a couple things

Yesterday Mistress had me wear a pink camisole and pink pantyhose.  The hose are actually leggings that are very tight and restrictive.  I was in a wonderful state of mind all day yesterday.

This is what I wore...

While I was wearing this with the camisole, it made we wish for a whole body suit.  I remembered I have a black full body like below.  If only I had a pink :-)

Today I edged to this video.  We have all of the tools to make this scene a reality.  I imagine it would be fun until I came, then the relentless ass fucking and the Venus 2000 still sucking my sensitive dick.  Sweet torture.

link to video below

http://precious-her.tumblr.com/post/50370689778/1-jeez-2-sweet-set-up-3-howd-he-last-so

Restraints and feminine undergarments

As I write this I have my large butt plug in for over 4 hours.  I put it in immediately when Mistress ordered me to.  4 hours is a long time and I knew it I waited I might not get it done.  I am feeling like such a slut today, I decided to work out with it in even though today was a day for squats.  I am in quite the mood now after all of that stimulation.

My mind has been pre-occupied with the idea of being restrained with cuffs and leg irons.  Inescapable without a key or bolt cutters, easy to lock myself in without the key.  To add to the humiliation I found some pink ones.

Some images I have in my mind.

On top of being restrained I can't get feminization thoughts out of my mind.  I blame it on the nighty each night.  I have found these hot items over the last couple days. 

Severe

As I become more comfortable in accepting my submission and letting go of control, I can't help but think of the more severe aspects of D/s.  Some of the pictures I have seen online recently have really grabbed my attention.  Some of the pictures below scare the shit out of me, but at the same time I wish I was in them.  This is what I edged to this morning.

This 1st video is over 40 minutes long.  It is the type of caning I want to try sometime.  It's long, it looks insanely painful at times, but she really works with him to get him through it.  I would LOVE to be as bruised as he is at the end.  I can only imagine how wet my Mistress would get.  I edited it from the original 40+ minutes to something shorter to give an idea.

Original video here http://femdom-fetish-tube.com/video/3669/catarina.html

Edited version below.

Here are some other severe things I know I would hate at the time, but would reminisce about later.  I arranged the pictures below form most scariest to least scariest.

He is begging her not to shock his nipple with a stun gun.

Holy fuck that would hurt

Probably not as bad as the whippings below, but electricity scares the fuck out of me

Double shock, in chastity

Ow, ow, ow, ow

Disorienting

Pretty damn painful with little bits of skin

 Nice Marks.  

That's gotta suck.  

I don't know how to explain how this turns me on but it does.  

Cleared a hurdle

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, I was playing a game on my phone wearing my male clothes.  Mistress was in bed, ready for me to turn out the lights and go to sleep.  She didn't mention anything about my male attire either because she didn't think about it or she wanted to see what I would do.  In my own mind I was debating what to do.  I was feeling insecure about putting a nighty on.  I was slightly humiliated at the thought.  My male ego was trying to take over.  I debated a little bit more and decided I really want to do 100% of what my Mistress asks of me, even especially if I don't like it.  That is what true submission is about.  That being said, from about 4 am until I got up, I had many naughty thoughts running through my mind.  I woke up horny as could be.  I got through my self doubt, and submitted.  This is the first time I can ever remember of not letting my macho male ego get the better of me, and doing what I was told to do without it becoming an "issue" in my relationship.  I really feel my mindset changing and the pushy bottom part of me leaving.

For today's edge I thought about Mistress fucking with me this weekend.  Mistress will be going out of town this weekend for about 24 hours.  While I will likely just hang around the house or go grab a drink somewhere, I couldn't help thinking about other possibilities.    I edged to the idea of Mistress telling me to wear a bra and stockings with garters and my chastity device and having me go to a strip club.  Although I think it would be more fun having her with me for something like that.  I edged to the idea of her having me take her to the airport and/or pick her up, but I would be wearing womens clothes (jeans or slacks and a femme shirt, something not obvious but still a mind fuck for me).   If we didn't have our pets, I thought about her putting me in chains, shackles and chastity, naked and putting me in the dungeon and locking the door.  She would have webcams on me the whole time.  I would have a pair of bolt cutters in case of an emergency, but I would be in jail for 24 hours.  I imagined her locking me in the dog cage.  I would have to sit in it until she sent me the combination to the lock. I imagine her giving me a household chore or chores she wants done while she is gone.  I would be judged on how well I completed them.  I imagined Mistress teasing me with pictures of her or her taunting me about her slave at home.

