Markings

My last post mentioned how wearing a chastity belt "marks" me as Mistress' property.  Lately I have been fantasizing a lot about being marked.  The more I think about it the more ways I think someone can be "marked".  There are already several ways I am already marked. Some subtle and some not so subtle.   The number one marking I have is the lack of hair on my body.  When I met Mistress I was shaved, but I at least had armpit hair.  Mistress requires me to shave my pits as well.  Shaving my body has some deniability (biking, body building), but shaved armpits is harder to explain.  I am very aware of it when we are around others and my shirt is off.  One can be marked with clothes.  Things such as panties, bras and nighty's aren't markings of the skin but I feel marked when wearing these items.  Although they can be easily removed, they are still a reminder of my submissiveness and if anyone were to see them, I would certainly be identified as a freak. Another way I am frequently marked is nail polish.  For about 6 months a year, my toenails are painted and sometimes my fingernails as well.  I am very aware and cautious.  When spring comes and my toenails are no longer painted, there is a solid 2-3 months that when I am barefoot or in flip-flops I freak out thinking everyone can see my toenails.  There is also a very visual reminder every time I look down and see my toes.  Polish also can't be removed as easily as clothing.  My collar is also a marking and one several people ask about.  It's deniable but still makes me very aware.

I fantasize about having a tattoo that marks me as being owned by Mistress.  Neither one of us is into tattoo's (as well as the permanence of a tattoo) so that's really not an option.  I do have some henna gel that last 5-7 days, so that is a good option.  I fantasize about Mistress using the gel on me and marking my body with humiliating words and such.  Since the gel doesn't wash away it would be a constant reminder and erotically humiliating.  Magic marker would also work, especially now that they make so many colors.

The last 2 are the markings I fantasize about the most.  One is bruising.  A nice black and blue that turns yellow after a few days.  Not only are the colors a reminder, but so is the pain that comes with the bruising.  There is no washing away the marks, and there is certainly no denying the marks.  Lastly is "cutting".  I have a couple scalpels  that I got at a kink event.  I fantasize about Mistress tying me down and lightly cutting her name or something humiliating into my skin.  Mistress doesn't like blood however so that will likely not happen.  I then think about doing it to myself or hiring a tattoo or piercing artist to do it for me.  The thought of having my submission carved into my skin makes me submissively drunk.

Voluntary Chastity vs. Enforced Chastity

Last might Mistress was teasing my locked up cock and balls before bed.  She indicated that she thought the reason my balls were not very full the other night was because I had an unauthorized orgasm.  I was bummed she thought that.  Here's why.

I have a long history of being a excessive masturbator. From the time I was 11-13 I masturbated as much as possible, even to the point of rubbing myself raw.  This carried into adulthood, into my first marriage, and into my mid-thirties.  At the time I denied it, but masturbation made me not want to be as physically sexual. However as I have gotten older and discovered the benefits of orgasm denial I have learned to be chaste voluntarily.  I got so good at being chaste voluntarily that when my ex-wife first left me, I continued to be chaste even though I was single.  I liked the horniness I felt going out as a newly single man.  I also liked edging myself and fantasizing about my future in D/s.  I like the feelings of orgasm denial so much I frequently beg Miss Bossy Bitch to not let me cum.  So for her to think I came without her and without her permission upset me.  That got me thinking about voluntary chastity vs. enforced chastity.

Voluntary chastity has become easy for me, mainly because I like the desire that builds up like I explain in my balloon theory.  Some of the benefits are comfort and the ability to wear panties and other tight clothes.  It also allows Mistress full access to my cock and balls.  There is also the ability to edge and get myself even more ramped up.  A full night of sleep is also a benefit.  Some of the downsides of voluntary chastity are that I am not 100% focused on my situation.  Accidents can happen when edging (although I report these).

