Showing posts with label Punishment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Punishment. Show all posts

Monday, January 15, 2018

Yearning to be used

Mistress didn't use me this weekend.  We worked a bit too much and had other stuff going on, so the timing wasn't exactly great.  That doesn't mean that I wasn't ready, willing and able.  I fantasized about being directed to the bedroom to prepare a session for her pleasure.  Blinds draw, candles lit, towels down, a few toys out.  I would stay locked in my chastity device.  Whether I was dressed or not would depend on how Mistress was feeling. I would use my fingers, mouth, tongue and toys to give her as many orgasms as she wanted.  She may or may not tell me about how this is my new life.  Serving her sexually without any regard for my sexual pleasure.  She would tell me that her new goal is to condition my brain to equate her pleasure as my only reward.  At some point she would be spent, she would tell me that she was done with me and that I was to clean up and join her when I was finished cleaning up.  That is the fantasy that was going through my head all weekend.

That wasn't my only fantasy.  After 7 weeks with no orgasm and being in chastity the entire time, my mind is a blur of sexual thoughts and images.  Mistress smacking my balls, breath play, putting more and more bruises on my body, butt plugs, spending time in the cage, using the dildo gag on Mistress.  Getting my ass fucked with the electric butt plug. Going back to my feminization routine.  Painted nails.  Using the fucking machine on us both.  Mistress finding ways to use humiliation on me.  Nipple torture that makes my nipples hurt for days.  Panties, piss play, adding some protocols to our life., Smell training in addition to my perfume.  Being smothered by Mistress.  Being spit on.  Having the strap-on used on me and using the strap-on with Mistress when I am locked up.  Tasks, tasks and more tasks. Torture.  The list goes on and on.  My mind is a mess.

Lastly, there was a comment the other day from a slave that gets a daily maintenance spanking with a cane.  I can easily imagine implementing this in our life.  We have a cane that is perfect for something like this.  I can imagine how getting a caning every morning would set the tone for the day.  Sitting in my office chair with my ass burning from a dozen cane strokes.  Having bruises that never go away.  Trying to fall asleep at night. on a day I acted like a shit, knowing that the next morning will be brutal.  I googled the term, and I came up with a term I like better than a 'maintenance spanking'.   Another couple calls is a reassurance spanking.  Here is his definition. They’re disciplinary in style, but they’re not punishment. That’s why we decided on the term reassurance, because they’re intended to reassure her that I’m there to spank her when she needs, whether she actually needs it at that moment or not.

Regardless of what it's called, it's pretty hot to my submissive mind. 








       If you enjoy reading this blog, please leave a comment.  Mistress and I enjoy reading the comments, ideas and feedback from our audience.  I will reply to everyone as soon as I can. 

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Behavior Modification

The other night I had a dream about our D/s lifestyle.  I was going to write about it yesterday, but by the time I got home my libido was worn off and I didn't have the guts to do it.  This morning, I am in an extra state of horniness and my perfume has amplified it, so now I an recount my dream.

In my dream Mistress has me sitting on the floor in front of our couch.  I don't know if I am sitting or if I am keeling.  Mistress alternates between walking around me lecturing me and sitting on the couch looking me in the eyes.

She says something to the effect of "you need more control in your life and I am going to give it to you.  I am going to use my position over you to change your behavior.  I am going to start with 3 behavior modifications, but don't worry, it will be many more than that very soon."

She continues, "the first thing we are going to change is your foul mouth.  Starting now you are forbidden from swearing.  I don't really care whether you swear or not, but this is about control.  I want you thinking at all times to be careful what comes out of your mouth.  Anytime you swear, you will be punished.  If you swear and use a derogatory word for a woman, you will be punished in a much more extreme fashion.  Male slaves don't get to call women names."  Apparently me being called out by Mistress for calling a bad woman driver a twat got into my dreams.


She continued with her speech.  "The 2nd behavior we are going to change is your driving.  I am no longer going to beg and plead with you to drive in a manner that doesn't scare me.  Starting today, when I tell you to drive safer you will not talk back and you will immediately change the way you are driving.  Your driving often scares me.  If you try to drive that way any more, it's you who will be scared and fearful."

"Lastly we are going to change how much you drink.  I am not anti-alcohol, this is again about my control over you.  Starting today, you will ask for permission to drink any alcohol.  This includes when we go out.  You will also ask for permission any time you would like a refill.  Expect me to say 'no' often.  Expect me to let you have one or 2 and then no more.  Expect me to have you serve me wine while you are forbidden to drink anything.  The best part is that we will use D/s to make you healthier."

The dream has one more element to it, but it kept changing as I had the dream.  Mistress told me that I would be wearing a uniform around the house at all times.  The uniform started as something you would expect a guy to wear in gym class or basic training.  A white shirt, white shorts white socks and tennis shoes.  It was meant to signify my training.  The other outfit was a maids dress, but not the kind one would fantasize about.  It was meant to signify my service to her in a non-sexual way.


Mistress also told me that I am to wear a pink collar with a bell on it whenever I am home to remind both her and me of my place in our relationship.  



I awoke from the dream aroused but confused.  The dream was completely non-sexual.  There was no real D/s element to it other than what was threatened.  I am certain the arousal came from the control aspect of it since it was not really sexual in any way.  It's also possible the arousal was due to my chastity device that has not been removed for nearly a week, and that was just to change devices.  

As I tried to fall back to sleep, my mind raced with the thought of Mistress implementing these changes or others she may have up her sleeve.  The idea of using my submissiveness to her (and our) benefit is hot.  Changing some of my core behaviors to make them less annoying to her or even non-existent is a submissive man's dream.  Or at least this submissive man's dream.     


