This morning I am locked in chastity again. This time it's not a punishment. Friday night Mistress and I had a discussion about D/s. I mentioned how I actually enjoyed the mental aspect of chastity during my recent punishment. I told her how I liked the confidence she had shown by taking control of me and my cock. I implored her to push me harder and exert more control over me, so long as she was getting something out of it. She replied she was going to "destroy" me on Saturday, but we ended up having hot sex after getting out of the hot tub Friday night and our Saturday was pretty booked. She also told me that I was to go into chastity 1st thing Monday morning and she would plan an intense session for the end of the week. Sunday morning we had an early morning session of sex and had company coming over so any play was off the table. Even with recent orgasms, my mind was in overdrive both mornings this weekend.
This morning I was reluctant to put on the device. I had two orgasms in the last 36 hours so my libido was down. I didn't know if she remembered her chastity orders from Friday night due to us drinking a lot and sleepiness. That being said I want to keep doing what we are doing, so I sucked it up and put myself into chastity. I figured if she didn't mean it she would tell me so and if I had asked before going into chastity it would seem like I didn't want to submit. I am learning that true submission is doing something that you don't want to do. Now that I am locked up, my libido went from a 1 to a 5 and I am sure will be an 8 or 9 before the day is up. I'm going to regret saying this, but chastity appears to be an aphrodisiac regardless of the comfort level. Actually I am at an 8 now after looking for pics that show my mood today. While I certainly can be chaste on my own, right now there I would absolutely love to wrap my hand around my cock and get close to the edge. The mind fuck is reaching down there, my hand gets to feel something solid and my cock feels nothing.
Needless to say, I am very much looking forward to Mistress doing whatever she wants to me. I am in a very pliable state of mind. I love my Mistress.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Friday, September 19, 2014
Femme Thoughts
My mind is the victim of a perfect confluence of events. 13 days with no orgasm. 4+ days in chastity. Weather getting cooler. Mistress picking out my bedwear almost every night. I am thinking a lot of femme thoughts. I have noticed that the longer I am from my last orgasm the more my mind turns toward feminization. Thoughts about lacy panties bras and garters. Dressing feminine under my clothes, being dressed at home, painted toenails and fingernails. Perfume, high heels, toe rings, anklets. Mistress rubbing up on my female attired body and treating me like a girl slave, hmmmm. I also think about Mistress encouraging me to dress and be feminine when we are together, but also use it to humiliate me a little bit. While I still fantasize about bondage, the femme side is taking the lead right now.
I had a dream the other night about Mistress taking me to a one of those boudoir places. It was a short dream as I woke up in the middle, but I do remember being in a vintage panty, girdle, bra heels, makeup and a wig. Mistress was looking at me from behind the female photographer. I'm curious where that dream would have gone if I hadn't woken up.
Mistress had me paint my toenails in 2 different colors using the colors of our local football team. While I had hoped to be wearing flip flops until October, it's sexy of her to have me do it now (a little bit of that meanness I have been asking for). While it's something I want to hide, these 2 colors have some deniability if I were found out, so it's not quite the mindfuck as pink or red nail polish is. I am still happy she made me do it. I love my Mistress!
Today's mood.
I had a dream the other night about Mistress taking me to a one of those boudoir places. It was a short dream as I woke up in the middle, but I do remember being in a vintage panty, girdle, bra heels, makeup and a wig. Mistress was looking at me from behind the female photographer. I'm curious where that dream would have gone if I hadn't woken up.
Mistress had me paint my toenails in 2 different colors using the colors of our local football team. While I had hoped to be wearing flip flops until October, it's sexy of her to have me do it now (a little bit of that meanness I have been asking for). While it's something I want to hide, these 2 colors have some deniability if I were found out, so it's not quite the mindfuck as pink or red nail polish is. I am still happy she made me do it. I love my Mistress!
Today's mood.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Forced Orgasms
Below is something I found online. It's about women, but the same thing could be done to a man (without multiple orgasms)
Forced Orgasms. This game is best once you've gotten her to the point that the girl is no longer enjoying cuming. When her pussy is so sensitive that it has begun to hurt (men, imagine cuming and then someone continuing to work on the head of your cock without mercy).
She thinks she can’t possibly cum again. This is the point when she would take the vibrator off her clit, but of course she can’t. It’s bound tightly to her, and she can't squirm her way off it. It hurts. She begs. And then, it begins to feel good again. The orgasm builds and builds, and then she cums hard screaming. And immediately the pain returns. She begs. She pleads. She can't take anymore. She'll do anything. And then it once again begins to feel good through the pain, and the whole twisted process begins anew. But each time, the pain is a little greater and the orgasm a little.
Also, Mistress had me plugged for 2 hours today. It was challenging since I hadn't done it in a few weeks, but I got it done. I ran errands with it in and felt so slutty. Thank you Mistress!
Forced Orgasms. This game is best once you've gotten her to the point that the girl is no longer enjoying cuming. When her pussy is so sensitive that it has begun to hurt (men, imagine cuming and then someone continuing to work on the head of your cock without mercy).
She thinks she can’t possibly cum again. This is the point when she would take the vibrator off her clit, but of course she can’t. It’s bound tightly to her, and she can't squirm her way off it. It hurts. She begs. And then, it begins to feel good again. The orgasm builds and builds, and then she cums hard screaming. And immediately the pain returns. She begs. She pleads. She can't take anymore. She'll do anything. And then it once again begins to feel good through the pain, and the whole twisted process begins anew. But each time, the pain is a little greater and the orgasm a little.
Also, Mistress had me plugged for 2 hours today. It was challenging since I hadn't done it in a few weeks, but I got it done. I ran errands with it in and felt so slutty. Thank you Mistress!
