Blog post that I could relate to

I get lots of emails from Fetlife.  90% of them I delete.  Once in a great while I'll find a post that could have been written by me.  Below is that post.  I can identify with it by how often in my life I started to get exactly what I wanted and then I got scared and retreated.  This post just reminded me of how lucky I am to have a woman that has tolerated my occasional flakiness in this reals as well as a reminder to me to rember why I like what I like and how not to mess that up.  Here is the post.

'Lost opportunities. Alas. '

I've come oh-so-close to living in a relationship that involved true D/s, back in the day that is, but I never took that big step. More than once I had the chance, with some wonderful women who had all the qualities you could hope for in a potential partner.  She was serious about female dominance, feminization, bondage, discipline, humiliation as well as chastity.  She had intellect, passion, humor, and strength. A playful, creative spirit, sexuality unburdened and deliciously bent. Literate and wicked, with a voice that drips verbal humiliation like thick, golden honey. Ah, but I wax poetic.

Anyway, I always balked as soon as it became real, I panicked, and back-pedaled the relationships back to vanilla, or even male-dominant. I've played the dominant role most of my life, and comfortably; I'm naturally dominant in all aspects of life, and I've had long-term relationships with submissive women. Loved every minute.

But while being dominant was who I am, it wasn't what fueled my fantasies. I dreamed of Female Led Relationships filled with enforced chastity, role reversal, domestic servitude, feminization and strap-ons. Grass is always greener on the other side, I guess. So, every once in a while, between relationships (I never cheat), I'd try to flip the switch to submissive. Sometimes it was with my vanilla or submissive partner, if they took a real interest in what makes me tick, and showed a capacity to take the reins. Sometimes it didn't work, and the relationship failed. But what was even worse, sometimes they took to dominance like a duck to water. THAT was what scared me! The closer they got to making my deep fantasies come true, the more I'd try to wriggle away.

One girlfriend, brilliant and beautiful, seized her power and took steps to put me in chastity. It starts as pillow talk, but when it moves to conversations outside the bedroom, you know she's seriously thinking about it. We were just moving in together, and one night over dinner, she informed me that I was about to be placed in chastity. With an evil grin and a dispassionate tone, she outlined her intent to wean me off her pussy and transition me to a life of strictly regimented chastity and denial. Gulp! 
She walked me over to the computer and made me watch as she ordered the chastity device. "Um..." I stammered, as her finger hovered gracefully over the mouse before the final click.

"Too late now," she teased, "I ordered it, so you are certainly going to wear it." Then she dismissed me to do the dishes and clean up, chores appropriate for one of my diminishing status.

Long story short, it came, she came, and I didn't get to come.

It was so hot, so exciting, and so wrong that it was so right. But rather than go with it, I resisted, Lord knows why, it was my fantasy, after all. But I couldn't let go of my pride and my dominant side long enough to just have some fun, and my resistance sent her mixed signals. She wondered if she was doing something wrong, started doubting her dominance, and we just took things back to more familiar ground.

I always wonder what if. Ah, well. One thing is certain, I've learned my lesson. To quote a friend, "Had to learn the hard way, to let her pass by." Next time, if there is such a thing, I'm in. You can bet on it. It's a lock.

Hangover Horny

Apparently I am a little hungover today.  I don't really feel hungover, but with the thoughts going through my mind, it's the only logical explanation.

A short recap.  I think Mistress had a new way to torture me while pleasing herself.  She now seems very fond of strapping me down to the bed, blindfolded where she can pleasure herself with the hitachi and tease / hurt me at the same time.  I don't get to make her cum nor do I get to see her cum.  It's quite the mindfuck.

So now to my naughty thoughts today. Since I woke up this morning, I've thought about all of these things.

• having my ass stuffed with a large butt plug
• wearing high heels until my feet hurt
• locked in chastity
• with a slutty tight dress on
• wearing heavy eye makeup, women's deodorant and perfume
• being forced to send Mistress humiliating pictures of myself
• forced to suck a dildo
• tied to the bed, wearing dildo gag, Mistress putting the dildo in her and using the hitachi on herself while I drown in her juices
• Mistress using the little syringes to suck up my cum and inject it into my mouth.

