100th Post - Today's Edge

Today I edged to a blog I was reading.    It reminds me a lot of me/us.  http://hersubmissivepet.blogspot.com/ especially the 1st post.

Here are some of the paragraphs I read that made me have to stop stroking so I wouldn't cum.

My Weekend as a Maid

Mistress was visiting Her family last weekend so I was left behind to bring the apartment into a state of complete cleanliness. We have been traveling recently as well as were quite busy at work, so our place did look quite as neat and clean as I would have liked. It's not that it was dirty, it just wasn't perfect. Well the bathroom was pretty gross. And the kitchen quite a bit too. This was really bothering me because what kind of sissy maid can possibly live in a place like this.

That was all to change this weekend, however, as Mistress laid out the rules on Saturday morning before She left.

1. Wear panties every day. Before leaving, Mistress picked out three pairs of panties - black, white and pink for me to wear (She does this every morning). I decided to save the pink lacy ones to greet Mistress in on Monday.

2. Wear maid's uniform, including the (link to shoes) new maid shoes, except during times of heavy cleaning so as to avoid staining and damaging it. You can see my outfit laid out for me in the picture above.

3. No unauthorized touching or masturbating, except on both evenings I was going to be alone I was ordered to masturbate and bring myself to the edge and then stop.

4. Practice eye-makeup techniques on both days.

5. Wear the pink nightie from Victoria's Secret to bed every night.

Makeup & Make out

On the way from work today, Mistresses mentioned that She would "want to play tonight". This probably coincided with the fact that my brand new maid shoes were scheduled to arrive today, after we missed the delivery yesterday. However, when we got home Mistress said She wants to play dress-up. When we play dress-up, Mistress usually puts me in some nice skimpy clothes and heels and let's me go about my business in the apartment while She occasionally observes me and harasses me sexually. This time though, She wanted to put on some makeup as well.

Naturally I immediately got very excited but there was still laundry needed to be done and I also wanted to get my treadmill exercise out of the way so that we can both enjoy this evening and let it smoothly morph into a peaceful and restful night. After everything was finished I took a long shower, shaved my cock and balls as well as my face for Mistress who likes it smooth. I was then put into a burgundy corset and matching lacy boy-cut panties.

I got in immediate erection which lasted pretty much until we were done playing. But I am under a strict no-touching policy and Mistress was certainly in no mood to touch it either. I may have already mentioned that I am currently in orgasm denial training, slowly working my way up to being orgasm-free for at least a month (or longer) at a time. I am currently going for two weeks and seeing how my last release (and a spectacular one at that) was on Sunday night, I gave up all hopes of penis-related pleasure and started enjoying the sexual frustration.

Mistress ordered me to bring Her all Her make-up and spent the next half hour or so applying make-up on my face, while I was sitting in front of Her on the floor. She focused on my eyes - mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, even curling my eyelashes - in the end creating what I thought was a perfect eye-makeup. To complete the image, Mistress brought both wigs and tried them on, eventually choosing with the light brunette one. Then followed the necklace and clip-on earrings.When I saw myself in the mirror I was quite amazed, I barely recognized my face. Wow ... what a change. Mistress must have liked what She saw as well because out of the blue She suggested that at some point in the future, when I lose bit more weight and acquire a bit more feminine figure, we should go together on a trip to a place where we do not know anyone, She would then dress me up and we would go out together. I must stay this is an exciting prospect but nonetheless a big step for me and my ego . But I would definitely want to try this at some point. Mistress kindly offered to look for a dress for me, we would then print the picture of it and leave on the fridge door as a constant remainder of what I am struggling to achieve. So far She only found one dress - at Frederick's of Hollywood. It is the one in the picture to the right.

Well, at this point I was very horny and felt to be in need of some emotional fulfillment. I asked Mistress if She wouldn't mind me worshiping Her body for a while. She rarely turns down an opportunity like this, She likes is when I suggest cuddling or petting, although She naturally can say no as She is clearly in charge of this relationship. She took a quick shower and a few minutes later we were in bed - me still dressed up, with my wig and makeup on - gently kissing and caressing each others bodies. Stuff like this makes me quite hard which Mistress knows so She made sure to "accidentally" touch my cock through the panties every now and then. Eventually I proceeded to kiss Her neck, nibble on Her nipples before moving onto Her exquisite pussy and pleasuring Her with tongue.
I have done this many times before but I don't think I was ever dressed like this and I must say it was an entirely different experience. Sooooooexciting. After several minutes She had a beautiful orgasm and then we cuddled until She fell asleep on my arm. She is so beautiful! I almost fell asleep as well but at the last moment forced myself to get up to remove my makeup and to tidy up the apartment a bit. And to share my fresh experience with the readers of this blog of course!

