Since we recently had been talking about orgasm denial and how it pertains to day to day relationship/sexuality I have been giving it a lot of thought. I am ok without orgasm, but it's hard to get too excited about it without 1. knowing I will get to cum or 2. having no orgasm due to you flexing your dominance as part of our D/s relationship. I obviously love to cum, which can either be vanilla or D/s, but I only love to be denied in a D/s context. I am starting to think that was a problem for me in the past. It comes across that I don't want sex when I really do, but exercising orgasm control while not engaging in D/s is incompatible to me. Now that doesn't mean I need to be tied up for orgasm control, but I can't be the initiator of sex that ultimately will deny me (or at least I don't think I can).
That got me to thinking about other things. For example, not blogging last week. I think that is more due to us having so much going on that D/s is on the back burner. If it's on the back burner and you aren't getting anything out of me doing the things you want me to do, I really don't want to do them. Again, I am not saying I need to be tied up or even bossed around, but I at least to be acknowledged when I do as I am told or when I don't so as I'm told. I don't wear panties, wear nighties, post my day or blog post for me, I do that for you as I believe it pleases you or at least seeing me do things that I don't want to do pleases you.
I want to be clear that I am not bitching in any way. I love what we have and know that we both have things going on that make D/s less of a priority. In fact I too have forgotten some things. In that spirit, I am confessing my "sins" of the last week.
1. I didn't blog post last week.
2. I didn't email my plans on the 31st.
3. I didn't wear a nighty all weekend although I packed one.
4. Not being in femme clothes as much due to the need to change clothes so many times.
Lastly, I have been fantasizing about the following things for the last few days... Being dressed femme more (including under clothes). Being strapped into a corset for hours. Being caged for hours. Having my Sophia pics including face posted in places like fetlife or collar me. Using the tattoo gel on me. Cum play. Wearing the straight jacket for long periods of time. Vac Bed. Sensory deprivation. Forced dildo sucking and deep throating.
I love you and the above email is just communication. If you have any questions or concerns please let me know.