Here are some hot examples (many, many examples)
Friday, October 23, 2015
Oral Worship
For the most part Mistress isn't into receiving oral sex. I don't think it does much for her, as she is big into penetration. However that doesn't mean I don't fantasize about being required provide oral sex or to be tortured with her pussy. For some reason in both Male Dom and Female Domme porn, being required to service the dominant is seen as submissive. For that reason I frequently fantasize about Mistress making me service her pussy and ass, her smothering me with her pussy and ass as well as squirting all over my face when she comes. I dream of her taking her juices and smearing them all over my face and not untied until they are dry. Forbidden to wash them off. I think about hours spent between her legs, sometime gagged just so I can be immersed in her scent. Mistress using her body to not only pleasure herself but to humiliate me in the process, I get hard just thinking about it. I want to be her pussy worshiping slave.
Here are some hot examples (many, many examples)
Here are some hot examples (many, many examples)
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Delaying
Mistress gave me a task to wear my butt plug for a minimum of 3 hours today. Normally I do it as soon as possible to get it over with. Today I will wait until I get home from work. I want the anticipation to build all day. To think about how long it's been. To have everything build up. I want to be plugged when Mistress comes home. I want to feel the shame and erotic humiliation of the things I am willing to do. I want my early morning horniness to go away so the shame is even greater. I dream of Mistress making me drop my pants to show her I am plugged or to have to ask permission to remove it after the three hours. I also dream of her making me put my plug in before bed but still having the 3 hour minimum rule. I would either sleep with naughty thoughts or barely sleep at all.
Gotta run!
Gotta run!
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Free - for now
Mistress let me out of chastity last night. I can safely admit that as much as I wanted to stay in chastity to beat some sort of record I am thrilled to be out. Getting released is a physical relief, but a mental let down. It's such psychological torture. Mistress has made sure to stay in my head today, as she sent me an email to wear something sexy under my clothes today. I will be wearing a sexy pair of fishnet tights that I bought super cheap a few weeks ago. I'm going to be feeling naughty and very desperate. I love it when she is in my head.
On my previous post about "other D/s couples" I forgot one.
Mistress L - Where i enjoy collecting ideas and sharing my real life d/s relationship, mostly to humiliate my gimp slave. Some very hot play they have. She seems nice, but mean when it counts.
Here is a hot post.
My favorite way to turn my pathetic slave into a fuck toy is restrain him nice and tight and gag him with a penis gag. Took the blindfold off to give him the pleasure of watching my ass bounce up and down his face. His useless little cock was so hard just watching me i couldn’t help but laugh.
After i came, i told him i was going to give him a blow job. The pathetic bitch got excited, only to see me lick and suck the dildo on his face clean.
My poor slave was so frustrated watching my mouth slide up and down, wishing my wet lips were on his cock instead…too bad fuck face, i wouldn’t bother sucking that little worm.
On my previous post about "other D/s couples" I forgot one.
Mistress L - Where i enjoy collecting ideas and sharing my real life d/s relationship, mostly to humiliate my gimp slave. Some very hot play they have. She seems nice, but mean when it counts.
Here is a hot post.
My favorite way to turn my pathetic slave into a fuck toy is restrain him nice and tight and gag him with a penis gag. Took the blindfold off to give him the pleasure of watching my ass bounce up and down his face. His useless little cock was so hard just watching me i couldn’t help but laugh.
After i came, i told him i was going to give him a blow job. The pathetic bitch got excited, only to see me lick and suck the dildo on his face clean.
My poor slave was so frustrated watching my mouth slide up and down, wishing my wet lips were on his cock instead…too bad fuck face, i wouldn’t bother sucking that little worm.
A few more
Monday, October 19, 2015
Silent Spankings
I ran across this the other day...
Today, we have both girls and all of the grandkids over at the house in the pool. My domina had instructed me to plant some flowers that she had bought and do a few other chores. after about an hour of working, I sat on the deck for a few minutes and watched the kids swimming. Instead of gaining her permission, I made that decision on my own....... mistake.
She came outside and asked me if I had everything done. I explained that I was resting for a few minutes and she looked at me puzzled and leaned over and whispered in my ear, " I don't recall giving permission for that". I started to get up and she quickly stopped me and asked me if I could give her a hand inside. I followed her into the bedroom and she instructed me to strip completely and lay face down on the bed. I did as instructed, fearing that the strap was soon to follow. "since the kids are in an and out, I can't punish you properly for now, but I have something in mind:. She tied my hands to he headboard and I could feel her rubbing my butt cheeks. she then went on to explain that she had recently read about silent spankings on a discipline web site, what she had rubbed on was a capsaicin cream used for arthritis. as she walked out, she told me things should be warming up shortly. she then informed me that my chastity release she had planned on for Father's Day was now to be postponed indefinitely.
I lay on the bed for about 10 minutes and suddenly felt by butt starting to get very warm. The warmth gave way to a very intense stinging that got worse as time went on. after 30 minutes, she came back in and untied me and told me to go finish what I had been instructed to do. as I finished my chores, the burning continued. After finishing, I went back to the deck and sat down to talk to the girls and realized that I could barely sit as the burning on my butt grew worse as I sat there. It has now been two hours since the application and I still feel a burning, but not as bad as before. My wife asked me which was worse, a full blown spanking or the silent spanking. I told her the silent spanking was just as bad as the aftermath of a real spanking without the pain of the spanking being administered. she gave me a knowing smile and walked away, apparently pleased with her new discovery......
