Femme

This morning's edge had me edging to the thought of wearing feminine items.  I was thinking about my painted toenails which made me think of painted fingernails or even fake nails.  I thought about Miss Bossy Bitch enforcing a panties only policy again.  I imagined having to wear pantyhose or stockings and a bra or camisole for extended periods of time and she would make me send her pictures as proof.  I imagined having to wear black opaque stockings with no socks when I went to visit customers.  I would imagine they would know, but it's likely they wouldn't even notice.  I imagine MBB making me keep my little tuft of pubic hair in a feminine style.  I imagine being told to wear feminine deodorant as well as mascara. I imagine Mistress having me wear something Femme at night when she comes home from work.  I imagined having to wear women's shorts around the house and yard on the weekends.  The would be deniable from a distance, but not close up.

I imagined Mistress asking for my credit card and she would go online and buy things for me as a humiliating surprise.  Or she would make me buy things in person (I get butterflies just thinking about it).  For my last edge I imagined Mistress would make me post my Sophia pictures online with my face blurred.

I love my Mistress!

Ball Beating

Mistress made me cum on Sunday and although it was a full orgasm, I am on 10 again.  After shaving my body yesterday I painted my toenails.  I don't think Mistress would have made me as it's so close to summer barefoot weather.  I am in such a slutty mood right now, I wanted to have pretty pink toenails.

I saw the video below yesterday and couldn't get it out of my mind.  The best I can tell is the man is tied face down in the bed.  If he's not tied down, I don't know how on earth he isn't squirming more.  His balls are bound into a tight package without being too tight.  His cock is forced between is legs and is pointing toward his feet.  His Mistress starts out with the Hitachi on his cock head and then immediately starts hitting him in the balls with her riding crop.  While the hitting doesn't look too hard I know I would be twice as loud and squirmy as this guy.  Now the real evil thing is the Hitachi gets him off in about 90 seconds and she doesn't stop.  She continues to beat his balls and occasionally his cock for another 6 minutes.  Since he has just cum, there is no arousal helping him with the pain.  Everything is much more sensitive and not in a good way.  You can hear him choke a little on his own spit due to the pain.  Now while watching this, I have a raging hard on.  I would be edging to this right now if I had some privacy.  While it turns me on, I can also feel a knot in my stomach knowing just how much this would hurt and how much it would suck.  I am sure this guy would have some bruising on his balls.  That is so hot...

This is a perfect example of something that I would hate while it happened and then once I got over the shock and possibly anger, I would fantasize about it for the rest of my life.  The pure loss of control, the wanting it to stop and it not stopping makes my head spin in subspace.

Try this link here - http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=wFPXF-S564-

Mean thoughts

I don't know why it is, but I can't get the concept of wanting my Mistress to be meaner to me out of my mind.  Yesterday morning, I was imagining her using those crusty cum filled panties as a gag.  I imagined her locking me in chastity for more than a few days without releasing me for any reason.  I imagined her beating me until I safe-worded.  I imagined her humiliating me online or in front of a friend of hers.  I imagined being forced to wear a bra and pantyhose or the straight jacket to bed.  I imagined her shocking me with the Tazapper and the shocking dog collar.  I imagined having to tie myself to the bed with a blindfold and headphones before she comes home from work knowing I am going to suffer.  I imagined having to be dressed in women's clothes every day when she comes home from work.  I imagined her giving me chores that must be completed without fail, or else.  I imagined her doing things that would push my buttons and test my resolve to do as I am told.  I imagined she wanted to fuck with my mind...

In a mood

I am lying in bed in my nighty.  I have been awake since 5:30 thinking all sorts of naughty thoughts.  I will soon be masturbating into a pair of panties per my Mistress' instructions.  I realized that this is the first time in probably 6-7 years I knew in advance that I was going to cum. It's a little mind boggling since before I embraced the orgasm denial lifestyle, I came just about every day and on those days multiple times.

