More Demanding

I recently had a birthday and for the weeks leading up to it, Mistress kept asking me what I wanted.  I told her what I tell her every year and that I don't want a gift, I just want to be dominated by her.  I think she thinks I am kidding, but I'm not.  On Friday night Mistress and I went out to dinner.  She assured me that this weekend I would get my gift, but she didn't specify when.  She also told me that I was to start wearing a nighty "until I am told otherwise".  I initially assumed that was until I got my birthday domination session, but am under a different belief now.  I wore a nighty that Mistress picked out.  In my opinion, it's my most humiliating one.

That night, every time I tossed and turned, I would realize what I was wearing and then fantasize about what Mistress would do to me.  Needless to say I woke up extremely horny.  Saturday we had a lot of chores to do around the house.  Saturday night I again wore my nighty and again it had it's intended effect.  Let me note here that while I find this humiliating, I absolutely love it.  When Mistress makes me do anything feminine it goes straight to my brain.  Whether it's panties, or toenail polish, or more extreme things like a bra, or makeup, forcing me to do feminizing things pushes my buttons on all the right ways.  

Sunday we had more work to do but we stopped early and had some guests very for lunch and cocktails.  After several hours our guests left and Mistress said it was time for me to get the bedroom ready.  She instructed me to lay out all of the toys and such in her nightstand.  

I went to the bedroom and got it ready.  In my rush, I forgot a towel and also didn't have things as ready as Mistress liked.  I soon found myself blindfolded and spread eagle on our bed.  Mistress took a large rubber band and put it on my leg up around my thigh.  She put a couple clothespins on my nipples which I absolutely loved.  Mistress took turns stroking my cock, snapping the rubber band, and hitting me with various implements.  I begged her to not stop abusing me until I used my safeword.  I've really, really wanted to be abused for so long that it would have taken a lot for me to use it.  Between stroking my cock and keeping me on the edge, hitting me, busting my balls or using the Hitachi on the exterior of my prostate I was in heaven.  Endorphins, dopamine and any other natural drug BDSM creates in addition to my buzz had me riding such a high.  Additionally Mistress and put her fingers and a toy in my ass.  I felt so completely owned.  

At one point Mistress got off the bed and I heard a plastic bag.  I assumed and it was soon confirmed that Mistress had grabbed a pair of cum stained panties out of the bag.  The panties had been in the bag 2-3 years.  They were from a business trip I went on and Mistress made me cum in them a couple times.  She wet them with some water to refresh the scent and taste and shoved then in my mouth.  I was in humiliation heaven.  I would love to see this becoming a regular thing.

About half way through, Mistress pulled one of the clothespins off one of my nipples.  The pain was slow, but she sped it up by rubbing my nipple. The pain was intoxicating.  She waited to pull off the other one so I know that one was going to hurt more.  I loved it though.  

Out of everything that happened the thing that is stuck in my mind the most is what Mistress said to me.  She said that things would be changing.  She would be holding me more accountable.  That she was going to be more demanding and if necessary, meaner.  She told me that if I chose not to wear a nighty or forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, I would find myself locked in chastity and sleeping in a cage in the basement.  If I was mouthy or disrespectful, I would be tied to the extra bed all night.  If I refused any punishment, D/s would no longer exist for us.  I assured her that while I would hate to sleep in a cage, I would do it, solely because I yearn to have her take more control.  I can imagine crawling out of the cage after a long sleepless night and being so grateful to be let out and even more grateful that she cared enough exert more control over me.  Out of all the things that happened, the cage discussion was the hottest.

Eventually Mistress forced an orgasm out of me.  She was on top of me and I was in her tight pussy.  After I came, I was scared Mistress was going to sit on my face and make me clean her out.  We have had many discussions about making that my job every time I cum.  I'm pretty certain that if I had to do it every time, pretty soon it wouldn't be a big deal, but by only making me do it occasionally it's a much more difficult proposition.

Afterward, I was a molten mess.  My eyes were glassy, and I was in complete subspace.  While I had hoped to be pushed a little harder and forced to use my safeword, I was in seventh heaven.  All day yesterday I kept replaying the night before.  Even today replaying it has me so worked up.   I have managed to edge myself a couple dozen times.  I want to cum so bad and could sneak an orgasm, but not cumming is so more fulfilling.  I love my Mistress and the life we have built.          

