Today I was going through my blog list and found a reblog. I started reading it, and it's clearly not my kind of story due to some limits I have, but for some reason it got me worked up. I managed to edge to it and quickly got there, but in my mind I couldn't be the submissive. Here is an excerpt with the fullink below it.
We pulled into his garage. She was dressed in a sexy schoolgirl outfit, with a lacy black and pink bra and teensy panties underneath. I’m not sure if the schoolgirl thing was a request from Andrew or anything, but she knows it’s a favorite of mine, so it might have been intended to drive me wild. I, on the other hand, was wearing only a wide ring gag, handcuffs behind my back, and a collar, with the leash attached to my seat belt.
http://my-life-in-denial.tumblr.com/post/68107446943/i-know-i-took-a-while-to-get-this-up-but-its
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Today's Edge - Maddening Tease
This morning Mistress left the house very early. That allowed me to edge while in bed. This morning I edged to the thought of being teased until I am in tears or bargaining away my pride.
I imagine Mistress telling me a couple days in advance how she is going make me wish I never taught her to tease me. The next day she reminds me I have one day until I will be begging if not crying.
The day of the tease (a Friday) Mistress tells me to get all of the things I need to do done by noon. At noon I get an email telling me to put on my restraints and to use the small locks to put them on me (she has the keys with her). I am also told to lock the posture collar around my neck. She also has me take an assortment of toys to our bedroom. The hitachi, cock pump, TENS unit, water based and silicone lube, condoms, clothespins, didlo gag, ring gag and various hitting implements. On her way home from work Mistress tells me to pop a hard on pill as well as another pill we have as she want my inhibitions lowered. She tells me to get naked and to restrain myself as much as possible in our bed with a blindfold on.
I hear her come home. She takes her time coming upstairs. I say hi to her, but she doesn't respond. She finally comes up to me and kisses me. She pulls back and tells me to open my mouth. She puts something in my mouth which I guess to be the dildo gag. She pulls it back out and tells me to keep my mouth open. She puts someting in my mouth and immediately the didlo gag goes back in. She informs me it's the crusty cum filled panties from months ago. She also informs me I will likely be tied to the bed for the next few hours. I can get untied any time I want just by not telling her if I am about to cum, but if I don't tell her every time I am about to cum and I actually do cum I will be locked into my chastity device for 30 days without release. That's plenty of motivation for me. Mistress then lubes up my cock and strokes me for a short while and then mounts me for her first orgasm. Once she has that she pulls off and stokes me to the edge. I mumble through gag that I am close. She stops and then proceeds to use the dildo gag on my face and the hitachi to give herself another orgasm. She also happens to squirt all over my face so the blindfold gets soaked and with the gag in my mouth all I can smell is her juices. Add this to the cum starting to come out of the panties in my mouth and I am feeling pretty debased. Debased and extremely horny. Mistress then takes a clothespin and puts it on one of my nipples. She informs me it will be switched back and forth between my nipples until she is done using me. She then uses something that feels like hair ties to attach the Hitachi to my cock and she puts it on a very low setting. She leaves the room. After some time Mistress comes back. She then uses the vacuum cock pump on me for about 5 minutes and then strokes me to the edge again. She moves the clothespin to the other nipple and edges me again. She tells me that I am getting close to the edge too quickly so she slows down her stroking to a medium pace. I really want her to go faster, but she just keeps it up. I don't even get close to the edge which is maddening. At least when I get close to the edge I can feel heightened pleasure., but this is just medium, and frustrating. She alternates between edging me and going slow and deliberate. She verbally humiliates me. She tells me she wants to hear me sucking the cum out of the panties in my mouth. She tells me how she is going to make me beg to stop her to stop teasing me. She teases me about the naughty clothes she is going to make me wear every night we are at home together.
