A 'Time Out' Fantasy

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Locked, painted and sleeping in a nighty

We’ve been busy.  Very busy, so I am not able to post as much as I would like to.  Here’s a quick update on the last few weeks.

I have been unlocked from my chastity device since November 30^th which means I have been free for 3.5 weeks.  I also haven’t worn a nighty or had my toenails painted for the same amount of time.  I have been occasionally wearing a pair of panties when I am overcome with naughty thoughts.

Since I have been unlocked I have been touching myself a fair amount.  Mistress has been getting out of bed before me and when I can’t fall back asleep I reach down and edge myself over and over.  In some cases, I edge 40-60 times before getting out of bed.  That's not as much as it sounds as I can edge a few times a minute.  I don’t leak much, but when I do I lick it up.  That’s one way to start my day, with the taste of cum in my mouth.  Ick.

While edging I have many, many fantasies.  My more frequent fantasies are predicament bondage and extreme edging, denial and forced orgasms. 

I love the idea of being tied in a way that makes me uncomfortable and where I have to choose between 2 bad choices.  Nipples tied to feet.  Tied bent over in heels.  Tied in a squat position.  Clothespin zipper that I inevitably have to rip off myself.  So many ideas. 

I also long to be tied for hours upon hours being edged.  Of course this long of a scene would be somewhat boring for Mistress so I dream of automating it on some level.  Using the Hitachi and cock sleeve on an intermittent timer that I have.  I can set it to run 30 seconds and off for a minute or any variation of those times.  It can run indefinitely.  If I cum?  Too bad.  The vibrations don’t stop.  I imagine similar treatment with the Venus 2000 sucking machine.  For this, I imagine it being on a very slow sucking motion and I am kept on the edge for hours.  Once I cum, the machine is turned up and the sucking gets stronger and faster.  The goal being,  to make me cum as many times as possible, and when I do cum, to have a brutal post orgasm torture.  I imagine this treatment being used as a punishment instead of a reward.  The first orgasm would feel good, but I would fight having it knowing what would happen after I came.  Mistress could certainly use my mouth or masturbate next to me, but to be able to do this for hours she would need to be able to leave me.  We have a baby monitor app that could be used to monitor me.

 

As I stated it’s been almost a month since I had any kink/chastity/feminization.  That changed yesterday.  Mistress had me give her an orgasm with my cock.  As I was pleasuring her, Mistress commanded that I lock myself up in chastity, paint my toenails and start wearing nighties again.  That put me over the edge.  I tried to keep from cumming and ended up ruining my orgasm in the process, right before asking for even more tasks.  Thank you Mistress! Please feel encouraged and emboldened to add extra torments, tortures, tasks and humiliations to my world. I yearn to suffer for you.

Good thing Mistress had me lock back up.  There is nothing like a ruined orgasm that makes me want to masturbate to orgasm.  This morning would have been the time to do it too, as Mistress got up before me.  I’m fairly certain I would have had an unauthorized orgasm. I have been planning on getting myself off after my next orgasm. Chastity is keeping me honest.   

If I stay in chastity the rest of 2018, I will have been locked up for almost 4.5 months in 2018.  For short of 365 days, but  I will be locked up almost a month longer (29 more days) in 2018 as I was in 2017, and locked up 2 times as much as I was in 2016.

All in all, 2018 has been good.  I don’t ‘like’ being locked in chastity, but I LOVE being made to wear a device as much as possible.  I don’t ‘like’ sleeping in a nighty, but I LOVE that I have to wear it or any other item of Mistress’ choosing.  I don’t ‘like’ painting my toenails, but I LOVE the rush I get when I see my painted toenails and what that means.  In short, I LOVE doing many, many things I don’t ‘like’. 

Here’s to a naughty 2019! 

And another edging morning

Mistress stepped out this morning for a meeting.  I was able to edge a good 20 times with just a little git of leakage (that I licked up).  Today's edging motivation was predicament bondage.

Jealous

Over the last few years I have acquired a good selection of BDSM videos that are on my hard drive.  A good number of them were from when I was a member of the Kink.com family of websites.  Now my preference is Femdom videos, but I also saved a good portion of Male Dom, Female to Female, and even some transexual and gay BDSM porn as Mistress sometimes likes to watch those types of videos.

I don't watch these videos often.  Maybe if I or we are traveling, and very rarely at home.  Yesterday was one of those rare days.  I have a Roku video streamer and there is a channel on it that is connected these videos so we can watch them on any of our large screen TV's.  Mistress stepped out to get her nails done and run a couple errands. I was working from home doing some tedious online class for work, so I decided to have some entertainment playing in the background waiting for the online class to progress.  I went into the "all videos" section and decided on the letter P, hoping to find some predicament bondage.

