Showing posts with label Pushing Limits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pushing Limits. Show all posts

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Feminine Switch Is Flipped

Mistress is continuing to push me and I am loving every minute of it.  Here is how the rest of my week went.

After I posted on Wednesday morning that I was dressed feminine and doing the dishes, I had to go to work.  After I got home from work and we were sitting down to dinner Mistress told me that I was to start dressing feminine every day until further notice.  Of course my her cock twitched and a switch was flipped in my brain.  Before we got into bed Mistress went to one of my drawers and picked out a nighty for me to wear.  She was serious about starting my feminization back up.  Hooray!



Thursday morning I got up and got dressed again. I picked out a brown sweater dress with a cowl neck and my same heels before.  I did the dishes as now required of me and when I completed the dishes I asked to be dismissed as I had a busy day at work.  Mistress denied my request.  I didn't expect that.  She told me that I needed to fill out some forms for her.  I tried to push back, but realized that this is what I want and need.  To be of service to her whether I want to do a particular task or not.  I filled out the forms and while I was doing so, my heart warmed to the idea of being of use to Mistress, her slave.  This is what I want. 

Thursday night, I went to bed before Mistress.  I had a decision to make.  Was I going to wear the nighty or not.  It wasn't specified that the nightly ritual of me wearing a nighty was expected or not.  I was conflicted.  If I wore it, was I just 'doing this to myself'?  Was I being a pushy bottom?  Was I following orders?  Will Mistress even notice?  It was harder for me to decide than it should have been.  In the end I did wear it for 2 reasons.  The main reason is that I didn't want to give Mistress an excuse to put me in the cage.  The other reason is I wanted to show Mistress that I am dedicated to her and her desire to feminize me and make me obey.  I want to be pushed harder.

Friday we had company over in the morning so dressing feminine was not an option.  Mistress did a great job of having me make dinner and serve her drinks all night.  She is getting better at being bossier and more selfish, but I am still looking for her to be even more bossy and selfish.  At bedtime I was again conflicted about what to wear to bed.  This is one of the problems of not being dressed regularly.  It's hard to get back to that comfortable spot where I miss being feminized and it becomes a challenge again.  I feel like a lot of hard work was lost, but at the same time the mind-fuck is much stronger when it's difficult for me. As it turns out, Mistress noticed my nighty and had me remedy the situation.  Submission restored.

This morning I wasn't sure what to wear.  Before we had my dressing hiatus, Mistress let me have the weekends off from being dressed.  Now I normally wouldn't admit this, but because it's been over 11 weeks of me being locked in chastity and not cumming, and my perfume is filling my nostrils, I think weekends should have even stricter feminization rules.  At least during the winter when we are more home-bound.  Maybe not skirts and dresses, but certainly casual, but feminine attire such as yoga outfits and such.  There is no reason for me to not have to wear an outfit including a bra and makeup if we are not going out. 

So this morning I decided to wear some mom jeans with a red low cut sweater.  I am also wearing a bra and inserts.  My head is spinning in a feminine and submissive way.  The weight of my inserts reminding me of what a little slut I yearn to be.

One thing I am noticing again is how much being dressed changes my attitude.  It takes my macho/masculine behavior and knocks it down several notches.  I am kinder and more patient when I am wearing  a bra, heels and a skirt.  I can't act superior when I have allowed myself to be put in such a potentially humiliating position.   


In closing, we are just scratching the surface of how far Mistress can push me.  I look forward to her continuing to find ways to use me and to challenge me, both mentally and physically.  I want her to push me, and keep pushing me until I ask for mercy.  I want to live in that space where my submission is not necessarily fun, but it's real.  I want to feel that the control she has over me is unrelenting and cruel.  I want to see Mistress' eyes sadistically light up as I am forced to endure whatever she dishes out.  I want her to smile at my misfortune and to get off on making me suffer. 




          

Friday, January 19, 2018

Heading in the right direction

After many years of fits and starts I truly believe we are heading in a direction that will put me further and further under Mistress' control.  I'm very excited.


Since we both work from home now Mistress truly has the ability to control me 24/7 if she so chooses.  Gone are the days where she would head off to work and I would be able to do whatever I wanted.  I am incredibly excited about the direction this can go and hope that there is no turning back.


Last night as Mistress and I were about to get into bed, Mistress threw something on the bed.  I looked down and it was a pair of keys.  Mistress told me to remove my chastity device as she wanted to use her cock.  I went into the bathroom and removed my device and used a wet wash cloth to clean any scent from her cock.  I went back into the bedroom and Mistress was lying on a couple of towels and was playing with herself.  Almost as soon as I climbed back into bed, I got very hard and I was inside of Mistress almost instantly.  I thought for sure that I would be in the edge in no time, but I was able to go longer than I expected.  Even though I went longer than expected it still wasn't long enough to get Mistress off.  When I stopped to keep myself from cumming, Mistress had me use my fingers on her G-spot.  I teased and edged her a couple times before giving her an orgasm. 

After her orgasm she told me to put my cock inside her.  I did and as I got closer to the edge, Mistress asked me when my last orgasm was.  I told her that it was November 22nd or 8 weeks and 1 day.  I added that I was in chastity the entire time less 2 days.  Mistress told me that she felt it was time for me to have an orgasm.  I pathetically begged her to not make me cum and that I would to anything to avoid that fate.  I then told her flat out that I was going to refuse her order and accept any punishment she decided to dish out.  After a few minutes of her telling me to cum with my cock inside of her and me refusing, Mistress  told me to giver her another orgasm with my fingers.  This time I got her off in less than 30 seconds.  I then put my cock inside Mistress and after a few strokes she told me to stop.  I didn't.  She commanded me to stop a few more times before I relented.  She told me she was done with me and to lock myself back up.  I offered to give her another orgasm but she refused.

I went into the bathroom, washed my cock off again and locked myself back into chastity under Mistress' supervision.  Mistress hid the keys as I went back to bed.  When Mistress got back into bed, she teased my balls and told me to put the cane on her bathroom vanity when I got up in the morning.  She plans on caning me and she also plans on restraining me for it.  I asked her to not restrain me and see how much I am able to take, but she refused saying she didn't want to have to deal with me being unrestrained.

To be fair, her concern is warranted.  I believe that a proper beating requires restraints.  A fight or flight response will happen if she beats me the way I need to be beaten.  I need to be pushed past that point and the only way is with restraints.  There will be a point where I will get mad and if I am tied up there is nothing I can do about it.  I need to stay tied up until I have recovered from the anger and frustration and am back into my submissive mindset.  I'm not big on aftercare, but some tenderness and discussion while I am still tied up and recovering is the way I imagine being the most beneficial.  Being given a verbal reminder that I have asked for this a long time and I am finally getting the cruelty I have begged for, for so long.

