Used the way I should be

Yesterday Mistress finally used her sex slave the way he should be used.  The focus was on her and her orgasms.  We started with me on top inside of Mistress.  It had been 4 weeks since I had been inside her so I was ready to cum after about 90 seconds when Mistress had her first orgasm.  For Mistress' next orgasm I had to use my fingers inside her.  Mistress had me kneel by her side so she could stroke my cock while I fingered her.

Mistress had a couple more orgasms and she could barely stroke me 10 or so times before I was pulling away from her expert hand.  I put my cock back inside her and begged her not to let make me orgasm.  I told her how I want to denied orgsms for so long that I agree to do the most debased things she can think of.  How I want to be overwhelmed with desire and be used and abused.

Mistress had me get the Hitachi and she started playing with herself.  She told me to stop touching her and to stroke my cock.  I was warned that any cum that escapes my cock needed to be licked up.  Well that did it and I had a couple teaspoons drip out.  I quickly scooped them up with my fingers and went back to stroking.  I could only manage about 6 strokes each time before I had to stop myself.  Mistress alternated between giving herself orgams and having me do it.  Then Mistress started talking about bringing another woman into the bedroom.  I moaned.  She tentatively started to mention bringing a man in and I told her I was now at a place in our relationship where she could start teasing and talking about bringing a man into our world.  Mistress mentioned a guy sucking my cock, and then having me suck him off instead. This is still a hard limit for me, but I see no harm in bringing the discussion into our world if for no other reason than to push buttons.   Maybe someday my stance will change.

I pulled my hand away from my cock to avoid getting too close to the edge.  Within seconds I felt a pulse and before I know it my cock was dripping cum.  Then cum was boiling out of my cock and down the shaft.  A lot of cum.  I reached down and started scooping the cum into my mouth.  It took several attempts to get it all.  Overall it wasn't too bad but a couple globs made me think twice about what I was doing.  I think I can be safe saying that it's the most cum I have ever eaten - so far.  After I cooled down a bit I put my cock back inside Mistress and fucked her trying to get myself close to orgasm.  At this point my body and subconscious mind wanted an orgasm even if my submissive mind didn't want one.  But it didn't happen. I came too much to have an orgasm.  I could have kept fucking Mistress, but our room got too hot and Mistress was worn out from many gushing orgasms.  At the time I denied it, but now I can say for sure I had a ruined orgasm.  I don't think I could have made it any more ruined if I tried.

I got up and got dressed in some women's clothes.  For the next few hours I had that common let down from cumming.  I was feeling insecure and felt "off".  However it didn't last long.  Being forced back into my feminine role immediately was the best thing I could have done.  By bedtime I was getting my desperation back.  I picked out a nighty I never pick for myself as it has padded inserts.  I was ready to be back to a sissy slut.  I fell asleep replaying the day in my mind.  I relished the idea of Mistress using me the way she did with no guilt.  I thought about us doing this more frequently so that I can be trained to please her better and trained to hold back better.  I smiled as I thought about how eagerly I cleaned up my cum and how good it made me feel obey her unconditionally.

By morning I woke up with a massive hard on.  Whatever drop I had last night is long gone.  I was excited to get up and put on my feminine work out clothes.  I am working from home today and am feeling particularly naughty.  As I play back yesterday in my mind, I wouldn't change a thing except maybe not ruining my orgasm. I get turned on thinking about how I am a cum swallowing, sissy slave for my Mistress.  A slut to be used and abused for her pleasure.  I am in my happy place.  

I thought it would never stop

No touching

When I was younger I was a prolific masturbator.  I would cum 1st thing in the morning and last thing before bed.  If I was in a particular mood, I might cum a 3rd or 4th time.  Before I was married a woman online had me masturbate every hour for an entire day, I managed 6 times before I couldn't do it anymore.    This behavior carried on into my previous marriage.  I traveled a lot and would cum at least 3 times day.  When I was at home I would sneak off into the bathroom and rub one out and on vacation I would do the same.  Needless to say I had little energy for her.

The last few years of my previous marriage, I started to embrace not cumming.  We practiced some chastity, and I even managed to go a record 75 days without an orgasm at one point.  The problem was that now I had a ton of sexual energy, but no outlet for it as my ex was less than interested since it wasn't 'vanilla' sexual energy.