Regarding chastity enforced with a device, here are some good aspects.  Almost 24/7 sexual thoughts.  A feeling of being owned.  Inability to edge unless I used something like the hitachi.  No doubts about knowing I am being faithful.  Some of the bad negative things are comfort.  Sleeplessness, but that sleeplessness does allow extra dirty thoughts to manifest themselves :-).  Lack of access, for Mistress and for my own cleanliness.

While I am completely committed to voluntary chastity, I can think of some instances when enforced chastity makes sense.  If Mistress were to relentlessly tease me as much as possible and not let me cum, at some point I would likely feel the need to be locked up.  It would likely have to be after several hours or days of teasing and denying.  With excessive teasing even the most strong willed submissive would be tempted to relieve the pressure.  Another reason is Mistress' piece of mind.  I have a very open schedule that a less trusting Mistress would have a hard time with.  Now I am very faithful and I don't want to mess up the trust that Mistress has in me, however if locking me up makes her feel more trusting I understand that.  Locking me up to get my libido ramped up or put me in a submissive state of mind are other good reasons.  Even locking me up as a punishment, or just because she wants me locked up makes sense.  It's funny, the only reason that seems to bug me is that she thinks I cum without her permission.

All that being said, Mistress let me out this morning.  While I like the freedom, for some reason I felt sub drop when she gave me the key.  I'm not sure how to explain that.  I know I love my Mistress and I love her even more for putting up with me.




    

One of the hottest things I have ever heard

Laying in bed last night just before turning the lights out, Mistress was lightly teasing my cock and balls.  She mentioned that my balls didn't seem very full since I had supposedly not cum in over a week.  I assured her that I had not cum (even one drop) and that any lack of fullness was due to other life events getting in the way.  She said "put your chastity device on". I wasn't sure I heard her correctly and asked her to repeat what she said.  She did indeed want me to put my chastity device on immediately.  I complied as quickly as I could given my state of semi arousal.  She then took the key and put it in between her breasts.  A couple minutes after the initial shock of what she just had me do, I moved closer to her to tell her how hot it was for her to do what she just did and how I like it when she takes control.  She said something to the effect of, "I plan controlling you a lot more.  Since I can't have any control at work, I'm going to take much more control around here."  DAMN!!!  That is so hot to hear.

Now I recognize the control she wants may not always be up my alley.  I obviously have my large laundry list of kinks and desires, but what I really yearn for is to have control taken from me as much as possible.  There is something so hot to me about not being in control.  To have things taken from me.  To be forced to do things.  To beg.   To not be able to move.  To be humiliated.  Interrogated. Forced to endure pain.  Forced to do D/s related protocols. Being made angry and brought back from that. 

Even being locked in chastity.  I really dislike the device, but I LOVE that Mistress makes me wear it anyway.  I would love to know what runs through her mind when she thinks about me in chastity.

All of that being said, my head is spinning thinking of all the nasty things I want to endure and be forced to do.  My head spins even more thinking of Mistress getting wet and getting off doing bad things to me as well as seeing how far she is willing to take me.  So very hot.

I found this after posting the above paragraphs.  This ties in nicely with what I have written about doing what I am told regardless of how I feel.

Rule Number 1 is don't ever argue with your wife. Always do as told, do it with a smile.
And, don't ever, ever embarrass your wife in front of other people. That last sentence should be in capitals, but men do it every day.  It doesn't matter if it is your wife's friend, her mother, your mother, a sister or whoever; you are there to serve and obey. A lot of men don't get this. Yes, they are submissive, or think they are, but not in front of certain other people. 

The first thing that any man, boyfriend, or husband needs to learn is that You make the rules. There are situations that will test his commitment to femdom. If a wife really wants to become her man's mistress she should be willing to test him in difficult situations. Some men are up to challenges. Many are not. The fantasy of living in a female controlled world is one thing. The reality is often another. A man who has been tested and tried in difficult situations is much more reliable than one who has not. Testing and trying men in difficult situations enforces their commitment to you and to the relationship. 

Men have no idea how much courage it takes for a wife to step out of the role she has been raised for since childhood for. A simple act of talking back can destroy her confidence.

