Showing posts with label Electricity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Electricity. Show all posts

Saturday, August 4, 2018

Dressing up, edging and ball busting.

Yesterday after my post, I decided to do a bit of self feminization.  I put on a pair of black panties, black bra, my silicone inserts, a dress and a pair of heels.


It had been some time since I had worn heels so they hurt fairly soon.  Apparently I need to keep my feet conditioned for heels.  I worked for a few hours and then went to shave.  Before shaving I wanted to see if I could edge myself with the Hitachi with such a small chastity device on.  I could.  
I took turns running the Hitachi on the chastity device and on the prostate stimulator in my ass.  I think I could have milked myself if I had time.


I got ready and met up with Mistress.  I snuck off my device when she wasn't looking.  She's got a lot going on and I didn't want to bring any of this to her without her asking for it.

Mistress is occupied today as well, so I decided to do a bit of self-bondage.  I put on my humbler device on the front.  I also tied up my ankles, below my knees and above my knees.  I promised I was going to hit my balls 100 times with the thick plastic paddle or the thick strap.  My stroke #20 on my balls I could feel an orgasm starting.  I had to stop.  Holy cow.  I am so horny I could come from a ball busting.


You can see a bit of cum that leaked out.  I hungrily licked it up.  I hit my balls another 10 times and the same thing happened with a bit more leakage.  I decided to stop before I went over the edge.  

As I write this I have the shocking dog collar on my balls.  I edge myself and then give my balls a quick shock.  I stop doing this as I can feel the pain is going to push me over the edge.  My goodness  I am so horny.

Gotta Run!












Friday, December 15, 2017

Obsession and Distraction

Once in a while Mistress will make a comment that triggers something inside me that makes me obsess about it.  Not only do I obsess about it, it tends to take me to places I didn't intend on going.  Here is my latest obsession that drifted into something entirely different. 

A few days ago Mistress mentioned that I should watch my attitude, because being locked in the cage in a straitjacket with the shocking device locked on my balls doesn't sound like too much fun.  I replied something to the effect of "to you it might not sound fun".  Since then I have been obsessing about it.  Not so much about the cage, but about something similar.

My first real thought was me thinking of being put into the straight jacket I would lie in the center of one of our spare beds.  My feet would be tied so I would be forced to lie on my back.  I would be blindfolded with earplugs in my ears with white noise playing.  I would be left like this for hours.  Abandoned. 



Then of course, my mind kept going further down the path.  Instead of just being abandoned I imagined having the E-stim box hooked up to me with one set of wires going into a metal butt plug in my ass and bands around my cock.  Mistress would put the settings on the 'torment' function and leave me while my ass and genital are assaulted with electricity.




Then my mind shifted to back to being abandoned for long periods of time.  My mind went darker and realized that the need to go to the bathroom limits the amount of time a slave can be left alone.  It seems that for long term isolation bondage, diapers are frequently used.  Talk about a mind fuck.  Not only are you restricted from moving, but your can't see or hear.  Now your most basic body function is used in your punishment.  I can only imagine how long I would fight to not relieve my self in such a humiliating fashion.  One could be safely left for hours like this.  The inability to move would be excruciating, in a good sadistic way.  The mental anguish of not knowing the time, how long you will be left there and then having to relieve yourself is a very powerful reminder of the control you have given up.  


When I found the image above, I stumbled across another image that I assume only came up because of the diaper.  Apparently these onsies can be used with diapers for adult baby scenes.  These outfits are for people that have a 'little' fetish.  They are unisex and made for people of ALL sizes.  Now I am not into the adult baby fetish one bit, but these outfits do speak to my feminization and humiliation fetish.  I can imagine having to wear one around the house, to bed at night or in a scene of some sort.  The humiliation factor would be extremely high.  





So there you have a perfect example of how my brain works.  It obsesses, but it's also extremely diverse in what appeals to my submissive side.  


     

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Zap and some comments on breaking.

I have been extra difficult to deal with lately.  Mistress and I are starting to do some work together and we are butting heads.  I tend to get speak in a manner that sounds shirt and harsh.  It's certainly not my intention. Last night was one of these times where we got into a more heated back and forth and Mistress told me to put on my shocking collar.  I didn't say no, but I also didn't put it on.  She didn't press the issue, so I didn't put it on.  Had she insisted, I like to think that I would have obeyed, but she didn't so we didn't test that theory.  I was not ready to put it on just for the sake of getting shocked.  The horse had already left the barn so to speak.