I first watched a couple girls Domme a guy.  It was a lot of boring spanking and ass fucking, so I fast forwarded through much of the video until they made him cum and then made him eat his cum.

Then I watched a very short one where a guy was tied up in a jail cell.  The woman came in and stroked him to orgasm and then kept on stroking until he was begging her to stop.

The next one was a guy locked in chastity.  The only stimulation he gets is his Mistress kneads his balls until he has an orgasm.  After he cums she makes him fuck himself in the ass with a dildo to show his obedience after an orgasm.  That's devious.  

The next one I stumbled across was called Point of No Return.  It's from the Kink.com's Device Bondage.  Now this one is Male Dom which doesn't do it for me as much as Femdom does.  However in this case it did an awful lot for me.  Mainly because of how jealous I was of what this woman had to endure.  Just to be clear, most of what this woman goes through rides a fine line of being too much.  In every scene there are tears, screams, yelling in frustration, hopelessness, fear, pain, humiliation, exposure, degradation and for her, many, many orgasms. 

The first scene is my favorite, mainly because this one would be the easiest for us to duplicate at home.  The scene starts with the woman fully dressed and bent over in a stockade type restraint.  We have one of these in the basement, not exact, but close enough.  She is in heels, a dress, and panties.  I imagine she has been left in this position for some time, to wear her down both physically and mentally.  In this position she is to high to kneel and too low to get any relief for her lower back.  I am certain the heels are adding to her discomfort.  And now I am jealous wishing I could trade places.    

Picture of the stockade in our basement.  

The Dom comes in the room and fondles her for a bit to show her how helpless she really is.  He whips her enough to get her dancing in pain.  He then removes her panties and keeps whipping her.  Not too hard, but certainly not too soft.  After a bit he uses scissors to cut her dress off of her leaving her completely exposed.  Next come the clover style nipple clamps.  But he is extra mean and uses 3 sets of them.  While I would absolutely hate 3 sets, I am again jealous.  

After the clamps are on, he takes a string and ties it from the center of one pair of the nipple clamps and then has her bend her knees.  He then ties the ends of the string to each of her knees.

He then whips her a bit trying to get her to straighten her legs and pull the clamps off.  She resists and keeps her knees bent, so he steps it up.  He grabs a cattle prod and walks behind her.  She can't see it but she can hear it charging.  He tells her to straighten her legs.  She starts crying saying she can't.  He keeps telling her to do it, and gets more and more scared and frustrated.  Since she won't do it herself he tells her she is going to get shocked.  He makes her choose a leg.  

By now, her left leg is shaking uncontrollably.  I am sure there is some fear about it, but mostly being in this position for so long and not being able to change leg position.  Now at this point I am starting to feel real empathy for her.  I hate electricity.  I hate the thought of electric shock.  Even something mild compared to a cattle prod would have me reacting the same way she is reacting.  Electricity is one thing that puts true fear in my heart.  As much as it scares me and I would fight it, I am again jealous of this poor girl.

She eventually picks the right leg and he shocks her hard.  She jumps and one of the clamps gets pulled off of her nipples. She is in agony.  He backs off a bit and lets her regain her composure.  Her legs are still shaking while he strokes her skin.  After a short bit he starts back up and tells her she still needs to straighten her legs.  He tells her if she doesn't, she will get the left leg with the cattle prod.  Of course she begs him not to and he ignores her request.  He zaps her and she pulls the other clamp off.  He immediately puts a Hitachi on her pussy and in no time she has rebounded from the pain and fear.  As he rubs the hitachi on her pussy he takes off and puts back on the clamps, creating a pleasure/pain battle.  She is begging to cum, her legs are shaking, and I am certain her mind is an absolute mess.  What an amazing predicament bondage scenario.  All of that and I am super jealous of her.  

The next scene has her tied like this.

  

He puts suction devices on her nipple, pussy and clit until they are filled with blood and sensitive.  He uses a cane on her body as she screams in pain with tears in her eyes.  Then he gives her the Hitachi treatment again.  She is drooling all over herself while begging to cum.  Eventually he puts a clothespin zipper on her, from her armpits to her toes, while the Hitachi is buzzing her.  He makes her choose decide if she wants the zipper pulled before or after she comes.  She wisely chooses before.  As much as I would hate the zipper, I am jealous of her.

The last scene starts like like this.

