A recap of last night's scene

Mistress and I have had a TON going on lately.  Not only has our time to be intimate been reduced, we've had a lot of work to do and stress has been higher than normal.  With increased stress I have been a little bit snippy lately.  I have had a bad tone to my voice and for lack of a better term, I have talked down to Mistress.  I hate it when I get this way.  It's one reason my marriage failed so I know I have some work to do.  I catch myself getting frustrated and have a lot self-talk about how it's not anything she is doing, but it's about how I react.  Mistress took the high road and gave me a session last night to try and deal with my attitude.  Here is my recollection.

During the last day or so Mistress had been hinting that I'd better watch myself or she was going to do something about my attitude.  Her talk escalated into talking about a sever edging session with a good beating.  Part intrigued me and part scared me especially with all of my talk about wanting her to hurt me beyond what I want.  When we got home early from a party she had me get the bed ready as well as myself.  We use some very simple straps that go under the bed, but they hold me as strong as any 4 poster bed would.  I put on my pink wrist and ankle restraints, put some towels down and put some femdom porn on the bedroom TV.  Mistress had me blindfold myself  and slide some big rubber bands around my upper thighs while she went around the bed securing my limbs to the 4 corners of the bed.  I was spread out and couldn't move.  Mistress teased my cock some and talked to me about my attitude.

Now here is where my story may jump around and get fuzzy.  I had a slight buzz going on from alcohol at the party and a few drinks of wine I had when we got some.  Being tied up always makes my mind a little mushy and the endorphins I had running through me made me lose a sense of time.

As Mistress proceeded to talk to me about my attitude, she would alternate between snapping the rubber bands around my upper thighs and stroking my cock.  I know I am wrong and had no qualms about admitting it.  She mentioned that to help me remember our talk I would be going back into chastity for a week on Monday morning.  As much as I don't want that to happen, I also think it will be good for us.  It will remind me that Mistress has full control over me and she can do what she wants.  I also hope that by me willfully and enthusiastically accepting it, it will empower her to be crueler to me.

Mistress put something in my mouth.  It was her wet fingers.  It was heavenly.  I so wanted her to keep feeding me her pussy juices.  I longed for her to put her dirty panties under my nose.  I wanted that so much I played a video with a Mistress doing just that.

 

Mistress also put her strapon in my ass.  She didn't wear it, but she got it in my ass (I am guessing about half way).  It has been a few months since I had something in my ass.  As much as I hate to admit it, it was heavenly.  While I occasionally wear a butt plug this was much better.  Being close to her, having her cock in my ass while stroking my cock was a perfect cocktail of lust.  I wanted her to rape my ass at that point, but didn't tell her so.  She edged me close enough that the dildo was able to milk some cum out of my cock.  I imagined her fucking my ass to get me to use my safe word.  Maybe we will have to get the fucking machine out of storage to make that happen some day.

Still during all of this Mistress would snap the rubber bands or hit me with some other device.  I kept begging her to hurt me until I used my safe word.  She kept bringing me to the edge over and over again, expertly not letting me get too close.  It was like she had gotten much better at edging me.

At one point during the scene, Mistress used a device on my balls to try and get me to safe word.  She expertly hit one testicle.  The sensation was of a smack to the scrotum which hurt, but went away, but then also a deep throbbing pain in my testicle.  Out of everything she had done to me, this was the most likely to get me to safe word, but I was resolute that she would have to do it to me 10 or more times to get me to crack.  After she hit my ball she stroked my cock.  The sensation was something very unique.  While my ball hurt in a bad way, the stroking felt amazing, but at the same time agonizing.  As I got closer to the edge, my testicle would hurt more.  It was a perfect mind fuck as I wanted her to keep stroking but the pain in my ball made me want her to stop.

Mistress kept up her teasing.  She used the Hitachi under my balls and stocked my cock.  She would bring me to the edge so quickly and so strongly that I thought I would cum.  Mistress would remove her hand but press the Hitachi under my perineum which would just keep me on the edge.  She would touch my cock, but I don't know how she was doing it as the buzzing from the Hitachi overrode how I could feel things.

Mistress stopped this for a bit and hit my other testicle.  This one hurt just like the first, but it also brought back the pain from the first hit.  As she stroked my cock , both of my balls throbbed with pain as my cock enjoyed the stroking.  This was a good mind fuck.