As we drifted off to sleep I thanks Mistress for not making me cum.  I didn't want to be the guy that I am after an orgasm  I also assured Mistress again that I am very excited about where we are headed and that no matter what, I am hers to do with as she pleases.  I let her know that she doesn't need to worry about pushing me to hard or being too cruel.  No matter what she does to me I will take it.  I am here to serve, be her domestic slave, her sex slave, her sissy slave and do whatever she wishes.

Side note.  For whatever reason I can't think about a spanking without thinking of a pair of panties I have like these.  It seems like the perfect target as the butt is framed and exposed.  However, I have been reading about how important the spot where the thighs meet the butt is such a good punishment spot and these cover that spot. 



          

Friday, January 12, 2018

Randomness

As of today I have gone 51 days without an orgasm.  I am still 21 days short of my record of 72 days.  February 3rd will be my new record which I really hope to surpass.  Today is also my 49th day or 7th full week of being locked in chastity.  This is 20 days more than my previous record.  I see no reason this record can't be indefinite.  It's been 13 days since my cock has had any stimulation.  That was when Mistress tied me down and wonderfully tortured me.  And it's been 4 weeks since I have been inside of Mistress.

Last night Mistress indicated that I would be serving her in some capacity.  I don't care what it is or how it is.  Due to Mistress period, her having a cold of some sort and just life in general, it's been awhile since we have had any sexual intimacy.  I look forward to pleasing her in any way she desires without regard to my needs.  She deserves some orgasms!

Earlier this week I was reading one of my blogs in which a submissive was asking to play again with her Domme.  She asked to play, and halfheartedly asked for it to not be so painful.  The Domme essentially said that if they were to play again it was going to hurt more and for a longer period of time.  The concept turned me on quite a bit.  Escalating scenes until the sub used her safe word or truly asked for it to not be so painful.  I love the idea of my situation being escalated until I truly beg for mercy.  I want to be begging for Mistress to be nicer as opposed to me begging for her to be meaner.  

Lastly, I saw the picture below and it spoke to me.  I love the schoolgirl outfit.  It's a perfect balance of naughty and nice without being too fetishy.  The shoes and socks are not sexy, they skirt is bordering on being too short and the blouse is very modest.  I want this outfit. 

I love the idea of her having to write on the chalkboard, but I imaging having to fill the board with the phrase in small letters until the board is full.  It reminds me of my own childhood punishments in the classroom.  I can still smell the chalk.  I fantasize about when she is done writing the lines, that the 'teacher' has her bend over the desk. Her skirt is lifted to find a pair of very non-sexy, white cotton panties.  The panties are left up as this is a punishment, not a sexual act, and she receives 20 hard strokes of the cane for being such a slut.  Afterward she is sent to stand in the corner until detention is over.   Hmmmmm.    



Monday, January 1, 2018

The year in review

2017 was tough for me professionally and financially, but on the D/s side of things I was very fortunate.  As I was waking up this morning with Mistress cock straining against its chastity cage, I realized my kinky side had a lot to be thankful for.  Here is a rundown of my submissive 2017.

  • I had only 21 orgasms in 2017.  This is a new record for me.  18-20 years ago when I traveled for a loving I came at least 2-3 times a day if not 4-5.  I would estimate I have 900-1000 orgasms per year back in my younger more sexually selfish days.
  • I had zero orgasms in February, July and December.
  • I had only one orgasm in March, September, and November.
  • In May I had 6 orgasms or more than 25% of the whole year.
  • I set a new record of 72 days straight with no orgasm.
  •  I spent 103 days in chastity.  That beats my previous best year by more than a month.  That is far more than any year in my life.  It is also a great starting point to try for 365 days in 2018.

  • I just no realized that I am now in the longest period of continuous chastity in my life at 37 days and counting.  My previous record was 28 days, 2 years ago around this same time of year.  I am very excited to find that out.
  •  I was dressed in feminine attire more in 2017 than all of my previous years combined.  Not only was I dressed more, I wore perfume more, I wore heels more, I wore bras more, and I stayed dressed for entire days, not just a couple of hours.  2017 was not a record year for nighty wearing however.

  • I embraced my feminine side.
  • I embraced wearing a chastity device.
  • I spent more hours locked in a cage than I ever have.  This is not pleasure at all, so accepting it has been good for my submissive development.

  • Mistress has started using me for her sexual pleasure while not concerning herself with my pleasure.
In so many ways 2017 was a banner year for me in my submissive mind.  I am very fortunate to have a Mistress that accepts me for who I am and wants to help push me further.  So that being said, here are my submissive goals for 2018
  • My #1 goal is to break my nasty attitude and demeaning manner when communicating with Mistress.  This part of me is the only part of my father I have in me.  It's part of who I am unfortunately.  It doesn't mean it can't be corrected.  I cannot break it by myself, so I have requested Mistress to do whatever it takes to help me make it go away.  We are coming up with a plan to help me, but I want to reassure her that she can do whatever it takes to break me of this nastiness. I need to fear the consequences.
  • Fewer orgasms.  I think something in the 2-6 range would be good, although an entire year without one sounds very exciting.
  • 365 days of chastity.  I don't know if this is possible, but it is something I am serious about making happen.
  • Being collared 365 days.  This morning I locked my collar back on.  I will have a plan for being able to travel with my collar on as well.

  • I would like to be dressed feminine much more, but it's been so long since I have been fully dressed than I am insecure about it and need Mistress to coerce me a bit.  It's not just dress either, just something to keep enforcing my feminine side.
  • Becoming more of a servant to Mistress.  From serving her wine, to helping her bathe, I want to truly serve her like a servant in ancient Egypt would serve his Mistress.
  • Being used by Mistress for sexual pleasure much more.
  • Starting to play in some darker areas.  Exploring things like temporary banishment, public feminization, forced-bi, and cuckolding.  These last 2 are not something I want for real, but I do think being verbally taunted and threatened with them are kind of hot.  I love a good mind-fuck.
  • Now that Mistress and I both work from home, Mistress can fully control me in ways she couldn't working from an office.
  • To be more owned then ever before and for Mistress to be more pleased than ever before.   
In closing, I want to wish everyone a Happy New year and a prosperous 2018.  I'd also like to thank Mistress for a record breaking 2017!

