I's been 25 days since my last orgasm and 23 days since I have been locked in chastity 24/7 except twice when Mistress let me have sex with her. I am now really starting to feel the desperation of teasing and denial. Not so much because of the length of time I have been denied, but because twice in the last week Mistress has used me for her pleasure and locked me back up. The edging and her comments have me very, very ramped up. Add the hangover I have this morning from a late night Christmas party and I am an absolute hot mess. My mind is spinning with some of the most depraved things I can think of.
When I woke up this morning I sprayed on my perfume and almost instantly I went from looking for my male pajamas to going into the spare bedroom and throwing on a pair of panties, capri length jeans and a feminine top. I wanted to wear something much more feminine including heels, but am also back to being insecure without Mistress' encouragement.
While I was getting dressed I found a pair of black jeans that I forgot I bought. They are tight and have sparkles on the back pockets. It's then that I thought of going out dressed in public. I imagined having to go wash Mistress's car and having to dry it off. I would wear and outfit and makeup that would could pass for male clothes unless someone was paying extra attention. Starting me off slow and getting me used to the idea of being dressed in public vs having me go out full femme for my first time.
Then my brain, being what it is, had me fantasizing about going to a party later today with naughty items (clothes or toys) under my clothes. It's fantasizing about doing chores at Mistress command. It's fantasizing about total surrender. It's thinking about the next two weeks, us both working from home and me not needing to be anywhere and Mistress using me up. It's fantasizing about what an orgasm would feel like, knowing I don't really want one.
All of that being said, it's a damn good thing I am locked up right now. If not I know that I would be edging myself to all of the thoughts I am having. It's starting to be a real mind-fuck when I reach down expecting to have my cock feel my touch and it feels nothing. It's amazing knowing that my pleasure is 100% dependent on Mistress and there is nothing I can do to change it.
I am going to sign off now. As a note to my readers, I truly appreciate the recent comments. It makes my blogging much more fulfilling.
Here is my mood today.
When I woke up this morning I sprayed on my perfume and almost instantly I went from looking for my male pajamas to going into the spare bedroom and throwing on a pair of panties, capri length jeans and a feminine top. I wanted to wear something much more feminine including heels, but am also back to being insecure without Mistress' encouragement.
While I was getting dressed I found a pair of black jeans that I forgot I bought. They are tight and have sparkles on the back pockets. It's then that I thought of going out dressed in public. I imagined having to go wash Mistress's car and having to dry it off. I would wear and outfit and makeup that would could pass for male clothes unless someone was paying extra attention. Starting me off slow and getting me used to the idea of being dressed in public vs having me go out full femme for my first time.
Then my brain, being what it is, had me fantasizing about going to a party later today with naughty items (clothes or toys) under my clothes. It's fantasizing about doing chores at Mistress command. It's fantasizing about total surrender. It's thinking about the next two weeks, us both working from home and me not needing to be anywhere and Mistress using me up. It's fantasizing about what an orgasm would feel like, knowing I don't really want one.
All of that being said, it's a damn good thing I am locked up right now. If not I know that I would be edging myself to all of the thoughts I am having. It's starting to be a real mind-fuck when I reach down expecting to have my cock feel my touch and it feels nothing. It's amazing knowing that my pleasure is 100% dependent on Mistress and there is nothing I can do to change it.
I am going to sign off now. As a note to my readers, I truly appreciate the recent comments. It makes my blogging much more fulfilling.
Here is my mood today.
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