          

Update and thoughts on spankings / beatings

I've been away for a short while due to us having house guests, being super busy and life in general.

During this time there is very little kink or otherwise to report.  Mistress did have me in chastity for a 24 hour period.  It was particularly frustrating because with everything going on it lacked much of an erotic element.  In addition to being in chastity I was having general hard time sleeping.  That in turn made me angry.  I almost woke Mistress up and demanded she let me out. That likely wouldn't have gone over well, and I certainly would have lost any progress I have made in recent months regarding D/s in our relationship.  Eventually I went to sleep and when I woke up in the morning all was fine (in addition to me being aroused).  This is a perfect example of the need for me to suck it up when things aren't exactly as I want them.  I went from being a mad little bitch to eroticising the control I have given her and the control she has taken.  It also feeds into my darker fantasies for me to believe Mistress can and will push me past my comfort level, all the time knowing I will eventually thank her for pushing me.

Over the last couple of months I have been hinting about wanting/needing a good beating (even though I am sure it will suck.  A few times over the week, Mistress has mentioned that maybe I needed a beating to adjust my attitude. That got me thinking about the catharsis that comes with a beating.  So in my quest to find out what makes me tick I did some research.  Here are some things I found interesting.

What is the big attraction of a spanking for stress relief? This question has been hounding me.

When one is stressed out with money problems, job problems or lack of same I suppose after a while the big appeal is the thought of having one's brain completely occupied by something other than the constant worries of the day.

There can sometimes be the temporary relief by the proper administration of a sufficient dose of alcohol... But, that offers others issues too and just doesn't offer the more instant relief that comes from the firm and repeated application of the hand, strap, paddle  or cane to buttocks.

Some of The benefits:

• You are instantly reminded that someone knows and cares and will take action to remind they are there and will help.
• For a little while, it's absolutely impossible to think about anything else other than the spanking that is happening.
• The closeness recharges the relationship and offers a feeling of safety that you're not alone.
• Instantly changes attitude
• Reminds for hours or, properly for days

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But why? What separates spanking from other forms of discipline? It's not the most painful -- I'd rather take a serious spanking than a mouth soaping any day. It's not even the most embarrassing -- for a lot of us, bare-bottom corner time trumps spanking for embarrassment.

1. Spanking is physical contact with my partner. People generally don't want to hug someone when they're angry with them.  Spanking, however, is a very physically intimate act that doesn't require my partner to put aside his genuine feelings of anger to initiate

2. Spanking is mind-clearing. It's the only discipline that is intense and instant enough to clear my mind of its endless chatter about why I'm right and he's wrong and yadda yadda -- all the stuff that gets in the way of two people working things out in a loving way. 

3. Spanking is sexual. Women in DD relationships, me included, spend a lot of time denying the presence of a sexual component in disciplinary spanking, but don't believe it for a second.

4. Spanking is cathartic. For both parties.

5. Spanking is primal.  Spanking is the equivalent of the lead dog in a pack nipping another dog that's gotten out of line -- like sex, it pushes instinctual buttons and sends signals that resonate with the core of our inner being. And because spanking reaches deeper than our conscious thought or civilized behavior can go, it has the power to evoke profound change in our attitudes and behavior.

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I was going to do more research, but want to be productive so I will leave it this.  Like I said the last couple of weeks have been less than "sexy", but I wanted to run with the things Mistress has mentioned.  Note, I found this the next morning after posting this.

More on erotic humiliation

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Half of me

Yesterday I made the comment "Half of me wants her to make me put on my nighty was soon as we start getting ready in bed.  The other half wants to not wear it at all or at least be able to put it on before I sneak under the covers."  

Mistress made sure the half of me that wanted it was rewarded was rewarded and the other half was humiliated.  I don't have much time to post today but I wanted to make sure I recognized what she did to me and that those kinds of things turn me on even though they humiliate me.  I love it (and hate it too) when Mistress pushes my buttons.  In the end the "love it" part of me always wins.

Hot pics for the day.