       
If you enjoy reading this blog, please leave a comment.  Mistress and I enjoy reading the comments, ideas and feedback from our audience.  I will reply to everyone as soon as I can. 


Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Zap and some comments on breaking.

I have been extra difficult to deal with lately.  Mistress and I are starting to do some work together and we are butting heads.  I tend to get speak in a manner that sounds shirt and harsh.  It's certainly not my intention. Last night was one of these times where we got into a more heated back and forth and Mistress told me to put on my shocking collar.  I didn't say no, but I also didn't put it on.  She didn't press the issue, so I didn't put it on.  Had she insisted, I like to think that I would have obeyed, but she didn't so we didn't test that theory.  I was not ready to put it on just for the sake of getting shocked.  The horse had already left the barn so to speak.

That being said, I am working from home today.  I have put the shocking collar around my balls and locked it with a padlock.  I cannot remove it, and it's installed before we have any issues.  I can see me having to wear this whenever I am home, especially during working hours.  I have such a powerful fear of electricity that I am already aware of any potential tone issues I may have later today.







The other night a comment was left on this blog in response to my request for feedback from readers.  It was from a Mistress that mentioned that she would like to see me post as a broken slave.  I have been thinking of what it would look like for Mistress to break me.  While certain parts of it I can fantasize about, the other thoughts I have are reluctance as I know it would suck on many levels.  I tend to agree with her take however that if somehow Mistress was able to get me to the breaking point, I would likely be at a whole different level of submission.  The thought of enduring whatever Mistress decided to put me through, just to show my devotion as her slave is something that I find extremely hot.  That's definitely one of those 'be careful what you wish for' scenarios. 
 

Friday, December 8, 2017

Posts and/or Quotes that speak to me.

Mistress recently told me that if I link to another page, she generally doesn't go to the link.  So I went though many of the links I have done in the past and put them below.  Some are basic one liners that make my cock hard, others are more in depth and go deeper into my psyche.



He wants you to be his QUEEN, so go ahead and be one.



Do things without particular reason, use your sub in ways you never thought about before. Feel the power, let him feel the loss of it.



Make sure you are served well whenever you feel like being served.






If you are just indulging in your husbands fantasies, and not really taking control by pushing your man into doing uncomfortable things, then you are really again, just being controlled by him.

In order for female dominance to become real, you must make it real, by forcing him to do things that he does not want to do. You will either be done with all of this, or you will have the breakthrough, where you truly have brought your man to his knees in full servitude to you for the rest of your life.

Consider it like breaking a horse or training a dog. Men are no different. They can be trained to submit to your will on all matters but you do have to “break him”.



Take him, break him, mold him, and have a relationship with him, that few ever get to experience.  A relationship that puts you on a pedestal, with him serving you as you wish.  Imagine a relationship, where chores are the mans job, (unless you want to help), orgasms are an obligation for the men to give, and a privilege for him to be granted rarely for exceptional servitude.

This is your world now. You are dominant, and your man is your submissive. He asked for this, but he didn’t realize what it meant. Too bad.



You are now the dominant goddess of the house. What you say goes, is what goes. There are no exceptions. What you want is what you get… Be disciplined with yourself, and do not do things that contradict your dominance.



How nice is it to have an unpaid servant who’s glad to serve you? That is the premise and the promise of a Femdom relationship.






When it comes to chastity, you are not punishing your man - you are protecting him from his perfectly normal lack of self-control.  You are not denying him sexual pleasure. In fact, when you do release him from his male chastity belt, sex will feel better for him and his orgasms will become much more intense.  You are not denying yourself the sex life you deserve. While he’s locked up he’ll use his mouth and fingers to provide you with sexual satisfaction on a regular basis. And, there are ways that you have satisfying penetrative sex while he is still under lock and key…



When done correctly, your man will feel more loved by you than he did before male chastity became a part of your life. In fact, most men eventually thank their wives for insisting on the lifestyle.  While at first you’ll only keep him locked up for a few days at a time, eventually he should be restricted to eight to 12 orgasms a year. This is more than enough.  Over time he’ll start to feel like more of a man, because he’ll know that all of his sexual energy is going towards pleasing you. He’ll like the fact that he no longer feels like a little boy who can’t control himself when you are not looking. Instead, he will be saving himself for you…



Punishments are a very effective tool in a FLR. In fact, I would say a punishment is very powerful when done right. Punishing your husband is essential for keeping the FLR strong. When you administer a punishment, it lets him know there are consequences for bad behavior and it also brings a fierce reality to his submission to you. When he faces the consequences doled out by you, it sends a clear message that this is not all fantasy and that you have authority over him. In my opinion, when you punish your husband and he accepts it, it has a real effect on his psyche which elevates your authority over him and pushes him deeper into submission to you. The ultimate outcome is a husband that is obedient and doing everything possible to make you happy.



Make sex more devotional with less penetrative intercourse. Use his tongue a lot. Just watch how his balls get bigger and bigger. Regularly, leave him frustrated. He’ll be more assertive, more attentive, more eager to please.





Intensifying - whichever action you take, request or carry out, each time you repeat it, intensify it a little bit.



He confesses that he feels humiliated on occasion as I use him for my pleasure leaving him with an engorged penis and my secretions covering his face as I just walk away.  But this dynamic makes him even harder, so I discount it.



