Plugged again

MBB wasted no time in getting me ramped up again.  After a great birthday weekend, I am plugged yet again for 3 hours.  Today, I also had to sun tan in full bikini (I actually have a light bow tan on my back right now).  I do feel like such a slut being in a bikini and having the tan lines I do.

I haven't been giving much thought to naughty stuff lately, I'm not sure why.  We have been talking about a threesome a lot lately and while it sounds very exciting it seems like it's probably more work to get one going than its worth. It almost seems like one of those things that just happen when they happen.  Of course we also need to spend time with other people a little more than we have been to improve our odds. 

Other than that, not a lot going on in my mind right now.

Today's post

Again I have too much going on in the noggin to have much to say.  I have really not been thinking about much in the naughty sort of way, but I am looking forward to an amazing weekend with MBB!

Good Orgasm

Last night's orgasm was amazing.  I think having an orgasm when you don't think you are going to get to have to be one of the best.  It takes so much effort to hold back that when I finally get to cum its amazing.

Too busy today to think of naughty things, darn it.

Feeling Naughty

Lately MBB has been throwing the threesome idea in my head.  She teased that on my upcoming birthday that she wants us to be chatting up girls and trying to take one to our room.  She has also had me find threesome stories and while searching for those I have found sme pretty hot pics as well.

Yesterday I had to wear my plug for three hours and today I had to wear something feminine besides my panties.  I chose a super tight camisole.  I feel weird putting things on that could be seen but once I am in it, I feel hot and naughty (mostly).

I also had some time to tan in my bikini bottoms.  I am getting such a little trashy tan line.  I tried a pair of mnes thongs I have from my younger days to try and cover my cock and balls better, but it just wasn't the same.  I went back and put my bikini bottoms back on.  I think the string part of the bikini, the bows on each side, the fact they are women's and trying to keep my junk into it all makes it much naughtier.

I also stroked today.  I was stroking to devine bitches videos.  They do some amazing stuff.  They are brutal.  I like to think I could be on there, but I don't think I could handle it.  Or maybe I could, who knows.  It could be one of those things that while I am doing it, it would be difficult, but it would be a major turn on every time I thought of it...

I am a very lucky slave...

Today's post

Between yesterday and today I have been swamped with getting stuff done.  In turn I have had little thoughts regarding D/s.  MBB sent me an email today with tasks to do.  I got most of them done before I left the house, but hope to get one done later by my hand or MBB's hand.  I also think MBB thinks that our scene on Sunday may have caused me some issues or reason to pull back, but it didn't. Sunday's scene was perfect as MBB took control of me and pushed me into a situation that grossed me out, which is exactly what I wanted and was looking for.  It's one of the counter intuitive things about D/s.  How can you want something to be done to you when you really don't want it to be done.  It's all about being forced or to have it taken from you.  Just the thought of not having a say in what happens to me when I am restrained is such a fucking turn on.

Good scene

Last night MBB and I had a quick and naughty scene.  MBB tied me to the bed in such a way I could barely move.  Although a few hard slaps on the balls really tested the bonds and my ability to move.  After some nice cock sucking (on her part) she mounted me and quickly rode herself to 2 orgasms.  It must be nice to be easy to cum AND multi orgasmic.  I'm jealous.  MBB then stroked my cock and I was quickly on the edge.  She then put on her strap on, lubed it up and easily entered me. She lubed up my cock some more and fucked me hard while stroking my cock.  She told me I was going to cum and that's the reason she tied me down so well.  I thought for sure it was so she could keep stroking me after I came.  Instead she forced me to cum and then told me to lick up the cum she put on her hand.  I really have no choice in the matter.  My fight or flight response kicks up and there is little I can do.  MBB proceeded to smear it all over my face and lips and then got up to clean up.  She threatened me with leaving it to dry.  I wasn't too worried as I could see with all of the ball smacking and me trying to get away from my cum that I could reach one of the knots.  Instead she took mercy on me.  As soon as I was free I ran to the shower and washed my cum of me.  Even though I have cum, I can't imagine eating cum with silicone lube.  Eccchhhhh.