Venus 2000 and Hitachi |
Hitachi and the squeeze method. |
Monday, September 15, 2014
Humiliation
Yesterday Mistress had a nail appointment. The night before she gave me a task. She told me that while she was at the salon I was to dress in a cheerleader outfit I have and send her pics. I really wasn't feeling the least bit sexy when I did it. I felt humiliated and silly. I still did it as I have no intention of failing at any of my assigned tasks. Now it's a day later and I am a little worked up about her having those pictures on her phone. While it's humiliating, it's hot. To think she could show a friend or text me with a picture of me when I least expect it gets me hot and bothered. I fantasize about Mistress telling me to put the cheerleader outfit on for certain football games or all day on Sunday. I also fantasize about Mistress making me do things during her 3 hour nail appointments. Chores, tasks, locked in a cage, more humiliations, etc. So while I didn't want to dress as a cheerleader yesterday, the fact that I had to makes it very, very hot. There are lots of things I think of Mistress making me do that I would not like at the time, but like this, it would become major fantasy material. Thank you Mistress!
With sleeves and sleeveless |
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Surprise!
Yesterday Mistress surprised me a little. She needed some alone time, so she hinted I should go out for happy hour without her. This isn't unusual so I didn't think much about it. I went upstairs to get ready and shortly after I got in the bath to shave my body I got a text from her that read "Before you leave, back into chastity you go...and bring me the key". I got an instant hard-on. Mistress hasn't been feeling well, and with me recently serving my chastity punishment I thought we would be done for at least a few days. I was pleasantly surprised she was in the mood to control me.
I went out and couldn't get my mind of of my situation. After a few beers I was pretty worked up. Mistress allows me to check out other women, and will frequently point out women to me. It's different checking out women while I am locked up vs when I am not. I would never cheat on MBB so I am not sure why it seems to different.
When I got home Mistress let me out. I thought there was a 50/50 chance of me staying locked up, so when she offered me the key I took it. I have a hunch I would have been locked up indefinitely had I come home too late. It's almost like Cinderella's glass slipper :-)
Just as we were getting into bed Mistress had me put on a pink camisole with white boy shorts. I told her I appreciated her being mean to me. She told me "you just wait and see". Another instant hard-on. I also told her that this last week in chastity has taught me something. Anyone reading this blog knows how much I hate chastity. I have come to realize I don't hate chastity, I hate the role it played in my previous relationship and I carried that into this relationship. My ex-wife would lock me up and frequently forget/ignore my situation. I would be having this 24/7 sexual battle raging in my mind and she wouldn't be a participant. Add not getting along and it was a mess. When I met MBB and she used chastity on me, we weren't living together yet. I would act like my chastity with MBB was the same as I did with my ex-wife. Now MBB and I have been living together for a few years. We get along with or without D/s. This week she took an small but active role in my chastity punishment, so I have realized chastity with MBB is much more enjoyable than I had ever experienced. I may regret writing that...
Changing subjects. I have told Mistress a few times how my kink can be somewhat controlling of me. I have mentioned how fortunate I am to have met MBB before I met the wrong person when I was single. The way I am wired I could be controlled and manipulated quite a bit with kink as the source. Had I met an unethical woman I could have likely been in bad situations. That being said, this same weakness of mine can be exploited for good. Mistress has already used it is some ways (no dishes in the sink when she comes home, dry cleaning, her nail appointments, no unauthorized orgasms). I mention this to remind Mistress that she has more power over me than she realizes. As she contemplates making sure her wants and needs are being fulfilled, I want her to know that she has much control over me as she wants. I want her to know her control is something I crave. I want her to have confidence that being meaner to me is not a bad thing, it's a good thing. I don't want her to worry about pushing my limits. This last week in chastity and how fulfilling it was will go into my brain as a very exciting.
Today's inspiration.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Released, but still under her spell.
After 4 full days and three full nights (about 85 hours) Mistress released my from my chastity punishment. So while my cock is free, my mind is still very much locked up. Of course chastity has something to do with it. There is no way to have 1 lb of steel locked tightly to your cock and not have it affect you. But for me, the reason I am still a hot mess is that Mistress took firm control of me. She locked me longer than she ever has (I was surprised she did it as long as she did). She acted as if she didn't care if I was challenged or not. She confirmed what I suspected, that if I bitched at all about it my punishment would have not ended yet (very hot by the way).
It's hard to explain, but while I was in physical distress, my mind was euphoric. While I was frustrated I was overjoyed. While I was locked, I felt a freedom. As much as I wanted out, I wanted to stay locked up much longer. Not because I like chastity, but because I loved the feeling of being owned and controlled.
More important than any of the above is that I hope my Mistress got something out of the last 4 days. I hope she got hot thinking about me being locked. I hope she got a rush of power by seeing me walk into the bathroom first thing with my device dangling in front of me. I hope she got wet thinking about how frustrated I must be. I hope she found something over the last 4 days that has her planning her next attack. I hope she will use my state of mind to fulfill her needs and wants as opposed to feeding my wants. I really do like serving her and I am so very pliable right now.
Instead of me spouting off about a bunch of fantasy stuff, I will end with this. I am a very fortunate man to have met someone that understands me so well and loves me enough to indulge me. I am so very much in love.
Today's inspiration found online...
It's hard to explain, but while I was in physical distress, my mind was euphoric. While I was frustrated I was overjoyed. While I was locked, I felt a freedom. As much as I wanted out, I wanted to stay locked up much longer. Not because I like chastity, but because I loved the feeling of being owned and controlled.
More important than any of the above is that I hope my Mistress got something out of the last 4 days. I hope she got hot thinking about me being locked. I hope she got a rush of power by seeing me walk into the bathroom first thing with my device dangling in front of me. I hope she got wet thinking about how frustrated I must be. I hope she found something over the last 4 days that has her planning her next attack. I hope she will use my state of mind to fulfill her needs and wants as opposed to feeding my wants. I really do like serving her and I am so very pliable right now.