One more article on it. http://cornertimeconfidential.blogspot.com/2014/04/youre-going-to-be-sleeping-on-your.html
Today, we have both girls and all of the grandkids over at the house in the pool. My domina had instructed me to plant some flowers that she had bought and do a few other chores. after about an hour of working, I sat on the deck for a few minutes and watched the kids swimming. Instead of gaining her permission, I made that decision on my own....... mistake.
She came outside and asked me if I had everything done. I explained that I was resting for a few minutes and she looked at me puzzled and leaned over and whispered in my ear, " I don't recall giving permission for that". I started to get up and she quickly stopped me and asked me if I could give her a hand inside. I followed her into the bedroom and she instructed me to strip completely and lay face down on the bed. I did as instructed, fearing that the strap was soon to follow. "since the kids are in an and out, I can't punish you properly for now, but I have something in mind:. She tied my hands to he headboard and I could feel her rubbing my butt cheeks. she then went on to explain that she had recently read about silent spankings on a discipline web site, what she had rubbed on was a capsaicin cream used for arthritis. as she walked out, she told me things should be warming up shortly. she then informed me that my chastity release she had planned on for Father's Day was now to be postponed indefinitely.
I lay on the bed for about 10 minutes and suddenly felt by butt starting to get very warm. The warmth gave way to a very intense stinging that got worse as time went on. after 30 minutes, she came back in and untied me and told me to go finish what I had been instructed to do. as I finished my chores, the burning continued. After finishing, I went back to the deck and sat down to talk to the girls and realized that I could barely sit as the burning on my butt grew worse as I sat there. It has now been two hours since the application and I still feel a burning, but not as bad as before. My wife asked me which was worse, a full blown spanking or the silent spanking. I told her the silent spanking was just as bad as the aftermath of a real spanking without the pain of the spanking being administered. she gave me a knowing smile and walked away, apparently pleased with her new discovery......
One more article on it. http://cornertimeconfidential.blogspot.com/2014/04/youre-going-to-be-sleeping-on-your.html
Random Rambling
Just some random thoughts.
I have now been locked up for a full week with a short 2 hour break so that Mistress and I could have sex and a nice nap. I was a shit yesterday morning so I have earned at least another day in chastity. I don't even question the extension. I deserve it. I thought putting myself back into chastity would be tough, but I wanted to show Mistress how serious I am about serving her, about her setting the guidelines of my behavior and how much I want her to be meaner to me. In reality, she can put me in chastity for whatever reason she wants. It just so happens in this case it's to correct some behavior.
It was awesome being inside of Mistress. With my cock having no feeling other than dead air or a tight metal squeeze, being inside of her was amazing. One downside to chastity is the inevitable premature ejaculation from the new amazing sensations.
I still have some markings from last Saturday night's scene with the rubber bands. I really, really like being bruised and marked for so long.
Chastity downside. I don't get to wear panties as none of them will accommodate my device although maybe that's what crotch-less panties are for.
I have now been locked up for a full week with a short 2 hour break so that Mistress and I could have sex and a nice nap. I was a shit yesterday morning so I have earned at least another day in chastity. I don't even question the extension. I deserve it. I thought putting myself back into chastity would be tough, but I wanted to show Mistress how serious I am about serving her, about her setting the guidelines of my behavior and how much I want her to be meaner to me. In reality, she can put me in chastity for whatever reason she wants. It just so happens in this case it's to correct some behavior.
It was awesome being inside of Mistress. With my cock having no feeling other than dead air or a tight metal squeeze, being inside of her was amazing. One downside to chastity is the inevitable premature ejaculation from the new amazing sensations.
I still have some markings from last Saturday night's scene with the rubber bands. I really, really like being bruised and marked for so long.
Chastity downside. I don't get to wear panties as none of them will accommodate my device although maybe that's what crotch-less panties are for.
I love Mistress taking control and bossing me around. That's how we got the name of this blog, as she is bossy by nature. I also take control, but I love submitting to her bossy nature. It does things to my brain that I cannot deny.
I look forward to Mistress being meaner. I think it's hard for her. It's not normal to treat someone badly and think you are doing them a favor, especially when you love someone. I just have to keep embracing the mean side and when she wants to be nice (like letting me out of chastity to shave) I need to help her be firm in being mean to me. Ultimately it will serve us both well.
I wish I could edge right now. Feel my cock get hard without discomfort. Get to that glorious place just before I cum. Maybe leaking a bit and having to lick it up. But no such luck. All I get to do is fantasize about it which is probably one of the great things about chastity.
Since I am on the topic, I have spent all week thinking about being locked up for a # of days without release. I'd like to set a personal record for being locked up. The only problem is it will be mentally tough without a lot of effort on both of our parts, as the tease is as is more important as the deny.
My head is spinning with lust thinking about being back inside my Mistress.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Other D/s Couples
One of the best things about the internet is that you quickly learn that you are more normal than society wants you to realize. I was into bondage before I knew there was such a thing. I loved being the tied up kid whenever we played cops and robbers, cowboys and indians or any other game kids play that require someone to be a captive. I especially liked it when my best friends older sisters "captured" me. I had long detailed fantasies about being the popular girls' slave in junior high and the nasty things they would make me do. As an adult, I obviously knew about BDSM, but to get any new information I had to go to adult bookstores in the bad part of town. Just walking into those places made me feel dirty. Then came 1996 and consistent internet access. There was a whole world of D/s, all from the comfort of your own home. I quickly learned that millions of people around the world shared my interest. Being a guy that occasionally like to wear girls underwear or tied tied up and humiliated was no longer a bad thing. To be fair, I still hide it as society really doesn't allow us to "some out", but I'm OK with that as I don't have any need for people who know me to know me any more than they already do.
