Last Night

Last night was one of the hottest D/s sessions Mistress and I have had.  Not because of anything extraordinarily kinky, but because of how wet Mistress got.  It started after work, we went to happy hour and had a bite to eat and a couple drinks.  We had been talking about having sex for a couple days, but hadn't made time to fit it in.  Mistress went on an overnight trip this morning, so last night was out last chance before she left.  We got home, did a couple quick things around the house then we went upstairs.  I got naked, Mistress through my wrist and ankle restraints at me and didn't need to tell me wht to do with them.  In short order I was tied down tightly to the bed and blindfolded.  She teased my cock with the Hitachi, her hand and hit the insides of my thighs with a couple of our nastier implements.  She then got on top of me and put my cock inside of her.  She came in less than a minute and she gushed quite a bit.  She immediately went back to stroking my cock, using the hitachi and hitting me everytime I would get worked up.  She then used the Hitachi on herself while hurting me and then brought herself to another orgasm while completely ignoring mine (5 stars for that).  She verbally taunted me about telling me about all of her orgasms she has without me around as well as taning me about making me listen or watch her have orgasms while I get none.  One of the implements she used was a thin rod called an "evil stick" and got me a few times on my inner thighs. I was in such sub space I asked her to use it on my cock and balls.  The cock barely felt it, but the balls certainly did.  While it hurt badly I could have certainly taken more from her.  Between a little bit of a buzz from our drinks as well as the space I get into when restrained, I was ready to endure whatever she had in mind.  I asked Mistress if any of my recent blog posts stuck in her mind, and she mentioned there were a few, but at the time could only remember one, about being meaner which I think is this one http://missbossybitchsboy.blogspot.com/2013/09/what-does-mean-mean.html

I told her I thought the hottest thing about her being meaner, was that she loves me enough to do things to me that even she may not be comfortable with.  I lamented about how I messed up in the beginning of our relationship by not submitting fully.  We would be so much further along had I just let her have her way.  I told her how I am wanting to do her bidding more than I have ever wanted to in my entire life, and how I have learned to let go of my macho male pride and accept my desires (no matter how depraved they may be).  I told her how she has trained me to not be a pushy bottom and how to do as I am told or I won;t get what I need.  After her hurting me some more and us talking about hurting me more, she got back on top of my cock.  She came many times and squirted like I haven't felt in over 2 years.  There was so much of her cum running down my ass crack, she probably could have fucked my ass with no lube.  She got off em again and started stroking me.  I bit my tongue and didn't say all the things running through my mind. I assumed if she wanted to know what I was thinking I she would have asked.  She then asked me to ask her to cum, which I did.  She brought me off very quickly and I spasmed from the joy of it all.  She untied me and we had a nice soak in the hot tub.  It was a perfect night.

As I wrote this many things came into my mind.

• I thought about how much Mistress gushed.  I immediately fantasized about being tied on the floor underneath our St. Andrews Cross or a low bench we have.  I would be tied face up with a ring gag in my mouth.  Mistress would use the fucking machine and soak my entire face.  I imagine her finishing up and then just leaving me in her juices.  She would tell me she isn't untying me until I dry out.
• Mistress had mentioned about making me webcam dressed in women's clothes tonight.  She instead decided I should go out.  While I am happy to be able to go out, I would have happily done her bidding.  There is a certain hotness to thinking I am under "house arrest".
• I tried to imagine the mean things she could do to me that would just make her drip.  I am dying to see what goes through her mean, naughty mind.
• Lastly, Mistress had talked about me being in chastity while she is out of town.  It's amazing how much I wanted to do that for her, but at the same time am thrilled I am not in chastity.  While I dislike the comfort part of chastity, the control part of it is very hot.  Obviously some part of me likes chastity or I wouldn't own such an expensive device, but being locked up and not also have other D/s going on is maddening.  Such a dilemma.

I Love my Mistress So Much!

Marks from the ugly stick

a couple things

Yesterday Mistress had me wear a pink camisole and pink pantyhose.  The hose are actually leggings that are very tight and restrictive.  I was in a wonderful state of mind all day yesterday.

This is what I wore...

While I was wearing this with the camisole, it made we wish for a whole body suit.  I remembered I have a black full body like below.  If only I had a pink :-)

Today I edged to this video.  We have all of the tools to make this scene a reality.  I imagine it would be fun until I came, then the relentless ass fucking and the Venus 2000 still sucking my sensitive dick.  Sweet torture.

link to video below

http://precious-her.tumblr.com/post/50370689778/1-jeez-2-sweet-set-up-3-howd-he-last-so

Restraints and feminine undergarments

As I write this I have my large butt plug in for over 4 hours.  I put it in immediately when Mistress ordered me to.  4 hours is a long time and I knew it I waited I might not get it done.  I am feeling like such a slut today, I decided to work out with it in even though today was a day for squats.  I am in quite the mood now after all of that stimulation.