Overall it was a good scene in that MBB pushed my buttons.  I was lying there pissed at myself for the fantasies I write about.  It's a pretty good mind fuck. 

Teased and Denied

Last night MBB decided to tie me to the bed and stroke my cock for a while.  It's the first time in over a week that she hasn't let me cum when we have been intimate.  I don't know how to explain being what being denied does to me.  I love cumming.  It is the most amazing feeling in the world.  Everything that leads up to it is the next best thing.  So when I am continuously given the next best thing, but kept from the most amazing thing.  It's such a mind fuck.  Also, when I cum some of my horniness drops off.  I like to think of it like a balloon.  The more air in the balloon the more pressure.  You can keep putting more air into it and it gets very fragile and becomes vulnerable to popping.  So a full blown orgasm is like popping it and you need a new balloon to get me going again.  Getting to the edge to where some cum drips out is like blowing and losing a little bit of air between breaths.  Getting me to the point of no return and then removing your hands as an orgasm starts is like letting go of a balloon and watching it fly around the room.  Since the balloon wasn't popped, you don't have any air in it, but you still have the balloon and don't have to start over.  It's a lot like that.  I have a love hate relationship with orgasm denial.

I also just hit the 3 hour mark of wearing my butt plug.  I need to go remove it and manscape.  I am feeling pretty naughty right now!

Humiliation

I am not sure why this is, but I have been fantasizing about humiliation.  The funny part is I hate to be humiliated.  I think it's because it's another kind of loss of control.  I imagine a woman seeing me in feminine clothes, or my panties, or even just pictures.  I also imagine one being in the room with MBB and me and verbally taunting me.  It's very hot to think about, but I am sure in reality, would be much harder to go through.  Also it would be hot to have random women emailing me (at MBB's instruction) to tell me that they saw my pics and what a slut I was.   Especially if it was pictures that were not online.

"Be careful for what you wish for"

More thoughts

As a follow up to yesterday's post on things going through my mind.  I have been fantasizing a lot about a couple of machines. 

The first is a milking machine like the Venus 2000.  It seems like perfect pleasure that turns into torture.  It also seems like a great device that once set up, it takes no effort on the part of the Domme.  To think that the stroke rate can be set at just the edge of release and then the Domme can just let it work or she can inflict other torments on him.  And then when and if an orgasm is allowed, the machine has no mercy like my Mistress.  It can just be left on, sucking and sucking.  Even when I get through the super sensitive part of a session the machine could keep me hard and possibly get another orgasm out of me without stopping.  All with no effort on my Mistress's part.

The other is a fucking machine.  I can imagine being tied on my back or to some piece of furniture with my ass in the air.  MBB would lube up the dildo and put it on a slow pace to start.  As it worked itself in my ass, she would add plenty of lube and then turn it up to a medium fast pace.  I don't imagine this being used for pleasure, but for punishment.  Getting fucked fast, long, and hard would be so mentally draining.  She could then also use my mouth or just walk around me mocking me.  I just thought of another use.  Use the machine to rape my mouth. hmmmmm.  The nice thing about a fucking machine is she could use it too!

A lot of naughty thoughts

Even though I just had an orgasm last night, today has been a lot of dirty thoughts.  I have had a lot of thoughts lately about dungeon scenes in the Men in Pain videos.  Dark dungeons with chains and ropes hanging everywhere.  I think of myself in a leather harness that holds the chest (the videos have rope harnesses).  My arms would be bound behind my back, but high enough I couldn't use my hands to block my ass from a beating.  Since my arms wouldn't be above my head, I could stay in this position for an almost unlimited amount of time.  I imagine MBB fucking with me on lots of ways and giggling every time she made me mad or frustrated.

I also have been imaging being tied in a chair that allows my ball to hand freely.  MBB would have them bound in a tight little package so she could tap them for minutes on end.  Tapping them at the same mild strength and pace, until the tension builds so much I am screaming and sweating.  She would joke about how lightly she was actually hitting them and would occasionally give it a harder tap to show me just how lightly she is actually doing it.

