I spend a lot of time counting days lately. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks and Sunday will be one month since I have had an orgasm. It is currently the longest I have gone without an orgasm in 8 or 9 years. I have been in chastity 19 days which is the longest I have ever been locked up. It's been 13 days since I have been close to the edge and that long since I have been able to be aroused without discomfort. Again, another record.
It may sound like I am complaining, but quite the contrary. I am amazed by it really. Being locked certainly has its challenges, but with Mistress' encouragement and my own goals I am pushing ahead and enjoying it. My fantasies are consumed with the thought of pleasuring Mistress. Of giving her long massages. Of giving her multiple orgasms however she wishes. Of having my face buried in her pussy or the dildo gag in my mouth and my nose getting soaked in her juices. Of her using my cock for her pleasure without letting me cum. Of me being inside her while we work to train me to pleasure her time after time without me being pushed past the edge.
My desire to go as long as possible without cumming is not about not having sex. In fact I want as much sex with Mistress as possible. I want to see if the Tantric and Taoist theory's about being able to orgasm without ejaculation are possible. I want to be a hot mess whenever Mistress uses me. I want to feel pride and despair at the same time when Mistress makes me lock back up right after she has cum a dozen times and soaked the sheets. I want to hear her taunting me of the orgasms she has without me. I want to make her cum and cum and cum until she is exhausted. I want to be teased until I am in tears and locked back up.
I am now at a point that if I had an orgasm, I would feel it was a punishment. To go this far and to have to start back at zero would be devastating. I get a certain amount of sub-drop or post orgasm drop after I cum and I can only imagine it would be a hundred times worse now. Although I know ruined orgasms or prostate milking minimize the emotional drop and allow a sub to get back into that sub-space much quicker, even the slightest bit of release seems like would be more frustrating than the frustration I feel of not cumming.
I have no idea if what I just wrote makes any sense. My mind is a bit of a mess. My cock went hard a dozen times while writing that my brain is stewing in hormones. I am in heaven!
Showing posts with label pussy worship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pussy worship. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Monday, December 28, 2015
Stuff running through my mind
Instead of a topic, this post is just a bunch or random stuff going through my mind.
I was given a list of tasks today. I enjoy being able to help Mistress with things she feels need to be done. On top of it she added the kinky task of my butt plug. 2 times in less than a week. I feel very fortunate. I also vacuumed the house as I know Mistress wanted it done even though she didn't ask me to.
Chastity is still going very, very well. I don't know my record being locked up, but believe it's in the 10-14 day range. I have gone far longer without cumming, but that doesn't really count any longer. Normally I feel sorry for myself or get pissy because I am not getting other D/s, but my mindset has changed. For some reason, chastity feels right this time around. I mention this to let Mistress know I am really ok with staying locked up or released for some fun and locked right back up. If this changes or I am having issues, I will communicate and not let it build up.
Nighty. Mistress is continuing to have me wear a nighty. Here is last night's. This one is a little tight but it certainly goes straight to my head. I have been in such a mood the last 3 days I have worn my nighty long after I woke up. It's too cold to wear it by itself, but I put my pajama pants and shirt on over the nighty. I am able to still feel the straps and the bottom of the nighty. It makes me feel very naughty. I imagine having to wear my nighty under my clothes some nights before Mistress gets home from work as well when I get up. In the summer, nighty only.
Errands. With the mood I am in I can sexualize just about anything. When I go to the dry cleaners I imagine Mistress only having me drop off my feminine clothes. Or even worse, just one item that clearly is a little slutty and in my size. At Walmart or Costco, I imagine Mistress telling me to buy something feminine with the other things. Today they had women's Speedo one piece swimsuits at Costco. I imagined having one that I would have to wear in our hot tub.
Orgasm without ejaculation. I have been doing a lot of reading on this topic and it seems like it's something that can occur with some practice. The best part is that it seems multiple orgasms can be achieved. I can only imagine the mindset I would have going months without post orgasm let down.
