Showing posts with label Teasing and Denial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teasing and Denial. Show all posts

Saturday, September 29, 2018

Addicted To Desperation

Last night I was in bed in my nighty waiting for Mistress to come to bed.  When she came into the room she told me to get some towels.  That's how she tells me she wants to be fucked and given a good orgasm or 3.  As I got out of bed I took off my nighty.  She told me to put the nighty back on, which made my dick swell.

I love having to wear feminine attire in front of Mistress.  I love the erotic humiliation.  I feel shame, but a the same time accepted, which makes the shame a turn on.  I love how being dressed makes me less likely to be disobedient.  I love being encouraged to wear something feminine.  I wish I could be OK dressing up myself, but I am not there yet. 

As I put the towels on the bed, Mistress told me that she didn't get a chance to read my post from that day.  She asked me what I wrote.  I told her I would tell her as soon as my cock was inside her.  Mistress was in bed and I got on top of her.  In no time, Mistress's hands were underneath the bra of my nighty and she was pinching my nipples.  As I eased my cock into her I started to tell her about my post from that morning.  I told her about LOCK-tober, NO-vember and DENYcember which is a thing nowadays with those practicing chastity.  I told her how this year I am running behind last year as far as my time locked up.  Mistress jumped on this immediately and told me that I would be participating in all 3 months of this unless we were traveling.  I assured her I can stay locked up while traveling as well. 

We continued to talk while having sex.  Mistress told me that I needed to start wearing my collar again.  She told me to get my toenails painted this morning.  She also told me that she soon would be tying me up.  All of this talk got me fucking Mistress hard.  In no time she had one of the strongest orgasms I have felt in a long time.  She squirted all over my cock and came hard.  It seemed like all of that talk was getting her going as well.

Mistress then closed her legs with me still in her.  This is the position she likes to tease me.  We continued to talk.  I told her how much I love it when she is mean to me.  When she hurts me.  When she makes me dress up feminine. When she locks up my cock.  Mistress then told me to cum.  I begged her to not make me cum.  I told her I would do anything she asked me to.  I told her I wanted my last 3 weeks of denial to still be with me.  I dreaded the idea of cumming and having to go straight into chastity.  I dreaded the idea that she might make me clean my cum up with my mouth.  Mistress relented and told me to get off of her without cumming.  I tried to stay inside her and enjoy the feeling I knew wouldn't be feeling any time soon.  Mistress told me to go put my device on immediately.

As I struggled to put my device on my still hard cock, my head was spinning.  It has been quite sometime since Mistress cared about whether or not I wore my collar.  I love wearing it as it's a constant reminder of me relinquishing myself to her.  I love it even more when she wants me in the collar.

I climbed back into bed, locked and still in my nighty.  I gave Mistress a series of kisses as I thanked her for the privilege of being inside her.  I thanked her for locking me up.  I thanked her for not letting me cum.  I assured her that she can do whatever she wants to me and I will love it, even if I don't at the time.

I had a tough time sleeping last night with my libido so high.  But it was exactly what I needed.  This desperation and desire is like a drug to me and I am addicted. 

   

Friday, September 28, 2018

LOCK-tober, NO-vember and DENYcember

In 2016 I spent 70 days in chastity.  In 2017 I spent 103 days.  So far this year, it's only been 64 days.  I need 40 more days to beat last year's record.  Here is my tracker https://missbossybitchsboy.blogspot.com/p/chastity-tracker.html

I had hoped to be in chastity for 365 days this year, but as usual, reality is different than fantasy.  Even if I was locked up the rest of the year, it would only be 150 days or 5 months total.  That would be hot.

While I haven't been locked, I have been much more faithful to my orgasm denial regiment.  Here is that tracker https://missbossybitchsboy.blogspot.com/p/history-of-orgasms.html

I have only had 11 orgasms this year and that includes my unauthorized ones.  Last year I had 21 that I admitted to and I am guessing another 5-15 that I cheated and didn't disclose.  My last orgasm was in a hotel pool 3 weeks ago.

All that being said, I have had increasing chastity fantasies.  That's when I am not fantasizing about being dressed in my feminine attire, which I do a lot. 

A couple weeks ago I dressed while Mistress was out.  I hate dressing up without being told to do so, but sometimes the urge is too strong.  I have a hard time with my feminine side without a bit of encouragement and preferably some coercion. 


Yes, LOCK-tober, NO-vember and DENYcember are a thing and have been for a few years.












Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Randomness

This post is going to be a bit of a rambling one.  You see, I am in such a horny state right now that my mind keeps jumping from one naughty thought to another and I can;t do much to stop it.

It's been several months since we had engaged in anything very kinky.  However last week Mistress tied me up, beat me and teased and denied me and left me in an incredibly horny state.  Now I am locked in chastity, wearing perfume, wearing nighties every night, and back to serving Mistress her morning coffee.

All of that makes me even hornier.  My mind can't stop about thinking about going further.  Staying in chastity indefinitely (especially when we go on vacation).  Wearing nail polish, fingers and toes.  My ass plugged or fucked frequently.  Dressing feminine as much as possible.  Giving Mistress orgasms every day with my mouth and fingers while I am locked.  When I am given the very rare pleasure of an orgasm I must eat it, every drop, no exceptions.  Collared again.  Frequent punishments, even if I am doing well, just to reinforce our dynamic.  Mistress ignoring my needs to make sure hers are met.  Her being bossier.  Much bossier.  No longer allowing me to direct my own time. Her being mean just to test my obedience.  List of chores and consequences for not doing them or doing them poorly.  Mistress punishing be for driving in a way she doesn't like.  Bruises.  I love it when Mistress gives me bruises.  Taking naughty pictures of me that I have to post on this blog.  The list goes on and on.

Now for the obligatory pics of things that get me going today.

















     


Friday, August 24, 2018

I got tied up last night!!!

Last night I got tied up!  It was a reward for a gift that I recently gave her.  The last time Mistress had restrained me was on January 29th, when she strapped me face down to the bed to give me a quick caning before a business trip.  208 days (nearly 7 months) without being tied up and I sure did miss it.

Mistress had put our session on the calendar the day before.  I made sure to have my body fully shaved, a nice spray of the perfume she bought for me and I even wore panties, although I don't know if she noticed.

Mistress had me put on my restraints while she pulled implements of pain out of the night stand drawer.  Once I was secure to the bed and blind folded, she used some liquid coconut oil to stroke and tease my cock.  Mistress alternated between causing me pain and teasing me to the edge.  To cause pain she used rubber bands on my inner thighs (cheap and effective) and other instruments on my inner thighs and on my balls.

From last night's session
I went back and forth from extreme ecstasy and extreme pain.  The endorphins built up quickly and I was high off of them.  Mistress kept me on the edge very well and the frustration was maddening.  When I get high like that, I can't control myself from talking too much.  I begged Mistress to lock me in chastity afterward.  Not because I wanted to be locked up, but because I tend to cheat and masturbate after an orgasm or a ruined orgasm.  Mistress mentioned that my toenails would soon be painted 24/7.  That prompted me to ask for night-time feminization which she readily agreed to.  She also mentioned that I should be tanning in a g-sting before our upcoming vacation.

The back is much smaller and gives naughty tan lines
As Mistress kept torturing me, she made sure to mention that her coffee needs to be ready to go before we go to bed at night.  My desperate mind made me yell out "and the dishes too".

As we progressed I thanked her for being mean and implored her to increase her control over me.

Mistress said we had 2 minutes let to play and that instantly got me to the edge.  I'm pretty sure Mistress knew it but she stroked a few strokes longer than what I thought she would.  That did it.  I leaked an unknown amount (I was blindfolded) but I soon found cum covered fingers in my mouth feeding my cum to me.  I didn't even come close to an orgasm but Mistress was done with me.  She untied me and told me to get cleaned up and into chastity.  

At bed time I was torn on what to do.  I wanted to be told to put on my nighty, but I also wanted her to know how desperate I am to do anything she tells me to do so I put it on.  

I had a rough night of sleep.  I hadn't been overnight in chastity in 6 months.  My mind was racing with erotic thoughts.  I had a dream that Mistress hired a personal coach to help her push me even further.  I also dreamed that I was serving a ladies group in a cocktail outfit.  


This morning I woke up so very horny.  My inner thighs hurting.  Still in chastity.  I put on a bit too much perfume and went about my day.  My head is spinning due to the smell and the left over libido I have.  It's all I can do to keep from begging Mistress to torture me some more. 

   

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

A lot of sneaky edging

The last few days I have been edging quite a bit.  Mistress has been running errands and when she leaves I edge a few times.  Yesterday, before I could even get to an edge I was leaking.  I have never been a leaker.  I managed to lick up most of it, but apparently I didn't get it all.