That brings me to this posts topic. Other D/s couples and what I like about them. Here are some in no particular order.
Strict Julie Spanks! - Recently this is the one I am drawn to the most. What I like, she gives her husband spankings that scare me just reading about them, but I still find them super hot. She also finds ways to bring women into their house for the sole purpose of humiliating her man. Some of my favorite posts are.
femdom101 - This one sticks in my mind for 2 reasons. 1. She found out about Femdom unintentionally. She found out her husband had been visiting a pro-domme. While she naturally freaked out, she also wanted to find out why. It turns out it wasn't about being with other women, it was about being controlled. She befriended the pro-domme and learned what made him tick. the second reason is the "cage time" she instituted while she was learning. It allowed him to submit and her to know she had full control. The ides of being in a cage turns me on and scares me.
Real Life Female Domination - This one gets me hot for one reason. She's a total bitch to her boy. She frequently ties him down and sets up a long and torturous session but for the most part requires little effort on her part. She uses it to get some "alone time". For most of these sessions she puts earplugs or headphones in his ears. She blindfolds him before putting a mask on him. She gags him with a funnel in his mouth that she either spits in or puts ice in (the ice is usually made from her piss and/or his cum). She then reads books and watches TV shows and she uses a baby monitor to keep an eye on his safety. Usually once or twice an hour she will edge him, or hurt his cock with a ruler or icy-hot on his cock and balls (a very painful and long lasting punishment) or nettles (something Mistress had me try on my cock at a fetish event we attended. For 1-4 hours his only world is the pain she puts him through and the taste of her piss. He can't see, hear or feel anything other than her bitchiness. Very scary, and very hot.
This girl's weblog - of life married to a deviously dominant madman! - This one is with a female submissive, but I like it because of how elaborate their setups are.
Deviant Display - Just hot with their outfits and their exhibitionism. That and he seems locked in chastity quite a bit.
The family dog
Barefoot Princess - I can't vouch or their relationship, but I believe they are in one as he has been in all of her videos for years. The reason I like her videos is due to how "mean" she is to her boy. He is usually tied uncomfortably. If he comes without permission she abuses his balls after he cums and laughs the whole time. She squeezes and kneads his balls while at the same time stroking his cock. And lastly she makes him eat lots and lots of cum. My favorite scene is where she has him in a cage. His condom covered cock sticks out one end and his head is at the other end with a funnel in his mouth. She uses a Hitachi to get him to cum in the condom and once he comes she dumps it in the funnel. Very hot.
There are a lot of other blogs out there with great ideas, but I like these because they seem to be in loving relationships and make my weirdness seem a little more normal.
Barefoot Princess - I can't vouch or their relationship, but I believe they are in one as he has been in all of her videos for years. The reason I like her videos is due to how "mean" she is to her boy. He is usually tied uncomfortably. If he comes without permission she abuses his balls after he cums and laughs the whole time. She squeezes and kneads his balls while at the same time stroking his cock. And lastly she makes him eat lots and lots of cum. My favorite scene is where she has him in a cage. His condom covered cock sticks out one end and his head is at the other end with a funnel in his mouth. She uses a Hitachi to get him to cum in the condom and once he comes she dumps it in the funnel. Very hot.
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| About to cum in condom and then eat it |
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| Another cum eating scene |
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| What will she do with that funnel? |
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| A great example of holding a coin up with his nose. His back will hurt soon. |
There are a lot of other blogs out there with great ideas, but I like these because they seem to be in loving relationships and make my weirdness seem a little more normal.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Other thoughts
I have completed 3 days of uninterrupted chastity and am starting on my 4th day. I have added a counter to the blog so that everyone that reads this blog will know my current situation.
Last night Mistress was understandably upset with me about something in our real life, so she made me wear a nighty again and didn't roll a dice to see if I would be let out for the night. In reality I wasn't at all upset that she wasn't going to roll the dice as I have totally accepted the fact that I will be locked up for a minimum of 7 days straight. In fact it's a mental goal I have. If I can do a week with no issues after being unlocked for almost a year, I can likely do any amount of time. The idea of being released for even a few hours is more of a mind fuck. It's like the warden telling the prisoner he's about to get paroled just to fuck with him.
While I wasn't upset about being unlocked, I was upset that I didn't treat Mistress better last night. She had a tough day and I didn't pick up on how tough it was. So I was mad at myself for disappointing her. I try to serve her in many ways and one of those being her sounding board when she's had a tough day. I can do better.
The fact I was upset with myself made the nighty and another night in chastity a fitting punishment in my mind while I drifted off to sleep. The many times I awoke during the night reinforced my mental state as her slave. As such, I woke in an extremely submissive, horny and feminine mood.
Obviously chastity is at the top of my mind, but that doesn't mean I don't have other thoughts. Mistress and I just got a new bathtub. We're having some issues with it, but when it's repaired I fantasize about something like this. Very, very hot.
Last night Mistress was understandably upset with me about something in our real life, so she made me wear a nighty again and didn't roll a dice to see if I would be let out for the night. In reality I wasn't at all upset that she wasn't going to roll the dice as I have totally accepted the fact that I will be locked up for a minimum of 7 days straight. In fact it's a mental goal I have. If I can do a week with no issues after being unlocked for almost a year, I can likely do any amount of time. The idea of being released for even a few hours is more of a mind fuck. It's like the warden telling the prisoner he's about to get paroled just to fuck with him.
