Bra Discipline

Since I ran into the post about bra discipline, I can't seem to get my mind off of it.  I edged to it last week and ended up having to eat my pre-cum ( http://missbossybitchsboy.blogspot.com/2015/08/my-first-taste-of-new-rule.html ).

I decided to look into the e-book that was mentioned in the post.  OMG.  Not only is there "brassiere discipline", there is "put him in panties", "lingerie discipline" and "men as maids".  There is also a free e-book to each one.

http://www.brassiered.com/brassiered/imagine.html
http://www.brassiered.com/puthiminpanties/foreword.html
http://www.brassiered.com/maids.html

This also reminds me of a post I read a while ago.  I'm paraphrasing here but the post was essentially "my way of weeding out the true submissives from the phonies is by making them wear a bra.  Most subs will wear panties or a chastity device, but put them in a bra 24/7 and you soon see just how submissive they are.  Once they realize how uncomfortable they are, they want out.  Some will even stay in chastity to avoid a tight bra."

Instead of having Mistress read the book here are some quotes I found intriguing.  The first one is out of order because Mistress mentioned we should go shopping for nighties for me.  This made me think of that "You may choose to brassière him when going out occasionally, perhaps as a punishment, or you may wish to insist that he wears a bra for particular situations, for example, whenever you take him shopping, something that will tame even the most recalcitrant of men!"

• it has a strong deterrent effect 
  A man threatened with having to wear a bra knows that doing so would place him in an impossible situation, unable to explain his intimate attire were it to be discovered, yet requiring a certain amount of effort to prevent such discovery. 
• it encourages a more submissive state of mind 
  Once a man is trapped in the embrace of a brassière, he knows that he finds himself in quite a quandary! He has submitted to his wife and acknowledged that she is in charge of the situation. 
• it provides a constant reminder of its presence 
  It is difficult for a man to forget that he is wearing a brassière, both physically and psychologically. The pull of its elastic, the pressure around his chest and even the feel of its materials are all sensations he is unlikely to have experienced from any of his regular clothing. Moreover, the constant fear of discovery, coupled with the vigilance required to avoid being found out, leads to a sense of being kept on edge, making it impossible to ignore a brassière's presence for any length of time.
• Threaten him with having to wear a bra 
  Even if your husband has yet to wear a bra, merely the threat of having to do so can be very powerful, particularly if he has already shown a strong aversion to the idea. If the thought of having to wear a brassière causes him to freeze with horror, filling him with dread at the prospect of being placed in such an embarrassing predicament, simply suggesting that he do so should be sufficient to stop him in his tracks and return his thoughts to your needs. .If your husband is already brassièred, you can achieve a similar effect by threatening to make his discipline more severe, either by prolonging the time he must spend so attired, or by having him wear a brassière that is even worse. 
• make him wear a bra occasionally as a punishment 
  For your threat to have meaning, you must be prepared to carry it out from time to time, not least to avoid your husband calling your bluff. Fortunately, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't make him wear a bra if he misbehaves, either straight away if you are alone together, or later if doing so is not immediately practical. 
• make him wear a bra whilst doing household chores 
  It is best to fix a regular time for your husband to undertake the chores, presenting him with his brassière immediately prior to him starting work. It should be made clear to him that he will remain brassièred until everything has been completed to your satisfaction, with any sign of him having made insufficient effort being dealt with accordingly.
• make him wear a bra around the house 
  Of all the places where you can make your husband wear a bra, by far the easiest is within the privacy of your own home.  Initially, you may wish to choose the occasional evening for him to be brassièred, perhaps presenting him with something suitable to wear when he returns home from work, but in time, such occasions should become more and more frequent until you insist that he wears a brassière whenever he is at home. 
• make him wear a bra when going out 
  Whilst having to wear the most feminine of garments in private is already a most effective means of discipline, thanks to the unique connotations of the brassière, having to do so in public presents your husband with the additional concern that someone might discover what he has been made to wear. You may choose to brassière him when going out occasionally, perhaps as a punishment, or you may wish to insist that he wears a bra for particular situations, for example, whenever you take him shopping, something that will tame even the most recalcitrant of men!
• make him wear a bra to work 
  For many men, the eight or more hours spent at work each day constitutes the longest period of time they spend apart from their wives, and thus proves to be the most beneficial part of the day as far as brassière training is concerned.
• make him wear a bra to sleep 
  Many women with larger breasts find they benefit from wearing a brassière at night as well as during the day. Although your husband is unlikely to require the support that doing so provides, that does not stop you insisting that he wears a bra to bed too. Waking up to find that he is already brassièred from the night before is a very profound experience for a man, reminding him of his position in your relationship right from the very start of the day. 
• make him wear a bra twenty four hours a day, seven days a week 
  Although you might expect such men to grow so used to being brassièred that it no longer has any kind of disciplinary effect, this is far from the case! Regardless of whether a man has been wearing a brassière for one day or for ten years, he will still have the same dilemma as to how he can adjust his bra straps without anyone noticing his embarrassing secret, whereas an uncomfortably tight punishment brassière will remain just as difficult for him to wear, offering just as much discouragement from misbehaving again.