She is tied to Sybian vibrating saddle.  She has a corset on. Her arms are bound behind her in a leather arm binder.  She has a very tight posture collar on around her neck.  Her hair is tied to the ceiling keeping her upright and from falling off.  Her feet are tied up and back so that she cannot use her legs to escape from the vibration.  For the next 30+ minutes he vibrates her pussy and clit while alternately whipping her, torturing her nipples and using a plastic sheet to cut off her air supply.  

Through all of this, she has countless orgasms.  Since he doesn't turn off the saddle, she goes from one orgasm to being too sensitive and into another orgasm again and again.  Not being able to have multiple orgasms makes me even more jealous.  All of this was fairly boring to watch, I had to fast forward through a lot of it, but I am certain it was not boring to have to endure.  You can see the look on her face several times as though she is in another world or having an out of body experience.  In the post scene interview he said he stopped the scene because he didn't think she would or could.  Hot!  

I imagine the next day she hurt from dead to toe.  Her feet from her shoes and from being whipped.  Her legs from trying to endure so many strenuous positions.  Her back from being bent over.  Her nipples from being clamped and whipped.  Her pussy and clit from all of the orgasms and vibrations. I also bet every time she thinks of this event she will get very wet and aroused.

Having to endure even one of these scenes let alone 3 on top of each other seems very difficult.  I am extremely turned on imagining myself having to go through something similar and so intense.  Being pushed in such a way that I would seriously consider using my safe-word (during electricity) and either not using it or not being allowed to have one.  Riding the line between torture and ecstasy would be such a mind fuck.  My cock strains against my device just thinking about it.  That made me pretty jealous of this woman and many like her.  

  

An orgasm hasn't helped

Tuesday morning I was released from chastity after 5 days for a Dr's appointment.  Mistress and I had sex on Wednesday morning.  It was the first time we had sex in 26 days and therefore my first orgasm in nearly a month.  I am certain Mistress didn't wait 26 days for her orgasm.  I am sure she has had many which is a very hot idea of her cumming so many times while I don't.

Prior to being locked in chastity I had been going through a very difficult patch emotionally about work.  When Mistress locked me up, an amazing thing happened.  All of that negative destructive energy got redirected into my libido, my sexuality and my submissiveness.  I was very horny and very such wanting to be under Mistress' firm control.

When we were having sex on Wednesday morning I was able to give Mistress an orgasm before I got to the edge myself.  Her pussy felt so amazing on my cock.  Mistress told me to cum.  I begged to not cum, as I didn't want to lose this horny neediness that I had back to disappear.  As much as I wanted to stay orgasm free, my cock really needed the stimulation.  I asked Mistress for permission to cum and in a few strokes was able to fill her up with my cum.  She was kind and didn't require me to clean her up with my tongue.  We got out of bed and spent the rest of the day decorating the house for Christmas and getting ready for Thanksgiving.

Yesterday morning I tried to get a sexual repeat of the previous day.  The orgasm I had Wednesday did absolutely nothing to reduce my horniness.  In fact, I was even more horny.  The chastity and the orgasm reminded me of my place.  My submissive soul was released from the anxiety I had been experiencing for so long.  I believe that D/s has some therapeutic powers for guys wired like me and this seems to be one of those cases.  I was horny and ornery with Mistress most of Thursday morning.  Mistress was annoyed enough that she told me she would have locked me in the cage if she didn't need my help.  I commented, that maybe that was the reason I was being snarky.  She couldn't do much about it.  I spent the rest of the morning following orders and helping Mistress get ready for Thanksgiving.

At bedtime last night my libido was back on 10.  I tried to initiate a bit, but Mistress was tired and didn't let me get too far with my initiation.  That didn't stop my libido.  As I drifted off to sleep I realized Mistress and I had the next full 3 days and nights all to ourselves.  We had nowhere to be, and nothing to do.  My submissive mind quickly started coming up with ideas.  

A couple paragraphs below this one I am going to describe in detail my 3 day fantasies.  I am writing this to communicate and to get it out of my head.  However these descriptions could also be considered me being a pushy bottom.  Below the row of asteriks are my descriptions.  If you believe this communication is me pushing form the bottom, please don't proceed.

Lastly, I have been bad.  At bed time I was so horny I thought about sneaking off to rub one out.  I didn't.  When I woke up at midnight to go to the bathroom, I was awake for about an hour and a half with thoughts running through my mind.  I touched myself The first time I stroked my cock just to get it hard.  When it got soft, I did it a 2nd time.  When it got soft I did it a 3rd time, but before stopping I took two fingers and rubbed the most sensitive part of my cock like a girl would rub her clit.  I managed to edge 3 times before stopping long enough to fall asleep.  When I woke up at 5am, I had a hard-on and proceeded to squeeze it and push it around as it felt so good.  When I got out of bed I had already planned on writing this post.  I knew I would be aroused and had already demonstrated a lock of self control, so I locked myself back up in chastity and left the keys on Mistress' vanity.   Apparently the orgasm I had made me hornier.