Feminine Thoughts Today

This morning I woke up in a very feminine mood today.  I'm not sure why.  It likely has something to do with Mistress forcing me in a nighty every night, in addition to the ads I get in my email every day.  Waking up and walking into our bathroom while I am still in my nighty is a humiliating turn on. Half of me wants her to make me put on my nighty was soon as we start getting ready in bed.  The other half wants to not wear it at all or at least be able to put it on before I sneak under the covers.  Having to be all feminine with the lights on, brushing teeth, etc. would certainly be erotic humiliation.  Hmm.

I've also been thinking about lipstick and lip balm, nail polish, high heels, perfume, mascara, wearing panties every day.  I like that Mistress seems to like my feminine side.  She has encouraged it which makes it something I don't hide as much as I used to.

Here is an ad I got in my email.  I like how they are having fun dressed the way they are.  From the company Homme Mystere.   http://www.hommemystere.com/

Unfortunately it's getting cold here, so to wear some of those outfits make me want to crank the heat up.  Either that or wear these.

Lastly, I have grown a little accustomed to the nighty, especially ones without cups in them.  I think of having to wear something with a little more of a reminder to it. A couple of these also can fit breast forms.  I can't imagine how I'd sleep if I had to wear forms.

Tease and Denial Fantasy While Plugged

I sit here plugged more than 2 hours and working on my 3rd hour task.  This is my first post since Mistress released me from chastity.  It was by far the longest I had been locked.  Mistress was nice enough to release me for 30 minutes to use me for her orgasm (as well as giving me one) and mean enough to lock me back up.

She has since been adamant about me wearing a nighty every night which I find kind of hot.  Hot because she wants to see me in it, not hot because I am wearing it.

Since I am posting I wanted to add the fantasy that has been running through my mind since I've been released.  It has Mistress tying me down and teasing the hell out of me.  Getting me close (or not even close) to the edge of cumming.  I imagine her doing it for hours and taking frequent breaks or going as far as to tying me down while she watches her programs.  I'd be blindfolded and possibly have headphones in.  Either way, she wouldn't let me cum.  She would do it until I was a sweaty mess of a man with tears in my eyes.  She would interrogate me about fantasies.  She would put suggestive ideas in my mind.  She would tease me about making me dress up in public or other humiliating things. She would make me agree to do things she knows I don't want to do.  Essentially she would break and destroy me by working me over so bad.

Here are some inspirational images.

Impressed

This title is based on how impressed I am with Mistress.  I would have bet money that she would have felt bad for me and let me out of chastity last night or this morning.  Quite the opposite. She ignored that I was in chastity completely.  That's not to say she ignored me being her submissive.  This morning she called me out on not wearing a nighty last night.  I thought for sure that she was going to bring it up and when she didn't I half thought she was letting it slide since I was in chastity, but I also considered she forgot and I that was getting away with something.  I certainly wasn't going to bring it up.  This morning she twisted the screws a little bit more and had me put on a feminine workout outfit.  It does humiliate me to dress this way in front of her.  I tried to say my chastity device wouldn't work with it (which I truly believed) but she insisted I try and it did.  Well played Mistress!

I have now found another way to hate chastity.  Not because of the discomfort, but because of the wicked stuff that goes through my mind when I am in it.  It's a good thing I am not a Dom, because I can come up with some terribly creative things to do to someone wired like me (grammar check thought I should change wired to weird).  I am going to avoid rambling through some of my ideas I have this morning as I don't want them to come back and haunt me later.

That all being said, this morning I found this post that is in line with recent quotes from other blogs.  This one is from bossymsbecky and the pictures are in her post as well.

Disciplinary Wives

The idea of spanking and other forms of punishment in the female-led relationship is to administer it when it is needed - then make up and forget the whole incident. Men are accepting it because it presents a never-failing alternative to quarreling. They know in advance that if they make a mistake they will be disciplined for it. The affair will be adjusted quickly and beneficially - they will be punished, and then promptly forgiven. The incident cannot wind up in a dangerous quarrel. Bitter words will not be said. In this way, every disagreement is effectively closed before it has time to ferment into serious discord.