Mistress then takes the gag out of my mouth. She asks me questions that she must have found online. They seem designed to be place suggestive in my mind as well and probing deep into my past. Due to my horny state and the inhibition lowering pill I took earlier, I answer her in ways that surprise even me. Mistress continues to stroke me until I am literally thrashing. She then rolls a condom on my cock and use the Hitachi on me. She reminds me what will happen if I don't alert her if I am about to cum. She keeps the hitachi on my cock and each time I tell her I am about to cum she shuts it off. Instead of her waiting long between edges I notice she is trying to stop just as I start to cum. She eventually succeeds in ruining my orgasm. I am so frustrated. She removes the blindfold off my eyes. As my eyes adjust, I watch her take a very cum filled condom off my cock and empty into a shot glass. She proceeds to tell me that is the first one. She tells me I can drink my cum willingly or she will ruin another one with the Hitachi again in about 20 minutes. I refuse, she blindfolds me again and she leaves the room. Sometime later Mistress comes back in the room. I feel her rub something moist on my lips which at first freaks me out, but then I realize its red wine as I can smell it. Mistress strokes my cock to get me hard again. She rolls a condom on my cock and turns the hitachi back on. She informs me that I will either be drinking my cum, or my cock will end up being swollen and in pain due her continuous ruined orgasms until I comply. She tells me it would be better to do it now before the shot glass gets any fuller. She then manages to produce another ruined orgasm, but as soon as my twitching is done she turns the hitachi back on to torture my sensitive cock. I am screaming and giggling and asks me if I am willing to drink cum to make it stop. I still refuse. She removes the blindfold and makes a big presentation of pouring my latest load into the shot glass. She blindfolds me again and leaves the room, but not before putting the hitachi on my cock on a low setting.
She comes back into the room. I tell her I am not going to drink cum. She says "we'll see". She touches my lips again with something wet. It's red wine again. She goes to kiss me and I kiss her back. She releases a small but of red wine into my mouth which I eagerly drink. She kisses me again and puts some more red wine in my mouth, but in a split second I realize it's not just red wine. She managed to get a whole bunch of cum in my mouth and now there was a thick piece of duct tape over my mouth. Mistress says "you don't have to drink it. You can just hold it in your mouth and enjoy the taste, but I am not taking that tape off for 20 minutes". I quickly realize what's best for me and swallow it down while it still has some red wine taste to it. Mistress then lays next to me and uses the hitachi on her self for a couple mind blowing orgagsms. She then takes the tape off and we chat things out before she unties me.
That is what I edged to this morning. On my last edge, I stopped stroking, waited about 10 seconds and I felt a spurt left my testicles. I fought to keep it in, and was surprised about how much came out 5 -10 seconds later. It was about a tablespoon. It certainly wasn't an orgasm as it took so long there was no spasms pushing it out after the initial push. I hate it when that happens, but it did tell me I did get right to the edge.
I imagine Mistress telling me a couple days in advance how she is going make me wish I never taught her to tease me. The next day she reminds me I have one day until I will be begging if not crying.
The day of the tease (a Friday) Mistress tells me to get all of the things I need to do done by noon. At noon I get an email telling me to put on my restraints and to use the small locks to put them on me (she has the keys with her). I am also told to lock the posture collar around my neck. She also has me take an assortment of toys to our bedroom. The hitachi, cock pump, TENS unit, water based and silicone lube, condoms, clothespins, didlo gag, ring gag and various hitting implements. On her way home from work Mistress tells me to pop a hard on pill as well as another pill we have as she want my inhibitions lowered. She tells me to get naked and to restrain myself as much as possible in our bed with a blindfold on.