That being said, I am working from home today.  I have put the shocking collar around my balls and locked it with a padlock.  I cannot remove it, and it's installed before we have any issues.  I can see me having to wear this whenever I am home, especially during working hours.  I have such a powerful fear of electricity that I am already aware of any potential tone issues I may have later today.







The other night a comment was left on this blog in response to my request for feedback from readers.  It was from a Mistress that mentioned that she would like to see me post as a broken slave.  I have been thinking of what it would look like for Mistress to break me.  While certain parts of it I can fantasize about, the other thoughts I have are reluctance as I know it would suck on many levels.  I tend to agree with her take however that if somehow Mistress was able to get me to the breaking point, I would likely be at a whole different level of submission.  The thought of enduring whatever Mistress decided to put me through, just to show my devotion as her slave is something that I find extremely hot.  That's definitely one of those 'be careful what you wish for' scenarios. 
 

Monday, December 11, 2017

Used and put away

Last night at bedtime Mistress decided she needed to have an orgasm.  She has me unlock myself and told me I would need to be locked up first thing this morning.  I advised her that may not be a good idea and that it would be best for me to be locked back up immediately after she was done using me.

Mistress just started her period and was a bit insecure about it.  I assured her that I am fine with that and it's easy to clean off if there is an issue.  It felt amazing to be inside Mistress again after more than 2 weeks.  She warned me not to cum.  I assured her I didn't have any intention of cumming.  I was able to hold off from cumming more than I thought I would be able to, but Mistress made it difficult.  She was pinching my nipples nice and hard, hard enough I can still feel it this morning and it makes my cock throb.  She also added some commentary that nearly pushed me over the edge a few times.  I am not sure of the order of her comments, but the few I remember are as follows.


  • This morning I was to put on the shocking dog collar around my balls.  The cage is a great deterrent, but it makes it so she can't use me.  With the shocking collar on my balls she can punish me and keep me close and useful.  


  • I was to start handling the dry cleaning as she no longer wants to do that particular chore.  She also told me that she would be delegating more and more things to me.  


  • She was considering not letting me sleep in our bed at some point in the future.  My head just spun writing that sentence.
  • She is considering having me move the cage into the living room.   
  • My life is about to get tougher. I assured her that is what I am asking for.  

As I kept getting closer to cumming, Mistress didn't want me to have an accident, so she had me use my fingers.  I can make her cum hard and fast using my fingers.  I was in heaven.  Pleasing my Mistress while my cock was being totally ignored.  Making her cum was my only priority, as it should be.

I was able to get her off a couple times and she let me put my cock inside her.  After a short while she told me to get off of her, clean up and lock myself back up.  It was perfect.  I wouldn't have changed a thing.

As I awoke this morning I realized how lucky I was to be locked up again.  Mistress got up before me and the temptation to touch myself would have been too much.  I know I would have tried to edge myself.  I wouldn't have tried to orgasm, as I love the amount of sexual chemicals running through my veins.  I fear that I wouldn't stop edging soon enough and I would have an accident that I would be to embarrassed and scared to admit to Mistress.  Being locked up gave me that extra bit of help I needed.

I love being owned and locked by my Mistress.



   


Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Jealous

Over the last few years I have acquired a good selection of BDSM videos that are on my hard drive.  A good number of them were from when I was a member of the Kink.com family of websites.  Now my preference is Femdom videos, but I also saved a good portion of Male Dom, Female to Female, and even some transexual and gay BDSM porn as Mistress sometimes likes to watch those types of videos.

I don't watch these videos often.  Maybe if I or we are traveling, and very rarely at home.  Yesterday was one of those rare days.  I have a Roku video streamer and there is a channel on it that is connected these videos so we can watch them on any of our large screen TV's.  Mistress stepped out to get her nails done and run a couple errands. I was working from home doing some tedious online class for work, so I decided to have some entertainment playing in the background waiting for the online class to progress.  I went into the "all videos" section and decided on the letter P, hoping to find some predicament bondage.

I first watched a couple girls Domme a guy.  It was a lot of boring spanking and ass fucking, so I fast forwarded through much of the video until they made him cum and then made him eat his cum.

