Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Update and thoughts on spankings / beatings

I've been away for a short while due to us having house guests, being super busy and life in general.

During this time there is very little kink or otherwise to report.  Mistress did have me in chastity for a 24 hour period.  It was particularly frustrating because with everything going on it lacked much of an erotic element.  In addition to being in chastity I was having general hard time sleeping.  That in turn made me angry.  I almost woke Mistress up and demanded she let me out. That likely wouldn't have gone over well, and I certainly would have lost any progress I have made in recent months regarding D/s in our relationship.  Eventually I went to sleep and when I woke up in the morning all was fine (in addition to me being aroused).  This is a perfect example of the need for me to suck it up when things aren't exactly as I want them.  I went from being a mad little bitch to eroticising the control I have given her and the control she has taken.  It also feeds into my darker fantasies for me to believe Mistress can and will push me past my comfort level, all the time knowing I will eventually thank her for pushing me.

Over the last couple of months I have been hinting about wanting/needing a good beating (even though I am sure it will suck.  A few times over the week, Mistress has mentioned that maybe I needed a beating to adjust my attitude. That got me thinking about the catharsis that comes with a beating.  So in my quest to find out what makes me tick I did some research.  Here are some things I found interesting.

What is the big attraction of a spanking for stress relief? This question has been hounding me.

When one is stressed out with money problems, job problems or lack of same I suppose after a while the big appeal is the thought of having one's brain completely occupied by something other than the constant worries of the day.

There can sometimes be the temporary relief by the proper administration of a sufficient dose of alcohol... But, that offers others issues too and just doesn't offer the more instant relief that comes from the firm and repeated application of the hand, strap, paddle  or cane to buttocks.

Some of The benefits:
  • You are instantly reminded that someone knows and cares and will take action to remind they are there and will help.
  • For a little while, it's absolutely impossible to think about anything else other than the spanking that is happening.
  • The closeness recharges the relationship and offers a feeling of safety that you're not alone.
  • Instantly changes attitude
  • Reminds for hours or, properly for days

But why? What separates spanking from other forms of discipline? It's not the most painful -- I'd rather take a serious spanking than a mouth soaping any day. It's not even the most embarrassing -- for a lot of us, bare-bottom corner time trumps spanking for embarrassment.

1. Spanking is physical contact with my partner. People generally don't want to hug someone when they're angry with them.  Spanking, however, is a very physically intimate act that doesn't require my partner to put aside his genuine feelings of anger to initiate
2. Spanking is mind-clearing. It's the only discipline that is intense and instant enough to clear my mind of its endless chatter about why I'm right and he's wrong and yadda yadda -- all the stuff that gets in the way of two people working things out in a loving way. 
3. Spanking is sexual. Women in DD relationships, me included, spend a lot of time denying the presence of a sexual component in disciplinary spanking, but don't believe it for a second.
4. Spanking is cathartic. For both parties.
5. Spanking is primal.  Spanking is the equivalent of the lead dog in a pack nipping another dog that's gotten out of line -- like sex, it pushes instinctual buttons and sends signals that resonate with the core of our inner being. And because spanking reaches deeper than our conscious thought or civilized behavior can go, it has the power to evoke profound change in our attitudes and behavior.


I was going to do more research, but want to be productive so I will leave it this.  Like I said the last couple of weeks have been less than "sexy", but I wanted to run with the things Mistress has mentioned.  Note, I found this the next morning after posting this.

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