  

Saturday, December 16, 2017

A plan for my next orgasm.

Last night was another night of Mistress using me in a way that is good for both of us.  Our evening consisted of happy hour, and some time home with the pets.  We went to bed at a decent hour and while we were getting ready Mistress started asking me some questions. Mistress started by asking me how long I could go without an orgasm before I started having a bad attitude.  To me this was an interesting question. 

There are clearly examples of men that get resentful when they don't cum.  I am not one of those men.  I told Mistress so long that there was ample teasing and interaction that I could go a very long time without an orgasm.  And when I say teasing, it doesn't necessarily have to be physically teasing my cock, although that would be nice.  It could be mental teasing.  Comments, text messages, and other sorts of non-physical teasing are very powerful.  Without some sort of acknowledgement and encouragement of chastity play, then I would eventually get resentful, but not due to lack of cumming. 

She asked again how long I could go without an orgasm.  I told her I could likely go a year.  Then I lowered that to once a quarter.  Now it;s not that I can't go a year without an orgasm, I can.  My only concern with long term denial is that I may forget how good an orgasm feels, and then I won't be as motivated to chase that orgasm if I forget how they feel.  That being said, I do believe that frequent edging can make long term orgasm denial (longer than 90 days at a time) possible.  Edging does 3 things.  It reminds the body of what an orgasm will feel like, but at the same time it removes the let down of an orgasm.  The 3rd item is the mind-fuck that occurs by being edged and locked back up.  It's incredibly powerful.

Mistress told me to think about what dates I wanted to have my orgasms.  I suggested she might not have the dominant desire to keep me denied long term and that she would have to enforce 24/7 chastity.  She assured me that she can so long as she gets to have as much pleasure as she wants.  By this point my cock was straining against my chastity cage.  I was in heaven.  Here I was locked up and being told I was going to go a very long time without an orgasm, but she would be using me.

Mistress then told me to put some towels on the bed as she was going to use me.  At first she didn't unlock me.  That made my head spin even more.  She soon relented and had me unlock my cock.  As I entered her pussy, I was amazed at how good it felt.  It's only the 2nd time in 22 days that my cock has felt any sensation.  I slipped deeper into sub-space by knowing I was going to be used for Mistress' pleasure.

As soon as I was inside Mistress she started being very rough with my nipples.  Not too rough as I am not feeling any residual pain this morning.  She started teasing me about the date I would choose for my next orgasm. Would it be Valentines day?  I said that day is for her, not for me.  Besides I want to make sure this period of denial would be the longest of the last 35 years of my life.  My current record of no orgasms was set on March 26th of this year when I went 72 days without an orgasm.  That means I would need to go to at least  February 4th to beat my old record.  So technically Valentines day could work, but I chose March 31st.  That would be 129 days or 4 months and 9 days.  Can we do it?

I wasn't inside Mistress for very long before I was on the edge.  Mistress had me use my fingers on her.  I made her cum in no time.  I was able to put my cock back inside we and we continued to discuss things.  I don't remember the order of things, but here are some of the things that came up.

  • I expressed how happy I am to see Mistress embracing my chastity and her pleasure.
  • Mistress mentioned that I need to start dressing feminine again.  We both believe I am much more submissive and respectful the more feminine I am dressed.  She will need to reset some ground rules for this as I am out of practice and insecure about it (meaner is better).
  • Mistress wants to get me some more feminine outfits.  Looks like a trip to the thrift store soon!
  • With us both working from home now, I can be at her beck and call sexually.  I can be on the floor under her desk with my tongue on her pussy, or I can meet her in the bedroom and make her cum until she is satisfied. 
Mistress again asked me what date I wanted to orgasm.  Then an idea hit me.  What if I didn't get to pick my orgasm directly, but I had to do something very difficult to signify that I was ready to orgasm.  What if I asked to be locked in the cage for 24 hours or longer to signify I wanted an orgasm?  What if I went in public fully cross-dressed to signify I wanted to orgasm.  I was going to mention some other limit pushing ideas, but Mistress jumped on that idea, a little too quickly.  She indicated that I will not be allowed an orgasm until I take her car to go get gas while I am fully feminized.  This idea scares the hell out of me while it excites me to no end at the same time.  A real challenge!

I was able to give Mistress at least 3 squirting orgasms before she was done using me.  I immediately cleaned myself up and locked my cock back up.  I thanked Mistress profusely for using me and denying me.  I went to bed feeling very horny, but also feeling very owned.  Every slaves dream come true.

As I write this I am realizing some challenges moving forward.  For me to get so horny that I will get myself dressed up and go out in public will take some effort on both of our parts.  I will need to again dress so often that I become more comfortable dressed in women's clothes than my male clothes.  Mistress will have to make sure I am aroused and teased out of my mind so that my libido overrides my fear of being dressed in public.  A strict Mistress that uses me for her pleasure while ensuring I don't drip even one drop of cum.  A battle of wills to make me cross this boundary I have in my mind.

Regardless of when my next orgasm is, my goal is to make sure Mistress is fully satisfied.  I would like to be inside her more often so that I can fuck her for as long and hard as she wants without the threat of me cumming to soon.  The lack of stimulation I now get makes me too sensitive to pleasure her properly.  If that doesn't work, I can wear a sheath or condoms to reduce my sensitivity.  The plus side to that is she can monitor if I have any unauthorized spillage.


 

       

      

Friday, December 15, 2017

Obsession and Distraction

Once in a while Mistress will make a comment that triggers something inside me that makes me obsess about it.  Not only do I obsess about it, it tends to take me to places I didn't intend on going.  Here is my latest obsession that drifted into something entirely different. 

A few days ago Mistress mentioned that I should watch my attitude, because being locked in the cage in a straitjacket with the shocking device locked on my balls doesn't sound like too much fun.  I replied something to the effect of "to you it might not sound fun".  Since then I have been obsessing about it.  Not so much about the cage, but about something similar.

My first real thought was me thinking of being put into the straight jacket I would lie in the center of one of our spare beds.  My feet would be tied so I would be forced to lie on my back.  I would be blindfolded with earplugs in my ears with white noise playing.  I would be left like this for hours.  Abandoned. 



Then of course, my mind kept going further down the path.  Instead of just being abandoned I imagined having the E-stim box hooked up to me with one set of wires going into a metal butt plug in my ass and bands around my cock.  Mistress would put the settings on the 'torment' function and leave me while my ass and genital are assaulted with electricity.