• make him wear a bra that is too tight  The simplest and most effective way to make your husband's bra wearing more uncomfortable is to have him wear a brassière that is too tight. Wearing such a bra will soon become very irritating, causing the man unfortunate enough to be trapped inside to want to endlessly fiddle with it in a vain attempt at obtaining relief. Worn in a public setting, the man in question is in quite a predicament, knowing that any attempt at adjusting his brassière must be done in private so as to avoid the risk of discovery.  Longline bras are ideally suited for use in this way, as are basques, particularly those with additional boning to help mould the figure. The extra length of such foundation garments serves to constrict much more of the upper body, with an effect that is not dissimilar to wearing a modestly laced corset.

How do I make the punishment fit the crime?

• a husband who removes his bra without permission 
• should be locked into a punishment bra, so that he understands he has no choice over when or where he is brassièred.
• a husband who complains too much about his bra 
  should be made to wear an uncomfortably tight bra, to show him how reasonable his regular brassières are.
• a husband who slovenly allows his bra straps to remain slipped 
  should be made to wear a bra whose straps will not stay put, and chastised each and every time they fall.
• a husband who ogles other women's chests 
  should be given breasts that are undeniably feminine, to understand what it is like to have his chest stared at.
• a husband who is caught with pornography 
  should be given huge breasts that are awkward and cumbersome, to teach him that women's bodies are not just for men's pleasure.
• a husband who is too cocky or has an attitude problem 
  should be made to wear a bra that is difficult to hide, keeping him on edge with a constant fear of discovery.
• a husband who does not do his chores or keeps going out 
  should be made to wear a bra that cannot be hidden, to prevent him from leaving the house until you decide he should.
• a husband who has been rude and demeaning towards women 
  should spend some time wearing only feminine lingerie, until he understands his place.

I've clearly fantasized quite a bit about this.  This could be one of those "be careful what you wish for moments".rt.

The Power of Clothing

Last week Mistress and I did some traveling.  When I was packing my suitcase, I was feeling particularly submissive.  Normally when I pack, I pack my male underwear and lounging clothes and I might throw in a pair or 2 of panties and a nighty.  When I do that, I have options.  This time I set myself up so that I had no options.  Not only did I not pack any make underwear, I packed panties that were super feminine, frilly and tighter than my normal panites.  I also packed 2 nighties that had heavy bra padding and one that is the most humiliating one I own.

So all last week I wore panties that I could not take my mind off of.  Every time I went to the bathroom I was reminded of how feminine they were.  A few of the pairs left indentations in my skin because of their design.  I was in subby heaven.  Every morning I woke up super turned on.  One night Mistress and I had a disagreement.  The next day we spoke very little.  That would normally be a day I would switch to my male underwear to prop up my male ego.  Because of how I packed that wasn't an option.  Instead I picked the least feminine pair I could.  Needless to say, my ego was put down fairly quickly.  I woke up early every morning with lots and lots of dirty thoughts.  I kept going back in my mind to my last post about "brassière discipline" which I will write another post about soon.