Massage. Mouth, fingers and toys. Until I am up to a stage where I can orgasm without cumming, I have thought A LOT about serving Mistress with my hands, mouth, and toys. I want to tease (in a good way to build up an orgasm). I want to make her write with pleasure and squirt all over. I want to be able to know her body like I never have so that she can derive the most amazing pleasure. And the best part is my needs don't matter. If she wants my cock in her, I will do that. If she wants me locked up I will do that. I just want to make her cum over and over and over again until she is spent.
Communication. Mistress warned me the other day that she would need time to ramp up into more of a D/s mindset. I completely understand. I tend to get over excited, however this time around I have a different mindset. I have no preconceived notions of things happening. I want to enjoy my chastity and denial and focus that energy into pleasing and serving Mistress. I am excited to focus on Mistress pleasure sexually, and while I still want intercourse I'm hoping to delay my next ejaculation as long as possible. I can appreciate Mistress wanting to take getting back into D/s slow. To help me with it, I just need a little bit of encouragement. Tasks, picking out my nighty or other naughty items, and occasionally bringing up my situation in a naughty way will go a long way. I get mentally insecure, so for me to know I am doing something that turns Mistress on in some way is a great way to take away any doubt I may have.
I was given a list of tasks today. I enjoy being able to help Mistress with things she feels need to be done. On top of it she added the kinky task of my butt plug. 2 times in less than a week. I feel very fortunate. I also vacuumed the house as I know Mistress wanted it done even though she didn't ask me to.
Chastity is still going very, very well. I don't know my record being locked up, but believe it's in the 10-14 day range. I have gone far longer without cumming, but that doesn't really count any longer. Normally I feel sorry for myself or get pissy because I am not getting other D/s, but my mindset has changed. For some reason, chastity feels right this time around. I mention this to let Mistress know I am really ok with staying locked up or released for some fun and locked right back up. If this changes or I am having issues, I will communicate and not let it build up.
Nighty. Mistress is continuing to have me wear a nighty. Here is last night's. This one is a little tight but it certainly goes straight to my head. I have been in such a mood the last 3 days I have worn my nighty long after I woke up. It's too cold to wear it by itself, but I put my pajama pants and shirt on over the nighty. I am able to still feel the straps and the bottom of the nighty. It makes me feel very naughty. I imagine having to wear my nighty under my clothes some nights before Mistress gets home from work as well when I get up. In the summer, nighty only.
Errands. With the mood I am in I can sexualize just about anything. When I go to the dry cleaners I imagine Mistress only having me drop off my feminine clothes. Or even worse, just one item that clearly is a little slutty and in my size. At Walmart or Costco, I imagine Mistress telling me to buy something feminine with the other things. Today they had women's Speedo one piece swimsuits at Costco. I imagined having one that I would have to wear in our hot tub.
Orgasm without ejaculation. I have been doing a lot of reading on this topic and it seems like it's something that can occur with some practice. The best part is that it seems multiple orgasms can be achieved. I can only imagine the mindset I would have going months without post orgasm let down.
Massage. Mouth, fingers and toys. Until I am up to a stage where I can orgasm without cumming, I have thought A LOT about serving Mistress with my hands, mouth, and toys. I want to tease (in a good way to build up an orgasm). I want to make her write with pleasure and squirt all over. I want to be able to know her body like I never have so that she can derive the most amazing pleasure. And the best part is my needs don't matter. If she wants my cock in her, I will do that. If she wants me locked up I will do that. I just want to make her cum over and over and over again until she is spent.
Communication. Mistress warned me the other day that she would need time to ramp up into more of a D/s mindset. I completely understand. I tend to get over excited, however this time around I have a different mindset. I have no preconceived notions of things happening. I want to enjoy my chastity and denial and focus that energy into pleasing and serving Mistress. I am excited to focus on Mistress pleasure sexually, and while I still want intercourse I'm hoping to delay my next ejaculation as long as possible. I can appreciate Mistress wanting to take getting back into D/s slow. To help me with it, I just need a little bit of encouragement. Tasks, picking out my nighty or other naughty items, and occasionally bringing up my situation in a naughty way will go a long way. I get mentally insecure, so for me to know I am doing something that turns Mistress on in some way is a great way to take away any doubt I may have.
Saturday, December 26, 2015
OMG!