Then my mind shifted to back to being abandoned for long periods of time.  My mind went darker and realized that the need to go to the bathroom limits the amount of time a slave can be left alone.  It seems that for long term isolation bondage, diapers are frequently used.  Talk about a mind fuck.  Not only are you restricted from moving, but your can't see or hear.  Now your most basic body function is used in your punishment.  I can only imagine how long I would fight to not relieve my self in such a humiliating fashion.  One could be safely left for hours like this.  The inability to move would be excruciating, in a good sadistic way.  The mental anguish of not knowing the time, how long you will be left there and then having to relieve yourself is a very powerful reminder of the control you have given up.  


When I found the image above, I stumbled across another image that I assume only came up because of the diaper.  Apparently these onsies can be used with diapers for adult baby scenes.  These outfits are for people that have a 'little' fetish.  They are unisex and made for people of ALL sizes.  Now I am not into the adult baby fetish one bit, but these outfits do speak to my feminization and humiliation fetish.  I can imagine having to wear one around the house, to bed at night or in a scene of some sort.  The humiliation factor would be extremely high.  





So there you have a perfect example of how my brain works.  It obsesses, but it's also extremely diverse in what appeals to my submissive side.  


     

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Zap and some comments on breaking.

I have been extra difficult to deal with lately.  Mistress and I are starting to do some work together and we are butting heads.  I tend to get speak in a manner that sounds shirt and harsh.  It's certainly not my intention. Last night was one of these times where we got into a more heated back and forth and Mistress told me to put on my shocking collar.  I didn't say no, but I also didn't put it on.  She didn't press the issue, so I didn't put it on.  Had she insisted, I like to think that I would have obeyed, but she didn't so we didn't test that theory.  I was not ready to put it on just for the sake of getting shocked.  The horse had already left the barn so to speak.

That being said, I am working from home today.  I have put the shocking collar around my balls and locked it with a padlock.  I cannot remove it, and it's installed before we have any issues.  I can see me having to wear this whenever I am home, especially during working hours.  I have such a powerful fear of electricity that I am already aware of any potential tone issues I may have later today.







The other night a comment was left on this blog in response to my request for feedback from readers.  It was from a Mistress that mentioned that she would like to see me post as a broken slave.  I have been thinking of what it would look like for Mistress to break me.  While certain parts of it I can fantasize about, the other thoughts I have are reluctance as I know it would suck on many levels.  I tend to agree with her take however that if somehow Mistress was able to get me to the breaking point, I would likely be at a whole different level of submission.  The thought of enduring whatever Mistress decided to put me through, just to show my devotion as her slave is something that I find extremely hot.  That's definitely one of those 'be careful what you wish for' scenarios. 
 

Friday, December 8, 2017

Posts and/or Quotes that speak to me.

Mistress recently told me that if I link to another page, she generally doesn't go to the link.  So I went though many of the links I have done in the past and put them below.  Some are basic one liners that make my cock hard, others are more in depth and go deeper into my psyche.



He wants you to be his QUEEN, so go ahead and be one.



Do things without particular reason, use your sub in ways you never thought about before. Feel the power, let him feel the loss of it.



Make sure you are served well whenever you feel like being served.






If you are just indulging in your husbands fantasies, and not really taking control by pushing your man into doing uncomfortable things, then you are really again, just being controlled by him.

In order for female dominance to become real, you must make it real, by forcing him to do things that he does not want to do. You will either be done with all of this, or you will have the breakthrough, where you truly have brought your man to his knees in full servitude to you for the rest of your life.

Consider it like breaking a horse or training a dog. Men are no different. They can be trained to submit to your will on all matters but you do have to “break him”.



Take him, break him, mold him, and have a relationship with him, that few ever get to experience.  A relationship that puts you on a pedestal, with him serving you as you wish.  Imagine a relationship, where chores are the mans job, (unless you want to help), orgasms are an obligation for the men to give, and a privilege for him to be granted rarely for exceptional servitude.

This is your world now. You are dominant, and your man is your submissive. He asked for this, but he didn’t realize what it meant. Too bad.



You are now the dominant goddess of the house. What you say goes, is what goes. There are no exceptions. What you want is what you get… Be disciplined with yourself, and do not do things that contradict your dominance.



How nice is it to have an unpaid servant who’s glad to serve you? That is the premise and the promise of a Femdom relationship.






When it comes to chastity, you are not punishing your man - you are protecting him from his perfectly normal lack of self-control.  You are not denying him sexual pleasure. In fact, when you do release him from his male chastity belt, sex will feel better for him and his orgasms will become much more intense.  You are not denying yourself the sex life you deserve. While he’s locked up he’ll use his mouth and fingers to provide you with sexual satisfaction on a regular basis. And, there are ways that you have satisfying penetrative sex while he is still under lock and key…



When done correctly, your man will feel more loved by you than he did before male chastity became a part of your life. In fact, most men eventually thank their wives for insisting on the lifestyle.  While at first you’ll only keep him locked up for a few days at a time, eventually he should be restricted to eight to 12 orgasms a year. This is more than enough.  Over time he’ll start to feel like more of a man, because he’ll know that all of his sexual energy is going towards pleasing you. He’ll like the fact that he no longer feels like a little boy who can’t control himself when you are not looking. Instead, he will be saving himself for you…



Punishments are a very effective tool in a FLR. In fact, I would say a punishment is very powerful when done right. Punishing your husband is essential for keeping the FLR strong. When you administer a punishment, it lets him know there are consequences for bad behavior and it also brings a fierce reality to his submission to you. When he faces the consequences doled out by you, it sends a clear message that this is not all fantasy and that you have authority over him. In my opinion, when you punish your husband and he accepts it, it has a real effect on his psyche which elevates your authority over him and pushes him deeper into submission to you. The ultimate outcome is a husband that is obedient and doing everything possible to make you happy.



Make sex more devotional with less penetrative intercourse. Use his tongue a lot. Just watch how his balls get bigger and bigger. Regularly, leave him frustrated. He’ll be more assertive, more attentive, more eager to please.





Intensifying - whichever action you take, request or carry out, each time you repeat it, intensify it a little bit.



He confesses that he feels humiliated on occasion as I use him for my pleasure leaving him with an engorged penis and my secretions covering his face as I just walk away.  But this dynamic makes him even harder, so I discount it.