Mistress went back to using the Hitachi on me and stroking my cock to keep me on the edge.  I am not kidding when I write this.  This was the best edging experience of my life.  Instead of going up to the edge and back, she just kept me right at the top of the sensation.  As great as it was it was also terrible.  I was straining every muscle to try and cum.  My body wanted to cum badly, but my submissive brain didn't want me to.  My biological need to cum was battling my submissive brain.  I was straining, begging her to both let me cum and also to not let me cum.  I wanted her to hurt me worse.  I wanted to beg her to stop.  I was afraid I was going to safe word from this sensation and not physical pain.  I wanted this heaven & hell sensation to last forever.

In the end Mistress coaxed the beginning of an orgasm from me.  She stopped before I got the full effect, so in effect it was partially ruined.  It was enough that I got some sub drop and used my safe word before anything else could happen.

Looking back to last night I have some takeaways.

• Again, best edging experience of my life.  It kind of scares me how intense it felt.  I would liken it to the forced multiple orgasms you see girls get in porn, as I had intense pleasure almost bordering on pain and it wouldn't stop.  I could see myself getting literally exhausted if it had kept going.
• I am in pain, not from the beating but from straining my muscles during the tease.  Especially my back muscles and my hip flexors. It was a great workout.
• While the rubber bands and beating hurt, I likely could have taken twice or three times as much.  I really do want to be hurt until I'm mad and in tears and until I safe word.    
• The ball hitting.  This is the part that intrigues me the most.  As much as I hate that feeling of having my testicles hurt, the sensation was undeniable.  Adding stroking to it and it was a perfect heaven and hell torture.  I'm reminded of when I first met Mistress and we were in a hotel for a Halloween event.  She tied me to the bed, gagged me and beat the hell out of my balls.  I get hard just thinking about it.
• I wish Mistress would have had an orgasm or 10, as the whole thing was pretty much about me.  I was hoping she would have taken multiple orgasms for herself while I sat suffering in pain.
• I am very, very happy to see Mistress take control of me and put me in my place.  I don't do well trying to be the bossy one or getting defensive.  Last night was a good "reset" for me.  I crave living in a Female Led Relationship with a good dose of Female Domination.
• We have another couple stressful months so I'd better behave before I end up beaten, bruised and in chastity, or worse, no D/s...       

I love my Mistress!        

Today's Edge - 3 Fantasies

Today Mistress ordered me into a camisole, tight leggings at work as well as a butt plug.  Additionally I was ordered to edge for 30 minutes.  It's been some time since I have edged, and normally I would do it before getting ready for work.  Due to today's schedule I edged while wearing the ordered items as well as a butt plug that sits right on my prostate.

I edged to several thoughts.

The first was having a cathartic tease session.  The first would be a nasty messy edging session.  Mistress would have me tied down tightly and would be bringing me to the edge time and again.  Lube would be liberal, and she would also be making a bigger mess by cumming all over me.  She might gag with dirty cum filled panties, a dildo gag or nothing.  The goal would be to keep me frustrated and as horny as possible.  I actually fantasized about not any orgasm, but multiple leaks from my cock and then being ordered to clean up and get dressed.

The 2nd would be a cathartic discipline session.  Not because I need to be punished, but I'm yearning to release a ton of endorphins as well as feel helpless.  I imagine a small warm up and then a slow severe beating. In my fantasy Mistress wouldn't stop before I safeworded.  Using a safeword would not mean the beating would end, it would just mean that I need it to go at least that far.  She would beat my body.  She would beat my cock and balls.  She would torture my nipples with clamps, sharp items, and make them an angry red color.  She would slap my face or rape my mouth with a dildo.  My breathing would be restricted.  In my fantasy, I want to surrender completely.  It might even be fun to record it or do it live online.  I may or may not get any relief from Mistress.