I hear her come home. She takes her time coming upstairs. I say hi to her, but she doesn't respond. She finally comes up to me and kisses me. She pulls back and tells me to open my mouth. She puts something in my mouth which I guess to be the dildo gag. She pulls it back out and tells me to keep my mouth open. She puts someting in my mouth and immediately the didlo gag goes back in. She informs me it's the crusty cum filled panties from months ago. She also informs me I will likely be tied to the bed for the next few hours. I can get untied any time I want just by not telling her if I am about to cum, but if I don't tell her every time I am about to cum and I actually do cum I will be locked into my chastity device for 30 days without release. That's plenty of motivation for me. Mistress then lubes up my cock and strokes me for a short while and then mounts me for her first orgasm. Once she has that she pulls off and stokes me to the edge. I mumble through gag that I am close. She stops and then proceeds to use the dildo gag on my face and the hitachi to give herself another orgasm. She also happens to squirt all over my face so the blindfold gets soaked and with the gag in my mouth all I can smell is her juices. Add this to the cum starting to come out of the panties in my mouth and I am feeling pretty debased. Debased and extremely horny. Mistress then takes a clothespin and puts it on one of my nipples. She informs me it will be switched back and forth between my nipples until she is done using me. She then uses something that feels like hair ties to attach the Hitachi to my cock and she puts it on a very low setting. She leaves the room. After some time Mistress comes back. She then uses the vacuum cock pump on me for about 5 minutes and then strokes me to the edge again. She moves the clothespin to the other nipple and edges me again. She tells me that I am getting close to the edge too quickly so she slows down her stroking to a medium pace. I really want her to go faster, but she just keeps it up. I don't even get close to the edge which is maddening. At least when I get close to the edge I can feel heightened pleasure., but this is just medium, and frustrating. She alternates between edging me and going slow and deliberate. She verbally humiliates me. She tells me she wants to hear me sucking the cum out of the panties in my mouth. She tells me how she is going to make me beg to stop her to stop teasing me. She teases me about the naughty clothes she is going to make me wear every night we are at home together.
Mistress then takes the gag out of my mouth. She asks me questions that she must have found online. They seem designed to be place suggestive in my mind as well and probing deep into my past. Due to my horny state and the inhibition lowering pill I took earlier, I answer her in ways that surprise even me. Mistress continues to stroke me until I am literally thrashing. She then rolls a condom on my cock and use the Hitachi on me. She reminds me what will happen if I don't alert her if I am about to cum. She keeps the hitachi on my cock and each time I tell her I am about to cum she shuts it off. Instead of her waiting long between edges I notice she is trying to stop just as I start to cum. She eventually succeeds in ruining my orgasm. I am so frustrated. She removes the blindfold off my eyes. As my eyes adjust, I watch her take a very cum filled condom off my cock and empty into a shot glass. She proceeds to tell me that is the first one. She tells me I can drink my cum willingly or she will ruin another one with the Hitachi again in about 20 minutes. I refuse, she blindfolds me again and she leaves the room. Sometime later Mistress comes back in the room. I feel her rub something moist on my lips which at first freaks me out, but then I realize its red wine as I can smell it. Mistress strokes my cock to get me hard again. She rolls a condom on my cock and turns the hitachi back on. She informs me that I will either be drinking my cum, or my cock will end up being swollen and in pain due her continuous ruined orgasms until I comply. She tells me it would be better to do it now before the shot glass gets any fuller. She then manages to produce another ruined orgasm, but as soon as my twitching is done she turns the hitachi back on to torture my sensitive cock. I am screaming and giggling and asks me if I am willing to drink cum to make it stop. I still refuse. She removes the blindfold and makes a big presentation of pouring my latest load into the shot glass. She blindfolds me again and leaves the room, but not before putting the hitachi on my cock on a low setting.
She comes back into the room. I tell her I am not going to drink cum. She says "we'll see". She touches my lips again with something wet. It's red wine again. She goes to kiss me and I kiss her back. She releases a small but of red wine into my mouth which I eagerly drink. She kisses me again and puts some more red wine in my mouth, but in a split second I realize it's not just red wine. She managed to get a whole bunch of cum in my mouth and now there was a thick piece of duct tape over my mouth. Mistress says "you don't have to drink it. You can just hold it in your mouth and enjoy the taste, but I am not taking that tape off for 20 minutes". I quickly realize what's best for me and swallow it down while it still has some red wine taste to it. Mistress then lays next to me and uses the hitachi on her self for a couple mind blowing orgagsms. She then takes the tape off and we chat things out before she unties me.