While I wasn't upset about being unlocked, I was upset that I didn't treat Mistress better last night. She had a tough day and I didn't pick up on how tough it was. So I was mad at myself for disappointing her. I try to serve her in many ways and one of those being her sounding board when she's had a tough day. I can do better.
The fact I was upset with myself made the nighty and another night in chastity a fitting punishment in my mind while I drifted off to sleep. The many times I awoke during the night reinforced my mental state as her slave. As such, I woke in an extremely submissive, horny and feminine mood.
Obviously chastity is at the top of my mind, but that doesn't mean I don't have other thoughts. Mistress and I just got a new bathtub. We're having some issues with it, but when it's repaired I fantasize about something like this. Very, very hot.
Now I am off to shave my body and re-do my nail polish. Today toenails will be pink and fingernails with a tiny bit of color (not clear).
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Difficulty in a good way.
As I write this my current time in lock up is 2 days 1 hour and 20 minutes, but who's counting? Going back to last year my longest continuous lock up was 7.5 days which surprisingly was Oct 7-14th or almost the same week a year earlier. I was locked up 5 times and only one time was less than 2.5 days.
I mention it because I had a chance to get released for about 8 hours last night. Apparently Mistress liked a few ideas in yesterday's post. One was wearing a nighty in addition to chastity. As predicted it added another layer of difficulty to my night of sleep. When I say difficulty, I don't mean that as a complaint, I mean that as it was difficult in just the right way. First off I picked a nighty that was too restrictive. But instead of whining or trying to get out of it I sucked it up and did my best to deal with it. I actually tried to find a way to ask Mistress to let me change into another one, but I also feared she might let me, and I wanted to endure it. I went to bed frustrated and a little angry at myself for putting myself in such an uncomfortable position. However during the night that difficulty worked its magic. Every time I woke up to change positions I not only had to adjust my chastity device I had to adjust my nighty. Every time I did that, it went straight to my brain. It reinforced the idea that I am a submissive that craves to be treated this way. I would end up with thoughts of Mistress making me sleep in far less comfortable circumstances and making my current situation seem like a walk in the park. I fantasized about sleeping in restraints, or a cage, or the strait jacket or pantyhose and bra, etc. That in turn got me super hard and uncomfortable in my chastity device. I just stewed in my own thoughts until my brain was submissively mushy.
Mistress also seemed to like the dice game. As mentioned above, I had the opportunity to be out of my device over night. Mistress asked me to pick a number and if she rolled that number I would be released for the night. I picked a 3 and she rolled a 4. It was a mind-fuck thinking I would get out and I had a 17% chance of it happening. Had she actually rolled a 3 I would have been happy on one side but disappointed on the other. I am embracing being in chastity and am wearing my time locked up with a sense of pride. Getting out (even for a short while) would be such a catch-22. As such I woke up this morning with a little bit of shame for being such a slut, but also with a ton of pride that I endured a night in chastity and a very restrictive nighty. I look forward to enduring increasingly challenging situations.
I have actually been fantasizing about being locked in chastity for weeks on end, but also am very aware of the challenges and work it would take on both of our parts to due it successfully. We have too much going on these days to make that work positively for both of us, but a guy can fantasize.
When researching some dice ideas there were a few more that came up.
- Assigning the # of a roll to a task or punishment
- Rolling dice to calculate a number of spankings
- Rolling dice to calculate a number of edges
- Rolling dice to calculate # of orgasms Mistress gets before I get one.
In the interest of not topping from the bottom, a quick google search of "chastity dice ideas" with or without the word dice "femdom dice ideas" or "bdsm dice ideas" has a lot of interesting games although some seem very convoluted.
Lastly, I was being a little snarky last night. Mistress advised me that I had better watch myself. She said she had a punishment that I would not enjoy and that if I didn't watch myself she would use it.
Now I have no idea what it is, and I am sure I wouldn't like it, at least not while it was happening, afterward is another story :-) That being said, I find it super, super hot that she is thinking of ways to not only punish me but also make sure the punishment is harsh. I sense a "be careful what you wish for" scenario coming up. I am a lucky, lucky man.
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| Locked with markings still showing from Saturday's scene |
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
So it begins
I have now been locked up over 24 hours and as much as I hate to admit it, it is going better than I expected. By changing my mindset from dreading it to embracing it I am better prepared to handle the challenges of chastity. By accepting that the reason I am in chastity is 100% my fault and allows me to deal with it.
My first day in chastity reminded me of some of the difficulty of being in chastity, but with every pinch, pain or frustration I had, I told myself, this is how you make Mistress feel by your actions. I'm owning how I have acted and how that has affected her. I am accepting (dare I say enjoying) my fate.
As soon as my head hit the pillow last night my mind started racing. I thought about how the next week will be, how Mistress will likely be in my head and fuck with me, keeping me on my toes. I thought about her leaving my key in her desk at work. I thought about how I'm lucky I wasn't in a nighty too. Talk about a night filled with images...
Last night I made dinner using a spice called cumin. We made a couple jokes about how lately I have loved cumin in recipes and the joke quickly got to how I love cumming. Mistress mentioned that she is intending on making me cum in the next couple days and locking me back up immediately. I told her that was mean and she said, "I know that. You said you wanted me to be meaner". To which I confessed I truly did want her to be meaner and thought to myself "much meaner".
All of that being said, I am feeling a little oversexed right now. Chastity is the ultimate mind fuck. When I am unlocked, I can forget about my cock, and therefore forget about touching myself, forget about sex, forget about porn, etc. I can pretty much delegate sexual thoughts out of my mind, even though I have full access to my cock.
