That really got me to thinking about how I like to be treated. This book is titled "MAN LEADS, woman follows, Everyone Wins". I hate any advice that acts like these is one size that fits all. I can certainly lead and do so in my day to day, but I really strive to have someone lead me in the bedroom and in our relationship.
So the list above can be flipped for me as far my kinky needs. Let's take them one by one.
1. Never belittle your man. I get this on a day to day basis, but in the bedroom, I can really get off on this. "Who's my little slut?", "Look at those panties on you", "Do you think you deserve to cum?" I could go on and on, but there are a million ways I dream of Mistress belittling me. I think it's hot and it gets me to the edge faster.
2. Never talk down to him. I don't know why the author thought this is different than #1 so I have nothing to add.
3. Never ignore him. I can think of a few times being ignored would be hot. Locked in a cage. Tied to the bed and left to stew in my own thoughts. Tied and ignored while Mistress gets herself off. Made to stand in a corner. Ignored while Mistress plays with a girl. Orgasm denial is another great way to ignore me. When we first met, Mistress had a hard time ignoring my orgasms. I actually had to beg her to not let me cum. She got pretty good at denying me, eventually sending me home without an orgasm after she had multiple. Lately she has been very generous with my orgasms, but denying me fulfills a submissive need for me. I think a daily orgasm for Mistress is good while I am limited to one or 2 a month.
6. Never cause him to feel embarrassed. I edge myself to the idea of Mistress embarrassing me I find it so hot. Kneeling naked, masturbating into my own hand and eating it. I can't think of anything more embarrassing. Sucking a dildo and Mistress making me say how much I love cock. Dressing feminine and going online to follow the instructions of others. Not being allowed to take off my nighty in the morning or having to wear something feminine when Mistress comes home. All of that just pushes my buttons so much. I am hard thinking about being embarrassed. I sometimes think Mistress tries to avoid embarrassing me which is a pity because I really do fantasize about her making me do things specifically to embarrass me. It's one of the reasons I spend so much time thinking about cum eating, cross-dressing, being written on, and even considering piss play.
8. Never manipulate him. I love the idea of being manipulated. Being told to wear my chastity device when Mistress knows how much I dislike it feels very manipulative to me. Knowing I don't want to wear it, but knowing I need to do as she says to keep our D/s dynamic going. It's a mind fuck to have to do something I don't want to do. Also having to do things to earn release or to earn D/s is a hot way to manipulate me.
9. Never boss him. I like being bossed both in and out of the bedroom. If Mistress wanted to boss me more than she does now I'd be very OK with it.
10. Never laugh at his mistakes or faults. I can imagine Mistress setting me up to fail at a task and then using that opportunity to make fun of me. I can also imagine her laughing at me when I am tied down or dressed up and emasculating me for my "needs".
11. Never put any person before him. In the past Mistress has been with a woman, and for that reason I have long fantasized about Mistress having a girlfriend a Mistress or a female slave of her own. I have thought about Mistress cuckolding me with a woman. I would be home while she went out with her girlfriend, or I would be told to sleep in a cage or in another room while Mistress girlfriend stayed the night. I would have to get up and cook them breakfast and serve it to them.
13. Never be inconsiderate of his feelings. In a D/s context I relish when Mistress is inconsiderate of my feelings. Whether it's not letting me cum, forcing me into chastity, hitting my balls, hitting me when I am restrained until I am begging to stop, making me wear nighties when I don't want to, making me do what I promised to do when I was on the edge. All of these things require Mistress to be inconsiderate of my feelings. Especially as I ask her to do things to me that I know will make me mad at the time. It's considering my feelings to be inconsiderate of my feelings (With a double negative like that, no wonder D/s can be so hard in a relationship).
14. Never tell his personal business. I have a fantasy of being outed by Mistress to another woman. When I first met Mistress she shared our relationship with a friend or two, but I'm not sure how much. I can still imagine Mistress telling someone something about my proclivities. I imagine it would be in a drunken state on a trip far away from home.
In conclusion, Mistress is very, very good to me. She respects me, loves me, puts up with this side of me and makes me feel like the most important person in the world. I feel astronomically lucky to have found her. Sometimes I think she loves me so much she can't push me the way I think I want. I think she may fear hurting me or pushing me away. I can sense a reluctance to push my limits or maybe it just takes too much energy to do so. Either way after spending nearly a week thinking about the book page she sent me and how I am wired, I can assure Mistress that I need the opposite of what the book says men need. This is not meant to be a pushy bottom email, just a communicative one.