Breath Play

This morning I woke up in my nighty and quickly got a hard on while contemplating that I have to wear a nighty all week.  I woke up a few times during the night and had to readjust my nighty.  It's very hard to not think nasty thoughts when you are a guy sleeping in a nighty at your Mistress' command.

While edging this morning I wanted to stray from my usual edging material and I fantasized about breath play. There is something so amazingly hot about the control you give someone when they are in control of your breathing.  There are also several ways to do breath play.  From the instant panic you can create by covering a mouth and nose on an exhale, to the long and torturous way of restricting the breathing so they can still get air, but it;s a lot of work to stay focused and breathe slow enough to not panic.  Add in some bondage and some pain and/or pleasure and you have created an endorphin rush that is hard to beat.

My favorite breath control is having a plastic bag placed over my head and secured with a large rubber band.  The bag is large enough to allow a lot of time before panic sets in, and the rubber band keeps it in place until Mistress opens the bag.  The rubber band allows the bag to be open and closed easily without having to be redone like I see when people tape the bag.  From there some teasing makes the experience even better.  As I lose oxygen I get all sub-spacy.  The more oxygen I lose, the less stimulation I need on my cock to keep me close to the edge.  To be taken to panic several times all while being stimulated is so good I cannot put it into words.  Knowing I can't remove the bag due to my hands being restrained is the ultimate power exchange in my mind.

Today's edge had me thinking of this as well as some things I haven't yet tried.  Here are some of the things I edged to.

• Being smothered by my Mistress' pussy while having my balls busted.  I would be fighting for every breath while I screamed into her pussy.  
• Being restrained in a bath tub and forced to keep my head below water to have my cock stroked.  When I come up for air on my own, my cock is ignored.  I can only imagine what would happen when I was ready to cum.
• Being beat while bagged.  The pain would either get worse or better depending on the oxygen level in the bag
• Vacuum bed breath play.  The vacuum bag is so tight, breath play is even scarier.
• Water boarding or at least trying to breathe through a wet towel.
• Super tight collar making every breath difficult.
• Noose Play or a belt around the neck.  I love the pictures of people having to decide between the cramp in their tippy toes or breathing.
• Cutting off blood to the brain vie the arteries in the neck.
• Being put into a stress position where breathing is one of the choices (last picture below)
• My mouth duct taped shut and and nose pinched or clamped over and over.
• Kissing while being bagged

*** Do not ever do breath play by yourself.  No one is there to help when you mess up and you will eventually mess up.

Still in a mood...

Last night Mistress tied me spread eagle on the bed.  Within no time I was the edge of cumming from her very magic hand.  She hit my balls several times and they were very full and sensitive.  She also hit the insides of my thighs lightly with some of her evil implements.  What surprised me was how fast I got into subspace.  My head was spinning and I was amazingly horny.  I would have done almost anything she told me to do at that point.  I so wanted to be a humiliated, tortured, and used.  I wanted her fluids all over me.  I wanted to be deep inside her and have her deep inside me.  I wanted to be violated.  She put my cum crusted panties on my face.  I wanted them to be forced in my mouth and tied there.  I wanted her to make me suck on them or lick them until all the cum was out of them.  I wanted her verbally taunt me and tell me what a nasty little cum sucker I was.  I wanted her to flood my mouth with her juices.

Mistress and I did discuss me wearing her collar again.  We discussed her having more control over me since we are now domestic partners.  She also told me I would be wearing a nighty to bed every night this week as well as panties on our vacation next week.   We also discussed me being in chastity for a prolonged period of time as punishment for losing my previous collar.  After Mistress used my cock to give herself a very wet orgasm, she decided to give me an orgasm, a ruined one.  Lucky for me I was able to enjoy about 60-70% of the orgasm before she pulled her hand away.  I don't think I will be that lucky for long as she perfects her technique.