My mind has been pre-occupied with the idea of being restrained with cuffs and leg irons.  Inescapable without a key or bolt cutters, easy to lock myself in without the key.  To add to the humiliation I found some pink ones.

Some images I have in my mind.

On top of being restrained I can't get feminization thoughts out of my mind.  I blame it on the nighty each night.  I have found these hot items over the last couple days. 

Severe

As I become more comfortable in accepting my submission and letting go of control, I can't help but think of the more severe aspects of D/s.  Some of the pictures I have seen online recently have really grabbed my attention.  Some of the pictures below scare the shit out of me, but at the same time I wish I was in them.  This is what I edged to this morning.

This 1st video is over 40 minutes long.  It is the type of caning I want to try sometime.  It's long, it looks insanely painful at times, but she really works with him to get him through it.  I would LOVE to be as bruised as he is at the end.  I can only imagine how wet my Mistress would get.  I edited it from the original 40+ minutes to something shorter to give an idea.

Original video here http://femdom-fetish-tube.com/video/3669/catarina.html

Edited version below.

Here are some other severe things I know I would hate at the time, but would reminisce about later.  I arranged the pictures below form most scariest to least scariest.

He is begging her not to shock his nipple with a stun gun.

Holy fuck that would hurt

Probably not as bad as the whippings below, but electricity scares the fuck out of me

Double shock, in chastity

Ow, ow, ow, ow

Disorienting

Pretty damn painful with little bits of skin

 Nice Marks.  

That's gotta suck.  

I don't know how to explain how this turns me on but it does.  

Cleared a hurdle

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, I was playing a game on my phone wearing my male clothes.  Mistress was in bed, ready for me to turn out the lights and go to sleep.  She didn't mention anything about my male attire either because she didn't think about it or she wanted to see what I would do.  In my own mind I was debating what to do.  I was feeling insecure about putting a nighty on.  I was slightly humiliated at the thought.  My male ego was trying to take over.  I debated a little bit more and decided I really want to do 100% of what my Mistress asks of me, even especially if I don't like it.  That is what true submission is about.  That being said, from about 4 am until I got up, I had many naughty thoughts running through my mind.  I woke up horny as could be.  I got through my self doubt, and submitted.  This is the first time I can ever remember of not letting my macho male ego get the better of me, and doing what I was told to do without it becoming an "issue" in my relationship.  I really feel my mindset changing and the pushy bottom part of me leaving.

For today's edge I thought about Mistress fucking with me this weekend.  Mistress will be going out of town this weekend for about 24 hours.  While I will likely just hang around the house or go grab a drink somewhere, I couldn't help thinking about other possibilities.    I edged to the idea of Mistress telling me to wear a bra and stockings with garters and my chastity device and having me go to a strip club.  Although I think it would be more fun having her with me for something like that.  I edged to the idea of her having me take her to the airport and/or pick her up, but I would be wearing womens clothes (jeans or slacks and a femme shirt, something not obvious but still a mind fuck for me).   If we didn't have our pets, I thought about her putting me in chains, shackles and chastity, naked and putting me in the dungeon and locking the door.  She would have webcams on me the whole time.  I would have a pair of bolt cutters in case of an emergency, but I would be in jail for 24 hours.  I imagined her locking me in the dog cage.  I would have to sit in it until she sent me the combination to the lock. I imagine her giving me a household chore or chores she wants done while she is gone.  I would be judged on how well I completed them.  I imagined Mistress teasing me with pictures of her or her taunting me about her slave at home.

I love my Mistress very much!

Today

As I write this I have a large plug in my ass and a lingerie set on under my clothes, waiting for my fingernail polish to dry.

My head is spinning and I am soooo horny.  Today I edged to the idea of Mistress making me wear more and more items and outfits.  Things that make me uncomfortable or fear being found out.  I imagined her verbally taunting me about what I am wearing or having me tied down and making me admit how much I love it.  I imagined her not letting me change out of my day lingerie until bed time.  Essentially I have to be in some form of femininity 24/7 as I do tend to be in male clothes in the mornings and evenings.  I imagined her telling me how much she likes pushing my buttons and how it turns her on to see me dressed (if it does) and humiliated (if it does).  I keep dreaming of more elaborate outfits both under my clothes and actual outfits.  There are some companies now making some pretty sexy clothes for men that wear women's clothes.  All I can think of is being MBB's naughty slut slave.