I love my Mistress very much!

Today

As I write this I have a large plug in my ass and a lingerie set on under my clothes, waiting for my fingernail polish to dry.

My head is spinning and I am soooo horny.  Today I edged to the idea of Mistress making me wear more and more items and outfits.  Things that make me uncomfortable or fear being found out.  I imagined her verbally taunting me about what I am wearing or having me tied down and making me admit how much I love it.  I imagined her not letting me change out of my day lingerie until bed time.  Essentially I have to be in some form of femininity 24/7 as I do tend to be in male clothes in the mornings and evenings.  I imagined her telling me how much she likes pushing my buttons and how it turns her on to see me dressed (if it does) and humiliated (if it does).  I keep dreaming of more elaborate outfits both under my clothes and actual outfits.  There are some companies now making some pretty sexy clothes for men that wear women's clothes.  All I can think of is being MBB's naughty slut slave.

Mindset this week

I have been ordered to wear something sexy under my clothes this week.  Yesterday I chose pink leggings.  These were by far the sexiest feeling garment I have worn all week.  The leggings were thick and tight.  I almost felt like I was restrained while I was wearing them.  Every step I took I could feel them (even more than garters).  They smashed my cock down, so where I would normally have a bulge I had none.  That was a little emasculating, but in a good way.  All I could think of is "what if the person I am talking to knew what I was wearing".  While I was physically relieved to get out of them, mentally I was not.  It was kind of like being untied.  The discomfort went away, but the stimulation did too.

In addition to wearing something sexy under my clothes during the day I also have to wear a nighty to bed each night.  There is something different this time about having a standing order.  I have to think about what I want to wear.  I have to plan it and make it happen.  There can be no excuses or MBB will punish me by taking away D/s.  It's a mind fuck because I have to overcome my inhibitions and insecurity and just do it.  I have to own it and I have to accept that I like dressing up.  I am emasculated in a way that is so sexy to me, especially when she sees me in something sexy or naughty.  It affects me deeply in a very good way.

One thing about this week is I keep thinking "I wish I had this or that to wear".  I have imagined several outfits and sleeping clothes.  I can't help thinking this way.  I go into sub space just thinking about it.

Today's edge was me fantasizing about everything above as well as the concept below.

   

What I would have edged to...

I am extra motivated today so I didn't take the time to edge.  If I did I would have edged to the pics below.  What's interesting, I don't want to be in chastity or willingly open my mouth to eat cum, so how I find this so hot is beyond me.  Maybe it's because I don't want it that it's hot.  The last pic is today's under clothing sexiness.  It's pink, super tight and restrictive.  I will not be forgetting this today.

Today's edge and pics of me

So far I have been following my instructions without fail.  Yesterday I was to wear something "sexy" under my clothes.  I chose these lace leggings.

Today I chose white panty hose.  I'm not sure if they are "sexy" or not, but I feel pretty slutty in them.

I also wore a nighty as instructed.  It's hard not to have feminine thoughts when you are a guy sleeping in a nighty.  Now that I have cum recently, I still think about all the femme stuff, but my focus is back to immovable bondage and relentless teasing and denial.  Just thinking about being close to the edge and begging to cum and not cum at the same time.  Spouting off at the mouth, agreeing to anything.  Taking pain, wanting humiliation and discomfort.   My head just spins thinking about it.

I also edged to the thought of my cock buried deep in Mistress.  Making her cum again and again.  Holding her down and not letting the sensitivity go away while I keep fucking her.  Wow!  I could do this all day.  I need to get to work.

Obedience

On Friday afternoon Mistress was kind enough to initiate sex (because I still have such an issue with it).  It was quick, hot and messy.  And awesome.  There was no kink to it, which is fine as we needed to connect emotionally.  However Saturday morning we again had sex, and this time Mistress was whispering lots of kinky stuff to me.  She also gave me a list of demands.

First off me me start by saying THANK YOU MISTRESS.  Second, I have a habit of forgetting what Mistress mentions in the heat of the moment and apparently so does Mistress sometimes.  That being said I have started to ask clarifying questions and am also doing my best to follow instructions.  MBB has shown me that disobedience means we can go very long times without D/s, so my goal is to do everything and anything she tells me to do without question.

