I was reviewing my chastity log to see where I am at in the grand scheme of things. I am on my 15th day of continuous lockup. I thought I was close to a record, and I'm not even close. Here is where things stack up.
Current - 16 days
Sept 27 - Oct 13 - 16 days
August 29 - Sept 14 - 16 days
Dec 18th 2015 - January 16th, 2016 - 29 days. This occurred after Mistress sent me an email saying we needed to recalibrate our dynamic. - https://missbossybitchsboy.blogspot.com/2015/12/recalibration.html
It appears it will be New Years Eve before I break my old record. Now to be fair, my previous records were not 100% continuous. The 16 day periods this year were with me swapping out devices and being free at least once for a few days. The 29 day period during our re-calibration period had me out overnight once for a party we went to and for sex another time. As best as I can tell by going back to old posts, I likely stayed locked for 21 days straight at the end of 2015 and into 2016.
What's interesting from back then is that after I was unlocked in January, I was not locked back up until June. For some reason we skipped a whole four and a half months.
Now that it's my goal to stay locked in chastity 24/7/365 (and I yearn for it) it's time for a confession. If I am not locked up, I am on the honor system for orgasm control. Restricting my orgasms is is a fetish for me as well as I believe that it's good for our dynamic. It's something I want badly. But I am human and not perfect and I surrender to temptation occasionally. Just doing the math, I am around 99.25% successful on the honor system. That sounds pretty impressive until you realize that means I
have 2-3 unauthorized orgasms per year. This number is lower now that Mistress works from home, but it still occasionally happens. Another way to look at this number is that if I am permitted to cum 20-30 times a year and I add 2-3 extra orgasms, I have a 10% fail rate.
The first way this happens is when I try to edge myself and get carried away. These generally don't result in a full orgasm as I really do try to stop in time, but far too much cum is released for it not to affect my libido. The 2nd way this happens is outright cheating. I purposefully stroke and have have an orgasm, making it quick and satisfying. When I do this, it's after Mistress has given me an orgasm and my submissive libido is down. It's more likely to happen after a ruined or less than a fully satisfying orgasm. I get a taste of what an orgasm is like and I can't handle thinking I won't have one for a long time again.
While I'm at it, I should add that no time is safe. In fact, more of my cheats have happened while we are on a vacation somewhere. Mistress and I tend to have sex on vacation (so my submissiveness drops a bit) and when I can't sleep I sneak off to masturbate so I can fall asleep. Moving forward, going on vacation shouldn't mean a vacation from chastity, especially at night.
I am not proud of my cheating. I have promised Mistress that 100% of my orgasms are hers to control. As much as I believe in the honor system, I can't promise that I won't fail in the future. I am weaker than I thought and apparently need help with control.
Current - 16 days
Sept 27 - Oct 13 - 16 days
August 29 - Sept 14 - 16 days
Dec 18th 2015 - January 16th, 2016 - 29 days. This occurred after Mistress sent me an email saying we needed to recalibrate our dynamic. - https://missbossybitchsboy.blogspot.com/2015/12/recalibration.html
It appears it will be New Years Eve before I break my old record. Now to be fair, my previous records were not 100% continuous. The 16 day periods this year were with me swapping out devices and being free at least once for a few days. The 29 day period during our re-calibration period had me out overnight once for a party we went to and for sex another time. As best as I can tell by going back to old posts, I likely stayed locked for 21 days straight at the end of 2015 and into 2016.
What's interesting from back then is that after I was unlocked in January, I was not locked back up until June. For some reason we skipped a whole four and a half months.
Now that it's my goal to stay locked in chastity 24/7/365 (and I yearn for it) it's time for a confession. If I am not locked up, I am on the honor system for orgasm control. Restricting my orgasms is is a fetish for me as well as I believe that it's good for our dynamic. It's something I want badly. But I am human and not perfect and I surrender to temptation occasionally. Just doing the math, I am around 99.25% successful on the honor system. That sounds pretty impressive until you realize that means I
have 2-3 unauthorized orgasms per year. This number is lower now that Mistress works from home, but it still occasionally happens. Another way to look at this number is that if I am permitted to cum 20-30 times a year and I add 2-3 extra orgasms, I have a 10% fail rate.
The first way this happens is when I try to edge myself and get carried away. These generally don't result in a full orgasm as I really do try to stop in time, but far too much cum is released for it not to affect my libido. The 2nd way this happens is outright cheating. I purposefully stroke and have have an orgasm, making it quick and satisfying. When I do this, it's after Mistress has given me an orgasm and my submissive libido is down. It's more likely to happen after a ruined or less than a fully satisfying orgasm. I get a taste of what an orgasm is like and I can't handle thinking I won't have one for a long time again.
While I'm at it, I should add that no time is safe. In fact, more of my cheats have happened while we are on a vacation somewhere. Mistress and I tend to have sex on vacation (so my submissiveness drops a bit) and when I can't sleep I sneak off to masturbate so I can fall asleep. Moving forward, going on vacation shouldn't mean a vacation from chastity, especially at night.
I am not proud of my cheating. I have promised Mistress that 100% of my orgasms are hers to control. As much as I believe in the honor system, I can't promise that I won't fail in the future. I am weaker than I thought and apparently need help with control.
You are setting yourself up for failure with the last line.=I cant promise that I won,t fail in the future=You already gave in.Come on,Where is the positive attitude....You should be THRASHED for thinking that way.A promise is A promise no matter what.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong, I want to promise and I want to keep my promise. But I have proven that without the added security of a chastity device, even I am at the mercy of my hormones and libido. Thank you for your input.
ReplyDelete