I was edging to poor guys getting ruined orgasm after ruined orgasm when they are tied up and not able to move a muscle. 

The woman in the video below has a very good torturous technique.  It's so firm yet so slow.  When she ruins his orgasm at the end, I know his exact response as I have felt that same way.  The swear words can't come out enough.



  

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Another Edging Morning

Mistress and I have been extremely busy and Mistress has been sick for over 3 weeks now.  We haven't been able to be intimate and I haven't been able to keep my body shaved like I normally do.  Yesterday I shaved everything (eyebrows are the only hair on my body).  I instantly felt submissive and feminine.  I added my feminine deodorant and small spray of perfume.  I almost wore panties but decided against it.  

This morning Mistress was out of bed before me.  I edged myself 40-50 times.  The first edge I wasn't even hard and I leaked a bit.  Mistress walked in 90 seconds after I was done edging, I almost got caught.  I'm curious how that would have gone.  While I edged I imagined being tied down to where I couldn't move a muscle.  Mistress would then tease and keep me on the edge until I was literally in tears, begging to do anything to get the chance to either cum or to release me.  To be driven crazy with pleasure, but not enough pleasure is such a turn on.

Today I also logged my last orgasm which was 3.5 weeks ago.  I have only cum 5 times all year.  Last year at this time I have already cum 15 times.  Since Mistress and I haven't been intimate, I have told myself I would cheat and give myself a full orgasm, especially since my last one was mostly ruined.  I haven't done it.  I have been very chaste.

So a few more edges before Mistress gets home and some images of the way I imagine being restrained and tease tortured.













  

Monday, May 14, 2018

Confession

It's been nearly 3 months since I posted.  Life has been very busy, but its also been very good.  I'm too busy to be posting regularly, but had to do a quick post.

The last couple of days my mind has been going back to my submissive place.  I've been fantasizing about chastity, collars, feminization, painted toe nails, panties, teasing & denial and forced cum eating from Mistress' pussy.

This morning I couldn't help myself and edged quite a bit.  I edged to some trailers from www.divinebitches.com  The hottest ones were the ones with the guys locked in chastity while being tortured.  Their cocks being totally ignored.

My edges got a bit too close a couple of times and I had tiny drops of cum that I licked up.  I felt so dirty.  I was tempted with sneaking a full orgasm, but thought better of it.  Since I am still nice and horny, I am desperate enough to confess my sins.  Had I allowed myself an orgasm, I wouldn't have the guts to admit my edging session.

Here are some of the pics that spoke to me.





Monday, February 5, 2018

Orgasm Denial Thoughts

Last night I made a bit of a confession to Mistress.  I confessed that I have been downplaying the level of horniness I am experiencing.  While I have certainly been saying that I am a desperate mess, those words don't necessarily man anything.

The longer I go into my orgasm denial period, I become more and more obsessed with deeper and darker things.  I am almost constantly fantasizing about serving Mistress.  The more I serve her, the more bitchy and demanding she becomes of me.  As we move along, I fantasize about her requiring more and more of me.  I fantasize about her showing less patience with me and making me jump through increasingly difficult hoops just for the sake of making me do it.  She would be waited on hand and foot both in and out of the bedroom without any concern my my needs. She would have unlimited orgasms if I had my way.

I also fantasize about being restrained and confined in multiple ways.  Obviously, I am always to be  collared and locked in chastity.  However the hornier I get, the more I think about being caged, or hanging by my wrists from the ceiling in the basement.  I think about sleeping restrained, or in the strait jacket.  I fantasize being restrained in many of our dungeon devices for long periods of time.  I fantasize about daily beatings or having other pain inflicted on me.

My last overwhelming fantasy is that when Mistress isn't using me and abusing me, I spend the rest of my time at home heavily feminized and humiliated and feminized under my clothes when I leave the house.

To someone observing from the outside, my fantasies would look like I was in an abusive relationship with a brutal and uncaring tyrant.  This is where I can see how being mean to me is hard for Mistress.  The truth is that my submissive heart flutters (and my cock gets harder) at the thought of all of the above.  The appearance of my needs not being met would absolutely fulfill me.  There would be no downside to her being more demanding and cruel as I would communicate if there were any issues for me.  We could find a happy medium.   