I wanted to write before I came as I know that as soon as I do my libido will drop and I wanted to get some of the things running through my mind written down as they are especially twisted today.  Mistress wanted to get some things done around the house and get a little alone time.  I can appreciate that as I get a good amount of alone time.  She works so hard that she has little time to herself.  That made me think of what she could do when we no longer have our 2nd home.  I imagined her telling me she needed another weekend to herself, but this time I would be locked in the dungeon for an entire weekend.  I would be locked in chains and chastity, but more or less free to roam, but I would be locked in the room.  I also imagined Mistress forcing Sophia (my feminine side) to find an online Master and do anything he made Sophia do.  I imagined  my Mistress beating me in front of her D/s curious friend. I imagined Mistress having Sophia drive her to the airport.  I imagined Mistress making me deposit a certain amount of money each paycheck into an account and she would use that to buy D/s or feminine things for her/us.  I imagined Mistress finding ways to test my submission, trying to get me to tell her no.  I imagined sunbathing in my bikini bottoms again this summer.  I imagined Mistress cumming all over my face time and again.  I imagined Mistress wearing a pair of panties each day and making me wear the same dirty pair the next day. I imagined Mistress tying me to the bed and torturing my balls like that girl in the video in yesterday's post. I imagined Mistress making me give her an orgasm every day with no orgasms for me.  I imagine Mistress keeping a bunch of toys out on the dresser to keep them in her mind and to make them easily accessible.  Ahh,  now it's time to cum.  I so don't want to do this...

Comments Please

I get a small handful of readers every day.  My Mistress reads this blog, so if you have any comments, ideas, etc to give her or myself, please feel free to do so.  We would appreciate it very much.

Being Forced

Last night when Miss Bossy and I were getting ready for bed, she told me she had intended for me to sleep in a nighty.  She knows I hadn't slept well, and she told me she wasn't going to make me wear one.  I don't recall saying anything back to her.  What I was saying to myself was this... "Should I tell her I want to wear one regardless of how well I have slept? Will she think I am being a pushy bottom if I ask her to do with me as SHE wishes?".  I chickened out and didn't say anything, plus I was somewhat relieved that I didn't have to wear one.  At the same time I wish she would have made me wear one.  The logical side of my brains would have wished she didn't, but the libido part of my brain would be doing back flips with excitement.  There would have been a small battle in my brain, but the libido wins 80% of the time.  I would have slept and been in constant knowledge of my place in our relationship.  I would have woken up with naughtier than usual thoughts in my mind.  I would have gotten out of bed slightly emasculated and humiliated in front of her.  That may sound bad, it it drills right through all of my mach bullshit straight to my heart.  While I hate not being able to sleep, there is so hot to have that reason be my Mistress.

That reminds me of a couple quotes I have seen over the years. "it's not submission if it's what the sub wants", or "it's not bondage until you want out".

There is something amazingly hot about doing something you don't want to do.  For example, Mistress and I will be apart this weekend.  She has instructed me to cum in a pair of panties tomorrow morning.  Now I have been doing teasing and denial for so long now, I actually dislike cumming on my own.  I love to be under her control when I cum and to not have a choice in the matter.  So tomorrow morning I will have to cum.  I will so not want to do it,  I will be cumming into a pair of panties, full well knowing those panties will be used in some future scene.  Is it something I want to do, no.  Does it make my head spin with desire knowing she is making me do something I don't want to, YES!  Do I want her to keep forcing me to do things I don't want to do?  YES!  Do I want her to push my boundaries, keep me on my toes, humiliate and hurt me, and not care what I think until after a few days after she has done it?  YES!

I have added a ton of pictures to my Tumblr account.  Apparently I am in quite the mood today.

Today I edged watching this video.  It's of a couple where the woman keeps hitting her man in the balls.  My Mistress loves this and I hate/like it.  I could totally see my Mistress doing this to me, but I have no clue how this guy takes it unrestrained and not gagged.

http://firesque.tumblr.com/post/39466982773/taoist4tease-color-amateur-cbt-12-minute-video

Nipple Torture

Almost 3 years ago I got my nipples pierced.  My plan was to be able to use the piercings for D/s games such as weights, feminine nipple jewelry, predicament bondage, etc.

The problem is my nipples never really healed.  They got overly sensitive to where any mild stimulation was overly painful.  In addition one of my piercings began to migrate, so about 6 weeks ago I removed them.  I used to have "innie" nipples, and the piercing has no made them "outties" which I prefer.