I have been with my current partner, Mistress and future wife for 6 years.  I embrace not cumming more than ever.  In fact, I am begging Mistress to not make me cum anytime soon.  During this time we have explored several ways of how to handle me pleasuring myself.  I have never been allowed to orgasm without permission.  However me touching myself has had many iterations.  From zero touching, to being locked in chastity, to being allowed to edge, to being forced to edge each morning, we have tried it all.  Our most recent agreement was that I can edge, but if anything drips out, I have to eat it.  That has greatly curtailed my edging and as well as how close to the edge I allow myself to get.  

Yesterday I was told that we are back to the no touching rule.  It's been so long that I forgot.  This morning I woke up with a major hard on and in my grogginess managed to give myself one stroke up and down before I remembered.  I did stop with that one stroke.  That being said, I want to touch myself now more than ever.  It's true, you want what you can't have.  I half joked that if she didn't lock me in chastity that I was going to have to lock myself up just to avoid the temptation.

I am loving how Mistress is getting more comfortable adding to my situation.  From making me wear women's clothes to the no touching rule to adding protocols, I am yearning for her to keep getting stricter and meaner.  I shudder just thinking about it.  

  

     

A Nice Edge

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A different take on "ruined orgasms"

Here is the 2nd post I saw that intrigued the heck out of me.  The term "ruined orgasm" is always something I have taken to mean as less pleasurable.  I have posted in the past about how there is a good reason to use a ruined orgasms to keep the post orgasm let down to a minimum so that the male submissive is aroused sooner.  This woman takes the concept to the next level.  She uses ruined orgasms to immediately use her man.  Here is a good synopsis in her words.

Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to go limp and enter what doctors call the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated to have sex.

But that’s not all.  It also relaxes the urgent release channels, in his brain, temporarily raising his tolerance for sexual pleasure and increasing his stamina.  Simply put… a man who’s been ruined once or twice (or more!) in a single night can fuck you harder and longer than you ever thought possible.  He can fuck (or get fucked) continuously, relentlessly, at full intensity until you’ve had as many orgasms as you want and you’re both thoroughly exhausted.  Go ahead, get sweaty!  Let him wreck you!  Flip him and ride him to your heart’s content!  He will stay rock-hard the entire time, and he won’t cum!  Or, if he does cum, it will only be after a long, intense lovemaking session, far beyond his normal, natural physical capacity.  It’s fucking AWESOME!  Some of the best sex you will ever have!

I have experienced this myself a few times.  It usually when I am inside Mistress and I leak a bit.  The need to cum is reduced and I can then go forever.  It feels good (not as good as a full orgasm) and when I do eventually go over the top it's stronger.  It's hard to stop at just the right time.  The other time I experience it is when I am edging.  Sometimes I stop and 30 seconds later cum oozes out. I lick up my own cum because I haven't had a full orgasm and the horniness is still there.  If I went over the edge, I can't imagine freely eating my own cum.  I then stop as I don't trust myself to be able to stop like that again.  There is a huge benefit being tied up as Mistress can more effectively stop than I can.  I would define this as a minimized orgasm in order to have a fuller orgasm.  It's the closest a guy can be to multi-orgasmic.

There is much, much more to her technique which can be read here   http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com/post/145637171302/the-ruined-orgasm

Take 2

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Dildo Gag & Edging

Yesterday I woke up with a slight hangover.  Hangovers tend to push my naughty mind into over drive.  As I was catching up on my bog roll, I came across a video posting of a woman dressed as a maid in rubber.  I was immediately wishing I had such an outfit.  Her Mistress was attaching a dildo gag to her face and then sat back in front of her so her slave could service her.  This is such a turn on for me so I had no choice but to edge myself.  I imagined I was doing this to my Mistress.  I love it on so many levels.  The closeness to her pussy.  The objectification of it all.  My cock locked away, my fingers, not even my mouth are worthy of Mistress' pussy.  I am reduced to being a sex toy.  I imagine being used until my neck was sore which I would feel for days.  To have my face burried so deep in her pussy I couldn't breathe.  As an added bonus Mistress is a squirter which would soak me, humiliate me and make me feel so awesomely used.  I dream of looking at her pussy knowing I can't have it, but at the same time I can see Mistress blindfolding me to make me suffer even more.  The distance and the intimacy at the same time.  I am just getting a buzz and a hard on thinking about it.

The video was only a minute and a half so I had to find some other pictures of what gets me so hot about this topic.

Today's Mood

A little fuzzy...