That's all for now...  I just wanted to share before these thoughts went away.  I think seeing this post earlier this morning might have aided in my mood today.  http://akashaweb.com/updates/StableUpdateJan22.html

I LOVE MY MISTRESS!

Erotic, Romantic, Classy Images

I've spent a lot of time on this blog picking out some extreme examples of things I'd like to do.  On my last post I ran into some more subtle pictures, but hot nonetheless.  Here are a ton of pics that show Female Domination in a different light.

A Bet

This weekend Mistress and I had date night.  It was a completely vanilla date night and it was awesome.  We chatted and shared our dreams on the upcoming year.  Just as our date was ending Mistress and I bet on something.  She told me if she won she wanted me to lay in bed (no bondage) and use the hitachi on herself all the while ignoring my needs.  I found that to be very hot.  She then asked me what I wanted if I won.  I said "the same thing with me tied down" (win-win).  I won!

While Mistress has not been able to make good on the bet, it certainly has got me worked up.  I woke up very early Saturday morning with some very extreme thoughts going through my mind.  The last 2 days though, the extreme nature of my thoughts have receded.  That doesn't mean they have gone away. Mistress' bet brought another one of my fantasies up front in my mind.  That fantasy being where Mistress makes sure she is taken care of and I am either used for her pleasure or ignored while she pleases herself. When we first started dating I taught her that she was free to use me as much as she wanted and my orgasms shouldn't concern her.  Many times she would make me fuck her and after a few orgasms she would push me off and tell me she was done with me.  Our last session she used the hitachi on herself and eventually gave me a ruined orgasm.  The ruined orgasm sucked, but the fact Mistress took care of herself and intentionally took away my pleasure was very, very hot.

So now my fantasies have been revolving around this dynamic.  Here are a few variations...

• Mistress would tie me to the bed and get herself off time and again.  She might tease me she might not.  
• Mistress would watch one of her TV shows all the while teasing me and denying me.
• Mistress would tie me to the bed and make me use one hand to keep myself hard for an entire show.
• Mistress would use the electric butt plug on me and keep edging me until I was oozing pre-cum with no orgasm.  
• Mistress would use the hitachi on herself nightly while teasing me that I am not allowed to cum.
• Mistress would use the fucking machine while I had to watch her cum time and again.

Thank You!

This is a quick post to my Mistress.

Thank you for tying me up on Saturday.
Thank you for stretching me so tightly.
Thank you for making me put something in my ass.
Thank you for manipulating my prostate.
Thank you for hurting me.
Thank you for hitting my balls.
Thank you for leaving marks on me.
Thank you for teasing and denying me so much.
Thank you giving yourself orgasms while I could only listen.
Thank you for squirting all over my cock.
Thank you for ruining my orgasm :-)
Thank you for making me paint my toenails.
Thank you for making me wear a nighty last night.  That's why I was awake so early, thinking naughty thoughts.
Thank you for humiliating me with my feminine clothes, and making me show you my purchases.  I hate it but I love it.

As ordered, here are pics of my 2 outfits.  The first one fits terribly, The second one fits nicely.  In fact I gave myself a task of wearing the 2nd one until I finished this post.

Interesting Posts

I had intended to stay home today and get myself worked up, but thought that was a bad use of my time.  So I am heading into the office.  Before I left, I wanted to share a couple of hot posts I read this morning.

Sometimes She likes to watch a movie like this. She makes herself comfortable; often has me, at least partly, under her. I am tied-up, blindfolded, and have Bose soundproof headphones on (no music, obviously). That way I have no other sensory stimulation, except what she provides. She is all I can focus on- her touch, her fingers slowly brushing against my penis, her thumb gently rubbing the tip of my penis and the sensitive underside of the head. Sometimes she goes fast, but as I get close to cumming, she slows down, but still enough to keep me hard. I lose track of how many times she has edged me. By the time the movie is over, I have completely lost my mind, and she is ready for my services. I know I am going to spend the next couple hours serving her every desire..

