to Mistress not using D/s to reward or punish me.

 I am a submissive at heart and am so grateful to have found someone that understands me enough to correct me when I falter vs. being resentful.   I am blessed.

P.S.  Follow Up to the other night.  Mistress asked me which was worse, the rubber band or the ugly stick.  Their pain is the same.  The difference is the rubber band is there as a constant reminder.  Also as a standard household item, it;s kind of a mind fuck.  As far as the ugly stick, its benefit is the surprise effect.  You know where the rubber band will hit you.  You have no clue where the ugly stick will hit.  They each have their benefit in the dominant's tool box.

Yesterday's marks from Sunday. 

Today' marks from Sunday.  Starting to bruise Yay!

A recap of last night's scene

Mistress and I have had a TON going on lately.  Not only has our time to be intimate been reduced, we've had a lot of work to do and stress has been higher than normal.  With increased stress I have been a little bit snippy lately.  I have had a bad tone to my voice and for lack of a better term, I have talked down to Mistress.  I hate it when I get this way.  It's one reason my marriage failed so I know I have some work to do.  I catch myself getting frustrated and have a lot self-talk about how it's not anything she is doing, but it's about how I react.  Mistress took the high road and gave me a session last night to try and deal with my attitude.  Here is my recollection.

During the last day or so Mistress had been hinting that I'd better watch myself or she was going to do something about my attitude.  Her talk escalated into talking about a sever edging session with a good beating.  Part intrigued me and part scared me especially with all of my talk about wanting her to hurt me beyond what I want.  When we got home early from a party she had me get the bed ready as well as myself.  We use some very simple straps that go under the bed, but they hold me as strong as any 4 poster bed would.  I put on my pink wrist and ankle restraints, put some towels down and put some femdom porn on the bedroom TV.  Mistress had me blindfold myself  and slide some big rubber bands around my upper thighs while she went around the bed securing my limbs to the 4 corners of the bed.  I was spread out and couldn't move.  Mistress teased my cock some and talked to me about my attitude.

Now here is where my story may jump around and get fuzzy.  I had a slight buzz going on from alcohol at the party and a few drinks of wine I had when we got some.  Being tied up always makes my mind a little mushy and the endorphins I had running through me made me lose a sense of time.

As Mistress proceeded to talk to me about my attitude, she would alternate between snapping the rubber bands around my upper thighs and stroking my cock.  I know I am wrong and had no qualms about admitting it.  She mentioned that to help me remember our talk I would be going back into chastity for a week on Monday morning.  As much as I don't want that to happen, I also think it will be good for us.  It will remind me that Mistress has full control over me and she can do what she wants.  I also hope that by me willfully and enthusiastically accepting it, it will empower her to be crueler to me.

Mistress put something in my mouth.  It was her wet fingers.  It was heavenly.  I so wanted her to keep feeding me her pussy juices.  I longed for her to put her dirty panties under my nose.  I wanted that so much I played a video with a Mistress doing just that.

 

Mistress also put her strapon in my ass.  She didn't wear it, but she got it in my ass (I am guessing about half way).  It has been a few months since I had something in my ass.  As much as I hate to admit it, it was heavenly.  While I occasionally wear a butt plug this was much better.  Being close to her, having her cock in my ass while stroking my cock was a perfect cocktail of lust.  I wanted her to rape my ass at that point, but didn't tell her so.  She edged me close enough that the dildo was able to milk some cum out of my cock.  I imagined her fucking my ass to get me to use my safe word.  Maybe we will have to get the fucking machine out of storage to make that happen some day.

Still during all of this Mistress would snap the rubber bands or hit me with some other device.  I kept begging her to hurt me until I used my safe word.  She kept bringing me to the edge over and over again, expertly not letting me get too close.  It was like she had gotten much better at edging me.