Very soon we will be able to do these things without worrying about digging out the toys and putting them away.  I can't wait!.

Today has been an interesting day.  I have been very busy at work and the day has gone by entirely too fast.  That being said, I am in a very horny mood, but nothing specific.  My thoughts have been all over the board.  Most of my thoughts though have been thinking about moving soon and being able to set up a real dungeon.  Being locked in the stocks or tied face up on the cross lying flat with me at MBB's mercy.  Just the thought of it makes me hot.

I found an ad today of a bi female sub looking to submit to a Mistress.  I could see MBB having a female slave as an assistant when MBB wants to torture me.  I also imagine MBB would keep me hooded or blindfolded in this sub's presence so I would never know what she looked like.  That would be a real trip.  Or MBB could have her slave over, lock me in the cage, play with her slave and not allow me to interact at all.  That would be a real mind fuck too.

Thinking about all the thing that we could do just because it's all set up and ready to go.  I can imagine some intense scenes due to having access to all of the gear.  Also MBB would be able to have all of the equipment in sight and would probably be more inclined to use some of it. 

I also got to suntan a little bit today.  I am starting to get faint tan lines on my butt and on my hips.

Sex!

Finally.  My cold subsided enough to actually get out of the house, go see a movie on our weekly movie ritual, and yes, have sex.  We whispered lots of naughty stuff to each other while I gave MBB an orgasm or 2.  Most of which entailed me running at the mouth about feminization.  Apparently my horniness overrode my shame, and got me to negotiating.  I said how I would rather wear panties all the time and even sleep in a nighty than be in chastity.  That's the bad thing about being a horny slut like I am and MBB knowing just how horny I was.  My libido tends to write checks, my post orgasms ass doesn't want to cash.  I can readily agree to some pretty naughty stuff while on the edge of orgasm.  Then I cum, and I wonder what I just said and why.  It's has the potential to be very humiliating if I agree to do what I bargained for, or very painful if I don’t live up to the promise made. 

MBB took mercy on me and allowed me to stay out of chastity until we get back from our trip to Vegas.  Of course this is assuming I behave.  I made the mistake of thinking this was due to MBB's benevolence.  I was wrong.  Apparently MBB is holding me to my agreement above of wearing panties at all times and sleeping in a nighty.  At first I wanted to balk, but then I figured, at least I can work out, sleep, pee, etc. without the chastity device.  Wearing panties and a nighty is a small price to pay for that kind of freedom. It's also nice to know that I will be held accountable for my horny promises.  Maybe that will help me bite my tongue while being teased.

This last paragraph has given me a hard on for some reason ;)

Things are going great, and I hope MBB is as happy with my submission as I am with her dominance.

Getting there

I am so ready to quit being sick and to start feeling better... And horny.  Last night's communication should have been much better than it was.  MBB and I communicate better than I have with any other person, but the texting yesterday for the most part was not so good.  All I was trying to do was to say, although feminization does something for me, it's more of my volatile fetishes.  Little stuff like wearing clothes under my clothes, or even in a scene are easy.  Medium stuff like fashion shows, dancing, or heavier dress or "ok", but I need to be pushed a little bit.  Heavier stuff like full dress, public stuff, etc, can be done, but I really need to be pushed or coerced.  I liken it to going swimming in a cold pool.  I can and will get in, but I will take my sweet time.  You can coax me in and playfully splash me to try and speed things up, but if you push me off the edge and into the freezing cold water I'm going to have an issue.  I hope that makes sense.

The "thought" of all of this including the heavy stuff is super hot and erotic, but the actual "action" of the heavier stuff still weirds me out.  I am more confident in MBB being able to work with me and push me in a way that is hot to both of us than I have ever felt in my life.

I did buy 7 pairs of panties made for men at the request of MBB.  I can't wait to get them and wear them for her.  That should be hot.   