Then I watched a very short one where a guy was tied up in a jail cell.  The woman came in and stroked him to orgasm and then kept on stroking until he was begging her to stop.


The next one was a guy locked in chastity.  The only stimulation he gets is his Mistress kneads his balls until he has an orgasm.  After he cums she makes him fuck himself in the ass with a dildo to show his obedience after an orgasm.  That's devious.  


The next one I stumbled across was called Point of No Return.  It's from the Kink.com's Device Bondage.  Now this one is Male Dom which doesn't do it for me as much as Femdom does.  However in this case it did an awful lot for me.  Mainly because of how jealous I was of what this woman had to endure.  Just to be clear, most of what this woman goes through rides a fine line of being too much.  In every scene there are tears, screams, yelling in frustration, hopelessness, fear, pain, humiliation, exposure, degradation and for her, many, many orgasms. 

The first scene is my favorite, mainly because this one would be the easiest for us to duplicate at home.  The scene starts with the woman fully dressed and bent over in a stockade type restraint.  We have one of these in the basement, not exact, but close enough.  She is in heels, a dress, and panties.  I imagine she has been left in this position for some time, to wear her down both physically and mentally.  In this position she is to high to kneel and too low to get any relief for her lower back.  I am certain the heels are adding to her discomfort.  And now I am jealous wishing I could trade places.    


Picture of the stockade in our basement.  
The Dom comes in the room and fondles her for a bit to show her how helpless she really is.  He whips her enough to get her dancing in pain.  He then removes her panties and keeps whipping her.  Not too hard, but certainly not too soft.  After a bit he uses scissors to cut her dress off of her leaving her completely exposed.  Next come the clover style nipple clamps.  But he is extra mean and uses 3 sets of them.  While I would absolutely hate 3 sets, I am again jealous.  


After the clamps are on, he takes a string and ties it from the center of one pair of the nipple clamps and then has her bend her knees.  He then ties the ends of the string to each of her knees.


He then whips her a bit trying to get her to straighten her legs and pull the clamps off.  She resists and keeps her knees bent, so he steps it up.  He grabs a cattle prod and walks behind her.  She can't see it but she can hear it charging.  He tells her to straighten her legs.  She starts crying saying she can't.  He keeps telling her to do it, and gets more and more scared and frustrated.  Since she won't do it herself he tells her she is going to get shocked.  He makes her choose a leg.  


By now, her left leg is shaking uncontrollably.  I am sure there is some fear about it, but mostly being in this position for so long and not being able to change leg position.  Now at this point I am starting to feel real empathy for her.  I hate electricity.  I hate the thought of electric shock.  Even something mild compared to a cattle prod would have me reacting the same way she is reacting.  Electricity is one thing that puts true fear in my heart.  As much as it scares me and I would fight it, I am again jealous of this poor girl.

She eventually picks the right leg and he shocks her hard.  She jumps and one of the clamps gets pulled off of her nipples. She is in agony.  He backs off a bit and lets her regain her composure.  Her legs are still shaking while he strokes her skin.  After a short bit he starts back up and tells her she still needs to straighten her legs.  He tells her if she doesn't, she will get the left leg with the cattle prod.  Of course she begs him not to and he ignores her request.  He zaps her and she pulls the other clamp off.  He immediately puts a Hitachi on her pussy and in no time she has rebounded from the pain and fear.  As he rubs the hitachi on her pussy he takes off and puts back on the clamps, creating a pleasure/pain battle.  She is begging to cum, her legs are shaking, and I am certain her mind is an absolute mess.  What an amazing predicament bondage scenario.  All of that and I am super jealous of her.  

The next scene has her tied like this.

  
He puts suction devices on her nipple, pussy and clit until they are filled with blood and sensitive.  He uses a cane on her body as she screams in pain with tears in her eyes.  Then he gives her the Hitachi treatment again.  She is drooling all over herself while begging to cum.  Eventually he puts a clothespin zipper on her, from her armpits to her toes, while the Hitachi is buzzing her.  He makes her choose decide if she wants the zipper pulled before or after she comes.  She wisely chooses before.  As much as I would hate the zipper, I am jealous of her.



The last scene starts like like this.