This morning I woke up in my nighty and instantly got a hard on.  It's hard to not wake up in a submissive mood when you spend your night in a nighty or something D/s related.  The funny part is even with a somewhat ruined orgasm, I am still up for all of the things that were running in my head when she had me desperately on the edge.  My head has been spinning in that subspace way for most of the morning.  This morning I edged to the thought of her putting me in heels in our stockade and beating my ass until I safe-worded or beyond.   I also thought about her making me fuck myself in the ass while she masturbated.  I thought about her using my cock every day for her pleasure or to have me use her favorite glass dildo on her while I go without.  I thought about being shackled with the heavy iron leg and wrist shackles while she is at work, or being femme for 24 hours straight.  My last thought before I stopped edging was thinking about having my nipples abused badly by Mistress.

I love my Mistress very, very much.

Today's edge

Last night Mistress told me to keep Saturday PM open for time in the dungeon.  When she tells me in advance, it's like foreplay.  For 48 hours I have visions of sugar plums naughtiness running through my mind.

Since she has put me on notice about a scene, I am not going spoil things by going through the list of things I edged to this morning.  Needless to say I did edge and I look forward to not knowing what is in store for me.

Femme

This morning's edge had me edging to the thought of wearing feminine items.  I was thinking about my painted toenails which made me think of painted fingernails or even fake nails.  I thought about Miss Bossy Bitch enforcing a panties only policy again.  I imagined having to wear pantyhose or stockings and a bra or camisole for extended periods of time and she would make me send her pictures as proof.  I imagined having to wear black opaque stockings with no socks when I went to visit customers.  I would imagine they would know, but it's likely they wouldn't even notice.  I imagine MBB making me keep my little tuft of pubic hair in a feminine style.  I imagine being told to wear feminine deodorant as well as mascara. I imagine Mistress having me wear something Femme at night when she comes home from work.  I imagined having to wear women's shorts around the house and yard on the weekends.  The would be deniable from a distance, but not close up.

I imagined Mistress asking for my credit card and she would go online and buy things for me as a humiliating surprise.  Or she would make me buy things in person (I get butterflies just thinking about it).  For my last edge I imagined Mistress would make me post my Sophia pictures online with my face blurred.

I love my Mistress!

Ball Beating

Mistress made me cum on Sunday and although it was a full orgasm, I am on 10 again.  After shaving my body yesterday I painted my toenails.  I don't think Mistress would have made me as it's so close to summer barefoot weather.  I am in such a slutty mood right now, I wanted to have pretty pink toenails.

I saw the video below yesterday and couldn't get it out of my mind.  The best I can tell is the man is tied face down in the bed.  If he's not tied down, I don't know how on earth he isn't squirming more.  His balls are bound into a tight package without being too tight.  His cock is forced between is legs and is pointing toward his feet.  His Mistress starts out with the Hitachi on his cock head and then immediately starts hitting him in the balls with her riding crop.  While the hitting doesn't look too hard I know I would be twice as loud and squirmy as this guy.  Now the real evil thing is the Hitachi gets him off in about 90 seconds and she doesn't stop.  She continues to beat his balls and occasionally his cock for another 6 minutes.  Since he has just cum, there is no arousal helping him with the pain.  Everything is much more sensitive and not in a good way.  You can hear him choke a little on his own spit due to the pain.  Now while watching this, I have a raging hard on.  I would be edging to this right now if I had some privacy.  While it turns me on, I can also feel a knot in my stomach knowing just how much this would hurt and how much it would suck.  I am sure this guy would have some bruising on his balls.  That is so hot...

This is a perfect example of something that I would hate while it happened and then once I got over the shock and possibly anger, I would fantasize about it for the rest of my life.  The pure loss of control, the wanting it to stop and it not stopping makes my head spin in subspace.

Try this link here - http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=wFPXF-S564-

Mean thoughts

I don't know why it is, but I can't get the concept of wanting my Mistress to be meaner to me out of my mind.  Yesterday morning, I was imagining her using those crusty cum filled panties as a gag.  I imagined her locking me in chastity for more than a few days without releasing me for any reason.  I imagined her beating me until I safe-worded.  I imagined her humiliating me online or in front of a friend of hers.  I imagined being forced to wear a bra and pantyhose or the straight jacket to bed.  I imagined her shocking me with the Tazapper and the shocking dog collar.  I imagined having to tie myself to the bed with a blindfold and headphones before she comes home from work knowing I am going to suffer.  I imagined having to be dressed in women's clothes every day when she comes home from work.  I imagined her giving me chores that must be completed without fail, or else.  I imagined her doing things that would push my buttons and test my resolve to do as I am told.  I imagined she wanted to fuck with my mind...