Another Post

Well…  What a fucking Christmas.

As you may know, I’ve had my poor husband locked in his chastity cage for a while now.

We tried this once before, it didn’t go well.  Back then I locked him up and… well I guess I more or less ignored him.  I didn’t mean to do anything of the sort.  In my eyes, I wasn’t doing anything different than what I usually do.  Well, except locking his dick up.

It didn’t work.  He felt neglected.  He got angry.  I didn’t understand what was happening.  Feelings were hurt.

We took a big break.  We hashed through what was wrong. 

I didn’t realize that when you play this close to fire, you really have to be careful not to burn everything down.

We started round 2 a few weeks ago.  This time we had some better rules and safeguards.  One of them was that I would tease him or cuddle him or play with him at least 10 minutes a day. 

The other was that if I felt he was too needy or too clingy or I just wanted to be left alone, I’d say something, and he’d back off without a giving me grief.

It was a wild success. 

I. LOVED. IT.  While he was locked up, he showered me with worship.  He did everything I asked without any bullshit.  He did extra work around the house.  He wasn’t some pussy wimpy guy like I was afraid he might turn into, he was the strong man I fell in love with… just under my lock and key.  He was my Knight in shining armor, I was his Queen. 

I never came so hard.

Christmas eve around 11:30 pm I teased him about keeping him locked up, or telling him I was tired and wanted to go to bed.

He handled it all in good humor.

At 12:00am I unlocked him and played with his dick.  He became hard instantly, and just started fucking me like a madman.  It was great.

Shockingly he came right away. 

Also shockingly, he fucked me again in 5 minutes.  The second time was slower, more loving, but still had parts that were like an angry slam fuck.

We’ve been going wild since.

Shark week (my period) is coming up here any day.  I’ve told him that I am locking him up as soon as it hits.  I don’t want to have sex during that (gross!) and I told him there is no reason he needs to be free while I am… out of commission.

He asked when unlock will be.  I’ve simply told him “We’ll see.”  

Dark Side

The other day I told Mistress that although I had my fantasies, I want her to fulfill hers.  I want her to take me to the places she wants to take me even if they aren't on my kink list.  I want to see her enjoy her dark fantasies the way I like mine.  Even if they aren't on my list, I know I will enjoy what comes my way.  Since I had told her that, I just found a post that is supportive of such things.  Here it is.

Reconciling my dark side…

BDSM is not a road to travel down if you are afraid of introspection. There is a difference between a little slap and tickle, and realizing that the act of giving pain truly turns you on. While there are many levels of sadism, and I believe I read a post by bdsmgallery in which he described them, each of us has to face the fact that someone else’s pain, suffering, tears, bruises and utter submission has brought us the dark satisfaction that we seek. For me, it has been a bumpy road to acceptance.

Looking into the mirror and seeing a dark side that I had somehow managed to ignore or keep buried in a place that I did not know existed within myself, was extremely difficult. What is wrong with me? It is a question I have asked myself many times.  I know I am not the only one that questions themselves… I have read posts by both dominants and subs that struggle with accepting what each of us need. (I hope you don't mind if I reference you both… boston-jason , a dominant, and doasyouretold, a sub, have written beautiful posts about their personal journey of acceptance.)  The short answer is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I did not have some crazy, abusive Father that made me hate men. I was not raised in a man hating household, nor do I detest men, on the contrary…. I adore them!  (The first assumption that people make of those of us involved in the BDSM lifestyle, is that we are either, misogynists or misandrists.)

