Happily surprised and a little worried

Last night Mistress decided to tie me up and have some fun.  I found myself tied spreadeagled and blindfolded on the bed.  Immediately a couple swift smacks to the balls and then the Hitachi turned on under my balls.  I was in heaven.  Mistress undid each leg and slid 2 rubber bands designed for binders up each leg before tying me back down.  She then alternated between snapping the rubber bands and using a super skinny stick and a fat rubber stick on the inside of my thighs.  She has done this many times before, but this time was different.  I couldn't put my finger on it.  It hurt more than usual.  Frankly it sucked.  She would occasionally stroke my cock, but not with any real purpose so it didn't do much to alleviate the pain.  She said she was punishing me for recent transgressions.

It turns out there was a reason for the pain to be more than I was used to, more than just punishing me.  She had a plan.  After reading for the last 6 years that I felt she was too kind, and didn't push me to my limit, she was going to do just that.  She kept asking if I was enjoying it.  While I was enjoying the bondage and the cock stroking, the beating fucking sucked.  She kept asking me if I was ready to call red.  I really didn't want to.  I became annoyed and mad.  I was pissed off and irritated.  I didn't like it.  There was very little eroticism to the pain.  I kept begging her to stop without saying red.  I didn't realize it at the time, but now I see I was testing her to see if she would quit or pull back.  I'm happy to say she didn't.

After I called red, she released me.  I retreated a bit while I dealt with these new emotions.  To add insult to injury she told me to lock myself back up in chastity immediately.  Well played.

As I knew would happen, what I felt last night has gone away.  Writing about the above experience got me hard.  Not hard because I got a beating I didn't like, hard because I have a Mistress that is willing to push me as well as punish me.  Truly punish me.  That makes being in a D/s relationship much more real.  Last night I truly submitted.  I had no control other than "red".  This is what I have been asking for.

Moving forward, I love the idea of playing closer to my physical and mental limits.  There are some challenges however.  Last night I was in a fight or flight response.  Had I been untied I would have left the room or physically kept her from hitting me.  Since I was restrained I had to deal with it so I alternated between emotional fight and flight.  Dealing with me saying and acting like "i don't like this" will be a challenge for her.  Pushing through that attitude and making me deal with it will be hard, but also very rewarding.  I am excited at the prospect and a little scared.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and replayed the scene in my head.  Knowing that Mistress is willing to go until I beg her to stop had my mind running with other scenarios that push limits.  Below are somethings that could really test my limit and make we want to say "red".  It's also hot to think that "red" might be ignored.  I now believe Mistress has it in her.

• Painful or uncomfortable bondage
• Electricity 
• Public Humiliation
• Breath Play
• Chastity
• Teasing and Denial
• Nipple Play
• Cum Eating
• Corner Time
• Time Out
• Cage
• Piss Play
• Strap on or fucking machine
• Cross dressing
• Public feminization
• Oral Sex
• Dildo sucking
• Ball busting
• Butt Plugs - extended wear
• Scent Play
• Edging

I know we can't always play to my limits.  It's her choice of when we do that.  I just want to end this by saying I am so happy she can be mean and sadistic if she wants.  I just hope it turns her on to be that way sometimes.

Too Nice?

Last night Mistress and I had quick but hot sex.  As soon as we started she started talking about some things she has planned on an upcoming trip.  Clear nail polish for both my finger and toe nails.  Panties almost every day.  Teasing and denial while I am locked in chastity.  Mistress fucking my ass with a dildo.  The sex was quick, but much needed.

Mistress is very kind to me and as a macho male I appreciate it, however my submissive side is looking back on last night thinking she was too nice.  First off, I came a bunch.  Half of me is thankful Mistress didn't make me eat any of it.  The other half is wishing Mistress at least smeared cum all over my face if not making me use my tongue to clean up.  The other nice thing Mistress did was not make me lock myself back up in chastity right away.  In fact, she went to work and told me to lock myself up after my bike ride this morning.  While physically I was happy to be unlocked for sleep and my ride, my submissive mind yearned for a meaner version of Mistress that locked me up the second I came.  The mind fuck of instant lock up is insane.   I guess what I am saying is that as a submissive male, meaner = nicer.

To punish or not?

I have waited a few days to write this post as I wasn't sure how to approach it.  A few nights ago Mistress and I had a stupid fight right before bed.  I was so mad and frustrated that I went to sleep in a spare bedroom and purposely chose not to wear a nighty like I have been ordered to every night for weeks.  That's one of the hard things about real life in a D/s relationship.  I was so bent out of shape about our argument that I couldn't imagine being told to do something. Had I been locked in chastity I would have left the device on.  It's easier to keep doing it if I already started vs going to put something on when I'm mad.