A spanking hurts, of course. It has to hurt to be effective. But the hurt is temporary and beneficial - it gives the husband just the lesson he needs - and when it is over, the trouble is over.

Is discipline really helpful? There can be no question of it as long as the spanking hurts enough and the humiliation is severe enough to convey a good lesson. It causes the husband to think twice before repeating the offense! A whipping is good because of the humiliation it causes. Having to stretch out obediently and get ready for the punishment does the husband good. Before the paddle is applied a single time - before a single stroke of the strap is delivered - the discipline starts being effective and beneficial for this very reason!

If the husband is to be disciplined, he is often directed to go to the bedroom and get ready for the punishment. Many men will at that point start to plead, something that should never distract the wife. In the bedroom he should undress - then stretch out full length on the bed, face-downwards. Some women will require him to put a pillow under his waist. He must wait in this position, until his wife enters the room - whether she comes in immediately or keeps him waiting.

Some women use a wooden paddle only. Others employ a strap. But many implements are available to them, like a slipper, a hairbrush, a ruler, a wooden spoon and various belts. In addition various whips and crops may be purchased or made. The great majority of women use a variety of implements. Many wives require that these be placed ready for use when the man takes his disciplining position.

Most important thing to remember is: never feel sorry for your husband. He was the one who got himself into trouble and he should be grateful his wife is willing to put the time and energy into disciplining him - and to forgive him afterwards.

Challenged

Yesterday morning Mistress unlocked me.  I was only unlocked for about 30 minutes.  Long enough for us to have sex, recover and clean up.  It took all I had to lock myself back up due to the drop of libido after orgasm.  I contemplated not locking myself back up, but knew that I would be indicating to Mistress that I wasn't serious about submitting.  For her to take my submission seriously I have to do everything she asks and everything I ask her to do to me.  I have asked her to be meaner to me and she is starting to do that.  I need to keep encouraging her to me mean to me.  Even though I didn't want to be locked up so soon after my orgasm, I realize that in the last week, there is only a few hours of me doing something I didn't want to do.  Trading a few hours or a day of doing something I don't want to do is well worth all of the other hours of living in my submissive and horny mind.

That being said, I have earned an additional day in chastity.  Apparently Mistress was going to unlock me tonight however, I forgot to do a very basic task and she has told me I "have earned another day in chastity."   After a week now, the device is a little tedious.  I would gladly let her release me.  So while I want out, I love that Mistress is going to punish me with an additional day in my device.  This is an example of the "mean-ness" I have been yearning for.

Before I started writing this post, my libido was around a 3 or 4.  After reliving everything and putting my thoughts down, I am at an 8.  Apparently being used, locked up and punished does something for me.  Thank you for being my Mistress and making me suffer!

Intrigued

I woke up early this morning.  Not because I was in chastity and a nighty, but because we went to bed relatively early and I can't shut off my mind.  The psychological part of chastity affects me way more than the physical part does.  I have now been marinating in Mistress' control for 122 hours. or 5 full days.

Yesterday Mistress and I had a lot going on. There was really no way for us to indulge in any play or intimacy.  We went to a friends house last night which made me much more aware of my situation than had we stayed home.  When we got home Mistress pulled out the key to my device.  She was going to let me out, so I could get some sleep and have sex this morning.  I asked her how that would look since I usually get up before her.  Apparently she didn't like that response so she put the key on her nightstand and didn't unlock me.  She made me put on my nighty and then told me she might not let me out at all and will just get herself off.  She said if she didn't do that, she would call me to our room when she woke up, she would have me fuck her and then she would lock me right back up. Now that I think back on it, she didn't say if I could cum, but after 5 days with no erotic stimulation I am sure I will be too sensitive to not cum.

The title of this blog post is "intrigued".  I'm intrigued to see where Mistress goes with this.  I so want to do anything and everything she tells me to, especially if it's something I don't want to do.  I am hers.