Submissive men have a need to serve, they want to be trained, held accountable and punished for their mistakes. This is all part of having a female authority in their lives. And they need the relationship to be real, not some game, something she does just to please him. But men and women think differently and women have a hard time, especially in the beginning, understanding the needs of a submissive man. They tend project their own feelings and their way of thinking into the situation.  Too many women see themselves as mean, selfish, arrogant and cruel. So they struggle to take on the role of the female authority in a femdom marriage …Know this, we are not being mean or selfish or cruel, instead we are giving our men the gift of servitude. Which just happens to be exactly what they want and need.




Your Control over him - It comes in waves, it comes slowly. The best part of it is seeing your sub accepting it, adapting to it and finally handing it over, completely. Even better is seeing him starting to anticipate everything, your wishes, your needs, etc. Even better then that is hearing no complaints, no cry-outs for what he is lacking. And even better then that is the sense of rush hitting your brain every time you realize he will obey anything.



The best way to dominate your man is to make him do things you know he doesn’t want to do, both  in and out of the bedroom.



Male orgasm denial has numerous benefits, but do you know the chemical reasoning behind them? Endorphins, hormones, neurotransmitters, and neurochemicals (neurochemistry) affect how we ALL think and feel. By controlling your mans orgasms, you can control their brain chemicals and can condition (train) them.




Orgasm control is a powerful psychological aspect for a submissive man, and you too will learn to enjoy your teasing and control. It is another important power exchange with you controlling the single physical aspect of maleness that is maleness alone, a hard cock and orgasm at will.


You should orgasm much more than he does. That goes without question, his submissiveness definitely translates into you cumming more. You need to teach him how to orally please you better, and as often as you like.




The more I feminize him, the more submissive and pliable he becomes.  I love watching him do a long list of chores in his maid outfit while I watch my programs.




All I have to do is threaten taking my husband out in his feminine attire and his behavior dramatically gets better.



His smooth muscular chest was covered in a lace corset. His tan athletic shoulders were looming over his constricted waist. All of the places that I held him were covered and pinched. I hadn't realized how much I loved his male body until he dressed as a woman.



Then I pointed to a pink bra on the bed and told him to put it on. He looked at me surprised.  I told him firmly to put it on and not ask questions.



Making him wear panties while caged, was one of the hottest ideas we came up with. You have no idea how extinguishing for his male ego this is, it’s not just a good idea, it’s bullseye.



Back rubs, foot rubs, leg rubs, body massages, anything you think you might like you should try, and then do as much as you like. He loves every minutes of doing anything for you, especially if he is physically close to you.


The only thing standing in your way of having everything you dreamed is your own head. Take your man, boss him around, hurt him, be a bitch. Don’t think about it. Just do it. You will see what happens. He will become more obedient. He will automatically start doing the chores. He will ask you what you need.  He loves you, and wants you to own him. Deep down, he needs to feel loved, wanted, and being your sex toy for some reason, shows him this more than anything else you could do. Because truthfully, a true sub with a woman doesn’t care about the specifics if you do this right, or that you do that right. He cares about you telling him what to do, and him having to comply…



If you want roses, you get them…
If you want back rubs, you get them…
If you want an orgasm, you get it…
If you want to come home to a clean house, you get it…





You may want to put him through a number of tests to ensure he can serve you properly and in all ways. You could include both domestic and intimate tasks. These would test his abilities to maintain the home or bedroom, as well as making sure he can anticipate and satisfy you every need and desire.
You could see if he can provide sexual pleasure for extended periods neither seeking pleasure for himself nor succumbing to his own lust spontaneously, particularly if he has been placed in chastity.



Don’t be afraid to adjust the rules to meet current needs. As people grow, things change. A rule that once made sense, may no longer be required, or perhaps something that was once strict needs to become more lenient (or vice versa).



Once he has had a taste of bliss serving you, and if you work with him, and spend some time training him, and fulfill his needs, all of your dreams will come true.  Dream it, ask it, order him to make it come true, and watch him scramble to make it happen.



You might also wish to assert your Dominance of him by choosing his clothes and other attire. This can include another less obvious collar which could be worn under clothing, cock rings, and chastity devices.



Tell him what to do, and expect him to obey immediately, without question. Remember, if you want him to treat you like a Queen, you have to act like a Queen.



You give him his dream, you receive what most women dream about, unconditional surrender, attention, time and being placed at an invisible pedestal.



I am now thoroughly convinced that no man can be so devoted to a woman as a submissive man can. And lets face it, most women want just that, devotion.



Never take a NO for an answer, never tolerate excuses. Be on top of things all the time. Step by step, disallow whatever you see fit. Train him into unquestionable obedience and humility.



As a service-oriented submissive it is your duty to strive to make the dominants life less stressful and more enjoyable.



In a FLR, discipline is a very important part. Disciplining your male sub, whether it’s about physical or mental, should definitely be presented on daily basis. Real submissive men learn they roles quickly and practically, they do not need discipline to keep them in line. However, levels of submission highly depend on discipline, more precisely the type of discipline.





I therefore suggest, if you are a dominant, you make absolutely clear the pleasure you get from each and every slice of adversity to which you subject your submissive. You can’t be shy about being cruel, about being a sadist. You must be bold about this. Make sure some adversity is simply for your pleasure and nothing more. Your submissive will be further in awe of you if you do. Your submissive will feel even more helplessly under your power.




I highly recommend some type of daily  ritual where the sub is required to do something in a D/s context.  This ritual will help the submissive mentally transition into a true submissive role in the relationship.


A nice benefit of rituals is once a ritual is established, the submissive knows exactly what to do. The Dominant partner does not have to worry about giving commands (unless they are part of the ritual) or telling the submissive what to do.  We have a bath ritual that I just love.    I just have to whisper to him, "get my bath ready."