As far as downplaying just how horny and desperate I am becoming, there are a few reasons for this.  The first is that I don't want Mistress to feel bad about denying me.  I fear that she will make me cum, with the intent of being nicer to me, when in fact I would prefer the teasing to be cruel and to intensify.  Another reason is that this level of horniness has so many hormones running through my system that I am becoming addicted to them.  I fear an orgasm would remove so many of the hormones that I would go through a sort of a withdrawal.  I tend to be a difficult person for a few days after I am allowed to orgasm.  If I am allowed to cum once a month, that means for 36 days a year, I am difficult to deal with.  Cumming every 60 days that's still 18 days or 2.5 weeks a year of being a shit.  Once every 90 days is still 12 days of difficulty.  I want to be a good slave to Mistress, and denial is a good way to achieve this.  Another reason is that I fear I will have to eat 70+ days of cum.  Just the thought of it makes me wince in disgust, but at the same time, my cock just got hard again.  Lastly, I don't want to cum because I know the first orgasm after a long denial period just ins't that great.  It's the one after the first orgasm that is mind-blowing.  It's like I need 2 to feel the full effect of experiencing an orgasm.

Regardless of when Mistress decides I will orgasm again, I hope that there will be no delay in locking me back up chastity.  I want all of my orgasms to be authorized and observed by Mistress.  I want to keep my goal of an entire year locked up regardless of how often I cum.  I want the fast recharging of my libido that only chastity can provide.  I want to feel the control and despair of having to go back into chastity when my libido has just been drained from me.  I want any physical pleasure that I receive to be because of Mistress.  I want my pleasure to come from pleasuring Mistress, and I don't want my thoughts of cumming to get in the way of taking care of her. 


Please leave a comment on your beliefs on orgasm denial and chastity.  Mistress sees all comments left here.  Thanks!



            

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Remote Control

I have mentioned that we have a remote control shocking dog collar that has been adapted to be locked around my cock and balls allowing Mistress to punish me at a distance.  It's a very simple device as in it only shocks and the levels have to be manually changed.

Yesterday I ran across a blog for a couple that is in a Female Led Relationship.  She uses a newer more advanced shocking collar.  This one has a function to beep and another function to vibrate. This is nice because it can be used to summon  slave or warn them, before actually shocking them.  It can be used as a real training device vs a punish only device.  The severity of the shock has 100 levels and can be changed on the remote.  They are rechargeable, waterproof and surprisingly inexpensive.

Mistress also has the ability to monitor my location 24/7 from her phone.  It's surprisingly hot to know that Mistress can keep tabs on me like that.

We also have security cameras in the house that can be moved around so that if Mistress wanted to she could keep close tabs on me.  Now that we both work form home the cameras aren't as much of a control device.

That brings me to remote control sex toys.  For years there have been cheaply made but expensive remote control sex toys.  These toys such as butt plugs, vibrating panties, and vibrating eggs were great in theory, but terrible in the real world.  They cost a lot of money, they were noisy, they didn't have great range and they tended to stop working very quickly.

That has all changed.  The latest versions of these toys are extremely well made.  They are rechargeable,  they are very quiet, and they can work at incredibly long distance so long as you have a smart phone.  I have seen them in the past and though they would be fun, but when I saw the video below, I realized all of the potential uses for toys like these.



The device above is called the Lovense Lush.  It's controlled by Bluetooth and an app from your phone.  You can control it manually, or you can use one of the many patterns.  There is also a library of over 5,000 patterns from other users.  The device can also be sound activated or synced to music.  Some of the devices can be synced so when one device moves, the other reacts.  The best part is that it can be used around the world since it syncs to your phone.  It's like text messaging a sex act.

They make many more devices.  A male masturbating sleeve, a more traditional vibrator, a prostate massager, a Hitachi style device, and a few more similar variations.     

I would love to tie Mistress down and edge her with the lush for as long as possible.  Lying next to her, and being able to drive her crazy.  I would love the same treatment with a butt plug or prostate massager in my ass.  This would be especially hot when I go out of town for work, or when when one of us leaves the house.  I think the funnest thing would be for us each to be wearing a device and for us to go out to dinner or a movie or shopping.  It would be a battle, with each of us trying to mess with the other person or even better giving the other person an orgasm in public.  Lastly, I could see the butt plug or prostate massager being used on me to summon me when Mistress wants something.



Has anyone used a device like this?

   


  

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Chastity. Device vs. No Device

I have been locked in chastity now for 36 days.  Out of those 36 days I have been out of chastity for about a total of 1 hour for Mistress to use her cock.  That's 864 hours that I have been locked with one hour of freedom.  This is a record for me as far as continuous wearing of a device.