So this is where the tough part comes in.  We both agree the fight was stupid.  Do we keep our system in place or do we go with a one time waiver due to the circumstances?  At first, I was thinking a waiver is appropriate.  The last couple days I have changed my mind on that.  Here's why.  Let's say my punishment is to spend a night in the cage.  I could try and argue that we should waive it due to the fight being stupid.  Ultimately, she doesn't have to give me a reason for making me do whatever she wants.  In fact, she could say, "I will waive the punishment, but I want you to sleep in the cage because it pleases me."  There would be no argument for that.  I have already agreed to those terms.

Another plus to a punishment (whatever it may be) is I may think twice the next time something like this happens.  Maybe not.  Either way, the dynamic would continue.

One one hand I am not wanting a punishment because it will suck.  On the other hand, I want a punishment to enforce the rules.  How can rules be enforced without consequences?  I wrote this simply to let Mistress know what has been going through my mind since Monday night.

Mainstream D/s?

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Professional Domme

Mistress and I have talked about spending some time Professional Domme at some point in the future.  Discussions have ranged from just me going to us both going.  I imagine us going together and me being domme'd by both, as well as us both being domme'd by a Mistress.  I also imagine Mistress sending me to one with me not having a clue what was going to happen.

We're still very much in a cautious discussion phase.  I had mentioned to her that I read a blog where the husband and wife have done this.  I was going to include some passages that I found hot, but I find that I can't do it any justice.  So here are the relevant links to her page from oldest to newest.

Professional Attention - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2012/02/professional-attention.html


Visit with a Pro: part 1 - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2012/03/visit-with-pro-part-1.html
Visit with a Pro: part 2 - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2012/03/visit-with-pro-part-2.html
Visit with a Pro: part 3 - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2012/03/visit-with-pro-part-3.html


Personal Trainer: third time lucky - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/06/personal-trainer-third-time-lucky.html
Update on Trainer - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/12/update-on-trainer.html


Husband Punished by Wife in front of Escort - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2015/12/husband-punished-by-wife-in-front-of.html


Playtime! - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2016/03/playtime.html
Playtime Happened: My Spanking - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2016/03/playtime-happened-my-spanking.html
Playtime Happened: His Spanking - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2016/03/playtime-happened-his-spanking.html

Orgasm and Chastity Update

Last night Mistress and I had a bit of sexy time.   I begged Mistress to not let me cum, but she told me if I didn't I would be sleeping in the cage. I didn't realize it had been so long, but I went 22 days without an orgasm.  Now the clock is back to zero :-(

Additionally I had been locked in chastity for over 7 days, and I must say, with my new device it was the easiest 7 days I have had in 16 years of experimenting with chastity.  Mistress let me stay unlocked overnight and had me lock back up this morning.  Finally a device I can wear indefinitely.

from Evotion Wearables

Is Harsh Possible?

Last month I read a blog post from one of my favorite bloggers http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/

Julie and her husband are into some pretty hard spanking scenarios.  In fact, she likes the term beating and I would agree that's what she does.  The post I am referencing is about some of her readers saying she was "overly sadistic".  Some readers seem to be horrified that she can be that mean and that her husband is somehow being abused.

To make sure that her husband was ok with things they had a discussion.  He assured her things were just perfect.  On his part, he likes to beg her to stop and to vocalize his discomfort, but recently held back because he felt her relent. To make sure they were on the same page they decided to test things out.  They went back to square one and started with a safeword again for a practice beating.  Julie starts beating her husband, and when he starts begging her to stop, she feels herself start to let up.  She remembers the agreement and she keeps going, harder now.  It turns out she can go much harder than she thought and that he is really ok with it.  He eventually uses his safeword, not because of the beating, but because she threatens to withhold his tongue from her pussy.  I wrote this purposely vague as I think she writes this scene much better than I can paraphrase, so here is the link to the post 

http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2016/06/sadistic-julie.html  (the comments are pretty hot too).

The reason this post has stuck in my head, is I too yearn for harsher treatment.  I think it's hard as the dominant one to hurt someone and not know if the hurt is good or bad.  My Mistress gets turned on when she hurts me, but I also think she holds back.  Now I'm not saying I can take super harsh treatment, but I do think it's worth exploring.  This harsh treatment doesn't have to just be spankings.  It can take other forms like caging, chastity, feminization, along with the dozens of other nasty things I blog about.  Any of them can be pushed to an extreme and become harsh, which gets me hard just thinking about it.

Hopefully this post isn't taken as a pushy bottom as much as a communication.

from http://couplespank.tumblr.com/

  

      

A different take on "ruined orgasms"

Here is the 2nd post I saw that intrigued the heck out of me.  The term "ruined orgasm" is always something I have taken to mean as less pleasurable.  I have posted in the past about how there is a good reason to use a ruined orgasms to keep the post orgasm let down to a minimum so that the male submissive is aroused sooner.  This woman takes the concept to the next level.  She uses ruined orgasms to immediately use her man.  Here is a good synopsis in her words.

Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to go limp and enter what doctors call the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated to have sex.

But that’s not all.  It also relaxes the urgent release channels, in his brain, temporarily raising his tolerance for sexual pleasure and increasing his stamina.  Simply put… a man who’s been ruined once or twice (or more!) in a single night can fuck you harder and longer than you ever thought possible.  He can fuck (or get fucked) continuously, relentlessly, at full intensity until you’ve had as many orgasms as you want and you’re both thoroughly exhausted.  Go ahead, get sweaty!  Let him wreck you!  Flip him and ride him to your heart’s content!  He will stay rock-hard the entire time, and he won’t cum!  Or, if he does cum, it will only be after a long, intense lovemaking session, far beyond his normal, natural physical capacity.  It’s fucking AWESOME!  Some of the best sex you will ever have!

I have experienced this myself a few times.  It usually when I am inside Mistress and I leak a bit.  The need to cum is reduced and I can then go forever.  It feels good (not as good as a full orgasm) and when I do eventually go over the top it's stronger.  It's hard to stop at just the right time.  The other time I experience it is when I am edging.  Sometimes I stop and 30 seconds later cum oozes out. I lick up my own cum because I haven't had a full orgasm and the horniness is still there.  If I went over the edge, I can't imagine freely eating my own cum.  I then stop as I don't trust myself to be able to stop like that again.  There is a huge benefit being tied up as Mistress can more effectively stop than I can.  I would define this as a minimized orgasm in order to have a fuller orgasm.  It's the closest a guy can be to multi-orgasmic.

There is much, much more to her technique which can be read here   http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com/post/145637171302/the-ruined-orgasm

Breaking him erotically

I ran across a Tumblr blog that had a couple really good posts.  The first one is about a Mistress breaking her slave, but instead of doing it with pain, she did it with weeks of teasing and denial.  To quote her "A month and a half ago, my amazing, sexy husband agreed to three months of constant tease and denial, without release.  Since then, almost every night, 7 nights a week (and sometimes in the morning, too!), we work together to make me cum as much as I want, then I edge him intensely, over and over again, to my heart’s content."   

The thought of being mercilessly tied, teased and denied for days and weeks on end turns me on and it also scares me.  I can only imagine the things I would be willing to do just for the chance to cum.  The idea of giving Mistress dozens if not hundreds of orgasms while at the same time I would get none is something that excites me greatly. As much as it disappoints me, there is something very powerful when Mistress tells me "no" when I ask to cum.

The entire post can be seen here http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com/post/144465521427/break-him-carefully-halfway-there-a-month-and-a

After I wrote that, I found another couple doing it http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com/post/142086842407/saw-you-post-and-note-about-three-months-of

Mind Altering

I had forgotten the effect chastity has on me.  Especially now that I have found a device I can wear with minimal discomfort.  Several times last night I woke up and when I did, my mind went straight to naughty thoughts. I had many ideas go through my head.  Some, I am sure were dreams and others were just thoughts that came to me, but I'm not sure which ones were which. Needless to say, my chaste brain is going a million miles an hour.

• My old device was bulky and somewhat uncomfortable.  It meant that many of the feminine items I have couldn't be worn while I was in chastity.  This new device has proven to be able to be worn with anything which makes feminization and chastity much more imaginable.  Also a tiny pink device is much more feminine than a polished piece of stainless steel.  My other device "looks" masculine.

• I dreamt of Mistress telling me she wants me to wear pantyhose when we are together as she wants to feel my sexy smooth legs more as well as seeing me in pantyhose and shorts around the house.  The humiliation would be awesome.

• I dreamt of wearing an anklet, feminine toe rings as well as frilly nail art

• High heels

• Being locked in chastity and forced to use a strapon to make love to Mistress.  So emasculating.

• While I have been wearing nighties, I have been thinking about other night wear, especially teddies.

• Teased in my device with no orgasm.  Forced orgasm and locked back up immediately.  Ruined orgasm and locked up immediately.

• Clean up duty.  I imagined having to wear a condom while having sex. Afterward Mistress would take the contents and pour them into my mouth.  She would then turn the condom inside out and make me lick it clean.  She would then put the condom in my mouth and tell me to keep it in my mouth until our room was cleaned and all the toys were put away.

• Electric torture

• Nipple torture / zipper

• The Cage - scares me, but turns me on too

That's all for now.  Suffice to say, I am a horny little mess that would do just about anything to prove it!

It's working!