Kink is certainly are a part of the FLR for many people, including myself, but they are only a small piece of the overall FLR.  The FLR is more about a lifestyle decision to accept the woman as the lead.  It is about the male embracing his obedience to his wife and striving to please her.  Life does get in the way sometimes but in a healthy FLR the underlying dynamic of the FLR remains intact during those busy times. 






I find that regular sessions in our female led marriage keep him from becoming lazy or forgetting his chores and responsibilities.  If I wait too long between sessions, he tends to slack off a bit or become lazy.  It's like maintenance on your car.  You have to take your car in for regular maintenance in order to keep it running in top condition.  You could always skip maintenance but your car will not perform at its best and overtime a break down will occur.  Discipline sessions are what keep your husband serving you at his best and prevent a break down in the relationship from occurring.  With regular discipline you should have less need for punishment.




Once you have established a female led relationship based on previous lessons, body worship is the next step.  Body worship is not a sexual act.  Anything from massage to masturbation or from giving her a bath and washing her hair to painting her nails or helping her shave.  It's about her.



Free Time: how he spends his free time is up to you. If he has been obedient and done all his tasks, you can treat him to a limited time where he gets to do an activity. Make sure he negotiates with you and gives you options. You ultimately decide how he spends his free time. It is important that free time is revoked when he has not been 100% obedient or dutiful. Instead of free time he has then earned corner time when he’s not working for you.





Your husband wants an FLR. But he won’t be able to keep to it at first. It is hard to change habits and develop new habits. You will need something to exert absolute control over him.
In my experience, the best way to control your husband is to take control over his finances. Instruct him to have his paycheck paid into an account you and only you control. Next, have him hand over control of all his accounts bar one. Every month, you can write him a check he can deposit into this account. That way, the worse he performs, the less money he gets and the more he feels his dependency on you.




Rigorously adhering to a schedule of weekly discipline session for a submissive partner is very important.  At a scheduled time each week, you and your partner know that you will have him over your lap, over the back of a chair, or over the edge of the bed for an extended session with the cane or what ever tool you select. This is the session that will fix that laziness and it provides the opportunity for you to vent your frustration – like a discharge of built-up electrical power. When the frustration and irritation is gone the spanking ends, and not before. Whats important here is that this is not ’ play time’ and this is not for his pleasure. Spankings are meant to hurt as your partner is supposed to actually learn from  the lessons you try to teach him.



Man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please Women… 





Yes.  I have Rules.  And Yes, you will obey them.
And Yes, you will love me for it.
Oh, Yes.



Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)



Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face.



He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. 



For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for additional humiliation. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.



Monday, October 9, 2017

Ordeal in the cage

Shortly after finishing yesterday's blog post Mistress came downstairs around 7:30 am.  I made her coffee and she asked me what time the store opened.  I told her 10 am.  She said it was time for me to be caged and for me to get ready.

I went upstairs and inserted my butt plug.  I came back down stairs and then headed to the basement.  Mistress was to follow.  I grabbed the straight jacket from the toy closet under the stairs and headed into the room that had the cage.  I undressed.  As I was removing my bra and inserts I was wondering how they would feel under the straight jacket.  I sat on the floor and put on my 8-inch ballet heels.  They lace and have an ankle strap.  I put my feet through the loops that go between the legs to keep the jacket from being raised.  Once I was in, I arranged those straps against the butt plug and proceeded to put my arms in the jacket.  Mistress buckled the main straps and left the arm straps undone so I could climb in the cage.  Once in the cage she pulled the arm straps crossing my arms in front of me and tightly buckled it down.  I was left kneeling in the cage when Mistress latched it behind me.  She agreed that she didn't need to lock it as I was completely helpless.  She very unceremoniously turned of the lights and left the room. 

I sat on my knees for a few minutes until I realized I needed a more comfortable position.  I put my head on the ground and rolled onto my side with a thud.  After much more struggling I was able to get on my back.  I was stuck.  I spent close to the next 2 hours trying to find comfortable positions.  Once I found a relatively comfortable position it was only comfortable for about 10 minutes before pressure points would start hurting.  I also had to avoin laying my head on the bars of the cage.  I knew they went put impressions on my skull and we had to run errands when I got released. 

I repeated a phrase out loud several times about not talking back or talking down to Mistress.  I imagined having to repeat it for the entire time I was in the cage out loud.  We had a baby monitor outside of the cage so Mistress could easily require some such rule in the future.  I also tried to take a nap.  My mind was racing too much for that to happen.  I imagined putting the baby monitor on top of the cage with a rule that I am not allowed to shut my eyes. 

I also had many, many fantasies.  In the spirit of keeping from being a pushy bottom, I will generalize them here and not go into detail.  I fantasized about how to make the cage time even more uncomfortable or miserable.  I thought about Mistress making be do or say things things before I was released.  I also though about non-cage related things.  The longer I was in the cage, the darker and more depraved my thoughts became. 

At one point I was able to wiggle and shift my arms low enough to grab the the lock on my chastity device.  I was able to push and pull on the lock enough to get some friction on my cock.  I wondered if Mistress was seeing me do this through the baby monitor and whether I should stop or not.  After 60 seconds or so, my cock got hard enough that the friction stopped and my hand was cramping at the same time due to how hard I had to struggle to do this.  That experiment was fruitless.

The butt plug.  Wow.  The straps that go between the legs really pushed up against the butt plug.  Every time I moved to find a more comfortable position, the butt plug was reminding me of my situation.  It was pressed so tightly that even breathing made me feel it in my ass.  When I would sigh, the plugged pressed even further.  It was pressed so tightly inside me that when I would try to flex my sphincter it didn't move.   My ass felt thoroughly used by the time I was released. 