New Record!

I have now been locked in chastity for over 98 hours straight.  This is the longest I have been locked since at least 2007 or longer.  It's the longest my Mistress has ever had me locked up and the longest I have been locked continuously in my steel device.  I'm actually proud of it.  It almost didn't happen.

Last night Mistress and I went to happy hour.  On the way home from happy hour we picked up some dinner. When we got home we changed into some clothes to relax in for the rest of the evening.  Mistress started digging around in our bathroom.  Sensing she was looking for the key I asked her what she was looking for.  She said "the key, you want out don't you?"  I'm curious what the expression was on my face.  I asked her if she had read my blog post and she said she hadn't yet.  I told her that I would prefer she reads yesterday's blog post and then she could decide if she wanted me out.  It was time for dinner so she relented and we went back downstairs.  We had our dinner and watched a little TV, and Mistress fell asleep watching one of our shows.  Now Mistress works crazy long hours and really doesn;t get enough sleep as it is so I let her sleep until our normal bedtime. She had me put on my nighty, and we went to bed with me locked up.  I don't know if she remembered or not that I was still locked up, nor did I care.  I'd gone this far and wanted to set a new record.

I slept pretty well actually.  There was one period in the evening I woke up and had some naughty thoughts before falling back to sleep.  Being the masochist that I am I thought up creative ways to decide when I get released.

• Mistress decides when she decides.
• Mistress waits for me to ask and then decides
• Mistress waits for me to ask and then adds a certain amount of days
• Mistress has me roll 1-3 dice after I lock myself up.  The outcome would be 1-18 days
• Mistress has me flip a coin a certain number of times.  Each time it lands on heads is a day I am locked up.  Tails could be a plug.
• Lock me up on one day.  Then we wait until the next powerball drawing and the lowest number would be how many more days I would be locked up.  Over the last 2 months the lowest number was 1 and the highest was 28.  Average was 8.
• Have a bag with lots of blue marbles (say 30).  Then add a white marble for every chance I have of getting out that month (say 3).  Each night at bed time you make me reach into the bag and pull out a marble.  If I pull out a white, I get released.  If I pull out a blue I get another day of blue balls.

I'm sure there are many other ways but those were what came to mind in the middle of the night.

Lastly, I was thinking about how to pleasure Mistress while I stay locked.  Using my hands and fingers on her with lots and lots of lube. Teasing her until she tells me to put my fingers inside her.  Me waiting to put my fingers in her until she threatens to lock me up for a month.  Then I would pleasure her until she squirted over and over and was begging me to stop.  All the while, my cock would be locked up and safe.

All of that being said, I want Mistress to know I am doing well in chastity.  It's a different dynamic than I have ever had and I'm all for whatever she has in mind.  I might regret this, but I want to stay locked up until she has a use for my cock.  I'm not trying to be pushy I am just communication my feelings since I have spent 4 years saying how much I hate chastity.

I love you Mistress!    

Continued Thoughts

Last night Mistress indicated she might allow me out of chastity sometime today.  I was a little confused based on my post about her pushing me more, but since I have been known to be a pushy bottom I wanted to defer to her better judgment.  It turns out she hadn't yet read my post due to some email issues she was having.  Apparently my post was one of the best over.

So far I am still locked up, and as much as I hate to admit it I am happy that I am still locked.  Just admitting that in writing made me hard.  In the time we have been together, I don't know if I have ever been locked up at all on a weekend.  Being locked obviously changes our sexual dynamic.  To do anything directly with my cock would require it to be unlocked, so intercoure or masturbation are not possible without me being released.  That has made my mind drift into other possibilities.  Some of my thoughts/fantasies.