Mistress didn't have me wear nighties for the first few nights, but she did the last couple nights.  One of those nights I wore a nighty right after an orgasm.  Needless to say I didn't want to wear it, but I did.  Even after the orgasm I was back to a very heightened state of horniness due to the fact I was wearing my sluttiest nighty.  I feel like such a slut when I wear it.  The picture below is close to what I am talking about.

It amazes me the power clothing has over me.  I can't help but be overwhelmed by naughty thoughts when wearing women's clothes and even more so when I am forced coerced into wearing naughty items.  I love it when Mistress has me wear things (even when I hate it).  It goes straight to my brain.

  

My First Taste Of A New Rule.

Mistress has a new rule.  The rule is I can edge, but if any cum comes out I have to lick it up. That happened today.  I was edging to some breath play videos and pictures, but made sure not to get too close to the edge.  Then I saw Strict Julie's Blog had an update.

Here was the quote that set my cock to leaking...  the book has an interesting take on bra discipline. More subtle. Very elegant. Very subtly humiliating. Designed to curb a man's behavior almost willingly. She suggests coaxing a man into a bra, and then tying his sexual release to his willingness to wear his bra, with the goal of eventually having him docile and brassièred 24x7. Punishment then means being locked into a more uncomfortable brassière, or a brassière that's harder to hide when out at work, or having to wear very large DDD breast forms under his brassière around the house or for chores, or even inviting other (trustworthy) women such as best-friends or female relations to be made aware of his brassière training. Lovely material, whether true or just lovely fantasy. And of course, one obvious application of brassière discipline is pointed out in the book as follows.  "a husband who ogles other women's chests should be given breasts that are undeniably feminine, to understand what it is like to have his chest stared at."

That punishment would certainly fit this particular crime!

That was it.  I dribbled.  I stopped reading so as to avoid further leakage, but know I will come back to the post.

The post spoke to me since Mistress and I were fantasizing the other night about her being meaner to me and finding ways to humiliate me publicly, especially on an upcoming trip.  So this one paragraph pushed me further than I planned on going.  Here is me doing what I said I would do...

It doesn't taste so bad when I am all worked up like I am.  Post orgasm cum is a whole other story.  

Here is the entire blog post that got me going.  http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2015/08/summertime-wandering-eyes-hot-bottom.html

Husband wants to be a Girl for the Night

I use an app that keeps track of a large list of blogs that I'm interested in.  That way I don't have to go to each blog and when there is an update it just shows up in my list of blogs.

There is one blog that I have frequently quoted (Strict Julie Spanks) and today is another one of those days.  While I am a little jealous of the husband of the blog writer, she is probably a little too extreme for me.  Either way, her blog is really good for some exciting stories.  Her most recent on that got my blood (and other parts) going.

 Here are some of the quotes that jumped out at me.

"Morning of I told him his wish would come true that evening. He would be made into a complete girl and treated as such by me."

"It was now time for my little bitch to suck cock."

"She wanted to be a "badly treated" girl for the night? She got her wish."

"I immediately scooped it all up and fed it to her. Every last drop I could get. I told her to hold it in her mouth and not swallow, or else!"

Here is a link to the full, very hot story...  http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2015/07/husband-wants-to-be-girl-for-night.html

A Fantasy Story

On Saturday morning Mistress and I woke up ready for sex. As soon as we got going, Mistress started verbalizing with a lot of things she knows gets me over the edge.  This story is a result of the last couple days thinking about what we talked about.

Mistress walked in the door after work.  I was expecting her as it was our "date night".  As she walked in she said "before we go out, I want to discuss something with you".  I asked her what it was she wanted to talk about.  She said, "get a bottle of wine, 2 glasses and meet me in the bedroom" and she walked out.