Lastly, I imagined a total forced feminization session.  Mistress would take the role of a man or a dominant lesbian and I would be dressed as my alter ego Sophia.  I would be locked in chastity to make my cock be a non factor.  I would be forced to suck Mistress' cock, to impale myself on her cock, and to take her cock inside me.  The only thing sexual I would get would be my lipstick covered mouth or my sissy pussy.  Mistress would have me lick and suck her pussy, fuck her with her glass dildo or for an extra mind fuck I would have to fuck her while wearing a strap-on.  I would be fucking her while my locked cock and balls swing uselessly between my legs.  In this fantasy I would not have an orgasm unless it was from penetration and I would have to stay in femme clothes until told otherwise.

Since I was edging with my prostate massager in, I was very quick to edge.  I would stop, and as my cock spasmed, the plug would spasm against my prostate, and I would dribble a little.  It reminded me of a few times when I would edge, and then I would fuck myself with the plug while cum would dribble out of my cock.  It's a pretty efficient way of draining the balls with nothing even close to an orgasm.  

Today's edge

I edges for just a couple minutes this morning.  I planned edge the full 10 minutes later, so my whole day was thinking about what I could egde to later.  While I was working out the dungeon was 10 feet away.  My mind kept drifting to thoughts of the dungeon.  The only thing I could think of was a good long beating.  My mind was drifting to the thought of a cathartic beating.  One that would hurt like hell, but would release an enormous amount of endorphins.  Then I thought about another way Mistress could hurt me without me being face down.  I have recently been thinking of being tied up on the bed in my normal spread-eagle position.  One difference this time is I would have tied my balls into a tight package.  There would be a loop that Mistress could hook to one of the bondage straps at the bottom of the bed in the middle.  She could then pull the tightening strap to anchor me to the bottom of the bed.  This tight package of testicles could then be tortured with little effort.  Having the balls tied up makes them much more sensitive as well keeping them immobile and under pressure.  Instead of a hard slap, a small flick or tap would be 10-50 times more powerful.  Consecutive light tapping quickly ramps up to excruciating pain, and since it is a light hit, damage is rare. There is also the benefit that if my bod is writhing and struggling, my balls would stay in just one place.  Stupid libido.

Stockings and Spankings

Yesterday Mistress had me wear stockings under my work clothes.  Initially I was planning on wearing pantyhose as they are easier to deal with, but then I realized she specified stockings.  If I have learned anything over the last 3 years is to do more, not less when she asks me to do something like this.  My first instinct was to go for black ones that fit great, but then the submissive sluttiness that my brain is currently producing had other things in mind.  I chose a pair of white and pink panties that have built in garters.  To that I added pink stockings to attach to the garters.  As much as garters and stockings can be a pain, there is no mistaking their ability to keep reminding you of their existence.  Pantyhose can be ignored somewhat, but I was constantly reminded of the tightness of these particular stockings.  I was reminded that they stopped at mid thigh.  I was reminded of the garters not only with every step I took, but also every time I sat down.  I could see the straps pushing through my pants.  In short there was no escaping the mind fuck of wearing them  I was proud to take a picture for MBB as requested and humiliated at the same time.  I loved it.

I was planning on edging to something based on the above post, but before I could I stumbled across this post in my blog list.  I edged a good 30+ times reading it as it was so hot (and a little scary)

View on her blog or see below.  http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/09/sex-with-my-husband.html?zx=f3a59ca12de15b40

Sex with my husband

Yesterday night, watching X-Factor on TV at night with my husband. After the show... SEX. Not fantasy or fiction this time. The real thing. This is what sex is like between me and my husband (sometimes... and embellished with some things I wish I would have said). You will get a good general idea, however. It isn't exactly what you might call Vanilla...

Me: Go upstairs and get into your panties, I want to fuck you tonight.
Him: [says nothing... gets a gleam in his eye... does as he is told]

I give him a few minutes and then walk slowly upstairs. david is naked except for a pair of sheer pink panties. He has chosen the panties from a drawerfull we keep for him for this purpose. He has chosen to put his nose in the corner and wait for me like that. I can totally see his ass and ass crack through his sheer panties. I get an immediate, visceral urge to beat that ass.

Me: Lie on the bed, ass high across the pillows, you're getting a beating, bitch.
Him: [says nothing... does as he is told... him cornering himself meant he wanted a beating tonight before his fucking]

We have four pillows on the bed, he piled two of them on the left side of the bed, in the middle, and lay across them submissively, pantied ass nice and high. He is presented like an offering. He has asked for this beating, so he will receive it on the spot where nature intended slutty submissive husbands to catch their beatings: ass and thighs.