• Mistress keeping me locked all weekend but she keeps telling me she is going upstairs to get herself off.
• Mistress using the hitachi on herself while I am tied up.  She might also edge me with the hitachi while I'm still in the device or worse, force an orgasm while I am locked and keeping me locked afterward.
• Mistress fucking me in the ass while I am locked.  No cock stimulation.
• Mistress releasing me to fuck her and not letting me cum before she locks me back up.
• Mistress releasing me to fuck her and making me cum before she locks me back up.
• Mistress giving me a beating me while locked, but not stopping until sometime after I plead for her to stop
• A long teasing and denial session and locking me back up or letting me cum and locking me back up.  Both have pros and cons.
• Being locked in the cage or some other bondage while she goes to her nail appointment.

I ran into some other posts that I wanted to acknowledge from other blogs.

This first one makes me feel bad for the guy, but it also makes me wonder how my Mistress really feels.  I'd hate to think I was going through this just for my needs and wants.

Last night the chastity adventure seems to have come to an abrupt end.

After being locked up for a little over a week I just made an offhand comment to my wife I was so horny.  I even prefaced it by saying I wasn't asking to be released I just wanted her to know how I was feeling.  And off she goes to get the key and proceeds to give me an orgasm.  And of course I went along with it.  A little disappointed before, a lot disappointed afterward.  As many conversations as we’ve had about chastity over the last few years I can't fathom why it’s not in her to just push back a little bit. She does with everything else in our lives.  Seriously. Everything else. She is opinionated and demanding. She takes no shit from me or anyone else and gets her way 99% of the time. And I love that.  But it just doesn't seem to translate to chastity.  Just once I would have loved it if when I said I was horny- she would have said ‘good you're supposed to be’ or ‘too fucking bad because you're not even close to getting out yet’ or ‘shut up and rub my feet.’  But it never goes that way.  So we had a conversation.  And she told me she’s not really into the whole chastity thing. She just goes along with it because it’s something I like.  Hearing that killed me.  But explained a lot.  I've been thinking about it most of the night and decided if it’s not her thing then we shouldn't be doing it.  Because the way it’s been going is not my thing either.    If she had a burning desire to see me squirm under the effects of enforced chastity- to expand my limits- to push me out of my comfort zone?  I’d gladly wear the device for her until I was a whimpering mess.  But that, it seems, isn't in the cards.  

Now this next one is just plain hot.  Again it does seem like she is into the chastity as much if not more than him.

    

While it’s true I love teasing and tormenting my poor horny willing husband, and selfishly coming when he’s not allowed to… it’s also true that he’s my hero, and I would never let anyone talk trash about him. When in public, if the topic of sex comes up, I always talk up my husband, and how wonderful he is in the sack, which is true! His orgasm count is nobody’s business but ours, and If he’s willing to stand by me and sacrifice his orgasmic bliss to satisfy my teasing, denial and chastity fetish (and even better that he seems to love the tormenting too) why would I look such a wonderful gift horse in the mouth?  I love him, and love making him insane with unreleased pleasure. Yum!

I love my Mistress

Compassion

Last night Mistress asked if I had been plugged while in chastity.  I confirmed that I had. I asked why, and she said she planned on having me plugged today (which I currently am) and she wanted to make sure I wouldn't be too uncomfortable by getting hard and such.  Since the plug itself doesn't make me hard, it's not a problem.

While I appreciate Mistress' concern for my comfort and well being, I'm hoping I can convince her it's ok to be less compassionate.  For example, last night Mistress had me in a nighty and my chastity device.  Either one makes sleep a little more difficult and combined, they make it even more difficult.  At the same time, the difficulty of it all is a powerful reminder of her control and me being a willing slave.  Last night I woke up around midnight frustrated about my cock being locked and my nighty being tangled around me.  This morning I woke up incredibly horny, hard as a rock in my cage (it's not that uncomfortable) and as I write this I am getting all sub-spacey and hard again.

The frustration and the loss of control is the turn on, not the device or the nighty.  I hate to say it, but the turn on for me is being fucked with.  To imagine Mistress intentionally making me frustrated, uncomfortable, embarrassed, humiliated, challenged, dreading something, etc. turns me on like nothing else.  To see her do it with a glimmer in her eye, a smile on her face, all well knowing how it pushes my buttons, makes my head spin and makes me hard in my unforgiving device.