Yesterday Mistress and I watched the early NFL game at a friends house.  Afterward we came home and got in our hot tub.  After a good soak and some cocktails we headed for the bedroom.  I had enough to drink that looking back some of what happened is a little fuzzy.  I remember Mistress wanted to start with me tied up.  While I certainly wanted to be tied up, I wanted to pleasure Mistress first.  I love having her naked in front of me and last night was no exception.  I remember having my cock and fingers inside of her.  I remember tasting her yummy pussy wishing she would let me devour her and get her juices all over my face.  After a short while I found myself tied down to our bed.  Mistress stroked me to the edge many times.  I remember running at the mouth but don't remember much of what I said.  I know I convinced Mistress to feed me champagne via her mouth.  Lately I have had such a spitting fetish, but this was the closest I could get to having her spit on me much to my chagrin.  I asked her to let me taste her pussy after she used the bathroom.  Denied.  If I recall correctly she asked me what I should have to do when she is out of town on business in a couple weeks.  I told her I should be locked in chastity.  Then she said she may make be dress feminine that entire week when I am home.  We have cameras that she could keep an eye on to ensure I am dressed this way.  We also talked about me taking her to the airport or picking her up while dressed feminine.  That would be a huge mind fuck.  If we talked about anything else I don't remember, but I do remember wanting to consume her and be consumed by her as I was a mental mess.  Mistress gave me the impression she was going to force me to cum, even though I didn't want to, and then when I got it in my head I was going to be able to have an orgasm, she stopped.  Bummer.  

Now this morning I am in haze.  I am a little hung over and when I am hung over my mind goes into kinky over drive.  I am super horny right now a little bit of a mess.  Good thing I can be chaste without being locked up.  Looking back there was probably nothing I wouldn't have done last night.  The state of mind I was in could have made me do some things I would be humiliated about this morning, but still turned on.  Had there been another guy here, Mistress probably could have had me do her bidding.  While I still have a hard time imagining sucking another guys cock, I can imagine one sucking me off while I was tied up and Mistress watched.  I can't believe I just wrote that...

H-O-R-N-Y

It's a little over 48 hours since I had my orgasm.  I woke up extremely horny this morning.  If I had access to my cock this morning I would have been sure to edge myself whether or not I had permission to.  I fully expected my libido to be down for a few more days, but I'm not.

I have read that some Mistress make sure their slaves get an orgasm just often enough to remind them of what they are missing.  Instead of a lifetime or year of denial they may give them monthly, quarterly or semi annual orgasms.  At first I thought that's what happened to me.  Being reminded of an orgasm makes me want another one.  However, I think just being intimate and being close to the edge is what has me going right now.  I had gone more than a couple weeks with zero stimulation and ten wham, 30-40 edges.  Being stimulated to the edge of orgasm is all I need to remember what an orgasm could feel like.  In fact, Mistress used to make me edge every morning just to keep me going.  We had even played with me unlocking before bed, edging in the morning and locking up all day until bed again.  The tease is so much more effective than the denial, and both combined...WOW.  I also think egding (self or forced) builds some stamina to avoid premature ejaculation.  Using my fingers also avoids premature ejaculation so there are alternatives.

Since this period of devoted extended chastity and devoted orgasm denial is new to me I am not trying to direct the flow of what is happening.  I am only trying to identity and communicate what is going on in my head and with my body.  I am thinking I want fewer and fewer orgasms, but with frequent edging (hopefully edging from my Mistress).  Either way this journey is very fun and I like exploring different options.  I have especially enjoyed pleasing Mistress, and really do think our last couple of sexual encounters have been some of our best.            

Ruined Orgasms

Just some ruined orgasm stuff that has my mind spinning.

Nice description - http://ruinedorgasm.tumblr.com/post/133197697924/hardonebattle

I dream of this...

Hungover, Horny and Homesick

I am currently out of town on business.  Last night I had dinner and drinks with a co-worker and drank a little too much.  This morning I could have slept in, but I ended up with my common hangover horniness keeping me from falling back to sleep.

Mistress had decided to not do any D/s stuff with me on the road, which in some ways is nice, but at the same time my slutty little self misses it.  As I tossed and turned trying to fall back to sleep I imagined being locked in my plastic chastity device for the trip since it won’t set off a metal detector.  In addition to being locked I imagined being in a nighty and thinking of my locked cock wanting to rub the fabric.  I fantasized about having magic marker writing all over me or having a fake tramp stamp tattoo on my back or finding panties hidden in my suitcase.  I thought about Mistress using her strap-on on me and ignoring my cock while making me thrust myself on her cock.  I got excited thinking about being fully dressed up as Sophia.  I dreamt about an upcoming trip we have to the mountains and Mistress finding ways to tease and/or torture me in our hotel.  I edged myself at least a dozen times thinking about Mistress being mean to me and I managed to not spill even one drop of cum.  It has been weeks since I have edged, I forgot how good it felt.  I was really riding on the edge and it felt amazing.  In short, I am a little worked up thinking about my Mistress and miss her so much.