Submissive men have a need to serve, they want to be trained, held accountable and punished for their mistakes. This is all part of having a female authority in their lives. And they need the relationship to be real, not some game, something she does just to please him. But men and women think differently and women have a hard time, especially in the beginning, understanding the needs of a submissive man. They tend project their own feelings and their way of thinking into the situation.  Too many women see themselves as mean, selfish, arrogant and cruel. So they struggle to take on the role of the female authority in a femdom marriage …Know this, we are not being mean or selfish or cruel, instead we are giving our men the gift of servitude. Which just happens to be exactly what they want and need.




Your Control over him - It comes in waves, it comes slowly. The best part of it is seeing your sub accepting it, adapting to it and finally handing it over, completely. Even better is seeing him starting to anticipate everything, your wishes, your needs, etc. Even better then that is hearing no complaints, no cry-outs for what he is lacking. And even better then that is the sense of rush hitting your brain every time you realize he will obey anything.



The best way to dominate your man is to make him do things you know he doesn’t want to do, both  in and out of the bedroom.



Male orgasm denial has numerous benefits, but do you know the chemical reasoning behind them? Endorphins, hormones, neurotransmitters, and neurochemicals (neurochemistry) affect how we ALL think and feel. By controlling your mans orgasms, you can control their brain chemicals and can condition (train) them.




Orgasm control is a powerful psychological aspect for a submissive man, and you too will learn to enjoy your teasing and control. It is another important power exchange with you controlling the single physical aspect of maleness that is maleness alone, a hard cock and orgasm at will.


You should orgasm much more than he does. That goes without question, his submissiveness definitely translates into you cumming more. You need to teach him how to orally please you better, and as often as you like.




The more I feminize him, the more submissive and pliable he becomes.  I love watching him do a long list of chores in his maid outfit while I watch my programs.




All I have to do is threaten taking my husband out in his feminine attire and his behavior dramatically gets better.



His smooth muscular chest was covered in a lace corset. His tan athletic shoulders were looming over his constricted waist. All of the places that I held him were covered and pinched. I hadn't realized how much I loved his male body until he dressed as a woman.



Then I pointed to a pink bra on the bed and told him to put it on. He looked at me surprised.  I told him firmly to put it on and not ask questions.



Making him wear panties while caged, was one of the hottest ideas we came up with. You have no idea how extinguishing for his male ego this is, it’s not just a good idea, it’s bullseye.



Back rubs, foot rubs, leg rubs, body massages, anything you think you might like you should try, and then do as much as you like. He loves every minutes of doing anything for you, especially if he is physically close to you.


The only thing standing in your way of having everything you dreamed is your own head. Take your man, boss him around, hurt him, be a bitch. Don’t think about it. Just do it. You will see what happens. He will become more obedient. He will automatically start doing the chores. He will ask you what you need.  He loves you, and wants you to own him. Deep down, he needs to feel loved, wanted, and being your sex toy for some reason, shows him this more than anything else you could do. Because truthfully, a true sub with a woman doesn’t care about the specifics if you do this right, or that you do that right. He cares about you telling him what to do, and him having to comply…



If you want roses, you get them…
If you want back rubs, you get them…
If you want an orgasm, you get it…
If you want to come home to a clean house, you get it…





You may want to put him through a number of tests to ensure he can serve you properly and in all ways. You could include both domestic and intimate tasks. These would test his abilities to maintain the home or bedroom, as well as making sure he can anticipate and satisfy you every need and desire.
You could see if he can provide sexual pleasure for extended periods neither seeking pleasure for himself nor succumbing to his own lust spontaneously, particularly if he has been placed in chastity.



Don’t be afraid to adjust the rules to meet current needs. As people grow, things change. A rule that once made sense, may no longer be required, or perhaps something that was once strict needs to become more lenient (or vice versa).



Once he has had a taste of bliss serving you, and if you work with him, and spend some time training him, and fulfill his needs, all of your dreams will come true.  Dream it, ask it, order him to make it come true, and watch him scramble to make it happen.



You might also wish to assert your Dominance of him by choosing his clothes and other attire. This can include another less obvious collar which could be worn under clothing, cock rings, and chastity devices.



Tell him what to do, and expect him to obey immediately, without question. Remember, if you want him to treat you like a Queen, you have to act like a Queen.



You give him his dream, you receive what most women dream about, unconditional surrender, attention, time and being placed at an invisible pedestal.



I am now thoroughly convinced that no man can be so devoted to a woman as a submissive man can. And lets face it, most women want just that, devotion.



Never take a NO for an answer, never tolerate excuses. Be on top of things all the time. Step by step, disallow whatever you see fit. Train him into unquestionable obedience and humility.



As a service-oriented submissive it is your duty to strive to make the dominants life less stressful and more enjoyable.



In a FLR, discipline is a very important part. Disciplining your male sub, whether it’s about physical or mental, should definitely be presented on daily basis. Real submissive men learn they roles quickly and practically, they do not need discipline to keep them in line. However, levels of submission highly depend on discipline, more precisely the type of discipline.





I therefore suggest, if you are a dominant, you make absolutely clear the pleasure you get from each and every slice of adversity to which you subject your submissive. You can’t be shy about being cruel, about being a sadist. You must be bold about this. Make sure some adversity is simply for your pleasure and nothing more. Your submissive will be further in awe of you if you do. Your submissive will feel even more helplessly under your power.




I highly recommend some type of daily  ritual where the sub is required to do something in a D/s context.  This ritual will help the submissive mentally transition into a true submissive role in the relationship.


A nice benefit of rituals is once a ritual is established, the submissive knows exactly what to do. The Dominant partner does not have to worry about giving commands (unless they are part of the ritual) or telling the submissive what to do.  We have a bath ritual that I just love.    I just have to whisper to him, "get my bath ready."




Kink is certainly are a part of the FLR for many people, including myself, but they are only a small piece of the overall FLR.  The FLR is more about a lifestyle decision to accept the woman as the lead.  It is about the male embracing his obedience to his wife and striving to please her.  Life does get in the way sometimes but in a healthy FLR the underlying dynamic of the FLR remains intact during those busy times. 






I find that regular sessions in our female led marriage keep him from becoming lazy or forgetting his chores and responsibilities.  If I wait too long between sessions, he tends to slack off a bit or become lazy.  It's like maintenance on your car.  You have to take your car in for regular maintenance in order to keep it running in top condition.  You could always skip maintenance but your car will not perform at its best and overtime a break down will occur.  Discipline sessions are what keep your husband serving you at his best and prevent a break down in the relationship from occurring.  With regular discipline you should have less need for punishment.




Once you have established a female led relationship based on previous lessons, body worship is the next step.  Body worship is not a sexual act.  Anything from massage to masturbation or from giving her a bath and washing her hair to painting her nails or helping her shave.  It's about her.



