Dressing Slutty - PM

After I got smooth all over I got dressed.  While I edged I thought everything femme.  I was very, very worked up by the time it came to dress.  I was going to go subtle, but I wanted to show Mistress just how horny I am and that I am willing to humiliate myself a little  I am going to stay dressed this way until she tells me otherwise.

Dress Slutty - AM

Mistress told me to dress slutty today.  My mind had been spinning trying to figure out what to wear.  In my mind I want to be super slutty, but I am insecure about going all out slutty.  I hate to admit how trashy I feel right now.  Since I had to work out first I decided to go with this outfit.

Now that I have worked out, I am going to take a bath and femmescape.  I will then have to pick out an afternoon outfit.  Whatever will I wear???

I'll update again this afternoon.

Ramped up

Yesterday's pantyhose and plug got me more ramped up  I thought about these kind of humiliations while edging this morning.

 



Ice Cube Tray.

Precious has asked that I post this picture of an ice cube tray partially filled with my cum, as part of a series of tasks designed to keep me entertained while she is away.

We had talked about doing something like this, but I decided to go ahead and get started, without her knowledge, one horny afternoon. Of course, when I told her, she dealt with it in her usual style….praising my sluttiness and then going on to reveal numerous uses for the cube, which left me squirming as gasping.

Her favourites included; making me hold a cube between my lips until it had melted, or dripping the melted contents into my open mouth, to mix with her juices, with the order that I was not to swallow until she gave permission.

She also described things I had never even thought of; that cum makes a wonderful lubricant, and that the smell will be perfect to remind me what a slut I am. She left me regretting my bravado at filling the cube, but also feeling like a wonderful whore. Her whore.

Yearning

Normally I post some kinky fantasy of mine or pictures that got me going.  Today is different.

I am a fairly passive guy.  I don't pick fights.  I try not to step on toes or make others feel obligated.  I prefer being an observer.  I don't initiate very well.  All of these things seem to help me feel submissive.  The flip side is that I have been told as I come across as not interested.  That's really not the case.

I am more in love with my Mistress than I have been with anyone else, ever.  She gets me on so many levels.  She doesn't nag.  She trusts me.  She indulges my fantasies.  I think about her many more times a day in so many ways.  There isn't a good way to describe my feelings.  All I know is she is my everything.

The problem is, with her I am passive and I try not to make her feel obligated and in turn I don't initiate.  My plan over the last few weeks has been to put a note on the door, asking her to come to the bedroom, so that when she comes home she knows I want her.  I chicken out.

So here is a list of what I miss.

I miss long make out sessions.
I miss lying in bed in the morning being sexual.
I miss heading to bed to be sexual when we come home from a date.
I miss being a little naughty in the car.
I miss stripping when I come into the room with candles lit.
I miss feeling like I can push her down and ravish her and know it's ok (my insecurity, not her)
I miss naked sloppy sex on a regular basis.

None of the above is to make MBB feel obligated, it's just to let her know I think about her and us constantly, to let her know I do desire her, and to let her know I acknowledge I have shortcomings when it comes to initiating.

I love her so much.

Stories I wish were male submissive instead of female submissive

I frequently find posts that speak to me, but they either end up being gay porn or male dominant/female submissive.  Below is one of those stories.  Unfortunately, now matter how much I try to consider it as a possibility, bi just does nothing for me.  If it did I would gladly trade places with the girl in the story below.  That being said, I can totally imagine me in the below story with my Mistress doing all of these things to me and in place of a real cock a squirting strap on.  I do love humiliation aspect of this all.

I can also imagine being the Master in this story.


Taken from http://lipstixxx.tumblr.com/post/60017092125/the-secret-origin-of-missy-lipstixxx

Part 1: How I Learned to Love Cock

Back when I was in my early 20s, the world was a far simpler place. The internet wasn't anything worth talking about and any fetishy socialising had to be done the old fashioned way - by going out to clubs and meeting people.

It was at one of these events that I met Master R. and Mistress S. I was immediately in thrall to them;  their experience (they were much older than me), their openness, and their obvious love for each other.

It turned out that they were looking for a part-time slavegirl. I eagerly accepted their offer, delighted that I had finally found a means of turning my increasingly outlandish masturbation fantasies into reality.