When I am locked and I want to push thoughts to the back of my mind, I cannot. All I can do is think about my cock, which makes me want to touch it, makes me want to cum, makes me want to fuck Mistress, and makes me a sexual mess. There is no pushing sexual thoughts out for more than a few minutes at a time.
That being said, now that I am locked up, I can make up a "scene idea" for chastity. The reason I didn't do it sooner was I was afraid Mistress would take that as I wanted to be locked up.
Here are some chastity ideas. # 13 (unlucky # 13 ) Chastity
Thank you Mistress for locking me up and telling me you plan on being meaner. I'm in heaven!
My first day in chastity reminded me of some of the difficulty of being in chastity, but with every pinch, pain or frustration I had, I told myself, this is how you make Mistress feel by your actions. I'm owning how I have acted and how that has affected her. I am accepting (dare I say enjoying) my fate.
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| Wearing my device with pride, and bruises. |
Last night I made dinner using a spice called cumin. We made a couple jokes about how lately I have loved cumin in recipes and the joke quickly got to how I love cumming. Mistress mentioned that she is intending on making me cum in the next couple days and locking me back up immediately. I told her that was mean and she said, "I know that. You said you wanted me to be meaner". To which I confessed I truly did want her to be meaner and thought to myself "much meaner".
All of that being said, I am feeling a little oversexed right now. Chastity is the ultimate mind fuck. When I am unlocked, I can forget about my cock, and therefore forget about touching myself, forget about sex, forget about porn, etc. I can pretty much delegate sexual thoughts out of my mind, even though I have full access to my cock.
When I am locked and I want to push thoughts to the back of my mind, I cannot. All I can do is think about my cock, which makes me want to touch it, makes me want to cum, makes me want to fuck Mistress, and makes me a sexual mess. There is no pushing sexual thoughts out for more than a few minutes at a time.
That being said, now that I am locked up, I can make up a "scene idea" for chastity. The reason I didn't do it sooner was I was afraid Mistress would take that as I wanted to be locked up.
Here are some chastity ideas. # 13 (unlucky # 13 ) Chastity
Thank you Mistress for locking me up and telling me you plan on being meaner. I'm in heaven!
Monday, October 12, 2015
Penance
pen•ance (ˈpÉ›n É™ns)
Noun
"A punishment for a sinful act or wrongdoing. It may be intended to serve as reparation for the act."
This morning I got out of bed to find Mistress had placed my chastity device on my bathroom vanity. As required, I reminded Mistress that I was to start my week of chastity punishment this morning. I wasn't 100% sure if she was going to go through with it. Physically I would have been thrilled if she didn't go through with it, but mentally and emotionally I would have been sad. It's a real conundrum to hate something so much, but at the same time need it at my very core.
The last time I was was locked up was last November, so apparently I had been pretty good up until now. I keep a log of my time in chastity on this blog Chastity Tracker and it appears my attitude might be seasonal. From Sept 8th to November 7th 2014 I was locked up for a total of 14.5 days. I went back and read some of the posts from last year. They were very similar to my recent posts about wanting my limits pushed and for Mistress to be meaner to me. There was even a post about Mistress extending my release date because I forgot to do something I was told to do. As it should be.
As a reminder, I am in chastity because I have been a shit. I have been snapping at Mistress and I have been short with her. I needed a reminder of my place in our relationship, a place I crave to be. Since chastity is 24/7 and by it's very design, there is no way to forget about it. I am constantly reminded of being locked, having no access and feel somewhat emasculated. For as long as Mistress keeps me locked up, I will remind myself of my wrongs and how to be a better slave. I will remind myself that she didn't do this to me, I did it to myself. I will embrace this punishment because I would much rather Mistress correct me with D/s than with no D/s whatsoever. Being locked up, being beaten badly, being forced to stand in a corner with my pants around my ankles are all preferable to Mistress not using D/s to reward or punish me.
I am a submissive at heart and am so grateful to have found someone that understands me enough to correct me when I falter vs. being resentful. I am blessed.
P.S. Follow Up to the other night. Mistress asked me which was worse, the rubber band or the ugly stick. Their pain is the same. The difference is the rubber band is there as a constant reminder. Also as a standard household item, it;s kind of a mind fuck. As far as the ugly stick, its benefit is the surprise effect. You know where the rubber band will hit you. You have no clue where the ugly stick will hit. They each have their benefit in the dominant's tool box.
Noun
"A punishment for a sinful act or wrongdoing. It may be intended to serve as reparation for the act."
This morning I got out of bed to find Mistress had placed my chastity device on my bathroom vanity. As required, I reminded Mistress that I was to start my week of chastity punishment this morning. I wasn't 100% sure if she was going to go through with it. Physically I would have been thrilled if she didn't go through with it, but mentally and emotionally I would have been sad. It's a real conundrum to hate something so much, but at the same time need it at my very core.
The last time I was was locked up was last November, so apparently I had been pretty good up until now. I keep a log of my time in chastity on this blog Chastity Tracker and it appears my attitude might be seasonal. From Sept 8th to November 7th 2014 I was locked up for a total of 14.5 days. I went back and read some of the posts from last year. They were very similar to my recent posts about wanting my limits pushed and for Mistress to be meaner to me. There was even a post about Mistress extending my release date because I forgot to do something I was told to do. As it should be.