I have been locked in the cage 3 or 4 times before this.  This time was the worst by far.  It's the first time that the time in the cage seemed to be more than the actual time.  Mistress let me out 5-10 minutes early of the 2 hour mark and I was thinking she left me in for 30-60 minutes longer.  This was by far the most helpless I have ever felt.  She could have just as easily left me on the floor and I would have been just as helpless.  The cage just made it hurt more.  I have come to the realization that the cage is not something to joke about.  Just because she hasn't 'broken' me with the cage yet, doesn't mean she can't.  I don't think I want to try.

When she finally did release me I was in complete drunken subspace.  I could barely move to assist my own release.  Mistress had to take off the ballet shoes and come partially in the cage to release my arms so that I could get out.  She left the room as unemotionally as she started my ordeal.

Looking back on it this experience was very hot to me.  Not in a sexual way.  The cage sucked.  There was no intimacy with it.  There was no emotion with it.  It was a punishment and nothing more or less.  It was not erotic although I tried to make it that way.  It was detached.  The reason it was hot was because Mistress controlled me completely.  She was cruel.  She was emotionless.  She didn't give the appearance to care how I did with it.  The realization that she could be cruel or crueler to me is what made it hot.

The rest of the day was uneventful as far as D/s is concerned, although I was certainly worked up as much as I ever have been.

This morning Mistress and I snuggled a bit.  I was tracing my fingers on Mistress legs and butt.  I was about to get out of bed and Mistress reached out with her foot.  I stayed in bed for a bit longer.  I continued to trace my fingers along her legs, ankles and feet.  I would trace along her leg where it meets her ass.  I traced her hip area and her stomach.  I traced her arms and neck.  I purposely avoided sexual areas for quite some time.  I teased her chest and she didn't stop me from teasing her breasts and nipples.  I took that as a good sign.  I traced my way back down her body to her pussy.  She let me proceed.  I rubbed her clit for a bit.  Mistress generally doesn't let me rub her clit long as she enjoys penetration much more.  Because of this I teases the opening to Mistress' pussy.  She was nicely wet. I teased her some more and the I inserted my finger a bit more.  Mistress commanded me back to her clit, I was surprised.  I re-positioned myself on my knees and continued to rub her clit.  I nuzzled my face against her neck.  Mistress reached over and rubbed my balls.  She commented on how full they were.  I assured her that it was her cruelty that was keeping me so aroused.  In very quick order Mistress came and she stopped me.  I tried force myself on her until she made it clear I was crossing a line.  I backed off to avoid cage time.  I imagined this becoming a daily ritual.  Waking Mistress up at a set time with my fingers and if she allows with an orgasm for her.  If I am out of bed already, a text message summoning me for her morning pleasure or to deliver coffee to her upstairs. 

Mistress told me to get dressed and make her coffee.  I asked what I should wear today as it was a home office kind of day.  She said "whatever you want".  I asked for clarification and she said I didn't have to dress feminine.  I was bummed, but decided I could still dress feminine today since it was my choice.  I couldn't dress that way right away or I wouldn't have time to make Mistress' coffee so I ran downstairs my nighty to make her coffee. 

I then went upstairs to get dressed.  I sprayed on my perfume.  I went to my panty drawer and picked out a pair of panties.  I then went to my feminine closet.  I picked out a red dress but decided against it as I didn't want bra straps showing.  I put it back and grabbed a black and white dress to wear.  As I picked up a bra to wear, I got insecure.  I can't get dressed up if Mistress doesn't want me to.  Mistress has gotten me over 99% of my macho insecurity, but apparently I still need a bit of encouragement or even better, coercion.  I put the bra back down, took off my panties and instead put on some male casual clothes.

In closing, the cage was miserable, but at the same time I was in heaven. Heaven because Mistress owned me and controlled me 100% at that time.  I was completely helpless, at her mercy and wanting to serve her even more.  That's the way it should be.                     

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Upcoming punishment

Yesterday I had to work for a few hours.  When I got to work I realized I had forgotten some things I needed.  I texted Mistress and she offered to bring me my missing items.  When she got to where I was working, I met her at her car so she didn't have to come in.  I had intended Mistress to bring a stack of brochures and she brought 2.  However she was right, I didn't specify.  I was frustrated and spoke in a way that I shouldn't have to her.  When she left I realized the missing brochures were not a big deal as she brought me enough other items that I could use.  I texted to apologize and we talked about needing to improve my organizational skills.  Then she texted me this and you can see my reply.

         

I hate to admit it but I got an immediate hard on.  That being said I truly dislike the cage.  It's not a painful punishment, but it's uncomfortable  It's boring.  It's tedious and makes me reflect. A lot.  There are worse punishments, but this one is very easy for Mistress to administer.  

We got through the rest of the day, but a few times I tried to hit on Mistress she told me "no" and that I was forbidden to touch her or be intimate with her.    

At bedtime we got into bed.  Mistress told me I would be caged on Sunday at some point.  She also added that I would be be wearing my butt plug, my chastity device, a straight jacket and my 8-inch ballet shoes.  I got a hard-on.  Not because of the items she mentioned, but because the intends this to be more difficult than I thought she would.  I then said to her with a snarky tone "is that all?"  For some stupid reason I was trying to poke the bear.  