That is what I edged to this morning. On my last edge, I stopped stroking, waited about 10 seconds and I felt a spurt left my testicles. I fought to keep it in, and was surprised about how much came out 5 -10 seconds later. It was about a tablespoon. It certainly wasn't an orgasm as it took so long there was no spasms pushing it out after the initial push. I hate it when that happens, but it did tell me I did get right to the edge.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Stuff
It's been a while since I have edged. A couple weeks ago I read a post on a blog and it was from a domme. Essentially it was about how some of her subs fantasies and her didn't align. It wasn't negative in any way. It was just that some of his fantasies (cuckolding mainly) was not one of hers. She would occasionally verbally indulge him in it, but in her post she proceeded to discuss her fantasies and how they meshed with his. That got me to thinking about my Mistress' fantasies. Which ones of mine don't work for her, but more importantly what fantasies does she have? Now I have had my fantasies since I was 11 years old, and have shared them with my partners for the last 25+ years. IT's just that now I feel like I am missing out on not knowing Mistress' fantasies better than I do. My fantasies feel very lopsided without hers.
On to another topic. Last week we listened to a podcast from the wonderful podcast called Masocast (masocast.com) In it a domme was talking about "breaking" a boy. It sounded pretty intense and something I want to do at some point with my Mistress. Something we will have to work up to if it's something she wants to do.
On to another topic. Last week we listened to a podcast from the wonderful podcast called Masocast (masocast.com) In it a domme was talking about "breaking" a boy. It sounded pretty intense and something I want to do at some point with my Mistress. Something we will have to work up to if it's something she wants to do.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Teasing
This morning's edge had me imagining being tied down to our bed. Mistress has the electric butt plug in my ass slowly (but strongly) fucking my ass. She tells me it's going to be a long night. She tells me her goal is to get as much cum out of me without giving me an orgasm. She starts climbing on top and putting my cock in her. She gives herself a couple of orgams now as she knows if she waits, she might accidentally give me one. After climbing off she give me slow strokes from her lubed hand. She ramps up the wear I start to strain and she stops. She does this 3 more times, and after the 3rd one, she notices ,y cock leaking in time to the strokes of the electric plug buried in my ass. Once my cock stops leaking she keeps up her teasing. About every 2-3 minutes she pushes me a little further, stops and watches cum dribble out of my cock. After some time less come is coming out, so she reaches for the hitachi. As she senses I am about to have an orgasm she stops and of course the plug milks my prostate some more. Eventually she can;t get any more out of me. I am begging for her to stop as I can;t take any more stimulation. She has a choice, stop or try to bring me to a dry painful orgasm. That is what got me going this morning!
Monday, November 4, 2013
Helpless
This morning I edged to the idea of true helplessness. A place where I have no control and no say. To wish and beg that what was happening would stop. To use my safeword and be ignored. Difficult, painful bondage. Being held in a position so long muscle fatigue sets in and the body starts shaking. Over stimulation. Pure sensory deprivation. Being gagged until the jaw hurts. A good beating. Wearing heels for an extended time or in a difficult position. Being shocked until I am nearly in tears. Being written on, marked, etc. Breath play until panic sets in. Caged. Chastity. Cum eating. Forced multiple orgams. Straight Jacket. Ball torture.
Electric torture.
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Being marked up
Electric torture.
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Being marked up
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Girl Spanking Girl
Today I edge to the following story http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/10/trainer-trained.html?zx=e88ece1fc81f892b
An excerpt.
"Well I don't think you've learned your lesson yet. You're liable to go right out and spend your and Brian's money without consulting him. Another hundred, harder than the last, will make you think twice about overspending!"
With that I threw my right leg over the backs of her thighs. I asked Brian to hand me her white and red polka-dot panties that were bundled in with her pants. I took the panties and stuffed them into her little mouth. "Oh Nooooooo" she said.
"Are you ok with this, Brian?" I asked him.