Instead of me spouting off about a bunch of fantasy stuff, I will end with this. I am a very fortunate man to have met someone that understands me so well and loves me enough to indulge me. I am so very much in love.
Today's inspiration found online...
Training tip: Address his emotional needs and comfort him when he needs it. You are strict, but you do care… He won't be cumming anytime soon though. |
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Thursday, September 11, 2014
Settling In
I have now been in chastity a little over 72 hours. The first 2 days were a little challenging. Monday was ok. Tuesday I was in a little pain and felt raw. Yesterday was better and today even seems to be better. I slept better last night, but still woke up early. I got out of bed a little early today so that I wouldn't keep getting painful erections. Getting up kept my mind off of my cock much better than lying there. Mistress had me wear a nighty again last night and she gave me a quick tease with her fingers prior to going to sleep.
I went back through emails and blog posts. As best as I can tell this is the longest Mistress had kept me locked up since we met 4+ years ago and the longest I have been locked up in 5+ years. Being locked up has stages. When I was trying to figure out the stages, I was amazed how much they resemble the 5 stages of grief.
1. Denial - I can't believe I am locked up. I'll be out of it soon.
2. Anger - Man this this uncomfortable. This sucks.
3. Bargaining - If only I obeyed. Are you sure you want me to stay locked up? I promise I'll behave.
4. Depression - I'm sad I can't feel my cock when I really want to. Peeing in this thing is such a mess.
5. Acceptance - Everything is going to be ok. I'm locked. The pain and much of the discomfort is gone. I earned this. I deserve it. I want to make Mistress happy.
I am in the acceptance stage. I am super horny however and feel my ability to resist diminishing. My mind spins with naughty and nasty thoughts. I get all sub-spacy. My desire to please my Mistress is growing. My desire for Mistress to be mean and bitchy is increasing. I'm going to stop with all of that now.
Follow Up - My body getting used to the device and my mind is adjusting to it. On a scale of 1-10, my desire to be released is down to a 4. My desire to endure is still an 11.
I love my Mistress and want to please her with my ability to take what she dishes out.
Today's inspiration...
I went back through emails and blog posts. As best as I can tell this is the longest Mistress had kept me locked up since we met 4+ years ago and the longest I have been locked up in 5+ years. Being locked up has stages. When I was trying to figure out the stages, I was amazed how much they resemble the 5 stages of grief.
1. Denial - I can't believe I am locked up. I'll be out of it soon.
2. Anger - Man this this uncomfortable. This sucks.
3. Bargaining - If only I obeyed. Are you sure you want me to stay locked up? I promise I'll behave.
4. Depression - I'm sad I can't feel my cock when I really want to. Peeing in this thing is such a mess.
5. Acceptance - Everything is going to be ok. I'm locked. The pain and much of the discomfort is gone. I earned this. I deserve it. I want to make Mistress happy.
I am in the acceptance stage. I am super horny however and feel my ability to resist diminishing. My mind spins with naughty and nasty thoughts. I get all sub-spacy. My desire to please my Mistress is growing. My desire for Mistress to be mean and bitchy is increasing. I'm going to stop with all of that now.
Follow Up - My body getting used to the device and my mind is adjusting to it. On a scale of 1-10, my desire to be released is down to a 4. My desire to endure is still an 11.
I love my Mistress and want to please her with my ability to take what she dishes out.
Today's inspiration...
Soooo Close |
Scary |
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Hot Mess
I've only been locked in chastity for 48 hours, and I am a hot mess. There is simply no way to have this steel cage locked on my cock and balls and not be affected. My mind is bouncing between what I need to be doing, Mistress controlling me, my cock, and dark fantasies. There is no stopping it.
Now it would be easy to say the device is what is causing my horniness, but that's just a delivery method. What's really causing my horniness is Mistress's attitude. She is exhibiting a certain demeanor that I find exhilarating. She is acting a little aloof about my situation. She seems more determined to make a statement to me that she is done tolerating my insolence. While I know she cares, she is giving me a signal that she really doesn't care if I am in discomfort. Last night, in addition to making me sleep in chastity she also made me sleep in a nighty. Not wearing a nighty is what got me into this situation. The effect is dramatic on my mind. Genius Mistress! Genius! I am intoxicated with thoughts of Mistress asserting herself, demanding more of me and her being meaner to me. The real aphrodisiac isn't the chastity device, it's the loss of control I have of my situation.
Follow up. I am pretty much where I was yesterday. Do I want out? Yes, of course. At 4 this morning I was awoken by a painful hard-on due to me having to urinate. I was feeling my punishment despite all the sexy thoughts I have been having. After using the bathroom I was able to go back to sleep. At 4 AM I wanted out so bad. But now, on a scale of 1-10, I am still at a 6 in wanting to be released. Do I want to stay locked up and endure whatever comes my way? Absolutely, as long as necessary.
Mistress made a comment about maybe letting me out on Friday to clean up. I assured her that this device is hygienic and that I can clean myself with just a bit of effort. If she wants to let me out because she feels she has punished me enough, than that's cool. However, if she is feeling guilty or wants to show mercy or thinks I need a break, I want to endure. I want her to feel comfortable being meaner and have confidence in punishing me as she sees fit. I am reminded of the saying, "it's not real until you want it to stop". Of course my mindset might change in the next 48 hours, but I am determined to enthusiastically take my punishment.
I ran across the picture below. I like to think this is going through MBB's mind right now. Especially the words at the bottom. I love you Mistress!!!
Now it would be easy to say the device is what is causing my horniness, but that's just a delivery method. What's really causing my horniness is Mistress's attitude. She is exhibiting a certain demeanor that I find exhilarating. She is acting a little aloof about my situation. She seems more determined to make a statement to me that she is done tolerating my insolence. While I know she cares, she is giving me a signal that she really doesn't care if I am in discomfort. Last night, in addition to making me sleep in chastity she also made me sleep in a nighty. Not wearing a nighty is what got me into this situation. The effect is dramatic on my mind. Genius Mistress! Genius! I am intoxicated with thoughts of Mistress asserting herself, demanding more of me and her being meaner to me. The real aphrodisiac isn't the chastity device, it's the loss of control I have of my situation.