Without trying to be a pushy bottom I want Mistress to know it's OK to push harder.  It's ok to take something she is doing to me and going further.  I promise to communicate if I can't do something or if something was too hard.  I don't want her to fear being mean to me.

I found this on a blog from a Mistress that is pretty strict with her husband...

  The other thing to remember is the why of it all. Why should a wife make the effort to monitor her husband's activities, or punish him from time to time? It is not because we enjoy doing it. For most of us disciplining a man can be something of a burden. We do it because we love him. Being a mistress to a man is an act of love. For most of us there is no inner thrill that comes with being a mistress.
Most of us are not naturally dominant. For most of us becoming a mistress is something of a chore that must be learned. Once again, as women, we do these things because our man needs us to be there for him in a special way that only a few people can understand. What I do believe is that the world be a better place if more women rose to the occasion by becoming mistresses to their men.  

I love my Mistress!  

Trying to Ignore

Last night I slept in chastity.  Both yesterday and last night I have been trying to ignore the device. Trying to make it easier and to be less affected by it.  It's impossible.  There is just no way I can ignore having my cock locked, especially knowing I have made it impossible to escape.  Every time I sit to pee (a must), adjust myself, decide what to wear, workout, scratch, it's there.  Unyielding steel. While looking at pictures, my instinct is to touch a little or to get a full on edge, but it can't be done.  While wearing a collar signifies a certain amount of control, my collar is somewhat deniable.  This chastity device feels far more controlling even if no one can see it.  Besides having limbs restrained or being locked in a cage, I can't imagine a way to feel more controlled.  

So that made me very horny this morning when I was trying to avoid it.  I got a Fredericks email this morning.  7 pairs of panties for $28.  I was so horny I almost bought them.  I made a shopping cart and closed the window instead.  That's one thing that sucks about getting worked up like this.  It makes we want to buy frilly things, BDSM clothes, restraints and just about anything that I can pervert.

So back to my normal measurement.  Do I want out, absolutely.  Do I want to stay locked indefinitely, yes!  As much as I hate to admit it.  The brain loves the control more than it dislikes the device.

My naughty shopping list...

Hot Text in Pic

Locked up again

So I am in chastity for the 3rd time in less than a month. Apparently Mistress likes me locked up and as much as I want to say I don't like it, I do.  I like the helplessness and being controlled.  So much my cock just got very hard typing those last 2 lines.  

Since it appears I will be in chastity more often now, I added another page to the blog.  It will track the time I have been in chastity.  It's more of an FYI, but it will help me keep track of total days locked up as well as continuous days locked.  Maybe we will break some records :-)

In addition to the device.  Mistress told me I would be painting my toenails "girly pink" as well as clear polish on my finger nails.  She indicated she might add clear mascara as well, but didn't elaborate.

This morning I probably could have got away without locking myself up.  Mistress is wiped out from our trip and started her period so I am sure my cock is the last thing on her mind.  Unfortunately for me, when I first woke up this morning I remembered my instructions to lock myself up.  There was no way I was going back to sleep so I locked myself up (with the Prince Albert piercing lock) so I couldn't escape if I wanted to.  Just being locked up has my mind spinning a million miles an hour.  I want to be such a sissy little bitch today.

  Since Mistress is having her period, I can't imagine she has any use for my cock for some time, however here are some things I've been thinking about since I woke up.  A boy can hope, right?   I love my Mistress.

Teasing while watching TV

No need to unlock you to ruin your orgasm

There is no way I will push you over the edge

So close yet so far

 

Every great once in a while, Mistress needs to assert herself — and my need to have the reset button firmly pushed — overlap squarely.

Handcuffs, armbinder, ring gag, plug and no set amount of time locked in the crate. Not an erotic thing so much as a Total Power Exchange experience, for which it was ‘time.’

I remained that way far longer than was comfortable, which is to say until those buttons were firmly set for both of us.