Then Mistress asked if I could be trusted to not wear my chastity device overnight and into the morning.  I then continued to be snarky with her by saying "I guess we will have to see".  She said if she suspected that I touched myself I would spend the entire day in the cage.  I said something to the effect of "if I tell you that is", and then I told her I would be fine.  She could trust me.  Within 10 seconds I knew that wasn't 100% true.  I am in such a state of mind right now, I can't even trust myself.  Especially when I am unsupervised from the time I wake up until I go to work.  The level of my horniness and submissiveness means I cannot be trusted.  I told Mistress that I indeed can't be trusted and that I would lock myself back up immediately.  After forcing my hard cock back into my CB-6000 device I left the key on Mistress' nightstand so that I wouldn't be tempted to mess with it in the morning.

I fell asleep until I had to use the restroom at around 2:30 AM.  As I crawled back into bed I contemplated the next day.  At some point in the day Mistress will likely ask if I am ready for my punishment.  I will say yes.  She will tell me to go plug myself and meet her down stairs in the basement.  I will arrive in the basement and will see things set up.  Mistress will have me remove my clothes.  I will have to sit on floor to put on the 8-inch ballet heels.  These make it so that I cannot stand or walk and that I must crawl.  These shows alone cripple me.  I will then lie back and slide the straight jacket straps over my ankles and then I will kneel so I can put my arms in it and raise it over my shoulders.  Mistress can then strap me tightly into it.  Getting into the cage will be awkward as I can't use my hands.  I have to use my face on the ground to crawl in.  Once in, Mistress will close the door, but with my hands in the jacket and my feet in the shoes, a lock is just redundant at this point. I will be here until she decides to release me.  

Then for at least 2 hours I will be left to lie there and contemplate.  I have been in the cage in the straight jacket once before, but then I was barefoot.  I was able to use my toes to grab the bars of the cage and move myself a bit to get comfortable.  I won't be able to do that today as I will be in those ballet heels.  The heels also have the effect of making the cage 8 inches shorter.  Add to that the straps of the straight jacket that go between the legs push the butt plug much deeper in my ass.  

So for at least 2 hours I will be lying there thinking of how I acted toward Mistress and my overall situation.  I will be fantasizing that Mistress is upstairs masturbating, so turned on by my situation, that she has to cum.  In all likely-hood she will be watching TV.  

I will also be counting my blessings that I have such a Mistress.  One that will not only tolerate my kinks, but one that will help me grow and train me the way we both know I need.  To punish me when I deserve it, which frankly I deserve more often.  It takes a very special woman to be able to be mean and cruel to a man she loves, but that it exactly what I need in my life.  I just need to be sure to be as sweet and kind and gentle with her, as that is what she needs.  

I am a very lucky man to have a firm and strict Mistress.


      

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Follow up - Checklist and Punishment

So I believe that Mistress has embraced the checklist I created.  She apparently has worked on some changes including some work related tasks to reduce my work stress.  I am still waiting to see what changes she has made and how she intends to implement it as well as how the punishments will be handled.


We did banter about it a bit last night.  I got the feeling that instant correction is not on her list.  I understand that.  I think a blend of instant correction (for serious infractions) and accumulated correction (for less serious or for training purposes) is ideal, but this is her decision.  In fact, that's what I like about it.  I gave her a blue print and she can choose to use it or not.  I am truly at her mercy and that's how I want it to be.

That being said I will continue to communicate my thoughts on the checklist and what I hope we can both gain from using it.

  There are certain tasks and requirements that I want to be 'set in stone'.  Those are the No Tolerance items and the Infractions section of the checklist.  In my mind the entire No Tolerance list should be marked with a Y or a W (for waived).  If even one item's box is blank on that day I have earned some degree of punishment.  These items are things that I believe are the bare minimum of things I must do.  A couple of them are meant to challenge me, such as PM femininity and keeping my toenail polish updated.  I have a real challenge coming home from the office early and getting dressed in feminine attire.  My libido is less in the afternoon so I have a hard time coming to terms with doing it even though deep down I want to.  That's the reason I put it on the list.  I hope Mistress keeps it on the list and enforces it.  As for the toenail polish, that's meant to be a nit-picky requirement.  I have been known to let my polish get ugly.  By having it on the list I have made it a priority for me to maintain it and Mistress to monitor compliance before it gets ugly.

The infraction section would work the same way.  If there is ever a Y in one of these boxes, I have earned a correction.  Technically these are No Tolerance items as well, but they are items that should not occur.

Lastly the "Optional Task" section.   I can easily see some items shifting to or from each section based on Mistress' desires, this was just a template.  I created this section to give more of a 'points' approach to the list.  Also many of these would depend on the type of day we had so I believe some flexibility was preferable.  In reality this list could be added to the No Tolerance section.  Mistress could require every single item on it to be done daily.  That would certainly make me take notice.  I would certainly feel more slave like if I couldn't choose to not do some of these items.        

Here is how I imagine this playing out on a day-to day basis.  Mistress will be the only one allowed to fill out the list.  I can even imagine of a few inspection periods throughout the day to ensure compliance.  I imagine the erotic humiliation of having to display my perfume, panties, butt plug, collar and toenails so those items can be checked off.  I imagine Mistress assigning a protocol.  Something as simple as kneeling and kissing each foot.  It would only take 10 seconds but it would set a tone for the day.  During the day, Mistress would complete the list as she saw fit.  Before bed, Mistress would complete the list and maybe that would be the bedtime protocol.  I would kneel at her feet while she completed the list.

As I wrote the previous few paragraphs something new came to mind.  Maybe the "Optional Tasks" section is the pleasure section while the other 2 sections are the obedience and punishment section.  While the other 2 sections have a punishment aspect to them and therefore my desire to have no leniency for them, the Optional Section could have a reward.  One carrot section and two stick sections.  I would have to earn a certain number of points per day/week/month to be rewarded with a bondage session that I like.  I imagine punishment sessions happening more or less weekly and reward sessions happening bi-weekly, monthly or when I have earned enough points.