It's been 38 days since I have had an orgasm.  That's my 4th longest orgasm free period in my life and a bit more than half way to a new record of denial.

This recent experience has reshaped my ideas on chastity devices.  Here is a synopsis.

Chasity without a device.  I have gone long periods of denial without a device.  As I have stated previously, I am pretty reliable when it comes to the honor system.  But even 99% reliable is still for 3-4 unauthorized orgasms a year or a 25% failure rate if allowed to orgasm 12 times a year.  Without a device, denial without some sort of constant reminder, becomes easy to forget.  It's easy to feel asexual instead of hyper sexual.  Without a device I am occasionally tempted to touch myself, especially when I am in bed alone after Mistress has already gotten up or when Mistress leaves the house for work.  While I do my best to avoid an unauthorized orgasm I sometimes go too far and end up with a ruined orgasm.  I know for a fact that I would have edged myself on at least 4 different occasions over the last 36 days if I were not locked up.  I would also be highly tempted to masturbate as soon as possible after a long denial period or a ruined orgasm.  One benefit of not wearing a device is that my wardrobe choices are unlimited.  Sexual spontaneity is another plus for not wearing a device.

Chastity with a device.  Now that I have fully submitted to the idea of wearing a device I can be a lot more candid about it.  First off, a device makes me hyper sexual.  I cannot stop thinking about my situation.  From the second I wake up, to using the rest room, to bathing, to dressing, to sitting, to standing, to driving, to shopping, to going out with friends, to staying at home and watching TV, to sleeping, there is barely a minute that goes by that I don't feel sexually submissive.  The accommodations I have to make, makes it certain that I cannot forget that I am a chastity slave.  I cannot absentmindedly touch myself, therefore any sensation my cock gets, can only be because Mistress allows it.  Just yesterday morning, Mistress was out of bed before me.  Without thinking, I reached down to give my cock a little squeeze.  Instead of the feeling I was expecting, my hand grabbed my device.  My brain was confused for a split second as the expected sensation wasn't there.  Instead of a physical sexual response, I ended up with a mental submissive/slave response.  I groaned in frustration while at the same time being highly satisfied that I was locked up and under Mistress' control.

I can also not discount the mind-fuck aspect of being locked in chastity.  Last weekend Mistress and I were out and we ran into a woman that we knew from our circle of friends.  We were chatting and she joked and asked us if we wanted a threesome with her.  It may not have been a joke, as we strongly believe that she has been in a couple of threesomes with other couples we know.  While I might fantasize about being in a threesome, the biggest thrill I got out of it was being propositioned for a threesome while being locked in chastity.  If she only knew.

Another mind-fuck aspect is being locked when Mistress and I are not getting along.  It's hard to have the upper hand in an argument when she holds the hey to your cock.

I cannot be trusted on the honor system if total control is what Mistress wants.  While I strive for denial and can achieve it, I don't have enough self control.  While edging on my own and having an accident can likely be forgiven, my biggest chastity crime cannot.  When I am granted an orgasm after long denial periods, Mistress feels generous and will let me stay unlocked for a period of time.  Overnight or even a few days.  This is actually the most dangerous time to let me out.  After a long denial period and especially after a ruined orgasm I am at my most disobedient.  I will sometime purposely give myself a quick, full, satisfying orgasm.  Being locked up immediately after an orgasm does 2 things.  It keeps me from cheating and it gets me ramped back up much faster.     

For those Mistresses that want to completely own their slave, I am of the opinion that a device is necessary.  Even if your slave is 100% honest and chaste, a device makes being chaste a 110% situation.  You can always unlock your slave every day for teasing or for pleasing, and lock him right back up. 



Here's a question for those reading this post.  How do you feel about chastity devices and what other aspects of being chaste can you expand on?         

  

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Falling deeper

I's been 25 days since my last orgasm and 23 days since I have been locked in chastity 24/7 except twice when Mistress let me have sex with her.  I am now really starting to feel the desperation of teasing and denial.  Not so much because of the length of time I have been denied, but because twice in the last week Mistress has used me for her pleasure and locked me back up.  The edging and her comments have me very, very ramped up.  Add the hangover I have this morning from a late night Christmas party and I am an absolute hot mess.  My mind is spinning with some of the most depraved things I can think of.

When I woke up this morning I sprayed on my perfume and almost instantly I went from looking for my male pajamas to going into the spare bedroom and throwing on a pair of panties, capri length jeans and a feminine top.  I wanted to wear something much more feminine including heels, but am also back to being insecure without Mistress' encouragement.