First, On Sunday I was to remove my pink toenail polish and put on some purple polish.  I did this yesterday without her having to remind me.  I have to admit, it looks pretty good and I liked the mental aspect of removing one color just to put on another.

Second, Starting last night I am to wear nighties to bed.  Now in the past I have asked her to not make it a standing rule as I find it hot to have her specifically telling me when to wear such items.  Recently though I have come to the conclusion that while it's hotter for me to tell me directly, it's me being a pushy bottom.  Once I got rid of that pre-conceived idea I have a new mindset.  I may very well be wearing nighties every night for the rest of my life.  I may like it, I may not.  Doing something the way she wants me to and not the way I want to is submission, and I want to submit.  Either way, I just got a mental buzz and a hard-on writing those last few sentences.

Third, I am to wear something sexy (which I take to mean feminine) under my work clothes each day this week.  I don't yet know what they will be, but the very prospect makes me feel owned as well.

Lastly, Mistress has mentioned chastity again.  Now anyone that has read this blog knows how I feel about chastity.  It's ok, and even be fun with an active participant, but it's easy to feel sorry for yourself when there is little activity.  Because there is a fair level of discomfort, it's easy to get cranky.  That being said, it's the same thought I had as above.  If Mistress does things the way I want, it's really her submitting and not me submitting.  If Mistress wants me in chastity, I want to be in chastity.  I want to please her, I want to demonstrate my obedience to her, and I want her to feel confident in her dominance of me.

MBB is a very good Domme, however I have pushed back too much in the past.  I cannot and will not let that happen again.  I will be as obedient as I possibly can no matter what she makes me do.  I love how wet she gets when she knows she owns my mind, body and soul.

Stockings and Spankings

Yesterday Mistress had me wear stockings under my work clothes.  Initially I was planning on wearing pantyhose as they are easier to deal with, but then I realized she specified stockings.  If I have learned anything over the last 3 years is to do more, not less when she asks me to do something like this.  My first instinct was to go for black ones that fit great, but then the submissive sluttiness that my brain is currently producing had other things in mind.  I chose a pair of white and pink panties that have built in garters.  To that I added pink stockings to attach to the garters.  As much as garters and stockings can be a pain, there is no mistaking their ability to keep reminding you of their existence.  Pantyhose can be ignored somewhat, but I was constantly reminded of the tightness of these particular stockings.  I was reminded that they stopped at mid thigh.  I was reminded of the garters not only with every step I took, but also every time I sat down.  I could see the straps pushing through my pants.  In short there was no escaping the mind fuck of wearing them  I was proud to take a picture for MBB as requested and humiliated at the same time.  I loved it.

I was planning on edging to something based on the above post, but before I could I stumbled across this post in my blog list.  I edged a good 30+ times reading it as it was so hot (and a little scary)

View on her blog or see below.  http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/09/sex-with-my-husband.html?zx=f3a59ca12de15b40

Sex with my husband

Yesterday night, watching X-Factor on TV at night with my husband. After the show... SEX. Not fantasy or fiction this time. The real thing. This is what sex is like between me and my husband (sometimes... and embellished with some things I wish I would have said). You will get a good general idea, however. It isn't exactly what you might call Vanilla...

Me: Go upstairs and get into your panties, I want to fuck you tonight.
Him: [says nothing... gets a gleam in his eye... does as he is told]

I give him a few minutes and then walk slowly upstairs. david is naked except for a pair of sheer pink panties. He has chosen the panties from a drawerfull we keep for him for this purpose. He has chosen to put his nose in the corner and wait for me like that. I can totally see his ass and ass crack through his sheer panties. I get an immediate, visceral urge to beat that ass.

Me: Lie on the bed, ass high across the pillows, you're getting a beating, bitch.
Him: [says nothing... does as he is told... him cornering himself meant he wanted a beating tonight before his fucking]

We have four pillows on the bed, he piled two of them on the left side of the bed, in the middle, and lay across them submissively, pantied ass nice and high. He is presented like an offering. He has asked for this beating, so he will receive it on the spot where nature intended slutty submissive husbands to catch their beatings: ass and thighs.

I feel excited watching him do this for me. I can feel my own panties dampening. I open the bedside drawer and pull out my strap. He groans in a sexy way, knowing what is coming.

Me: You're getting a beating now. You want to know why? Because you're a man who wants to be dressed in panties and fucked like a woman. So you want to act like a submissive little cunt? I'll beat you like a submissive little cunt. Simple math, baby. [He likes when I talk dirty to him... he tells me any bad words one might think of applying to a woman can be safely applied to him!]