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Fantasy #1 - The Prisoner.  This fantasy involves me spending a full 3 days in much the same way a prisoner in jail would spend their time.  Mistress would have me prep everything in advance.  I imagine being put in very plain clothes, like sweats or plain pajamas.  Mistress would take me to our spare bedroom in the basement.  I would already be locked in chastity.  Upon arriving I would see a long length of chain coming from the bathroom in the bedroom.  It would reach to one side of the bed.  Mistress would lock the chain to my ankle to keep me from leaving the room.  She would leave me there for the next 3 days.  Visiting me only to feed me very plain meals.  I would have no phone, no TV, no computer.  It wouldn't be fun, but the loss of control would be so intense for me.  I wonder if I would try to use my safe-word?  She could also change it up.  Lock me up as before, but put me on 'work release' several times throughout the day.  I would be released from my cell only to be shackled to make her meals, be given chores, made to clean the bathrooms, etc.  I might be sent to the wardens office and used sexually before being returned my my cell.  Insubordination or doing a poor job cleaning would be dealt with harshly.  Time in the 'hole' (aka the cage) or the straight jacket overnight.  There are many hot prisoner scenarios online, but the ones over many days are very hot to me.  3 days seems to fit the bill perfectly.

Fantasy #2 - Sissy, Slave, Slut weekend.  I imagine going upstairs as soon as Mistress wakes up.  I would draw a hot bath and shave every hair off of my body, including my facial hair.  When I got done, I would lock up in chastity and I would plug my sissy hole with a butt plug.  I would then paint my toenails and fingernails in a color or colors picked out by Mistress.  While waiting for my polish to dry I would put on mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, etc.  It's been a couple years since I have worn makeup, so I might need some help.  I would then dress in an outfit picked out by Mistress but most certainly something elaborate including stockings, bra inserts, corsets, etc..  Over the course of the next 3 days and nights I would live as Mistress female slave.  I would be expected to do chores in any outfit she chooses.  I would bathe Mistress. I would shave Mistress.  I would dress Mistress.  I would give her foot massages or full body massages.  I would service her sexually in any way she desires.  My cock would be locked away the entire time.  My ass would have something in it every waking hour and possibly 24/7 if I can endure it.  I would spend incredible amounts of time with my tongue between her legs.  I would be using my fingers, toys, or the dildo gag to give Mistress orgasms all weekend.  I would spend hours sucking on a strap-on either attached to Mistress' hips or attached to something else if she didn't want to wear it.  I would have to put on a fashion show.  Ever time I would see my nail polished hands I would be reminded of how feminine I have become with Mistress' encouragement and assistance.  Every bit of maleness would be swept aside.  Lastly at some point over the 3 days she would take me out of the house fully dressed.  We'd take her car as her windows aren't tinted.  We might even drop me off in one corner of a parking lot and make me walk to the other side.

                                    

Some other ideas I had, but without descriptions.  Collar, multiple predicament bondage scenarios I could pre-setup, panty water, shocking dog collar, gay/trans video torture, self prostate milking, online cam, e-stim, sleeping in bondage, frozen fluids, fucking machine, molly, Walmart humiliation, interrogation, bachelor games, iphone counter game, deepthroat, remote control, forced multiple orgasms, 

More and more

Just when I thought I couldn't get any hornier.  Mistress seems to be enjoying my chastity and because of that I am enjoying my time in chastity that much more.  Mistress gave me a nice little tease last night before bed which sets the tone just right for the night.  On top of that I was wearing my body hugging nighty all night so every time I woke up I was instantly aware of my situation.

As I was waking up, my mind kept going to places very close to my limits.  I fantasized about being locked in the cage.  I fantasized about Mistress taking me to a cross dressing friendly bar so she could have me in public.  I fantasized about Mistress tying me down and putting things in my mouth against my will.  I fantasized about a day called 'Mistress Pleasure Day', where my only job is to pleasure Mistress.  A bath, followed by a massage followed by a foot massage, followed by as many orgasms as she can handle.  I am to be her complete sexual and personal servant for a day or a weekend or longer!

When I got up, I put a nice full spray of perfume on my chest.  It fills my nostrils and takes me even deeper in subspace.  I am committed to wearing as many different feminine clothes as I can right now.  My slutty side was dying to wear one of my 2 slutty club dresses, but I am forcing myself into more normal clothes.  I am wearing slacks, a bra, a blouse and my highest heels with the strap a little bit too tight just for fun.