Follow up. I am pretty much where I was yesterday. Do I want out? Yes, of course. At 4 this morning I was awoken by a painful hard-on due to me having to urinate. I was feeling my punishment despite all the sexy thoughts I have been having. After using the bathroom I was able to go back to sleep. At 4 AM I wanted out so bad. But now, on a scale of 1-10, I am still at a 6 in wanting to be released. Do I want to stay locked up and endure whatever comes my way? Absolutely, as long as necessary.
Mistress made a comment about maybe letting me out on Friday to clean up. I assured her that this device is hygienic and that I can clean myself with just a bit of effort. If she wants to let me out because she feels she has punished me enough, than that's cool. However, if she is feeling guilty or wants to show mercy or thinks I need a break, I want to endure. I want her to feel comfortable being meaner and have confidence in punishing me as she sees fit. I am reminded of the saying, "it's not real until you want it to stop". Of course my mindset might change in the next 48 hours, but I am determined to enthusiastically take my punishment.
I ran across the picture below. I like to think this is going through MBB's mind right now. Especially the words at the bottom. I love you Mistress!!!
I am going to break you. |
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Feedback
Last night I slept in chastity for the first time in ages. I don't know the last time it was, but I believe it was over 3 years ago. I'm pretty sure I haven't had to sleep in it since we started living together. For the most part I slept well. I frequently turn in my sleep, and last night was no exception. When not in chastity, I have to adjust my cock and balls due to the way the lay when I turn over. Last night was unusual because every time I would adjust, I felt hard steel between my legs. Around 4 AM I started getting my normal morning erections. I can't say I slept well after 4 AM, but I wouldn't have changed a thing. Here's why...
Last night Mistress came home from work. Normally she lets me out when she gets home, but in this case I know the chastity is a punishment and not play. I didn't say anything as I want to make her proud for taking it as long as she wishes. A little later she asked how my day in chastity was, I told her it was ok. She asked if it was uncomfortable, I told her it was, but not unbearably so. That was it until bedtime. At bedtime she was cuddly, but avoided saying anything and didn't touch me. I was scared to have to sleep in chastity, but at the same time knew I might have to so I asked her if she meant for me to sleep locked up. She assured me she did and I got instantly rock hard. She also told me I would need to browse pictures I have posted on our blog for 15 minutes before getting out of bed in the morning. It took me a bit of time to fall asleep, more wondering what was in store for me than anything else.
From about 4 to 5:45 AM I tossed and turned. I appreciated the softness of a nighty versus my cock cage. I felt very owned and punished. The only thing I think would make me feel more owned would be sleeping restrained or caged. At least I could move my body. My cock got hard and then soft every few minutes, 30-40 times easily. My mind was going through many dark fantasies. I thought about what if Mistress asked how I slept, or if I wanted to be released. From 5:45 to about 6:15 I went through our blog. I started at the beginning, but there were not many pics early on, however I ran into some very hot posts from back then. Especially ones where Mistress used me well. Between the posts and the pics, all I wanted to do was stroke my cock. Not cum, but stroke. Not a chance and my hard-on was fairly uncomfortable.
As far as my planned responses if she had asked me how my night was it's this.
How did I sleep? I slept ok until morning but then the device made that difficult. It's not a real problem.
Do I want to be released? On a scale of 1-10, I am at a 6 in my desire to be released. To be fair, it's only been 72 hours since my last orgasm and 24 since I have been locked up.
How do I feel about being locked up? On a scale of 1-10, I am at an 11 in wanting to stay locked up. I have been asking Mistress to be meaner to me. I disobeyed her and then tried to make up a lame excuse for it. I was badly behaved in other ways. Having Mistress take more control of me is well worth having my cock locked up indefinitely. So long as she checks in with me and acknowledges my situation I will endure as long as she wishes.
Thank you Mistress for punishing me.
Last night Mistress came home from work. Normally she lets me out when she gets home, but in this case I know the chastity is a punishment and not play. I didn't say anything as I want to make her proud for taking it as long as she wishes. A little later she asked how my day in chastity was, I told her it was ok. She asked if it was uncomfortable, I told her it was, but not unbearably so. That was it until bedtime. At bedtime she was cuddly, but avoided saying anything and didn't touch me. I was scared to have to sleep in chastity, but at the same time knew I might have to so I asked her if she meant for me to sleep locked up. She assured me she did and I got instantly rock hard. She also told me I would need to browse pictures I have posted on our blog for 15 minutes before getting out of bed in the morning. It took me a bit of time to fall asleep, more wondering what was in store for me than anything else.
From about 4 to 5:45 AM I tossed and turned. I appreciated the softness of a nighty versus my cock cage. I felt very owned and punished. The only thing I think would make me feel more owned would be sleeping restrained or caged. At least I could move my body. My cock got hard and then soft every few minutes, 30-40 times easily. My mind was going through many dark fantasies. I thought about what if Mistress asked how I slept, or if I wanted to be released. From 5:45 to about 6:15 I went through our blog. I started at the beginning, but there were not many pics early on, however I ran into some very hot posts from back then. Especially ones where Mistress used me well. Between the posts and the pics, all I wanted to do was stroke my cock. Not cum, but stroke. Not a chance and my hard-on was fairly uncomfortable.
As far as my planned responses if she had asked me how my night was it's this.
How did I sleep? I slept ok until morning but then the device made that difficult. It's not a real problem.
Do I want to be released? On a scale of 1-10, I am at a 6 in my desire to be released. To be fair, it's only been 72 hours since my last orgasm and 24 since I have been locked up.