I whip the strap down hard low across his pantied ass cheeks, right at the panty line. He groans. I do it four more times just like that. His wiggles and moans turn me on even more.

I reach over and lower his panties to just below his cheeks. No reason this bitch will get to keep her panties up for her beating. Part of her humiliation will be to display her anus during her spanking. I am rewarded with a bird's eye view of my husband's now bare and totally exposed asshole. He's getting a fucking in there later and he knows it. No reason I shouldn't see it now.

I give him five more. I target two of them to wrap around between his ass cheeks, near his sensitive little puckered hole.

I put away the strap. His ass is nicely red and marked in places. I reach under my bed to get the riding crop.

Me: Reach behind you and pull those cheeks apart for me.
Him: [says nothing... does as he is told]

Me: Pull them apart harder. Really reach in there. Pull harder. I mean it.
Him: yes ma'am [as he struggles to obey me]

His little boy hole is gaping open now. I take my crop, crouch down a little to get the right angle, and whip the tip down onto his hole. He half moans half ouches. I repeat this over and over again. I am fascinated by the clenching and unclenching and puckering of his hole as I whip it.

As I whip, he loses the grasp of his cheeks, but immediately scrambles to reaffirm it. I love watching him in pain from the whipping, but still submissively pulling his cheeks wide apart for me over and over again in order to submit to my painful stroking. Paradoxically, the worse the whipping, the wider he pulls. Seeing him pulling himself wide for me, waiting for the next whipping stroke, I'm thinking I want to fuck that ass.

I put the crop down.

Me: Are you going to let me fuck you in the ass?
Him: yes ma'am
Me: I'm using Adam, you know that don't you? [Adam is my biggest dildo - realistic looking - large]
Him: yes ma'am.
Me: Are you going to be my little ass bitch, tonight, huh?
Him: oh yes ma'am
Me: Are you going to take it like a woman for me?
Him: yes ma'am
Me: I'm 'gonna flip you over, raise you legs nice and high, and take you missionary style. Will that make you feel like a proper woman, baby?
Him: yes ma'am
Me: Is your ass beaten enough?
Him: yes ma'am
Me: I don't think so. Not yet anyways. Put your hands in front of you and hang on.

david releases his deathgrip on his ass cheeks and puts his hands in front of him. He clutches the covers, knowing what is coming. Knowing that quite a lot may still be coming.

I open the drawer and take out the little souvenir hardwood paddle. I put my left knee up on the bed. I put my left hand down on the small of his back. With my right I pull his lowered panties right down to his knees. Then I start paddling his ass. I count out two hundred strokes to myself in my head. Each one hard and stinging. I get to watch his ass redden to a deep crimson as his knuckles whiten grabbing the bed covers for dear life. About half way through his paddling I get what I want.

Him: No please! No! No more! Please! It hurts!

This is the part where I start to really get excited. I love his begging. I love his begging when I can see the damage I'm doing to his ass! I can feel the sweat on his lower back. I can smell it. I can watch his legs convulse, especially as I paddle the backs of his thighs. Targeting the insides of his thighs when his legs inadvertently spread which makes him clutch them together again. The next time they part, which they do, he gets a harsher lesson. A light paddle stroke to the undersides of his genitals. A gurgling scream and he shuts his legs tightly together. They do not come apart again. Ha Ha! I finish off the padlding to his ass. Hard and fast. His reactions are genuine. My man cries little tears.

I leave him there, in his little puddle of tears. I strip down to just my panties. They are kind of wet. I pull on the strap-on harness over them. I have a big dick now!

Me: Lie on your back, one pillow under your hips.
Him: [says nothing... does as he is told]

I pick up his legs by his ankles and hold them high. I pull the panties up to around his ankles. I stretch them and loop them around his ankles. His ass is really, really red. Dark cherry red.

Me: Hold your legs up like that.
Him: [he holds them up high... like a little slut should]

I walk towards his head, I make him turn and face me. I spread my legs and crouch down so that my cock is at his mouth level. I push towards him, he moves his face to the very edge of the bed and takes me into his mouth. I grab his head and face fuck my little whore. I love the sounds his mouth makes as I face fuck him. Little gurgling sounds, mixed in with the occasional gagging sound when I "accidentally" go too deep.