As I am writing this blog on one monitor, I have another monitor open. On the other monitor is a blog of all things feminine. The blog bills itself as "Dedicated to the feminization of sexuality in a world of power relationships."  As I write I scroll and watch a few minutes of videos.  Now my favorite posts are the ones of "difficult situations".  I imagine myself being feminized and being put in all of these awful predicaments and left to suffer  http://allthefemme.tumblr.com/tagged/predicament  

We have a set of stocks just like this.  I can so imagine this happening to me.

My next favorite one is feminization  http://allthefemme.tumblr.com/tagged/feminization All of these posts make my cock stiffen up in it's cage.  

I love this caption.

Lastly, I came across a video that really got my interest.  I can't believe I will even write this and I know I will come to regret it.  It's tickle torture.  I think I would rather be beat than tickled.  Watching the videos, it's not the tickling that turns me on, it's the helplessness that the victim experiences.  I am a huge sucker for helplessness and having control taken away from me.  I actually believe I would try to use my safeword if I was being tickled, but since no one is getting hurt, there is really no need for a safeword.  I have avoided bringing up this topic for over 7 years as I am afraid what will happen.  http://allthefemme.tumblr.com/tagged/tickling   

All of that being said, chastity, denial and feminization are keeping me so ramped up I am getting more and more willing to do anything.  I love this feeling even though it make want to do things more and more against my perceived limits.     

Bondage As Punishment

I wasn't sure if my dressing feminine was expected to be back full time or just yesterday.  Last night Mistress indicated that it was not just for yesterday.  It's back on.  I can honestly say I wasn't it expecting it to be full time.  There are some challenges to it, but I want Mistress to challenge me more than I can put into words.  And by the hard-on in my pants I can tell you it's a good thing she is getting strict with me again!

Now for the post I created yesterday for today since I am out all day.

I am a huge fan of being tied up.  That really is #1 at the top of my list.  The tighter the better.  The other day I ran across a video of a woman tied up in an impossible position (for me at least).

http://asianastarr.com/asiana/category/whats-inside/

Listening to the banter between her and her Master you learn that she has been in this position for around 35 minutes.  She is pretty much wrecked.  It hurts to stay in this position and it hurts to move as blood moves back into numb parts of her body.  She is in tears and her breathing is labored.  I am absolutely fascinated.  Fascinated by her flexibility.  Fascinated by his sadism.  Fascinated by the concept.

He keeps taunting her.  Asking her questions.  She is in such distress she can't answer him.  He threatens her with more time and she finally answers him.   At one point he removes the rope that runs behind her neck that is keeping her keens toward her face.  While the release should be a relief, it's excruciating.  After the initial shock wears off you can see some relief, but not near enough.

The beauty of this is that he doesn't have to do anything else.  Time is the enemy.  He doesn't have to hit her or hurt her in any way although he could.  All he has to do is sit and get in her head.

Watching this I am extremely jealous.  To take something that is my favorite activity and make it my worst enemy is such a hot idea.  The most I have felt this way is with Mistress.  When we first started dating there were a couple times I was suspended to the ceiling by my wrists.  It's a difficult position but it can allow for too much movement so it because more predicament bondage than I am thinking here.  The other time I was put into the straight jacket and into the cage.  The jacket really limited my ability to reposition but I was still able to relieve the major discomfort.  I have been tied to the bed spreadeagle for quite some time, to where it hurt to be untied, but I have never been tied so long or so difficult that I have needed to use my safeword.

After watching this videos I found some more ways to use bondage itself as punishment.  I tried to find pictures of guys, but there just aren't enough.  Also, any of these positions are made much harder by being made to wear high heels.

Super Simple.  The back, hips and shoulders will start hurting in no time. This one is of the chest tied to the ankles.

I have looked and looked for the male version of this but couldn't find it.  It's the same, but the balls are tied to the ceiling to prevent movement.  

A ball gag that is way too big, forced keeling, neck restrained.  Not only will her body hurt, her jaw will fatigue badly.

Trying to gain some relief.  It doesn't work.

  

Those clothespins just add to the helpless feeling.

Knees to neck is what make this so hard.

I imagine myself in this position in my office.  

He's only restrained by one thing

High heels would make this much worse.

I love how he gets in her face.

I found one with a guy.  There is nothing he can do but wait for the pain to set in.

I love how the leather straps tie her ankles to her thighs.  The knees will feel that soon.

  

Completely helpless with 3 pieces of restraint.

   

She's not tied, but she can't move either.  That will hurt soon enough.