I went to the wine fridge and picked out a Sauvignon Blanc that she likes.  I opened the bottle, grabbed 2 glasses and headed upstairs.  Mistress was sitting on a bench we have at the foot of our bed.  She was still in her work clothes that consisted of a mid-length skirt, blouse, and sexy heels.  "Pour me a glass and get naked", she said.  I blushed and poured her a glass.  Then I blushed some more as I started to undress.  It was awkward getting undressed as I had just dressed for our date night.  Once I was naked, Mistress said "go put on your nighty that is hanging on the closet door knob."  Occasionally Mistress has me wear a nighty to bed.  I went to the closet and put it on.  I smoothed it over my body including my cock that was now sticking straight out.  "Hurry up!", she said.  "I'm hungry and looking forward to sushi."  I came out of our bathroom with a sheepish look on my face.  I have no idea what is going on.  I'm aroused but also a little ashamed.  "Come over here and kneel at my feet".  I do as instructed.  This is something different.  Mistress is not a big fan of making me kneel.  I couldn't tell you the last time that she had me kneel, but I think it goes back to when we first started dating.

"It looks like someone is excited to be in your situation" she said as she looked down at my cock poking up at a 45 degree angle through my nighty.  "Are you excited slut?" she asked.

"Yes Mistress, excited and scared."

"Don't be too scared, I'm not going to hurt you.  When we were having sex a couple weeks ago, didn't I tell you I wanted you to surprise me with a couple new nighties?"

"Yes Mistress"

"Have you done this?"

"No Mistress" I said as I cast my eyes downward, embarrassed.

"Didn't I also tell you I wanted to start seeing some more feminine items under your male clothes?"

"Yes Mistress"

"Then why are you wearing male underwear on our date night?"

"Because I wasn't..."

"Don't give me excuses" she said as she cut me off.

"What do you think your punishment should be?" she asked

"A spanking Mistress?" I suggested.

"No, you will like that too much, plus I want you to punish yourself.  I don't want to have to have tp put any effort into punishing you.  Do you remember what else we talked about a couple weeks ago?" she asked.

I had a puzzled look on my face when she said "we agreed that you would eat your cum if you were edging and/or masturbating and came.  Have you cum without my knowledge since then?"

"No Mistress", I said looking into her eyes.  "There is no way I could do that after an orgasm.  It's too gross and I don't have the willpower to do that on my own.  Before I cum is one thing, after I come is another".

"That's what I was afraid of." she said.  "I'm going to give you the willpower you need.  I want you to start stroking.  You are going to have an orgasm in your hand and you are going to eat it.  If you don't cum, or if you don't eat it, you will go into chastity until you do.  We will do this every day until you succeed"

I started to open my mouth to say something but before I could Mistress said, "start stroking".

I was already hard and started stroking my cock.  After about 10 strokes, Mistress said, "I almost forgot something."  She got up and when to her night stand.  She dug around for a second and pulled out a realistic looking dildo.  "Remember?  A couple weeks ago you said you wanted to suck a dildo too."  I thought about arguing about that being under different circumstances but thought better.  Mistress came back to the foot of the bed, put the dildo in front of my face and said "open up".

I went back to stroking and Mistress pushed the dildo a little deeper in my mouth.  She said, "don't let it fall out and don't use your teeth.  When you are ready to cum, I want to you to ask permission with that cock in your mouth".

I continued to stroke and what Mistress did next both excited me and shocked me.  She pulled out her phone and took pictures and videos of me in my nighty, on my knees, stroking my cock with a dildo in my mouth.  "These pictures and videos will be my little way of reminding you of what a little slut you are.  I will send them to you when you least expect it.  You will be out with friends and I will send one to you.  You will be ashamed inside, but will think of how I fulfill your needs."

"Also, we are going to keep doing this cum training until I know I can trust you to eat your cum without hesitation.  Whether it's in your hand, in my pussy or on the bed sheets, I want you to crave it,"

"Msssttrrsss, may hh i hh cum" I mumble around the dildo.

"Not yet, let me get my video going" she said.  "Yes, now you may cum, catch it in your hand, and don't you dare spill a drop."

