So I believe that Mistress has embraced the checklist I created. She apparently has worked on some changes including some work related tasks to reduce my work stress. I am still waiting to see what changes she has made and how she intends to implement it as well as how the punishments will be handled.
We did banter about it a bit last night. I got the feeling that instant correction is not on her list. I understand that. I think a blend of instant correction (for serious infractions) and accumulated correction (for less serious or for training purposes) is ideal, but this is her decision. In fact, that's what I like about it. I gave her a blue print and she can choose to use it or not. I am truly at her mercy and that's how I want it to be.
That being said I will continue to communicate my thoughts on the checklist and what I hope we can both gain from using it.
There are certain tasks and requirements that I want to be 'set in stone'. Those are the No Tolerance items and the Infractions section of the checklist. In my mind the entire No Tolerance list should be marked with a Y or a W (for waived). If even one item's box is blank on that day I have earned some degree of punishment. These items are things that I believe are the bare minimum of things I must do. A couple of them are meant to challenge me, such as PM femininity and keeping my toenail polish updated. I have a real challenge coming home from the office early and getting dressed in feminine attire. My libido is less in the afternoon so I have a hard time coming to terms with doing it even though deep down I want to. That's the reason I put it on the list. I hope Mistress keeps it on the list and enforces it. As for the toenail polish, that's meant to be a nit-picky requirement. I have been known to let my polish get ugly. By having it on the list I have made it a priority for me to maintain it and Mistress to monitor compliance before it gets ugly.
The infraction section would work the same way. If there is ever a Y in one of these boxes, I have earned a correction. Technically these are No Tolerance items as well, but they are items that should not occur.
Lastly the "Optional Task" section. I can easily see some items shifting to or from each section based on Mistress' desires, this was just a template. I created this section to give more of a 'points' approach to the list. Also many of these would depend on the type of day we had so I believe some flexibility was preferable. In reality this list could be added to the No Tolerance section. Mistress could require every single item on it to be done daily. That would certainly make me take notice. I would certainly feel more slave like if I couldn't choose to not do some of these items.
Here is how I imagine this playing out on a day-to day basis. Mistress will be the only one allowed to fill out the list. I can even imagine of a few inspection periods throughout the day to ensure compliance. I imagine the erotic humiliation of having to display my perfume, panties, butt plug, collar and toenails so those items can be checked off. I imagine Mistress assigning a protocol. Something as simple as kneeling and kissing each foot. It would only take 10 seconds but it would set a tone for the day. During the day, Mistress would complete the list as she saw fit. Before bed, Mistress would complete the list and maybe that would be the bedtime protocol. I would kneel at her feet while she completed the list.
As I wrote the previous few paragraphs something new came to mind. Maybe the "Optional Tasks" section is the pleasure section while the other 2 sections are the obedience and punishment section. While the other 2 sections have a punishment aspect to them and therefore my desire to have no leniency for them, the Optional Section could have a reward. One carrot section and two stick sections. I would have to earn a certain number of points per day/week/month to be rewarded with a bondage session that I like. I imagine punishment sessions happening more or less weekly and reward sessions happening bi-weekly, monthly or when I have earned enough points.
In closing I want to let Mistress know that I am looking forward to this experiment. I want Mistress to know that I am 100% bought into this and will do my best. I will be challenged and will have to deal with some insecurities but I want Mistress to have the utmost confidence that this is what I really, really want. For lack of a better term, I am begging that monitoring and enforcement will be very strict and punishments very real and very severe. I don't know if I can cry, but that is the type punishment I expect to endure. The fear I have felt over the last couple of sessions have made me melt with a desire to serve. Additionally I want this to work for Mistress. I want her to feel like I am providing true service to her. None of this matters if her needs are not being met and if the reward for her is not worth her effort. If anything needs to be changed, added or dropped to make Mistress happy than I am all for it. She is my Goddess!
We did banter about it a bit last night. I got the feeling that instant correction is not on her list. I understand that. I think a blend of instant correction (for serious infractions) and accumulated correction (for less serious or for training purposes) is ideal, but this is her decision. In fact, that's what I like about it. I gave her a blue print and she can choose to use it or not. I am truly at her mercy and that's how I want it to be.
That being said I will continue to communicate my thoughts on the checklist and what I hope we can both gain from using it.
There are certain tasks and requirements that I want to be 'set in stone'. Those are the No Tolerance items and the Infractions section of the checklist. In my mind the entire No Tolerance list should be marked with a Y or a W (for waived). If even one item's box is blank on that day I have earned some degree of punishment. These items are things that I believe are the bare minimum of things I must do. A couple of them are meant to challenge me, such as PM femininity and keeping my toenail polish updated. I have a real challenge coming home from the office early and getting dressed in feminine attire. My libido is less in the afternoon so I have a hard time coming to terms with doing it even though deep down I want to. That's the reason I put it on the list. I hope Mistress keeps it on the list and enforces it. As for the toenail polish, that's meant to be a nit-picky requirement. I have been known to let my polish get ugly. By having it on the list I have made it a priority for me to maintain it and Mistress to monitor compliance before it gets ugly.
The infraction section would work the same way. If there is ever a Y in one of these boxes, I have earned a correction. Technically these are No Tolerance items as well, but they are items that should not occur.
Lastly the "Optional Task" section. I can easily see some items shifting to or from each section based on Mistress' desires, this was just a template. I created this section to give more of a 'points' approach to the list. Also many of these would depend on the type of day we had so I believe some flexibility was preferable. In reality this list could be added to the No Tolerance section. Mistress could require every single item on it to be done daily. That would certainly make me take notice. I would certainly feel more slave like if I couldn't choose to not do some of these items.
Here is how I imagine this playing out on a day-to day basis. Mistress will be the only one allowed to fill out the list. I can even imagine of a few inspection periods throughout the day to ensure compliance. I imagine the erotic humiliation of having to display my perfume, panties, butt plug, collar and toenails so those items can be checked off. I imagine Mistress assigning a protocol. Something as simple as kneeling and kissing each foot. It would only take 10 seconds but it would set a tone for the day. During the day, Mistress would complete the list as she saw fit. Before bed, Mistress would complete the list and maybe that would be the bedtime protocol. I would kneel at her feet while she completed the list.
As I wrote the previous few paragraphs something new came to mind. Maybe the "Optional Tasks" section is the pleasure section while the other 2 sections are the obedience and punishment section. While the other 2 sections have a punishment aspect to them and therefore my desire to have no leniency for them, the Optional Section could have a reward. One carrot section and two stick sections. I would have to earn a certain number of points per day/week/month to be rewarded with a bondage session that I like. I imagine punishment sessions happening more or less weekly and reward sessions happening bi-weekly, monthly or when I have earned enough points.
In closing I want to let Mistress know that I am looking forward to this experiment. I want Mistress to know that I am 100% bought into this and will do my best. I will be challenged and will have to deal with some insecurities but I want Mistress to have the utmost confidence that this is what I really, really want. For lack of a better term, I am begging that monitoring and enforcement will be very strict and punishments very real and very severe. I don't know if I can cry, but that is the type punishment I expect to endure. The fear I have felt over the last couple of sessions have made me melt with a desire to serve. Additionally I want this to work for Mistress. I want her to feel like I am providing true service to her. None of this matters if her needs are not being met and if the reward for her is not worth her effort. If anything needs to be changed, added or dropped to make Mistress happy than I am all for it. She is my Goddess!
No comments:
Post a Comment