"Yeah, absolutely. Spank the brat." He said. Ha Ha! this would work out well!
"Do you hear that, Michelle? Brian thinks you're a brat and that you need this spanking."
She responded with a little plaintive "Ohhhhhh" through her panty gag.
I then started in on her second set of one hundred. I made these all harder and faster than the first, and went in groupings of twenty or so at a time, giving her only enough time to calm down a bit between the groupings. There was a lot of struggling under my leg and left arm, and almost animal-like grunts coming out of her mouth at the climax of each grouping of twenty. I got to the end of the second hundred, with Michelle bravely holding on right to the end. somewhere in there she had spat out the panty gag in order to hyperventilate. After the spanking, she lay across my knee, sobbing, sniffling, and vocalising little sounds like "uh uh uh uh uh".
I helped her up to her feet, which she did gingerly, and I guided her over to the wall, and made her stand facing it with her hands on her head. Without being asked, she stood up high on her tiptoes. I wondered if this was something a Dom had once made her do? She stood there very submissively, dark, dusky red bottom on display for Brian and I.
An excerpt.
"Well I don't think you've learned your lesson yet. You're liable to go right out and spend your and Brian's money without consulting him. Another hundred, harder than the last, will make you think twice about overspending!"
With that I threw my right leg over the backs of her thighs. I asked Brian to hand me her white and red polka-dot panties that were bundled in with her pants. I took the panties and stuffed them into her little mouth. "Oh Nooooooo" she said.
"Are you ok with this, Brian?" I asked him.
"Yeah, absolutely. Spank the brat." He said. Ha Ha! this would work out well!
"Do you hear that, Michelle? Brian thinks you're a brat and that you need this spanking."
She responded with a little plaintive "Ohhhhhh" through her panty gag.
I then started in on her second set of one hundred. I made these all harder and faster than the first, and went in groupings of twenty or so at a time, giving her only enough time to calm down a bit between the groupings. There was a lot of struggling under my leg and left arm, and almost animal-like grunts coming out of her mouth at the climax of each grouping of twenty. I got to the end of the second hundred, with Michelle bravely holding on right to the end. somewhere in there she had spat out the panty gag in order to hyperventilate. After the spanking, she lay across my knee, sobbing, sniffling, and vocalising little sounds like "uh uh uh uh uh".
I helped her up to her feet, which she did gingerly, and I guided her over to the wall, and made her stand facing it with her hands on her head. Without being asked, she stood up high on her tiptoes. I wondered if this was something a Dom had once made her do? She stood there very submissively, dark, dusky red bottom on display for Brian and I.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Femme Tuesday
This morning I got an email from Mistress that told me I was to wear femme clothes for my workout and to wear sexy (top and bottom) undergarments today. I got an instant hard-on when I got that email.
Normally I would have waited for Mistress to leave before putting on my workout clothes. As I am working hard to put my male resistance away, I decided today would be a good way to demonstrate that. I put on workout shorts, tank top, socks and a pull over - all femme in front of Mistress. It was humiliating, but necessary for me to start really allowing myself to submit without question. While writing this my head is swimming in subspace.
Last night Mistress went out after work. I took the time to organize my drawers so that I could have all of my femme clothes within easy reach for Mistress to pick out or for me when ordered.
I haven't edged in several days due to being busy, but couldn't help it today. I edged imagining this morning's order was more intrusive. I edged to the thought of Mistress adding in more and more feminization (and anything else she desires) into my life. Especially in front of her where the full psychological effect could take place. I allowed my thoughts to get away from me and almost had an unauthorized orgasm. I stopped it in time, but did have some leakage. Where I almost went to far was me thinking of Mistress telling me for X amount of days she didn't want to see me in any male items of clothing in the house. Of course I would have to wear male clothes out of the house for work, but I would be required to be in feminine clothes the rest of the time. The amazing part is those thoughts that pushed me so close to the edge only took a split second to get me there.
Some random pics that piqued my interest the last few days.