As a reminder, I am in chastity because I have been a shit. I have been snapping at Mistress and I have been short with her. I needed a reminder of my place in our relationship, a place I crave to be. Since chastity is 24/7 and by it's very design, there is no way to forget about it. I am constantly reminded of being locked, having no access and feel somewhat emasculated. For as long as Mistress keeps me locked up, I will remind myself of my wrongs and how to be a better slave. I will remind myself that she didn't do this to me, I did it to myself. I will embrace this punishment because I would much rather Mistress correct me with D/s than with no D/s whatsoever. Being locked up, being beaten badly, being forced to stand in a corner with my pants around my ankles are all preferable to Mistress not using D/s to reward or punish me.
I am a submissive at heart and am so grateful to have found someone that understands me enough to correct me when I falter vs. being resentful. I am blessed.
P.S. Follow Up to the other night. Mistress asked me which was worse, the rubber band or the ugly stick. Their pain is the same. The difference is the rubber band is there as a constant reminder. Also as a standard household item, it;s kind of a mind fuck. As far as the ugly stick, its benefit is the surprise effect. You know where the rubber band will hit you. You have no clue where the ugly stick will hit. They each have their benefit in the dominant's tool box.
Yesterday's marks from Sunday.
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| Today' marks from Sunday. Starting to bruise Yay! |
Sunday, October 11, 2015
A recap of last night's scene
Mistress and I have had a TON going on lately. Not only has our time to be intimate been reduced, we've had a lot of work to do and stress has been higher than normal. With increased stress I have been a little bit snippy lately. I have had a bad tone to my voice and for lack of a better term, I have talked down to Mistress. I hate it when I get this way. It's one reason my marriage failed so I know I have some work to do. I catch myself getting frustrated and have a lot self-talk about how it's not anything she is doing, but it's about how I react. Mistress took the high road and gave me a session last night to try and deal with my attitude. Here is my recollection.
During the last day or so Mistress had been hinting that I'd better watch myself or she was going to do something about my attitude. Her talk escalated into talking about a sever edging session with a good beating. Part intrigued me and part scared me especially with all of my talk about wanting her to hurt me beyond what I want. When we got home early from a party she had me get the bed ready as well as myself. We use some very simple straps that go under the bed, but they hold me as strong as any 4 poster bed would. I put on my pink wrist and ankle restraints, put some towels down and put some femdom porn on the bedroom TV. Mistress had me blindfold myself and slide some big rubber bands around my upper thighs while she went around the bed securing my limbs to the 4 corners of the bed. I was spread out and couldn't move. Mistress teased my cock some and talked to me about my attitude.
Now here is where my story may jump around and get fuzzy. I had a slight buzz going on from alcohol at the party and a few drinks of wine I had when we got some. Being tied up always makes my mind a little mushy and the endorphins I had running through me made me lose a sense of time.
As Mistress proceeded to talk to me about my attitude, she would alternate between snapping the rubber bands around my upper thighs and stroking my cock. I know I am wrong and had no qualms about admitting it. She mentioned that to help me remember our talk I would be going back into chastity for a week on Monday morning. As much as I don't want that to happen, I also think it will be good for us. It will remind me that Mistress has full control over me and she can do what she wants. I also hope that by me willfully and enthusiastically accepting it, it will empower her to be crueler to me.
Mistress put something in my mouth. It was her wet fingers. It was heavenly. I so wanted her to keep feeding me her pussy juices. I longed for her to put her dirty panties under my nose. I wanted that so much I played a video with a Mistress doing just that.
Mistress also put her strapon in my ass. She didn't wear it, but she got it in my ass (I am guessing about half way). It has been a few months since I had something in my ass. As much as I hate to admit it, it was heavenly. While I occasionally wear a butt plug this was much better. Being close to her, having her cock in my ass while stroking my cock was a perfect cocktail of lust. I wanted her to rape my ass at that point, but didn't tell her so. She edged me close enough that the dildo was able to milk some cum out of my cock. I imagined her fucking my ass to get me to use my safe word. Maybe we will have to get the fucking machine out of storage to make that happen some day.
Still during all of this Mistress would snap the rubber bands or hit me with some other device. I kept begging her to hurt me until I used my safe word. She kept bringing me to the edge over and over again, expertly not letting me get too close. It was like she had gotten much better at edging me.
At one point during the scene, Mistress used a device on my balls to try and get me to safe word. She expertly hit one testicle. The sensation was of a smack to the scrotum which hurt, but went away, but then also a deep throbbing pain in my testicle. Out of everything she had done to me, this was the most likely to get me to safe word, but I was resolute that she would have to do it to me 10 or more times to get me to crack. After she hit my ball she stroked my cock. The sensation was something very unique. While my ball hurt in a bad way, the stroking felt amazing, but at the same time agonizing. As I got closer to the edge, my testicle would hurt more. It was a perfect mind fuck as I wanted her to keep stroking but the pain in my ball made me want her to stop.
Mistress kept up her teasing. She used the Hitachi under my balls and stocked my cock. She would bring me to the edge so quickly and so strongly that I thought I would cum. Mistress would remove her hand but press the Hitachi under my perineum which would just keep me on the edge. She would touch my cock, but I don't know how she was doing it as the buzzing from the Hitachi overrode how I could feel things.
Mistress stopped this for a bit and hit my other testicle. This one hurt just like the first, but it also brought back the pain from the first hit. As she stroked my cock , both of my balls throbbed with pain as my cock enjoyed the stroking. This was a good mind fuck.