The setup was thus - I was to spend two or three weekends a month at their large house, fulfilling their every need - sexual and otherwise.

Typically this would involve a few chores and lots of chains (they were rather old-school, even for those days).

Their fondness for keeping me in tight confinement at all times meant that I was kept in a wooden box when not in use.

I was also expected to perform oral sex when required.

And of course there were a great many hard and painful spankings.

Suffice to say, I was in heaven.

But alas, there was one slight problem. Although I had hitherto believed myself to be bisexual, it was becoming apparent that I was really leaning more towards the sapphic than the straight. As the months went by it was becoming harder to hide the fact that my desires favoured Mistress S considerably more than Master R.

Oh! I tried as hard as I could, but I just couldn't muster the same enthusiasm to pleasure my Master as when I was made to eat Mistress S’s wonderful, musky, unshaved pussy.

Even now I’m getting hot just thinking about it. Gooodness me!

Still, it was clear to me  that this was a failing on my part. I was a bad slave.What I didn't realise was that my owners felt the same way.

And so, one Saturday morning I arrived at the house and was immediately taken down to the dungeon. I was alarmed at this deviation from the usual routine. I hadn’t performed any of my duties yet and I yet was being punished…?

In the dungeon,  I was ordered to strip. While doing so, I nervously looked around for clues to my fate. Master R was sitting in a leather armchair. In front of him was a short pillar that had been bolted to the floor.

Mistress S ordered me kneel in front the pillar and tied me to it by my neck, facing Master R. My hands were tightly bound behind my back. My nipples were clamped and fastened around the pillar with a short cord, severely limiting my movements.

And then my beloved Mistress stood in front of me, her ever-present riding crop tapping rythmically against the top of her left boot. “We’ve noticed, slave, that your enthusiasm for sucking cock is somewhat lacking,”

I swallowed hard. Caught! I’ve been found out!

"For the next two days, we’re going to work on rectifying this unfortuate situation. Starting now."

"Tell me slave, have you ever experienced facial bondage? It’s a rather wonderful way of dehumanising the subject, as you’ll find."

Mistress moved behind me and inserted a couple of metal devices into the sides of my mouth, pulling them tight so my mouth was streteched open, and  quickly fastening them behind my head. Then some sort of metal hook slid into my nostrils and pulled my nose back. I yelped in surprise as it too was tied off behind me. What was happening? What were they doing?

Master produced a mirror from beside his chair and held it in front of me.

"Oh…" was all I managed to say when I saw what they’d done to my pretty face. I felt like crying. I had to fight the tears back.

"Look at you," sneered Mistress. "What an ugly little creature. Only useful for one thing. And she’s not even any good at that!"

She took a dildo from her bag and put it in my mouth, playing with it, pushing it back far enough to cause me to gag.

"Just a cocksucking head on a stick. What are you?"

"A ockucking ead aw a ick." I whimpered.

"Clever girl. That deserves a little treat." Mistress produced a small, powerful vibrator from her bag and held it against my clit.

And… oh! The humiliation of seeing my degraded face, the nipple clamps slowly transforming my little tits into balls of throbbing pain… This all folded up into a wave of purest pleasure which quickly started building up into…

She abruptly pulled it away. NO!

Mistress smiled at my frustration, no doubt made all the more amusing on my distorted face. “Only good little cocksluts get an orgasm. Show me how much you want cock, whore. Show me your tongue.”

I stuck out my tongue and tried to look as cock-hungry as I could. “Please…” I begged, drool running down my chin. “Please.”

Master R. rose from his chair and approached me, unzipping his pants.

"Work your Master’s cock with your tongue, little pig."

His cock hovered just outside my open mouth, my tongue danced  around it, making little flicking motions.

As I did this, Mistress placed the vibrator on my clit, triggering the delicious sensations again. But after a miserable few seconds both the vibrator and my Master’s cock was pulled away.

"Nooooo!" I whined.

"What do you want, slut?" Demanded Mistress. "Beg for it!"

"I want cock!" I screamed. "Please please please!" It came out, "I ont ock! Ease! ease ease!"