At one point during the scene, Mistress used a device on my balls to try and get me to safe word.  She expertly hit one testicle.  The sensation was of a smack to the scrotum which hurt, but went away, but then also a deep throbbing pain in my testicle.  Out of everything she had done to me, this was the most likely to get me to safe word, but I was resolute that she would have to do it to me 10 or more times to get me to crack.  After she hit my ball she stroked my cock.  The sensation was something very unique.  While my ball hurt in a bad way, the stroking felt amazing, but at the same time agonizing.  As I got closer to the edge, my testicle would hurt more.  It was a perfect mind fuck as I wanted her to keep stroking but the pain in my ball made me want her to stop.

Mistress kept up her teasing.  She used the Hitachi under my balls and stocked my cock.  She would bring me to the edge so quickly and so strongly that I thought I would cum.  Mistress would remove her hand but press the Hitachi under my perineum which would just keep me on the edge.  She would touch my cock, but I don't know how she was doing it as the buzzing from the Hitachi overrode how I could feel things.

Mistress stopped this for a bit and hit my other testicle.  This one hurt just like the first, but it also brought back the pain from the first hit.  As she stroked my cock , both of my balls throbbed with pain as my cock enjoyed the stroking.  This was a good mind fuck.

Mistress went back to using the Hitachi on me and stroking my cock to keep me on the edge.  I am not kidding when I write this.  This was the best edging experience of my life.  Instead of going up to the edge and back, she just kept me right at the top of the sensation.  As great as it was it was also terrible.  I was straining every muscle to try and cum.  My body wanted to cum badly, but my submissive brain didn't want me to.  My biological need to cum was battling my submissive brain.  I was straining, begging her to both let me cum and also to not let me cum.  I wanted her to hurt me worse.  I wanted to beg her to stop.  I was afraid I was going to safe word from this sensation and not physical pain.  I wanted this heaven & hell sensation to last forever.

In the end Mistress coaxed the beginning of an orgasm from me.  She stopped before I got the full effect, so in effect it was partially ruined.  It was enough that I got some sub drop and used my safe word before anything else could happen.

Looking back to last night I have some takeaways.

• Again, best edging experience of my life.  It kind of scares me how intense it felt.  I would liken it to the forced multiple orgasms you see girls get in porn, as I had intense pleasure almost bordering on pain and it wouldn't stop.  I could see myself getting literally exhausted if it had kept going.
• I am in pain, not from the beating but from straining my muscles during the tease.  Especially my back muscles and my hip flexors. It was a great workout.
• While the rubber bands and beating hurt, I likely could have taken twice or three times as much.  I really do want to be hurt until I'm mad and in tears and until I safe word.    
• The ball hitting.  This is the part that intrigues me the most.  As much as I hate that feeling of having my testicles hurt, the sensation was undeniable.  Adding stroking to it and it was a perfect heaven and hell torture.  I'm reminded of when I first met Mistress and we were in a hotel for a Halloween event.  She tied me to the bed, gagged me and beat the hell out of my balls.  I get hard just thinking about it.
• I wish Mistress would have had an orgasm or 10, as the whole thing was pretty much about me.  I was hoping she would have taken multiple orgasms for herself while I sat suffering in pain.
• I am very, very happy to see Mistress take control of me and put me in my place.  I don't do well trying to be the bossy one or getting defensive.  Last night was a good "reset" for me.  I crave living in a Female Led Relationship with a good dose of Female Domination.
• We have another couple stressful months so I'd better behave before I end up beaten, bruised and in chastity, or worse, no D/s...       

I love my Mistress!        

An Epiphany

Yesterday I was working out and about half way through I felt as though I hit a wall.  I almost quit working out, but I pushed through it.  I'm doing a workout program that requires me to push my muscles to complete failure and then do it again.  It kind of sucks.  It's hard to do, and when I am doing it I sometimes wish I weren't.  There are times I just don't want to work out and dread it, but I do it.  During one particular exercise, my muscles hurt, I was shaking to do one more repetition and when I was done I was relieved.  Then it hit me, this is how I feel about some D/s things I fantasize about.

