It has now been a little over 2 weeks since I have had an orgasm, and 8 days I have been in chastity. I am riding a wave of sexual energy that has me on cloud-9. When I think of chastity and orgasm denial this is what it is about.
I have to give Mistress a lot of credit. Her "recalibration" email was done perfectly at the perfect time. I have gone back and read emails from 5 years ago after we first met. Had I not been so difficult, we would be much deeper into D/s than we currently are. Reading those emails has me committed to doing what it takes to make it happen. Looking back, Mistress had all the right ideas. She had rules, protocols, she asked lots of questions and would remind me of what I had asked for. That being said, I am committing to getting us to where we should be. It was me that messed it up so it's me that needs to fix it. I need to submit like I never have and do things without question.
Mistress and I recently spent a couple nights away from home. We had a couple days to talk about where things are headed. I confessed that I thought Mistress has been far to kind with allowing me to orgasm. Going back through a lot of those emails, I realized some of our best sex was when I didn't cum. It took a long time to convince her back then that I didn't need to cum. I remember her trying to make me cum and me refusing. We had a ton of great sex we were both satisfied. My favorite was to give her multiple orgasms and then to have her push me off and tell me she was done with me. To me that was the epitome of a female led relationship.
I communicated that while wearing my chastity device was somewhat difficult, I am committed to being locked up for as long as possible. While I am pretty good at being chaste without a device, the device enforces the D/s aspect of our relationship. Also, now that I have changed my mindset regarding a device, it is easier to wear. I confessed to Mistress that I can imagine my cock being locked for the rest of my life, only to be let out for her pleasure. I can imagine being unlocked almost daily, just long enough to make love to Mistress and when she has had her fill of orgasms I would be immediately locked up. I can imagine never touching my cock again. All of my pleasure would come from Mistress. I wouldn't become one of the chastity slaves that cum when the wind blows. I would be a chastity slave can make Mistress cum again and again while holding my own orgasm back.
All of this talk got Mistress and I worked up. We headed back to our room and proceeded to get naked. I begged Mistress to not unlock me as I wanted to make sure I pleased her and I also didn't want to accidentally cum. Much to my surprise Mistress let me go down on her. Oral sex is something Mistress rarely lets me do. Some guy in her past fucked it up for her and that is a shame. As a submissive male, giving oral sex huge. Giving oral sex and using my fingers while my cock is locked up is priceless. To me, kissing and licking her pussy should be a frequent occurrence. She has some concerns about the scent. Scent is an incredibly powerful trigger for me. Scent has a way of getting to the brain more than any other stimuli. For me, the smell of leaves on the ground in the fall takes me back to junior high. Scent is one thing you see me posting about frequently. Thinking of having a pair of Mistress dirty panties or tights stretched over my nose while my mouth is taped closed makes my head spin. Spending hours between Mistress legs does the same for me.
Mistress did order me to unlock and put my cock inside her. For the most part I was able to pleasure her with my cock, but frequently had to stop so that I didn't cum. I was so happy she didn't order me to orgasm. I managed to give Mistress many orgasms, mostly with my fingers. She came so hard and squirted so much that it reminded me of the old days. I love watching her cum. I love making love to her. I love pleasing her sexually. As we "recalibrate" I would like to spend much more time pleasuring Mistress. I want to re-learn her body. I want to make her cum and cum and cum. Since I am committed to not having an orgasm for quite some time, I want to focus that energy on her.
When Mistress was fulfilled, she ordered me to clean off and to lock myself back in chastity. I was happy to do so. Even though I didn't cum, I was incredibly satisfied with the sex. I felt fulfilled as a submissive and by not cumming I am still as turned on without any let down.
While Mistress and I were getting ready for dinner she asked me my thoughts on playing with a 3rd person. We have spoken about this many times in the past so it wasn't a surprise. I will post about that in another post as I want this post to be about pleasing Mistress.