That brings me to this mornings edge.  I edged thinking about Mistress torturing my nipples.  I thought of being tied up and having her start with nipple suction to get the nipples engorged with blood.

After they were nicely filled with blood, Mistress would take one clover clamp and put it on one nipple.  She would then move it every 5 minutes to the other nipple to keep the pain going back and forth.  Worse than the clamp going on, is it coming off.  Far worse.  She would do this until I safe worded (or longer).

I can also imagine this device, with the screw being turned every few minutes to increase the tension or nipple being tied to the ceiling winch forcing my on my tip toes.

I also imagine being put in a very difficult predicament bondage position.  I treid to find me with the nipples in predicament but couldn't.  I imagine nipple clamps being tied to my ankle straps and just left to be.  The tension would be killer.

I can also see her using the wartenburg wheel on my nipples and also something like an emery board or sand paper.  I have read about Icy Hot being good for nipple torture (not to mention other body parts). 

I can imagine doing this so long my nipples would be chapped and they would be sore for a few days.  The device below is devious  It's got either sand paper or little spikes in it.  Used alone or after nipple torture it would be a constant reminder.

Lastly I imagine having to torture my own nipples while Mistress is out of town. She would warn me that there better be some sort of marks to prove I was sufficiently mean to myself or there would be hell to pay...

What an edge I had!

Time Apart

Soon my Mistress and I will be spending some time apart.  Today's edge had me thinking of when she will be out of town in a few weeks.  I imagined her teasing me for a couple days before she leaves and then an hour before we leave for the airport she would either make me cum or not let me cum, but either way she would lock me up in chastity.  I would drive her to the airport plugged or dressed a certain way.  During her trip she would have given me some assignments.  Either randomly via email or with notes hidden around the house.  I would be forced to take pictures of myself in compromising situations, run errands, use toys on myself, do web cam shows, etc.  If I failed at any task I would get a severe beating on my ass or balls or both.  I don't know why it is, but when we are apart I feel like jumping through nasty hoops for her.

Long Term Edging

This morning I woke up feeling a little nauseous.  When I feel this way I tend to try and go to my "happy place" which almost always is me thinking about my nastiest, dirtiest, most humiliating desires.  While lying in bed I had a couple ideas in my mind and then decided to pull out my iPad.  I was catching up on some Tumblr posts when I ran into this one.


It’s a common request for a girl like me to receive, a boy saying something like: “I want the longest tease and denial EVER” or “I wanna be kept on edge for HOURS.”

The problem being that boys, in the privacy of their homes, are free to email me while their cock is in their hands. Meanwhile, this clear-thinking, capable domme is reading your message, and realizing you need to be taught a once-in-a-lifetime LESSON.

Once my inescapable straps are locked, forcing your neck and wrists back awkwardly, trapping your immobile waist, so that it hurts to struggle, so you can’t even twist—you get your lesson. A full hour (no editing tricks—A FULL HOUR) of being edged, stupid boy. Hope you wanted what you thought you wanted.

An incredible, merciless clip. Be warned.




That in turn got me checking out her page.  She is pretty darn creative and devious.  My Mistress is a pretty damn good tease artist in her own right.  Keeping me on edge, not letting me cum.  She has even learned the art of a ruined orgasm.  Just thinking about being restrained and kept on the edge or hours make my head spin like I just took a shot of hard liquor.  It's amazing how much of a buzz I get from this kind of stuff.  It's also amazing the things I would agree to do when in that teased state of mind. It's a potentially dangerous place for me to go...

Some additional images from this site http://christinaqccp.tumblr.com/

Teasing and more teasing

This morning's edging had me thinking about relentless, evil, body convulsing mind bending teasing with no chance for orgasm.  Where I agree to do "anything", humiliating myself with words until I am in tears.  IT is at the same time unbearable and something I live for.  I don;t know how to explain it.  Here are some images that paint a picture of what I am talking about.

Hot Story

Here is the story I edged to this morning...


Anyways, back to my first vacation story.