Free Time: how he spends his free time is up to you. If he has been obedient and done all his tasks, you can treat him to a limited time where he gets to do an activity. Make sure he negotiates with you and gives you options. You ultimately decide how he spends his free time. It is important that free time is revoked when he has not been 100% obedient or dutiful. Instead of free time he has then earned corner time when he’s not working for you.





Your husband wants an FLR. But he won’t be able to keep to it at first. It is hard to change habits and develop new habits. You will need something to exert absolute control over him.
In my experience, the best way to control your husband is to take control over his finances. Instruct him to have his paycheck paid into an account you and only you control. Next, have him hand over control of all his accounts bar one. Every month, you can write him a check he can deposit into this account. That way, the worse he performs, the less money he gets and the more he feels his dependency on you.




Rigorously adhering to a schedule of weekly discipline session for a submissive partner is very important.  At a scheduled time each week, you and your partner know that you will have him over your lap, over the back of a chair, or over the edge of the bed for an extended session with the cane or what ever tool you select. This is the session that will fix that laziness and it provides the opportunity for you to vent your frustration – like a discharge of built-up electrical power. When the frustration and irritation is gone the spanking ends, and not before. Whats important here is that this is not ’ play time’ and this is not for his pleasure. Spankings are meant to hurt as your partner is supposed to actually learn from  the lessons you try to teach him.



Man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please Women… 





Yes.  I have Rules.  And Yes, you will obey them.
And Yes, you will love me for it.
Oh, Yes.



Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)



Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face.



He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. 



For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for additional humiliation. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.



Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Jealous

Over the last few years I have acquired a good selection of BDSM videos that are on my hard drive.  A good number of them were from when I was a member of the Kink.com family of websites.  Now my preference is Femdom videos, but I also saved a good portion of Male Dom, Female to Female, and even some transexual and gay BDSM porn as Mistress sometimes likes to watch those types of videos.

I don't watch these videos often.  Maybe if I or we are traveling, and very rarely at home.  Yesterday was one of those rare days.  I have a Roku video streamer and there is a channel on it that is connected these videos so we can watch them on any of our large screen TV's.  Mistress stepped out to get her nails done and run a couple errands. I was working from home doing some tedious online class for work, so I decided to have some entertainment playing in the background waiting for the online class to progress.  I went into the "all videos" section and decided on the letter P, hoping to find some predicament bondage.

I first watched a couple girls Domme a guy.  It was a lot of boring spanking and ass fucking, so I fast forwarded through much of the video until they made him cum and then made him eat his cum.

Then I watched a very short one where a guy was tied up in a jail cell.  The woman came in and stroked him to orgasm and then kept on stroking until he was begging her to stop.


The next one was a guy locked in chastity.  The only stimulation he gets is his Mistress kneads his balls until he has an orgasm.  After he cums she makes him fuck himself in the ass with a dildo to show his obedience after an orgasm.  That's devious.  


The next one I stumbled across was called Point of No Return.  It's from the Kink.com's Device Bondage.  Now this one is Male Dom which doesn't do it for me as much as Femdom does.  However in this case it did an awful lot for me.  Mainly because of how jealous I was of what this woman had to endure.  Just to be clear, most of what this woman goes through rides a fine line of being too much.  In every scene there are tears, screams, yelling in frustration, hopelessness, fear, pain, humiliation, exposure, degradation and for her, many, many orgasms. 

The first scene is my favorite, mainly because this one would be the easiest for us to duplicate at home.  The scene starts with the woman fully dressed and bent over in a stockade type restraint.  We have one of these in the basement, not exact, but close enough.  She is in heels, a dress, and panties.  I imagine she has been left in this position for some time, to wear her down both physically and mentally.  In this position she is to high to kneel and too low to get any relief for her lower back.  I am certain the heels are adding to her discomfort.  And now I am jealous wishing I could trade places.    


Picture of the stockade in our basement.  
The Dom comes in the room and fondles her for a bit to show her how helpless she really is.  He whips her enough to get her dancing in pain.  He then removes her panties and keeps whipping her.  Not too hard, but certainly not too soft.  After a bit he uses scissors to cut her dress off of her leaving her completely exposed.  Next come the clover style nipple clamps.  But he is extra mean and uses 3 sets of them.  While I would absolutely hate 3 sets, I am again jealous.  


After the clamps are on, he takes a string and ties it from the center of one pair of the nipple clamps and then has her bend her knees.  He then ties the ends of the string to each of her knees.


He then whips her a bit trying to get her to straighten her legs and pull the clamps off.  She resists and keeps her knees bent, so he steps it up.  He grabs a cattle prod and walks behind her.  She can't see it but she can hear it charging.  He tells her to straighten her legs.  She starts crying saying she can't.  He keeps telling her to do it, and gets more and more scared and frustrated.  Since she won't do it herself he tells her she is going to get shocked.  He makes her choose a leg.  


By now, her left leg is shaking uncontrollably.  I am sure there is some fear about it, but mostly being in this position for so long and not being able to change leg position.  Now at this point I am starting to feel real empathy for her.  I hate electricity.  I hate the thought of electric shock.  Even something mild compared to a cattle prod would have me reacting the same way she is reacting.  Electricity is one thing that puts true fear in my heart.  As much as it scares me and I would fight it, I am again jealous of this poor girl.

She eventually picks the right leg and he shocks her hard.  She jumps and one of the clamps gets pulled off of her nipples. She is in agony.  He backs off a bit and lets her regain her composure.  Her legs are still shaking while he strokes her skin.  After a short bit he starts back up and tells her she still needs to straighten her legs.  He tells her if she doesn't, she will get the left leg with the cattle prod.  Of course she begs him not to and he ignores her request.  He zaps her and she pulls the other clamp off.  He immediately puts a Hitachi on her pussy and in no time she has rebounded from the pain and fear.  As he rubs the hitachi on her pussy he takes off and puts back on the clamps, creating a pleasure/pain battle.  She is begging to cum, her legs are shaking, and I am certain her mind is an absolute mess.  What an amazing predicament bondage scenario.  All of that and I am super jealous of her.  

The next scene has her tied like this.

  
He puts suction devices on her nipple, pussy and clit until they are filled with blood and sensitive.  He uses a cane on her body as she screams in pain with tears in her eyes.  Then he gives her the Hitachi treatment again.  She is drooling all over herself while begging to cum.  Eventually he puts a clothespin zipper on her, from her armpits to her toes, while the Hitachi is buzzing her.  He makes her choose decide if she wants the zipper pulled before or after she comes.  She wisely chooses before.  As much as I would hate the zipper, I am jealous of her.



