Submitting

This morning I am wearing pink yoga pants and a white fuzzy sweatshirt that is long enough to be worn as a very short skirt.  Mistress chose them for me last night to wear.  Putting them on this morning along with a nice spray of perfume has me sitting at my desk with a nice little sub-spacey buzz.  I love it when she chooses my attire or makes me dress and/or wear feminine items.

The other day, I took the cane from the dungeon storage closet and placed it on the bed in our bedroom before work.  It was where I left it when I came home from work so I moved it to a less obvious place.  I wasn't sure how serious Mistress was about having the cane readily available for her use on me.  Ever since then she keeps bringing it up so I am fairly certain I will soon be subjected an almost daily caning.  I'd like to say that it frightens me, but my cock is hard.  It's hard, not because I want to be spanked, but because I want her to wield her power over me, in all aspects of my life.

This last paragraph I'm calling my encouragement paragraph.  It's easy to doubt one's self playing in the D/s dynamic, especially the female led dynamic.  I want to let Mistress know that it't still very OK with me to keep me locked in chastity, collared, denied, and selfishly used for her pleasure.  It's OK to make sure I am doing all the chores she doesn't want to do, to keep me locked in the cage, to force me to do things I don't want to do.  It's OK to severely punish me for being disrespectful, to humiliate me, to have me serve you in any way you can dream up.  Don't worry about going too far or pushing me too hard.  We are a long way from my limits.  I just want you to to feel confident with your power over me.  I also want you to feel confident that I am here to protect you and love you as are my Queen.   

 

What Pillow Talk Escalates To In My Mind

Last night at bedtime Mistress has fondling my balls as we had some pillow talk.  As she teased my balls, her cock grew harder in it's cock cage, straining for release.  I got worked up quickly.  While the physical stimulation certainly got me hot, it was the verbal stimulation that really got me going.

Mistress mentioned that she needed to start picking out my outfits each night before bed.  I can only hope that means she is interested in pushing me back toward my feminine side.  There is something deliciously humiliating about every little feminine thing she has me do.

She also mentioned that out of all the caning pictures I posted yesterday, that none of the men were tied up.  I did that to show how simple a daily maintenance spanking can be.  Mistress indicated that she thought if we did it without restraints that I would get hit once and then I would stop her.  I told her that it would obviously depend on how hard she hit me, but I would do my best to take it.  She then told me to bring the cane to the bedroom the next day.  Uh-oh!

When Mistress decides to start this I will try as hard as I can to stay in place.  I believe that I could take a mild caning without needing to be restrained.  Mistress could add to my resolve to not move by threatening certain things if I moved.  Added strokes, starting over, corner time, cage time, sitting on something sharp, etc.  I could imagine Mistress hitting me harder with the intent of making me move so she could further add to my torment.

Spiked mat to protect carpet from office chairs used for recently spanked butts

 
If I move too much, either because she just wants to make me move, or because I truly deserve a punishment, I can make it so that she can easily restraint me in 30-60 seconds.  A caning where I have no choice but to move as the fight or flight response kicks in.

Now we haven't played with the cane very much so I hope we ease into this so that it becomes a growing experience for us both.  I am very excited to have Mistress feel super confident in doling out a proper caning.

Here are a few pictures of more extreme caning scenes where the subject has to be tied down.  These are not even close to some totally brutal ones I found.  After those are some fun infographics on spanking in general.       

Yearning to be used

Mistress didn't use me this weekend.  We worked a bit too much and had other stuff going on, so the timing wasn't exactly great.  That doesn't mean that I wasn't ready, willing and able.  I fantasized about being directed to the bedroom to prepare a session for her pleasure.  Blinds draw, candles lit, towels down, a few toys out.  I would stay locked in my chastity device.  Whether I was dressed or not would depend on how Mistress was feeling. I would use my fingers, mouth, tongue and toys to give her as many orgasms as she wanted.  She may or may not tell me about how this is my new life.  Serving her sexually without any regard for my sexual pleasure.  She would tell me that her new goal is to condition my brain to equate her pleasure as my only reward.  At some point she would be spent, she would tell me that she was done with me and that I was to clean up and join her when I was finished cleaning up.  That is the fantasy that was going through my head all weekend.