I point my cock downward into my hand and let loose.  My hand quickly fills up and I look at Mistress pleadingly for her to stop this.  She takes the dildo from my mouth, takes the tip of it and swirls it around in the cum sitting in my hand.  She gets a large amount on the tip and says "open up, or you can put on your chastity device and we can do this again tomorrow."

For a brief second I consider the chastity device, but realize I can't stop this forever.  I open my lips and she puts the cock in my mouth.  Only then to I realize that she is still filming this.  I am  more than ashamed.  She dips it in the cum again and puts it to my lips and says "wow, it looks like someone is enjoying this.  Are you enjoying this slut?"

"No Mistress." I say with a frown on my face.

"Don't worry, you will soon enough.  Now lick your hand clean, put all of this stuff away, get dressed for our date and then you can have a glass of wine to wash that cum taste out of your mouth.  Oh, and since you didn't think enough to wear something sexy under your clothes earlier, put on a bra, panties and some suspender stockings under your male clothes.  I may want to take advantage of you when we get back"

"Hurry, I am hungry!"

Panty Thief

Mistress and I have a lot of clothes.  I have my male clothes, probably 1/3 doesn't get worn but once a year if ever.  I also have a lot of femme clothes that I have accumulated over the years.  Those clothes as well don't get worn very often either, darn it :-)

 At some point a year or three ago, Mistress put a bunch of her clothes in storage.  A large suitcase has bras, panties, night wear, naughty bedroom clothes, etc.  I run across these frequently when looking for something else in our basement.  Due to my recent orgasm free weeks, I ran across these clothes and started thinking.  She hasn't worn these in some time.  I guess she doesn't want them.  I wonder if anything will fit me.  I went through the items and came across 3 pairs of panites that might fit me, and would also hold my cock and balls.  I have many pairs of panties, but a fair number of them do nothing to hold me in.  Sometimes thats a good thing, because you can never forget you're wearing panties.  The bad thing is all you want is to get into something comfortable.

So I took the 3 panties and put them in my drawer.  The next day I wore a pair of nice smooth green boyshorts and that evening Mistress asked what I was wearing and asked to see them.  I showed them to her and she said she had never seen them before.  I assured her that she had seen them.  She swore she didn't.  Red faced I told her where I got them.  She seemed very surprised.  I had fully intended on her finding out, but not this way.  I was looking forward to seeing her face on laundry day to see her expression or during some teasing session where I tend to over confess.

Yesterday I wore another pair, and again Mistress asked to see them.  I showed them to her and she seems to be a little shocked, but I don't think it's a bad shock, more of a surprise.  Now I have never worn a pair of her panties and hadn't ever thought of wearing the ones in her drawers.  I have fantasized about making me wear a pair of her dirty ones as a punishment or for humiliation, but have never done it on my own.  Being that these panties hadn't been worn in so long made me feel OK in taking them.

Now she is playfully calling me a thief.  Just thinking about it makes me think of all of the stories I read when I was younger about what happened to guys that got stealing panties.  It's a common theme in the female dominant world.  It also reminded me back to when I was a teenager and stole panties from a few different girls and women.  Thank goodness I never got caught back then.

I'm so turned on writing about this I was on Target's website looking for something similar to Mistress' panties.

Tonight is a date night for us.  We are going to try and bring back a night from our first year of dating.  We would go out, come home after a couple drinks, go straight to the bedroom and have naughty time.  It's been ages since we have done it so I am particularly looking forward to tonight.  

The effect of smell

So I followed through with my plan yesterday.  I took a bath in perfume while I shaved.  The smell put me in a very naughty space.  I finished shaving and put lotion all over my body.  The lotion smell took away the perfume smell from my bath, so I was happy I saved a little of the perfume for afterward.  I got dressed in some very lacy panites and then put on a light pink lip balm as well as some black mascara.  I have only worn clear mascara out of the house so of course I thought everyone would notice.  I made sure any of the mascara that had clumped was removed which I think made it very passable.  As I was walking through the store I would get  a whiff of the perfume.  Every time I smelled it a small lightning bolt would go to my brain and my cock.  All through the night I would smell the perfume and get a little aroused. Even during the night I would turn over in bed, get a smell of my perfume, feel the nighty Mistress had me wear and I would melt a little bit inside.  I learned that smell is very powerful and I fantasize about Mistress incorporating smell into our day to day as well as our play time.