It has now been a little over 2 weeks since I have had an orgasm, and 8 days I have been in chastity. I am riding a wave of sexual energy that has me on cloud-9. When I think of chastity and orgasm denial this is what it is about.
I have to give Mistress a lot of credit. Her "recalibration" email was done perfectly at the perfect time. I have gone back and read emails from 5 years ago after we first met. Had I not been so difficult, we would be much deeper into D/s than we currently are. Reading those emails has me committed to doing what it takes to make it happen. Looking back, Mistress had all the right ideas. She had rules, protocols, she asked lots of questions and would remind me of what I had asked for. That being said, I am committing to getting us to where we should be. It was me that messed it up so it's me that needs to fix it. I need to submit like I never have and do things without question.
Mistress and I recently spent a couple nights away from home. We had a couple days to talk about where things are headed. I confessed that I thought Mistress has been far to kind with allowing me to orgasm. Going back through a lot of those emails, I realized some of our best sex was when I didn't cum. It took a long time to convince her back then that I didn't need to cum. I remember her trying to make me cum and me refusing. We had a ton of great sex we were both satisfied. My favorite was to give her multiple orgasms and then to have her push me off and tell me she was done with me. To me that was the epitome of a female led relationship.
I communicated that while wearing my chastity device was somewhat difficult, I am committed to being locked up for as long as possible. While I am pretty good at being chaste without a device, the device enforces the D/s aspect of our relationship. Also, now that I have changed my mindset regarding a device, it is easier to wear. I confessed to Mistress that I can imagine my cock being locked for the rest of my life, only to be let out for her pleasure. I can imagine being unlocked almost daily, just long enough to make love to Mistress and when she has had her fill of orgasms I would be immediately locked up. I can imagine never touching my cock again. All of my pleasure would come from Mistress. I wouldn't become one of the chastity slaves that cum when the wind blows. I would be a chastity slave can make Mistress cum again and again while holding my own orgasm back.
All of this talk got Mistress and I worked up. We headed back to our room and proceeded to get naked. I begged Mistress to not unlock me as I wanted to make sure I pleased her and I also didn't want to accidentally cum. Much to my surprise Mistress let me go down on her. Oral sex is something Mistress rarely lets me do. Some guy in her past fucked it up for her and that is a shame. As a submissive male, giving oral sex huge. Giving oral sex and using my fingers while my cock is locked up is priceless. To me, kissing and licking her pussy should be a frequent occurrence. She has some concerns about the scent. Scent is an incredibly powerful trigger for me. Scent has a way of getting to the brain more than any other stimuli. For me, the smell of leaves on the ground in the fall takes me back to junior high. Scent is one thing you see me posting about frequently. Thinking of having a pair of Mistress dirty panties or tights stretched over my nose while my mouth is taped closed makes my head spin. Spending hours between Mistress legs does the same for me.
Mistress did order me to unlock and put my cock inside her. For the most part I was able to pleasure her with my cock, but frequently had to stop so that I didn't cum. I was so happy she didn't order me to orgasm. I managed to give Mistress many orgasms, mostly with my fingers. She came so hard and squirted so much that it reminded me of the old days. I love watching her cum. I love making love to her. I love pleasing her sexually. As we "recalibrate" I would like to spend much more time pleasuring Mistress. I want to re-learn her body. I want to make her cum and cum and cum. Since I am committed to not having an orgasm for quite some time, I want to focus that energy on her.
When Mistress was fulfilled, she ordered me to clean off and to lock myself back in chastity. I was happy to do so. Even though I didn't cum, I was incredibly satisfied with the sex. I felt fulfilled as a submissive and by not cumming I am still as turned on without any let down.
While Mistress and I were getting ready for dinner she asked me my thoughts on playing with a 3rd person. We have spoken about this many times in the past so it wasn't a surprise. I will post about that in another post as I want this post to be about pleasing Mistress.
I have to give Mistress a lot of credit. Her "recalibration" email was done perfectly at the perfect time. I have gone back and read emails from 5 years ago after we first met. Had I not been so difficult, we would be much deeper into D/s than we currently are. Reading those emails has me committed to doing what it takes to make it happen. Looking back, Mistress had all the right ideas. She had rules, protocols, she asked lots of questions and would remind me of what I had asked for. That being said, I am committing to getting us to where we should be. It was me that messed it up so it's me that needs to fix it. I need to submit like I never have and do things without question.