That wasn't my only fantasy.  After 7 weeks with no orgasm and being in chastity the entire time, my mind is a blur of sexual thoughts and images.  Mistress smacking my balls, breath play, putting more and more bruises on my body, butt plugs, spending time in the cage, using the dildo gag on Mistress.  Getting my ass fucked with the electric butt plug. Going back to my feminization routine.  Painted nails.  Using the fucking machine on us both.  Mistress finding ways to use humiliation on me.  Nipple torture that makes my nipples hurt for days.  Panties, piss play, adding some protocols to our life., Smell training in addition to my perfume.  Being smothered by Mistress.  Being spit on.  Having the strap-on used on me and using the strap-on with Mistress when I am locked up.  Tasks, tasks and more tasks. Torture.  The list goes on and on.  My mind is a mess.

Lastly, there was a comment the other day from a slave that gets a daily maintenance spanking with a cane.  I can easily imagine implementing this in our life.  We have a cane that is perfect for something like this.  I can imagine how getting a caning every morning would set the tone for the day.  Sitting in my office chair with my ass burning from a dozen cane strokes.  Having bruises that never go away.  Trying to fall asleep at night. on a day I acted like a shit, knowing that the next morning will be brutal.  I googled the term, and I came up with a term I like better than a 'maintenance spanking'.   Another couple calls is a reassurance spanking.  Here is his definition. They’re disciplinary in style, but they’re not punishment. That’s why we decided on the term reassurance, because they’re intended to reassure her that I’m there to spank her when she needs, whether she actually needs it at that moment or not.

Regardless of what it's called, it's pretty hot to my submissive mind. 

       If you enjoy reading this blog, please leave a comment.  Mistress and I enjoy reading the comments, ideas and feedback from our audience.  I will reply to everyone as soon as I can. 

Used by Mistress

Last night, Mistress and I were lying in bed, chatting before falling asleep.  Mistress was teasing her cock in it's chastity device when she asked when I was last inside her.  I told her it was 4 weeks prior.  She continued to tease me while commenting on how she thinks it is best if I don't have an orgasm at least once a quarter.  If I went a whole year without an orgasm, would it make that much of a difference?  I mentioned how it might be hot to orgasm once a quarter, but when I am allowed to orgasm, I will be forced to orgasm many, many times.  Until I can't cum again.  Until I am squirming with tears in my eyes and begging to be locked be back up.  And then we would start the whole process over.

Found this hot quote

Mistress then told me to get a towel.  This usually means we are going to have sex and the towel is because she is a squirter.  I got 2 towels to be safe.  As I was getting the towels, Mistress made no moves to go get the key to my chastity device.  That's when I realized that this was going to be different.  I placed the towels underneath Mistress and she was now naked.  She told me to make her cum with my fingers.  I put my middle finger in Mistress' already wet pussy.  I quickly found her G-spot.  I slowly teased her as I didn't want her cumming too soon.  As I stroked her G-spot we continued to chat.  Mistress mentioned how I probably needed to spend some time in the cage, and as much as I dislike it, I told her she was right.  She told me that I have been a good boy and that's why I haven't been in the cage.  I suggested that an hour a week would be beneficial for us as it would reinforce the rules as well as our dynamic.  An hour a week to maintain my good-boy behavior.

I continued to stroke her G-spot, now with the intention of making her cum.  After a short while Mistress came with a mild squirt.  I thought for sure that she would have me continue, but she told me she was done with me.

This is the first time Mistress has done this and I found it to be incredibly hot.  Mistress had zero concern about my pleasure.  Not only did I continue to stay locked, I even kept my boxer briefs on.  Mistress didn't have to get the chastity key.  She didn't have to deal with me being on the edge too soon.  She didn't have to worry about me having an accidental release.  She didn't have to have my laying on top of her.  She was selfish and used me and I absolutely love it.  I am thrilled with where this can take us.  I love that my only job is to make sure she is pleased.  I love that I am here, only for her pleasure.  I love that Mistress can be sexually selfish.  I am in heaven this morning.