So I have been in my new device for over 24 hours and it seems the sizing is correct.  I'll know more in the next couple days, but for now I'm very happy.  I woke up a couple time during the night with a hard on and the device was there doing its job.  I have grown somewhat accustomed to wearing a nighty every night.  I used to have naughty thoughts every time I'd wake up and realize I was in a nighty, but those have been greatly reduced due to the length of time Mistress has been forcing me to do it.   We have a stay over guest this weekend which prevents the nighty from being worn which is why Mistress has me locked up.  The device has certainly done the job of getting my mind ramped up.  Last night I had many dreams or half dreams about naughty things.  Some of the things I remember.

• Mistress telling me I would have to have painted toenails 365 days a year.  Due to the way my heels crack when I wear flip flops, wearing shoes and socks would be necessary.  Painted toenails would enforce the requirement.

• Mistress telling me that now that we have found a 24/7/365 chastity device, that my orgasms will be less frequent, however she intends on using my mouth and fingers much, much more.

• Mistress telling me that now that I have two different devices that work completely different, i should be able to be locked up 24/7/365.  If one starts to be uncomfortable or irritating, than I can wear the other one until that issue clears up.

• Mistress tells me that since I am locked up and wearing nail polish all the time, she wants to see me in more feminine attire especially when I am home. 

 In short (pun intended) being locked up and teased by Mistress makes my head spin in naughty directions.

Take 2

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Nipple Torture

I had no real intention of posting, but I saw a Tumblr post that had the following pics on it.  Additional comments after this photo set.

I love nipple play when I am restrained.  I love how the woman above puts on the clamps, twists them and takes them off.  I often fantasize about having my nipples tortured until I safeword and beyond.  Obviously putting clamps on and taking them off do wonders.  Fingernails, teeth, high heels, emery boards, hair clips, binder clips, tape, and pointy things and suction all do wonders as well.  I think of Mistress working my nipples over until they are irritated and red and the pain lingers for days.  I get hard just thinking about it.  

Clamps on the tongue suck

Clean up duty

The other night Mistress and I had some after work cocktails, a nice bath and some naughty time.  I was able to have Mistress let me tease and deny her with my fingers.  I would get her close to the edge of orgasm and stop.  It frustrated her, but I was able to convince her to let me do it a few more times.  In between edging her I also put my cock inside her and edged myself with her pussy.  When I thought she was ready, I went ahead and made her cum with my fingers.  She came harder than I expected which I attribute to the edging.  I gave her a few more orgasms and each one was wetter than the last.  She was cumming so hard I loved it.  Mistress had me put my cock inside her.  I was wanting to cum, but not quite there.  I asked Mistress to egg me on a bit and she started telling me how I was going to eat the cum out of her pussy once I came.  Now I hate doing it, but I went from half way ready to cum, to not being able to stop from cumming.  In no time I was asking permission to cum and it was granted.  I came hard, and Mistress didn't miss a beat, she told me to clean her out.  I was reluctant, but also didn't to see that would happen if I refused.  I also knew that the sooner I started, the easier it would be as I still hadn't had my post orgasm drop yet.  Had I waited the task would have been much harder.  I cleaned up what I could and proceeded to give Mistress one more super squirty orgasm.

The next morning, Mistress told me I could expect to do that every time I cum.  I kind of brushed it off, but at the same time it certainly is in my mind. I don't like it, but that makes me like it.  The loss of control on my part, and her taking more control is so hot to me.  Making me do things she knows I don't like is also super hot.  I think about what might happen if I decide I don't want to do it.  Is it a cage-able offense?  It is if she says it is.

This situation reminds me of something a read a while ago.  The Mistress made her slave cum into his hand and then roll 3 dice.  For each dot on the dice the sub had to wait 10 seconds before he could eat his cum.  A minimum 30 seconds and a terrible 3 minute wait for it to get all cold and his horniness to drop off.

So while I don't like my new task, I am very excited to see where it takes us...

Feminine orders

I am now at 3 weeks of wearing a nighty every night.  Yesterday I was ordered to wear panties and a camisole under my work clothes.  It's one thing to wear panties, but a whole other thing to wear anything on my upper half in public.  I picked out a shirt that is a little thicker and has a pattern to hide the obvious lines of the camisole.  I was very aware of the situation I was in all day long.  I found myself having to adjust the shoulder straps on my shoulder a few times during the day as they kept sliding down.  In short, my mind was in a very submissive feminine mood all day.  That mood carried over to today and while it messes with my mind it does so in a good way.  I particularly like it when Mistress taunts me a bit with femininity.  I this case I had to text her a picture while I was at work.  She then commented on the sexiness causing me to blush.  When we go to bed at night and she reminds me of my nighty and my place in our relationship, it goes straight to my brain.  There is nothing like some erotic humiliation to get me going.