The second hardest part of self-acceptance has been the need to hide that side of my self from most of my friends and family. Unfortunately, I am not alone, as I believe most of us have to hide that side of ourselves from the people that are in our everyday lives. Society has drilled us with what is acceptable, and not acceptable in our bedrooms for so long, that we are bombarded with judgement from the vanilla world. Television portrays us a bunch of twisted, sick fucks. (*eye roll*) Even our jobs can be jeopardized by what we choose to do in our bedrooms…. or dungeons! ;-)

For me, BDSM can be cathartic, and brings an inner peace.  I have my own style, and my own way. I find I enjoy the combination of pleasure and pain combined… I like to push my sub to the peak of my ability, my personal limits, and his limits. (Or theirs… when I am lucky enough to play with someone else!) The combination of pleasure and pain confuses the brain, sending an increased load of hormones through a subs body, pushing him into subspace deeply. I, in turn, hit top-space in utter euphoria. It is a rush… the adrenaline, the arousal, the pain, the power and control, all culminate into one hugely cathartic experience. It’s addictive. 

Without learning to accept myself and this side of me, there could have been dire consequences that I have witnessed or discussed with many subs and doms alike. That lack of acceptance leads to severe subdrop, or topdrop, shame, remorse, rejection of one’s desires, and ultimately depression.  I am still learning to embrace the inner sadist, and understand her to the best of my ability, and in time I will. Until then, enjoy the journey with me….

And a special thanks to thedarksiderulestoday for the many, many challenging conversations along the way! Your insight is treasured and valued beyond measure! Thank you for knowing when to submit…. and when to allow me to be simply a lady in need of a shoulder, or an ear.
Mistress Macie

Stuff

So I've been worked up for the better part of a week.  The sex we had last week at the hotel and a few nights in a nighty got my juices going again.  So this morning I painted my toenails, knowing I will have to take off the polish in just a couple days.  I have also had all sorts of things running through my head, which I am going to bullet point below.

• Both mornings this weekend I had hoped to be inside my Mistress.  I fantasized about me pleasuring her and as soon as she had her fill of orgasms, she would push me off and tell me to go make her breakfast. She would tell me she wanted me ramped up for her evil plans in the afternoon.  
• I have been fantasizing about getting a couple humiliating alternative to my nighties.   Something that would make sleep nearly impossible like this...

 

• I have thought about having to wear the cheerleading outfit I have in front of my Mistress or something else like the straight jacket or being plugged in front of her.
• I have been fantasizing about Mistress violating my mouth in many, many ways.  Cum filled panties, her strap-on, the ejaculating dildo, spit from her mouth, etc.  I have been craving humiliation.
• lastly, I have been craving a cathartic beating.  Something that just releases all my stress.  My new job is requiring me to take a lot of control, so I am feeling the need to have control taken away from me.
• Something very naughty in our upcoming hotel stay.  

That's just the tip of the iceberg.  Even if none of that happens, I am so very happy to be spending some quality time with my Mistress over the holidays.

Update

So it's been over a month since I last posted.  Life has gotten very, very busy with me starting a new job (while I still have my old one).  Mistress and I also went 3 weeks without having sex.  That's pretty close to the longest we have gone in over 4 years.

This weekend we got to have sex again.  Mistress was pretty verbal during sex and got me pretty ramped up.  She told me things were going to start getting back to where we both want them.  With me wearing things under my clothes.  Going into chastity when I am with female clients, (which I find very hot).  I added that although I am much busier now we can take some of the tasks I would do during the day and do them during the evening (like wearing a butt plug for X number of hours, or a bra until bedtime).  I think it's hotter to be wearing things with her around any way.

In addition to the above Mistress is "forcing" nighties on my again.  As much as I don't like wearing them, they do speed up my libido.  The very first night she had me in a nighty, I had a dream about me wearing pantyhose (with a hole cut out for my cock) while having sex with my Mistress as well as dreams about wearing panties 24/7 and people knowing about it.  I have been pretty ramped up the last few days thinking about all of my D/s fantasies with my Mistress.

I'd love to do a nice long drawn out post, but I don't have time.  That being said, I did find another blog post that I found pretty hot.  Here it is.

Right now hubby is “sleeping” in the bedroom and enjoying(?), well maybe not so much enjoying but ENDURING his Thanksgiving morning! It’s no parade for him this morning, hahaha! I have my honey stuffed with the large Njoy plug, tied to the bed and the magic wand secured firmly to his chastity cage. What an amazing way to spend your thanksgiving morning, don't you think??