Still Sick :(

Unfortunately I am still sick.  Unfortunately being sick makes my libido close to nil.  I still have some basic naughty ideas, but nothing too exciting.  I can't wait to feel better so I can be my normal, super horny, naughty, thinking submissive thoughts.  Hurry up and get better! 

Getting Caught Up

I have been sick with a cold and MBB took mercy on me and waived my requirement to post for a couple days along with all of my other tasks.  I am still sick and not feeling very sexual, but I want to recap Thursday's events before any more time has elapsed.

My tasks for Thursday were to make some appointments for her and us.  The sexual components were to wear panties and a plug for a good part of the day.  I had to ask for permission to remove the plug as it was becoming very uncomfortable.  I was able to go slightly less than 3.5 hours, and I was allowed to remove the plug on the condition that I went 4 hours the next time.  Very creative and clever.

Thursday evening, I was instructed to arrive at MBB's house.  Under my clothes I was to be wearing pantyhose, a bra, and was to pack a pair of high heel shoes.  I was nervous to say the least, but also very excited.  I wore black pantyhose (the only decent pair of normal pantyhose I still have), a black bra, and my naughtiest pair of high heels.  They are black and fuchsia peep toe's with a 5" heel.  When I arrived, there was a note that told me to remove my chastity device and to strip down to my naughty things and go up to her room.  I wanted to resist, to say no, but knew I couldn't.  I put my stuff away and took off my male clothes.  I put my shoes on at the base of her stairs.  I walked up the stairs and peeked my head around the corner.  I still didn’t want to go through her seeing me this way.  She convinced me to come in and when I did, she looked at me very normally, like this was something we have done before, so I was instantly put at ease.  She was dressed in a “school teacher” outfit that she wore at Halloween.  It consists of a formal white shirt with feminine ruffles and a black pencil skirt.  It’s a very dominant look. As we embraced she rubbed my pantyhose covered cock and ass.  We kissed as she pinched my nipples through my bra. After a few minutes of kissing, she told me that I needed to be punished before we could move onto more fun stuff.  I had not completed tasks and commands over the last week and a half, and as agreed, I needed to be held accountable.  I was bent over the side of her bed with my wrists secured wide in front of me and my ankles spread slightly and tied to the posts next to the ground.  MBB did a good job of warming me up, but not too much warm up.  Being a punishment and not for fun requires less warm up.  The paddle and the strap, while they hurt didn’t feel too bad.  The punishment came with the heavy rubber beating stick.  For failing at my 6 tasks, I got 5 hits for the 5 minor offenses and 5 for the major offense.  I can honestly say that it’s the hardest I have been intentionally hit.  It hurt enough to make me mad, but it also allowed me to accept the roles we have taken in our relationship.  Although it hurt, I also felt blessed to be in this situation. 

After the beating, I was told to lie on the bed face up.  My hands were tied above my head to the two corners.   MBB then climbed on top of me and teased me with her dripping wet pussy.  She would rub all over me and lowly remove her clothes.  In short order I was back in sub-space after the recent beating took me out of subspace.  After a little bit of teasing MBB released my arms.  She wanted to watch me masturbate while wearing pantyhose and wanted me to get to the edge.  While I masturbated, she had me rub her pussy, but I wasn’t coordinated enough to do both.  MBB decided she would focus on herself while I got myself to the edge a few times.  Once she knew I was worked up, she got on her back and had me fuck her while wearing my pantyhose.  She continued to rub my feminine attire while telling me all the ways she was going to push my limits with women’s clothing.  After a short time, I asked for permission to cum which she very graciously granted.  I came in no time and found myself very exhausted all of a sudden.  I had started to come down with a cold, and the intensity of the evening’s activity speeded up the inevitable. 

A couple days later, I now have the darkest bruises I have ever had.  They are spread out to almost my hips, while the center of my butt has no markings.  We attribute that to the pantyhose been so tight as to keeping my butt all bunched up and the skin normally closer to the hips was pressed into the center.  Reflecting back on that day and night, I am cautiously excited about where MBB and I are heading.  Doing things like shopping in public is horrifying for me and I think will be psychologically difficult.  While the concept of having to do something so scary for me “seems” like it would be very hot, it’s all I can do to not make it a hard limit.  I am looking forward to MBB to show me clothes she has imagined me in as well as possible scenarios she has fantasized about me in a feminine state. 