Mistress went back to using the Hitachi on me and stroking my cock to keep me on the edge. I am not kidding when I write this. This was the best edging experience of my life. Instead of going up to the edge and back, she just kept me right at the top of the sensation. As great as it was it was also terrible. I was straining every muscle to try and cum. My body wanted to cum badly, but my submissive brain didn't want me to. My biological need to cum was battling my submissive brain. I was straining, begging her to both let me cum and also to not let me cum. I wanted her to hurt me worse. I wanted to beg her to stop. I was afraid I was going to safe word from this sensation and not physical pain. I wanted this heaven & hell sensation to last forever.
In the end Mistress coaxed the beginning of an orgasm from me. She stopped before I got the full effect, so in effect it was partially ruined. It was enough that I got some sub drop and used my safe word before anything else could happen.
Looking back to last night I have some takeaways.
During the last day or so Mistress had been hinting that I'd better watch myself or she was going to do something about my attitude. Her talk escalated into talking about a sever edging session with a good beating. Part intrigued me and part scared me especially with all of my talk about wanting her to hurt me beyond what I want. When we got home early from a party she had me get the bed ready as well as myself. We use some very simple straps that go under the bed, but they hold me as strong as any 4 poster bed would. I put on my pink wrist and ankle restraints, put some towels down and put some femdom porn on the bedroom TV. Mistress had me blindfold myself and slide some big rubber bands around my upper thighs while she went around the bed securing my limbs to the 4 corners of the bed. I was spread out and couldn't move. Mistress teased my cock some and talked to me about my attitude.
Now here is where my story may jump around and get fuzzy. I had a slight buzz going on from alcohol at the party and a few drinks of wine I had when we got some. Being tied up always makes my mind a little mushy and the endorphins I had running through me made me lose a sense of time.
As Mistress proceeded to talk to me about my attitude, she would alternate between snapping the rubber bands around my upper thighs and stroking my cock. I know I am wrong and had no qualms about admitting it. She mentioned that to help me remember our talk I would be going back into chastity for a week on Monday morning. As much as I don't want that to happen, I also think it will be good for us. It will remind me that Mistress has full control over me and she can do what she wants. I also hope that by me willfully and enthusiastically accepting it, it will empower her to be crueler to me.
Mistress put something in my mouth. It was her wet fingers. It was heavenly. I so wanted her to keep feeding me her pussy juices. I longed for her to put her dirty panties under my nose. I wanted that so much I played a video with a Mistress doing just that.
Mistress also put her strapon in my ass. She didn't wear it, but she got it in my ass (I am guessing about half way). It has been a few months since I had something in my ass. As much as I hate to admit it, it was heavenly. While I occasionally wear a butt plug this was much better. Being close to her, having her cock in my ass while stroking my cock was a perfect cocktail of lust. I wanted her to rape my ass at that point, but didn't tell her so. She edged me close enough that the dildo was able to milk some cum out of my cock. I imagined her fucking my ass to get me to use my safe word. Maybe we will have to get the fucking machine out of storage to make that happen some day.
Still during all of this Mistress would snap the rubber bands or hit me with some other device. I kept begging her to hurt me until I used my safe word. She kept bringing me to the edge over and over again, expertly not letting me get too close. It was like she had gotten much better at edging me.
At one point during the scene, Mistress used a device on my balls to try and get me to safe word. She expertly hit one testicle. The sensation was of a smack to the scrotum which hurt, but went away, but then also a deep throbbing pain in my testicle. Out of everything she had done to me, this was the most likely to get me to safe word, but I was resolute that she would have to do it to me 10 or more times to get me to crack. After she hit my ball she stroked my cock. The sensation was something very unique. While my ball hurt in a bad way, the stroking felt amazing, but at the same time agonizing. As I got closer to the edge, my testicle would hurt more. It was a perfect mind fuck as I wanted her to keep stroking but the pain in my ball made me want her to stop.
Mistress kept up her teasing. She used the Hitachi under my balls and stocked my cock. She would bring me to the edge so quickly and so strongly that I thought I would cum. Mistress would remove her hand but press the Hitachi under my perineum which would just keep me on the edge. She would touch my cock, but I don't know how she was doing it as the buzzing from the Hitachi overrode how I could feel things.
Mistress stopped this for a bit and hit my other testicle. This one hurt just like the first, but it also brought back the pain from the first hit. As she stroked my cock , both of my balls throbbed with pain as my cock enjoyed the stroking. This was a good mind fuck.
Mistress went back to using the Hitachi on me and stroking my cock to keep me on the edge. I am not kidding when I write this. This was the best edging experience of my life. Instead of going up to the edge and back, she just kept me right at the top of the sensation. As great as it was it was also terrible. I was straining every muscle to try and cum. My body wanted to cum badly, but my submissive brain didn't want me to. My biological need to cum was battling my submissive brain. I was straining, begging her to both let me cum and also to not let me cum. I wanted her to hurt me worse. I wanted to beg her to stop. I was afraid I was going to safe word from this sensation and not physical pain. I wanted this heaven & hell sensation to last forever.
In the end Mistress coaxed the beginning of an orgasm from me. She stopped before I got the full effect, so in effect it was partially ruined. It was enough that I got some sub drop and used my safe word before anything else could happen.
Looking back to last night I have some takeaways.
- Again, best edging experience of my life. It kind of scares me how intense it felt. I would liken it to the forced multiple orgasms you see girls get in porn, as I had intense pleasure almost bordering on pain and it wouldn't stop. I could see myself getting literally exhausted if it had kept going.
- I am in pain, not from the beating but from straining my muscles during the tease. Especially my back muscles and my hip flexors. It was a great workout.
- While the rubber bands and beating hurt, I likely could have taken twice or three times as much. I really do want to be hurt until I'm mad and in tears and until I safe word.