The last scene starts like like this.


She is tied to Sybian vibrating saddle.  She has a corset on. Her arms are bound behind her in a leather arm binder.  She has a very tight posture collar on around her neck.  Her hair is tied to the ceiling keeping her upright and from falling off.  Her feet are tied up and back so that she cannot use her legs to escape from the vibration.  For the next 30+ minutes he vibrates her pussy and clit while alternately whipping her, torturing her nipples and using a plastic sheet to cut off her air supply.  

Through all of this, she has countless orgasms.  Since he doesn't turn off the saddle, she goes from one orgasm to being too sensitive and into another orgasm again and again.  Not being able to have multiple orgasms makes me even more jealous.  All of this was fairly boring to watch, I had to fast forward through a lot of it, but I am certain it was not boring to have to endure.  You can see the look on her face several times as though she is in another world or having an out of body experience.  In the post scene interview he said he stopped the scene because he didn't think she would or could.  Hot!  


I imagine the next day she hurt from dead to toe.  Her feet from her shoes and from being whipped.  Her legs from trying to endure so many strenuous positions.  Her back from being bent over.  Her nipples from being clamped and whipped.  Her pussy and clit from all of the orgasms and vibrations. I also bet every time she thinks of this event she will get very wet and aroused.

Having to endure even one of these scenes let alone 3 on top of each other seems very difficult.  I am extremely turned on imagining myself having to go through something similar and so intense.  Being pushed in such a way that I would seriously consider using my safe-word (during electricity) and either not using it or not being allowed to have one.  Riding the line between torture and ecstasy would be such a mind fuck.  My cock strains against my device just thinking about it.  That made me pretty jealous of this woman and many like her.  



  

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Yearning for things that used to have issues with.

When I was writing yesterday's post about playing with chastity for 18 years, I came to a realization.  For so many years I hated chastity unless it was 100% tied to a D/s scene.  I would be into it if I thought I was going to get tied up or if there was some teasing involved, etc.  Any time those things would drop off, or life would get in the way or even worse, I would would get in an argument with my Mistress, I would instantly hate chastity.

That has changed for me over the last few years.  Now I accept this is who I am.  Do I prefer to have chastity tied to something?  Sure.  Does it suck to be locked up and not have anything kinky going on in our lives?  Absolutely.  Being locked is now a part of me.  Not because I like the device, but because I like what it symbolizes, my surrender to being fully controlled by my Mistress.

There is nothing hotter than to know that not only is my next orgasm fully dependent on Mistress, but so is any sensation my cock gets.  Surrendering my cock and forgetting about what is in it for me is a true mind-fuck.  Knowing that life can interrupt us and I will likely stay locked makes me feel so owned.  I now see myself begging to stay locked, where just a few years ago, I would go out of my way to avoid being locked up.  That is a real change.

I have also realized how far I have come regarding feminization.  Every since I was 7 or 8, I had a thing for women's clothes.  Not so much wearing them, but admiring them to a point of wanting to see how they felt.  At around 10 or 12 years old my sister caught me trying on a pair of my mom's pantyhose.  She yelled out loud what I was doing and my parents heard.  I was made fun of.  Not in a mean way, but in the way a family pokes fun at each other.  I of course denied it and ever since then have been challenged by the shame that comes with having a fetish like this.

Through out my teenage years I would borrower an item from my mom's drawer or the drawer of a friends sister.  I would wear whatever item it was, masturbate and shame would wash over me as soon as I came.  I would return or throw away the item and swear to never do anything like that again.

When I started living by myself I was able to acquire a few items and would hide them in a drawer.  I would use them occasionally and hide them away.  At some point I would go a little more extreme and when I did, the shame would come back and then the purge.

I dated during these times and in my longer relationships, I would share this part of me.  For the most part it was tolerated in the bedroom and with a sexual connotation.  When any of those relationships would end, I would be horrified that my secret was out and I would purge the acquired feminine items yet again.  I generally would only partake in this part of me 1-2 times a year on average.

In my first marriage my wife was more supportive of this part of me, but it was always used in a D/s way.  I was treated in a slutty, trashy way.  Heavy makeup, forced exhibitionism, and verbal humiliation were the primary drivers.  I don't mean that in a negative way, it was fun.  There is definitely something about that kind of play that gets a guy like me going.

That relationship ended and I half purged.  Kink was used as an excuse by my ex to end the relationship.  I knew I wasn't going to change, but I also wanted to separate myself from the kink that was being used to end my marriage.  I put almost everything in storage.

That brings me to my current Mistress.  Shortly after meeting Mistress we knew each other pretty well on a sexual level.  I was too old to not be upfront about my proclivities, and confided in her most of my kinks.  The feminization part of me took a bit longer to reveal to her, and when I did, her eyes kind of lit up.  She had me get me feminine things out of storage.  She made me try on every item and show her how I looked.  She made me get rid of any of the items that were not flattering or classy enough for her.  She wanted me to look good and to feel good about dressing up.  That first year, Mistress really helped me accept that this is a part of me.  We had some amazing scenes with me fully feminized and I no longer had the shame after an orgasm.  So now that I accept and yearn to explore more and more of my feminine side, the idea of being treated like a whore adds an element of erotic humiliation.

Over the last few years, Mistress has helped me grow my wardrobe.  I am now comfortable for the most part dressing up.  I am not yet to a point where I would dress on my own on a daily basis without it being some sort of an order with consequences for disobeying.  The societal taboo of being dressed as a woman is still strong in me after all of these years.  I still need some sort of coercion.

In closing I am amazed at how much Mistress has helped me grow in my submission.  It's all because she is the best woman I have ever known.  She has helped me accept who I am.  She has loved me and encouraged me through my insecurities about being a submissive guy with feminization fantasies.  She has made things I would never consider (24/7 chastity, wearing perfume daily, shaving my armpits, etc.) a part of my daily life.  There is no way I could ever go back, even if I wanted to.  I am so in love with my Mistress.

                

Monday, October 9, 2017

Ordeal in the cage

Shortly after finishing yesterday's blog post Mistress came downstairs around 7:30 am.  I made her coffee and she asked me what time the store opened.  I told her 10 am.  She said it was time for me to be caged and for me to get ready.