In closing I want to let Mistress know that I am looking forward to this experiment.  I want Mistress to know that I am 100% bought into this and will do my best.  I will be challenged and will have to deal with some insecurities but I want Mistress to have the utmost confidence that this is what I really, really want.  For lack of a better term, I am begging that monitoring and enforcement will be very strict and punishments very real and very severe.  I don't know if I can cry, but that is the type punishment I expect to endure.  The fear I have felt over the last couple of sessions have made me melt with a desire to serve.  Additionally I want this to work for Mistress.  I want her to feel like I am providing true service to her.  None of this matters if her needs are not being met and if the reward for her is not worth her effort.  If anything needs to be changed, added or dropped to make Mistress happy than I am all for it.  She is my Goddess!





          

   

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Meaner is better

We have a standing rule that I am to be locked in chastity whenever Mistress has her period.  Mistress started her period on Monday and they tend to last about 5 days.  On Thursday night Mistress came home form happy hour with the girls in a mood that I would call happy and horny, but not too horny.  She was kissing me more than usual, she climbed onto my lap, she playfully spanked me a few times and was generally aggressive.  I liked it.  Mistress asked me if I was a good boy that day.  Since I have been trying to get Mistress to be meaner with me, I told her, no.  She mentioned that it was too bad because she was going to let me out of chastity.  I stated, "you really are having a hard time being meaner to me, aren't you?"  She said, no, she is not.  That was kind of the end of it, and yes, I did stay locked.

Last night at bed time I noticed that the trash can that had been emptied the night before had no tampon packaging in it, which means Mistress' period ended on Thursday.  That's why she was going to let me out.  I said I wasn't a good boy so she is doing a wonderful job of keeping me locked up.

Now I wasn't really a bad boy on Thursday, or any day for that matter.  I am generally pretty good and try hard to keep Mistress happy. However, I can pretend to be bad if that gets Mistress to be meaner to me.  I can confess to things that Mistress doesn't mind, but other women might.  I ogled at a couple of waitresses at the bar.  I used swear words.  I was speeding.  I can certainly be punished for mild bad (made up) deeds as much as major ones.

As we were going to bed last night I told her she needed to have her own mantra.  A way of reinforcing the idea of be meaner to me.  I came up with something.

Meaner is better
Meaner makes my slave happy
Meaner makes my slave obedient
Meaner is the same as nicer in my slave's submissive brain
Meaner makes my slave want to serve me even more
Meaner is better

Last night as I was falling asleep, I imagined all of the mean things Mistress could do to me.  Most guys would run at the thought of being treated this way and I think they would be the most exiting things she could do to me.  A lot of these things would suck to endure, but I know when it was over I would be in a deeper state of submission.  Other than her bringing a man into our D/s world, I can't imagine a thing Mistress could do to me that would upset me.  My head is spinning with the idea of begging for mercy and not getting it.  Mmmmmm.


   

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Lately

I am going to start off with the thing that is highest in my thought process now.  Last night while sitting on the couch Mistress held up her glass and said 'slave'.  The word came out at least three times over the course of the evening and I absolutely loved it.  The thought of being called something that is not my name, nor a common nicety (baby, sweety, honey) and instead being called something most would find offensive (slut, bitch, slut, sissy, whore) is intensely hot to me.  The word slave is powerful and has multiple meanings to me, such as being under control, not having rights, owned by Mistress etc.  The other words mentioned are also hot and also relevant given my feminization fantasies and most of those words typically being used for degrading a women.  That being said, having my name ignored and replaced with something else is something I could get very used to and it makes my head spin with excitement.  A constant verbal acknowledgment of Mistress's acceptance of my submissiveness as well as confirmation of my status in our relationship.  What more could a guy want?

The next topic is dressing feminine.  In the morning, especially after a spray of perfume, I have little problem dressing feminine.  In fact I have been adding bra's almost daily and have been choosing my highest heels on the days I only get to wear them for a couple hours.  I am trying to be more and more feminine.  Later in the day is the real challenge for me mentally.  Yesterday I came home early from the office to work at home.  I should have changed clothes (and wanted to actually) but I got insecure and my stupid male masculinity took over.  I technically disobeyed a standing rule, but I didn't want to disobey.  It's one of those things I wish I had more control over and could obey without question.  It's where being held accountable and forced would help me out mentally submit over the long term.  While a punishment would certainly be in order I am not trying to top from the bottom.  A friendly reminder from Mistress that I need to go change would also work.  Adding the number of hours I am to be dressed every day would also help condition me to my afternoon drop in testosterone.  I want to obey.

Lastly, Chastity.  Mistress started her period yesterday.  That means I am to be locked up in chastity for the duration.  Why am I not locked up yet?  I have a nice Mistress.  Now Mistress is far nicer than I would be if the tables were turned.  The second I found out I was starting I would tell my slave to lock it up, even if it was in the middle of the night.  I would also wait to unlock my slave until the day after I was 100% sure I was done.  Even if that meant we had sex and he had to be locked back up because I wasn't quite done.  I would add extra 'reminders' of my period if the tables were turned, but am not giving any ideas.  Like I said, Mistress is nicer than I would be.  I am sitting here writing this, wanting to stroke my cock only because I know it will be locked soon (after my morning bike ride).  Generally I don't think about it, but when I am locked or will be getting locked I can't take my mind off of my cock.  It's one of the great misunderstandings about chastity.  I think a lot of women lock of their man's cock because he focuses on it too much.  Locking it up increases the focus, it just eliminates his ability refocus on something else.