- The ball hitting. This is the part that intrigues me the most. As much as I hate that feeling of having my testicles hurt, the sensation was undeniable. Adding stroking to it and it was a perfect heaven and hell torture. I'm reminded of when I first met Mistress and we were in a hotel for a Halloween event. She tied me to the bed, gagged me and beat the hell out of my balls. I get hard just thinking about it.
- I wish Mistress would have had an orgasm or 10, as the whole thing was pretty much about me. I was hoping she would have taken multiple orgasms for herself while I sat suffering in pain.
- I am very, very happy to see Mistress take control of me and put me in my place. I don't do well trying to be the bossy one or getting defensive. Last night was a good "reset" for me. I crave living in a Female Led Relationship with a good dose of Female Domination.
- We have another couple stressful months so I'd better behave before I end up beaten, bruised and in chastity, or worse, no D/s...
Saturday, October 3, 2015
An Epiphany
Yesterday I was working out and about half way through I felt as though I hit a wall. I almost quit working out, but I pushed through it. I'm doing a workout program that requires me to push my muscles to complete failure and then do it again. It kind of sucks. It's hard to do, and when I am doing it I sometimes wish I weren't. There are times I just don't want to work out and dread it, but I do it. During one particular exercise, my muscles hurt, I was shaking to do one more repetition and when I was done I was relieved. Then it hit me, this is how I feel about some D/s things I fantasize about.
Lately I have been writing about having Mistress do more extreme things to me. Beating me until I cry. Humiliating me in many different ways. Forcing me to eat my own cum. Using electricity on me. Raping my mouth until I choke. Locking me in chastity when I clearly don't want it. Denying my orgasms. Making me wear constrictive clothes at night. Feminizing me more and more. Putting me in a cage. Putting me in difficult or painful bondage positions. Bruising me or otherwise marking my body. Even piss play. The list goes on and on and on (because I'm a little sick in the head :-)
I realized that my wanting to do more extreme things isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's like working out in a way. When I work out I "hurt myself" in order to lift heavier weights the next time. I push myself so that I look better. I fatigue myself to have better physical stamina. I break myself down to build me up. I do all of these things in order to be stronger and better than I was the day before. As much as I hate climbing a massive hill on my bike or doing dead-lifts, I love it when I have pushed myself harder than I thought I could go.
The same goes with my darker D/s fantasies. I certainly would hate being spanked until I literally cried. I would fight it, I would be pissed off while it was happening, when it was over I would be proud. I would wear bruises with the same pride as I do when I have road rash from pushing myself too far on my mountain bike. I would look back and say "I did that". I would know I could do more the next time.
Just like I sometimes make myself nauseous with how hard I work out, I get through it. I imagine some of the more disgusting things I ask Mistress to do to me would make me nauseous but I know I would get through it. I dream of her breaking me down mentally and physically to build me up, just like I do with my muscles.
Mistress is very, very good to me. She treats me well. She indulges me on many occasions. I'm writing this more to communicate that it's OK to hurt me and push my boundaries in ways that people wouldn't understand. As a pervy guy with D/s DNA, pushing me past my perceived boundaries is essentially just a workout for my soul. I'm glad I have been able to identify why I ask for things that would be difficult for me. It's been nagging me.
Lately I have been writing about having Mistress do more extreme things to me. Beating me until I cry. Humiliating me in many different ways. Forcing me to eat my own cum. Using electricity on me. Raping my mouth until I choke. Locking me in chastity when I clearly don't want it. Denying my orgasms. Making me wear constrictive clothes at night. Feminizing me more and more. Putting me in a cage. Putting me in difficult or painful bondage positions. Bruising me or otherwise marking my body. Even piss play. The list goes on and on and on (because I'm a little sick in the head :-)
I realized that my wanting to do more extreme things isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's like working out in a way. When I work out I "hurt myself" in order to lift heavier weights the next time. I push myself so that I look better. I fatigue myself to have better physical stamina. I break myself down to build me up. I do all of these things in order to be stronger and better than I was the day before. As much as I hate climbing a massive hill on my bike or doing dead-lifts, I love it when I have pushed myself harder than I thought I could go.
The same goes with my darker D/s fantasies. I certainly would hate being spanked until I literally cried. I would fight it, I would be pissed off while it was happening, when it was over I would be proud. I would wear bruises with the same pride as I do when I have road rash from pushing myself too far on my mountain bike. I would look back and say "I did that". I would know I could do more the next time.
Just like I sometimes make myself nauseous with how hard I work out, I get through it. I imagine some of the more disgusting things I ask Mistress to do to me would make me nauseous but I know I would get through it. I dream of her breaking me down mentally and physically to build me up, just like I do with my muscles.
Mistress is very, very good to me. She treats me well. She indulges me on many occasions. I'm writing this more to communicate that it's OK to hurt me and push my boundaries in ways that people wouldn't understand. As a pervy guy with D/s DNA, pushing me past my perceived boundaries is essentially just a workout for my soul. I'm glad I have been able to identify why I ask for things that would be difficult for me. It's been nagging me.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
2nd day in a row
Normally I shave my body twice a week (on Friday's and Monday's), however Mistress and I have a busy weekend coming up. After Mistress left for work I decided to shave a day early since I didn't know when I would get a chance to. After seeing my painted toenails all week and feeling my fingernails as well as wearing those lacy leggings yesterday, I'm apparently in a mood. So today, with my freshly shaved legs I decided to wear pantyhose all day at work. The silky smoothness along with my legs being shaved are an extra bonus. I'm half thinking I could cum from just the feeling. It's going to be a naughty thought day!
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