He tries to steer me into his cheek. I know his little tricks. I grab him by the throat and squeeze. "OPEN" I tell him. He gets Adam down his throat for his troubles. I make him gag no fewer than five times for his impertinence, until I am satisfied he has learned his lesson. This bitch will learn to deep throat me. By the time I pull out there are more tears in his eyes and he is slobbering like crazy.

Sometime during that intense face fucking he apparently got the idea it was ok to disobey me and drop his feet back down to the bed.

Me: Did I say you could drop your feet?
Him: [he quickly raises his legs again]
Me: Oh no! You need a lesson. [I say as I pick up my paddle again]
Him: No! Please! No More! Please!!!

But there is more. I push down on the backs of his thighs, practically doubling him over. His genitals, his asshole, his deep red ass, and his light red thighs are presented to me in a perfect attitude for a childish diaper position punishment.

I paddle him again. He's lucky he's not getting the strap, but I am feeling generous. I know it hurts him a hell of a lot more when his skin is stretched and tight over his ass and thighs, as it is in this position. But he does still have to learn to not lower his legs during his face fucking. I make sure he learns that lesson. I make sure he learns to obey.

I especially enjoy targeting the relatively virgin insides of his ass crack when he is in this position. I am especially excited spanking him while wearing Adam. It's a big glorious erect cock sticking out in front of me! I make sure to brush his flanks with it as I spank. His own cock is shrivelled pathetically. No competition for Adam at all (nor even at the "best of times" for that matter).

Me: Now hold that fucking pose, you little cunt! If you drop your legs again I'll belt whip your ass in that position until you can't cry anymore! [I grab his cock and balls and roughly pull them out between his legs, so they are sticking out behind him]. And that whipping will be balls out, do you understand me?
Him: Yes Ma'am!

I have great aim, but a balls out whipping terrifies the fuck out of him. I move progressively closer until he can feel the wind whipping at his balls. Haven't missed yet and don't plan to. He still gets scared for some reason, though.

I get the lube. I lube up Adam. Then I lube up his asshole. He is holding his legs nice and high for me! I dribble lube onto his genitals, and I rub some into them as well.

Then I hop up on the bed kneeling in front of him. I slide forward until the tip of my Adam touches his asshole. Then I start gently pushing in. I need to change the angle a couple of times, but then I have it right, and I start slowly exerting the appropriate pressure. david "ows" and complains, but slowly, slowly he starts opening up for me, like a flower, as I keep the pressure on. He knows it goes easier for him if he presses out, as if performing a bowel movement. I can see him straining to do that from the look on his face. Magically he opens up and I pop in. "Ow ow ow Ow" he says, but I hold my ground patiently until the cramping dies down. Then I slowly start fucking my little bitch.

I pull his hips into me as I rock back and forth, fucking his ass. His legs are high with his panties wrapped around his ankles. That is his view: his raised legs and his panties banded around his ankles. He also sees me: my face, my bare breasts, my flat tummy, as I fuck him, slowly and deliberately.

As the fucking proceeds I grab his lubed up cock and balls and rub them gently. I rub my cock in and out of him, scraping by his prostate gently, gently, as I rub up and down the length of his now rigidly erect cock. He moans. What a little slut I have on my hands! Tramp! Whore!

Me: Are you going to squirt for me, baby? Squirt as I rub your clitty and fuck your ass, huh baby?
Him: yeah! oh yeah!
Me: You know that after you squirt I'm going to scoop it up and put it in your mouth and make you swallow every last drop, don't you?
Him: yes
Me: Will you like that? Will you like being a little cum bucket for me?
Him: YES, PLEASE!

I fuck gently and rub his cock hard and I get a nice big juicy squirting for my trouble. I aim his cock towards his face. The first bit gets to his chin, the next ones dribble on his chest and tummy.

I pull out slowly, wrapping Adam in paper towels I had handy and taking my harness off carefully.

Me: Keep holding you legs up, baby, you're a bit messy back there.

That always embarrasses him, knowing that! I have some baby wipes in the dresser drawer, bought specifically for this purpose. I clean him like a baby and wrap the soiled wipes into the paper towels.

When he is clean, I move up to his chest and I use my hands to scoop up the cum and push it into his eager mouth. He licks and sucks my fingers dry, and swallows it all down. I tell him to clean my Adam thoroughly and to take a shower. He is to be quick about, he has pussy and ass licking duties waiting for him immediately upon his return!