Today's Mood

Locked in chastity until anal orgasms are obtained.

    

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Pro-Domme fantasy

There is a blog I read every chance I get.  It's Strict Julie Spanks!  I like it because she really seems to like to take control, she's very imaginative, and she really does push her husbands limits (more than I think I could take).

Her primer on how to properly beat a man turns me on and scares me as well http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/03/beating-your-man-properly.html

She recently posted about a scene she did with a Pro-Domme and her husband.  I frequently fantasize about Mistress and I visiting one and this true story sounds like it would have been a blast.

http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2017/07/punished-by-mistress-violet

One paragraph that makes my cock swell in its cage

Violet took command and ordered david to strip. He started removing his clothes. Of course I had him dressed in panties for the occasion, and Violet had a good laugh over that. These are them.



Can you just imagine my poor husband, stripped down to these panties in front of an attractive other woman? He was blushing at the fact that Violet saw him being panty trained like this by his wife.

I don't want to spoil the story with additional commentary.  It's just that this story had been rolling through my head for days.


Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Getting Caught

I woke up this morning feeling incredibly horny.  The thoughts running through my head day-in and day-out are really starting to escalate.  I have to get out of the house early this morning and had contemplated skipping my feminine dress.  However, I am so under a spell right now that I couldn't resist putting on a skirt that is a little too tight, heels that are a little to high, and an unnecessary bra.

That brings me to one of the things I have been fantasizing about.  Getting caught and being penalized in some way.  I like the idea of Mistress searching for ways to catch me disobeying.  One example is doing a "panty check" at all times. The punishment could be severe or it could be something as simple as being forced to go put on panties.  Skipping perfume could be punished with a squirt of something undeniably feminine and over powering.  Not voluntarily going into chastity when Mistress announces her period would result in a punishment (some Mistresses make their slaves wear pads during this time.  Being punished for an outfit Mistress doesn't like.  When she notices that things she requires of me are being ignored or neglected, being called out on it, punished and the expectation put back in place puts butterflies in my stomach.

I fantasize that a lot of times I would be set up to fail, just for the purpose of punishing me.  Being given a task that she knows I will forget or not do and be dealt with appropriately.  I am fantasizing right now about pulling up my skirt, pulling down my panties and stroking my cock.  I imagine Mistress quietly coming down the stairs and catching me.  What would the punishment be?  How humiliated would I feel?  The thought of this is intoxicating.



         

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Bondage As Punishment

I wasn't sure if my dressing feminine was expected to be back full time or just yesterday.  Last night Mistress indicated that it was not just for yesterday.  It's back on.  I can honestly say I wasn't it expecting it to be full time.  There are some challenges to it, but I want Mistress to challenge me more than I can put into words.  And by the hard-on in my pants I can tell you it's a good thing she is getting strict with me again!

Now for the post I created yesterday for today since I am out all day.

I am a huge fan of being tied up.  That really is #1 at the top of my list.  The tighter the better.  The other day I ran across a video of a woman tied up in an impossible position (for me at least).

http://asianastarr.com/asiana/category/whats-inside/

Listening to the banter between her and her Master you learn that she has been in this position for around 35 minutes.  She is pretty much wrecked.  It hurts to stay in this position and it hurts to move as blood moves back into numb parts of her body.  She is in tears and her breathing is labored.  I am absolutely fascinated.  Fascinated by her flexibility.  Fascinated by his sadism.  Fascinated by the concept.

He keeps taunting her.  Asking her questions.  She is in such distress she can't answer him.  He threatens her with more time and she finally answers him.   At one point he removes the rope that runs behind her neck that is keeping her keens toward her face.  While the release should be a relief, it's excruciating.  After the initial shock wears off you can see some relief, but not near enough.

The beauty of this is that he doesn't have to do anything else.  Time is the enemy.  He doesn't have to hit her or hurt her in any way although he could.  All he has to do is sit and get in her head.

Watching this I am extremely jealous.  To take something that is my favorite activity and make it my worst enemy is such a hot idea.  The most I have felt this way is with Mistress.  When we first started dating there were a couple times I was suspended to the ceiling by my wrists.  It's a difficult position but it can allow for too much movement so it because more predicament bondage than I am thinking here.  The other time I was put into the straight jacket and into the cage.  The jacket really limited my ability to reposition but I was still able to relieve the major discomfort.  I have been tied to the bed spreadeagle for quite some time, to where it hurt to be untied, but I have never been tied so long or so difficult that I have needed to use my safeword.

After watching this videos I found some more ways to use bondage itself as punishment.  I tried to find pictures of guys, but there just aren't enough.  Also, any of these positions are made much harder by being made to wear high heels.

Super Simple.  The back, hips and shoulders will start hurting in no time. This one is of the chest tied to the ankles.

I have looked and looked for the male version of this but couldn't find it.  It's the same, but the balls are tied to the ceiling to prevent movement.  

A ball gag that is way too big, forced keeling, neck restrained.  Not only will her body hurt, her jaw will fatigue badly.
Trying to gain some relief.  It doesn't work.
  
Those clothespins just add to the helpless feeling.

Knees to neck is what make this so hard.

I imagine myself in this position in my office.  

He's only restrained by one thing

High heels would make this much worse.

I love how he gets in her face.

I found one with a guy.  There is nothing he can do but wait for the pain to set in.



I love how the leather straps tie her ankles to her thighs.  The knees will feel that soon.
  
Completely helpless with 3 pieces of restraint.
   

She's not tied, but she can't move either.  That will hurt soon enough.