I feel excited watching him do this for me. I can feel my own panties dampening. I open the bedside drawer and pull out my strap. He groans in a sexy way, knowing what is coming.

Me: You're getting a beating now. You want to know why? Because you're a man who wants to be dressed in panties and fucked like a woman. So you want to act like a submissive little cunt? I'll beat you like a submissive little cunt. Simple math, baby. [He likes when I talk dirty to him... he tells me any bad words one might think of applying to a woman can be safely applied to him!]

I whip the strap down hard low across his pantied ass cheeks, right at the panty line. He groans. I do it four more times just like that. His wiggles and moans turn me on even more.

I reach over and lower his panties to just below his cheeks. No reason this bitch will get to keep her panties up for her beating. Part of her humiliation will be to display her anus during her spanking. I am rewarded with a bird's eye view of my husband's now bare and totally exposed asshole. He's getting a fucking in there later and he knows it. No reason I shouldn't see it now.

I give him five more. I target two of them to wrap around between his ass cheeks, near his sensitive little puckered hole.

I put away the strap. His ass is nicely red and marked in places. I reach under my bed to get the riding crop.

Me: Reach behind you and pull those cheeks apart for me.
Him: [says nothing... does as he is told]

Me: Pull them apart harder. Really reach in there. Pull harder. I mean it.
Him: yes ma'am [as he struggles to obey me]

His little boy hole is gaping open now. I take my crop, crouch down a little to get the right angle, and whip the tip down onto his hole. He half moans half ouches. I repeat this over and over again. I am fascinated by the clenching and unclenching and puckering of his hole as I whip it.

As I whip, he loses the grasp of his cheeks, but immediately scrambles to reaffirm it. I love watching him in pain from the whipping, but still submissively pulling his cheeks wide apart for me over and over again in order to submit to my painful stroking. Paradoxically, the worse the whipping, the wider he pulls. Seeing him pulling himself wide for me, waiting for the next whipping stroke, I'm thinking I want to fuck that ass.

I put the crop down.

Me: Are you going to let me fuck you in the ass?
Him: yes ma'am
Me: I'm using Adam, you know that don't you? [Adam is my biggest dildo - realistic looking - large]
Him: yes ma'am.
Me: Are you going to be my little ass bitch, tonight, huh?
Him: oh yes ma'am
Me: Are you going to take it like a woman for me?
Him: yes ma'am
Me: I'm 'gonna flip you over, raise you legs nice and high, and take you missionary style. Will that make you feel like a proper woman, baby?
Him: yes ma'am
Me: Is your ass beaten enough?
Him: yes ma'am
Me: I don't think so. Not yet anyways. Put your hands in front of you and hang on.

david releases his deathgrip on his ass cheeks and puts his hands in front of him. He clutches the covers, knowing what is coming. Knowing that quite a lot may still be coming.

I open the drawer and take out the little souvenir hardwood paddle. I put my left knee up on the bed. I put my left hand down on the small of his back. With my right I pull his lowered panties right down to his knees. Then I start paddling his ass. I count out two hundred strokes to myself in my head. Each one hard and stinging. I get to watch his ass redden to a deep crimson as his knuckles whiten grabbing the bed covers for dear life. About half way through his paddling I get what I want.

Him: No please! No! No more! Please! It hurts!

This is the part where I start to really get excited. I love his begging. I love his begging when I can see the damage I'm doing to his ass! I can feel the sweat on his lower back. I can smell it. I can watch his legs convulse, especially as I paddle the backs of his thighs. Targeting the insides of his thighs when his legs inadvertently spread which makes him clutch them together again. The next time they part, which they do, he gets a harsher lesson. A light paddle stroke to the undersides of his genitals. A gurgling scream and he shuts his legs tightly together. They do not come apart again. Ha Ha! I finish off the padlding to his ass. Hard and fast. His reactions are genuine. My man cries little tears.

I leave him there, in his little puddle of tears. I strip down to just my panties. They are kind of wet. I pull on the strap-on harness over them. I have a big dick now!

Me: Lie on your back, one pillow under your hips.
Him: [says nothing... does as he is told]

I pick up his legs by his ankles and hold them high. I pull the panties up to around his ankles. I stretch them and loop them around his ankles. His ass is really, really red. Dark cherry red.