Lately I have been writing about having Mistress do more extreme things to me.  Beating me until I cry.  Humiliating me in many different ways.  Forcing me to eat my own cum.  Using electricity on me.  Raping my mouth until I choke.  Locking me in chastity when I clearly don't want it.  Denying my orgasms.  Making me wear constrictive clothes at night.  Feminizing me more and more.  Putting me in a cage.  Putting me in difficult or painful bondage positions.  Bruising me or otherwise marking my body.  Even piss play.  The list goes on and on and on (because I'm a little sick in the head :-)

I realized that my wanting to do more extreme things isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It's like working out in a way.  When I work out I "hurt myself" in order to lift heavier weights the next time.  I push myself so that I look better.  I fatigue myself to have better physical stamina. I break myself down to build me up.  I do all of these things in order to be stronger and better than I was the day before.  As much as I hate climbing a massive hill on my bike or doing dead-lifts, I love it when I have pushed myself harder than I thought I could go.

The same goes with my darker D/s fantasies.  I certainly would hate being spanked until I literally cried.  I would fight it, I would be pissed off while it was happening, when it was over I would be proud.  I would wear bruises with the same pride as I do when I have road rash from pushing myself too far on my mountain bike.  I would look back and say "I did that".  I would know I could do more the next time.

Just like I sometimes make myself nauseous with how hard I work out, I get through it.  I imagine some of the more disgusting things I ask Mistress to do to me would make me nauseous but I know I would get through it.  I dream of her breaking me down mentally and physically to build me up, just like I do with my muscles.

Mistress is very, very good to me.  She treats me well.  She indulges me on many occasions.  I'm writing this more to communicate that it's OK to hurt me and push my boundaries in ways that people wouldn't understand.  As a pervy guy with D/s DNA, pushing me past my perceived boundaries is essentially just a workout for my soul.  I'm glad I have been able to identify why I ask for things that would be difficult for me.  It's been nagging me.

 

2nd day in a row

Normally I shave my body twice a week (on Friday's and Monday's), however Mistress and I have a busy weekend coming up.  After Mistress left for work I decided to shave a day early since I didn't know when I would get a chance to.  After seeing my painted toenails all week and feeling my fingernails as well as wearing those lacy leggings yesterday, I'm apparently in a mood.  So today, with my freshly shaved legs I decided to wear pantyhose all day at work.  The silky smoothness along with my legs being shaved are an extra bonus.  I'm half thinking I could cum from just the feeling.  It's going to be a naughty thought day!

Quick Post

Just a quick post.  I painted my fingernails with clear nail polish as instructed by Mistress.  I also decided to wear something naughty today while out seeing customers as I am to do occasionally.

How to treat a (typical) man - I'm not typical

Last week Mistress texted me this picture and a comment saying how we need to make an exception for #9.  I added that we can make an exception for 1,2,6,8,9,10,11,13 and 14 based on our D/s relationship.

That really got me to thinking about how I like to be treated.  This book is titled "MAN LEADS, woman follows, Everyone Wins".  I hate any advice that acts like these is one size that fits all.  I can certainly lead and do so in my day to day, but I really strive to have someone lead me in the bedroom and in our relationship.

So the list above can be flipped for me as far my kinky needs.  Let's take them one by one.

1. Never belittle your man.  I get this on a day to day basis, but in the bedroom, I can really get off on this.  "Who's my little slut?", "Look at those panties on you", "Do you think you deserve to cum?"  I could go on and on, but there are a million ways I dream of Mistress belittling me.  I think it's hot and it gets me to the edge faster.

2.  Never talk down to him.  I don't know why the author thought this is different than #1 so I have nothing to add.

3.  Never ignore him.  I can think of a few times being ignored would be hot.  Locked in a cage.  Tied to the bed and left to stew in my own thoughts. Tied and ignored while Mistress gets herself off.  Made to stand in a corner.  Ignored while Mistress plays with a girl.  Orgasm denial is another great way to ignore me.  When we first met, Mistress had a hard time ignoring my orgasms.  I actually had to beg her to not let me cum.  She got pretty good at denying me, eventually sending me home without an orgasm after she had multiple.  Lately she has been very generous with my orgasms, but denying me fulfills a submissive need for me.  I think a daily orgasm for Mistress is good while I am limited to one or 2 a month. 