While I was getting dressed I found a pair of black jeans that I forgot I bought.  They are tight and have sparkles on the back pockets. It's then that I thought of going out dressed in public.  I imagined having to go wash Mistress's car and having to dry it off.  I would wear and outfit and makeup that would could pass for male clothes unless someone was paying extra attention.  Starting me off slow and getting me used to the idea of being dressed in public vs having me go out full femme for my first time.

Then my brain, being what it is, had me fantasizing about going to a party later today with naughty items (clothes or toys) under my clothes. It's fantasizing about doing chores at Mistress command.  It's fantasizing about total surrender.  It's thinking about the next two weeks, us both working from home and me not needing to be anywhere and Mistress using me up.  It's fantasizing about what an orgasm would feel like, knowing I don't really want one.

All of that being said, it's a damn good thing I am locked up right now.  If not I know that I would be edging myself to all of the thoughts I am having.  It's starting to be a real mind-fuck when I reach down expecting to have my cock feel my touch and it feels nothing.  It's amazing knowing that my pleasure is 100% dependent on Mistress and there is nothing I can do to change it.

I am going to sign off now.  As a note to my readers, I truly appreciate the recent comments.  It makes my blogging much more fulfilling.

Here is my mood today.



   

Friday, December 8, 2017

Posts and/or Quotes that speak to me.

Mistress recently told me that if I link to another page, she generally doesn't go to the link.  So I went though many of the links I have done in the past and put them below.  Some are basic one liners that make my cock hard, others are more in depth and go deeper into my psyche.



He wants you to be his QUEEN, so go ahead and be one.



Do things without particular reason, use your sub in ways you never thought about before. Feel the power, let him feel the loss of it.



Make sure you are served well whenever you feel like being served.






If you are just indulging in your husbands fantasies, and not really taking control by pushing your man into doing uncomfortable things, then you are really again, just being controlled by him.

In order for female dominance to become real, you must make it real, by forcing him to do things that he does not want to do. You will either be done with all of this, or you will have the breakthrough, where you truly have brought your man to his knees in full servitude to you for the rest of your life.

Consider it like breaking a horse or training a dog. Men are no different. They can be trained to submit to your will on all matters but you do have to “break him”.



Take him, break him, mold him, and have a relationship with him, that few ever get to experience.  A relationship that puts you on a pedestal, with him serving you as you wish.  Imagine a relationship, where chores are the mans job, (unless you want to help), orgasms are an obligation for the men to give, and a privilege for him to be granted rarely for exceptional servitude.

This is your world now. You are dominant, and your man is your submissive. He asked for this, but he didn’t realize what it meant. Too bad.



You are now the dominant goddess of the house. What you say goes, is what goes. There are no exceptions. What you want is what you get… Be disciplined with yourself, and do not do things that contradict your dominance.



How nice is it to have an unpaid servant who’s glad to serve you? That is the premise and the promise of a Femdom relationship.






When it comes to chastity, you are not punishing your man - you are protecting him from his perfectly normal lack of self-control.  You are not denying him sexual pleasure. In fact, when you do release him from his male chastity belt, sex will feel better for him and his orgasms will become much more intense.  You are not denying yourself the sex life you deserve. While he’s locked up he’ll use his mouth and fingers to provide you with sexual satisfaction on a regular basis. And, there are ways that you have satisfying penetrative sex while he is still under lock and key…



When done correctly, your man will feel more loved by you than he did before male chastity became a part of your life. In fact, most men eventually thank their wives for insisting on the lifestyle.  While at first you’ll only keep him locked up for a few days at a time, eventually he should be restricted to eight to 12 orgasms a year. This is more than enough.  Over time he’ll start to feel like more of a man, because he’ll know that all of his sexual energy is going towards pleasing you. He’ll like the fact that he no longer feels like a little boy who can’t control himself when you are not looking. Instead, he will be saving himself for you…



Punishments are a very effective tool in a FLR. In fact, I would say a punishment is very powerful when done right. Punishing your husband is essential for keeping the FLR strong. When you administer a punishment, it lets him know there are consequences for bad behavior and it also brings a fierce reality to his submission to you. When he faces the consequences doled out by you, it sends a clear message that this is not all fantasy and that you have authority over him. In my opinion, when you punish your husband and he accepts it, it has a real effect on his psyche which elevates your authority over him and pushes him deeper into submission to you. The ultimate outcome is a husband that is obedient and doing everything possible to make you happy.