Me: Hold your legs up like that.
Him: [he holds them up high... like a little slut should]

I walk towards his head, I make him turn and face me. I spread my legs and crouch down so that my cock is at his mouth level. I push towards him, he moves his face to the very edge of the bed and takes me into his mouth. I grab his head and face fuck my little whore. I love the sounds his mouth makes as I face fuck him. Little gurgling sounds, mixed in with the occasional gagging sound when I "accidentally" go too deep.

He tries to steer me into his cheek. I know his little tricks. I grab him by the throat and squeeze. "OPEN" I tell him. He gets Adam down his throat for his troubles. I make him gag no fewer than five times for his impertinence, until I am satisfied he has learned his lesson. This bitch will learn to deep throat me. By the time I pull out there are more tears in his eyes and he is slobbering like crazy.

Sometime during that intense face fucking he apparently got the idea it was ok to disobey me and drop his feet back down to the bed.

Me: Did I say you could drop your feet?
Him: [he quickly raises his legs again]
Me: Oh no! You need a lesson. [I say as I pick up my paddle again]
Him: No! Please! No More! Please!!!

But there is more. I push down on the backs of his thighs, practically doubling him over. His genitals, his asshole, his deep red ass, and his light red thighs are presented to me in a perfect attitude for a childish diaper position punishment.

I paddle him again. He's lucky he's not getting the strap, but I am feeling generous. I know it hurts him a hell of a lot more when his skin is stretched and tight over his ass and thighs, as it is in this position. But he does still have to learn to not lower his legs during his face fucking. I make sure he learns that lesson. I make sure he learns to obey.

I especially enjoy targeting the relatively virgin insides of his ass crack when he is in this position. I am especially excited spanking him while wearing Adam. It's a big glorious erect cock sticking out in front of me! I make sure to brush his flanks with it as I spank. His own cock is shrivelled pathetically. No competition for Adam at all (nor even at the "best of times" for that matter).

Me: Now hold that fucking pose, you little cunt! If you drop your legs again I'll belt whip your ass in that position until you can't cry anymore! [I grab his cock and balls and roughly pull them out between his legs, so they are sticking out behind him]. And that whipping will be balls out, do you understand me?
Him: Yes Ma'am!

I have great aim, but a balls out whipping terrifies the fuck out of him. I move progressively closer until he can feel the wind whipping at his balls. Haven't missed yet and don't plan to. He still gets scared for some reason, though.

I get the lube. I lube up Adam. Then I lube up his asshole. He is holding his legs nice and high for me! I dribble lube onto his genitals, and I rub some into them as well.

Then I hop up on the bed kneeling in front of him. I slide forward until the tip of my Adam touches his asshole. Then I start gently pushing in. I need to change the angle a couple of times, but then I have it right, and I start slowly exerting the appropriate pressure. david "ows" and complains, but slowly, slowly he starts opening up for me, like a flower, as I keep the pressure on. He knows it goes easier for him if he presses out, as if performing a bowel movement. I can see him straining to do that from the look on his face. Magically he opens up and I pop in. "Ow ow ow Ow" he says, but I hold my ground patiently until the cramping dies down. Then I slowly start fucking my little bitch.

I pull his hips into me as I rock back and forth, fucking his ass. His legs are high with his panties wrapped around his ankles. That is his view: his raised legs and his panties banded around his ankles. He also sees me: my face, my bare breasts, my flat tummy, as I fuck him, slowly and deliberately.

As the fucking proceeds I grab his lubed up cock and balls and rub them gently. I rub my cock in and out of him, scraping by his prostate gently, gently, as I rub up and down the length of his now rigidly erect cock. He moans. What a little slut I have on my hands! Tramp! Whore!

Me: Are you going to squirt for me, baby? Squirt as I rub your clitty and fuck your ass, huh baby?
Him: yeah! oh yeah!
Me: You know that after you squirt I'm going to scoop it up and put it in your mouth and make you swallow every last drop, don't you?
Him: yes
Me: Will you like that? Will you like being a little cum bucket for me?
Him: YES, PLEASE!

