Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Tuesday Feb 28th

Here are some reflections on the last week.

Not being able to say no.  There is something very freeing about not having choices.  It removes any internal conflict about whether I want to do something or not.  Also adding the mindset that if in doubt do the thing that leans toward the submissive option takes away the ability to manipulate an unclear decision.  It does feel a little topping from the bottom, but I guess that's better than not bottoming at all and acting like a top.

Chastity.  I hate it, but when it's active denial like it is right now, it's pretty hot.  Also knowing I don't have a choice, and I have agreed not to pout makes it easier to succumb to it.  Although I truly believe I can be chaste without a device, chastity certainly takes away any temptation especially with how worked up I am with my new masturbation schedule.  My new chastity underwear also make it much more comfy than panties with no room for a cock let alone a large device.  Thank you for getting me them.

Punishment.  We have been through a few things in the last month or so that have created tension and uncertainty.  I think we have done a good job of talking things through and working things out, but sometimes it feels unfinished.  There is a certain catharsis that happens when I have to endure something (it doesn't have to be pain per se, but anything that punishes me), especially when it's due to me messing something up or not taking your feelings into consideration.  I feel like it hits the reset button and restores a hierarchy in our relationship.  If you don't feel the same way, I get that too and don't want you to take that as me being pushy.

Masturbation schedule.  I kind of thought it was a little silly, but I see the wisdom in it.  It's very effective at keeping me in a mood and not feeling neglected especially with me in chastity.  All of the benefits of teasing and denial without it taking any effort on your part.  Genius.  So far only one spill (no orgasm) so I am learning to not go too far.  

Overall.  We are one week into this and so far I can see it working long term.  It's a bumpy start, but as we get used to it, I think it will become easier.  I hope you are seeing the benefits as well.  


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