About a half an hour into having him restrained like this I received a few texts and nothing does them justice like just taking a screenshot. He really was having a tough time because the wand was giving him just enough to edge him and keep him wanting to cum but he just wasn't getting pushed over. I told him he likely wouldn't want to cum because that wand was just going to give him some massive Post Orgasmic Torture, simply because I have no plans to turn it off if it does happen. :)

 The best part of all of this is when I went in there and straddled the wand, just like it is there, and gave myself one awesome orgasm. I soaked right through my panties! Fuck it was fantastic! I did torment him a good portion of the morning already. He is still restrained and the wand secure but I turned it off for now to give the wand a rest so I can do it all over again.  It's going to be a long day for him.

Markings

My last post mentioned how wearing a chastity belt "marks" me as Mistress' property.  Lately I have been fantasizing a lot about being marked.  The more I think about it the more ways I think someone can be "marked".  There are already several ways I am already marked. Some subtle and some not so subtle.   The number one marking I have is the lack of hair on my body.  When I met Mistress I was shaved, but I at least had armpit hair.  Mistress requires me to shave my pits as well.  Shaving my body has some deniability (biking, body building), but shaved armpits is harder to explain.  I am very aware of it when we are around others and my shirt is off.  One can be marked with clothes.  Things such as panties, bras and nighty's aren't markings of the skin but I feel marked when wearing these items.  Although they can be easily removed, they are still a reminder of my submissiveness and if anyone were to see them, I would certainly be identified as a freak. Another way I am frequently marked is nail polish.  For about 6 months a year, my toenails are painted and sometimes my fingernails as well.  I am very aware and cautious.  When spring comes and my toenails are no longer painted, there is a solid 2-3 months that when I am barefoot or in flip-flops I freak out thinking everyone can see my toenails.  There is also a very visual reminder every time I look down and see my toes.  Polish also can't be removed as easily as clothing.  My collar is also a marking and one several people ask about.  It's deniable but still makes me very aware.

I fantasize about having a tattoo that marks me as being owned by Mistress.  Neither one of us is into tattoo's (as well as the permanence of a tattoo) so that's really not an option.  I do have some henna gel that last 5-7 days, so that is a good option.  I fantasize about Mistress using the gel on me and marking my body with humiliating words and such.  Since the gel doesn't wash away it would be a constant reminder and erotically humiliating.  Magic marker would also work, especially now that they make so many colors.

The last 2 are the markings I fantasize about the most.  One is bruising.  A nice black and blue that turns yellow after a few days.  Not only are the colors a reminder, but so is the pain that comes with the bruising.  There is no washing away the marks, and there is certainly no denying the marks.  Lastly is "cutting".  I have a couple scalpels  that I got at a kink event.  I fantasize about Mistress tying me down and lightly cutting her name or something humiliating into my skin.  Mistress doesn't like blood however so that will likely not happen.  I then think about doing it to myself or hiring a tattoo or piercing artist to do it for me.  The thought of having my submission carved into my skin makes me submissively drunk.

Voluntary Chastity vs. Enforced Chastity

Last might Mistress was teasing my locked up cock and balls before bed.  She indicated that she thought the reason my balls were not very full the other night was because I had an unauthorized orgasm.  I was bummed she thought that.  Here's why.

I have a long history of being a excessive masturbator. From the time I was 11-13 I masturbated as much as possible, even to the point of rubbing myself raw.  This carried into adulthood, into my first marriage, and into my mid-thirties.  At the time I denied it, but masturbation made me not want to be as physically sexual. However as I have gotten older and discovered the benefits of orgasm denial I have learned to be chaste voluntarily.  I got so good at being chaste voluntarily that when my ex-wife first left me, I continued to be chaste even though I was single.  I liked the horniness I felt going out as a newly single man.  I also liked edging myself and fantasizing about my future in D/s.  I like the feelings of orgasm denial so much I frequently beg Miss Bossy Bitch to not let me cum.  So for her to think I came without her and without her permission upset me.  That got me thinking about voluntary chastity vs. enforced chastity.