I fuck gently and rub his cock hard and I get a nice big juicy squirting for my trouble. I aim his cock towards his face. The first bit gets to his chin, the next ones dribble on his chest and tummy.

I pull out slowly, wrapping Adam in paper towels I had handy and taking my harness off carefully.

Me: Keep holding you legs up, baby, you're a bit messy back there.

That always embarrasses him, knowing that! I have some baby wipes in the dresser drawer, bought specifically for this purpose. I clean him like a baby and wrap the soiled wipes into the paper towels.

When he is clean, I move up to his chest and I use my hands to scoop up the cum and push it into his eager mouth. He licks and sucks my fingers dry, and swallows it all down. I tell him to clean my Adam thoroughly and to take a shower. He is to be quick about, he has pussy and ass licking duties waiting for him immediately upon his return!

Today's Edge - Vacuum Bed

This morning I edge to the thought of being in our vacuum bed.  The vacuum bed is unique in that you aren't tied up, but you can't move a muscle either.  I imagine it would be like being drugged so you can't move a muscle, but you are aware of everything.  I fantasized about tying my balls in a neat little package before getting in the bed.  I would then get in and position my legs tight together with my balls on top of my thighs.  My hands would be at my side and slightly under me to keep my body weight on them and to keep my profile thinner.  MBB would then turn on the bed and let it crush me before turning it off (our bed holds air very well so a vacuum doesn't need to keep running).  She would then block off my breathing with a finger on the air tube and make me squirm for air.  She might take a drink of wine and spit some down the breathing tube for me to drink.  I then fantasized about her smacking me in the balls and there would be nothing I could do about it.  I also thought about her using the Venus 2000 on me to tease me, but realized that wouldn't work for my final nasty thought.  I thought about MBB either putting a condom on my cock, and then she would ride my cock until I came inside her.  Then I would hear her next idea.  She would tell me she is going to scoop all of my cum out of her pussy and feed it to me down the tube.  There would be nothing I could do to stop it.  I also imagined her getting me to cum in a condom and feeding that to me down the tube.  I would be so pissed off, but for some reason that idea gets me so hot.

Today's Edge - Helpless

I haven't been able to edge as much lately, but did today.  This had me thinking about the helplessness of his situation.  I am not sure why being completely helpless makes me so hot.

Lessons Learned

Friday night Miss Bossy Bitch tied me to our bed as promised.  She tied me about as tight as I have ever been tied.  While I was tied, she sucked my cock, and gave me an amazing teasing hand job.  In between strokes she would smack my balls with some sort of implement.  I hate my balls being smacked, but because I am tied down and there is nothing I can do about it, I love it.  As part of the torture, MBB asked me lots of questions and made lot of suggestions.

Some of the suggestions that came out (that I remember) were as follows...

• I should wear the ones I have and buy some additional female workout clothes to work out in (including sports bras - humiliating).  This would reinforce my working out for my Mistress, especially looking in the mirror.  I noticed Target had some cute inexpensive workout clothes in all sizes.
• MBB is planning on having me wear a butt plug when we go out.  I have rarely worn a plug in her presence so I am sure that would be a nice mind fuck.
• More focus on me wearing feminine clothes.
• She plans on taking more control over me.
• She is planning on including chastity in as part of that control.
• I still need to be punished for past transgressions.  Side note, I still feel that punishments (earned or for maintenance) are a good way to keep the dynamic real.  It sets the hierarchy in our relationship and reinforces our positions.

Now as far as the title of this post, Lessons Learned, This is what I have learned in the last few years.  While I have a lot in my mind about how a female led relationship should work, it really doesn't matter.  Obviously D/s is something I need, but it's not something MBB has to do for me.  In reality if I want her to dominate me I have to do it on her terms and without fail.  MBB has taught me that forcing my ideas on her only keeps me  from what I need.  She has taught me that no D/s is worse than having to do things I may not want to do.  In fact I have learned I would rather do 10 D/s things that I dislike than go too long without any D/s.  I have learned that if MBB wants me in chastity full time, and it turns her on and we get to play more, then I need to be in chastity full time.  I need to do whatever she wants me to do if I plan on getting my D/s needs met.  At the end of the day, that is what submission is all about.  