She is tied to Sybian vibrating saddle.  She has a corset on. Her arms are bound behind her in a leather arm binder.  She has a very tight posture collar on around her neck.  Her hair is tied to the ceiling keeping her upright and from falling off.  Her feet are tied up and back so that she cannot use her legs to escape from the vibration.  For the next 30+ minutes he vibrates her pussy and clit while alternately whipping her, torturing her nipples and using a plastic sheet to cut off her air supply.  

Through all of this, she has countless orgasms.  Since he doesn't turn off the saddle, she goes from one orgasm to being too sensitive and into another orgasm again and again.  Not being able to have multiple orgasms makes me even more jealous.  All of this was fairly boring to watch, I had to fast forward through a lot of it, but I am certain it was not boring to have to endure.  You can see the look on her face several times as though she is in another world or having an out of body experience.  In the post scene interview he said he stopped the scene because he didn't think she would or could.  Hot!  


I imagine the next day she hurt from dead to toe.  Her feet from her shoes and from being whipped.  Her legs from trying to endure so many strenuous positions.  Her back from being bent over.  Her nipples from being clamped and whipped.  Her pussy and clit from all of the orgasms and vibrations. I also bet every time she thinks of this event she will get very wet and aroused.

Having to endure even one of these scenes let alone 3 on top of each other seems very difficult.  I am extremely turned on imagining myself having to go through something similar and so intense.  Being pushed in such a way that I would seriously consider using my safe-word (during electricity) and either not using it or not being allowed to have one.  Riding the line between torture and ecstasy would be such a mind fuck.  My cock strains against my device just thinking about it.  That made me pretty jealous of this woman and many like her.  



  

Friday, September 8, 2017

Going to my happy place

When I am stressed, sick, or in some other distress, I have have a coping mechanism that I call 'going to my happy place'.  My happy place is anything D/s related that takes my mind off of what is stressing me our or making me feel sick.  Lately I have had a ton of work related stress.  I will wake up in the middle of the night and am unable to go back to sleep.  Sometimes I can lie awake for hours, stressing.  Last night I woke up and started to stress again.  I decided I wasn't going to let that happen so I tried going to my happy place.

I started thinking about my current state of being in chastity 24/7 for 10 days now.  Last night Mistress had stated we needed to make time for a torture session soon.  My mind drifted to recent blog posts about being meaner.  My random thoughts we not enough and my mind kept drifting back to work stresses.  I had to try something new.  I came up with a version of kinky 'counting sheep'.

I decided to go from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and think of all the things that could be done to my body in a D/s kind of way.  Here's how it went to the best of my ability to recall.  Some of this may be more extreme than expected due to my darker nature depending on stress levels.

Head - A wig. My full leather bondage hood, laced tightly and left on for hours.



Eyes - Blindfolds.  Eye makeup.  Clear mascara in public.



Ears - Clip on earrings worn around the house at all times.  White noise being pumped into my ears through headphones for sensory deprivation.  Clothespins on earlobes.

Nose - Forced smelling.  Mouth taped shut and nose clamped for breath play.  Nose hook for humiliation.



Mouth - Ball gag.  Penis gag.  Dildo Gag.  Ring gag, used to put things in my mouth like cum, spit, piss, lemon juice, etc.  Bar of ivory soap in mouth for being lippy or talking back.  Throat fucking.  Lipstick.  Clothespin on tongue.  Lot's of oral sex for Mistress.  Licking Mistress' asshole.  Being forced to lick my cum from a plate.


Face - Face slapping.  Full Makeup. Duct tape to gag mouth shut (with dirty panties in my mouth).

Neck - My wire collar. Locking leather collar.  Posture Collar.  Choking.  Feminine choker worn at home.  Rope around the neck.  Wrists tied to neck.  Women's necklace.    


Chest/Nipples - Pierced again.  Bra.  Silicone bra Inserts.  Nipple clamps.  Sand paper on nipples, rubbed raw. Icy hot on nipples.  Suction cups on nipples until bruised.  Needle play.  Clothespin zipper.


Arms/wrists/hands - locking cuffs worn at home.  Handcuffed as much as possible.  Feminine bracelet.  Nail polish.  Fake nails on weekends.  Feminine rings.  Shaved armpits.  