"Ar you ready to take it in your mouth this time? That’s all you are anyway, isn’t it? Just a stupid drooling mouth."

"Yes! please please!"

And then his cock, thrusting deep into in my mouth, gagging on it, choking… the vibe buzzing against my clit, hearing myself making a combination of moans and wet slurping sounds, catching a glimpse of my piglet face in the mirror and then…

And then, at the crescendo of the most intense, mind-shattering  orgasm I had ever experienced, he ejaculated his hot cum all over my screaming face.

As he zipped himself up, mistress gently patted my head. “What a good little slut you are. I think we’ve made some progress here, don’t you?”

I nodded weakly, cum mixed with tears dribbling down my face and into my open mouth.

"Now, we’re going to leave you here for a few hours. I’ll leave the mirror propped in front of you so you can admire yourself. Then we’ll be back to do this again. Of course, by then I don’t think we’ll even need the vibrator to motivate you. I think a simple promise to remove those nipple clamps will inspire you to perform better, hmmm?"

"You will then be bound, gagged and put into your box for the night. Tomrrow the routine will be repeated all over again. We’ll make a cockslut of you yet, you’ll see."

"What do you say, slave?"

"Thank you Mistress."  The cum was beginning to dry on my face as Mistress S. left the room.

Before following her through the door, Master R. turned and spoke to me for the first time that day.

"Do you know what a shamanic initiation is, Becca?"

I looked up at him, surprised to hear him use my real name.

"Some ancient cultures believe that in order to transcend this state of being, it is necessary to put oneself through a series of intense emotional and physical ordeals. One must be broken… taken beyond the threshold and erased completely in order to achieve true potential. This is the beginning of your initiation, little slave."

"I wonder what will emerge from your cocoon?"

What does mean mean?

I woke up around 3 this morning.  While I was trying to go back to sleep I replayed some recent things Mistress has said to me.

Last night after dinner Mistress mentioned that the day she had me wear the camisole, she had originally intended me to wear panyhose or tights under my pants.  Her concern was that it was too hot that day and it would be mean.  Earlier this week she mentioned she had intended for me to re-do the nail polish on my toes, but thought it would be mean if I couldn't wear flip flops this weekend.  Last week Mistress called "safe" before I did.  I am guessing there are few more things she has thought about making me do but considers it "mean".

Now I am very lucky to have someone that wants the best for me and doesn't want to see me hurt.  In most cases that is a good thing.  The problem is I am wired a little bit differently than most.  I have also created some of her caution by being wishy-washy early on in our relationship.

Now she's right, it would have been very hot to be wearing stockings that day.  I might of even wished she didn't make me do it.  However I know deep down I would have loved it.  It likely would have been my edging material for the next day.  Same goes for the nail polish.  Me wearing flip flops takes a backseat to her wishes.  Flip flops are bad for my cracked heels anyhow.

That being said, I think I know a workaround as well as a way for Mistress to get her confidence back as far as being meaner to me.  Let's tae Tuesday as an example.  She wanted me to wear stockings but reconsidered and had me wear a camisole.  If as part of that task she said "either wear stockings or a camisole today" I could then choose.  Looking back I likely would have worn both.  Ultimately I don't want to have the choice.  I want her to make me do what she wants me to do.

I obviously have limits, but what I find to be the biggest turn on in the world is bumping up against my limits.  Going up to the edge and flirting with my limits is where the magic happens.  The edge of pain.  The edge of humiliation.  The edge of something disgusting.  The edge of breathing.  The edge of discomfort.  The edge of being outed.  The edge of cumming.  The edge of my insecurity.  These things are all meant to be pushed.

I'm sure Mistress is afraid of pushing me too far.  There is nothing to worry about.  Small steps and communication will allow her to be mean in the way I need without being mean overall.

I haven't had time to edge yet, but when I do this is what I am going to edge to.  Some people might consider it mean.

We have a bunch of weeds in our yard that need to be picked.  My edging will be me fantasizing about Mistress picking out my clothes for a day in the back yard.  I imagine my work boots and shorts of some sort.  I also imagine my legs being shackled as well as my wrists with a steel collar around my neck.  Mistress would be sitting on the patio reading magazines or surfing porn.  She would be playing with herself while watching me work.  After I was done with the weeds she would inspect my work, and point out weeds I missed.  I would then be taken in for a punishment for missing the weeds.