I went upstairs and inserted my butt plug.  I came back down stairs and then headed to the basement.  Mistress was to follow.  I grabbed the straight jacket from the toy closet under the stairs and headed into the room that had the cage.  I undressed.  As I was removing my bra and inserts I was wondering how they would feel under the straight jacket.  I sat on the floor and put on my 8-inch ballet heels.  They lace and have an ankle strap.  I put my feet through the loops that go between the legs to keep the jacket from being raised.  Once I was in, I arranged those straps against the butt plug and proceeded to put my arms in the jacket.  Mistress buckled the main straps and left the arm straps undone so I could climb in the cage.  Once in the cage she pulled the arm straps crossing my arms in front of me and tightly buckled it down.  I was left kneeling in the cage when Mistress latched it behind me.  She agreed that she didn't need to lock it as I was completely helpless.  She very unceremoniously turned of the lights and left the room. 

I sat on my knees for a few minutes until I realized I needed a more comfortable position.  I put my head on the ground and rolled onto my side with a thud.  After much more struggling I was able to get on my back.  I was stuck.  I spent close to the next 2 hours trying to find comfortable positions.  Once I found a relatively comfortable position it was only comfortable for about 10 minutes before pressure points would start hurting.  I also had to avoin laying my head on the bars of the cage.  I knew they went put impressions on my skull and we had to run errands when I got released. 

I repeated a phrase out loud several times about not talking back or talking down to Mistress.  I imagined having to repeat it for the entire time I was in the cage out loud.  We had a baby monitor outside of the cage so Mistress could easily require some such rule in the future.  I also tried to take a nap.  My mind was racing too much for that to happen.  I imagined putting the baby monitor on top of the cage with a rule that I am not allowed to shut my eyes. 

I also had many, many fantasies.  In the spirit of keeping from being a pushy bottom, I will generalize them here and not go into detail.  I fantasized about how to make the cage time even more uncomfortable or miserable.  I thought about Mistress making be do or say things things before I was released.  I also though about non-cage related things.  The longer I was in the cage, the darker and more depraved my thoughts became. 

At one point I was able to wiggle and shift my arms low enough to grab the the lock on my chastity device.  I was able to push and pull on the lock enough to get some friction on my cock.  I wondered if Mistress was seeing me do this through the baby monitor and whether I should stop or not.  After 60 seconds or so, my cock got hard enough that the friction stopped and my hand was cramping at the same time due to how hard I had to struggle to do this.  That experiment was fruitless.

The butt plug.  Wow.  The straps that go between the legs really pushed up against the butt plug.  Every time I moved to find a more comfortable position, the butt plug was reminding me of my situation.  It was pressed so tightly that even breathing made me feel it in my ass.  When I would sigh, the plugged pressed even further.  It was pressed so tightly inside me that when I would try to flex my sphincter it didn't move.   My ass felt thoroughly used by the time I was released. 

I have been locked in the cage 3 or 4 times before this.  This time was the worst by far.  It's the first time that the time in the cage seemed to be more than the actual time.  Mistress let me out 5-10 minutes early of the 2 hour mark and I was thinking she left me in for 30-60 minutes longer.  This was by far the most helpless I have ever felt.  She could have just as easily left me on the floor and I would have been just as helpless.  The cage just made it hurt more.  I have come to the realization that the cage is not something to joke about.  Just because she hasn't 'broken' me with the cage yet, doesn't mean she can't.  I don't think I want to try.

When she finally did release me I was in complete drunken subspace.  I could barely move to assist my own release.  Mistress had to take off the ballet shoes and come partially in the cage to release my arms so that I could get out.  She left the room as unemotionally as she started my ordeal.

Looking back on it this experience was very hot to me.  Not in a sexual way.  The cage sucked.  There was no intimacy with it.  There was no emotion with it.  It was a punishment and nothing more or less.  It was not erotic although I tried to make it that way.  It was detached.  The reason it was hot was because Mistress controlled me completely.  She was cruel.  She was emotionless.  She didn't give the appearance to care how I did with it.  The realization that she could be cruel or crueler to me is what made it hot.

The rest of the day was uneventful as far as D/s is concerned, although I was certainly worked up as much as I ever have been.

This morning Mistress and I snuggled a bit.  I was tracing my fingers on Mistress legs and butt.  I was about to get out of bed and Mistress reached out with her foot.  I stayed in bed for a bit longer.  I continued to trace my fingers along her legs, ankles and feet.  I would trace along her leg where it meets her ass.  I traced her hip area and her stomach.  I traced her arms and neck.  I purposely avoided sexual areas for quite some time.  I teased her chest and she didn't stop me from teasing her breasts and nipples.  I took that as a good sign.  I traced my way back down her body to her pussy.  She let me proceed.  I rubbed her clit for a bit.  Mistress generally doesn't let me rub her clit long as she enjoys penetration much more.  Because of this I teases the opening to Mistress' pussy.  She was nicely wet. I teased her some more and the I inserted my finger a bit more.  Mistress commanded me back to her clit, I was surprised.  I re-positioned myself on my knees and continued to rub her clit.  I nuzzled my face against her neck.  Mistress reached over and rubbed my balls.  She commented on how full they were.  I assured her that it was her cruelty that was keeping me so aroused.  In very quick order Mistress came and she stopped me.  I tried force myself on her until she made it clear I was crossing a line.  I backed off to avoid cage time.  I imagined this becoming a daily ritual.  Waking Mistress up at a set time with my fingers and if she allows with an orgasm for her.  If I am out of bed already, a text message summoning me for her morning pleasure or to deliver coffee to her upstairs. 

Mistress told me to get dressed and make her coffee.  I asked what I should wear today as it was a home office kind of day.  She said "whatever you want".  I asked for clarification and she said I didn't have to dress feminine.  I was bummed, but decided I could still dress feminine today since it was my choice.  I couldn't dress that way right away or I wouldn't have time to make Mistress' coffee so I ran downstairs my nighty to make her coffee. 

I then went upstairs to get dressed.  I sprayed on my perfume.  I went to my panty drawer and picked out a pair of panties.  I then went to my feminine closet.  I picked out a red dress but decided against it as I didn't want bra straps showing.  I put it back and grabbed a black and white dress to wear.  As I picked up a bra to wear, I got insecure.  I can't get dressed up if Mistress doesn't want me to.  Mistress has gotten me over 99% of my macho insecurity, but apparently I still need a bit of encouragement or even better, coercion.  I put the bra back down, took off my panties and instead put on some male casual clothes.

In closing, the cage was miserable, but at the same time I was in heaven. Heaven because Mistress owned me and controlled me 100% at that time.  I was completely helpless, at her mercy and wanting to serve her even more.  That's the way it should be.