Torso - Shaved at all times. More suction cup bruises.  Wearing a corset a few hours every week.  Mistress takes me out with a tightly laced corset on under my clothes.  Rubber band bruises. Permanent marker with humiliating things written on me.  Tramp stamp on back.  

Yes, this is me.
Cock and Balls - Never ending chastity.  Forced orgasm while in chastity  Balls tied to ankles and feet tickled.  Icy hot or similar applied to cock and balls.  Urethral sounds.  Humbler with electricity.  Shocking dog collar on balls.  Hair plucking when I go too long without shaving.  Hot wax.   Acrylic ball crusher (edge me until I am about to cum and then tighten the screws).  Apply numbing cream and a condom before fucking Mistress so I can last longer.  It's amazing how much you can crush balls without damaging them.

Yes, this is me too.
Ass - A beating until I use my safeword (and then some more).  Icy hot on asshole.  Plugged more often.  Fucking machine for a long slow ass fucking (lube continuously applied to make it last until I am begging for it to stop.) Enemas.  Strap on.  Buy a suction cup dildo for self torture.  E-stim butt plug.  

Legs - Shaved at all times - Thigh high stockings. Rubber band bruises.  Being tied until legs start shaking.  More permanent marker.

Knees - kneeling in front of Mistress.  Must kneel at my computer when I am writing my blog or looking at porn.  Kneeling on rice.  Forced kneeling as punishment.



Feet - Nail polish at all times.  High heels worn at home.  Feminine toe rings.  Forced to stand on spiked mat.  Women's socks at work.  Grains of rice added to the inside of my heels or in socks at work.  Must come home with same number of grains of rice.  Caning or using a leather strap on the bottom of the feet (also known as bastinado).

 

Shortly after this mental excersize I was able to fall asleep.  It's funny how my twisted little brain works.







Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Harsh treatment adds fuel to my fire.

I am very worked up again today.  I just realized that the reason I am so worked up is due to the way Mistress treated me on Saturday.  It's the fact that my toenails are painted according to her specifications and not mine.  It's because I still have bruises in the insides of my thighs.  It's because the perfume I am wearing now reminds me of a pair of panties on my face.  It's because my groin muscles hurt from being tied spread eagle so tight.  If I was a normal guy I would not want to repeat Saturday, but because I am not normal, I not only want to repeat it, I want to endure even more.

Last night I woke up a few times.  I was imagining bad treatment.  I imagined the cage being moved into the spare bedroom so Mistress has easier access to lock me up.  I imagined Mistress setting out my underwear for the day - every day.  The underwear just so happens to be the dirty ones she wore the previous day.  I imagined Mistress making me start eating cum again.  I imagined wearing the shocking dog collar on my balls.  I imagined Mistress taking me back to the thrift store to add to my wardrobe as I will be wearing fewer and fewer men's clothes.  I imagined Mistress waking me up before she got out of bed this morning to go make her coffee.  I imagined true nipple torture.  I imagined more and more anal intrusions.  I imagined Mistress making me walk on the treadmill in heels.  I imagined Mistress making me kneel on rice or putting rice on the bottom of the cage.  I imagined Mistress and I using one toy a day from our large collection of D/s items.  It would be nice to find some new things Mistress could use to torment me and make my life harder.

      

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Coercion

NOTE: I have been writing this post over the last few days so it might jump around a bit...

coerce -[koh-urs]

verb (used with object), coerced, coercing.

1.  to compel by force, intimidation, or authority, especially without regard for individual desire or volition:

2.  to bring about through the use of force or other forms of compulsion:

3.  to dominate or control, especially by exploiting fear, anxiety, etc.:


My recent post on Mistress' fantasy of seeing me with a guy or transsexual got me thinking about how susceptible my submissive mind is.  While I have a long list of turn on's and things I like doing, I have a fairly short list of things of limits or things I just would rather not do.  Having to do things I would rather not do creates a dilemma for me.  I have to override my fight or flight response and just submissively submit.  This is where the real magic of D/s happens for me.  Having my limits pushed scares me but also excites the hell out of me.

I have been submissive for as long as I can remember.  I used to have a ton of limits, but as I have gotten older and more experienced, my limits have decreased considerably.  One thing that has helped me get through a lot of my limits is persistence of my dominant.  In my current relationship, Mistress has done a good job of sticking to a plan.  Also, using the dog cage in the basement has given her more control over me.