                

Randomness

As of today I have gone 51 days without an orgasm.  I am still 21 days short of my record of 72 days.  February 3rd will be my new record which I really hope to surpass.  Today is also my 49th day or 7th full week of being locked in chastity.  This is 20 days more than my previous record.  I see no reason this record can't be indefinite.  It's been 13 days since my cock has had any stimulation.  That was when Mistress tied me down and wonderfully tortured me.  And it's been 4 weeks since I have been inside of Mistress.

Last night Mistress indicated that I would be serving her in some capacity.  I don't care what it is or how it is.  Due to Mistress period, her having a cold of some sort and just life in general, it's been awhile since we have had any sexual intimacy.  I look forward to pleasing her in any way she desires without regard to my needs.  She deserves some orgasms!

Earlier this week I was reading one of my blogs in which a submissive was asking to play again with her Domme.  She asked to play, and halfheartedly asked for it to not be so painful.  The Domme essentially said that if they were to play again it was going to hurt more and for a longer period of time.  The concept turned me on quite a bit.  Escalating scenes until the sub used her safe word or truly asked for it to not be so painful.  I love the idea of my situation being escalated until I truly beg for mercy.  I want to be begging for Mistress to be nicer as opposed to me begging for her to be meaner.  

Lastly, I saw the picture below and it spoke to me.  I love the schoolgirl outfit.  It's a perfect balance of naughty and nice without being too fetishy.  The shoes and socks are not sexy, they skirt is bordering on being too short and the blouse is very modest.  I want this outfit. 

I love the idea of her having to write on the chalkboard, but I imaging having to fill the board with the phrase in small letters until the board is full.  It reminds me of my own childhood punishments in the classroom.  I can still smell the chalk.  I fantasize about when she is done writing the lines, that the 'teacher' has her bend over the desk. Her skirt is lifted to find a pair of very non-sexy, white cotton panties.  The panties are left up as this is a punishment, not a sexual act, and she receives 20 hard strokes of the cane for being such a slut.  Afterward she is sent to stand in the corner until detention is over.   Hmmmmm.    

Remote Control

I have mentioned that we have a remote control shocking dog collar that has been adapted to be locked around my cock and balls allowing Mistress to punish me at a distance.  It's a very simple device as in it only shocks and the levels have to be manually changed.

Yesterday I ran across a blog for a couple that is in a Female Led Relationship.  She uses a newer more advanced shocking collar.  This one has a function to beep and another function to vibrate. This is nice because it can be used to summon  slave or warn them, before actually shocking them.  It can be used as a real training device vs a punish only device.  The severity of the shock has 100 levels and can be changed on the remote.  They are rechargeable, waterproof and surprisingly inexpensive.

Mistress also has the ability to monitor my location 24/7 from her phone.  It's surprisingly hot to know that Mistress can keep tabs on me like that.

We also have security cameras in the house that can be moved around so that if Mistress wanted to she could keep close tabs on me.  Now that we both work form home the cameras aren't as much of a control device.

That brings me to remote control sex toys.  For years there have been cheaply made but expensive remote control sex toys.  These toys such as butt plugs, vibrating panties, and vibrating eggs were great in theory, but terrible in the real world.  They cost a lot of money, they were noisy, they didn't have great range and they tended to stop working very quickly.

That has all changed.  The latest versions of these toys are extremely well made.  They are rechargeable,  they are very quiet, and they can work at incredibly long distance so long as you have a smart phone.  I have seen them in the past and though they would be fun, but when I saw the video below, I realized all of the potential uses for toys like these.