How do I feel about being locked up? On a scale of 1-10, I am at an 11 in wanting to stay locked up. I have been asking Mistress to be meaner to me. I disobeyed her and then tried to make up a lame excuse for it. I was badly behaved in other ways. Having Mistress take more control of me is well worth having my cock locked up indefinitely. So long as she checks in with me and acknowledges my situation I will endure as long as she wishes.
Thank you Mistress for punishing me.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Punishment
I sit here finding myself in chastity again. After a wonderful holiday abroad, it's time for me to pay for a couple of my sins. Mistress and I agreed that I would wear a nighty every night of our vacation. We were having such good amazing sex and I got to cum a lot, so that idea wasn't so hot any longer. A few of the nights I went to bed after Mistress and didn't feel it was necessary. After a few days she mentioned it and told me I needed to correct it. She also told me I would be punished when we returned home. She told me I would be in chastity as soon as out work week started again. I have no idea for how long or how chastity will be implemented, but will gratefully accept my sentence. She did mention she might get herself off multiple times while I had to lay there in bondage and observe and that I certainly would be very frustrated. As much as I don't want to be in chastity I am excited to have Mistress enforcing her will on me more forcefully. For the most part I do a good job of servicing her, but I also have my ego and insecurities that come up occasionally. While I think it's human nature to be compassionate about another's insecurities, I am wired differently. While I want to be understood, I also want to be encouraged (as well as forced). Encouraged to push myself to be more submissive, more feminine, more subservient to my Mistress' needs and desires, and to pay the price when I push back (consciously or not).
In addition to not wearing a nighty every night, I also stayed out too late one night and put myself in a bad position by drinking too much and getting lost on my way back to our room. I'm disappointed in my behavior and don't want to repeat it. I don't like disappointing Mistress because she trusts me more than anyone ever has. As best as I can tell Mistress has forgiven me although there might be additional punishment in store for me. If there is, I certainly deserve it, and I believe that I need it. I am not one to misbehave to get a punishment. It's too easy for Mistress to just withdraw from D/s and leave me wanting. Sometimes withdrawing from D/s is a valid way to deal with my behavioral issues. Other times I think D/s can be used to encourage or discourage certain behaviors, especially if they are unpleasant. I spent some time thinking punishments that I would not want repeated. A few of the ones I communicated with Mistress was a true spanking/beating as described here ( http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/03/beating-your-man-properly.html ). Handwriting a certain number of lines to enforce expectations. Spending time in a corner holding up a quarter with my nose.
The beating if done as described scares the bejesus out of me. Pain really does nothing for me, unless it's been sexualized. There is nothing in that beating description that seems sexual to me. I can imagine one night being out and remembering a beating like that and getting myself home. I would also like to think Mistress is capable of going to that extreme. Handwriting lines would be boring as fuck especially of made to do it in solitude but repeating the same phrase hundreds of times would be memorable when out and about. Corner time might even be worse because there is no task to take my mind off things. Time to reflect on my sins might also be effective.
All of that being said, we had an overall great vacation. We needed this time together. We had some amazing sex. We had a great deal of relaxation and I feel closer to her than before we left. I am so in love with her and I miss her as this is our first day apart in the last 10 days. I'm also excited to have Mistress taking her Head of Household role and encouraging my service and submissiveness. I want to make her happy in so many ways. I love you Mistress.
In addition to not wearing a nighty every night, I also stayed out too late one night and put myself in a bad position by drinking too much and getting lost on my way back to our room. I'm disappointed in my behavior and don't want to repeat it. I don't like disappointing Mistress because she trusts me more than anyone ever has. As best as I can tell Mistress has forgiven me although there might be additional punishment in store for me. If there is, I certainly deserve it, and I believe that I need it. I am not one to misbehave to get a punishment. It's too easy for Mistress to just withdraw from D/s and leave me wanting. Sometimes withdrawing from D/s is a valid way to deal with my behavioral issues. Other times I think D/s can be used to encourage or discourage certain behaviors, especially if they are unpleasant. I spent some time thinking punishments that I would not want repeated. A few of the ones I communicated with Mistress was a true spanking/beating as described here ( http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/03/beating-your-man-properly.html ). Handwriting a certain number of lines to enforce expectations. Spending time in a corner holding up a quarter with my nose.
The beating if done as described scares the bejesus out of me. Pain really does nothing for me, unless it's been sexualized. There is nothing in that beating description that seems sexual to me. I can imagine one night being out and remembering a beating like that and getting myself home. I would also like to think Mistress is capable of going to that extreme. Handwriting lines would be boring as fuck especially of made to do it in solitude but repeating the same phrase hundreds of times would be memorable when out and about. Corner time might even be worse because there is no task to take my mind off things. Time to reflect on my sins might also be effective.
All of that being said, we had an overall great vacation. We needed this time together. We had some amazing sex. We had a great deal of relaxation and I feel closer to her than before we left. I am so in love with her and I miss her as this is our first day apart in the last 10 days. I'm also excited to have Mistress taking her Head of Household role and encouraging my service and submissiveness. I want to make her happy in so many ways. I love you Mistress.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Cum Eating
For the longest time I have fantasized about eating my own cum. I don't know why. I think cum is disgusting. Even when I am at my horniest, cum just seems nasty. That being said, I still have a major fantasy about being forced to consume my own cum. Knowing how much I hate it I have had to develop specific fantasies to make sure it’s still workable. Here are some ideas that I will likely regret some day.
1. Cumming in or on something and then licking it up afterward. This one seems the hardest to me. After an orgasm I just don't have it in me to do it. The only way I can think of doing it assuming I wasn't tied up is with force or blackmail. The force part of it would have to be something like having the shocking dog collar locked on my balls. I would be shocked if I didn't eat my cum up willingly. The other is being threatened with being outed in some way.