Post before I chicken out

According to the page I track my orgasms on, I just passed the 3 week mark for an orgasm.  That's my orgasms.  I certainly hope Mistress has been making herself cum while I go without.  I find that when I get past 2 weeks my thoughts, fantasies and actions get much more bold.

For example, this morning, I was watching a couple Divine Bitches samples and edging myself.  Before I even got hard I started to feel like some cum was starting to escape so I stopped touching myself.  Before long a large drop of cum oozed out of the tip of my penis and the hole in my piercing.  Normally I would grab a paper towel or kleenex and clean it up and keep edging, but in the mood I was in I said "what the hell".  I scooped up the cum between my finger and thumb and cleaned it off with my tongue.  I tried to edge again, but between the cum, my spit and more cum, I was too sticky and I couldn't get the right feeling.  So I milked what I could and kept feeding it to myself.  I would say I managed to get 3 drops the size of the cotton end on a Q-tip into my mouth.  It didn't taste bad, or my horniness made it seem to not taste bad. I had the stickiness in the back of my throat for about 30 minutes.  Reading that back I am ashamed to admit I did that.  I feel like such a slut.

Before I got carried away I stopped and went to go work out.  But before I did I changed into these workout shorts.

While working out I planned the rest of my day.  I have a few hours of work to do in which I will keep wearing my femme workout shorts.  After that I will go shave my body, however this time I am going to mix a vial of perfume from my bag of makeup in my bathwater.  After I get my body free of hair I will put on a naughty pair of lacy panties.  If I don't chicken out I will also put on some clear mascara (or black if I am brave), tinted lip balm and a couple drops of the perfume I bathed in.  I will get dressed in men's shorts and a shirt and will go to the grocery store for items for dinner.  

I am going to post this and get to work before I chicken out.  It certainly is somewhat of a mindfuck about being this horny and the things I want to do....

Hangover / Happy Place

Mistress and I recently went on a trip that involved lots of late nights and heavy drinking.  For that reason I found myself with a hangover 6 mornings in a row.  When I am hungover, I don't want to think about it and want to calm myself with happy thoughts.  The weird part about me is my happy thoughts would probably disturb most other people.  Each morning I would wake up around 7 or 8 o'clock and force myself to go back to sleep.  While forcing myself to go back to sleep, my mind would start racing to keep my mind off my hangover.  The more I thought about things, the more kinky my thoughts became.

Here are many of the things I thought about, not all are included in this list.

Mistress tying me face down and spanking me with a cane until I used a safe-word.  My goal would be to get her to quit before me.  I'd dreamt about my ass being bruised and feeling it every time I sat down for a few days.

I got super hard thinking of Mistress making me suck a dildo until I used safe-word.  I thought about her either using a strap-on or just using her hand, but I would be restrained and she would force the cock in my throat until I gagged.  I thought of getting all sweaty, having tears running down my face and drool dripping out of my mouth and even my nose.  I thought feeling like I was going to get sick.  Feeling my jaw get exhausted.  Knowing I would have a sore throat the next day.  I tried finding a good picture, but all the good ones were of women with a dildo or real cocks.  They had tears running down their faces.  Their makeup was a mess and they had a total look of surrender on their faces.  I fantasized about feeling like that.  Here is the best male sub pic I could find.

I thought about a long painful tease and denial session.  One that would have Mistress having orgasm after orgasm while I got none.  She would get me to "confess" more and more things I would do just to have an orgasm.  Then I imagine it ending one of a few ways.  Mistress making me cum inside her and making me eat it out of her.  Mistress rolling a condom on my cock and either using the hitachi on me or fucking me with the condom on.  Then she would unroll the condom and make me eat all of my cum.  

I fantasized about Mistress picking out more of my clothes on a whim.  For example, one day she might say "let me see your underwear".  Then she would make me go change them.  Or she might make me wear something the back yard that borders on feminine.  Of course there is always nightwear as well.

I also fantasized about Sophia getting a professional makeup/boudoir session.  Based on some of the transformation jobs I have seen I can only imagine how Sophia would look.  Of course, the humiliation of having someone else see me this way would only add to the excitement.  

That's kind of it in a nutshell.  I certainly had many other naughty thoughts over 5 mornings of being hung over.  These are the ones that stick in my mind.