In a mood

I am lying in bed in my nighty.  I have been awake since 5:30 thinking all sorts of naughty thoughts.  I will soon be masturbating into a pair of panties per my Mistress' instructions.  I realized that this is the first time in probably 6-7 years I knew in advance that I was going to cum. It's a little mind boggling since before I embraced the orgasm denial lifestyle, I came just about every day and on those days multiple times.

I wanted to write before I came as I know that as soon as I do my libido will drop and I wanted to get some of the things running through my mind written down as they are especially twisted today.  Mistress wanted to get some things done around the house and get a little alone time.  I can appreciate that as I get a good amount of alone time.  She works so hard that she has little time to herself.  That made me think of what she could do when we no longer have our 2nd home.  I imagined her telling me she needed another weekend to herself, but this time I would be locked in the dungeon for an entire weekend.  I would be locked in chains and chastity, but more or less free to roam, but I would be locked in the room.  I also imagined Mistress forcing Sophia (my feminine side) to find an online Master and do anything he made Sophia do.  I imagined  my Mistress beating me in front of her D/s curious friend. I imagined Mistress having Sophia drive her to the airport.  I imagined Mistress making me deposit a certain amount of money each paycheck into an account and she would use that to buy D/s or feminine things for her/us.  I imagined Mistress finding ways to test my submission, trying to get me to tell her no.  I imagined sunbathing in my bikini bottoms again this summer.  I imagined Mistress cumming all over my face time and again.  I imagined Mistress wearing a pair of panties each day and making me wear the same dirty pair the next day. I imagined Mistress tying me to the bed and torturing my balls like that girl in the video in yesterday's post. I imagined Mistress making me give her an orgasm every day with no orgasms for me.  I imagine Mistress keeping a bunch of toys out on the dresser to keep them in her mind and to make them easily accessible.  Ahh,  now it's time to cum.  I so don't want to do this...

Comments Please

I get a small handful of readers every day.  My Mistress reads this blog, so if you have any comments, ideas, etc to give her or myself, please feel free to do so.  We would appreciate it very much.

Being Forced

Last night when Miss Bossy and I were getting ready for bed, she told me she had intended for me to sleep in a nighty.  She knows I hadn't slept well, and she told me she wasn't going to make me wear one.  I don't recall saying anything back to her.  What I was saying to myself was this... "Should I tell her I want to wear one regardless of how well I have slept? Will she think I am being a pushy bottom if I ask her to do with me as SHE wishes?".  I chickened out and didn't say anything, plus I was somewhat relieved that I didn't have to wear one.  At the same time I wish she would have made me wear one.  The logical side of my brains would have wished she didn't, but the libido part of my brain would be doing back flips with excitement.  There would have been a small battle in my brain, but the libido wins 80% of the time.  I would have slept and been in constant knowledge of my place in our relationship.  I would have woken up with naughtier than usual thoughts in my mind.  I would have gotten out of bed slightly emasculated and humiliated in front of her.  That may sound bad, it it drills right through all of my mach bullshit straight to my heart.  While I hate not being able to sleep, there is so hot to have that reason be my Mistress.

That reminds me of a couple quotes I have seen over the years. "it's not submission if it's what the sub wants", or "it's not bondage until you want out".

There is something amazingly hot about doing something you don't want to do.  For example, Mistress and I will be apart this weekend.  She has instructed me to cum in a pair of panties tomorrow morning.  Now I have been doing teasing and denial for so long now, I actually dislike cumming on my own.  I love to be under her control when I cum and to not have a choice in the matter.  So tomorrow morning I will have to cum.  I will so not want to do it,  I will be cumming into a pair of panties, full well knowing those panties will be used in some future scene.  Is it something I want to do, no.  Does it make my head spin with desire knowing she is making me do something I don't want to, YES!  Do I want her to keep forcing me to do things I don't want to do?  YES!  Do I want her to push my boundaries, keep me on my toes, humiliate and hurt me, and not care what I think until after a few days after she has done it?  YES!

I have added a ton of pictures to my Tumblr account.  Apparently I am in quite the mood today.