Normally I would have waited for Mistress to leave before putting on my workout clothes. As I am working hard to put my male resistance away, I decided today would be a good way to demonstrate that. I put on workout shorts, tank top, socks and a pull over - all femme in front of Mistress. It was humiliating, but necessary for me to start really allowing myself to submit without question. While writing this my head is swimming in subspace.
Last night Mistress went out after work. I took the time to organize my drawers so that I could have all of my femme clothes within easy reach for Mistress to pick out or for me when ordered.
I haven't edged in several days due to being busy, but couldn't help it today. I edged imagining this morning's order was more intrusive. I edged to the thought of Mistress adding in more and more feminization (and anything else she desires) into my life. Especially in front of her where the full psychological effect could take place. I allowed my thoughts to get away from me and almost had an unauthorized orgasm. I stopped it in time, but did have some leakage. Where I almost went to far was me thinking of Mistress telling me for X amount of days she didn't want to see me in any male items of clothing in the house. Of course I would have to wear male clothes out of the house for work, but I would be required to be in feminine clothes the rest of the time. The amazing part is those thoughts that pushed me so close to the edge only took a split second to get me there.
Some random pics that piqued my interest the last few days.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Change in mindset
Last night Mistress and I had, for lack of a better term, and argument. It was really nothing, but we argue so rarely now that it was a bigger deal than it should have been. We went to bed, maybe not angry, but frustrated. The old me would have rebelled against my standing orders, but with my change in mindset, I sucked it up and put on my nighty before bed. Wearing it all night and waking up in it made me feel like I have crossed another boundary. By putting aside my male pride and submitting to my Mistress (especially when I didn't want to) proved something to myself. I am proud I am becoming stronger in my submission, and feel that much better prepared to handle submitting or doing something I really don't want to do. It was a powerful thing for me to experience. We woke up this morning, and all is well, so I'm really happy I didn't rebel.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
No edge, but mind filled with stuff
I was looking for something to edge to and nothing tuck in my mind, so I decided to post a bunch of random pictures I have like that haven't had a place in my blog.
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| Love the toe rings |
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| For me control can be far better achieved using nothing more than the pressure of a fingertip. The power of touch can turn the most strong willed, calculated woman into a wanton, thrashing, cursing, begging mess. Having a woman’s total focus being consumed by nothing more than my touch, her total being down to her racing heartbeat and her panting breaths dictated by me, now that’s control. |
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Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Today's Edge - Switcheroo
As I have written many times is that I am not a good initiator of sex. I find that when I imagine initiating, I almost always end up imagining D/s with me in a dominant position. In my mind, I can't be turned down if I am the bossy one. Of course, real life isn't that way, but that is where my mind goes. Here are some stills of the videos I edged to this morning. I can get pretty worked up thinking about Dom'ing my Mistress (if she'd let me ever again).
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Monday, October 21, 2013
Today's edge
I edges for just a couple minutes this morning. I planned edge the full 10 minutes later, so my whole day was thinking about what I could egde to later. While I was working out the dungeon was 10 feet away. My mind kept drifting to thoughts of the dungeon. The only thing I could think of was a good long beating. My mind was drifting to the thought of a cathartic beating. One that would hurt like hell, but would release an enormous amount of endorphins. Then I thought about another way Mistress could hurt me without me being face down. I have recently been thinking of being tied up on the bed in my normal spread-eagle position. One difference this time is I would have tied my balls into a tight package. There would be a loop that Mistress could hook to one of the bondage straps at the bottom of the bed in the middle. She could then pull the tightening strap to anchor me to the bottom of the bed. This tight package of testicles could then be tortured with little effort. Having the balls tied up makes them much more sensitive as well keeping them immobile and under pressure. Instead of a hard slap, a small flick or tap would be 10-50 times more powerful. Consecutive light tapping quickly ramps up to excruciating pain, and since it is a light hit, damage is rare. There is also the benefit that if my bod is writhing and struggling, my balls would stay in just one place. Stupid libido.
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