A hot post from Tumblr

Very hot idea.

strappedown:

Have you ever been hooked up to a “Venus” milking...:


strappedown:

Have you ever been hooked up to a “Venus” milking machine?

I have. 

I can tell you that there is never enough restraints for what
that devious device can dish out.  If
your captor is KIND, he’ll operate it at a speed that will get you off relatively
quickly, and then turn it off and untie you.

If he is REALLY KIND he’ll operate it at a much slower pace,
and carefully monitor you, adjusting the speed slower when he sees that you are
really enjoying it.  The machine is
relentless and never gets tired, so eventually it can be stroking you ever so
slowly, and continue to do so until you sort of lose your mind, at which point
the restraints and gags really come in handy. 
An extended edging scene like that can last hours. 

And if he is the KINDEST OF ALL he’ll let it continue stroking
you AFTER you get off. You’ll really get a work out then, really test how secure
the restraints are, and really understand what it means to be milked.  That is when he turns the speed up and show
you just how fast that thing can stroke you. About five minutes into it you’ll
realize that, unlike a human arm, the thing won’t get tired.  How long will it take?  When does the agony of stroking continuous after
ejaculation turn into the pleasure of a second orgasm?  Everyone is different, but the machine will continue
to pump away regardless of how long your refractory period is.

The third orgasm is the real cincher.  Drenched in sweat, exhausted from struggling,
you learn the true definition of “being forced to cum by a machine.”

So if you ever get the opportunity to be hooked up to one,
don’t hesitate, and ask the operator to “Use a lot of restraints…and please be very,
very kind.”

Testing, Testing

In a little over 2 weeks from now, Mistress will be on a business trip for nearly a week.  My goal is to be prepared to be locked in chastity (is she chooses) while she is gone.  In order to do that I need to build up tolerance for my new chastity device since it uses the hole in my piercing to be secure.  So for the next couple weeks I will be wearing my device as much as possible while making sure I am safe in doing so.  As soon as Mistress left, I put my device on and left the keys in my desk drawer for the day.  My eventual goal is to be locked 24/7 for the rest of my life. Only released when Mistress wants me to be.  I'm amazed how light and comfortable it is to wear.

hungover and so very horny

I'm on a business trip and I'm hungover.  A perfect time to post!  I currently have a hotel coat hanger clipped to my nipples and the hanger through the piercing through my cock.  I can pretty much turn anything into a sex toy.

Last week my new chastity device arrived.  I like it a lot and had hoped to wear it on my trip, but adapting to it will take longer than I anticipated. I wore it for a bit last Wednesday. All day Thursday up until 2 in the morning.  Friday from 5 in the morning until sexy time at 7 in the morning Saturday.  It then sat in a box (hoping Mistress would discover) on the kitchen island until 5 am on Monday.  I wore it each day until 5ish PM.  I had hoped to wear it on my trip but when I took it off Tuesday there was a bit of blood from my piercing so I had to wait to get more adapted.  It's actually lighter than the piercing I currently wear so I am hoping to make this a permanent fixture in our world.  Locked unless I a being used.  It's sitting in a white box on my desk right now.  This blog post will be the first Mistress hears of my device.  