As far as my edging today, I didn't edge about any fantasy.  I edged about the topic above.  I edged thinking about D/s on MBB terms and not mine.  Needless to say I got to the edge much quicker. I even leaked some...

I love you Miss Bossy!

Breath Play

This morning I woke up in my nighty and quickly got a hard on while contemplating that I have to wear a nighty all week.  I woke up a few times during the night and had to readjust my nighty.  It's very hard to not think nasty thoughts when you are a guy sleeping in a nighty at your Mistress' command.

While edging this morning I wanted to stray from my usual edging material and I fantasized about breath play. There is something so amazingly hot about the control you give someone when they are in control of your breathing.  There are also several ways to do breath play.  From the instant panic you can create by covering a mouth and nose on an exhale, to the long and torturous way of restricting the breathing so they can still get air, but it;s a lot of work to stay focused and breathe slow enough to not panic.  Add in some bondage and some pain and/or pleasure and you have created an endorphin rush that is hard to beat.

My favorite breath control is having a plastic bag placed over my head and secured with a large rubber band.  The bag is large enough to allow a lot of time before panic sets in, and the rubber band keeps it in place until Mistress opens the bag.  The rubber band allows the bag to be open and closed easily without having to be redone like I see when people tape the bag.  From there some teasing makes the experience even better.  As I lose oxygen I get all sub-spacy.  The more oxygen I lose, the less stimulation I need on my cock to keep me close to the edge.  To be taken to panic several times all while being stimulated is so good I cannot put it into words.  Knowing I can't remove the bag due to my hands being restrained is the ultimate power exchange in my mind.

Today's edge had me thinking of this as well as some things I haven't yet tried.  Here are some of the things I edged to.

• Being smothered by my Mistress' pussy while having my balls busted.  I would be fighting for every breath while I screamed into her pussy.  
• Being restrained in a bath tub and forced to keep my head below water to have my cock stroked.  When I come up for air on my own, my cock is ignored.  I can only imagine what would happen when I was ready to cum.
• Being beat while bagged.  The pain would either get worse or better depending on the oxygen level in the bag
• Vacuum bed breath play.  The vacuum bag is so tight, breath play is even scarier.
• Water boarding or at least trying to breathe through a wet towel.
• Super tight collar making every breath difficult.
• Noose Play or a belt around the neck.  I love the pictures of people having to decide between the cramp in their tippy toes or breathing.
• Cutting off blood to the brain vie the arteries in the neck.
• Being put into a stress position where breathing is one of the choices (last picture below)
• My mouth duct taped shut and and nose pinched or clamped over and over.
• Kissing while being bagged

*** Do not ever do breath play by yourself.  No one is there to help when you mess up and you will eventually mess up.

Ball Beating

Mistress made me cum on Sunday and although it was a full orgasm, I am on 10 again.  After shaving my body yesterday I painted my toenails.  I don't think Mistress would have made me as it's so close to summer barefoot weather.  I am in such a slutty mood right now, I wanted to have pretty pink toenails.

I saw the video below yesterday and couldn't get it out of my mind.  The best I can tell is the man is tied face down in the bed.  If he's not tied down, I don't know how on earth he isn't squirming more.  His balls are bound into a tight package without being too tight.  His cock is forced between is legs and is pointing toward his feet.  His Mistress starts out with the Hitachi on his cock head and then immediately starts hitting him in the balls with her riding crop.  While the hitting doesn't look too hard I know I would be twice as loud and squirmy as this guy.  Now the real evil thing is the Hitachi gets him off in about 90 seconds and she doesn't stop.  She continues to beat his balls and occasionally his cock for another 6 minutes.  Since he has just cum, there is no arousal helping him with the pain.  Everything is much more sensitive and not in a good way.  You can hear him choke a little on his own spit due to the pain.  Now while watching this, I have a raging hard on.  I would be edging to this right now if I had some privacy.  While it turns me on, I can also feel a knot in my stomach knowing just how much this would hurt and how much it would suck.  I am sure this guy would have some bruising on his balls.  That is so hot...

This is a perfect example of something that I would hate while it happened and then once I got over the shock and possibly anger, I would fantasize about it for the rest of my life.  The pure loss of control, the wanting it to stop and it not stopping makes my head spin in subspace.

Try this link here - http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=wFPXF-S564-