I am very happy on my road to being owned.  I hope she feels the same way too.  

A day to reflect.

It’s pretty interesting how this week I didn’t go out Monday or Wednesday when we had our alone time.  Being locked up and by myself used to be very difficult for me, but it’s much easier now.  Knowing that I can have some time out when we are together makes chastity the rest of the time bearable.  Working out and peeing is still a pain in the ass, but I will adapt.

I really enjoy the communication we have.  It’s super fun to trade dirty texts and emails all day and know you are doing it because you want to, not because you feel you have too.  I really enjoyed waking up to a naughty task.  I also enjoyed you telling me I could get out of my plug, but the next time I have to go longer.  It will be a challenge, but I look forward to meeting as many of your challenges as I can.

The feminization is still scary for me.  I know I will be fine, but knowing I will be in pantyhose and a bra and bringing heels over gives me nervous butterflies.  Your texts earlier really will be a mind fuck if you end up doing it.  The texts read “I want to tie you up when you are all made up (hair/makeup/etc)....tease you (kind of like the story you sent me...to treat you like I would a girlfriend) and use the double dildo. “ and “I want you to dress up and make me dinner one night... “

I am very nervously looking forward to you pushing my buttons.  Pain, Humiliation and Frustration.  What a ride I am having and I hope you are having it too.  I also hoping you are starting to feel some ownership of me.

I am very in love with you my Goddess.

Last night was fun

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A place I didn't plan on going

Wow, how crazy the last 48 hours have been.  The most recent questionnaire I filled out was obviously a lot more detailed.  I also answered it as honestly as I could.  With my marriage falling apart, I searched for a lot of the reasons.  That's why everything went to storage.  I wanted to make sure that my "needs" in this lifestyle weren't what killed my marriage.  I pulled the things out of storage in the order in which I was OK with bringing them back into my life.  The questionnaire brought the thing I was most embarrassed/uncomfortable/ashamed of.  It's also one of the things that wasn't going to go away.  I think because of the embarrassed/uncomfortable/ashamed part of it, it's almost like "edge play" for me.  It's also the most likely thing that can cause sub drop in me.  I think because it really is so taboo as well as it goes into deeper places in my brain.  I think chastity also affects me regarding feminization.  That's another reason I fought the chastity device.  For some reason, in the past, the device pushed my brain into majorly naughty fantasies.

All that being said, I appreciate you being so open to me.  I appreciate you even more because you truly seem to enjoy the things I am into.  It's one thing to do what another person wants because they like it, but it's a whole other thing to get turned on by the same things.

I was totally cool keeping those items in storage for another 3-6 months, but an so turned on right now by you pushing me to talk about it, sharing my stories as well as start wearing naughty things.

You are an amazing Mistress!

Following Orders

MBB,

I was wondering when the task of creating a journal/diary was going to happen.  It seems to be a  requirement for people embarking on a  24/7 relationship from all of the advice I see online.  Good Job.

I wanted to thank you for asking for clarification on my recent submissive checklist. Obviously some of those questions were hard for me to answer, but ultimately needed to come out.  Some of the things I have done are embarrassing or humiliating.  However, sometimes I think those darker or more difficult scenes also have a bigger, deeper impact.  Much more of a mind fuck in some cases.

Chastity.  Although I hate the device, I love the firmness you are showing with it.  In the past I would have been much more passive aggressive about it or tried to "forget" to wear it, or generally make it difficult to put me in chastity.  I believe that you are instilling a healthy fear in me so that I know me trying to manipulate you will not work and will actually cause me pain or other difficult situations.  Don't get me wrong, I don't like chastity and hope to earn my release in the near future, but I do believe the symbolism of it is important at this stage of our relationship.

s