Since I am in my hungover sharing mood, I have been having a lot of fantasies over the last couple weeks about an upcoming trip we have.  We will be in a tropical location at an adults only resort where no one knows us.  I have been fantasizing about being extra naughty on this trip.  First off I imagine being in chastity the entire trip (including the pool) unless Mistress is using my cock.  That would be such a mind fuck all week.  I imagine her wearing the key to my chastity device on a necklace around her neck.  We agree if anyone asks, she tells them what it is for.  I have a super thick heavy duty cable collar/necklace that I was thinking about wearing. It's deniable, but at the same time I think about having to wear it the entire trip (especially at the pool) just to fuck with my mind.  I have also fantasized about not being allowed to bring any boys underwear and having to wear panties the entire trip as well as having to sleep in a nighty every night.  If I fail to do so, an extra humiliation or endurance of pain is performed.  On top of that I fantasize about being forced to have a painted toenail, clear painted fingernails, clear mascara or feminine deodorant, perfume or a bra when we go out in the evenings.  I will be bringing some porn to watch on the TV, including some transsexual porn.  I imagine having our restraint system available and a Hitachi in the room for Mistress to torture me with.    I imagine bringing a strap on and getting fucked every day of our trip.  I also think of being tied to a chair while Mistress pleasures herself watching porn seems so hot to me.  Having a clothes hanger attached to my nipples and the hook through my piercing while tied and teased makes me tremble in excitement. I have so many ideas running through my mind right now, I am blushing.  I would run on some more, but have to get to work.  I sure miss my Mistress. 

Sexual Sadism

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Teetering

It's been a while since I have posted as life just gets in the way sometimes.  There hasn't been much going on in my kinky mind except Sunday and today.  Sunday and today are hangover days.  Saturday night Mistress and I spent a night out of town with friends and we had a little too much to drink.  I woke up hungover and horny.  My mind immediately went to naughty thoughts.  I had imagined us going home and Mistress tying me down to the bed and teasing me for hours and not letting me cum.  We would watch TV in bed and she would torment my nipples and cock all day long.  Not practical, but still very thought provoking for my dirty mind.

Today I find myself in a similar situation.  I picked up my car this morning and on the way home decided to be a little naughty today. I told myself that I as soon as I got home I would lock myself in chastity, and wear something naughty.  When I got home I locked myself up, went into the closet and picked out one of the dresses that hang in the back.  A slutty dress isn't complete without slutty heels.  I went down to the locked closet and put some strappy 6 inch heels on (a true six inches, no platform).  I promised myself I would keep them on until 9am or until I finished this post and it's almost 9:30 now.  I made my breakfast and did some work and it was very awkward teetering in those heels, but exhilarating.

On a side note.  I had a recent dream.  I arrived at a house and walked in the front door.  Inside was a woman and she pointed me upstairs.  I went up into a bedroom and there was a man tied to the bed and blindfolded.  I shoved my cock in his mouth and fucked his face until I came and then I left.  I think he was reluctantly expecting it.  It was very quick and straight to the point, but surprising I had another dream where I was sexual with a man.  

Choices made for me

Last night Mistress and I went out to dinner.  When we came home we had to do some quick chores before relaxing on the couch.  I asked Mistress to grab something comfortable for me to wear when she went upstairs to change clothes.  She came down with a pair of women's yoga/lounge pants.  The pants are subtle, but certainly feminine.  There is no place for my cock and balls so they are fairly prominent.  I didn't think much of it last night, but I realized this morning that it had been some time since Mistress picked out something for me to wear.  There is something very powerful about picking out another person's clothes.  It goes perfectly with my desire to have control taken from me.  As I was lying in bed waking up this morning my mind raced about other things being chosen for me.

• Men's clothes.  I love it when Mistress chooses what she wants me to wear, especially if I have already chosen something else and she makes me change.
• Toys.  Wearing a butt plug or cock and ball toy gets me very hot.
• Panties.  I love it when Mistress picks out panties for me to wear, especially when I am not expecting it (like getting out of the shower).
• For a total mind fuck add a bra.
• Being told to wear pantyhose, stockings or any other feminine undergarment.  Especially when together.
• Women's trouser socks instead of mail socks.  Depending on the sock, it could be very feminine and I would be afraid of being found out no matter how unlikely. 
• Finding a nighty on the bed when I least expect it is a rush.
• Being told to paint my nails is also a rush.  Especially my fingernails.  I got hard thinking of wearing pink nail polish on my fingernails for a day or 2 on a weekend.
• Women's deodorant.  Having Mistress pick out a feminine deodorant for me to wear and her telling me when to wear it, is very hot to me.
• Women's perfume.  I fantasize about Mistress making me wear perfume at certain times.  I imagine her spraying my underwear drawer with a slutty scent.  I imagine having to wear it to bed so that I can't get it out of my mind.
• Chastity.  Being told to go in chastity is the ultimate forced item to wear. 