That all happened before we left, and his suggestion of ass fucking moi is what got him into his first humiliating little predicament.

I told him that as punishment for that suggestion he would be first getting a paddling, and then a severe ass pounding from Adam (his biggest dildo, strapped onto me), every single day of our vacation (He usually gets it pretty hard on vacations anyway, but it was nice that he gave me an excuse!).

Full Story HERE - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/03/back-from-vacation.html

Sweet Spot

Here are the pictures I edged to this morning.  I sooooo wanted to cum this morning.  My mind was trying to convince me that I could cum with no consequences.  Gladly I did not listen.  I love the feeling I have right now. Being so horny and there is nothing I can do to relieve the desire to cum.  I am in the sweet spot of wanting to cum so very much and so not wanting to cum.

Awesome device

This is the picture I edged to this morning. I imagined MBB putting me in such a device and not letting me out for hours. She would make me service her front and back. Lick her toes. Feed me. Out make up on me. Force things into my mouth.  Mmmmmmm.

Dress Up

Last week MBB told me to wear something sexy on Thursday.  I chose a brown sweater dress and some panties.  I was out of my outfit by the time she got home which while a relief is also a let down.  To be dressed a certain way in front of her is certainly a form of erotic humiliation.  When MBB said for me to "wear something sexy" I debated on feminine sexy or masculine sexy.  I have a men's latex shirt and shorts that are sexy, but not what I thought she had in mind.  I chose feminine, and classy versus slutty.

Thinking about that is what I edged to this morning.  Thinking about not getting to choose what I am wearing is a mind fuck.  Especially now that all of our cameras are hooked back up to the internet, MBB can see me at my desk all day.  Of course my dirty mind had me take it to the next level  I imagined MBB telling me to pack every piece of male clothing I owned and put it in a locked suitcase or even a storage unit.  She would tell me my clothes would be returned to me one week later.  I could wear whatever I wanted or nothing at all for that matter.  What she didn't tell me that was anything I owned which was not overtly feminine had also been removed from the house.  All of that thinking got me to the edge very quickly several times that I never got beyond it and had to stop edging before I could elaborate on it.  My pic to go with this post is a crossdresser outfit I could imagine having to wear while I work at home.

Meaner

A few weeks ago I read a post that has had my mind going. It was a survey a blogger did as she was under the impression most submissive's wanted a "meaner" Mistress. Another reason that this stuck in my mind is that my Mistress (MBB) had recently mentioned how she would make a great pro-Domme because she could be so mean to clients they would come begging for more.

The Survey...

What Do You Mean By “Mean?” 

Harsher punishments 98 (53%)
More humiliating tasks 88 (48%)
Longer periods of denial 81 (44%)
More ruined orgasms 73 (39%)
Longer periods of chastity 70 (38%)
More chores to perform 41 (22%)
More stifled orgasms 32 (17%)

Votes so far: 183

Full article is here http://mistressivey.blogspot.com/2013/01/mean-poll-results.html?zx=ed0a1ed083d5df37

Add my Mistress' comments about being mean if she was a pro and that has kind of had my mind spinning.  What would she do to other guys?  How mean would she really be?  Does loving me make it hard for her to be "mean" to me?

So what is mean? To me, mean is what someone else looking in would think was mean. For me being in a D/s relationship it actually means the opposite. It means my Mistress cares enough about me to treat me in ways only she could. To push past my pre-conceived limits and take me to new places would probably seem "mean" to me even initially, but would actually be a huge wow afterward.  Even chastity which I hate so much has a place in the mean category.  I often fantasize about things that are gross, humiliating, painful, boring, etc.  When I fantasize about it, I imagine hating it, even getting pissed off, but to see MBB looking me in the eyes while she did it, as she pushed through my pissiness would be so fucking hot.  To be taken to anger, fear or embarrassment and brought back from it seems so amazing.  To have the strength to do that on her end would be a challenge as well.  It's tough to seriously fuck with someone you care about.

All of that being said, I have a raging hard on just writing about all of this.  

   

Fucking Machine

Yesterday's edge had me thinking about all of the possibilities of our fucking machine.  Too bad there aren't more ideas of submissive guys having to endure such torture.