2. Being tied down and forced. One way is for Mistress to fill her pussy up with my cum and sit on my face. We use lube so that’s not a good solution. I recently put a container of coconut oil in our toy drawer. Apparently it’s the latest and greatest lube. My only fear is our coconut oil is pleasantly flavored. Ideally she would sit on my face, au naturel. Knowing how my libido drops after an orgasm I imagine Mistress would need to grab my balls in her fist and threaten a squeeze if I didn’t comply.
3. Saved cum. This one is different as Mistress would have me save my cum up in a container we could keep frozen. At some point she would tie me to the bed and put this frozen cum in my mouth. The most devious plan I've heard was that a Mistress put the frozen cum in her slaves mouth and duct tapes it shut. She immediately gives him an orgasm, his libido drops through the floor, and the cum has barely started to thaw. In turn he is forced to endure the slow thaw of his cum, dripping down his throat until it’s all gone. In my mind I am debating between being blindfolded or not. Watching the cum cube drop in my mouth would be terrible, but not knowing what is coming until it’s too late is also a mind fuck.
4. Cum conditioning. I read a blog where the man was tied up and fed his cum every day for a couple weeks. After that amount of time he had no qualms about it and then cleaned it up every time no matter where it was.
Sources:
http://lazydomme.blogspot.com/2011/05/forced-cum-eating.html (the comments here are very interesting)
http://femdomforum.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-221.html
1. Cumming in or on something and then licking it up afterward. This one seems the hardest to me. After an orgasm I just don't have it in me to do it. The only way I can think of doing it assuming I wasn't tied up is with force or blackmail. The force part of it would have to be something like having the shocking dog collar locked on my balls. I would be shocked if I didn't eat my cum up willingly. The other is being threatened with being outed in some way.
2. Being tied down and forced. One way is for Mistress to fill her pussy up with my cum and sit on my face. We use lube so that’s not a good solution. I recently put a container of coconut oil in our toy drawer. Apparently it’s the latest and greatest lube. My only fear is our coconut oil is pleasantly flavored. Ideally she would sit on my face, au naturel. Knowing how my libido drops after an orgasm I imagine Mistress would need to grab my balls in her fist and threaten a squeeze if I didn’t comply.
3. Saved cum. This one is different as Mistress would have me save my cum up in a container we could keep frozen. At some point she would tie me to the bed and put this frozen cum in my mouth. The most devious plan I've heard was that a Mistress put the frozen cum in her slaves mouth and duct tapes it shut. She immediately gives him an orgasm, his libido drops through the floor, and the cum has barely started to thaw. In turn he is forced to endure the slow thaw of his cum, dripping down his throat until it’s all gone. In my mind I am debating between being blindfolded or not. Watching the cum cube drop in my mouth would be terrible, but not knowing what is coming until it’s too late is also a mind fuck.
4. Cum conditioning. I read a blog where the man was tied up and fed his cum every day for a couple weeks. After that amount of time he had no qualms about it and then cleaned it up every time no matter where it was.
Sources:
http://lazydomme.blogspot.com/2011/05/forced-cum-eating.html (the comments here are very interesting)
http://femdomforum.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-221.html
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Feeling Slutty
I wanted to write this while my testosterone is still at its morning high. I'm plugged with my largest plug, pantied, my fingernails are painted clear and my toenails are painted one shade pinker than clear. Last night Mistress surprised me by making me wear a nighty. After being in chastity all day and wearing the nighty last night, this morning's tasks have me hyper-sexualized right now.
I have to confess. As much as I dislike the physical discomfort of chastity, it's more than compensated by what it does to my brain. I am pretty much a helpless little slut right now even though I am not locked up. Replaying the last couple times in my brain and how I felt has me very amped up. I will probably regret what I just wrote, but I can't deny the effects of chastity.
I was so ramped up last night after being told to wear a nighty that I had a hard time going to sleep. I had so many naughty thoughts going through my mind, but most of them were not about my pleasure, they were about Mistress using my for her desires. I fantasized about her going out with a friend of hers to a swingers club with me locked in a cage at home.
Today's fantasy...
If I didn't have so much to do today I can imagine me sitting here in just a bra and panties. My nipples clamped, the dildo gag in my mouth, a posture collar around my neck, high heels on my feet, restraints locked on my ankles and wrists. I would be locked in chastity, and instead of a butt plug, Mistress would have me put a dildo on my ass. Mistress would text me telling me I had to stay like this until she texted me back. I wouldn't know if it was for how long. My jaw would ache, my nipples would be on fire. I would get a text, but it would be her saying she is watching me on cam. She would tell me to rise up and down on the doldo in my ass. She would taunt me about what a slut I have become. She would be saving pics to humiliate me with later.
A couple things that spoke to me this morning.
I have to confess. As much as I dislike the physical discomfort of chastity, it's more than compensated by what it does to my brain. I am pretty much a helpless little slut right now even though I am not locked up. Replaying the last couple times in my brain and how I felt has me very amped up. I will probably regret what I just wrote, but I can't deny the effects of chastity.
I was so ramped up last night after being told to wear a nighty that I had a hard time going to sleep. I had so many naughty thoughts going through my mind, but most of them were not about my pleasure, they were about Mistress using my for her desires. I fantasized about her going out with a friend of hers to a swingers club with me locked in a cage at home.
Today's fantasy...
If I didn't have so much to do today I can imagine me sitting here in just a bra and panties. My nipples clamped, the dildo gag in my mouth, a posture collar around my neck, high heels on my feet, restraints locked on my ankles and wrists. I would be locked in chastity, and instead of a butt plug, Mistress would have me put a dildo on my ass. Mistress would text me telling me I had to stay like this until she texted me back. I wouldn't know if it was for how long. My jaw would ache, my nipples would be on fire. I would get a text, but it would be her saying she is watching me on cam. She would tell me to rise up and down on the doldo in my ass. She would taunt me about what a slut I have become. She would be saving pics to humiliate me with later.