6.  Never cause him to feel embarrassed.  I edge myself to the idea of Mistress embarrassing me I find it so hot.  Kneeling naked, masturbating into my own hand and eating it. I can't think of anything more embarrassing.  Sucking a dildo and Mistress making me say how much I love cock.  Dressing feminine and going online to follow the instructions of others.  Not being allowed to take off my nighty in the morning or having to wear something feminine when Mistress comes home.  All of that just pushes my buttons so much.  I am hard thinking about being embarrassed.  I sometimes think Mistress tries to avoid embarrassing me which is a pity because I really do fantasize about her making me do things specifically to embarrass me.  It's one of the reasons I spend so much time thinking about cum eating, cross-dressing, being written on, and even considering piss play.

8.  Never manipulate him.  I love the idea of being manipulated.  Being told to wear my chastity device when Mistress knows how much I dislike it feels very manipulative to me.  Knowing I don't want to wear it, but knowing I need to do as she says to keep our D/s dynamic going.  It's a mind fuck to have to do something I don't want to do.  Also having to do things to earn release or to earn D/s is a hot way to manipulate me.  

9. Never boss him.  I like being bossed both in and out of the bedroom.  If Mistress wanted to boss me more than she does now I'd be very OK with it.

10.  Never laugh at his mistakes or faults.  I can imagine Mistress setting me up to fail at a task and then using that opportunity to make fun of me.  I can also imagine her laughing at me when I am tied down or dressed up and emasculating me for my "needs".

11.  Never put any person before him.  In the past Mistress has been with a woman, and for that reason I have long fantasized about Mistress having a girlfriend a Mistress or a female slave of her own.  I have thought about Mistress cuckolding me with a woman.  I would be home while she went out with her girlfriend, or I would be told to sleep in a cage or in another room while Mistress girlfriend stayed the night.  I would have to get up and cook them breakfast and serve it to them.  

13.  Never be inconsiderate of his feelings.  In a D/s context I relish when Mistress is inconsiderate of my feelings.  Whether it's not letting me cum, forcing me into chastity, hitting my balls, hitting me when I am restrained until I am begging to stop, making me wear nighties when I don't want to, making me do what I promised to do when I was on the edge.  All of these things require Mistress to be inconsiderate of my feelings.  Especially as I ask her to do things to me that I know will make me mad at the time.   It's considering my feelings to be inconsiderate of my feelings (With a double negative like that, no wonder D/s can be so hard in a relationship).

14. Never tell his personal business.  I have a fantasy of being outed by Mistress to another woman.  When I first met Mistress she shared our relationship with a friend or two, but I'm not sure how much.  I can still imagine Mistress telling someone something about my proclivities.  I imagine it would be in a drunken state on a trip far away from home.

In conclusion, Mistress is very, very good to me.  She respects me, loves me, puts up with this side of me and makes me feel like the most important person in the world.  I feel astronomically lucky to have found her. Sometimes I think she loves me so much she can't push me the way I think I want.  I think she may fear hurting me or pushing me away.  I can sense a reluctance to push my limits or maybe it just takes too much energy to do so.  Either way after spending nearly a week thinking about the book page she sent me and how I am wired, I can assure Mistress that I need the opposite of what the book says men need.  This is not meant to be a pushy bottom email, just a communicative one.     

Videos, Edging and Eating Cum

I have a lot to do today, but I wanted to make a quick post.  Last night Mistress had made sure I wore a nighty.  I truly appreciate it when she tells me to do something in a D/s way.  At the time I was not wanting to do it as my male ego got in the way.  However this morning I woke up very, very horny.  As I walked to the bathroom I felt the padded cups of the nighty.  Once I got to the bathroom I pulled up my nighty (I sit to pee due to the piercing in my cock).  I felt very naughty and submissive.  I also thought about as much as I didn't want it last night, I happy I was to be wearing it this morning.  The erotic humiliation is intoxicating.  I then weighed myself, picked out some new panties and my male clothes and got ready.  I removed my nighty and admired the marks from the straps on my shoulders, the marks left from the cup.  I turned to look at my back and was surprised how much the back was marked from the nighty.  I may have been lucky I didn't wear my nighty more on our trip.  Someone may have noticed when I took my shirt off (blush).

