Obedience

On Friday afternoon Mistress was kind enough to initiate sex (because I still have such an issue with it).  It was quick, hot and messy.  And awesome.  There was no kink to it, which is fine as we needed to connect emotionally.  However Saturday morning we again had sex, and this time Mistress was whispering lots of kinky stuff to me.  She also gave me a list of demands.

First off me me start by saying THANK YOU MISTRESS.  Second, I have a habit of forgetting what Mistress mentions in the heat of the moment and apparently so does Mistress sometimes.  That being said I have started to ask clarifying questions and am also doing my best to follow instructions.  MBB has shown me that disobedience means we can go very long times without D/s, so my goal is to do everything and anything she tells me to do without question.

First, On Sunday I was to remove my pink toenail polish and put on some purple polish.  I did this yesterday without her having to remind me.  I have to admit, it looks pretty good and I liked the mental aspect of removing one color just to put on another.

Second, Starting last night I am to wear nighties to bed.  Now in the past I have asked her to not make it a standing rule as I find it hot to have her specifically telling me when to wear such items.  Recently though I have come to the conclusion that while it's hotter for me to tell me directly, it's me being a pushy bottom.  Once I got rid of that pre-conceived idea I have a new mindset.  I may very well be wearing nighties every night for the rest of my life.  I may like it, I may not.  Doing something the way she wants me to and not the way I want to is submission, and I want to submit.  Either way, I just got a mental buzz and a hard-on writing those last few sentences.

Third, I am to wear something sexy (which I take to mean feminine) under my work clothes each day this week.  I don't yet know what they will be, but the very prospect makes me feel owned as well.

Lastly, Mistress has mentioned chastity again.  Now anyone that has read this blog knows how I feel about chastity.  It's ok, and even be fun with an active participant, but it's easy to feel sorry for yourself when there is little activity.  Because there is a fair level of discomfort, it's easy to get cranky.  That being said, it's the same thought I had as above.  If Mistress does things the way I want, it's really her submitting and not me submitting.  If Mistress wants me in chastity, I want to be in chastity.  I want to please her, I want to demonstrate my obedience to her, and I want her to feel confident in her dominance of me.

MBB is a very good Domme, however I have pushed back too much in the past.  I cannot and will not let that happen again.  I will be as obedient as I possibly can no matter what she makes me do.  I love how wet she gets when she knows she owns my mind, body and soul.