I woke up in my nighty and got out of bed.  Every morning that I wake up in a nighty there is a mix of shame and arousal.  I don't think I could have one without the other.  The arousal makes me ashamed and the shame arouses me.  Especially when Mistress sees me, and even more so when she says something to me.  It's hard not to slip into subspace a bit when you are a man traipsing through the house in a nighty.  It humiliates me (in a good way) and excites me.  I truly appreciate that Mistress seems to get something out of putting me in a nighty.

Lastly, I find it interesting that the longer I go without an orgasm the more I think about my feminine side, humiliation and chastity.  With more frequent orgasms I am more into the BDSM and pain part of me.  I'm sure there is a reason, but I'm betting it has to do with testosterone dropping and estrogen rising when denied.  It's kind of hot to think about that...  The brain is a funny thing, especially mine.

  

Post before I chicken out

According to the page I track my orgasms on, I just passed the 3 week mark for an orgasm.  That's my orgasms.  I certainly hope Mistress has been making herself cum while I go without.  I find that when I get past 2 weeks my thoughts, fantasies and actions get much more bold.

For example, this morning, I was watching a couple Divine Bitches samples and edging myself.  Before I even got hard I started to feel like some cum was starting to escape so I stopped touching myself.  Before long a large drop of cum oozed out of the tip of my penis and the hole in my piercing.  Normally I would grab a paper towel or kleenex and clean it up and keep edging, but in the mood I was in I said "what the hell".  I scooped up the cum between my finger and thumb and cleaned it off with my tongue.  I tried to edge again, but between the cum, my spit and more cum, I was too sticky and I couldn't get the right feeling.  So I milked what I could and kept feeding it to myself.  I would say I managed to get 3 drops the size of the cotton end on a Q-tip into my mouth.  It didn't taste bad, or my horniness made it seem to not taste bad. I had the stickiness in the back of my throat for about 30 minutes.  Reading that back I am ashamed to admit I did that.  I feel like such a slut.

Before I got carried away I stopped and went to go work out.  But before I did I changed into these workout shorts.

While working out I planned the rest of my day.  I have a few hours of work to do in which I will keep wearing my femme workout shorts.  After that I will go shave my body, however this time I am going to mix a vial of perfume from my bag of makeup in my bathwater.  After I get my body free of hair I will put on a naughty pair of lacy panties.  If I don't chicken out I will also put on some clear mascara (or black if I am brave), tinted lip balm and a couple drops of the perfume I bathed in.  I will get dressed in men's shorts and a shirt and will go to the grocery store for items for dinner.  

I am going to post this and get to work before I chicken out.  It certainly is somewhat of a mindfuck about being this horny and the things I want to do....

Perfect Description

I saw this online the other day.  Although it's written by a woman, change out a couple of the words and it perfectly describes how I feel most of the time.

Today I am having one of those days where my entire being is aching to be used and controlled and tortured. It’s one of those days where I want to be pushed hard and cruelly. Where I want someone to laugh at my moans, laugh at the idea that it might be too much for me. To tell me that it doesn’t fucking matter what I want, that I will keep going until they are done with me. That they are having such a good time playing with their toy that they could just keep at it all day. That my tears are just a bonus for them. That they want to see me suffer for them. 

