Progress better than expected

I’m a few days shy of 2 weeks in servant mode.  My 1st inclination is to feel that things aren’t going as well as I’d like l, which is true, but I must admit they are going far better than they could be going. In reality Mistress could have rejected my servitude outright. Here’s where we stand now. 

If I wake early enough I weigh myself, put on feminine deodorant and a small spray of perfume. Mistress shouldn’t have to smell my body odor and the scent goes straight to my brain as a submissive trigger.  I immediately do a quick 15 minute workout in whatever nighty I wore to bed to get the blood pumping. After that I set down and type a morning mantra for about 20 minutes. This weeks was “My only purpose is to serve and obey Mistress” 80 times with lines added for mistakes. I then check this blog for comments and then I take a bit of time to find motivation in servitude.

As soon as Mistress arises I start her coffee.  I prepare it the night before in case she gets up before me.  As she enjoys her coffee I make the bed  one day a week I must change the sheets and wash the dirty ones. Sheets used to be one of Mistress’s chores that she has happily placed on me.  I don’t like doing it, but for that reason I love that she is making me do it.  Last week and today I will be cleaning the shower and vanity.

Also in the morning I take the dog for a short walk and then feed him while Mistress is still lounging in her chair with her coffee.  Having her sit while I toil pushes all of my submissive buttons.  A normal guy would be resentful.  I worship this kind of behavior.

A short time later we go on a long walk together with the dog for our morning exercise.  Upon our return Mistress had me prepare her breakfast before I prepare mine. This too is new for us and I like it. While I’m cooking I look over at her on her phone playing games or scrolling Facebook ignoring me completely.  What a rush  

After breakfast I make sure all the dishes are done and then I go take a shower and shave my body.  

The rest of the day is work.  We both work from home so I can wait on her as needed. More often than not, Mistress makes lunch but I clean up. 

In the evenings one or both of us cooks dinner and I do the dishes.  I used to do the dishes when I wanted to but now I do them immediately after we eat to show my desire to keep serving in this capacity.  My fear is that if I wait too long to do a chore, Mistress will just do it herself which defeats the purpose.  My goal is to make me doing chores so much a part of our lives that when I drop the ball Mistress will call me out on it and hold me accountable.  

At bed time I go walk the dog one last time while Mistress gets ready for bed.  I brush my teeth and put on one of my nighties.  Mistress has reinstated the rule that I wear a nighty every night.  I don’t have to per se, but failure to do so indicates to her that my servitude is not sincere.  Sometimes it’s really hard to put on the nighty because the rest of our D/s life isn’t the way I want it.  I want to be told to do it.  This is why this reset is so important.  This is no longer exclusively how I want it.  Mistress’s needs and desires come before mine.

One new twist is that I got a little condescending with Mistress.  She told me to put on my chastity device which I did immediately.  I’ve now been locked since Tuesday and honestly hope to stay locked for a few months at a minimum.  If I wasn’t locked I would have seriously considered sneaking off and masturbating a couple of nights ago as well as this morning.  Being locked in chastity while being in non-sexual servitude mode is a real mind fuck.  Sleeping in chastity and a nighty definitely keeps my male ego in check.

I stared this post saying things aren’t going as well as I had hoped.  That’s true, but only because I tend to try to do too much too fast. I realize this now. We have started with a good foundation. Mistress is doing better than I expected with me doing chores while she lounges. She’s held me to a task a few times but not every time. I’m sure it’s hard to be extra bossy with your spouse when he’s pushed back for 13 years as I have. I have to prove myself. 

That being said I’m going to encourage Mistress to keep adding tasks to my daily routine. To put me to work when she sees me with free time as I spend far too much time on my phone. To slowly take away my freedoms. To punish me as necessary.  To take more control and to truly make me regret what I’ve requested.  I want her to feel empowered and turned on by making me do whatever she wishes. 

I can see a pushy bottom aspect to the previous paragraph which I why it’s purposely vague.  I want to be controlled but I can’t have a say in what that ultimately looks like.