Today I edged watching this video.  It's of a couple where the woman keeps hitting her man in the balls.  My Mistress loves this and I hate/like it.  I could totally see my Mistress doing this to me, but I have no clue how this guy takes it unrestrained and not gagged.

http://firesque.tumblr.com/post/39466982773/taoist4tease-color-amateur-cbt-12-minute-video

Nipple Torture

Almost 3 years ago I got my nipples pierced.  My plan was to be able to use the piercings for D/s games such as weights, feminine nipple jewelry, predicament bondage, etc.

The problem is my nipples never really healed.  They got overly sensitive to where any mild stimulation was overly painful.  In addition one of my piercings began to migrate, so about 6 weeks ago I removed them.  I used to have "innie" nipples, and the piercing has no made them "outties" which I prefer.

That brings me to this mornings edge.  I edged thinking about Mistress torturing my nipples.  I thought of being tied up and having her start with nipple suction to get the nipples engorged with blood.

After they were nicely filled with blood, Mistress would take one clover clamp and put it on one nipple.  She would then move it every 5 minutes to the other nipple to keep the pain going back and forth.  Worse than the clamp going on, is it coming off.  Far worse.  She would do this until I safe worded (or longer).

I can also imagine this device, with the screw being turned every few minutes to increase the tension or nipple being tied to the ceiling winch forcing my on my tip toes.

I also imagine being put in a very difficult predicament bondage position.  I treid to find me with the nipples in predicament but couldn't.  I imagine nipple clamps being tied to my ankle straps and just left to be.  The tension would be killer.

I can also see her using the wartenburg wheel on my nipples and also something like an emery board or sand paper.  I have read about Icy Hot being good for nipple torture (not to mention other body parts). 

I can imagine doing this so long my nipples would be chapped and they would be sore for a few days.  The device below is devious  It's got either sand paper or little spikes in it.  Used alone or after nipple torture it would be a constant reminder.

Lastly I imagine having to torture my own nipples while Mistress is out of town. She would warn me that there better be some sort of marks to prove I was sufficiently mean to myself or there would be hell to pay...

What an edge I had!

Time Apart

Soon my Mistress and I will be spending some time apart.  Today's edge had me thinking of when she will be out of town in a few weeks.  I imagined her teasing me for a couple days before she leaves and then an hour before we leave for the airport she would either make me cum or not let me cum, but either way she would lock me up in chastity.  I would drive her to the airport plugged or dressed a certain way.  During her trip she would have given me some assignments.  Either randomly via email or with notes hidden around the house.  I would be forced to take pictures of myself in compromising situations, run errands, use toys on myself, do web cam shows, etc.  If I failed at any task I would get a severe beating on my ass or balls or both.  I don't know why it is, but when we are apart I feel like jumping through nasty hoops for her.

Long Term Edging

This morning I woke up feeling a little nauseous.  When I feel this way I tend to try and go to my "happy place" which almost always is me thinking about my nastiest, dirtiest, most humiliating desires.  While lying in bed I had a couple ideas in my mind and then decided to pull out my iPad.  I was catching up on some Tumblr posts when I ran into this one.


It’s a common request for a girl like me to receive, a boy saying something like: “I want the longest tease and denial EVER” or “I wanna be kept on edge for HOURS.”

The problem being that boys, in the privacy of their homes, are free to email me while their cock is in their hands. Meanwhile, this clear-thinking, capable domme is reading your message, and realizing you need to be taught a once-in-a-lifetime LESSON.

Once my inescapable straps are locked, forcing your neck and wrists back awkwardly, trapping your immobile waist, so that it hurts to struggle, so you can’t even twist—you get your lesson. A full hour (no editing tricks—A FULL HOUR) of being edged, stupid boy. Hope you wanted what you thought you wanted.

An incredible, merciless clip. Be warned.




That in turn got me checking out her page.  She is pretty darn creative and devious.  My Mistress is a pretty damn good tease artist in her own right.  Keeping me on edge, not letting me cum.  She has even learned the art of a ruined orgasm.  Just thinking about being restrained and kept on the edge or hours make my head spin like I just took a shot of hard liquor.  It's amazing how much of a buzz I get from this kind of stuff.  It's also amazing the things I would agree to do when in that teased state of mind. It's a potentially dangerous place for me to go...