Make sex more devotional with less penetrative intercourse. Use his tongue a lot. Just watch how his balls get bigger and bigger. Regularly, leave him frustrated. He’ll be more assertive, more attentive, more eager to please.





Intensifying - whichever action you take, request or carry out, each time you repeat it, intensify it a little bit.



He confesses that he feels humiliated on occasion as I use him for my pleasure leaving him with an engorged penis and my secretions covering his face as I just walk away.  But this dynamic makes him even harder, so I discount it.



Submissive men have a need to serve, they want to be trained, held accountable and punished for their mistakes. This is all part of having a female authority in their lives. And they need the relationship to be real, not some game, something she does just to please him. But men and women think differently and women have a hard time, especially in the beginning, understanding the needs of a submissive man. They tend project their own feelings and their way of thinking into the situation.  Too many women see themselves as mean, selfish, arrogant and cruel. So they struggle to take on the role of the female authority in a femdom marriage …Know this, we are not being mean or selfish or cruel, instead we are giving our men the gift of servitude. Which just happens to be exactly what they want and need.




Your Control over him - It comes in waves, it comes slowly. The best part of it is seeing your sub accepting it, adapting to it and finally handing it over, completely. Even better is seeing him starting to anticipate everything, your wishes, your needs, etc. Even better then that is hearing no complaints, no cry-outs for what he is lacking. And even better then that is the sense of rush hitting your brain every time you realize he will obey anything.



The best way to dominate your man is to make him do things you know he doesn’t want to do, both  in and out of the bedroom.



Male orgasm denial has numerous benefits, but do you know the chemical reasoning behind them? Endorphins, hormones, neurotransmitters, and neurochemicals (neurochemistry) affect how we ALL think and feel. By controlling your mans orgasms, you can control their brain chemicals and can condition (train) them.




Orgasm control is a powerful psychological aspect for a submissive man, and you too will learn to enjoy your teasing and control. It is another important power exchange with you controlling the single physical aspect of maleness that is maleness alone, a hard cock and orgasm at will.


You should orgasm much more than he does. That goes without question, his submissiveness definitely translates into you cumming more. You need to teach him how to orally please you better, and as often as you like.




The more I feminize him, the more submissive and pliable he becomes.  I love watching him do a long list of chores in his maid outfit while I watch my programs.




All I have to do is threaten taking my husband out in his feminine attire and his behavior dramatically gets better.



His smooth muscular chest was covered in a lace corset. His tan athletic shoulders were looming over his constricted waist. All of the places that I held him were covered and pinched. I hadn't realized how much I loved his male body until he dressed as a woman.



Then I pointed to a pink bra on the bed and told him to put it on. He looked at me surprised.  I told him firmly to put it on and not ask questions.



Making him wear panties while caged, was one of the hottest ideas we came up with. You have no idea how extinguishing for his male ego this is, it’s not just a good idea, it’s bullseye.



Back rubs, foot rubs, leg rubs, body massages, anything you think you might like you should try, and then do as much as you like. He loves every minutes of doing anything for you, especially if he is physically close to you.


The only thing standing in your way of having everything you dreamed is your own head. Take your man, boss him around, hurt him, be a bitch. Don’t think about it. Just do it. You will see what happens. He will become more obedient. He will automatically start doing the chores. He will ask you what you need.  He loves you, and wants you to own him. Deep down, he needs to feel loved, wanted, and being your sex toy for some reason, shows him this more than anything else you could do. Because truthfully, a true sub with a woman doesn’t care about the specifics if you do this right, or that you do that right. He cares about you telling him what to do, and him having to comply…



If you want roses, you get them…
If you want back rubs, you get them…
If you want an orgasm, you get it…
If you want to come home to a clean house, you get it…





You may want to put him through a number of tests to ensure he can serve you properly and in all ways. You could include both domestic and intimate tasks. These would test his abilities to maintain the home or bedroom, as well as making sure he can anticipate and satisfy you every need and desire.
You could see if he can provide sexual pleasure for extended periods neither seeking pleasure for himself nor succumbing to his own lust spontaneously, particularly if he has been placed in chastity.



Don’t be afraid to adjust the rules to meet current needs. As people grow, things change. A rule that once made sense, may no longer be required, or perhaps something that was once strict needs to become more lenient (or vice versa).



Once he has had a taste of bliss serving you, and if you work with him, and spend some time training him, and fulfill his needs, all of your dreams will come true.  Dream it, ask it, order him to make it come true, and watch him scramble to make it happen.