For example, me dressing in feminine attire.  In the past it was solely a sexual act for me.  If I was horny enough or it was part of a scene I was OK with dressing up.  Now I find myself being dressed nearly 24/7 at home and under my clothes when I go out.  There are many times that I would rather not dress, but being compelled to do so is what makes my submissive heart and mind so happy.  I have gone from masturbating while wearing an item of clothing, to dressing up and really caring about how I look.  I am very self aware of just how much control I have given up to Mistress and how much more I would love to give up.  In fact I am trying to think of requirements to add to my daily routine.

Chastity is the same way.  I really dislike being in chastity due to how uncomfortable it can be.  However with persistence and encouragement from my Mistress, I could see myself in chastity 24/7/365.  Plus the fact I can;t stop thinking about it, I am starting to believe wearing a device is more mental than physical.

So back to the topic of this post on coercion.  There are 2 limits I have that I think I could eventually get past.  Cross-dressing in public and some sort same sex sexual interaction.

The cross-dressing in public limit is the easier one for me as I can actually imagine it.  That being said, if I got all dressed up and we started heading for the door I think I would lose my cool and start being an asshole.  Mistress could threaten cage time but I would likely take that over public humiliation.

So as I fantasize about how this could be done I could see us enlisting a 3rd party such as a Pro-Domme as someone who is detached as well as supportive of the goal.  I imagine Mistress and I going to her dungeon (it would be better if I didn't know what was planned).  When we arrived I would be ordered to strip and I would be restrained.  Mistress would come up and place a shocking dog collar on my balls and lock it on.  She would then tell me it's set for the highest level and that I had better obey without question.  For good measure she hits the button and I scream in surprise and agony.



As I recover from the shock, I am released from my restraints and informed that I will be getting fully feminized and taken out to a bar.  Over the next hour I am dressed and made up.  They eventually show me a mirror and I don't even recognize myself.  Mistress then places the shocking remote in her purse and announces that we are heading out.

Due to the shocking device around my balls and the fact that I actually don't recognize myself I relent and we head to a bar.  When we arrive I get nervous, but Mistress shows me the remote and I press forward.  From here my fantasy gets fuzzy as I don't know what I want to happen or not.  However I do imagine some good mind fucks to occur.  Such as the Pro-Domme having pre-arranged for me to be hit on by guys or girls for that matter.  Me being made to dance or order drinks.  The humiliation would kill me.



That being said, that's a huge leap.  In reality I imagine I get dressed and we head out to try me walking in uncrowded places.  A parking lot at a strip mall or pumping gas at a gas station.  What isn't a leap is the shocking dog collar.  I would need something to push me through my fight or flight response.  Cage time wouldn't cut it.

                

As far as getting me to be with a man or transsexual in some way would require a pretty concerted effort.  I imagine Mistress being stricter with me regarding my dress.  Such as requiring a bra at all times or stockings and corsets much more frequently.  I imagine being tied to the bed or locked in the cage with transsexual porn playing for hours.  I imagine having audio hypnosis tracks pumped into my ears with headphones while my cock is teased for hours at a time.  She would keep edging me and make me tell her stories if I wanted any stimulation on my cock.  Mistress would make me find videos, pictures and stories of scenes she would want to recreate.  When we had sex Mistress would talk all about what she wanted me to do.  She would make me simulate oral and anal sex with very realistic fake cocks.  She would make me cum almost daily and consume every drop so I could get mentally used to the concept.  Eventually we would get to the point of me being tied down and a transsexual girl or a guy is brought into the room.  I would be teased until I was begging to have my cock sucked by this person.  I would be brought to orgasm with their mouth and this person would leave.  And like that, my first encounter would be over.



Just thinking about it disturbs me.  As I said earlier, I am not wired for this.  That's why I think conditioning would be a huge part of making it happen.  Hopefully Mistress would let us try this with a woman for my first threesome experience.  

While I can imagine getting a blowjob from someone of the same sex, I can't imagine giving one.  I barely like my own cock and cum after an orgasm, the thought of sucking a real cock does nothing for me other than make me a bit grossed out.

Like I've said before, I have few limits, but I have learned that it's fun to play in the soft/hard limit area.  Pushing boundaries is a huge part of a D/s lifestyle.  Hmmmmm.