I should be careful what I wish for, but I can't.

Side Note.  Sunday marks one year of me keeping track of orgasms.  Here are the stats.

40 Total Orgasms
4  Ruined
3 By my own hand - with permission

Femme

Yesterday Mistress had me wear a camisole under my dress shirt while I went out to visit my customers in their offices.  The camisole I chose was a light blue one to go under my blue shirt.  It has a built in shelf bra and is very form fitting.  While I was getting dressed it didn't feel right to wear men's underwear with it, so I chose a pair of panties with the closest color.  These panties were lace so my cock and balls could feel anything on the other side of the lace.  They also offered no support, so my cock and balls were constantly reminded of being in panties.  While getting dressed my head was swimming with naughtiness and I had a slight buzz.  I was so buzzed I didn't wear a loose shirt like I was planning, but a fitted one to make it a little more risky (even if only in my mind)  During the day I would look in the mirrors in elevators and bathrooms.  I could easily see the top of the camisole, but I am certain no one else did. The mind fuck of thinking I would be found out even though the likelihood was one in a million was potent.  Last night when I came home I imagined being only in the camisole and panties along with a pair of heels.

Last night and into this morning the femme thoughts only got stronger.  I edges to the idea of panites or fishenets or panty hose under my clothes (without socks).  The camisole got me to thinking about wearing a bra.  Then it went to a body suit, body stocking, waist cincher, etc.  Before I worked out I thought of being in femme workout clotes and even thought about wearing a 90's era areobics outfit.

In short, I am in a Femme mood thanks to Miss Bossy.

Stuff

Last Tuesday night Mistress tied me down and beat the insides of my thighs.  Between the alcohol, endorphins and lust I had, she stopped before I safeworded.  I was sad at the lack of marks I had.  A week later I still have thin red lines from one implement as well as overall yellowing of the skin from the very light bruising I had.  I can't wait to repeat that.

Mistress is making me go out to see my customers today with a camisole on under my shirt.  I am a little nervous, but figure if I wear a looser shirt It won't be a big deal.  It took me awhile to find the camisole.  I have all of my feminine clothes in the basement.  I thought they were in a suitcase, but they were hanging.  While looking I was going through skirts, stockings, corsets, girl jeans, tights, etc.  That got me to thinking about wearing them.  That got me to thinking about what to edge to today.  I have read with some interest in the past about Mistresses that use a treadmill to make their slaves "walk a mile in their shoes".  Sometimes to punish their slaves for walking too fast when they are out, or to just get them walking more feminine.  Usually their cock is tied up to the front of the treadmill so the slave has to keep pace.  His hands are tied behind him, and the Mistress turns on the treadmill.  Speed isn't the goal, but distance is.

That in turn made me think about Mistress using the high heel locks on me while I am working from home.  I would be forced to wear heels from 6:30AM to 6ish PM.  I also edged to thinking about being locked in the stocks in the basement while wearing heels.  The combo of being bent over and also being on heels would be torture.

Edging while wearing the butt plug I was told to wear gets me so close to the edge so fast.  I did leak some,  but it wasn't so much me getting to close to the edge.  It;s the blug milking cum out as my kegel flexes against the plug and therefore my prostate gland.

  

Desires...

Some desires I have been thinking about but have not put in writing in some time.  I am doing this at the request of MBB.

My number one desire is to know what Mistress desires.  I always tell her my thoughts, but I really, really want to know what makes her hot.  I want to know what she thinks about when she gets herself off.  I want to know what she would make me do if she could.  Even if it does nothing from me, I want her to whisper her fantasies in my ear while we have hot sex.