After Mistress left for work I found some more videos to be able to be viewed in our bedroom.  I focused on ruined orgasms, caning, post orgasm torture.

While waiting on a download I decided to edge myself a few times.  I am allowed to edge, but if any cum is released I must now consume it.  I found a video of a woman with her boyfriend locked in chastity and tied down.  He was also gagged with duct tape forcing him to breathe through his nose.  She verbally teased and tormented him while teasing his cock and making him smell her pussy.

Apparently the idea of being locked and teased was too much. My edging didn't go as planned.  I thought I would go for a good 10 minutes or so.  I edged myself and while I was still soft, a good drop of pre-cum escaped which I had to lick up before proceeding. I decided not to edge any more as I didn't want to eat any more cum.  Cumming and stopping before I even got hard was not part of my plan.  A half hour later I still have a sticky taste in the back of my throat.

  

Fall Is In The Air

Even though we are having an unseasonably warm fall, you can tell it's coming.  This time of year reminds of being a kid and going back to school.  There's football, the smell of fireplaces, leaves falling, chili in the crock-pot, I could keep going on.  But this time of year also seems to kick my submissive mind into high gear.  Here are some of the things I am looking forward to or wishing for.

• Painted toenails.  I've calculated that I wear nail polish in my toes for about 7 months out of the year.  Mistress likes blue and purple, which I do as well as it really stands out, but to me it's masculine enough to have some plausible deniability.  Pink, fuchsia red, etc are undeniably feminine and more emasculating (in a good way to me).  As much as flip-flops crack my heels in the summer, maybe I should wear nail polish year round :-)

• Feminine clothes under my male clothes.  With it cooling off it's much easier and more comfortable to wear things like pantyhose, tights, leggings, camisoles, bras, corsets, body shapers, etc under my male clothes.  I have been fantasizing about wearing women's undershirts that have lace around the neck, arms and bottom of the shirt.

• Markings on my body.  Having more skin covered up means the ability to mark my skin.  I dream of bruises (especially with my new fondness for rubber bands), magic marker, skin dye, temporary tattoos (tramp stamp) and maybe some scarring as well... 

• Around the house.  I have some lounging clothes that are better suited for winter.  Also, sleeping in a nighty or feminine pajamas won't be so uncomfortably hot.
• Hot Tub.  We use our hot tub more in the winter.  I have been thinking about wearing my bikini or getting a humiliating one piece for the hot tub.

I'm sure I am missing something regarding fall/winter naughtiness however I am very much looking forward to being naughty this fall.

Vacation Sex

Mistress and I went on a recent trip and we had a great time.  We had more sex in a week than we have in the last 2-3 months.  It was awesome.  Here are some takeaways from our trip.

• Porn.  Our hotel was an adults only hotel and they had one channel of free porn that was available all the time.  It was a little more hard core than I would have expected. There was some mild D/s themed programs which also surprised me.  We had sex quite a few times with the porn playing in the background.  However the best was when  Mistress had me tied to the bed and blindfolded.  She had porn playing which I could hear and she would describe to me what was happening.  It was such a rush, I have now figured out how to get porn in our bedroom.  I imagine lots of Femdom playing on the TV when we play, but also some guy on guy porn or transsexual porn when Mistress wants to fuck with me.

• Rubber bands.  I brought some rubber bands on the trip which I put on myself prior to Mistress tying me to the bed.  I was somewhat drunk the night of the rubber bands so I think the pain may have been a little numbed. While I remember it was painful I really, really liked the marks it left.  I liked how Mistress could cause so much pain and she didn't even need to pick up an instrument to hurt me.  I am turned on about thinking about experimenting more with rubber bands, especially with winter coming and bruises being easier to hide.  I think about Mistress "writing" words on my body with bruises from rubber bands as well as bruising my cock and balls with rubber bands.

