Obeying

I try to work out at least 3 days a week.  We have a good range of workout equipment in our basement, some of which would be great for bondage.  2 days ago Mistress told me she wanted me to wear a specific workout outfit the next time I worked out which is today.  A pink workout shirt, tight women's shorts, and my pink Reebok's.  Being given an order 2 days ago used to make it easy for me to use the excuse of "I forgot" when I didn't particularly want to do a task.  Why don't I want to do this task?  Because I am feeling insecure and humiliated.  Especially because Mistress is going to come downstairs and see me in this outfit.  I will be embarassed, and likely blush a bit.  I will feel like something is wrong with me as a man.  The thing is, that's the best reason to give me the task.  There is something very powerful in the shame I feel being dressed in women's clothes in front of Mistress.  It's exciting. It's an aphrodisiac to me.  I absolutely love it when Mistress gets in my head this way.  I'm getting a hard-on just writing about it.  Despite the mental challenges this is what I desperately want, no matter what Mistress has to do to me to make me obey.     

Now that I have figured out why I disobey, I am having an easier time obeying.  Last night I set out my workout clothes, so I had one less excuse.  This morning I was going to wear a jacket over my pink shirt.  Instead I have chosen to embrace it.  I also am wearing pink socks that were not part of the original order.  

Now this is exciting to me.  Mistress pushing me in small ways and me obeying even though I am feeling mentally challenged by it.  I love the idea of where this can go.  Being Mistress's chastised, feminized, obedient slave whose only purpose is to serve her and sexually please her.  To be used, abused, humiliated and challenged.  To be taken to a place where I will literally do anything she tells me to, just to please her.  I'm a lucky man.