A couple things that spoke to me this morning.
Confession: this is on my wish list. |
Shocking dog collar |
Very Hot |
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Thank you Mistress
Thank you Mistress for locking up my cock today. I truly wish it wasn't locked up, but at the same time I have a little sub-space buzz because you locked me up. All day long I will be thinking of my cock being out of reach and that in turn will make my brain go into kinky overdrive.
I can't emphasize enough how you locking me up, full well knowing I really dislike it, makes me so horny and submissive. My mind is racing with the idea of you being meaner to me (even with chastity). Taking my submissiveness and using it against me. Making me do things I would hate, but knowing it would be a huge turn on for me after I endured it. Using the things I have done in a submissive mindset to humiliate me further. Getting inside my head. Having you use me for your pleasure without worrying about my pleasure. Making me beg for a break from it all. I could go on and on with thoughts, but would rather leave this post as a thank you than a wish list. I love you and I love when you control me.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Today's Edge - Vacation Naughtiness
This morning I was able to hang out in bed for a bit after Mistress left. I didn't sleep well and that always gets my mind running in a submissive way. We will be going on vacation soon and when I was edging myself this morning I thought about potential vacation naughtiness. Here are some of the thoughts I came up with.
Having my finger and toenails painted clear for the entire vacation.
Mistress having me wear clear mascara every night at dinner.
Wearing light perfume or feminine deodorant in the evenings.
Panties as much as she wants. Or no underwear. Or???
Being forced to wear a butt plug in the pool or at dinner.
Wearing my chastity device in the pool. No one would likely notice, but I would imagine the whole world could see it.
Bondage bed straps
Strap on play
Ziptie bondage
Feminine bedwear
Collar
A nice bruised ass to take on vacation
Needless to say I was very aroused and ready to cum with all of these thoughts going through my mind.
Having my finger and toenails painted clear for the entire vacation.
Mistress having me wear clear mascara every night at dinner.
Wearing light perfume or feminine deodorant in the evenings.
Panties as much as she wants. Or no underwear. Or???
Being forced to wear a butt plug in the pool or at dinner.
Wearing my chastity device in the pool. No one would likely notice, but I would imagine the whole world could see it.
Bondage bed straps
Strap on play
Ziptie bondage
Feminine bedwear
Collar
A nice bruised ass to take on vacation
Needless to say I was very aroused and ready to cum with all of these thoughts going through my mind.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Follow up to chastity
Today is kind of weird. Yesterday I didn't like the discomfort of chastity, but loved the headspace I was in. Today I am happy to be comfortable, but miss the control aspect of chastity. I am not good at articulating the pros and cons, but this guy is.
http://ruffsstuff.com/2014/07/ruff-thoughts-my-own-personal-chastity-challenge/
http://ruffsstuff.com/2014/07/ruff-thoughts-my-own-personal-chastity-challenge/
Thursday, August 21, 2014
In chastity
As suspected, it's uncomfortable, but the discomfort is more than replaced by the loss of control that I crave. It's a roller coaster. I forget I'm locked, things get comfy and I realize there is no strain, my mind realizes I am locked up and I start getting hard again. It's an endless circle, hard, soft, hard, soft, etc. I feel like I have a buzz from the device.
I also find my mind really wandering. Naughty thoughts keep crossing my mind. Fantasies of Mistress being mean to me. While looking for the date I was last in chastity, I saw a lot of blog posts I can't believe I posted. Mean, humiliating, fear inducing, disgusting, painful, embarrassing, but all erotic to me in one way or another. Stupid Libido and Stupid Chastity.
I was cleaning out my x-rated blog list and while doing so had the urge to edge. I couldn't. Thank got me hard. Instead I saved some pics that spoke to me louder than the rest. The first one is the most interesting. I can only imagine what this guy had to go through and it reminds me of how Mistress has been using me. There are cords to an e-stim device, 2 dildos attached to his body, his cock and balls bound.
One well used Franklin. He went straight back into his
cage after me using him all night
|
A Mistress applies a testicle compression device to her
subject…screwing it tight carefully for optimum uncomfortable pressure…..She
knows that correct testicle compression can assist in delaying orgasm but
ensuring a copious spend when a ruined orgasm and reflex ejaculation is finally
triggered….She is obviously pleased that she got the pressure ‘just right’ with
this subject!
|
So full |
Waterboarding. Hot and fucking scary. |
Gag, Plug, and chastity - and smiles. |
I love his pain and her smirk |
Fantasizing of mouth rape |
Nice humiliation. Especially if they are her own. I'm jealous. |
Poor Pet, dripping everywhere. He’s begging for release
but I don’t think it’s the right time. -Mistress
|
Disgusting. However, thinking about being forced to swallow it is a turn on |
too big! |
Good stress position to think about the errors of one's ways. |
Post orgasm torture |
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Today's Edge - Hot Story
The Cock That Couldn’t Cum – Tied Down and Tortured
Posted by cagedmonkey on August 7, 2014
This morning, after sending the little ones off to camp once again, My Lady and I spent a few minutes in bed cuddling naked with each other. It’s such a nice thing to be able to do that during this week. After a few moments, I let my hands roam all over ML’s sexy body. I began kissing her shoulders and her back, and soon I was moving down between her legs, my tongue searching out her wet horny pussy.
I missed My Lady’s taste so much over the past couple of days. It seemed as though she missed the touch of my lips on her pussy, also, because she was moaning within seconds. She sounded so sexy, letting the noise out as loud as she wanted to. I rubbed my face all over her pussy lips, covering my face in her pussy juice. She always loves it when I do that. So do I.