• Feminine wear.  A few nights I had to wear a nighty and I wore panties one or 2 times.  It's such a catch-22 for me.  I love Mistress to make me wear feminine items, but when I have choices my ego gets in the way and I revert back to my male ego.  This was especially true this trip since I had so many orgasms, wearing a nighty was about the last thing I wanted to do.  So not wearing one to bed felt like a minor victory, but when I would wake up in the morning I would miss the erotic humiliation of waking up in a nighty.  Wearing a nighty especially when I don't want to is a great show of her power over me.  It's such a conundrum for me, my male ego fighting with my kinky side.  But ultimately, Mistress forcing femininity on me goes straight to the deepest part of my brain.  Being told what to wear very fulfilling.

• Cum Eating.  One night I talked Mistress into a deal.  If I came inside of her and didn't immediately lick it out of her that she would force me into chastity for an entire month.  Just the thought of either item got me close to the edge.  Mistress verbalizing me locked up and teasing the fuck out of me got me to the edge instantly.  Mistress didn't think I would do it, but as soon as I came I went down on her.  We didn't get much of a chance to see how far I would go or how good of a job I would do since room service showed up about 5 seconds after I put my head between her legs.  Saved by the bell!    

• Pee.  One might Mistress peed in a place that a few people could have seen.  I certainly saw it but I don't know if anyone else did.  I was shocked as this wasn't like her.  Being my my drunk and horny state my submissive mind took off.  I took her straight back to the room to have sex and to see what happened.  While were having sex I told Mistress that when I was feeling particularly nasty I fantasized about piss being part of my fantasies.  She said that she would tie me up in our shower and piss on me.  As I write this the thought of it grosses me out but at the same time it's making my cock very, very hard.  The humiliation and the loss of control overrides the "ick factor".  I have had some thoughts on how to incorporate piss in our play.

All in all we had a very sexual week.  We traveled with some friends we couldn't have me running around with bruises or risk one of them seeing panties sticking out of my pants, but hopefully on some future trip I will be Mistress' chastity wearing panty slave.  I love our life.  

P.S.  I edged and had some pre-cum leak out.  I licked it up as required. 

In a mood

This morning I woke up not feeling so well.  That tends to make me go to my happy place which is normally easy for me to think of things.  For some reason today I had no specific thoughts.  That was until I came across a post on Tumblr.  This one post and 5 pics got me going.

After I saw those 5 pics my mind was off and running.  I dreamt of Mistress gagging me and making me smell her panties or even worse, smelling my own panties.  I thought about other things like having Mistress dirty tights gagging me and her crotch tied right under my nose.  The only way to breathe would be through my nose so I would be engulfed in her scent.  I can imagine the endorphin rush just from that.  Then my mind drifted off to being gagged with panties crusty with my cum (and Mistress cum too).  I was surprised how many pics there are of women gagged with panties, but hardly any guys.  Stupid internet.

 

Some Eye Candy for Mistress

Mistress has commented on how she likes this slaves pictures.  Here are some recent ones from http://deviantdisplay.com/

Devoted Pet.
No matter how many thousands of miles I traveled, my little slut followed me obediently, trying to be useful in any way imaginable. -Mistress

Summer vacation for a sissy.

To make sure Pet was on his best behavior, he was locked up whenever we ventured outside. I loved seeing his poor cock strain against the hot metal cage, keeping the slut stimulated and frustrated all day. -Mistress

Shameless.

My caged pet looks delicious in the sunshine. It makes me want to do very depraved things to her. -Mistress

Cock tease.
While recently out of town I left Pet uncaged with the caveat that he not cum prior to my return. He made use of the time by teasing himself in anticipation. -Mistress

In his proper place. 
This is one of my favorite photos of Pet. It’s exactly how I want him to be at all times–dressed like a slut, on the floor, plugged and caged. -Mistress

Like a toy.
When I tease Pet by pulling the chain attached to her cage, it makes her cock drip. Pet enjoys being on a short leash. -Mistress

Show and tell.
Pet couldn’t wait to model the new “panties” I got him. I think it makes his ass look even more fuckable than it already is. -Mistress

Marinating in Horniness

I'm not sure what's going on with me.  The last few weeks I have been on 11.  I have been feeling super slutty.  Anything feminine just gets me going.  Mistress' comments last week about having me plan scenes has pushed me up to a 12.  

