Yearning

Normally I post some kinky fantasy of mine or pictures that got me going.  Today is different.

I am a fairly passive guy.  I don't pick fights.  I try not to step on toes or make others feel obligated.  I prefer being an observer.  I don't initiate very well.  All of these things seem to help me feel submissive.  The flip side is that I have been told as I come across as not interested.  That's really not the case.

I am more in love with my Mistress than I have been with anyone else, ever.  She gets me on so many levels.  She doesn't nag.  She trusts me.  She indulges my fantasies.  I think about her many more times a day in so many ways.  There isn't a good way to describe my feelings.  All I know is she is my everything.

The problem is, with her I am passive and I try not to make her feel obligated and in turn I don't initiate.  My plan over the last few weeks has been to put a note on the door, asking her to come to the bedroom, so that when she comes home she knows I want her.  I chicken out.

So here is a list of what I miss.

I miss long make out sessions.
I miss lying in bed in the morning being sexual.
I miss heading to bed to be sexual when we come home from a date.
I miss being a little naughty in the car.
I miss stripping when I come into the room with candles lit.
I miss feeling like I can push her down and ravish her and know it's ok (my insecurity, not her)
I miss naked sloppy sex on a regular basis.

None of the above is to make MBB feel obligated, it's just to let her know I think about her and us constantly, to let her know I do desire her, and to let her know I acknowledge I have shortcomings when it comes to initiating.

I love her so much.