Mistress and I recently spent a couple nights away from home. We had a couple days to talk about where things are headed. I confessed that I thought Mistress has been far to kind with allowing me to orgasm. Going back through a lot of those emails, I realized some of our best sex was when I didn't cum. It took a long time to convince her back then that I didn't need to cum. I remember her trying to make me cum and me refusing. We had a ton of great sex we were both satisfied. My favorite was to give her multiple orgasms and then to have her push me off and tell me she was done with me. To me that was the epitome of a female led relationship.
I communicated that while wearing my chastity device was somewhat difficult, I am committed to being locked up for as long as possible. While I am pretty good at being chaste without a device, the device enforces the D/s aspect of our relationship. Also, now that I have changed my mindset regarding a device, it is easier to wear. I confessed to Mistress that I can imagine my cock being locked for the rest of my life, only to be let out for her pleasure. I can imagine being unlocked almost daily, just long enough to make love to Mistress and when she has had her fill of orgasms I would be immediately locked up. I can imagine never touching my cock again. All of my pleasure would come from Mistress. I wouldn't become one of the chastity slaves that cum when the wind blows. I would be a chastity slave can make Mistress cum again and again while holding my own orgasm back.
All of this talk got Mistress and I worked up. We headed back to our room and proceeded to get naked. I begged Mistress to not unlock me as I wanted to make sure I pleased her and I also didn't want to accidentally cum. Much to my surprise Mistress let me go down on her. Oral sex is something Mistress rarely lets me do. Some guy in her past fucked it up for her and that is a shame. As a submissive male, giving oral sex huge. Giving oral sex and using my fingers while my cock is locked up is priceless. To me, kissing and licking her pussy should be a frequent occurrence. She has some concerns about the scent. Scent is an incredibly powerful trigger for me. Scent has a way of getting to the brain more than any other stimuli. For me, the smell of leaves on the ground in the fall takes me back to junior high. Scent is one thing you see me posting about frequently. Thinking of having a pair of Mistress dirty panties or tights stretched over my nose while my mouth is taped closed makes my head spin. Spending hours between Mistress legs does the same for me.
Mistress did order me to unlock and put my cock inside her. For the most part I was able to pleasure her with my cock, but frequently had to stop so that I didn't cum. I was so happy she didn't order me to orgasm. I managed to give Mistress many orgasms, mostly with my fingers. She came so hard and squirted so much that it reminded me of the old days. I love watching her cum. I love making love to her. I love pleasing her sexually. As we "recalibrate" I would like to spend much more time pleasuring Mistress. I want to re-learn her body. I want to make her cum and cum and cum. Since I am committed to not having an orgasm for quite some time, I want to focus that energy on her.
When Mistress was fulfilled, she ordered me to clean off and to lock myself back in chastity. I was happy to do so. Even though I didn't cum, I was incredibly satisfied with the sex. I felt fulfilled as a submissive and by not cumming I am still as turned on without any let down.
While Mistress and I were getting ready for dinner she asked me my thoughts on playing with a 3rd person. We have spoken about this many times in the past so it wasn't a surprise. I will post about that in another post as I want this post to be about pleasing Mistress.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Oral Worship
For the most part Mistress isn't into receiving oral sex. I don't think it does much for her, as she is big into penetration. However that doesn't mean I don't fantasize about being required provide oral sex or to be tortured with her pussy. For some reason in both Male Dom and Female Domme porn, being required to service the dominant is seen as submissive. For that reason I frequently fantasize about Mistress making me service her pussy and ass, her smothering me with her pussy and ass as well as squirting all over my face when she comes. I dream of her taking her juices and smearing them all over my face and not untied until they are dry. Forbidden to wash them off. I think about hours spent between her legs, sometime gagged just so I can be immersed in her scent. Mistress using her body to not only pleasure herself but to humiliate me in the process, I get hard just thinking about it. I want to be her pussy worshiping slave.
Here are some hot examples (many, many examples)
Here are some hot examples (many, many examples)
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