Some additional images from this site http://christinaqccp.tumblr.com/

Teasing and more teasing

This morning's edging had me thinking about relentless, evil, body convulsing mind bending teasing with no chance for orgasm.  Where I agree to do "anything", humiliating myself with words until I am in tears.  IT is at the same time unbearable and something I live for.  I don;t know how to explain it.  Here are some images that paint a picture of what I am talking about.

Hot Story

Here is the story I edged to this morning...


Anyways, back to my first vacation story.

That all happened before we left, and his suggestion of ass fucking moi is what got him into his first humiliating little predicament.

I told him that as punishment for that suggestion he would be first getting a paddling, and then a severe ass pounding from Adam (his biggest dildo, strapped onto me), every single day of our vacation (He usually gets it pretty hard on vacations anyway, but it was nice that he gave me an excuse!).

Full Story HERE - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/03/back-from-vacation.html

Sweet Spot

Here are the pictures I edged to this morning.  I sooooo wanted to cum this morning.  My mind was trying to convince me that I could cum with no consequences.  Gladly I did not listen.  I love the feeling I have right now. Being so horny and there is nothing I can do to relieve the desire to cum.  I am in the sweet spot of wanting to cum so very much and so not wanting to cum.

Awesome device

This is the picture I edged to this morning. I imagined MBB putting me in such a device and not letting me out for hours. She would make me service her front and back. Lick her toes. Feed me. Out make up on me. Force things into my mouth.  Mmmmmmm.

Dress Up

Last week MBB told me to wear something sexy on Thursday.  I chose a brown sweater dress and some panties.  I was out of my outfit by the time she got home which while a relief is also a let down.  To be dressed a certain way in front of her is certainly a form of erotic humiliation.  When MBB said for me to "wear something sexy" I debated on feminine sexy or masculine sexy.  I have a men's latex shirt and shorts that are sexy, but not what I thought she had in mind.  I chose feminine, and classy versus slutty.

Thinking about that is what I edged to this morning.  Thinking about not getting to choose what I am wearing is a mind fuck.  Especially now that all of our cameras are hooked back up to the internet, MBB can see me at my desk all day.  Of course my dirty mind had me take it to the next level  I imagined MBB telling me to pack every piece of male clothing I owned and put it in a locked suitcase or even a storage unit.  She would tell me my clothes would be returned to me one week later.  I could wear whatever I wanted or nothing at all for that matter.  What she didn't tell me that was anything I owned which was not overtly feminine had also been removed from the house.  All of that thinking got me to the edge very quickly several times that I never got beyond it and had to stop edging before I could elaborate on it.  My pic to go with this post is a crossdresser outfit I could imagine having to wear while I work at home.

Meaner

A few weeks ago I read a post that has had my mind going. It was a survey a blogger did as she was under the impression most submissive's wanted a "meaner" Mistress. Another reason that this stuck in my mind is that my Mistress (MBB) had recently mentioned how she would make a great pro-Domme because she could be so mean to clients they would come begging for more.

The Survey...

What Do You Mean By “Mean?” 

Harsher punishments 98 (53%)
More humiliating tasks 88 (48%)
Longer periods of denial 81 (44%)
More ruined orgasms 73 (39%)
Longer periods of chastity 70 (38%)
More chores to perform 41 (22%)
More stifled orgasms 32 (17%)

Votes so far: 183

Full article is here http://mistressivey.blogspot.com/2013/01/mean-poll-results.html?zx=ed0a1ed083d5df37

Add my Mistress' comments about being mean if she was a pro and that has kind of had my mind spinning.  What would she do to other guys?  How mean would she really be?  Does loving me make it hard for her to be "mean" to me?

So what is mean? To me, mean is what someone else looking in would think was mean. For me being in a D/s relationship it actually means the opposite. It means my Mistress cares enough about me to treat me in ways only she could. To push past my pre-conceived limits and take me to new places would probably seem "mean" to me even initially, but would actually be a huge wow afterward.  Even chastity which I hate so much has a place in the mean category.  I often fantasize about things that are gross, humiliating, painful, boring, etc.  When I fantasize about it, I imagine hating it, even getting pissed off, but to see MBB looking me in the eyes while she did it, as she pushed through my pissiness would be so fucking hot.  To be taken to anger, fear or embarrassment and brought back from it seems so amazing.  To have the strength to do that on her end would be a challenge as well.  It's tough to seriously fuck with someone you care about.

All of that being said, I have a raging hard on just writing about all of this.