After a quick cum, My Lady grabbed her wand and said she wanted to cum on a nice thick cock. I was happy to oblige, sliding myself into her tight wetness as she vibrated her clit. The wand did it’s magic rather quickly, as ML came pretty hard pretty fast. I felt her pussy grip and squeeze my cock as I struggled to control my soaring pleasure. After her orgasm, ML continued to play with the wand. I told her that I couldn’t hold off much longer. “Well, get Adam,” she instructed me, “I’m not finished cumming with a thick cock inside me yet.”
I did as I was told, easily sliding Adam’s thick shaft into her juicy pussy. She moaned louder as the fake cock stretched her pussy wide and the wand tickled her clit incessantly. Her moans turned to screams as I fucked her harder and deeper with the dildo. Her orgasm hit with incredible intensity; her entire body curled up and she screamed over and over as each wave of pleasure hit her. I could resistance from her spasming pussy as I pushed Adam inside her, her pussy eventually giving way to the hard fucking dildo. After ML (eventually) came down from her huge orgasm, it was time to head downstairs for breakfast… or so I thought. ML had other plans for me. It was finally her turn to torture her toy.
ML restrained me to the bed, cuffing my hands together behind my head and my feet together at the bottom of the bed. I couldn’t move at all, I couldn’t even spread my legs. ML then grabbed the “peppermint” lube from the nightstand and began to apply a generous amount to my cock. She began stroking me gently at first, allowing the tingly nature of the peppermint lube to settle in. Once she noticed me squirming from the sensation, she took the wand and pushed it between my legs and under my balls. A flick of the switch, and I was instantly moaning as my balls were powerfully vibrated.
My Lady stroked my cock, alternating between a fast and slow pace, sometimes switching to “up only” motions she has described before – keep that window open and handy, she uses more of those techinques later! Anyways… after a minute or so, she started quickly stroking me, pushing me towards the edge of orgasm very quickly. I moaned and whimpered, not only because I was fucking desperate for an orgasm but also because I knew what was going to happen next. At just the right moment, ML released my cock, letting it fall onto my stomach with a thump. My body tried it’s best to cum, but it was no use. She’s become an expert at edging me, and she can take me to the very tipping point basically at will now. She edges me a couple of more times, and brought me up one more time. This time, she pushed me just about as far as she possibly could without making me cum. I hung on the edge, my body NEEDING to cum so bad but unable to… then ML adjusted the wand underneath my balls. And oh God, I was going to cum! And with the wand vibrating it might actually feel good!
A millisecond before my cock began to spasm, My Lady switched the wand off. FUCK, NO!!!! I screamed in my head. Out loud, I only managed a desperate moan as my cock twitched in futility. I felt the cum creeping up the inside of my cock as my orgasm was slowly ruined. Her technique of ruining my orgasm was so damn effective, I didn’t even leak out any cum… at first. After my cock finished it’s failure at cumming, she grabbed my shaft and rubbed the palm of her hand on the sensitive head of my cock.
My body lurched off of the bed! OMG FUCK was it intense! She was giving me post orgasm torture, but without even the pleasure of giving me a true orgasm first – post ruined orgasm torture, or PROCT (apparently ML invented this, lol). My body rolled around as she continued her assault on my poor cock head. I was moaning and grunting, wishing she would stop but knowing she wouldn’t until she was finished with me. The cum from my ruined orgasm seeped out and only served to supply My Lady with more lube for her palm. When that dried, she used more peppermint lube, giving me even more terrible sensation to suffer through.
Honestly, it sucked. It was horrible – I couldn’t stay still. Every muscle in my body was firing, trying to fight off the sensory overload that my brain could only interpret as pain. I had to remind myself to breathe, but each time I did I let out a loud moan, straining my vocal cords. My neck arched back; by the time she was finished with me, my shoulder blades had lifted completely off the bed and top of my head was pressing into the mattress. At one point – I have no idea how long this went on, because I was being sexually tortured at the time – she began stroking my cock as if to make me cum. But even this was too much for me to handle, because to my dismay I couldn’t cum no matter how bad I tried. ML had overloaded my orgasm circuits, first with the ruined o and then with the post-o torture. She was telling me to cum, stroking me as if to make me, I was trying as hard as I could… and I could feel it, sooooooo close…. it was RIGHT FUCKING THERE….. but I couldn’t! FUUUUUUUCK!
My Lady finally had mercy on me, releasing her grip on my cock. But my break was short lived; ML was climbing up on top of me, straddling me facing the other way, preparing to ride me and put the cock that couldn’t cum to good use. She shoved it into her pussy and ground her hips down onto mine, taking me as deep as she could. Little did I know that she was only lubing my cock up, getting it ready for what she really craved. She pulled off me and slid the head of my cock back a little bit, lining me up with her tight asshole. She popped the head of my cock into her ass, and somehow she shoved her hips down once again, taking my cock deep and fast all the way in her ass! Her ass was pressing me into the mattress, desperate to take my entire length. It was then that I felt the vibrations again – My Lady was using the wand on her clit as she fucked her ass with my cock!
Her screams were of pure pleasure, loud and uninhibited. Her ass bounced up and down as I felt my cock being buried deep in her ass. She rode me hard and fast; the quick pace, her tight ass gripping my cock, and the vibrations of the wand through her body would have definitely brought me off had it not been for the shutdown of my ability to cum. Then her whole body began to tremble and I felt her ass spasming around my cock as her orgasm hit her. She screamed even louder, letting out all of the tension and excitement that had built up while watching me suffer at her hand. Her orgasm was massive, her body shaking and her legs flexing in and out, pushing my cock in and out of her just the littlest bit. When she had finished cumming, she was woozy as she stood up, nearly having to hold herself up against the wall just to stand up straight. That woman can cum hard!
Link to post - http://monkeyinacage.wordpress.com/2014/08/07/the-cock-that-couldnt-cum-tied-down-and-tortured/
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Tomorrow's Edge
Not long after I zipped up from my last edging session I came across this. I'm saving it for tomorrow.
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