The device above is called the Lovense Lush.  It's controlled by Bluetooth and an app from your phone.  You can control it manually, or you can use one of the many patterns.  There is also a library of over 5,000 patterns from other users.  The device can also be sound activated or synced to music.  Some of the devices can be synced so when one device moves, the other reacts.  The best part is that it can be used around the world since it syncs to your phone.  It's like text messaging a sex act.

They make many more devices.  A male masturbating sleeve, a more traditional vibrator, a prostate massager, a Hitachi style device, and a few more similar variations.     

I would love to tie Mistress down and edge her with the lush for as long as possible.  Lying next to her, and being able to drive her crazy.  I would love the same treatment with a butt plug or prostate massager in my ass.  This would be especially hot when I go out of town for work, or when when one of us leaves the house.  I think the funnest thing would be for us each to be wearing a device and for us to go out to dinner or a movie or shopping.  It would be a battle, with each of us trying to mess with the other person or even better giving the other person an orgasm in public.  Lastly, I could see the butt plug or prostate massager being used on me to summon me when Mistress wants something.

Has anyone used a device like this?

   


  

Random thoughts of an incredibly horny guy

The last couple days I wasn't feeling well, and with it my libido dropped quite a it.  Tuesday was my worst day and for a split second I had considered asking to be released from chastity, but I instantly knew that is not something I wanted.  Being locked in chastity when it's difficult and when I don't want it, is precisely when I need to be locked up.  That's when I really feel controlled.  Apparently this morning, I am feeling better as my libido came roaring back.

Yesterday was 6 weeks since my last orgasm and tomorrow will be 6 weeks straight that I have been locked in chastity.  Mistress is doing very well as far as keeping me locked up and not feeling any sort of pity for me.  I hope she is starting to see how good it is for me to be locked up at all times.  The other night she said '365 days bitch', in reference to my desire to be locked up 24/7/365.  Just her saying it and reminding me of it, made my cock get hard.

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Mistress has either started her period or will soon.  I had a standing order that whenever she was having her period I was to be locked in chastity.  Now that I am locked full time we need to come up with another reminder of her period.

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In just less than 4 weeks, I will need to go on a work trip.  I have created a way for me to be both locked in chastity and for my collar to be locked on even though I will be flying.  It will be the first time I will be locked in chastity while on a business trip and I am looking forward to it.

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Recently we watched a TV series and in it there were 4 big tough cowboys.  They came upon the hero of the show and a Native American boy.  They questioned the hero of the show as to his intentions and let him leave, but not before one of the cowboys spit on him.  The hero should have reacted, but knew that was exactly what they wanted.  He was emasculated and humiliated.  You can see these types of scenes in many movies and TV shows.  The common element is that a bully of some sort (male or female) does something mean to a person and the person has to suck it up.  The reason is twofold.  One is to assert their power over the other.  The 2nd is to get a reaction, so they can cause greater harm and feel justified with it.  The instigator in these scenes is a true mental sadist and you can see the pleasure they get from treating other this way.  Ever since seeing that scene I have fantasized about the concept in a D/s way.  I fantasize about Mistress spitting on me.  Either when I am tied up, or even worse if I wasn't tied up and was told to let the spit stay until it dried.  I think of the same thing with cum or other bodily fluids.  I think of Mistress shocking me with either the shocking dog collar or the Tazapper, not because of anything I have done, but to get a reaction and enforce her power over me.  Being locked in the cage for no reason or being made to stand in a corner or having to kneel 'just because' is a unique way to do this.  I love the sadistic cruelty in it and I love the idea of having to submit and suck it up.

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When I have been having my feminine fantasies, I have imagined more ways to be reminded of my feminine side.  I wear a masculine looking wedding ring, but have recently been thinking of a feminine wedding ring to wear around the house.  It's amazing how many feminine rings come in a size 10/11.

     
Mistress received a cheap necklace as a gift.  I tried it on yesterday and realize that in addition to it being a necklace, it can be connected in a way that it can be worn as a choker.  A very slutty choker.