You might also wish to assert your Dominance of him by choosing his clothes and other attire. This can include another less obvious collar which could be worn under clothing, cock rings, and chastity devices.



Tell him what to do, and expect him to obey immediately, without question. Remember, if you want him to treat you like a Queen, you have to act like a Queen.



You give him his dream, you receive what most women dream about, unconditional surrender, attention, time and being placed at an invisible pedestal.



I am now thoroughly convinced that no man can be so devoted to a woman as a submissive man can. And lets face it, most women want just that, devotion.



Never take a NO for an answer, never tolerate excuses. Be on top of things all the time. Step by step, disallow whatever you see fit. Train him into unquestionable obedience and humility.



As a service-oriented submissive it is your duty to strive to make the dominants life less stressful and more enjoyable.



In a FLR, discipline is a very important part. Disciplining your male sub, whether it’s about physical or mental, should definitely be presented on daily basis. Real submissive men learn they roles quickly and practically, they do not need discipline to keep them in line. However, levels of submission highly depend on discipline, more precisely the type of discipline.





I therefore suggest, if you are a dominant, you make absolutely clear the pleasure you get from each and every slice of adversity to which you subject your submissive. You can’t be shy about being cruel, about being a sadist. You must be bold about this. Make sure some adversity is simply for your pleasure and nothing more. Your submissive will be further in awe of you if you do. Your submissive will feel even more helplessly under your power.




I highly recommend some type of daily  ritual where the sub is required to do something in a D/s context.  This ritual will help the submissive mentally transition into a true submissive role in the relationship.


A nice benefit of rituals is once a ritual is established, the submissive knows exactly what to do. The Dominant partner does not have to worry about giving commands (unless they are part of the ritual) or telling the submissive what to do.  We have a bath ritual that I just love.    I just have to whisper to him, "get my bath ready."




Kink is certainly are a part of the FLR for many people, including myself, but they are only a small piece of the overall FLR.  The FLR is more about a lifestyle decision to accept the woman as the lead.  It is about the male embracing his obedience to his wife and striving to please her.  Life does get in the way sometimes but in a healthy FLR the underlying dynamic of the FLR remains intact during those busy times. 






I find that regular sessions in our female led marriage keep him from becoming lazy or forgetting his chores and responsibilities.  If I wait too long between sessions, he tends to slack off a bit or become lazy.  It's like maintenance on your car.  You have to take your car in for regular maintenance in order to keep it running in top condition.  You could always skip maintenance but your car will not perform at its best and overtime a break down will occur.  Discipline sessions are what keep your husband serving you at his best and prevent a break down in the relationship from occurring.  With regular discipline you should have less need for punishment.




Once you have established a female led relationship based on previous lessons, body worship is the next step.  Body worship is not a sexual act.  Anything from massage to masturbation or from giving her a bath and washing her hair to painting her nails or helping her shave.  It's about her.



Free Time: how he spends his free time is up to you. If he has been obedient and done all his tasks, you can treat him to a limited time where he gets to do an activity. Make sure he negotiates with you and gives you options. You ultimately decide how he spends his free time. It is important that free time is revoked when he has not been 100% obedient or dutiful. Instead of free time he has then earned corner time when he’s not working for you.





Your husband wants an FLR. But he won’t be able to keep to it at first. It is hard to change habits and develop new habits. You will need something to exert absolute control over him.
In my experience, the best way to control your husband is to take control over his finances. Instruct him to have his paycheck paid into an account you and only you control. Next, have him hand over control of all his accounts bar one. Every month, you can write him a check he can deposit into this account. That way, the worse he performs, the less money he gets and the more he feels his dependency on you.




Rigorously adhering to a schedule of weekly discipline session for a submissive partner is very important.  At a scheduled time each week, you and your partner know that you will have him over your lap, over the back of a chair, or over the edge of the bed for an extended session with the cane or what ever tool you select. This is the session that will fix that laziness and it provides the opportunity for you to vent your frustration – like a discharge of built-up electrical power. When the frustration and irritation is gone the spanking ends, and not before. Whats important here is that this is not ’ play time’ and this is not for his pleasure. Spankings are meant to hurt as your partner is supposed to actually learn from  the lessons you try to teach him.



Man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please Women… 





Yes.  I have Rules.  And Yes, you will obey them.
And Yes, you will love me for it.
Oh, Yes.



Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)



Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face.



He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. 



For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for additional humiliation. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.