For example.  Yesterday Mistress told me to wear something sexy under my work pants.  I took it to the next level and wore a fishnet body suit.  I could have removed it as soon as I got home, but the little brain in my cock wouldn't let me.  I got so fucking turned on wearing this under my clothes while working and running errands.  Whether is was the attractive account executive for another company talking to me at a luncheon or the checkout girls at the grocery store or Wal-mart I felt very humiliated thinking they knew what I was wearing under my clothes.  Of course they didn't but that's where my mind goes.  The contrast of feeling my body encased in fishnet and my cock and balls free was a nice mild mind fuck.

Lastly, Mistress has been quickly reading my posts and she has been commenting on them.  Having her comment on something I just posted humiliates me in a good way.  It's a huge turn on to get her feedback, especially if it's something she likes. 

I ave posted 2 new scene ideas (HERE) and this will likely be my last post for a week or 2. 

Chickened Out

I recently posted about "bra training" Mistress mentioned that it made her think of a pink bra in my panty drawer.  Last week I tried it on to see how it would look and it looked surprisingly good.  I have a defined chest so it wasn't too obvious.

This morning I woke up and was in my hangover mood which means I am extra horny as a way of going to my "happy place".  When I got out of bed I put on that pink bra and the closest pair of panties I could find to match it (I'm surprised I don't have more matching sets).  I then got dressed and thought I could pull it off without Mistress noticing.  As I got to the bottom of the stairs I chickened out wearing the bra.  The padding was maybe more obvious than I thought, and then I got self conscious and then took the bra off before going upstairs.

I added another scene as well.  Also, even though the scenes are posted, they are not done.  As I think more and more about them, I will edit them, update them, add more variations as well as pictures.  If a scene title sounds interesting, go back and revisit as it may have changed.

Pushing Limits

Last night Mistress had a girl's night out.  I was in a bit of a mood so I wore this while watching TV.

Despite being horny, I almost fell asleep on the couch.  I decided I was no longer horny and was ready for bed.  Mistress came home a short while later and got into bed.  She said "put your nighty on".  I did as told and my horniness was re-awakened. I went from almost falling asleep on the couch, to not falling asleep for 90 minutes.  Mistress' one comment hit me in the brain.  That and me wearing a nighty.

As I tried to fall asleep I had some thoughts.  So far all of my scene ideas are "extreme".  Not extreme in the general sense, but they are all scenes where I want to be pushed past my limits.  For example, my rotisserie self bondage scene (described HERE) was specifically designed to push me past my limits.  There is no way in the world I would purposely yank clothespins off my cock and balls, let alone slowly.  As much as it hurt, my only regret was that I was able to jerk away and speed up the removal.  In my fantasy world Mistress would tie me so I couldn't move and she would whisper in my ears how this was my doing.  She would taunt me for being such a twisted slut.  She would be masturbating while I scream suffer.  While I know she cares, I would love to see her enjoy my suffering.

The same goes for the spanking, cum eating, the face fucking, and electricity.  I don't want her to stop when I start begging her to.  I don't want her to stop when I start shutting down and getting angry.  I want her to stop when I have accepted that she wont stop.  I suspect it will be difficult for us initially as we learn how to respond.  Sub-drop and top-drop are to be likely.

No matter what though, just thinking about Mistress pushing my past my limits has my cock so hard right now.

Also, I dreamt up some new scenes last night, posted here Scene Ideas

    

Mistress has my mind spinning

Mistress' recent comments about wanting me to loosely script some scenes so she doesn't have to take too much time to plan has my mind spinning lately.  I have had many, many ides going through my mind, but putting them to words is a little time consuming.  Since Mistress made me sleep in a nighty last night, it's all I could do to go back to sleep the few time I woke up during the night.  Feeling the silky material all over my body, the straps digging into my shoulders and the padded cups.  I would have naughty thoughts while trying to go back to sleep.  It made me want to wake her up and have my way with her...  That being said I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep so I have added some scene ideas to the list.  I managed to have a nice little edge while researching some ideas for my electricity post.  I didn't ooze as I didn't want to risk having to taste my cum today.

Here is a previous picture of the nighty I wore last night...