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Since I am now locked in chastity and in my collar, I fantasize about other ways to make my body look 'owned'.  Nail polish is good on the nails, but not the skin.  Neither Mistress or I are tattoo people but I do fantasize about being permanently marked whether by tattoo, branding, another piercing, or scarring.  I doubt that will ever happen but I still fantasize about it.  We have some black henna dye that works pretty well.  Then there is always magic marker.

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Lastly, I don't have any reason where I MUST leave the house for nearly a month.  The ideas that go through my mind thinking of being a house slave for Mistress make my head spin.




If you enjoy reading this blog, please leave a comment.  Mistress and I enjoy reading the comments, ideas and feedback from our audience.  I will reply to everyone as soon as I can. 

The year in review

2017 was tough for me professionally and financially, but on the D/s side of things I was very fortunate.  As I was waking up this morning with Mistress cock straining against its chastity cage, I realized my kinky side had a lot to be thankful for.  Here is a rundown of my submissive 2017.

• I had only 21 orgasms in 2017.  This is a new record for me.  18-20 years ago when I traveled for a loving I came at least 2-3 times a day if not 4-5.  I would estimate I have 900-1000 orgasms per year back in my younger more sexually selfish days.

• I had zero orgasms in February, July and December.

• I had only one orgasm in March, September, and November.

• In May I had 6 orgasms or more than 25% of the whole year.

• I set a new record of 72 days straight with no orgasm.

•  I spent 103 days in chastity.  That beats my previous best year by more than a month.  That is far more than any year in my life.  It is also a great starting point to try for 365 days in 2018.

• I just no realized that I am now in the longest period of continuous chastity in my life at 37 days and counting.  My previous record was 28 days, 2 years ago around this same time of year.  I am very excited to find that out.

•  I was dressed in feminine attire more in 2017 than all of my previous years combined.  Not only was I dressed more, I wore perfume more, I wore heels more, I wore bras more, and I stayed dressed for entire days, not just a couple of hours.  2017 was not a record year for nighty wearing however.

• I embraced my feminine side.

• I embraced wearing a chastity device.

• I spent more hours locked in a cage than I ever have.  This is not pleasure at all, so accepting it has been good for my submissive development.

• Mistress has started using me for her sexual pleasure while not concerning herself with my pleasure.

In so many ways 2017 was a banner year for me in my submissive mind.  I am very fortunate to have a Mistress that accepts me for who I am and wants to help push me further.  So that being said, here are my submissive goals for 2018

• My #1 goal is to break my nasty attitude and demeaning manner when communicating with Mistress.  This part of me is the only part of my father I have in me.  It's part of who I am unfortunately.  It doesn't mean it can't be corrected.  I cannot break it by myself, so I have requested Mistress to do whatever it takes to help me make it go away.  We are coming up with a plan to help me, but I want to reassure her that she can do whatever it takes to break me of this nastiness. I need to fear the consequences.

• Fewer orgasms.  I think something in the 2-6 range would be good, although an entire year without one sounds very exciting.

• 365 days of chastity.  I don't know if this is possible, but it is something I am serious about making happen.

• Being collared 365 days.  This morning I locked my collar back on.  I will have a plan for being able to travel with my collar on as well.

• I would like to be dressed feminine much more, but it's been so long since I have been fully dressed than I am insecure about it and need Mistress to coerce me a bit.  It's not just dress either, just something to keep enforcing my feminine side.

• Becoming more of a servant to Mistress.  From serving her wine, to helping her bathe, I want to truly serve her like a servant in ancient Egypt would serve his Mistress.

• Being used by Mistress for sexual pleasure much more.

• Starting to play in some darker areas.  Exploring things like temporary banishment, public feminization, forced-bi, and cuckolding.  These last 2 are not something I want for real, but I do think being verbally taunted and threatened with them are kind of hot.  I love a good mind-fuck.

• Now that Mistress and I both work from home, Mistress can fully control me in ways she couldn't working from an office.

• To be more owned then ever before and for Mistress to be more pleased than ever before.   

In closing, I want to wish everyone a Happy New year and a prosperous 2018.  I'd also like to thank Mistress for a record breaking 2017!