Choking on a dildo

It's been several days since I have edged.  I really had no intention of edging until I saw the video above.  I have seen several stills and GIFs of the above video but this is the first time I have seen it with sound and context.  In previous posts I have mentioned how I want to have my mouth raped by a dildo.  The man above does a pretty good job of taking it all, but you can see him try to pull back and you can hear him gag.  Additionally you can hear him sniffle like someone has been crying which I am sure the dildo has made his eyes water.  I love her taunting and how well she pushes him beyond what is comfortable.  During my edge I went from soft to having to stop in less than a minute and edges 5-6 times in short order.  I only stopped so that I didn't leak and have to lick it up.

My mood over the last couple days

The last few days I have run across some pictures of cross-dressers that are really good.  Some are so good, you can't even tell which for me kind of defeats the purpose.  There is just something about all of the feminine items a woman can wear.  I get mesmerized my all the fabrics and styles and how they make my cock stir.  While I am straight and very happy with my obviously male body, I am somewhat jealous of those that can pass and even more jealous of those that aren't afraid of going out dressed up.  There is just something about wearing something feminine that goes deep into my brain, even if it's under my male clothes.  Here are some of the pictures I found that are good, but not so good that you can't tell they are guys.

 

Gym Torture

I workout a few times a week and because of how I am wired I think of all the naughty things you can do with the equipment.  I mean, look below.  This dungeon is set up very gym like.  Each piece of equipment having a purpose, open floors, pulleys and levers, mirrors, etc.

For that reason I dream up ways to be tortured or torture another if I had the chance.  I imagine being tied down to a bench, head lower so my ass is up on the air and having my ass beaten until I was in tears.

Or a predicament bondage situation.

Or given a beating

Or displayed and fucked by a machine

Or dressed in Femme and displayed or put to work.

Erotic Tapping

Anyone can hit hard if they want to cause pain.  That's easy.

However, I frequently fantasize about those who can create pain with soft and gentle hitting.  There is such a mind fuck getting hit in such a soft way but having it still hurt.  Here are some writings that address my fantasies.

Kate had a length of rough hemp rope and was using it to wrap tightly around my balls. It dug into the skin of my scrotum and hurt like hell. I whimpered. Kate tied it to another rope that hung from her ceiling, pulling the rope taut until my balls were grotesquely stretched to their limit. I could even feel the pull up into the muscles of my abdomen. My cock, however, continued to bob in the air.  Resuming her position between my legs, she began tapping my balls with a small plastic ruler. The taps themselves were not hard to take at first, but after the first few, the effect was that of hitting my balls with a baseball bat. I threw my head from side to side and screamed into my gag. Kate went on and on with it until I wished I could die.  The pain was terrible, and would have caused me to double up, if I could have done it.

Another excerpt

Lady M rose and walked behind me. Not being able to see her increased my concern and anticipation. She grabbed my balls and then rested her cane on them. I heard her pause and take a deep breath. She then very slowly raised the cane and brought it down softly on my vulnerable balls. She tapped my balls and continued to softly tap them with the cane on the same spot. The pain started slowly and then really built. The repeated motion, although it was relatively soft, continued to build to increasing pain. She would not stop. I began moaning and crying which seemed to arouse her more as I heard her moans. After a long time she stopped the caning and squeezed my balls even tighter. Lady M then grabbed my defenseless cock and did the seem thing to the middle of my cock. It hurt like hell. Once again the gentle taps on the same spot built up to an incredible intensity. I was thrashing and moaning but could do nothing but take it. I had to surrender and soon felt the passion of subspace as time seemed to stand still. I was so in the moment. Lady M then paused and moved on to cane the very tip of my cock. This did hurt the most but I was in another world. I closed my eyes and focused on Lady M's growing pleasure. I was taking the pain for her. I drifted off. 

As typical with pictures online there is a lack of great pictures with men in the position I want to be in.  

There are however quite a few of women getting lightly tapped in a way I dream of.   This first one was taken from a 90 second video I saw online.  I loved how helpless she was and in fact was very jealous of the distress she seemed to be in.  I edged to it a few times while watching it.