Voluntary chastity has become easy for me, mainly because I like the desire that builds up like I explain in my balloon theory.  Some of the benefits are comfort and the ability to wear panties and other tight clothes.  It also allows Mistress full access to my cock and balls.  There is also the ability to edge and get myself even more ramped up.  A full night of sleep is also a benefit.  Some of the downsides of voluntary chastity are that I am not 100% focused on my situation.  Accidents can happen when edging (although I report these).

Regarding chastity enforced with a device, here are some good aspects.  Almost 24/7 sexual thoughts.  A feeling of being owned.  Inability to edge unless I used something like the hitachi.  No doubts about knowing I am being faithful.  Some of the bad negative things are comfort.  Sleeplessness, but that sleeplessness does allow extra dirty thoughts to manifest themselves :-).  Lack of access, for Mistress and for my own cleanliness.

While I am completely committed to voluntary chastity, I can think of some instances when enforced chastity makes sense.  If Mistress were to relentlessly tease me as much as possible and not let me cum, at some point I would likely feel the need to be locked up.  It would likely have to be after several hours or days of teasing and denying.  With excessive teasing even the most strong willed submissive would be tempted to relieve the pressure.  Another reason is Mistress' piece of mind.  I have a very open schedule that a less trusting Mistress would have a hard time with.  Now I am very faithful and I don't want to mess up the trust that Mistress has in me, however if locking me up makes her feel more trusting I understand that.  Locking me up to get my libido ramped up or put me in a submissive state of mind are other good reasons.  Even locking me up as a punishment, or just because she wants me locked up makes sense.  It's funny, the only reason that seems to bug me is that she thinks I cum without her permission.

All that being said, Mistress let me out this morning.  While I like the freedom, for some reason I felt sub drop when she gave me the key.  I'm not sure how to explain that.  I know I love my Mistress and I love her even more for putting up with me.




    

One of the hottest things I have ever heard

Laying in bed last night just before turning the lights out, Mistress was lightly teasing my cock and balls.  She mentioned that my balls didn't seem very full since I had supposedly not cum in over a week.  I assured her that I had not cum (even one drop) and that any lack of fullness was due to other life events getting in the way.  She said "put your chastity device on". I wasn't sure I heard her correctly and asked her to repeat what she said.  She did indeed want me to put my chastity device on immediately.  I complied as quickly as I could given my state of semi arousal.  She then took the key and put it in between her breasts.  A couple minutes after the initial shock of what she just had me do, I moved closer to her to tell her how hot it was for her to do what she just did and how I like it when she takes control.  She said something to the effect of, "I plan controlling you a lot more.  Since I can't have any control at work, I'm going to take much more control around here."  DAMN!!!  That is so hot to hear.

Now I recognize the control she wants may not always be up my alley.  I obviously have my large laundry list of kinks and desires, but what I really yearn for is to have control taken from me as much as possible.  There is something so hot to me about not being in control.  To have things taken from me.  To be forced to do things.  To beg.   To not be able to move.  To be humiliated.  Interrogated. Forced to endure pain.  Forced to do D/s related protocols. Being made angry and brought back from that. 

Even being locked in chastity.  I really dislike the device, but I LOVE that Mistress makes me wear it anyway.  I would love to know what runs through her mind when she thinks about me in chastity.

All of that being said, my head is spinning thinking of all the nasty things I want to endure and be forced to do.  My head spins even more thinking of Mistress getting wet and getting off doing bad things to me as well as seeing how far she is willing to take me.  So very hot.

I found this after posting the above paragraphs.  This ties in nicely with what I have written about doing what I am told regardless of how I feel.

Rule Number 1 is don't ever argue with your wife. Always do as told, do it with a smile.
And, don't ever, ever embarrass your wife in front of other people. That last sentence should be in capitals, but men do it every day.  It doesn't matter if it is your wife's friend, her mother, your mother, a sister or whoever; you are there to serve and obey. A lot of men don't get this. Yes, they are submissive, or think they are, but not in front of certain other people. 