Today I want dark and cruel. Bound tightly, spread wide open. The sounds of others getting to cum playing over and over in my ears, while they cruelly keep me far away from the edge. Where they take their time, spending hours touching every inch of my body before even going near my desperately aching pussy. My eyes forced to watch how my empty pussy spasms as they touch me, so desperate, so wet, and so achingly neglected. Watching as my hips struggle to move against the bonds. Watching how every once in awhile a finger hovers teasingly over my clit, always managing to just avoid touching it, and the laughter that follows as my pussy spasms wildly anticipating the touch, overpowering the sounds in my ears. The sounds of orgasms slowly becoming the sounds of conditioning. At first one phrase every few minutes “Good tease toys love to suffer” “Good tease toys love to ache”. Gradually taking on more and more of the recording until the recording has completely taken over my mind. “Good tease toys love being tortured”. Desperate begging and moans replaced with whimpers as my resistance is overcome. Complete submission to my teasing reality.

That’s when I feel the first gentle teasing touch of a feather against my clit.

Told what to wear

I am learning that there is something very hot about being told what to wear by Mistress.  Even something as simple like what I should wear when we go out.  From wearing panties to stockings or a bra under my male clothes.  From wearing a nighty at night to full on crossdressing with makeup.  From restraints or a butt plug to being told to put on my chastity device, being told what to wear pushes my submissive buttons very well.

Right now I find myself a victim of yesterday's horny post.  Mistress had me wear a nighty to bed with the instructions that I can't take it off until she tells me to.  She did allow me to put additional clothes on so I wouldn't get cold, but that's not an issue.  I put on a pair of panites to that my cock wouldn't stick out.  I'm not cold, I'm trying to maintain some modesty.  Just writing about it is making my cock so hard.  

Mistress is currently in bed asleep.  So me being in my outfit is only mildly humiliating.  I know when I hear her get up I will have butterflies in my stomach.  When she comes down the stairs I will get anxious.  When she sees me in my nighty and panties I will die of humiliation just a little bit.  As I make our breakfast dressed this way I will second guess myself about this side of me.  

At the same time I want Mistress to verbally taunt me, to touch me and make me aware of my situation.  I want her to make me pose in my outfit or to even take pictures of me to tease me about.  Essentially take my humiliation and anxiety and twist a knife in it.  As humiliated as I would be, my submissive core will be fed.  I don't know how to explain it, but just thinking about humiliation makes me hard.  

I am a lucky slave!

   

one more jealous post

The other day I lamented about how good some guys look as girls  These pics made me want to dress up very much.  I really like that you think it's a girl until you see his cock locked in his chastity device.

Inspired by the last 2 day's posts

Yesterday and the day before I had some pics posted from http://deviantdisplay.com  Seeing him all around his house dressed like a slut inspired me.  So yesterday I put on a dress, some panites that showed their polka dots through the dress, my breast forms, a wig and some high heels.  I then took some pics using our security cameras.  Last night I was a little drunk and very horny so I showed one to Mistress last night.  I wasn't sure I was going to confess my naughtiness, but now she knows so here it goes.

More from yesterday

Mistress forgot to have my put on my nighty last night.  I was happy to not wear it, but also secretly wanted to wear it.

This morning I fantasized about waking up in my nighty, getting out of bed and then going to the bathroom.  I would come out of the bathroom and would start taking off my nighty.  Mistress would stop me and then tell me I can't take off the nighty until she leaves the house for work.  She would then tell me to go make her lunch.  I would be mortified, but also extremely aroused.  The humiliation of prancing around the kitchen in a super short nighty would go a long way.   Then my mind had an even more evil thought.  Her telling me to be in the nighty (or some other outfit) when she got home from work. eek!

Mistress liked my post from yesterday.  She particularly liked that last few photos.  Here are more from that blog.  http://deviantdisplay.com/

Today's Mood

I am a guy's guy.  I like to workout and I like to have muscles and show them off.  I grow my facial hair even though I think it makes me look older.

Now take that above paragraph and contrast it with how turned on I get thinking about and wearing women's clothes.  Mistress has had me wearing nighties again and I have been wearing panites on my own but even that sometimes makes me insecure.

So although I am conflicted, I have found an amazing Mistress that accepts (and I believe enjoys) seeing me in feminine attire.  It makes my head spin when she gives me feminine orders.

While I like being a very masculine man and wouldn't change that, these guys gurlz make me a little jealous.