My ass.  MBB asked me what I want done to my ass.  A good hard spanking would be one thing.  One to where I am begging her to stop.  Real begging.  We will have to work up to it to get her confidence level up.  She is worried about hurting me.  Ass fucking.  MBB telling me some afternoon to be clean and prepared for her.  It could be the fucking machine, her using a dildo, or her making me use a dildo on myself.  I also imagine her beating my ass while I have a shaved piece of ginger in my ass so my clenching makes it sting (http://tacit.livejournal.com/225189.html)

Chastity.  When I think of this I always imagine it being a pretty active scenario.  Lots of teasing, serving Mistress, pleasuring Mistress all with the idea that I won't be released or if I am released, locked back up without an orgasm.  I imagine lying in bed next to her, locked up and watching her pleasure herself (or being blindfolded while she does it).  Every night.
Unfortunately the chastity I fantasize about takes a lot of effort on Mistress' part.  Now on the flip side, I can still imagine chastity without all of that attention, but it would be much harder for me to take mentally and I can imagine some frustration and possibly acting out.

Cage.  We have a dog cage.  I desire to be locked up in it.  Not because I want to be in a cage, but because I want to know that MBB has the confidence to know she can lock me up and I will accept it.  I imagine after the first hour or 2 I would hate it, but knowing she "forced" me to do it, would be super hot.

Writing lines.  Either as punishment or as a way for me to end something (chastity) or to get something I want (scene time).  I'm not sure why this idea gets me hot, but I think it's because the task would take no effort on MBB's part, and it would be tedious and make me be focused.  I even found some online writing tools that track errors and add on lines for mistakes or delays.  http://writeforme.org/

Feminization.  Panties every day.  Other undergarments when MBB chooses.  Nighties.  I really like her telling me to do it versus me just doing it.  It feels more like an order versus me just doing it.  Making me do something Femme in public.  Humiliating me in a feminine way.  Verbally taunting me about feminine things.

Cum eating.  I don't want to taste my cum (I really don't), but certainly want to be forced.  Addressed in detail HERE .  Actually I can think of a few things I don't want in my mouth, but the idea of it being forced gets me hot.

Some sort of scene where I am safe wording due to pain, frustration, fear, humiliation etc.  I imagine myself almost in tears before she decides to stop what she is doing.  I am sure pushing me this hard scare her, but I think we could build up to it.  I really dream of not being in control of a situation.   Like the saying goes, it's not bondage until you want out.

Skin cutting or marker writing.

Predicament bondage.  Much like one I used on her when we first met.  She could even make me create it...

Those are the things that have been running through my mind most recently.  Thank you Mistress for making me put them in writing again.

Today's Edge - Feminization

Between the weather turning cold and all of the new season of fashion magazines showing up at our house, today's edge had me thinking about feminine attire.  Panties, stockings, skirts, dresses, workout clothes, boots, heels, nighty's, etc.  It makes my head spin a little bit. What is unusual is I don't really get the feminization desire until longer times between orgasms.  I really do think it has something to do with the weather.  It may also have something to do with a few pictures I saw over the last couple days with very passable dressers.  I'm jealous of a couple of them...

Today's Edge - Upcoming Trip

Mistress and I just got back from a nice long trip.  It's good to be home though.  During our trip we got to have sex and it was great.  Mistress said a few things when we did that got me off very quickly, and they have stuck in my mind ever since.  This morning I edged to those thoughts.

I have to travel for business this week.  Mistress told me that since she didn't want me wearing my steel collar on the road I would have to paint my toenails.  Now that always weirds me out since we have to take off our shoes at the airport, but other than wearing super thin socks, no one would know.  I always imagine people are paying far more attention to me than they are.  The other thing she said was that she planned on beating my ass so that I had something to remember her by.  I imagine me being tied face down on the bed and her going to town on my ass.  I edged thinking of being bruised (deeply).  I am sure I need to be punished for something.  I edged again thinking of Mistress gagging me with dirty panties so that our poor dog doesn't think she is killing me.  I edged again thinking of her giving me an "unsafe" word.  Since we don't play with safewords it would be a way for me to signal to her to not stop.  I could signal I have had enough, but that wouldn't mean that she has.  I edged again thinking of spanking me while plugged so that every clench fucks my ass.  I imagine her then using my cock for her pleasure while she feels the heat and the welts on my ass.

I then imagine the hard plane seat causing me discomfort for the next 2 days as a constant reminder of what I crave from her.  I also imagine her coming up with something else to humiliate me while out of town.

I do love her so much.