Mean thoughts

I don't know why it is, but I can't get the concept of wanting my Mistress to be meaner to me out of my mind.  Yesterday morning, I was imagining her using those crusty cum filled panties as a gag.  I imagined her locking me in chastity for more than a few days without releasing me for any reason.  I imagined her beating me until I safe-worded.  I imagined her humiliating me online or in front of a friend of hers.  I imagined being forced to wear a bra and pantyhose or the straight jacket to bed.  I imagined her shocking me with the Tazapper and the shocking dog collar.  I imagined having to tie myself to the bed with a blindfold and headphones before she comes home from work knowing I am going to suffer.  I imagined having to be dressed in women's clothes every day when she comes home from work.  I imagined her giving me chores that must be completed without fail, or else.  I imagined her doing things that would push my buttons and test my resolve to do as I am told.  I imagined she wanted to fuck with my mind...