Sunday, October 11, 2015

A recap of last night's scene

Mistress and I have had a TON going on lately.  Not only has our time to be intimate been reduced, we've had a lot of work to do and stress has been higher than normal.  With increased stress I have been a little bit snippy lately.  I have had a bad tone to my voice and for lack of a better term, I have talked down to Mistress.  I hate it when I get this way.  It's one reason my marriage failed so I know I have some work to do.  I catch myself getting frustrated and have a lot self-talk about how it's not anything she is doing, but it's about how I react.  Mistress took the high road and gave me a session last night to try and deal with my attitude.  Here is my recollection.

During the last day or so Mistress had been hinting that I'd better watch myself or she was going to do something about my attitude.  Her talk escalated into talking about a sever edging session with a good beating.  Part intrigued me and part scared me especially with all of my talk about wanting her to hurt me beyond what I want.  When we got home early from a party she had me get the bed ready as well as myself.  We use some very simple straps that go under the bed, but they hold me as strong as any 4 poster bed would.  I put on my pink wrist and ankle restraints, put some towels down and put some femdom porn on the bedroom TV.  Mistress had me blindfold myself  and slide some big rubber bands around my upper thighs while she went around the bed securing my limbs to the 4 corners of the bed.  I was spread out and couldn't move.  Mistress teased my cock some and talked to me about my attitude.

Now here is where my story may jump around and get fuzzy.  I had a slight buzz going on from alcohol at the party and a few drinks of wine I had when we got some.  Being tied up always makes my mind a little mushy and the endorphins I had running through me made me lose a sense of time.

As Mistress proceeded to talk to me about my attitude, she would alternate between snapping the rubber bands around my upper thighs and stroking my cock.  I know I am wrong and had no qualms about admitting it.  She mentioned that to help me remember our talk I would be going back into chastity for a week on Monday morning.  As much as I don't want that to happen, I also think it will be good for us.  It will remind me that Mistress has full control over me and she can do what she wants.  I also hope that by me willfully and enthusiastically accepting it, it will empower her to be crueler to me.

Mistress put something in my mouth.  It was her wet fingers.  It was heavenly.  I so wanted her to keep feeding me her pussy juices.  I longed for her to put her dirty panties under my nose.  I wanted that so much I played a video with a Mistress doing just that.


Mistress also put her strapon in my ass.  She didn't wear it, but she got it in my ass (I am guessing about half way).  It has been a few months since I had something in my ass.  As much as I hate to admit it, it was heavenly.  While I occasionally wear a butt plug this was much better.  Being close to her, having her cock in my ass while stroking my cock was a perfect cocktail of lust.  I wanted her to rape my ass at that point, but didn't tell her so.  She edged me close enough that the dildo was able to milk some cum out of my cock.  I imagined her fucking my ass to get me to use my safe word.  Maybe we will have to get the fucking machine out of storage to make that happen some day.

Still during all of this Mistress would snap the rubber bands or hit me with some other device.  I kept begging her to hurt me until I used my safe word.  She kept bringing me to the edge over and over again, expertly not letting me get too close.  It was like she had gotten much better at edging me.

At one point during the scene, Mistress used a device on my balls to try and get me to safe word.  She expertly hit one testicle.  The sensation was of a smack to the scrotum which hurt, but went away, but then also a deep throbbing pain in my testicle.  Out of everything she had done to me, this was the most likely to get me to safe word, but I was resolute that she would have to do it to me 10 or more times to get me to crack.  After she hit my ball she stroked my cock.  The sensation was something very unique.  While my ball hurt in a bad way, the stroking felt amazing, but at the same time agonizing.  As I got closer to the edge, my testicle would hurt more.  It was a perfect mind fuck as I wanted her to keep stroking but the pain in my ball made me want her to stop.

Mistress kept up her teasing.  She used the Hitachi under my balls and stocked my cock.  She would bring me to the edge so quickly and so strongly that I thought I would cum.  Mistress would remove her hand but press the Hitachi under my perineum which would just keep me on the edge.  She would touch my cock, but I don't know how she was doing it as the buzzing from the Hitachi overrode how I could feel things.

Mistress stopped this for a bit and hit my other testicle.  This one hurt just like the first, but it also brought back the pain from the first hit.  As she stroked my cock , both of my balls throbbed with pain as my cock enjoyed the stroking.  This was a good mind fuck.

Mistress went back to using the Hitachi on me and stroking my cock to keep me on the edge.  I am not kidding when I write this.  This was the best edging experience of my life.  Instead of going up to the edge and back, she just kept me right at the top of the sensation.  As great as it was it was also terrible.  I was straining every muscle to try and cum.  My body wanted to cum badly, but my submissive brain didn't want me to.  My biological need to cum was battling my submissive brain.  I was straining, begging her to both let me cum and also to not let me cum.  I wanted her to hurt me worse.  I wanted to beg her to stop.  I was afraid I was going to safe word from this sensation and not physical pain.  I wanted this heaven & hell sensation to last forever.

In the end Mistress coaxed the beginning of an orgasm from me.  She stopped before I got the full effect, so in effect it was partially ruined.  It was enough that I got some sub drop and used my safe word before anything else could happen.

Looking back to last night I have some takeaways.

  • Again, best edging experience of my life.  It kind of scares me how intense it felt.  I would liken it to the forced multiple orgasms you see girls get in porn, as I had intense pleasure almost bordering on pain and it wouldn't stop.  I could see myself getting literally exhausted if it had kept going.
  • I am in pain, not from the beating but from straining my muscles during the tease.  Especially my back muscles and my hip flexors. It was a great workout.
  • While the rubber bands and beating hurt, I likely could have taken twice or three times as much.  I really do want to be hurt until I'm mad and in tears and until I safe word.    
  • The ball hitting.  This is the part that intrigues me the most.  As much as I hate that feeling of having my testicles hurt, the sensation was undeniable.  Adding stroking to it and it was a perfect heaven and hell torture.  I'm reminded of when I first met Mistress and we were in a hotel for a Halloween event.  She tied me to the bed, gagged me and beat the hell out of my balls.  I get hard just thinking about it.
  • I wish Mistress would have had an orgasm or 10, as the whole thing was pretty much about me.  I was hoping she would have taken multiple orgasms for herself while I sat suffering in pain.
  • I am very, very happy to see Mistress take control of me and put me in my place.  I don't do well trying to be the bossy one or getting defensive.  Last night was a good "reset" for me.  I crave living in a Female Led Relationship with a good dose of Female Domination.
  • We have another couple stressful months so I'd better behave before I end up beaten, bruised and in chastity, or worse, no D/s...       
I love my Mistress!        

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