Saturday, January 26, 2019

Ramped Up!!!!

I am a huge fan of orgasm denial.  That doesn't mean I don't like orgasms.  In fact, I would love to cum every day if not a couple times a day.  In my previous marriage, I would cum at least once a day and 3-4 times a day if I was traveling.  Unfortunately, 99% of those orgasms were solo and left me unaroused.

The reason I love orgasm denial is precisely because I want to cum so badly all of the time.  I love the mind fuck aspect of not being allowed to cum.  While I am not a fan of having to wear a chastity device, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being forced to wear a chastity device.  I am tired of the honor system, where I willfully don't cum.  I was pretty good at it, but still had accidents.  I was able to edge.  I didn't feel like I was being controlled, which is what I really crave.  I am now of the mindset that if Mistress leaves my cock unlocked for any period of time it signifies permission to do as I please with my cock.

While I am a fan of orgasm denial and my fantasy is 100% denial, I realize occasional orgasms are essential in making the denial more frustrating.  I came 4 days ago.  In the couple of weeks before I came, I got used to the idea of not cumming.  Not that I have had an orgasm, I can't get the thought of having an orgasm again.  It's a delicious mind fuck.  In fact the few days after I have an orgasm are the hardest for me.  It's when I would cheat the most in the past.  Mistress would leave me unlocked and I would generally have an extra one or 2 unauthorized orgasms.  I was too weak to resist the siren call of another orgasm.  That's what happened to me the day after my last orgasm, I needed another one and I wasn't locked.  I fought it, but won't fight it the next time the situation happens.  I'll admit it and deal with any punishment Mistress deems appropriate.  That's why chastity is such a great tool to enforce control over my orgasms.

Last night was a night on the couch watching TV.  Mistress will grab me something comfortable to wear while we lounge around.  Sometimes its men's PJ bottoms and a t-shirt.  Other times it's something feminine.  I'm torn when she does this.  In the evening my libido is lower than in the morning.  When she brings me male clothes I am released, but also missing the forced feminization.  When she brings me female clothes, my anxiety peaks, I get mildly humiliated, but I also get incredibly aroused.  It's another mindfuck, which I love.  Last night Mistress picked out pink yoga pants and a thin white camisole with spaghetti straps.  I can see my nipples outlined very well in the top and I feel super exposed in the cold air.  I absolutely love how slutty it makes me feel.  The other side benefit to wearing feminine attire in the evening is that it ends up on the floor next to the bed which is what I will put on in the morning.

All of these things added up have me in quite a state.  Last night I dreamt that Mistress started making me wear body suits under my clothes during the day and at bedtime.  Some of them were so high cut on the side that they went above my pants.  I had a see-through black one, a see-through striped one a white see through one and assorted others in a drawer.  Mistress would make me show her friends what I was wearing by lifting up my shirt and the body suit would show when I bent over.  I was humiliated and that humiliation made me super horny.

So this morning I woke up with my hornniess at a level 10.  I put on my perfume, my pink yoga pants, and my white slutty camisole.   My head is spinning with ideas of how much I like being treated like a slutty nympho that is not allowed to cum.  I'm in heaven!


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