I told her I thought the hottest thing about her being meaner, was that she loves me enough to do things to me that even she may not be comfortable with. I lamented about how I messed up in the beginning of our relationship by not submitting fully. We would be so much further along had I just let her have her way. I told her how I am wanting to do her bidding more than I have ever wanted to in my entire life, and how I have learned to let go of my macho male pride and accept my desires (no matter how depraved they may be). I told her how she has trained me to not be a pushy bottom and how to do as I am told or I won;t get what I need. After her hurting me some more and us talking about hurting me more, she got back on top of my cock. She came many times and squirted like I haven't felt in over 2 years. There was so much of her cum running down my ass crack, she probably could have fucked my ass with no lube. She got off em again and started stroking me. I bit my tongue and didn't say all the things running through my mind. I assumed if she wanted to know what I was thinking I she would have asked. She then asked me to ask her to cum, which I did. She brought me off very quickly and I spasmed from the joy of it all. She untied me and we had a nice soak in the hot tub. It was a perfect night.
As I wrote this many things came into my mind.
- I thought about how much Mistress gushed. I immediately fantasized about being tied on the floor underneath our St. Andrews Cross or a low bench we have. I would be tied face up with a ring gag in my mouth. Mistress would use the fucking machine and soak my entire face. I imagine her finishing up and then just leaving me in her juices. She would tell me she isn't untying me until I dry out.
- Mistress had mentioned about making me webcam dressed in women's clothes tonight. She instead decided I should go out. While I am happy to be able to go out, I would have happily done her bidding. There is a certain hotness to thinking I am under "house arrest".
- I tried to imagine the mean things she could do to me that would just make her drip. I am dying to see what goes through her mean, naughty mind.
- Lastly, Mistress had talked about me being in chastity while she is out of town. It's amazing how much I wanted to do that for her, but at the same time am thrilled I am not in chastity. While I dislike the comfort part of chastity, the control part of it is very hot. Obviously some part of me likes chastity or I wouldn't own such an expensive device, but being locked up and not also have other D/s going on is maddening. Such a dilemma.
I Love my Mistress So Much!
Marks from the ugly stick |
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