Mindset this week

I have been ordered to wear something sexy under my clothes this week.  Yesterday I chose pink leggings.  These were by far the sexiest feeling garment I have worn all week.  The leggings were thick and tight.  I almost felt like I was restrained while I was wearing them.  Every step I took I could feel them (even more than garters).  They smashed my cock down, so where I would normally have a bulge I had none.  That was a little emasculating, but in a good way.  All I could think of is "what if the person I am talking to knew what I was wearing".  While I was physically relieved to get out of them, mentally I was not.  It was kind of like being untied.  The discomfort went away, but the stimulation did too.

In addition to wearing something sexy under my clothes during the day I also have to wear a nighty to bed each night.  There is something different this time about having a standing order.  I have to think about what I want to wear.  I have to plan it and make it happen.  There can be no excuses or MBB will punish me by taking away D/s.  It's a mind fuck because I have to overcome my inhibitions and insecurity and just do it.  I have to own it and I have to accept that I like dressing up.  I am emasculated in a way that is so sexy to me, especially when she sees me in something sexy or naughty.  It affects me deeply in a very good way.

One thing about this week is I keep thinking "I wish I had this or that to wear".  I have imagined several outfits and sleeping clothes.  I can't help thinking this way.  I go into sub space just thinking about it.

Today's edge was me fantasizing about everything above as well as the concept below.

   

What I would have edged to...

I am extra motivated today so I didn't take the time to edge.  If I did I would have edged to the pics below.  What's interesting, I don't want to be in chastity or willingly open my mouth to eat cum, so how I find this so hot is beyond me.  Maybe it's because I don't want it that it's hot.  The last pic is today's under clothing sexiness.  It's pink, super tight and restrictive.  I will not be forgetting this today.

Today's edge and pics of me

So far I have been following my instructions without fail.  Yesterday I was to wear something "sexy" under my clothes.  I chose these lace leggings.

Today I chose white panty hose.  I'm not sure if they are "sexy" or not, but I feel pretty slutty in them.

I also wore a nighty as instructed.  It's hard not to have feminine thoughts when you are a guy sleeping in a nighty.  Now that I have cum recently, I still think about all the femme stuff, but my focus is back to immovable bondage and relentless teasing and denial.  Just thinking about being close to the edge and begging to cum and not cum at the same time.  Spouting off at the mouth, agreeing to anything.  Taking pain, wanting humiliation and discomfort.   My head just spins thinking about it.

I also edged to the thought of my cock buried deep in Mistress.  Making her cum again and again.  Holding her down and not letting the sensitivity go away while I keep fucking her.  Wow!  I could do this all day.  I need to get to work.

Obedience

On Friday afternoon Mistress was kind enough to initiate sex (because I still have such an issue with it).  It was quick, hot and messy.  And awesome.  There was no kink to it, which is fine as we needed to connect emotionally.  However Saturday morning we again had sex, and this time Mistress was whispering lots of kinky stuff to me.  She also gave me a list of demands.

First off me me start by saying THANK YOU MISTRESS.  Second, I have a habit of forgetting what Mistress mentions in the heat of the moment and apparently so does Mistress sometimes.  That being said I have started to ask clarifying questions and am also doing my best to follow instructions.  MBB has shown me that disobedience means we can go very long times without D/s, so my goal is to do everything and anything she tells me to do without question.

First, On Sunday I was to remove my pink toenail polish and put on some purple polish.  I did this yesterday without her having to remind me.  I have to admit, it looks pretty good and I liked the mental aspect of removing one color just to put on another.

Second, Starting last night I am to wear nighties to bed.  Now in the past I have asked her to not make it a standing rule as I find it hot to have her specifically telling me when to wear such items.  Recently though I have come to the conclusion that while it's hotter for me to tell me directly, it's me being a pushy bottom.  Once I got rid of that pre-conceived idea I have a new mindset.  I may very well be wearing nighties every night for the rest of my life.  I may like it, I may not.  Doing something the way she wants me to and not the way I want to is submission, and I want to submit.  Either way, I just got a mental buzz and a hard-on writing those last few sentences.

Third, I am to wear something sexy (which I take to mean feminine) under my work clothes each day this week.  I don't yet know what they will be, but the very prospect makes me feel owned as well.

Lastly, Mistress has mentioned chastity again.  Now anyone that has read this blog knows how I feel about chastity.  It's ok, and even be fun with an active participant, but it's easy to feel sorry for yourself when there is little activity.  Because there is a fair level of discomfort, it's easy to get cranky.  That being said, it's the same thought I had as above.  If Mistress does things the way I want, it's really her submitting and not me submitting.  If Mistress wants me in chastity, I want to be in chastity.  I want to please her, I want to demonstrate my obedience to her, and I want her to feel confident in her dominance of me.

MBB is a very good Domme, however I have pushed back too much in the past.  I cannot and will not let that happen again.  I will be as obedient as I possibly can no matter what she makes me do.  I love how wet she gets when she knows she owns my mind, body and soul.