The first thing that any man, boyfriend, or husband needs to learn is that You make the rules. There are situations that will test his commitment to femdom. If a wife really wants to become her man's mistress she should be willing to test him in difficult situations. Some men are up to challenges. Many are not. The fantasy of living in a female controlled world is one thing. The reality is often another. A man who has been tested and tried in difficult situations is much more reliable than one who has not. Testing and trying men in difficult situations enforces their commitment to you and to the relationship. 

Men have no idea how much courage it takes for a wife to step out of the role she has been raised for since childhood for. A simple act of talking back can destroy her confidence.

          

Update and thoughts on spankings / beatings

I've been away for a short while due to us having house guests, being super busy and life in general.

During this time there is very little kink or otherwise to report.  Mistress did have me in chastity for a 24 hour period.  It was particularly frustrating because with everything going on it lacked much of an erotic element.  In addition to being in chastity I was having general hard time sleeping.  That in turn made me angry.  I almost woke Mistress up and demanded she let me out. That likely wouldn't have gone over well, and I certainly would have lost any progress I have made in recent months regarding D/s in our relationship.  Eventually I went to sleep and when I woke up in the morning all was fine (in addition to me being aroused).  This is a perfect example of the need for me to suck it up when things aren't exactly as I want them.  I went from being a mad little bitch to eroticising the control I have given her and the control she has taken.  It also feeds into my darker fantasies for me to believe Mistress can and will push me past my comfort level, all the time knowing I will eventually thank her for pushing me.

Over the last couple of months I have been hinting about wanting/needing a good beating (even though I am sure it will suck.  A few times over the week, Mistress has mentioned that maybe I needed a beating to adjust my attitude. That got me thinking about the catharsis that comes with a beating.  So in my quest to find out what makes me tick I did some research.  Here are some things I found interesting.

What is the big attraction of a spanking for stress relief? This question has been hounding me.

When one is stressed out with money problems, job problems or lack of same I suppose after a while the big appeal is the thought of having one's brain completely occupied by something other than the constant worries of the day.

There can sometimes be the temporary relief by the proper administration of a sufficient dose of alcohol... But, that offers others issues too and just doesn't offer the more instant relief that comes from the firm and repeated application of the hand, strap, paddle  or cane to buttocks.

Some of The benefits:

• You are instantly reminded that someone knows and cares and will take action to remind they are there and will help.
• For a little while, it's absolutely impossible to think about anything else other than the spanking that is happening.
• The closeness recharges the relationship and offers a feeling of safety that you're not alone.
• Instantly changes attitude
• Reminds for hours or, properly for days

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But why? What separates spanking from other forms of discipline? It's not the most painful -- I'd rather take a serious spanking than a mouth soaping any day. It's not even the most embarrassing -- for a lot of us, bare-bottom corner time trumps spanking for embarrassment.

1. Spanking is physical contact with my partner. People generally don't want to hug someone when they're angry with them.  Spanking, however, is a very physically intimate act that doesn't require my partner to put aside his genuine feelings of anger to initiate

2. Spanking is mind-clearing. It's the only discipline that is intense and instant enough to clear my mind of its endless chatter about why I'm right and he's wrong and yadda yadda -- all the stuff that gets in the way of two people working things out in a loving way. 

3. Spanking is sexual. Women in DD relationships, me included, spend a lot of time denying the presence of a sexual component in disciplinary spanking, but don't believe it for a second.

4. Spanking is cathartic. For both parties.

5. Spanking is primal.  Spanking is the equivalent of the lead dog in a pack nipping another dog that's gotten out of line -- like sex, it pushes instinctual buttons and sends signals that resonate with the core of our inner being. And because spanking reaches deeper than our conscious thought or civilized behavior can go, it has the power to evoke profound change in our attitudes and behavior.

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I was going to do more research, but want to be productive so I will leave it this.  Like I said the last couple of weeks have been less than "sexy", but I wanted to run with the things Mistress has mentioned.  Note, I found this the next morning after posting this.

More on erotic humiliation

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